I ve seen some crazy shit in my life ….. but people actualy believing in this crap.you guys got 1 st prize @ the stupid awards!!!! futher do you people even know what all pasta s are made of please go look that up and explain that one to me ……. there is no words to describe just how stupid all this is !!!!! get real get a life and find The treu and only God
-De Wet
118 Responses to “I’ve seen some crazy shit in my life”
1 -
galderon -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Troll much?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
2 -
BlackBard -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Dear De Wet,
Just so you will know, I looked up “Pasta” in Wikipedia. Here is what I found, “Pasta (Italian for “dough”) is a generic term for Italian variants of noodles, food made from a dough of flour, water and/or eggs, that is boiled.” Now, don’t you feel better?
As for your exhortation to find “The treu and only God,” I am not interested in that because I have found the TRUE God, the FSM.
RAmen
Like or Dislike: 0 0
3 -
Theo -
Sep 23rd, 2008
See comments to all other Hate Mails.
(by the looks of it, it seems this guy is Dutch – too bad. I am too.)
.
I’m always curious about this ‘only’ god. That would mean that these people have the only right to the truth. So what proof do they have? None.
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4 -
Kristina -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Sweet! First prize!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
5 -
Lady Lippy -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Yeah…we do know what it is made of: flour, egg, salt and noodley goodness. What’s your god made of?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
6 -
Martin Wilson -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Well “De wet”,
It happens to be that “pasta s”[sic] are made of “The treu and only God”[sic], so I think most of us here have followed your request quite promptly.
Have a nice day
Like or Dislike: 0 0
7 -
Scotty B -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Seriously? Is De Wet aware that many Christians believe that a cracker is literally the body of Christ?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
8 -
The Evolved Ape -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Your letter demonstrates clearly that you have indeed seen some crazy shit in your life. Now, take a wild guess as to what that may be!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
9 -
ET, the Extra Terrestrial -
Sep 23rd, 2008
I love to start my day with a nice glass of attempted insults from a spelling-and-grammar-and-punctuation-challenged cretin. Please, if you’re going to attempt to insult us, take the time to read the Open Letter, and try to understand what it tells you about our philosophy. Open a dictionary, and brush up on the definition of satire. While you’re at it, you might want to check out the definition of science, too.
Just to clarify a few of your bizarre misperceptions –
I am real
I have a life, else how would I feel that pain? Or type this?
In order to find the “treu and only God”, there would have to be an actual word “treu”. There would also have to be an actual god. As soon as you can come up with some proof of these things, I’ll consider climbing on the bandwagon, but I’m not going to be holding my breath. Meanwhile, might I suggest you consider a remedial course in basic English skills.
RAmen
ET
Like or Dislike: 0 0
10 -
Dan -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Oh dear; first let me appologise for all the people that will point out your spelling is attrocious. It’s rather easy to insult your intelligence based on poor spelling.
Much more important is to look at your points. Oh, you made none. Now THAT shows you’re the true winner of the stupid awards.
PS Pasta us made from a variety of materials, most commonly Durham wheat but occasionally othercrops (such as corn, pulses etc), especially pastas for those who have gluten free diets.
PPS Religions claiming to have the true and only God usually assume he/she/it is not made of any observable material which is even more rediculous.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
11 -
StJason -
Sep 23rd, 2008
I agree. All those people out there believing silly stuff. I mean, there is a group out there who believes that by taking all their churches expensive ’self improvement’ classes, they can get rid of the evil spirits of dead aliens who are hanging on to them and giving them bad luck! And don’t even start me on the crazy Jesus cult.
Yes. Everyone should switch to the one ‘treu’ God, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
P.S.: Lame troll. Aside from a few spelling mistakes, and inappropriate punctuation, it’s more or less coherent. 4/10
Like or Dislike: 0 0
12 -
DrunkenSailor -
Sep 23rd, 2008
get real get a life and find The treu and only God
The one who can spell?
RAmen
Like or Dislike: 0 0
13 -
nuhudollo -
Sep 23rd, 2008
All the Hate Mail DOES come from one single guy, does it?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
14 -
Jochem Atteveld -
Sep 23rd, 2008
I ve seen some crazy shit in my life ….. but people actualy believing in this crap. You guys got 1 st prize @ the stupid awards!!!! futher do you people even know people live only about 80 years? How could a guy who created the universe still be around……. there is no words to describe just how stupid all this is !!!!! get real get a life and find The treu and only God; The Flying Spaggheti monster.
Ramen.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
15 -
Eric -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Which one is the treu (sic) and only god again? Buddha? Krishna? Zeus? Allah? Yahweh? Wendigo?
Please provide proof for your assertion. And a book whose author is unverified is not proof. We have a book, and the author IS verified. Therefore we win.
And we do know what pasta is made of. But that’s just earthly pasta, a pale simulacrum of his noodliness. We do the best we can.
And, as an aside, we’re still batting .000 for the ability of you nuts to express yourselves coherently and back up anything you assert.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
16 -
Seán -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Now that’s comedy!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
17 -
Dan -
Sep 23rd, 2008
I’d like to apologise for my spelling in my earlier comment, mainly typos and a dodgy space bar
Like or Dislike: 0 0
18 -
ApostateAbe -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Oh boy! 1st prize @ the stupid awards!!!! Finally, we can be taken seriously as a religion.
Pasta is made of pure happiness and joy. Go ahead and look it up on the package of your spaghetti noodles.
Ingredients: happiness (pure), joy (pure).
Like or Dislike: 0 0
19 -
Aesi -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Wow. You’ve got number 20 on my own personal “list o’ stupid people”. ;)
Learn to spell, please. :P
Like or Dislike: 0 0
20 -
brian -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Well, the Treu god is made up out of someone’s imagination. At least I can taste mine.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
21 -
Phillip Young -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Your a damn jew!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
22 -
Nangleator -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Because of your persuasive arguments, I’d have no choice but to join your religion. However, I’m afraid my average grammar, punctuation and spelling skills would disqualify me.
If I should suffer some brain damage and become hate-filled, though, I’ll be right with you!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
23 -
Mariner -
Sep 23rd, 2008
And which god would you be talking about? I mean, there’s plenty of religions (past and present) that have gods, so which specific one are you talking about?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
24 -
Joe Marinara -
Sep 23rd, 2008
“futher”…”actualy”…”treu”…”there is no words”
Exactly what language are you speaking? No, De Wet, don’t go away. Come back! I need to know what teacher failed you so miserably!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
25 -
Iron Mike -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Crazy shit? Crazy shit for the FSM.
Stupid? Stupid for the FSM.
rAmen
Like or Dislike: 0 0
26 -
Advantageous Mongoose -
Sep 23rd, 2008
I’m getting to the point where I could accept the teaching of creationism in school; on the condition that the students had to reach a basic standard of literacy first.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
27 -
SatiricallySpagnostic -
Sep 23rd, 2008
“I ve seen some crazy shit in my life …..”
-You mean every Sunday?
“but people actualy believing in this crap”
-Yes, they do.
“you guys got 1 st prize @ the stupid awards!!!!”
-If that’s the wish of his noodlyness
“futher do you people even know what all pasta s are made of please go look that up and explain that one to me …….”
-Perhaps you are looking for this – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasta
“there is no words to describe just how stupid all this is !!!!!”
-Yes,… isn’t it amazing how it always is somewhat less stupid than what most people believe? :) Praise our noodly master!
“get real”
-Check
“get a life”
-Check
“and find The treu and only God”
-Check (I assume treu means true)
Now why don’t you go ahead and try the same with yourself.
Fear not, the holy FSM is the most forgiving and you’ll soon be touched by his noodly appendage and may the wisdom blessed unto thee.
RAmen!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
28 -
PastaFaZoo -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Thank God! Someone with some sense, finally! You’re right of course. These people are all crazy. A God made of Spaghetti? Ridiculous!
He’s made of Fussili. Obviously.
“…but people actually believe in this crap.” Hmmmm, Magic Jewish sky Zombies, talking bushes, a “loving God” that kills over 2 million people (read the bible), and if he’s so loving, why is everyone so scared of incurring his wrath? The Father, The Son AND Holy Spirit? ONE true God, I’m sorry, which one?
