I ve seen some crazy shit in my life ….. but people actualy believing in this crap.you guys got 1 st prize @ the stupid awards!!!! futher do you people even know what all pasta s are made of please go look that up and explain that one to me ……. there is no words to describe just how stupid all this is !!!!! get real get a life and find The treu and only God
-De Wet
I’ve seen some crazy shit in my life
Published by Bobby Henderson September 23rd, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 118 Comments
118 Responses to “I’ve seen some crazy shit in my life”
Sometimes I get the feeling people writes only to read inteligent answers.
So I’m writing a stupid one:
whoever wins an award cannot be totally stupid so we should have qualified 2nd!
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The stupid awards …. Are they kind of like the oscars for religion?
ramen
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God is treu, and I like bleu cheese on muh saladz.
Which go well with pasta. So if God rhymes with my salad dressing, and salad is friends with pasta, God and the FSM must get together and play poka…
…and since the FSM is the True God of All Existence, he’s probably able to win poker even if he’s playing with sunday shopping coupons that all say “get one free”…which explains God’s painfully out of date wardrobe.
That’s right, your God played Strip Poker with my God…and bloody well lost!
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First prize? Yea, we’re pretty competetive.
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To all of you doubters that thought we wouldn’t get recognized for being anything…. we just slam dunked first frickin’ prize! Next stop.. the vatican and the academy awards, look out scientology.
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Oh and also, you’ve seen some crazy shit in your life and THIS is the craziest?? Horrible fucking existence this guy has.
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“The treu and only God”
The FSM?
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During chemistry my teacher decided that this would be a good time to show us some alternative theory’s. I decided to have a look at some of this “hate mail”. They are brilliant, i have to say i have enjoyed every letter of these somewhat temperamentally spelled comments. These comments manage do a wonderful job of expressing the dramatic contrast between different people around these days.
Seriously, do these people not understand?
How is it possible in this modern world that so called “educated” people can respond to such a brilliant website in such a way?
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It definitely depends on the pasta. Green pasta has spinich in it…red pasta has tomato it it, so I believe it is safe to assume that the FSM is not green or red as when He created the world he only made a mountain, some trees and a midgit. No mention of spinach or tomatoes. Now if there is a red FSM out there, then we would have to wonder if it could be the anti-FSM. Afterall, since Satan is often portrayed as wearing red pajamas, therefore red being a color of evil could cause speculation of this nature. However, since we have no revelation of a red FSM we must conclude that it does not exist. The red color that pasta is sometimes found in is simply there to remind us the sauce which covers us. Praise to his Noodleyness! RAmen.
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De Wet? Is that your name? Are you still in diapers? That might help explain some of the spelling, and use of language.
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I just love those hate mails. They make me smile :-)
“I ve seen some crazy shit in my life ….. but people actualy believing in this crap”
I rather believe in the goodness of his noodliness then another crap-story about a god who wants world domination. I don’t have problems with ppl who need a ‘god’, because mentaly they are not capable to cope with inexplicable things. But I do have a problem with ppl who are going to abuse other ppl because of it, built a very expensive cult around it, ppl who will prescribe other ppl how to behave and what to think, and I especially have a problem with ppl who don’t respect others because they do not want to be a part of something as foolish as a ‘religion’ or they do not ‘fit in’. The only thing that matters is r-e-s-p-e-c-t. For everybody, wether u are a boy or a girl, a christian child or muslim, a homosexual or an alien, a American, Europeen, Chinees or Iraqi. And for the rest I get instantly diarrhea whenever an insane religion freak comes to talk to me about “the one only true god”…
RAmen
(I’m sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes in it, English isn’t my native language)
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Adam Treu is God? I mean he was a decent long snapper, but who knew?
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If one of you wants to know, he signed with “the law” in Dutch. Man I hate the people in my country sometimes.
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To be honest I doubt Jesus would want anything to do with halfwits like De Wet.
Do you think he would want his heaven filled with morons?
I’ve heard from a good source Jesus personally thinks people like De Wet should go fuck themselves and stop giving him a bad name.
Jesus also believes in the FSM. May His Noodlyness be upon us.
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You need to kill yourself, okay? Anyone who spells “treu” that way is not fit to pass on his or her genes to the next generation. We have enough problems with the country as it is today. We have elected a moron who let terrorist crash into our bigest buildings, lied a nation into going to war in the place where we knew he would never be, let an entire American city drown while his administation did nothing to help, and finally stood by while Wall Street gambled away everyone’s furture and our long term solvency, which we are graciously agreeing to fix buying up all their worthless paper with our worthwhile money.
You are the kind of person who would find this kind of performance acceptable, and would no doubt vote for its continuance, therefore, you need to shuffle off this mortal coil, so the rest of the good rational people of this land can salvage whatever remnant of a future we might have left for ourselves. And, if you have a problem with this message, go fuck yourself, Fenwick.
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Fat Jesus(aka, the Jesus fat people pray to), has made it perfectly clear to several people that the FSM is his favorite version of the God story.
He’s both the treu and True God of all things, whether they be fat or not, and his existence is the only way to explain people with such bad spelling and grammar. If there was another explanation, then everybody would believe it, but since that’s not to case, you shall simply have to gain approximately 200 pounds(note: pasta will help you, it’s your friend), then pray to your Jesus, and he will gladly explain the truth of the FSM. If this fails to work, gain about 800 more and try again. Surely if you’re a devout believer in Jesus’ message, you will stop at nothing to hear the words of Fat Jesus to confirm that the FSM is the almightiest among equals. I can guarantee that you will hear the gospel truth from Fat Jesus if you will simply follow the above instructions.
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Holy shit funky spelling.
