This is a stupid Internet Meme that has somehow turned into some kind of religion. Ranting at them is not going to help.
Before you ask, yes, I am Christian and believed Jesus died on the cross for all of us because he loved us that much.
If I may ask, though, would the FSM willing give up his own son (if he even has one) for a multitude of people who hate him, despise him, aim to obliterate his very existence? Even if this act only saved one person?
-Crystos
this is a stupid internet meme
Published by Bobby Henderson September 29th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 144 Comments
144 Responses to “this is a stupid internet meme”
You didn’t need to own up to being a christian, the fact that you decided to stick your nose in was enough evidence of that!
I take it you have some evidence that FSM would NOT give up his son? If so, lets see it.
RAmen
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Why yes, he would. However, the FSM has never had to deal with anything like that because He’s smart enough to know that if He’s the Creator of all things, He can do things His own way. If He wants to forgive humanity–and He probably doesn’t want to–He can do so without having to make a sacrifice. The whole Jesus thing is pretty much pointless symbolism, even if it’s true, and that is something the Holy FSM can do without.
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I would Imagine he would, however there is no need. People don’t need to sacrifice themselves or their sons for the anyone else. The only time I can see that happening is in the movies, and I can’t recall any movies that have someone sacrificing their son for the good of humanity. It’s never been done because it’s kind of lame.
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Of all the things my parents ever gave me, I am most grateful that they provided freedom of religion. I was able to escape those early years, when the mind is most open to persuasion, without the constant brainwashing that most children endure day after day, or week after week. I was free to make up my own mind about god, based on my life experiences. I’m sorry you obviously weren’t so lucky!
I have spent the past ten years searching for a place where I could feel like I fit in. Where my views aren’t so outrageous, and maybe find some others who like me, find it difficult to pray to an invisible man in the sky. Finally I was touched by one of His Noodly Appendages, and I am now proud to call myself a Pastafarian. Go ahead and believe in your zombies if you want, but I’m sticking with my pasta and saucey goodness.
Ramen!!
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oh the irony
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My education didn’t include the classics or religious studies, so please explain: How did Jesus sacrificing himself on the cross save us?
If FSM saw someone in trouble, he would change the situation that the individual was in, thus saving the victim without removing his noodly son (or daughter) in the process. What’s this fascination with sacrifice anyway? It’s so impractical.
*rolling eyes*
Arg. RAmen.
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Hi there, me hardies,
I’m still in shock of discovering pastafarianism. I’m transfixed by His Noodliness which is so perfect and energy giving. His life farce fills my very soul.
So, in response, Crystos. Pasta is real. I know. I’ve seen it. Not in action mind, but covered in a lovely thick, creamy and edifying sauce that I just can’t wait to gulp down. The FSM would not ever need to give up his son for a multitude who hate him. A multitude who hate pasta? What are you talking about. This is nonsense. Who hates pasta?
Yours sincerely, me hardies. A new pastafarian.
Iain Mott
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And that is some sort of stupid bronze age myth that has somehow got turned into an institutionalised system to control vulnerable people over hundreds of years. You’re right, ranting at them doesn’t seem to help as is evidenced by your own irrational belief;
You believe that an invisible, possibly bearded, sky-man ‘loves’ us all so much that, if we question him even a little bit he will condemn us to eternal torture in hell. However, its because he ‘loves’ us all so much he was willing to have his own son (who is himself, mind) killed in a brutal, barbaric way as an example of how much he ‘loves’ us. Thus giving us a chance to avoid the self same hell (which he created don’t forget) as long as we agree, apparently through telepathy, to stop questioning him anymore.
I’ll take my meme anyday, thanks.
RAmen.
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How is this question relevant? You come to our website to denounce us, and expect us to accept your fairy tale as some kind of barometer to judge ourselves by? A fairly typical example of xian logic. Also a fairly typical example of the xian ability to completely miss the point.
