This is a stupid Internet Meme that has somehow turned into some kind of religion. Ranting at them is not going to help.
Before you ask, yes, I am Christian and believed Jesus died on the cross for all of us because he loved us that much.
If I may ask, though, would the FSM willing give up his own son (if he even has one) for a multitude of people who hate him, despise him, aim to obliterate his very existence? Even if this act only saved one person?
-Crystos
this is a stupid internet meme
Published by Bobby Henderson September 29th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 144 Comments
144 Responses to “this is a stupid internet meme”
“He gives his only son to death, to forgive our sins, in the form of Spaghetti-Os.”
OH!!! FOUL…
How could I belittle such a noble action by referencing ‘ritualized cannibalism’ as part of worshiping it? To think that someone would show homage to the ‘ultimate sacrifice’ by consuming the body and blood…
wait a minute.
Never mind.
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FSM drained in the colander for our grins
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I think FSM would give his left meatball if he wanted too.
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“If I may ask, though, would the FSM willing give up his own son (if he even has one) for a multitude of people who hate him, despise him, aim to obliterate his very existence? Even if this act only saved one person?”
But if you’re an all-powerful being why would you have to?
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…sheesh.. that’s easy! Yes
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what he/she’s actually saying is that Jesus is dead. And that he would have sacrifised himself and everything he could have accomplished with his magic (healing the sick, delivering wisdom etc.) for one random person. That seems either selfish or stupid. unless he thought that person was worth it, in wich case we are not all equal at all as he claimed earlier in his life.
so, Crystos, is Jesus an idiot or a liar?
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Actually, most trolls do not seek religion. Although many fear it! The intellect of a troll is just too limited to handle the complexities involved with religiosity. Either they get frustrated and seek to crush all believers and eat them or they simply run away in fear.
But pirates fear no trolls!!!
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“If I may ask, though, would the FSM willing give up his own son (if he even has one) for a multitude of people who hate him, despise him, aim to obliterate his very existence? Even if this act only saved one person?”
A multitude of people don’t hate him.
He doesn’t have to…
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“Before you ask, yes, I am Christian and believed [past tense] Jesus died on the cross for all of us because he loved us…” [Did Dr. Freud make a little slip, here?]
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Bahaha this is too funny… Seriously, I’m a strong believer in FSM, and everytime I read the hate e-mails, I crack up… they’re so pointless..
Why don’t they just stop wasting their time to try and stop a huge group from worship?
Like, let’s go and try to stop all the Canadian’s from wearing heavy jackets in the winter to keep warm… Very stupid effort isn’t it?
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Congratulations on recognising that RELIGION = MEME.
Write RELIGION = MEME on a post-it and stick it on your shaving mirror, Crystos. Look at it every once in a while. See if it makes you think about anything differently…
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god must not have liked that kid much huh? he was a sucky dad too to sacrifice his own kid if i’m not mistaken parents are supposed to protect or at least put up with their own damn kids! and what the hell!?! crystos? you call yourself god but in latin/greek!?! hahaha! wow. talk about using the term loosely!
does your god taste delicious!?! (please don’t tell me i don’t want to know about your cannibalistic ways thank you very much!)
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is this a good time for a RAmen? I thought so….
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You are hilarious even though you appear to have no sense of humor at all! How can that be? I can tell you one thing (I think). The Flying Spaghetti Monster was NOT born of a virgin, as so many, many pagan gods and Jesus as a matter of fact, were. So at least we didn’t copy other religions. NO other religions have Pirates! Ramen.
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Why would FSM need to -kill- anyone or anything in order to forgive a bunch of idiots? He is a most benevolent and merciful deity, He managed to forgive without any bloodshed! Verily I say unto you – everyone will get to taste the beer volcanoes.
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No, the flying spaghetti monster is “intelligent.”
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Actually, it isnt THAT big a sacrifice if you can come back to life and heal your wounds, is it?
Shit, you can even turn water into wine!! So what the hell are all these christians bitching about??
Buck up lovelys, you get to play bocci ball with all the old popes.
I get strippers and a fine pale ale. Which afterlife would YOU choose??
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The flying spaghetti monster is not petty enough to kill his own son, to save some guys from himself. The flying spaghetti monster remembers to take his medication and doesn’t kill his children to save earth, from himself, because he DOES NOT DOOM EARTH IN THE FIRST PLACE! Then he doesn’t demand that his son dies on a tree to un-doom the place he doomed in the first place and could un-doom without the sacrifice of his child. Does YOUR god do that? Who is this “them” are you talking to us or your imaginary friend about us?