And, for the record, we all know what pasta is made of. But how do you know it wasn’t created in His image? Is it in your bible somewhere? “Whoeth ever sayeth the pasta iseth divine, musteth be casteth outeth” I’m paraphrasing of course.
Dude, srsly. Get a clue. Learn to spell.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
29 -
The King’s Jack -
Sep 23rd, 2008
I already found the TRUE (not treu) and only god, and he’s a FSM.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
30 -
Sean Boyd -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Not buying it.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
31 -
Uke -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Why can’t these boobs spell?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
32 -
Alison Robin -
Sep 23rd, 2008
It’s Satire. You don’t think Swift actually wanted to eat babies, do you?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
33 -
Captain Headwound -
Sep 23rd, 2008
We win the 1st prize at the Stupid Awards? Wow. I thought that every year you christians (I am guessing. If you are of any other religion, I apologize) wrap up every single award. Wow, this is a first. YAY! Go Pastafarianism!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
34 -
Mac N. Cheez -
Sep 23rd, 2008
“Blessed are the ignorant, illiterate and grammatically challenged, for they shall inherit the…. uh.. the.. Ahhhhhh, fuck ‘em They’re not getting anything.”
signed,
god and the baby jesus
Like or Dislike: 0 0
35 -
dianeasaur -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Oh, the mutiny of his grammar!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
36 -
Wench Sarah -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Pasta is made of wheat, primarily.
I’d like the thank the FSM (for my new prize!) YAY!
There is no words to describe poor grammar. ARE.
Yes, the true god is made of pasta!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
37 -
jeremykeys -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Been there. Done that. Pasta is usually made from wheat flour although you can also get rice pasta. As for the one true god. which one out of thousands is that? I’m glad we got your attention but it would help if you could just be a bit more specific. As far as I know the FSM is the one true God but he’s pretty laid back so you might not have noticed. Talking about crazy shit, have you heard about the people that actually believe there’s a God that is so self centred and nasty that if you don’t believe in him and follow his rules he’ll condemn you to eternity in a flaming pit? That’s insane! This God, who many people believe created the universe apparently does this out of love. It begs the question: why would anyone want to follow this sick and twisted religion? Their priests probably have a history of having sex with little boys. It wouldn’t surprise me at all. Why I bet they even beg and scam people for money. They probably spend utter millions on churches while people are starving to death. Can you imagine? I have to wonder just what kind of idiot believes this nonsense? Oh yeah, they also think that this God created the universe only about 6,000 or so years ago. Insane I tell you. Every scrap of evidence tells us otherwise but still some people think this is true. They even have a talking snake in their story. Right. I sincerely hope I never meet any of these weirdos because they are probably violent. They probably even shoot people and think they’re doing the right thing in the name of their God. I’ll stick with the FSM. Spaghetti and beer make much more sense then that silliness.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
38 -
Pez -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Who cares what pasta is made of? Have you no concept of faith? Why must you question the genetic composition of our Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster? Did he not create you, and me, and everyone else? Show respect to the one true Flying Spaghetti Monster – sauce be upon him – and stop worshipping false gods.
RAmen.
(Recent convert)
Like or Dislike: 0 0
39 -
hunterII -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Why, just why? Also, please use spell check. Thank you.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
40 -
Will -
Sep 23rd, 2008
No just god would allow you to exist unless he had a raging hardon for spiting people like me.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
41 -
VictorHasBeenTouched -
Sep 23rd, 2008
You spelled true wrong.
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42 -
Dan (dat haole dude) -
Sep 23rd, 2008
Arroha, De Wet…your requests for me (&, perhaps, the rest of “us” on this site) are…..DENIED..
1) “get real..” worshipping the FSM ISN’T real? who knew?
2) “get a life..” nahh, yez always ends up dying in the end (altho, the strippers & beer volcano are pretty good compensations for being discarnated)
3) “find The…..” YOU find he/she/they/whatever..it’s not my day to watch ‘em!
may ya be TBHNA (before the spelling/grammar/politeness police come knocking on your door)..
Like or Dislike: 0 0
43 -
Cheeetar -
Sep 23rd, 2008
In the interest of keeping my standards for the human race, I believe this is fake.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
44 -
Corporate P. Huck -
Sep 23rd, 2008
First of all, if I was going to win first prize at the stupid awards I would give up all conventions of capitalization, punctuation, and subject/verb agreement, just as you seem to have done De Wet. At least you didn’t butcher the difference between your and you’re, as so many other posters who have come to save us seem to enjoy doing. His Noodliness DESPISES bad grammar and in all likelihood you shall be smitten.
Second of all, you ask “do you people even know what all pasta s(sic) are made of?” How dare you? I mean HOW DARE YOU?! ALL pastas are not made of the same things. There are your basic pasta made from semolina flour, but there are also noodles made from rice flour, whole wheat flour, and even from more exotic grains like quinoa or amaranth. Some noodles have eggs or spices or vegetable extracts or even squid ink in them. The variety is as endless as His wisdom is infinite. “All pastas” indeed!
Finally, I don’t need to find the “treu(sic) and only God,” for he has found me and touched me with His Noodly Appendage, so that I may have the gift of eternal happiness, in both this life and the hereafter. RAmen.
Yours Truly,
C. P. Huck
P.S. by “true and only God” I presume you meant Ahura Mazda, the one true god of the Zoroastarian faith. Please correct me if you meant otherwise.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
45 -
Liony Goodness -
Sep 24th, 2008
Let me be the first to say, get real, get a life and find the dictionary.
May you be touched by his noodly appendage. Maybe he will bless you with a dictionary for holiday (aka Friday).
Like or Dislike: 0 0
46 -
His Noodliness -
Sep 24th, 2008
I do not often reply to questions about my existence (well not on web-sites – I prefer appearing in some obscure form or other to some unbelievable cretin – good for a laugh) but I just could not resist this time.
I am the one “treu” god. Bask in my noodly goodness. May my juices flow upon you.
His Noodliness.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
47 -
Steve -
Sep 24th, 2008
What, no caps lock?
Have these people finally run out of caps lock thus being forced to resort to over punctuation instead?
Good to see that grammar and spelling haven’t improved though. Where would we be without our daily dose of ignorant invective?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
48 -
xlibobo -
Sep 24th, 2008
Pasta is made of wheat. Please attempt to be nicer in future.
Sometimes I get the feeling people writes only to read inteligent answers.
So I’m writing a stupid one:
whoever wins an award cannot be totally stupid so we should have qualified 2nd!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
52 -
Cardinal Linguine -
Sep 24th, 2008
The stupid awards …. Are they kind of like the oscars for religion?
ramen
Like or Dislike: 0 0
53 -
The One and Only Black Asgard -
Sep 24th, 2008
God is treu, and I like bleu cheese on muh saladz.
Which go well with pasta. So if God rhymes with my salad dressing, and salad is friends with pasta, God and the FSM must get together and play poka…
…and since the FSM is the True God of All Existence, he’s probably able to win poker even if he’s playing with sunday shopping coupons that all say “get one free”…which explains God’s painfully out of date wardrobe.
That’s right, your God played Strip Poker with my God…and bloody well lost!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
54 -
The Josh -
Sep 24th, 2008
First prize? Yea, we’re pretty competetive.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
55 -
Darwin’sMonkey -
Sep 24th, 2008
To all of you doubters that thought we wouldn’t get recognized for being anything…. we just slam dunked first frickin’ prize! Next stop.. the vatican and the academy awards, look out scientology.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
56 -
Darwin’sMonkey -
Sep 24th, 2008
Oh and also, you’ve seen some crazy shit in your life and THIS is the craziest?? Horrible fucking existence this guy has.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
57 -
Dom -
Sep 24th, 2008
“The treu and only God”
The FSM?
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58 -
Boy -
Sep 24th, 2008
During chemistry my teacher decided that this would be a good time to show us some alternative theory’s. I decided to have a look at some of this “hate mail”. They are brilliant, i have to say i have enjoyed every letter of these somewhat temperamentally spelled comments. These comments manage do a wonderful job of expressing the dramatic contrast between different people around these days.