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Sure – why not? Join the crowd! Do your research and you’ll find that the “son of God who was crucified for our salvation” story was 3000 years old before Jesus came along, and had been used many times. Complete with 3 kings, virgin birth, shepards at the nativity, star in the east, walking on water, resurrected after 3 days around the vernal equinox, yada, yada, yada. Google Horus, Mithra or Attis.
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Don’t both (pastafarian & christian) believe we’re all their respective god’s creations, and therefore, children?
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What? That’s just a stupid question. Would anyone in their right mind kill their own child to please people they haven’t even met? Sounds like someone needs his meds adjusted.
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His Starchiness is most generous and loving and would go to any lengths to sustain the world’s creations (everything except actually intervene in a physical sense, mind you, since there is absolutely no evidence for supernatural phenomenon).
But His Pastiness did not create a situation in which it was necessary to kill anyone. His Noodliness did not create humans and set them up to sin in the beginning, so there was no reason to concoct a scheme of redemption. This is where thinking ahead can help your end-game.
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“Before you ask, yes, I am Christian and believed Jesus died…”
I actually had no intention of asking. But now that you bring it up, why the change of heart?
The second part is more interesting–I think you’re trying to set up a comparison between our Beloved Noodliness and this “Jesus” fellow I’ve been hearing so much about…
I could be wrong though, because your description doesn’t sound very much like the Biblical story. You seem to argue that God gave up Jesus for the sake of a bunch of God-haters, and God’s handing over Jesus only saved Jesus. That makes Jesus’s death sound pretty insignificant. And how is handing junior over to the mob a good parently thing to do? Plus, how was God “giving up” Jesus if he knew that once Jesus died, he was going to be his eternal right-hand-man? That’s like “giving up” a photograph by having it tattooed on your arm.
This is all very confusing to me… I’m not one to speculate about FSM’s family plans, and I don’t really see the utility in taking up your hypothetical apart from noting that it’s all a bit silly, isn’t it? It just goes to show that people will believe the craziest shittake mushrooms.
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Uh…he just grants us all that stuff without asking for the death of anybody. Hes not that sick.
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Human sacrifice? How gross.
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No! – This is a stupid religion that has somehow turned into some kind of an internet meme!
Why would the FSM (pesto be upon him) need to give up anything to anybody? What kind of sense would that make? Your god seemed to need to sacrifice himself to himself to appease himself for the misdeeds of creatures that he knew in advance would commit “sins”. The FSM was just drunk when creating everything, and really isn’t that fussed about “evil”. Honestly – who hates pasta, anyway? His noodly embrace is reaching out to you – indulge!
RAmen
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Ummm…. Why would the Great Noodly One need to sacrifice his son in a horrible and painful way? I mean, we’re all going to heaven, you non-Pastafarians’ll just get stale beer.
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im very sorry to correct u but ur god was a bitch he sent his own son in sted of himself who does that? hes such a bitch he wont even show himself in public! fsm would sacrafise himself to save all us priatey beleivers and u selfifsh christians. i use to be a christian and ive budism to but nothing makes sense accept his noodleyness himself
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I’m really confused by this one. Are you saying that god gave up his son for a multitude of people who hated him, despised him, wanted to obliterate his very existence? Why would he want to do that? How could these people hurt god? How would the death of his son change that? And, how could his death “save” anyone (and from what)?
The answer for Pastafarians is really very easy. Quoting from the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s First I’d Really Rather You Didn’t, “If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain.” We are already OK with the FSM and so are you.
Relax. Reread the answers that were posted before mine (if you ever did come back). Have some grog and give this a little more thought. You may find that you have been touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen
PS Why is it that these hate mail posters almost never seem to come back? I can only think of Rachel and darkcitymedia and I haven’t seen them for a while either.
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What makes an internet meme any more “stupid” or insignificant than a meme which has been hanging around for the last 2000 years causing oppression and intolerance (witch-hunts, crusades, peresecution, etc)?
