Hello, I am a Christian, and I would just like to know, is their any proof of FSM? If so can you please show me the proof, or explain it to me over the web please, I am curios to know. I personally believe this is just some silly religion thought up by an over active imaginative mind of someone. Who told others, and the few that believed him were hopeless in life as it was to begin looking for someone to lead them, and show them the way, so they just followed whatever he said. ( much like scientology)
-Divooneh
Hello, I am a Christian
Published by Bobby Henderson October 2nd, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 383 Comments
383 Responses to “Hello, I am a Christian”
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My favorite part is how they gave such a wonderful description of christianity. My question in general is ” Why do people care so much about people loving the FSM and his beautiful noodly appendage?”.
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Oh, but Scientology is philosophically different from FSM. Scientology is more like religion versions 3.20(Hinduism) through 4.2(Islam) and 4.3(Christianity) than the earlier forms 1.0 (sun god) through 2.40,000(Hawaiian). It builds a dam of philosophic walls around it’s precious bodily fluids, and trains their parishoners (I use the term very loosely) to keep the holes in the dam plugged, and to keep people from climbing over the top for a better look. Daily ‘training’ is required. They believe it’s real, and not just an accidental figment of the placebo effect (mostly that, but also other pseudo-science that abhors the use & independent reproduction of double-blind tests).
In contrast, FSM doesn’t build dikes, it is dynamite at the floodgates.
Viva la RAmen revolution!
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@Daniel (post #345)
There are several possible causes of quadroplegia, and several different sets of circumstances which might allow the condition to be either temporary or permanent. Without knowing the details of the woman’s condition, it would be impossible to offer a rational explanation. Were you there when the condition first manifested itself? Were you there when it ended? Please supply more details of what you actually witnessed, and any background information or details your heard from others (keep the two types of information separate, please). You cannot expect anyone to conclude anything based on the minimal information you have provided so far.
As to the emotional states you describe, emotions are funny things, and can make you feel all kinds of different ways. Ask Charles Manson’s followers. They all thought he was god, but that didn’t make them correct in thinking so. Look at the famous “whirling dervishes”, at voodoo celebrants, primitive shamans — all of them instigated within themselves extreme emotional states which could be described the same way you describe your condition in your post above. Yet xians deny any validity to these others’ interpretations of what “spirit” was filling or moving them. Why should we attribute any validity to your equally unprovable claims?
RAmen
ET
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346 – November 19th, 2008 at – James Says:
EPIC FAIL
EPIC FAG
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Ha Ha Ha Ha. . . this is too good. Can someone say (Divooneh) a “dumb ass”. Wow, if only he knew the self-evidence of himself and his religion. The only people hopeless, i’m sad to say, are the religious intloerant christians who cannot create their own meaning in this life and therefor, being weal-minded, believe in a big daddy soaring through the sky. Ouch! oh,and here is some evidence of FSM= the bearded pirate blackbeard of the late 18th century noted in his documents, which you could find at the british museum, the image of noodles with heavy balls (was not italian) flying over his ship while distributing candy.
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Can someone forward this to Divooneh,
Hello, I am a Pastafarian, and I would just like to know, is their any proof of Crhistianism If so can you please show me the proof, or explain it to me over the web please, I am curios to know. I personally believe this is just some silly religion thought up by an over active imaginative mind of someone. Who told others, and the few that believed him were hopeless in life as it was to begin looking for someone to lead them, and show them the way, so they just followed whatever he said. ( much like scientology,judaism, Islamic, Hinduism,Buhdism,Sun worship,Mormonism,……..ect,ect)
Your
ManicMalcolm
P.s.
if you know why you dont believe in other peoples religions you will know why i dont believe in yours
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Oh. Oh no. This has GOT to be a troll. No one could possibly pack that much irony into a legitimate post.
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356 – ManicMalcolm.
You are second only to His Noodliness with that EPIC reply. Sha-ZAM!!!