If satire jumped up out of the dictionary, definition in tow, then poked you between the eyes before jumping back into the book, would you recognize it? Or would you get on your computer and rant about it?
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And yay thy Sacred FSM said unto Boyardee, “Taketh my meatballs, for they are yours for eating. And therein you will be forgiven of all trespasses. Drinketh deep my sauces and know my everlasting love.”
~The Tome of Eternal Sauces 32:71
Clearly our beloved FSM would lovingly sacrafice for us, his meat spawn.
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On the theme of the Jewish-Christian God and all that here’s nice joke:
a Zionist sends his son for a trip to Israel and when his son returns his dad says: “well, how was Israel? I hope you are feeling more Jewish now!” and his boy says “well yes it was great, it really was a lot of fun, but the place had a strange effect on me and I’m afraid I’ve become a Christian!”
That evening the guy tells a fellow-Zionist friend about this and his friend says: “that’s strange! I also sent my son for a trip to Israel and when he returned he said he had become a Christian too!” The Zionists then both go to the rabbi and they tell him all about it and the rabbi says: “What a coincidence! I sent my son to Israel six months ago and he also came back as a Christian!”
So they all rush to the synagogue to pray to God to give them an explanation… Suddenly God appears in a blinding flash of light and says: “Oh no! Don’t say it’s happened to you guys as well??!! I sent my nice Jewish son called Jesus to Israel 2000 years ago… and he also came back as a Christian!”
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To tris,
I think its a disease. That explains delusions of religious grandeur.
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This leads me to a very important question.
What would His son (or daughter – gender equality, Crystos!) actually look like? And what nature of a wench would He select to bear such a child?
Or would he perhaps choose a female pirate?
Then again, a Heavenly stripper might perhaps have the appropriate level of spirituality?
An important theological question, I feel, and one that should clearly be answered post haste.
And if it’s a female pirate He’s after, I’m open!
—
(It has just struck me that all spaghetti dishes may, in fact, be His children, in which case, I think that answers the original question.
So, what are His children, and what would they be like?
Discuss.)
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Hello Joe The Jew. Post 121 –
You say “I think its a disease. That explains delusions of religious grandeur”. Are you referring to Christianity? Don’t a few Jews have “delusions of religious grandeur” too?? (although I’m not quite sure what a “delusion of religious grandeur” is!)
A friend of mine thinks that you mean that FSMism is a “disease” I hope she isnt right!
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THE INTERNET HAET MACHINE HAS SPOKEN.
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“Before you ask, yes, I am Christian and believed Jesus died on the cross for all of us because he loved us that much.”
No one really asked.
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um, wasn’t christianity originally a meme? OH THAT’S RIGHT! SHIT! Passed laterally through generations of society. DAMMIT!
Wouldn’t blasting the concepts of memetics be blasting the origin of your own faith? GOD I HATE MYSELF CUZ IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUUUUUUUUUPID.
It’s ok, the almighty FSM forgives all. Even the likes of ye. OH THANK YOU FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER FOR SHOWING ME THE WAY! RAmen!
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The Lord gives up His own body, His holy meatballs and noodly appendages, and every other type of Holy pasta. He gives up more then His own son for Goodness. He gives up His whole family.
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no. the FSM wears a condom. however, he will provide all five food groups to any who need it weather they like him or not. meatballs, tomato sauce (and not the cheep stuff in the can either) noodles and Parmesan are all there for you. thats how much he loves you.
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I don’t think it’s right to worship some1 or something that would kill off it’s son at all… that’s just mean… what would you guys think if my dad killed me off? it’d be all over the news as “Father kills son, gets life in prison” and everyone would look down on him… I KNOW!!! lets put that BASTARD on trial for killing his own son!!!!!
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i dunno ya, macta. if you were one of my close friends i would say “yes. hell yes. i would totally worship your dad if he had you whacked!” but since im not that close to you, i wont insult you.
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Hi, I’m a Christian and you cannot take a goddamn pile of spaghetti and make a god to worship out of it. I tried to pray for more spaghetti sauce and parmesan cheese, did I get it? Hell no! But Christ answers all prayers, don’t believe me, just try it and see what you fucking get. I’ll be praying that your lost soul does not burn forever.
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@Post #131
Haha you sucker. You think jesus is real. Sucker.