BTW the great FSM is always generously giving his sons (and daughters) to multitudes of hungry people who “aim to obliterate his very existence”… what do you think you do when you eat a plate of pasta? don’t you obliterate a great mass of those made in the image of the FSM just to satisfy your bodily hunger…
therefore it is abundantly clear that the FSM is more than willing give up his own sons (he has millions) for a multitude of people who aim to obliterate his very existence… and this act has saved not just one person, but hundreds of thousands of people from hunger… so it looks like the FSM goes one better than the stingy old christian god (who only sacrificed one son), dont it?
as regards those who “hate him and despise him”, they’d better follow another god, like the swimming crumpet monster, or whatever turns them on!
PS you too Mr Crystos are free to believe whatever you want, but as you youself say “Ranting at them is not going to help”… you dont like the FSM? go elsewhere and leave us to our own “stupid” meme!
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Well, No I dont think he wouls let HIS SON rot for three days nailed to a chunk of wood, and any father who would…..well who would want him as a father anyway??
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May all ye nonbelievers eat some noodle soup and be healed in body and noodliness.
Ramen
*Here be dragons…and lasagna”
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Oh yeah, and that xian didn’t miss the point…they missed the line, the shape, heck they missed the whole page, as I notice that most of them tend to do. May the Great Meaty Balls see fit to reach out and enlighten them and touch them with the Great Noodly Appendage.
R’amen
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No, because he’s not stupid.
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When everyone in the bible is obsesed with sex, and rape, and paternity, god can have as many childern as he wants. If he were real, why the fuck would he care if one died?
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Wow you say you are Christian but yet call another persons beliefs stupid. Not very Christian like besides you missed the point of the site. Nonetheless, if Jesus really did die for you, he wasted his time. Some of the most violent and hateful people are Christians. Much genocide has been in done in the name of Christianity. You call us stupid?
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It boggles the mind that anyone would want to sacrifice anybody. Our illustrious Pasta Master would not be part of that. The myth of Jesus dying on the cross to save us from our sins is just that. A myth. The only pictures of him were done centuries after the so called fact or event. Hypothetically speaking, your God must have not liked the boy much or else he would have done his usually bit of sending hellfire and frogs to stop it. I’ve often wondered just why so many fundies don’t question any of these stories but just accept them on face value. By the way. This is not some stupid internet meme. This is a well thought out site pointing out the shear absurdity of organized religion. I guess it makes you feel really good seeing those huge expensive cathedrals built to pray in and suck more money out of dim witted fools alst while knowing that there are millions of people starving to death. Methinks the money could be better spent. Up here just north-eat of Toronto we have an abomination called Cathedraltown. Some filthy rich moron had it built just to guaranty his place in heaven. The sheep flock to it and drop money like an obsessed gambler. You have to see the Beemers and Cadilacs to believe it. The cost of the place could have put nearly every homeless person in Toronto into their own apartment. I’m quite sure he never made it to heaven. what kind of God wouls alow such a travesty? It makes one wonder. Here in North America we have people going to jail just for stealing food to feed their families. I bet you don’t find many of them thanking God. Sure, you have the odd Christian group out helping but they are very few and far between.
So Crystos, I have a suggestion: I doubt that you’ll take it though; how about the next time you’re in church and the collection plate comes around, why don’t you empty your pockets into it, take the plate and run with it donw to the nearest homeless shelter and donate it. If that doesn’t work for you why don’t you take the money to your local grocery store , buy the fixings for a huge batch of spaghetti and invite as many poor people as you can over and feed them. You could even pawn the plate for more cash. I’m sure the church won’t mind. After all, your doing it for a good cause, to get yourself a place in heaven. And isn’t that what it’s really all about for you type of people?
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One of the most literate hate mails we’ve seen…good spelling, good punctuation, and good grammar (althogh the use of the past tense BELIEVED is mysterious, and the last “sentence’ is not a sentence, it’s a clause). Based on experience, Crystos is just a troll; Christians can’t write this well.