Seriously, do these people not understand?
How is it possible in this modern world that so called “educated” people can respond to such a brilliant website in such a way?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
59 -
Fullback32 -
Sep 24th, 2008
It definitely depends on the pasta. Green pasta has spinich in it…red pasta has tomato it it, so I believe it is safe to assume that the FSM is not green or red as when He created the world he only made a mountain, some trees and a midgit. No mention of spinach or tomatoes. Now if there is a red FSM out there, then we would have to wonder if it could be the anti-FSM. Afterall, since Satan is often portrayed as wearing red pajamas, therefore red being a color of evil could cause speculation of this nature. However, since we have no revelation of a red FSM we must conclude that it does not exist. The red color that pasta is sometimes found in is simply there to remind us the sauce which covers us. Praise to his Noodleyness! RAmen.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
60 -
harddirt -
Sep 24th, 2008
De Wet? Is that your name? Are you still in diapers? That might help explain some of the spelling, and use of language.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
61 -
A Flemish Girl -
Sep 24th, 2008
I just love those hate mails. They make me smile :-)
“I ve seen some crazy shit in my life ….. but people actualy believing in this crap”
I rather believe in the goodness of his noodliness then another crap-story about a god who wants world domination. I don’t have problems with ppl who need a ‘god’, because mentaly they are not capable to cope with inexplicable things. But I do have a problem with ppl who are going to abuse other ppl because of it, built a very expensive cult around it, ppl who will prescribe other ppl how to behave and what to think, and I especially have a problem with ppl who don’t respect others because they do not want to be a part of something as foolish as a ‘religion’ or they do not ‘fit in’. The only thing that matters is r-e-s-p-e-c-t. For everybody, wether u are a boy or a girl, a christian child or muslim, a homosexual or an alien, a American, Europeen, Chinees or Iraqi. And for the rest I get instantly diarrhea whenever an insane religion freak comes to talk to me about “the one only true god”…
RAmen
(I’m sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes in it, English isn’t my native language)
Like or Dislike: 0 0
62 -
Vermicelli -
Sep 24th, 2008
Adam Treu is God? I mean he was a decent long snapper, but who knew?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
63 -
mentos -
Sep 24th, 2008
If one of you wants to know, he signed with “the law” in Dutch. Man I hate the people in my country sometimes.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
64 -
zinc alloy -
Sep 24th, 2008
To be honest I doubt Jesus would want anything to do with halfwits like De Wet.
Do you think he would want his heaven filled with morons?
I’ve heard from a good source Jesus personally thinks people like De Wet should go fuck themselves and stop giving him a bad name.
Jesus also believes in the FSM. May His Noodlyness be upon us.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
65 -
neal -
Sep 24th, 2008
You need to kill yourself, okay? Anyone who spells “treu” that way is not fit to pass on his or her genes to the next generation. We have enough problems with the country as it is today. We have elected a moron who let terrorist crash into our bigest buildings, lied a nation into going to war in the place where we knew he would never be, let an entire American city drown while his administation did nothing to help, and finally stood by while Wall Street gambled away everyone’s furture and our long term solvency, which we are graciously agreeing to fix buying up all their worthless paper with our worthwhile money.
You are the kind of person who would find this kind of performance acceptable, and would no doubt vote for its continuance, therefore, you need to shuffle off this mortal coil, so the rest of the good rational people of this land can salvage whatever remnant of a future we might have left for ourselves. And, if you have a problem with this message, go fuck yourself, Fenwick.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
66 -
anonymous -
Sep 24th, 2008
Fat Jesus(aka, the Jesus fat people pray to), has made it perfectly clear to several people that the FSM is his favorite version of the God story.
He’s both the treu and True God of all things, whether they be fat or not, and his existence is the only way to explain people with such bad spelling and grammar. If there was another explanation, then everybody would believe it, but since that’s not to case, you shall simply have to gain approximately 200 pounds(note: pasta will help you, it’s your friend), then pray to your Jesus, and he will gladly explain the truth of the FSM. If this fails to work, gain about 800 more and try again. Surely if you’re a devout believer in Jesus’ message, you will stop at nothing to hear the words of Fat Jesus to confirm that the FSM is the almightiest among equals. I can guarantee that you will hear the gospel truth from Fat Jesus if you will simply follow the above instructions.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
67 -
Ex-Captain Etay -
Sep 24th, 2008
Holy shit funky spelling.
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68 -
KatieBug -
Sep 24th, 2008
Wouldn’t it be nice if just once someone posted a complaint that wasn’t rude, ignorant, or completely illiterate?
Alas, it seems the day will never come.
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
69 -
Bx 32 -
Sep 24th, 2008
So have I, it’s called this retarded hate mail. Get an editor, some intelligence, some valid evidence, and a better name, then we might consider taking an honest attempt at not shoving the actual evidence in your face and making fun of your mother.
Oh, by the way; your mother is ugly.
RAmen Mateys!
Like or Dislike: 0 0
70 -
JoshM -
Sep 24th, 2008
All aboard the failboat! Sorry De Wet, looks like your the only one getting on. How about picking up a dictionary in the ships gift shop.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
71 -
jeremykeys -
Sep 24th, 2008
@ Nuhudollo #10
The hate mail does not come from one person. It just sort of appears that way. Bobby Henderson publishes it. He’s the great founder of this magnificent web-site and religion. He receives the hate-mail at sends it to this area for us to peruse and respond to.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
72 -
Marcus Aurelius -
Sep 24th, 2008
I don’t know of there is any words, but the 1 street prize is a high award indeed! I think the treu and only is a bleu cheese dressing, by the way. Totally different. Pasta is wheat, not cheese. And by the way, an ellipsis requires neither a space or four dots. I can show you the correct way…See?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
73 -
juan -
Sep 24th, 2008
Hi everyone, i didn’t find where to send my own hate mail or normal mail so im going to talk here, its more like a question or an obvservation.
I found this really funny because it is as legitimate as any other religion, so i thought you were doing it as a way to show how stupid religions are. But then, i also think that there are some really weak-minded people, as weak-minded as any other biliever, that might have had taken this seriously, and that could be “dangerous”. Weak-minded people are too susceptible to the power of fantasy and delusion.
So, i was wandering, do you guys really think this for real?
Because it seems like some of you do.(For me it would be as bad as any other devote to any other religion, dont feel discriminated)
I hope you do this to only piss religious people off.
And i really hope that if some of you guys tell me that you really bilieve in the Flying Spagethi Monster, it is only to preserve your masquerade of good sarcasm and mockery. (For me it would be as bad as any other devote to any other religion, dont feel discriminated)
If it was mean im sorry, i dont like to make people feel bad.
Its just that i think all would be better if people opened their minds to knowledge and facts, rather than fantasies.
Bye everyone, i will be happy to read any complaint or anything.
A respectful atheist.
PD.I found the “contact me” link but i think that this is faster and i make sure that it gets posted.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
74 -
Mike -
Sep 25th, 2008
It used to be said that atheism was only for intellectuals and I am starting to believe it.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
75 -
Fliegenden Nudeln -
Sep 25th, 2008
I found Him..The Treu and Only God!!!! He was out there about three billion light years away, intelligently designing a couple of new nebulae. When I told Him I had been sent by De Wet to find Him, He said, “Tell De Wet to piss off and get a real life.”
Like or Dislike: 0 0
76 -
midget_in_pirate_regalia -
Sep 25th, 2008
Action alert! The AFA is calling on all religious leaders to make sure that their congregations are aware of pollitical issues and intend to vote. I think it’s our duty to join in. I’ve already signed the Church of FSM-Milwaukee up. Take the pledge!
Whoever is admining this: I’m a bit curious as to why my comment is still awaiting moderation after some 9 hours, when other comments have been posted. This has happened before. Have I somehow transgressed against a rule or something?