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i’m sorry, where is your proof of Jehovah? what evidence do you have hidden away to prove the existence of any other “almighty”? this religion is “proven” by the support of smart people who like it. just like yours. faith does not require evidence. in fact it requires that there be NO evidence. otherwise it isn’t faith. its knowledge. you don’t know there is a god. you believe there is. it does not matter if he is real or not, because he is real to you. he represents all that is good to you. love charity, strength, protection. FSM does the same for us. he represents tolerance, equality, charity, kindness, humor; and he does it without spilling the blood of either our enemies or our messiah. thanks though. i will always get a kick out of Christians demanding evidence that another religion is real. like a flying spaghetti monster is any less plausible than a god who created all that exists in 7 days (hes all powerful why couldn’t he just snap his fingers?) got pissed off at his creation and drowned everybody, demanded a guy to kill his own son to prove his faith (but is adamantly against the death of the unborn) knocked up a virgin without her consent, had a kid, only to let that kid be tortured and killed in one of the most brutal ways imaginable, and is eventually gonna come back and fight a war on earth against his polar opposite, only the devil is at a disadvantage because he is neither omnipotent nor omniscient(once again, if god is all powerful whey not just say “your dead, i win.”)
seriously, if someone pitched this idea o you today brand new without 2000 years of its institutionalization, you would laugh at Christianity the same way you do at scientology…and you should. you literally have to suspend rational thought to take the bible literally. i’m not saying you cant believe the basics. the whole “do unto others” thing is pretty good. but just don’t act like we are morons because we don’t just assume that because some guy with a funny collar told us so that all this crap is real.
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PROVE TO ME THERE’S A GOD! Give me PHYSICAL proof… text isn’t physical, those are stories made up but people trying to sell books. and you know what? they made “ALOT” of fucking money doing it!!!!
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this is the funniest thing i hav ever read!! proof of OUR religion?!? what about proof of YOUR religion?! there is absolutely NO proof what so ever that god exists, that jesus resurected or that there was a great flood. as far as i can see, the belief in an invisible man/woman thing is absurd. can you prove that he exists? i didnt think so.
thanks for the laugh!
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Where’s your proof?
As a side note, I am continually amazed by the sheer number of zealots who reveal themselves as pretentious saints concerned for the souls of the “damned,” or as incredibly violent “Christians” that plan to watch from Heaven as all disbelievers burn in Hell.
Do you understand the word “satire”?
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where is the proof that ur god exists christian??
mmmmmmmmmm spagheti
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@ Daniel #345,
You need to understand that the transcendental experience that you seem to have described is a mechanical state that can be generated at will. With the appropriate training in Yoga, or TM, or Buddhist meditation, you may enter that state of being whenever you desire. It is good and healthy to be there often; use the experience to generate calm, and to reduce your heart rate and blood pressure.
RAmen
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To Micheal, at the top of this page, (or at least he was when I wrote this) I’m sorry, but isn’t your Spaghetti god invisible? Christians don’t think God is invisible, by the way. Do some research before you speak.
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@Yoshi
Don’t hate the newcomers to our fine religion.
And your god is a flaming bush, or everywhere and everything all at once.
At least scientists are able to make things almost totally invisible under lab conditions.
Also, to Divooneh, have you ever heard of String Theory?
Every particle is a vibrating strand in space. What do you think those strands are?
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A Wizard Did It.
A Wizard Always Did It.
Best not to think too closely on that.
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“If so can you please show me the proof, or explain it to me over the web please, I am curios to know.”
Sure. Just uh, Google an image of spaghetti. Alright, got it? Do you see actual spaghetti there? Alright, good, there’s your proof. Now, do a Google image search on “God”. See any pictures that aren’t paintings or costumes (or porn)? I think I’ve made my point.
However, I do appreciate the letter writer’s flame on Scientology.
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I’ll show you my proof if you show me yours :D
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So following a 2000 year old book written by people who had no idea of what science even was is more logical? Just because mommy and daddy told you it was true, doesn’t make it so. Remember what they told you about Santa Clause?
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AAAAAAND? you have some scientific proof of christianity that nobody knows about?