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Didn’t Jesus go Heaven eventually? Wouldn’t that mean he wasn’t Given to us, but rather Lent to us? Your god let us borrow Jesus, not take him.
and just to be Oh-So-Obnoxious, the “Lent” thing was pun intended
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You do know he didn’t really “give up” or “sacrifice” his son? He and Jesus (if you believe in myths that is) both knew that when he died he was going straight back to heaven to either sit on the right hand or be god again (??? depends on how you were raised). So no big deal right. He didn’t give us his son, he lent him to us for a little while. And there was no sacrifice. If i give you a $1000 when I know full well I am going to get 10 million tomorrow – then no sacrifice. If I give you $1000 today knowing that money is all I have for the rest of my life – that’s sacrifice. S0… same thing. If I die today on the cross and know I am going to eternal paradise with dear old dad – then no sacrifice. If I die on the cross knowing I would blink out of existence – that’s sacrifice.
I try really hard to be tolerant of other people and their believes (no matter how misguided) but you “hate-mailers” make it so easy to hate christians. Please STOP!
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extract from wiki, definition of meme;
‘Memeticists argue that the memes most beneficial to their hosts will not necessarily survive; rather, those memes that replicate the most effectively spread best, which allows for the possibility that successful memes may prove detrimental to their hosts.’
What better description of orthodox religion could you get?
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Crystos
“If I may ask, though, would the FSM willing give up his own son”
The beloved Cheezus? Why on His Noodly Creation would the the FSM want to do that?
To be honest, I think you have wrongly confused Pastafarians with one of those human/animal blood sacrifice death cults. Members of such cults can be very easily identified by the human execution device replicas they wear around their necks. For the life of me, I can’t see how you have confused Pastafarians with them!
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Actually the FSM gave us his only begotten meme to disseminate over the internet to point out the absurdities of your beliefs.
And no, He doesn’t kill anyone as a token of love. This is one of the main reasons it’s such a popular religion.
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“This is a stupid Internet Meme that has somehow turned into some kind of religion. Ranting at them is not going to help.
Before you ask, yes, I am Christian and believed Jesus died on the cross for all of us because he loved us that much.
If I may ask, though, would the FSM willing give up his own son (if he even has one) for a multitude of people who hate him, despise him, aim to obliterate his very existence? Even if this act only saved one person?
-Crystos”
No, spaghetti can’t have children. Neither can fantastical divine beings without junk.
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Wait, where in the Bible does it say Jesus would have died for just one person?
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I would say that’s the typical Christian response to anything they don’t like or understand. Discredit it while not even understanding it.
Who are you to label our religion as anything other than what we say it is? Oh yeah, you’re a Christian, that’s what you do.
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Why, because your religion has a father son element and the notion of sacrifice and all that, does OUR religion have to have the same story?
Can’t you comprehend a religion that doesn’t mimic your own? Is there some formula somewhere that says in order to have a religion, you must have a father, and a prophet, and an earthy manifestation, and a sacrifice, etc etc?
You see how narrow your mind is? You can’t even comprehend a different general scenario than your own.
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What kind of sick god(or anyone for that matter)would sacrifice his son for anything? Sacrficing yourself for the better good is noble, but sacrificing someone else is just cruel. So to answer your question, no, the FSM would not sacrifice his own son.
P.S. Pastafarianism teaches tolerance for other religons, and to be non-dogmatic, you hate-mailers make that really difficult. Please stop.
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And all the Angel-Hair Spaghetti monters say…RAmen
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Have any of you xtians ever wondered what made the “sacrifice” necessary in the first place? I mean, here you have a supposedly all-powerful being who creates a universe where some of the denizens of that universe go and do some things that he made them want to do anyway (like premarital sex or eating apples) and which this All-Powerful being had arbitrarily labelled as “sin”. Now that they have done this, but they still want to get to heaven (because they like wearing togas and shit), this All-Powerful being has to “forgive” them. But he can’t just say “don’t worry about it,” he’s created some arbitrary rule that someone’s got to die a really messy death before he can say that. So he turns to his only son and says, “Look son, I know I screwed up, but I have a favor to ask. I want you to go down there and let those people kill you by nailing you to a cross and letting you suffocate or bleed to death. I need to show them that I love them so much that I’m going to send you down there and let them torture and kill you before I can let them say ’sorry’. Believe me, this is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.”