You just don’t get it do you, you sorry twat. Have you ever in your life had a prayer answered? Tell the truth and don’t sidestep the question with some irrelevant bullshit like your ilk usually do. Or don’t come back, we don’t give a shit either way-
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just wanted to let Mr. Poster #131, that’s not a very christian attitude. i dont know about the you or the rest of the people here, but i have always been taught to be open minded, and open to possibilities, no matter how different they may be from our own. i choose to live by this mantra, and i think you should think very hard about doing the same.
Nevertheless, this all has been written to proove a point, not to threaten your religiosity. if your faith is so weak that it can be shaken by something as simple as the FSM, then i think you aughta be praying for yourself more that anything… praying to God above to give you the faith you think you have.
I don’t wanna hear any more whining from you… remember, Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins. :) (note the satire once again… and if y ou take that seriously, then you really have no clue what religion, or faith, really mean)
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k, let’s try it…Jesus, can you physically show yourself to me and my buddy? how about saying hi to my mom, who is a fervent believer in you, in say, 1 minute? and please make it obvious that we actually witnessed you.
like, say your name, and what you do. and then dissappear in a flash of light or slowly levitate towards heaven.
…well, it’s been a minute, and my prayer wasn’t answered. on the other hand, I asked earlier to have pasta for dinner, and that’s what I got XD
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ohkay for all of the stupid people who think that this is an actual “religion” please learn to internet. This did not start as a internet meme. It became one. Alrighty retards lets assume that you can read.
—
The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) is a deity created as a satirical protest to the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution. The FSM is the deity of the parody religion[1][2] The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,[3] founded in 2005 by Bobby Henderson. Since the intelligent design movement used ambiguous references to an unspecified ‘Intelligent Designer’ to avoid court rulings prohibiting the teaching of creationism as a science, this presumably left open the possibility that any imaginable thing could fill that role.
In an open letter sent to the education board, Henderson parodies the concept of intelligent design by professing belief in a supernatural creator which closely resembles spaghetti and meatballs.[4] He furthermore calls for the “Pastafarian” theory of creation to be taught in science classrooms.[5]
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“Before you ask, yes, I am Christian and believed Jesus died on the cross for all of us because he loved us that much.”
Really? He loves all of us? Including children in 3rd-world countries and slaves? Huh, and I just thought that he hated them!
“If I may ask, though, would the FSM willing give up his own son (if he even has one) for a multitude of people who hate him, despise him, aim to obliterate his very existence?”
Yeah, check your local Olive Garden.
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“This is a stupid Internet Meme that has somehow turned into some kind of religion. Ranting at them is not going to help.”
no, no you’ve got it all wrong, this is a stupid religion that has somehow turned into some kind of internet meme.
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“If I may ask, though, would the FSM willing give up his own son (if he even has one) for a multitude of people who hate him, despise him, aim to obliterate his very existence? Even if this act only saved one person?”
FSM has many sons. He just dosen’t know yet.
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>If I may ask, though, would your god willing give up his own (meat) balls (if he even has them) for a multitude of people who hate him, despise him, aim to obliterate his very existence? Even if this act only sated one persons appetite?
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Long John, Come again?
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Crystos,
You “believed”? You mean you did believe, at one time, but don’t believe now?
“…he loved us…? You mean that he did at one time, but doesn’t love us now?
That seems like an admission of apostasy and an admission of heresy.
Read what a truly sensible Christian Evangelist, Southern Ptarmigan, tenth down on the comments thread, has to say:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=letters-may-2009&sc=DD_20090508
RAmen
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We are all the FSM’s children but heres the thing no Christian will admit, if Jesus died for our “sins” wouldnt it be a waste of his death trying not to sin, would not a life of sin embody his sacrifice so that his death was not in vain? chew on that meat ball.
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He wouldn’t need to. He could just use his noodly appendage to intervene. Besides it wouldn’t be that bad if they died. They’d get to go to heaven
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hm… Interesting, because, don’t you have free will? I have free will. Didn’t Einstein have free will? Yep. His mind was a little odd too. Asbergers or something. ^.^ No, I don’t believe that a God will interfere with any of our personal lives. Why? I wouldn’t want to get involved with us psychotic freaks if I could avoid it. OH SNAP! I don’t have that choice. We have free will so that we can be self reliant. QUICK! NO ONE STEAL THAT! I NEED TO GET A COPYRIGHT FIRST! IT’S MY LIFELONG DREAM TO BE A PHILOSIPHER!!! Oh wait… I have a philosiphy, therefor I must be a philosipher. Hm. ^.^
The difference (I hear) is whether or not people will accept what you said as “true” (I believe in Fact, not Truth). So…
You aren’t a very good philosopher, seeing as over 100 people think you’re making an ass of yourself.
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