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Hello, I am a Pastafarian, and I would just like to know, is their any proof of Christianity? If so can you please show me the proof, or explain it to me over the web please, I am curios to know. I personally believe this is just some silly religion thought up by an over active imaginative mind of someone. Who told others, and the few that believed him were hopeless in life as it was to begin looking for someone to lead them, and show them the way, so they just followed whatever he said. ( much like scientology)
:D
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I love how your nicely saying this, so ill ask some things nicely to you.
#1. Do you have proof of your god?
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This is almost too perfect. I think this is a fake complaint.
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fellow pastafarians, don’t try to convince this person to prove christianity. he’ll simply respond with something along the lines of “proof denies faith” and etc.
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Hello, I am an FSM, and I would just like to know, is their any proof of Christianity? If so can you please show me the proof, or explain it to me over the web please, I am curios to know. I personally believe this is just some silly religion thought up by an over active imaginative mind of someone. Who told others, and the few that believed him were hopeless in life as it was to begin looking for someone to lead them, and show them the way, so they just followed whatever he said. ( much like midgits)
lol, I just wanted to inquire about proof of christianity, but was too lazy to think of a question, so I’ll just use this one….
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I as a Christian think it’s totally possible for God to manifest himself as a giant ball of flying spaghetti. Come on, he was a burning bush and a great wind before…
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Hi Divooneh
I am not a Christian or Pastafarian. Me and my people have returned to our ancient heritage. We worship Zeus and his family. This is the only religion that has a real proof of its origins. Look at all the statues from ancient Greece. Those are real life depictions of the Gods. You can go in person to Mount Olympus and commune with them.
I believe that Christians, Pastafarians, Muslims etc are all deluded. They were swayed from true faith by those quacks.
You can join us, drink the nectar and really live for ever and meet with Aphrodite and her nymphs every time you want. It is far better than Christian heaven (where you just sing hymns for eternity) or Islam paradise (when you eat white raisins or have to go to a hassle of having sex with a virgin every day; whatever)
Hail Zeus
Dan
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How well does “believed him were hopeless in life as it was to begin looking for someone to lead them” sum up every world religion (except FSM, may you be touched by his noodly appendage)? Just out of interest what does everyone think of this?
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Lol
Forgot to say…
I know a Christian who swears that he saw NOAH’S ARK ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN IN RUSSIA!
He says that the Russian’s won’t blow it up because it will attract global attention.
LOL AGAIN
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Hello, you’ve just described exaclty how catholicism and christianity began Divooneh! Der. Show me proof of your “God.” I won’t hold my breath.
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I would probably really like all of you guys, b/c I love a good laugh. But this hurts my heart…do your own investigation rather than making a mockery of what a few Christians have said to you that seems absurd. If you want proof than you are going to have to humble yourselves and seek it. May you all truly discover a Love that is beyond your comprehension.
In Christ, jj
“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.” Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.”
1 Corinthians 1:18-25
Start with the Gospel of Matthew or John and admit all your disbelief to God…He is more than able to handle it. Blessings.
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HeIsReal,
The atheists on this site all freely acknowledge our disbelief in god. We have read the buybull and we don’t buy it. Some of us have issues with books that have been altered to gain control of those who are gullible enough to believe something without any proof other than “because Jesus (who you can’t prove exists) and your pastor says so”. If you go back and look, Herod’s time doesn’t line up with “Jesus’s”, and there is no written documentation of the slaughter of the innocents in a time where records were very well kept.
You can insert as many random quotes as you want. Here, I’ll even give you some of my own:
“For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” (I Corinthians 11:8-9) – This is the one that the church uses to support suppressing women.
“If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;” (Deuteronomy 13: 6) – This is the one where the bible says that anyone who doesn’t believe in this faith should be killed.
“Every one that is found shall be thrust through; and every one that is joined unto them shall fall by the sword. Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished.” (Isaiah 13:15-16) – And this one makes it OK to take attack those who do not believe as you do, kill fathers in front of their children, and rape women.
God commands killing, raping, and the degradation of women. Awesome religion you have chosen there. We, on the other hand, can be good for goodnesses sake. You know, because we are actually good people that don’t need a contradictory, vengeful sky daddy who commands things like rape and murder. You on the other hand…
You and your god seriously overestimate your ability to intimidate us.
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