This is the most idiotic thing

Hahahahhaa. This is the most idiotic thing I’ve heard. Pastafarianism, what such bullshit, how about you all turn agnostic and end this?

-hoho

51 Responses to “This is the most idiotic thing”
  1. 1 - son of the ugly one - Sep 27th, 2008

    Turn agnostic(again?) been there, done that. On the other hand I still had fundies in my face about scriptural infalibality, talking snakes and world wide floods for which there is no evidence. I find this to be at least as rational as any other mindset out there, and surely more fun.

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  2. 2 - Ron - Sep 27th, 2008

    Because I’m not sure if I believe in Agnosticism or not.

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  3. 3 - Aesi - Sep 27th, 2008

    How about you go take some more pills and go back to your happy little land? :)

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  4. 4 - Drunken Dogg - Sep 27th, 2008

    Wow that was amazing. Yet another christain comes here to offend my people. What is the point? We are loyal to our noodliness and will worship his Alfredo sauce-ness till the very end. Wow………..I wrote this much over a pointless-to-write hate mail..

    -Drunken Dogg

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  5. 5 - Oli - Sep 27th, 2008

    Oh, noodles, he knows a clever word!

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  6. 6 - anonymous - Sep 27th, 2008

    http://www.venganza.org/2008/09/26/a-proud-day/

    See that. I reserve the right to say that I couldn’t care less about the message if that’s who I’m believing with. Go Pastafarians!

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  7. 7 - Fiesta42 - Sep 27th, 2008

    I thought about that … but then I wasn’t really sure.

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  8. 8 - Fliegenden Nudeln - Sep 27th, 2008

    Hahahahhahaahaaahaaaahaaaaahohohoohooohoooo, you are an atheist as far as our Sacred FSM is concerned. Too bad the Pastafarian religion doesn’t have a hell where you can languish for eternity. But reward is commensurate with behavior, so FSM atheists get stale, flat beer and lap dances with fat, ugly, diseased strippers in the afterlife.

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  9. 9 - Captain Headwound - Sep 27th, 2008

    Because we don’t believe in the possibility of god, fascist. We believe in either A) the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or B) nothing. So tell all of your fascist friends to just shut up, and leave us alone.

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  10. 10 - BlondBeard - Sep 27th, 2008

    turn spagnositic? nah, I love the FSM.

    btw Fliegenden Nudeln, we do have a hell. it is similar to heaven, except all the strippers have STDs and the beer from the volcanoes is stale.

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  11. 11 - JoshM - Sep 27th, 2008

    Pathetic. I am damn proud to call myself a pastafarian. You can rant and complain about us you dogmatic jerk, but we shall never fall. As the saying goes, “If you can’t beat us, join us”. Welcome aboard!! Please pick up your eye patch and regalia at the desk to your right.
    RAmen

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  12. 12 - Cape Buffalo - Sep 27th, 2008

    Because being agnostic is almost as stupid as being religous. “you can’t prove or disprove god exists, so therefore you might or might not believe in him?” Grow up and pick a side.

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  13. 13 - Drunken Dogg - Sep 27th, 2008

    Oli, you have raised awareness……

    OH FSM, THE STUPID ONES HAVE LEARNED GOOD GRAMMAR, HOW TO WRITE IN COMPLETE SENTENCES, AND HOW TO USE BIG WORDS….. WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO ?!?!?!

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  14. 14 - Marcus Aurelius - Sep 27th, 2008

    @ Captain Headwound

    Um, agnostic doesn’t mean you believe in god or not. That being said, this guy’s funny.

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  15. 15 - Advantageous Mongoose - Sep 27th, 2008

    I’m not going back to agnosticism, it’s bland and boring. I’m sticking with this crazy belief bullshit, I haven’t laughed so much in ages. Why don’t you join in?

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  16. 16 - Bx 32 - Sep 27th, 2008

    Well I would, but agnostics are pussies. And I can’t be a pussy because no pirate worth his salt (and gold) is one.
    RAmen Mateys!

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  17. 17 - Fliegenden Nudeln - Sep 27th, 2008

    @ BlondBeard (#10)

    Yeh, I guess you could call it hell. It’s actually a dark corner of Pastafarian afterlife where fat, ugly, diseased rejects come out of a side door of the stripper factory, and the stale, flat beer comes out of a sewer pipe instead of from the big pure volcano. Also, pirates run around, poking FSM nonbelievers in the ass with cutlasses. But still, it’s not half bad compared to the Christian hell.