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Wait a second, this is the guy who made up all the rules in the first place! He’s ALL-POWERFUL! It’s his damn universe! And this blockhead is held up to us as the ultimate moral authority! I mean, you just can’t make this stuff up! … oh wait, you did! oops.
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Anyway, to answer your question, my god isn’t a lunatic who would create such an asylum in the first place.
Ramen
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Yaaarrrr, Crystos, has he not given us his children? Do we not have Campanelle, Capunti, Casarecce, Cavatelli, Cechetti, Cencioni, Conchiglie, Conchiglioni, Corzetti, Creste di galli, Croxetti, Fantolioni, Farfalle, Farfallone, Fiorentine, Fioriettini, Foglie d’ulivo, Fusilli, Fusilli Bucati, Gemelli, Gigli, Gramigna, Lanterne, Lumache, Lumaconi, Maltagliati, Marille, Orecchiette, Pipe, Quadrefiore, Radiatore, Ricciolini, Ricciutelle, Rotelle, Rotini, Spirali, Spiralini, Strozzapreti, Torchio, Trofieand Paul Newman pasta sauces (may he be enjoying the beer volcano. The FSM gave his children even though we ATE him, RAmen!
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The trouble is it wasn’t really a sacrifice was it. He didn’t die. In fact He (being God) knew he was not going to so as far as I can see it was a piss poor sacrifice at that. Judas, bless him, had to betray him to for the story to work so old Judas deserves a pat on the back I reckon.
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baked ziti: “Well, No I dont think he wouls let HIS SON rot for three days nailed to a chunk of wood, and any father who would…..well who would want him as a father anyway??”
rofl!!!
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We live in a very strange world if having your own son killed is considered a positive trait in deities. To be blunt, a supposedly omnipotent god “sacrificing” his son can only be seen as one A-hole of a god.
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@ Redbird. Great post, and, of course, the whole entire Salvation myth fails to account for the facts of Darwin, which indicate that death has always been part of the deal, rather than some punishment invented by the deity in response to the “original sin.”
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Today was the first I’ve ever heard of FSM. It warms my heart to know that there is still common sense in this world. To me, the likelihood of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is as great as that of God. I often shake my head when I hear people who I would have thought were smart say something like “God Bless You” I actually feel sorry for people who believe in God because they live in a perpetual state of fear. So please, go forward and spread the word of his noodlyness!
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Eh oop Mr Evolved ape! Now then!
You sound a lot like a Yorkshire lad, I reckon!
And yes, Judas deserves a lot more credit from Christians (dunt ‘ee now?)… He really set the whole sacrifice ball rolling, with all the sado-maso passion of Christ stuff and rising from the dead that the Christians love so much (dint ‘ee now?).
Tataa me lad! Say ‘ello to Ilkely moor from me!
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The Sacrifice or whatever it’s called that is described in the Bible reminds me of the many Greek Mythological gods, whose behaivor consisted of rape, incest, murduring and betraying family members (And somewhere along the line, they all were family members), cruel and unusual punishment, and senseless slaughter. They would not have only have happily sacrificed their sons, but would have raped their daughters and sacrificed the resulting grandchildren. Not, per say, for any human’s sins, but in order to assure the continuation of their authority, often unsuccessfully.
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What the Christian God did to His son was nothing compared to what Zeus did to His, and in any case didn’t do a damn lot for anyone.
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In answer to your question, no, He would not sacrifice any of his sons NOR daughters. That is unnecessary destruction, when all He needs to do is press the Easy Button.
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I believe the FSM’s willingness to sacrifice His offspring for the betterment of others is a rather moot point since He is presumably smart enough to use a condom.
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