Like or Dislike: 0 0
78 -
orangechicken -
Sep 25th, 2008
I will try to find the “treu and only God”, since “treu” and “bleu” are similar, i’m going to assume you worship a chunk of bleu cheese. Therefore, my first instinct is to look in the refridgerator. Luckily, to find my FSM, all I have to do is look in my pantry. Perhaps, before you post any more comments to a website, you should put your comment into Microsoft Word, it has a wonderful device called a “Spell Check”. It even corrects grammar mistakes! Yay learning! Oh, and pasta is made of wheat (with filler ingrediants), and I believe “s” to be a letter from the American alphabet.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
79 -
VioletSwing -
Sep 25th, 2008
“do you people even know what all pasta s are made of please go look that up and explain that one to me”
Do you know what your supposed god is made of?
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80 -
David Bell -
Sep 26th, 2008
Hey De Wet,
hook, line and sinker baby. And the line is made of pasta.
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81 -
Cooper Gooding Jnr.-san -
Sep 26th, 2008
I like hate male De Wet。And very much number 7 comment Scotty B for crackers being body of Christ-san。Must say even now, wine being blood of Hey-Zeus left right out sadly。 Unfortunate for all, due to Confusian can’t get to roll all into so funny pasta joke for friend De Wet-san being some dumb cracker。 Anyhow, would probary lose much in translation。
Actually, this all silly mis-understanding easily settle you。Should be now metaphysical bake off between noob Westside-crackers and old school Eastside-noodles。 Guest umpire is none other than great Chairman Kaga from Ironmen of Cooking 料理の鉄人(Ryōri no Tetsujin, or Iron Chef to you round eye dogs)。 Very happy good night。
RAmen desu, 拉麺です。
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Advantageous Mongoose -
Sep 26th, 2008
“I ve seen some crazy shit in my life…”
“get a life and find The treu and only God”
- not much of an advert for finding god is it? Unless you actually like crazy shit in your life.
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DeepThorn -
Sep 26th, 2008
I will be happy to accept this prize on behalf of FSM. While most of us are very educated, unlike this guy that can not spell true, we will accept it, and would be happy to be able to hand it back to the giver of the award since, of course, he did spell the word true incorrectly.
I am not saying you have to use spell check all of the time, but at least spell basic 2-5 letter words correctly.
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Capn Tayth -
Sep 26th, 2008
Oh yay, a stupid award!
Will go nice with my get-a-life awards and find-jesus-he-loves-you award
Honestly…
Pastaleluia!
Well, maybe not…
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85 -
VoltAaarrrrgh -
Sep 26th, 2008
I’m guessing a spell checker qualifies as crazy shit you Haven’t seen.
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86 -
Fliegenden Nudeln -
Sep 26th, 2008
P.S. De Wet, as I told you earlier (#75), I found the Treu and Only God far out in space constructing a couple of new nebulae. I asked Him whether He used Intelligent Design in His creations on earth. He snorted and said, “Intelligent Design my Ass, take a look around back there. How could anyone think any intelligence went into constructing that mess? One of my students did it for a term project. I flunked his ass. He wasted way more than 6,000 years fucking up that planet.”
Blessings,
Fliegenden Nudeln
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Vikki from the UK -
Sep 27th, 2008
I am a recent believer, I now talk about His Noodlyness all day at school. (Although none of my friends have been touched by Noodly Appendages.) I never believed in God, or Allah, or anyone else, ’til I found FSM. I love this website, and am about to favourite it and show it to my friends, hoping to turn them to His Noodlyness. Those of you who believe in other ‘gods’, shut up and leave us alone!
Sauce be on Him,
Vikki
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88 -
putanesca -
Sep 27th, 2008
It is a well known fact, to those that know it, that we all make typos and I’ve come across plenty in the forums.
Therefore the FSM, in His infinite wisdom, gave us spelling checkers. Unlike DeepThorn (post #83) I think we owe it to Him to use them at all times.
It would, after all, be a great shame if one of our hate mailers actually knew how to spell and accused us of hypocrisy.
——————————–
Pasta – You know it makes lunch.
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Oli -
Sep 27th, 2008
I ve seen some crazy shit in my life …..[This should be a single comma] but people actualy [there's two l's in actually] believing in this crap.[There should be a space here]you [capital letter!] guys got 1 st prize @ the stupid awards!!!![one exclamation mark will suffice] futher [its spelt fuRther, and you probably wanted to use the word 'furthermore', which would be followed by a comma]do you people even know what all pasta s [the 's' is not necessary] are ['are' should be is] made of [question mark here] please [yet another capital letter] go [and] look that up and explain that one to me ……. [a colon would be much better than two ellipses] there is [are] no words to describe just how stupid all this is !!!!! get real [comma] get a life [possible comma] and find The treu [spelt true] and only God
-De Wet
To quote; “there is no words to describe just how stupid all this is” I am not bothered by bad spelling and grammar, but if you insist on calling others stupid with these kind of errors…!
And can you explain your God to me? Because I looked it up as well as pasta, and apparently your God is less real than mine!
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didi -
Sep 27th, 2008
@Juan #73
The most are atheist just like you and indeed we’re doing it just to show how stupid religions are and to piss ‘believers’ off. This religion is just a nice and humoristic way to bound and have a laugh, a cold beer and a tasteful plate of pasta.
pasta 2 y’ll,
RAmen
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91 -
The Mighty Meatball -
Sep 29th, 2008
I’ve seen some crazy shit in my life too.
I went to church.
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92 -
Lucifer -
Sep 29th, 2008
@juan #73
Dear Juan:
Have no fear, Lucifer is here. You should be worried about the damage done to the world by the other religions. As far as I can see, nobody has died in the name of this satire. More people have died in the name of god, than for any other reason in the world.
I always come here to have a good laugh and see how stupid religious people can be.
The following thought was posted on this site some time ago and it had me laughing for days.
Your atheist friend,
Lucifer
Christianity – The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree…
Yeah, makes perfect sense…
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Lucifer -
Sep 29th, 2008
Dear De Wet: You are not “the law” You sound more like the shit to me.
I almost forgot to respond to your comical and moronic letter. Your god must be the one and only “treu” god. That is unbelievable dude. I think you convinced me, I am converting back to the one and only Treu Treu Treu Treu Treu God.
You behave kid. For you know what happens when Christians misbehave.
I will be waiting for you down here.
Lucifer
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mimmelit -
Sep 30th, 2008
I am deeply concerned. I swear I have seen HIM but He looked more like Ziti.
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95 -
Mo Ronic -
Oct 1st, 2008
God created all life and that is scientific FACT!
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96 -
trisbruce -
Oct 1st, 2008
Reply to MoRonic (aptly named) post#95
No, the idea that “god” created life is a legendary fantasy and the fruit of a primitive non-evolved and non-scientific mentality!
Scientists actuially say life evolved from primitive non-organic chemical compounds in a primordial ocean usually called the “chemical soup”.
Read up about it some time! It’s so much more interesting than silly tales about an old codger with a beard messing around with bits of clay!
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Meisha -
Oct 1st, 2008
Crazy? Us crazy?
We don’t believe in talking snakes, people who made frogs rain down on Egypt, people who die and then come back as a Zombie King to forgive you of your sins, that one day said Zombie King would return and only take 144,000 people back with him, the pre-zombie’s mother remained a virgin for the rest of her life, that a thirty-three-year-old Jewish man was unmarried and celibate, and that if you don’t obey the word of the God represented in a book that was written by men looking to control the world that you would go to a place called hell and be in eternal pain.
Now THAT’S crazy.
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Gordon -
Oct 1st, 2008
If you can’t even spell true right, then I weep for you sir.
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99 -
Pastopia -
Oct 3rd, 2008
the stupid awards!!!!
thats imaginative
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100 -
Lyz -
Oct 4th, 2008
if you ask me, I think you should go fuck yourself and stop shoving your Jesus down our throats, and if you hate us so much, why do you bother so much time critisizing us and telling us how stupid we are?
Maybe your the wrong one, at least we don’t go door to door, preaching our religion, handing out pamphlets to anyone who will take them.
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101 -
brinona -
Oct 7th, 2008
You would have to have a sense of humor to recognize satire when you see it.
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102 -
haha -
Oct 9th, 2008
haha you missspelled true……
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103 -
Landlubber -
Oct 13th, 2008
There are stupid awards? How is it that De Wet knows about them and I haven’t… ohhh…
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104 -
Eloka -
Oct 15th, 2008
FSM monster seems no more idiotic than a invisible man in the sky!