    Keep the Faith, Brother
    Fliegenden Nudeln

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  18. 18 - House of David - Sep 28th, 2008

    Open Conversion of hoho,

    I was foretold that “The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid.” [Christian Bible, Isaiah 11:6]

    Come then, journey with us and tread a truly righteous path. The path to sauciness, noodles, and lamb balls aplenty. Repent!

    Do not call the flock of faithful to spagnosticism. It is way unholy. Instead repent brother and join us.

    Give away false religions, save yourself for the one true FSM, brother Pastafarian.

    Save yourself from the possible multiplicity of hells, that in some sectors of the quantum-Universe include flat stale volcano beer, fat, diseased strippers (male, female, and blended sex) and pirate taunts, in others not. Put away your wolf-iness in sheep’s clothing and join us in everlasting rapture lamb-kins.

    RAmen

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  19. 19 - Cardinal Linguine - Sep 28th, 2008

    Where is the satire in being spagnostic? And the beer volcano and stripper factory for that matter?

    ramen

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  20. 20 - Spencer Klink - Sep 28th, 2008

    No, no sure I’ll believe in your God who made humans from dust. Your God who made man in his own image, with his bloated sense of supremacy.
    I lost one of my parents to your damned religion, and in the words of Rick James,”FUCK YO COUCH!”
    HOW ABOUT NO!

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  21. 21 - Al Power - Sep 28th, 2008

    Here is your final lesson – do not commit the crime for which you now serve the sentence. The FSM said, “Vengeance is mine”.
    But what if I don’t believe in the FSM I hear you say?
    It doesn’t matter. He believes in you.

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  22. 22 - TheFewTheProudTheMarinara - Sep 28th, 2008

    An agnostic is an atheist without the strength of conviction.
    Or at least I thought this before I was touched by His Noodly appendage.

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  23. 23 - jeremykeys - Sep 28th, 2008

    Hey HOHO, if this is the most idiotic thing you’ve ever heard of you don’t get out much. Have you heard of this thing called Christianity? Now there’s some weird shit. They believe in an invisible man in the sky, talking snakes, virgins having babies, and zombies for crying out loud. you should really come and join us. Life is sweet here.

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  24. 24 - mv - Sep 28th, 2008

    hoho prove that your religion is not BS! You can’t, so bite my noodley appendage!

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  25. 25 - Ishmael - Sep 28th, 2008

    Greetings Fellow Pastafarians,

    If any of you get the chance I would highly recommend reading Richard Dawkins’ definition(s) of agnosticism in the “God Delusion”. Until the time comes when every misogynistic, exclusionary, repressive, self righteous, egocentric, bigoted, hateful, deluded, and outright crazy religion is wiped from the earth I will remain a Pastafarian. Should that time ever arrive, then I will choose the path of a secular humanist. In the mean time I follow the obvious “One True God” his Noodlyness. If any of you spite filled, bible-thumping, Harvest concert attending, fish symbol on your bumper no driving, knocking on my door and interupting my football watching, suicide bombing, flying planes into our buildings, no eye patch wearing, jack-hole religious nuts don’t like it. Well then, you can suck my royal Irish mizen mast.

    Peace, & Marinara
    be apon you

    Sean

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  26. 26 - Razor Ray - Sep 28th, 2008

    What believing in the “FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER” as our “LORD” is any “less” credible than believing that an unknown, unseen, undocumented, aged, living in the clouds pedophile “wished” a 12 year old pregnant and that the “artificially” conceived child was and still is the “saviour” of mankind?

    F-R-E-A-K-S!!!

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  27. 27 - The Mighty Meatball - Sep 29th, 2008

    Why don’t YOU turn Pastafarian and we can all be happy together!

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  28. 28 - ET, the Extra Terrestrial - Sep 29th, 2008

    Hey, hoho, how about you change your religion because I don’t like it? I don’t care what it is, because if it made you into the intolerant prick you appear to be, it must suck. So go become a memeber of some other religion for a while and let’s see if it teaches you to live and let live.

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  29. 29 - sigh - Sep 30th, 2008

    wow. what such an ignorant bastard. I would try to destroy you but I haven’t had lunch yet, and chasing down biggoted bastards on an empty stomach is against the 8 I’ld Really Rather You Didn’ts.

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  30. 30 - Christopher Seemann - Sep 30th, 2008

    ag-nos-tic wow three syllables, you’re moving up

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  31. 31 - Dom - Oct 1st, 2008

    Agnostics are fence sitters, we believe in the one and only god – the FSM.