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105 -
The Siz -
Nov 5th, 2008
Take this idea.
God is non-existent. The FSM is made of wheat and meat-based products, whereas God is made of nothing. Last time I tried to eat nothing, I felt empty. When I ate spaghetti and meatballs, hey presto, I was filled.
This simple yet effective analogy should make sure that your “Treu and only God” doesn’t actually exist.
Neither do the “Stupid Awards”, actally.
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106 -
Pasta tecum sit -
Nov 8th, 2008
“The treu and only God”? I’ll assume you mean the Christian Gods. Yes, that’s right. Gods. In Genesis, in the original Hebrew, the plural form “Elohim” – Gods – instead of the singular, “El”, is used. So the opening sentence of the Bible should read “In the beginning, the Gods created Heaven and Earth.” Perhaps you’d like to re-evaluate your opinion of the “treu and ONLY God”.
May you be touched by His noodly appendage and come to the light.
RAmen.
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107 -
bob -
Nov 12th, 2008
yo
this is some crazy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!
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108 -
JDC -
Nov 21st, 2008
I love how christians come onto to this site and claim our noodly lord is a load of crap!
Have you not looked at your religion recently?
You think you can walk on water and part seas and raise from the dead…
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109 -
The Impaler -
Dec 1st, 2008
Dear De Wet
The FSM is no more silly than the story of a man born of a virgin who is (one part of three of) the one god who walked on water and cured lepers and then died in the most amazingly grotesque fashion just to get our attention so that we would stand in awe at the violence he was capable of doing to himself. If you like that kinda shit, I have a couple of porn sites I can recommend to ya.
The FSM is definitely less silly than the idea of creationism. Get stuffed.
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110 -
Can You Beleive Some People? -
Dec 3rd, 2008
another one for the trash can, to stupid to even explain to
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111 -
Boarg -
Dec 4th, 2008
I think the lack of basic ability in spelling and grammar that is a recurring feature of our learned Christian friends’ correspondence should be made known far and wide. If anything would help convince parents not to send their kids to religious schools then this is it.
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112 -
Garrett -
Dec 4th, 2008
You know. I really have to wonder, Bobby, do you pick all of the idiotic hate mail? Or is the Christian society have this loose of a grip on the concept of editing.
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113 -
Garrett -
Dec 4th, 2008
Oh, and forgive my typo. The irony…….
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114 -
ponedonkey -
Jan 14th, 2009
@Pasta tecum sit
‘Elohim’
Oh Snap!
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115 -
ObscurePasta -
Jan 19th, 2009
Oh I was just going to say that you obviously don’t check things or are rather blind, but then I noticed you were a Christian, so I guess its just more of the Christian hatemail…
I wonder why do we never get hatemail from Jews.. or Muslims?
RAmen
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116 -
Alexis -
Mar 27th, 2009
Good site, admin.
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117 -
r4m3nzor -
May 9th, 2009
have you seen christianity?
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118 -
Kelseydubya -
Oct 25th, 2009
Hahaha! Atleast we didnt just insult the other religions in the world! “The treu and only God”? You arent the only religion. I do believe your religion was “made up” from people many years ago, from the things they believe. So are we forced to live unhappy and worship a God we dont believe? God is God! (our god is way cooler though)
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Troll much?
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Dear De Wet,
Just so you will know, I looked up “Pasta” in Wikipedia. Here is what I found, “Pasta (Italian for “dough”) is a generic term for Italian variants of noodles, food made from a dough of flour, water and/or eggs, that is boiled.” Now, don’t you feel better?
As for your exhortation to find “The treu and only God,” I am not interested in that because I have found the TRUE God, the FSM.
RAmen
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See comments to all other Hate Mails.
(by the looks of it, it seems this guy is Dutch – too bad. I am too.)
.
I’m always curious about this ‘only’ god. That would mean that these people have the only right to the truth. So what proof do they have? None.
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Sweet! First prize!
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Yeah…we do know what it is made of: flour, egg, salt and noodley goodness. What’s your god made of?
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Well “De wet”,
It happens to be that “pasta s”[sic] are made of “The treu and only God”[sic], so I think most of us here have followed your request quite promptly.
Have a nice day
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Seriously? Is De Wet aware that many Christians believe that a cracker is literally the body of Christ?
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Your letter demonstrates clearly that you have indeed seen some crazy shit in your life. Now, take a wild guess as to what that may be!
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I love to start my day with a nice glass of attempted insults from a spelling-and-grammar-and-punctuation-challenged cretin. Please, if you’re going to attempt to insult us, take the time to read the Open Letter, and try to understand what it tells you about our philosophy. Open a dictionary, and brush up on the definition of satire. While you’re at it, you might want to check out the definition of science, too.
Just to clarify a few of your bizarre misperceptions –
I am real
I have a life, else how would I feel that pain? Or type this?
In order to find the “treu and only God”, there would have to be an actual word “treu”. There would also have to be an actual god. As soon as you can come up with some proof of these things, I’ll consider climbing on the bandwagon, but I’m not going to be holding my breath. Meanwhile, might I suggest you consider a remedial course in basic English skills.
RAmen
ET
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Oh dear; first let me appologise for all the people that will point out your spelling is attrocious. It’s rather easy to insult your intelligence based on poor spelling.
Much more important is to look at your points. Oh, you made none. Now THAT shows you’re the true winner of the stupid awards.
PS Pasta us made from a variety of materials, most commonly Durham wheat but occasionally othercrops (such as corn, pulses etc), especially pastas for those who have gluten free diets.
PPS Religions claiming to have the true and only God usually assume he/she/it is not made of any observable material which is even more rediculous.
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I agree. All those people out there believing silly stuff. I mean, there is a group out there who believes that by taking all their churches expensive ’self improvement’ classes, they can get rid of the evil spirits of dead aliens who are hanging on to them and giving them bad luck! And don’t even start me on the crazy Jesus cult.
Yes. Everyone should switch to the one ‘treu’ God, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
P.S.: Lame troll. Aside from a few spelling mistakes, and inappropriate punctuation, it’s more or less coherent. 4/10
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get real get a life and find The treu and only God
The one who can spell?
RAmen
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All the Hate Mail DOES come from one single guy, does it?
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I ve seen some crazy shit in my life ….. but people actualy believing in this crap. You guys got 1 st prize @ the stupid awards!!!! futher do you people even know people live only about 80 years? How could a guy who created the universe still be around……. there is no words to describe just how stupid all this is !!!!! get real get a life and find The treu and only God; The Flying Spaggheti monster.
Ramen.
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Which one is the treu (sic) and only god again? Buddha? Krishna? Zeus? Allah? Yahweh? Wendigo?
Please provide proof for your assertion. And a book whose author is unverified is not proof. We have a book, and the author IS verified. Therefore we win.
And we do know what pasta is made of. But that’s just earthly pasta, a pale simulacrum of his noodliness. We do the best we can.
And, as an aside, we’re still batting .000 for the ability of you nuts to express yourselves coherently and back up anything you assert.
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Now that’s comedy!
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I’d like to apologise for my spelling in my earlier comment, mainly typos and a dodgy space bar
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Oh boy! 1st prize @ the stupid awards!!!! Finally, we can be taken seriously as a religion.
Pasta is made of pure happiness and joy. Go ahead and look it up on the package of your spaghetti noodles.
Ingredients: happiness (pure), joy (pure).
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Wow. You’ve got number 20 on my own personal “list o’ stupid people”. ;)
Learn to spell, please. :P
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Well, the Treu god is made up out of someone’s imagination. At least I can taste mine.
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Your a damn jew!
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Because of your persuasive arguments, I’d have no choice but to join your religion. However, I’m afraid my average grammar, punctuation and spelling skills would disqualify me.
If I should suffer some brain damage and become hate-filled, though, I’ll be right with you!
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And which god would you be talking about? I mean, there’s plenty of religions (past and present) that have gods, so which specific one are you talking about?
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“futher”…”actualy”…”treu”…”there is no words”
Exactly what language are you speaking? No, De Wet, don’t go away. Come back! I need to know what teacher failed you so miserably!
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Crazy shit? Crazy shit for the FSM.
Stupid? Stupid for the FSM.
rAmen
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I’m getting to the point where I could accept the teaching of creationism in school; on the condition that the students had to reach a basic standard of literacy first.
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“I ve seen some crazy shit in my life …..”
-You mean every Sunday?
“but people actualy believing in this crap”
-Yes, they do.
“you guys got 1 st prize @ the stupid awards!!!!”
-If that’s the wish of his noodlyness
“futher do you people even know what all pasta s are made of please go look that up and explain that one to me …….”
-Perhaps you are looking for this – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasta
“there is no words to describe just how stupid all this is !!!!!”
-Yes,… isn’t it amazing how it always is somewhat less stupid than what most people believe? :) Praise our noodly master!
“get real”
-Check
“get a life”
-Check
“and find The treu and only God”
-Check (I assume treu means true)
Now why don’t you go ahead and try the same with yourself.
Fear not, the holy FSM is the most forgiving and you’ll soon be touched by his noodly appendage and may the wisdom blessed unto thee.
RAmen!
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Thank God! Someone with some sense, finally! You’re right of course. These people are all crazy. A God made of Spaghetti? Ridiculous!
He’s made of Fussili. Obviously.
“…but people actually believe in this crap.” Hmmmm, Magic Jewish sky Zombies, talking bushes, a “loving God” that kills over 2 million people (read the bible), and if he’s so loving, why is everyone so scared of incurring his wrath? The Father, The Son AND Holy Spirit? ONE true God, I’m sorry, which one?
And, for the record, we all know what pasta is made of. But how do you know it wasn’t created in His image? Is it in your bible somewhere? “Whoeth ever sayeth the pasta iseth divine, musteth be casteth outeth” I’m paraphrasing of course.
Dude, srsly. Get a clue. Learn to spell.
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I already found the TRUE (not treu) and only god, and he’s a FSM.
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Not buying it.
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Why can’t these boobs spell?
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It’s Satire. You don’t think Swift actually wanted to eat babies, do you?
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We win the 1st prize at the Stupid Awards? Wow. I thought that every year you christians (I am guessing. If you are of any other religion, I apologize) wrap up every single award. Wow, this is a first. YAY! Go Pastafarianism!
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“Blessed are the ignorant, illiterate and grammatically challenged, for they shall inherit the…. uh.. the.. Ahhhhhh, fuck ‘em They’re not getting anything.”
signed,
god and the baby jesus
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Oh, the mutiny of his grammar!
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Pasta is made of wheat, primarily.
I’d like the thank the FSM (for my new prize!) YAY!
There is no words to describe poor grammar. ARE.
Yes, the true god is made of pasta!
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Been there. Done that. Pasta is usually made from wheat flour although you can also get rice pasta. As for the one true god. which one out of thousands is that? I’m glad we got your attention but it would help if you could just be a bit more specific. As far as I know the FSM is the one true God but he’s pretty laid back so you might not have noticed. Talking about crazy shit, have you heard about the people that actually believe there’s a God that is so self centred and nasty that if you don’t believe in him and follow his rules he’ll condemn you to eternity in a flaming pit? That’s insane! This God, who many people believe created the universe apparently does this out of love. It begs the question: why would anyone want to follow this sick and twisted religion? Their priests probably have a history of having sex with little boys. It wouldn’t surprise me at all. Why I bet they even beg and scam people for money. They probably spend utter millions on churches while people are starving to death. Can you imagine? I have to wonder just what kind of idiot believes this nonsense? Oh yeah, they also think that this God created the universe only about 6,000 or so years ago. Insane I tell you. Every scrap of evidence tells us otherwise but still some people think this is true. They even have a talking snake in their story. Right. I sincerely hope I never meet any of these weirdos because they are probably violent. They probably even shoot people and think they’re doing the right thing in the name of their God. I’ll stick with the FSM. Spaghetti and beer make much more sense then that silliness.
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Who cares what pasta is made of? Have you no concept of faith? Why must you question the genetic composition of our Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster? Did he not create you, and me, and everyone else? Show respect to the one true Flying Spaghetti Monster – sauce be upon him – and stop worshipping false gods.
RAmen.
(Recent convert)
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Why, just why? Also, please use spell check. Thank you.
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No just god would allow you to exist unless he had a raging hardon for spiting people like me.
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You spelled true wrong.
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Arroha, De Wet…your requests for me (&, perhaps, the rest of “us” on this site) are…..DENIED..
1) “get real..” worshipping the FSM ISN’T real? who knew?
2) “get a life..” nahh, yez always ends up dying in the end (altho, the strippers & beer volcano are pretty good compensations for being discarnated)
3) “find The…..” YOU find he/she/they/whatever..it’s not my day to watch ‘em!
may ya be TBHNA (before the spelling/grammar/politeness police come knocking on your door)..
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In the interest of keeping my standards for the human race, I believe this is fake.
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First of all, if I was going to win first prize at the stupid awards I would give up all conventions of capitalization, punctuation, and subject/verb agreement, just as you seem to have done De Wet. At least you didn’t butcher the difference between your and you’re, as so many other posters who have come to save us seem to enjoy doing. His Noodliness DESPISES bad grammar and in all likelihood you shall be smitten.
Second of all, you ask “do you people even know what all pasta s(sic) are made of?” How dare you? I mean HOW DARE YOU?! ALL pastas are not made of the same things. There are your basic pasta made from semolina flour, but there are also noodles made from rice flour, whole wheat flour, and even from more exotic grains like quinoa or amaranth. Some noodles have eggs or spices or vegetable extracts or even squid ink in them. The variety is as endless as His wisdom is infinite. “All pastas” indeed!
Finally, I don’t need to find the “treu(sic) and only God,” for he has found me and touched me with His Noodly Appendage, so that I may have the gift of eternal happiness, in both this life and the hereafter. RAmen.
Yours Truly,
C. P. Huck
P.S. by “true and only God” I presume you meant Ahura Mazda, the one true god of the Zoroastarian faith. Please correct me if you meant otherwise.
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Let me be the first to say, get real, get a life and find the dictionary.
May you be touched by his noodly appendage. Maybe he will bless you with a dictionary for holiday (aka Friday).
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I do not often reply to questions about my existence (well not on web-sites – I prefer appearing in some obscure form or other to some unbelievable cretin – good for a laugh) but I just could not resist this time.
I am the one “treu” god. Bask in my noodly goodness. May my juices flow upon you.
His Noodliness.
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What, no caps lock?
Have these people finally run out of caps lock thus being forced to resort to over punctuation instead?
Good to see that grammar and spelling haven’t improved though. Where would we be without our daily dose of ignorant invective?
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Pasta is made of wheat. Please attempt to be nicer in future.
RAmen
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http://mypage.direct.ca/w/writer/bible.html
If we’re weird, defend this crap.
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Mmmm, treu cheese.
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Sometimes I get the feeling people writes only to read inteligent answers.
So I’m writing a stupid one:
whoever wins an award cannot be totally stupid so we should have qualified 2nd!
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The stupid awards …. Are they kind of like the oscars for religion?
ramen
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God is treu, and I like bleu cheese on muh saladz.
Which go well with pasta. So if God rhymes with my salad dressing, and salad is friends with pasta, God and the FSM must get together and play poka…
…and since the FSM is the True God of All Existence, he’s probably able to win poker even if he’s playing with sunday shopping coupons that all say “get one free”…which explains God’s painfully out of date wardrobe.
That’s right, your God played Strip Poker with my God…and bloody well lost!
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First prize? Yea, we’re pretty competetive.
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To all of you doubters that thought we wouldn’t get recognized for being anything…. we just slam dunked first frickin’ prize! Next stop.. the vatican and the academy awards, look out scientology.
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Oh and also, you’ve seen some crazy shit in your life and THIS is the craziest?? Horrible fucking existence this guy has.
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“The treu and only God”
The FSM?
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During chemistry my teacher decided that this would be a good time to show us some alternative theory’s. I decided to have a look at some of this “hate mail”. They are brilliant, i have to say i have enjoyed every letter of these somewhat temperamentally spelled comments. These comments manage do a wonderful job of expressing the dramatic contrast between different people around these days.