    RAmen

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  32. 32 - Dannyukmd - Oct 1st, 2008

    Just bought the gospel!! :P

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  33. 33 - Dima - Oct 1st, 2008

    Clearly you have not been touched by his noodly appendages. It is alright, we can all forgive you, for we are a happy bunch of sea-fearing noodle-lovers. Turn away from the fake religions made up by the haters of noodly goodness and sauce! Once you embrace his noodleness he will come to you and show you the true path as he did for us all.

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  34. 34 - Captain Headwound - Oct 1st, 2008

    @ Marcus Aurelius
    If you will notice, I said we don’t believe in the “possibility of god,” not necessarily saying that we have to not believe in god.

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  35. 35 - Meisha - Oct 1st, 2008

    Oh come on! One more time…then I’m done saying it. I will never say it again:

    If you promise not to tell me about your religion, I promise never to think in your church.

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  36. 36 - murky - Oct 1st, 2008

    you think THIS is idiotic? you should try listening to a promoter of Intelligent Design.
    read the t-shirt i say;
    http://www.cafepress.com/cp/moredetails.aspx?productNo=58941388&pr=F&showbleed=false&colorNo=0&tab=1

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  37. 37 - Davie Jones in His Latter Years - Oct 3rd, 2008

    Agnostic?
    Do agnostics have beer volcanoes? Stripper factories, I think not!
    Who’d ever give up pasta for uncertainty? That’s almost as bad as giving up curiosity for hymns and sitting on your butt throughout eternity.

    RAmen

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  38. 38 - Lyz - Oct 4th, 2008

    well, i feel the same way about your oh so all powerful God, watching my every move and sin…Who wants to worship a ginormous Sex offender in the sky, watching tons of women and men gettin’ jiggy with it.

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  39. 39 - Ornj - Oct 5th, 2008

    Agnostic people are atheists without balls.

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  40. 40 - skywalker - Oct 10th, 2008

    a few years ago while reading “The LIfe of Pi” by Yann Martel I came to this paragraph:

    I’ll be honest about it. It is not atheists who get stuck in my craw, but agnostics. Doubt is useful for a while. We must all pass through the garden of Gethsemane* If Christ played with doubt, so must we. If Christ spent an anguished night in prayer, if He burst out from the Cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” then surely we are also permitted doubt. But we must move on. To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.
    (Martel, Yann, “LIfe of Pi”, Random House, Canada, 2001, the last paragraph of chapter 7)

    ……….

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  41. 41 - yaerav - Oct 13th, 2008

    As Ornj already wrote: agnostics are atheists without balls. Pastafarians however, dó have balls… as well as delicious sauce… hmmmmmmmmmm… sauce…

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  42. 42 - Landlubber - Oct 13th, 2008

    I am a lapsed agnostic.

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  43. 43 - Joe. The Jew. - Oct 23rd, 2008

    what such?

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  44. 44 - Teh Spag-worshipper (she of the crappy name) - Oct 24th, 2008

    Are you sure you’re all right, Hoho? That’s quite a worrying laugh you’ve got there…

    Oh, yes, and why should we be agnostic? We know what there is, and we know it is the FSM. Perhaps, some day, you too shall achieve that level of understanding.

    Halloween is coming, after all. Become a pirate. Give out sweets. Go find ye some grog and some lusty wenches. Perhaps you, too, shall be touched by the noodly appendage.

    RAmen.

    @ Skywalker (#40)

    Wow. That’s the first time I’ve ever seen anyone reference Life of Pi on the whole interwebz. Have an internet, you deserve it.

    @ anyone in the mood to end my confusion

    If the FSM touches you with his Noodly Appendage in a Catholic-priest sort of way, is that good or bad?

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  45. 45 - Sarah D - Nov 13th, 2008

    Because I’m Wiccan. :]

    @ Teh Spag:

    FREE INTERNETS?! NOOOOO I MISSED IT.

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  46. 46 - Anna - Nov 27th, 2008

    @ least she admitted that shes a ho!

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  47. 47 - Can You Beleive Some People? - Dec 3rd, 2008

    we are all agnostic or atheist, and I’m pretty sure being an agnostic doesn’t make you ball-less, you just haven’t decided you really think atheism is the way to go.

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  48. 48 - marley - Jan 1st, 2009

    som how does the fact some NUT CASE was cionvinced he was the MAN IN THE SKY’s son and had followers make more sense?
    i mean really think about it.

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  49. 49 - Austin - Jan 17th, 2009

    I used to be agnostic, but it was too boring. No pirate hats.

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  50. 50 - MAN - Feb 3rd, 2009

    Agnostics are Aethiests without Balls.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

  51. 51 - AmznJazn - Mar 1st, 2009

    @MAN

    That’s the truth.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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