Seriously, do these people not understand?
How is it possible in this modern world that so called “educated” people can respond to such a brilliant website in such a way?
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It definitely depends on the pasta. Green pasta has spinich in it…red pasta has tomato it it, so I believe it is safe to assume that the FSM is not green or red as when He created the world he only made a mountain, some trees and a midgit. No mention of spinach or tomatoes. Now if there is a red FSM out there, then we would have to wonder if it could be the anti-FSM. Afterall, since Satan is often portrayed as wearing red pajamas, therefore red being a color of evil could cause speculation of this nature. However, since we have no revelation of a red FSM we must conclude that it does not exist. The red color that pasta is sometimes found in is simply there to remind us the sauce which covers us. Praise to his Noodleyness! RAmen.
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De Wet? Is that your name? Are you still in diapers? That might help explain some of the spelling, and use of language.
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I just love those hate mails. They make me smile :-)
“I ve seen some crazy shit in my life ….. but people actualy believing in this crap”
I rather believe in the goodness of his noodliness then another crap-story about a god who wants world domination. I don’t have problems with ppl who need a ‘god’, because mentaly they are not capable to cope with inexplicable things. But I do have a problem with ppl who are going to abuse other ppl because of it, built a very expensive cult around it, ppl who will prescribe other ppl how to behave and what to think, and I especially have a problem with ppl who don’t respect others because they do not want to be a part of something as foolish as a ‘religion’ or they do not ‘fit in’. The only thing that matters is r-e-s-p-e-c-t. For everybody, wether u are a boy or a girl, a christian child or muslim, a homosexual or an alien, a American, Europeen, Chinees or Iraqi. And for the rest I get instantly diarrhea whenever an insane religion freak comes to talk to me about “the one only true god”…
RAmen
(I’m sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes in it, English isn’t my native language)
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Adam Treu is God? I mean he was a decent long snapper, but who knew?
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If one of you wants to know, he signed with “the law” in Dutch. Man I hate the people in my country sometimes.
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To be honest I doubt Jesus would want anything to do with halfwits like De Wet.
Do you think he would want his heaven filled with morons?
I’ve heard from a good source Jesus personally thinks people like De Wet should go fuck themselves and stop giving him a bad name.
Jesus also believes in the FSM. May His Noodlyness be upon us.
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You need to kill yourself, okay? Anyone who spells “treu” that way is not fit to pass on his or her genes to the next generation. We have enough problems with the country as it is today. We have elected a moron who let terrorist crash into our bigest buildings, lied a nation into going to war in the place where we knew he would never be, let an entire American city drown while his administation did nothing to help, and finally stood by while Wall Street gambled away everyone’s furture and our long term solvency, which we are graciously agreeing to fix buying up all their worthless paper with our worthwhile money.
You are the kind of person who would find this kind of performance acceptable, and would no doubt vote for its continuance, therefore, you need to shuffle off this mortal coil, so the rest of the good rational people of this land can salvage whatever remnant of a future we might have left for ourselves. And, if you have a problem with this message, go fuck yourself, Fenwick.
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Fat Jesus(aka, the Jesus fat people pray to), has made it perfectly clear to several people that the FSM is his favorite version of the God story.
He’s both the treu and True God of all things, whether they be fat or not, and his existence is the only way to explain people with such bad spelling and grammar. If there was another explanation, then everybody would believe it, but since that’s not to case, you shall simply have to gain approximately 200 pounds(note: pasta will help you, it’s your friend), then pray to your Jesus, and he will gladly explain the truth of the FSM. If this fails to work, gain about 800 more and try again. Surely if you’re a devout believer in Jesus’ message, you will stop at nothing to hear the words of Fat Jesus to confirm that the FSM is the almightiest among equals. I can guarantee that you will hear the gospel truth from Fat Jesus if you will simply follow the above instructions.
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Holy shit funky spelling.
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Wouldn’t it be nice if just once someone posted a complaint that wasn’t rude, ignorant, or completely illiterate?
Alas, it seems the day will never come.
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen.
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So have I, it’s called this retarded hate mail. Get an editor, some intelligence, some valid evidence, and a better name, then we might consider taking an honest attempt at not shoving the actual evidence in your face and making fun of your mother.
Oh, by the way; your mother is ugly.
RAmen Mateys!
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All aboard the failboat! Sorry De Wet, looks like your the only one getting on. How about picking up a dictionary in the ships gift shop.
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@ Nuhudollo #10
The hate mail does not come from one person. It just sort of appears that way. Bobby Henderson publishes it. He’s the great founder of this magnificent web-site and religion. He receives the hate-mail at sends it to this area for us to peruse and respond to.
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I don’t know of there is any words, but the 1 street prize is a high award indeed! I think the treu and only is a bleu cheese dressing, by the way. Totally different. Pasta is wheat, not cheese. And by the way, an ellipsis requires neither a space or four dots. I can show you the correct way…See?
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Hi everyone, i didn’t find where to send my own hate mail or normal mail so im going to talk here, its more like a question or an obvservation.
I found this really funny because it is as legitimate as any other religion, so i thought you were doing it as a way to show how stupid religions are. But then, i also think that there are some really weak-minded people, as weak-minded as any other biliever, that might have had taken this seriously, and that could be “dangerous”. Weak-minded people are too susceptible to the power of fantasy and delusion.
So, i was wandering, do you guys really think this for real?
Because it seems like some of you do.(For me it would be as bad as any other devote to any other religion, dont feel discriminated)
I hope you do this to only piss religious people off.
And i really hope that if some of you guys tell me that you really bilieve in the Flying Spagethi Monster, it is only to preserve your masquerade of good sarcasm and mockery. (For me it would be as bad as any other devote to any other religion, dont feel discriminated)
If it was mean im sorry, i dont like to make people feel bad.
Its just that i think all would be better if people opened their minds to knowledge and facts, rather than fantasies.
Bye everyone, i will be happy to read any complaint or anything.
A respectful atheist.
PD.I found the “contact me” link but i think that this is faster and i make sure that it gets posted.
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It used to be said that atheism was only for intellectuals and I am starting to believe it.
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I found Him..The Treu and Only God!!!! He was out there about three billion light years away, intelligently designing a couple of new nebulae. When I told Him I had been sent by De Wet to find Him, He said, “Tell De Wet to piss off and get a real life.”
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Action alert! The AFA is calling on all religious leaders to make sure that their congregations are aware of pollitical issues and intend to vote. I think it’s our duty to join in. I’ve already signed the Church of FSM-Milwaukee up. Take the pledge!
http://www.afa.net/pastorspledge/
Gonna post this at the forums too.
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Whoever is admining this: I’m a bit curious as to why my comment is still awaiting moderation after some 9 hours, when other comments have been posted. This has happened before. Have I somehow transgressed against a rule or something?
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I will try to find the “treu and only God”, since “treu” and “bleu” are similar, i’m going to assume you worship a chunk of bleu cheese. Therefore, my first instinct is to look in the refridgerator. Luckily, to find my FSM, all I have to do is look in my pantry. Perhaps, before you post any more comments to a website, you should put your comment into Microsoft Word, it has a wonderful device called a “Spell Check”. It even corrects grammar mistakes! Yay learning! Oh, and pasta is made of wheat (with filler ingrediants), and I believe “s” to be a letter from the American alphabet.
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“do you people even know what all pasta s are made of please go look that up and explain that one to me”
Do you know what your supposed god is made of?
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Hey De Wet,
hook, line and sinker baby. And the line is made of pasta.
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I like hate male De Wet。And very much number 7 comment Scotty B for crackers being body of Christ-san。Must say even now, wine being blood of Hey-Zeus left right out sadly。 Unfortunate for all, due to Confusian can’t get to roll all into so funny pasta joke for friend De Wet-san being some dumb cracker。 Anyhow, would probary lose much in translation。
Actually, this all silly mis-understanding easily settle you。Should be now metaphysical bake off between noob Westside-crackers and old school Eastside-noodles。 Guest umpire is none other than great Chairman Kaga from Ironmen of Cooking 料理の鉄人(Ryōri no Tetsujin, or Iron Chef to you round eye dogs)。 Very happy good night。
RAmen desu, 拉麺です。
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“I ve seen some crazy shit in my life…”
“get a life and find The treu and only God”
- not much of an advert for finding god is it? Unless you actually like crazy shit in your life.
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I will be happy to accept this prize on behalf of FSM. While most of us are very educated, unlike this guy that can not spell true, we will accept it, and would be happy to be able to hand it back to the giver of the award since, of course, he did spell the word true incorrectly.
I am not saying you have to use spell check all of the time, but at least spell basic 2-5 letter words correctly.
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Oh yay, a stupid award!
Will go nice with my get-a-life awards and find-jesus-he-loves-you award
Honestly…
Pastaleluia!
Well, maybe not…
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I’m guessing a spell checker qualifies as crazy shit you Haven’t seen.
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P.S. De Wet, as I told you earlier (#75), I found the Treu and Only God far out in space constructing a couple of new nebulae. I asked Him whether He used Intelligent Design in His creations on earth. He snorted and said, “Intelligent Design my Ass, take a look around back there. How could anyone think any intelligence went into constructing that mess? One of my students did it for a term project. I flunked his ass. He wasted way more than 6,000 years fucking up that planet.”
Blessings,
Fliegenden Nudeln
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I am a recent believer, I now talk about His Noodlyness all day at school. (Although none of my friends have been touched by Noodly Appendages.) I never believed in God, or Allah, or anyone else, ’til I found FSM. I love this website, and am about to favourite it and show it to my friends, hoping to turn them to His Noodlyness. Those of you who believe in other ‘gods’, shut up and leave us alone!
Sauce be on Him,
Vikki
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It is a well known fact, to those that know it, that we all make typos and I’ve come across plenty in the forums.
Therefore the FSM, in His infinite wisdom, gave us spelling checkers. Unlike DeepThorn (post #83) I think we owe it to Him to use them at all times.
It would, after all, be a great shame if one of our hate mailers actually knew how to spell and accused us of hypocrisy.
——————————–
Pasta – You know it makes lunch.
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I ve seen some crazy shit in my life …..[This should be a single comma] but people actualy [there's two l's in actually] believing in this crap.[There should be a space here]you [capital letter!] guys got 1 st prize @ the stupid awards!!!![one exclamation mark will suffice] futher [its spelt fuRther, and you probably wanted to use the word 'furthermore', which would be followed by a comma]do you people even know what all pasta s [the 's' is not necessary] are ['are' should be is] made of [question mark here] please [yet another capital letter] go [and] look that up and explain that one to me ……. [a colon would be much better than two ellipses] there is [are] no words to describe just how stupid all this is !!!!! get real [comma] get a life [possible comma] and find The treu [spelt true] and only God
-De Wet
To quote; “there is no words to describe just how stupid all this is” I am not bothered by bad spelling and grammar, but if you insist on calling others stupid with these kind of errors…!
And can you explain your God to me? Because I looked it up as well as pasta, and apparently your God is less real than mine!
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@Juan #73
The most are atheist just like you and indeed we’re doing it just to show how stupid religions are and to piss ‘believers’ off. This religion is just a nice and humoristic way to bound and have a laugh, a cold beer and a tasteful plate of pasta.
pasta 2 y’ll,
RAmen
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I’ve seen some crazy shit in my life too.
I went to church.
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@juan #73
Dear Juan:
Have no fear, Lucifer is here. You should be worried about the damage done to the world by the other religions. As far as I can see, nobody has died in the name of this satire. More people have died in the name of god, than for any other reason in the world.
I always come here to have a good laugh and see how stupid religious people can be.
The following thought was posted on this site some time ago and it had me laughing for days.
Your atheist friend,
Lucifer
Christianity – The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree…
Yeah, makes perfect sense…
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Dear De Wet: You are not “the law” You sound more like the shit to me.
I almost forgot to respond to your comical and moronic letter. Your god must be the one and only “treu” god. That is unbelievable dude. I think you convinced me, I am converting back to the one and only Treu Treu Treu Treu Treu God.
You behave kid. For you know what happens when Christians misbehave.
I will be waiting for you down here.
Lucifer
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I am deeply concerned. I swear I have seen HIM but He looked more like Ziti.
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God created all life and that is scientific FACT!
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Reply to MoRonic (aptly named) post#95
No, the idea that “god” created life is a legendary fantasy and the fruit of a primitive non-evolved and non-scientific mentality!
Scientists actuially say life evolved from primitive non-organic chemical compounds in a primordial ocean usually called the “chemical soup”.
Read up about it some time! It’s so much more interesting than silly tales about an old codger with a beard messing around with bits of clay!
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Crazy? Us crazy?
We don’t believe in talking snakes, people who made frogs rain down on Egypt, people who die and then come back as a Zombie King to forgive you of your sins, that one day said Zombie King would return and only take 144,000 people back with him, the pre-zombie’s mother remained a virgin for the rest of her life, that a thirty-three-year-old Jewish man was unmarried and celibate, and that if you don’t obey the word of the God represented in a book that was written by men looking to control the world that you would go to a place called hell and be in eternal pain.
Now THAT’S crazy.
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If you can’t even spell true right, then I weep for you sir.
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the stupid awards!!!!
thats imaginative
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if you ask me, I think you should go fuck yourself and stop shoving your Jesus down our throats, and if you hate us so much, why do you bother so much time critisizing us and telling us how stupid we are?
Maybe your the wrong one, at least we don’t go door to door, preaching our religion, handing out pamphlets to anyone who will take them.
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You would have to have a sense of humor to recognize satire when you see it.
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haha you missspelled true……
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There are stupid awards? How is it that De Wet knows about them and I haven’t… ohhh…
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FSM monster seems no more idiotic than a invisible man in the sky!
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Take this idea.
God is non-existent. The FSM is made of wheat and meat-based products, whereas God is made of nothing. Last time I tried to eat nothing, I felt empty. When I ate spaghetti and meatballs, hey presto, I was filled.
This simple yet effective analogy should make sure that your “Treu and only God” doesn’t actually exist.
Neither do the “Stupid Awards”, actally.
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“The treu and only God”? I’ll assume you mean the Christian Gods. Yes, that’s right. Gods. In Genesis, in the original Hebrew, the plural form “Elohim” – Gods – instead of the singular, “El”, is used. So the opening sentence of the Bible should read “In the beginning, the Gods created Heaven and Earth.” Perhaps you’d like to re-evaluate your opinion of the “treu and ONLY God”.
May you be touched by His noodly appendage and come to the light.
RAmen.
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yo
this is some crazy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I love how christians come onto to this site and claim our noodly lord is a load of crap!
Have you not looked at your religion recently?
You think you can walk on water and part seas and raise from the dead…
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Dear De Wet
The FSM is no more silly than the story of a man born of a virgin who is (one part of three of) the one god who walked on water and cured lepers and then died in the most amazingly grotesque fashion just to get our attention so that we would stand in awe at the violence he was capable of doing to himself. If you like that kinda shit, I have a couple of porn sites I can recommend to ya.
The FSM is definitely less silly than the idea of creationism. Get stuffed.
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another one for the trash can, to stupid to even explain to
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I think the lack of basic ability in spelling and grammar that is a recurring feature of our learned Christian friends’ correspondence should be made known far and wide. If anything would help convince parents not to send their kids to religious schools then this is it.
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You know. I really have to wonder, Bobby, do you pick all of the idiotic hate mail? Or is the Christian society have this loose of a grip on the concept of editing.
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Oh, and forgive my typo. The irony…….
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@Pasta tecum sit
‘Elohim’
Oh Snap!
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Oh I was just going to say that you obviously don’t check things or are rather blind, but then I noticed you were a Christian, so I guess its just more of the Christian hatemail…
I wonder why do we never get hatemail from Jews.. or Muslims?
RAmen
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Good site, admin.
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have you seen christianity?
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Hahaha! Atleast we didnt just insult the other religions in the world! “The treu and only God”? You arent the only religion. I do believe your religion was “made up” from people many years ago, from the things they believe. So are we forced to live unhappy and worship a God we dont believe? God is God! (our god is way cooler though)
RAmen
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