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Wouldn’t it be nice if just once someone posted a complaint that wasn’t rude, ignorant, or completely illiterate?
Alas, it seems the day will never come.
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen.
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So have I, it’s called this retarded hate mail. Get an editor, some intelligence, some valid evidence, and a better name, then we might consider taking an honest attempt at not shoving the actual evidence in your face and making fun of your mother.
Oh, by the way; your mother is ugly.
RAmen Mateys!
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All aboard the failboat! Sorry De Wet, looks like your the only one getting on. How about picking up a dictionary in the ships gift shop.
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@ Nuhudollo #10
The hate mail does not come from one person. It just sort of appears that way. Bobby Henderson publishes it. He’s the great founder of this magnificent web-site and religion. He receives the hate-mail at sends it to this area for us to peruse and respond to.
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I don’t know of there is any words, but the 1 street prize is a high award indeed! I think the treu and only is a bleu cheese dressing, by the way. Totally different. Pasta is wheat, not cheese. And by the way, an ellipsis requires neither a space or four dots. I can show you the correct way…See?
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Hi everyone, i didn’t find where to send my own hate mail or normal mail so im going to talk here, its more like a question or an obvservation.
I found this really funny because it is as legitimate as any other religion, so i thought you were doing it as a way to show how stupid religions are. But then, i also think that there are some really weak-minded people, as weak-minded as any other biliever, that might have had taken this seriously, and that could be “dangerous”. Weak-minded people are too susceptible to the power of fantasy and delusion.
So, i was wandering, do you guys really think this for real?
Because it seems like some of you do.(For me it would be as bad as any other devote to any other religion, dont feel discriminated)
I hope you do this to only piss religious people off.
And i really hope that if some of you guys tell me that you really bilieve in the Flying Spagethi Monster, it is only to preserve your masquerade of good sarcasm and mockery. (For me it would be as bad as any other devote to any other religion, dont feel discriminated)
If it was mean im sorry, i dont like to make people feel bad.
Its just that i think all would be better if people opened their minds to knowledge and facts, rather than fantasies.
Bye everyone, i will be happy to read any complaint or anything.
A respectful atheist.
PD.I found the “contact me” link but i think that this is faster and i make sure that it gets posted.
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It used to be said that atheism was only for intellectuals and I am starting to believe it.
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I found Him..The Treu and Only God!!!! He was out there about three billion light years away, intelligently designing a couple of new nebulae. When I told Him I had been sent by De Wet to find Him, He said, “Tell De Wet to piss off and get a real life.”
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Action alert! The AFA is calling on all religious leaders to make sure that their congregations are aware of pollitical issues and intend to vote. I think it’s our duty to join in. I’ve already signed the Church of FSM-Milwaukee up. Take the pledge!
http://www.afa.net/pastorspledge/
Gonna post this at the forums too.
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Whoever is admining this: I’m a bit curious as to why my comment is still awaiting moderation after some 9 hours, when other comments have been posted. This has happened before. Have I somehow transgressed against a rule or something?
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I will try to find the “treu and only God”, since “treu” and “bleu” are similar, i’m going to assume you worship a chunk of bleu cheese. Therefore, my first instinct is to look in the refridgerator. Luckily, to find my FSM, all I have to do is look in my pantry. Perhaps, before you post any more comments to a website, you should put your comment into Microsoft Word, it has a wonderful device called a “Spell Check”. It even corrects grammar mistakes! Yay learning! Oh, and pasta is made of wheat (with filler ingrediants), and I believe “s” to be a letter from the American alphabet.
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“do you people even know what all pasta s are made of please go look that up and explain that one to me”
Do you know what your supposed god is made of?
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Hey De Wet,
hook, line and sinker baby. And the line is made of pasta.
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I like hate male De Wet。And very much number 7 comment Scotty B for crackers being body of Christ-san。Must say even now, wine being blood of Hey-Zeus left right out sadly。 Unfortunate for all, due to Confusian can’t get to roll all into so funny pasta joke for friend De Wet-san being some dumb cracker。 Anyhow, would probary lose much in translation。
Actually, this all silly mis-understanding easily settle you。Should be now metaphysical bake off between noob Westside-crackers and old school Eastside-noodles。 Guest umpire is none other than great Chairman Kaga from Ironmen of Cooking 料理の鉄人(Ryōri no Tetsujin, or Iron Chef to you round eye dogs)。 Very happy good night。
RAmen desu, 拉麺です。
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“I ve seen some crazy shit in my life…”
“get a life and find The treu and only God”
- not much of an advert for finding god is it? Unless you actually like crazy shit in your life.
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I will be happy to accept this prize on behalf of FSM. While most of us are very educated, unlike this guy that can not spell true, we will accept it, and would be happy to be able to hand it back to the giver of the award since, of course, he did spell the word true incorrectly.
I am not saying you have to use spell check all of the time, but at least spell basic 2-5 letter words correctly.
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Oh yay, a stupid award!
Will go nice with my get-a-life awards and find-jesus-he-loves-you award
Honestly…
Pastaleluia!
Well, maybe not…
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I’m guessing a spell checker qualifies as crazy shit you Haven’t seen.
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P.S. De Wet, as I told you earlier (#75), I found the Treu and Only God far out in space constructing a couple of new nebulae. I asked Him whether He used Intelligent Design in His creations on earth. He snorted and said, “Intelligent Design my Ass, take a look around back there. How could anyone think any intelligence went into constructing that mess? One of my students did it for a term project. I flunked his ass. He wasted way more than 6,000 years fucking up that planet.”
Blessings,
Fliegenden Nudeln
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I am a recent believer, I now talk about His Noodlyness all day at school. (Although none of my friends have been touched by Noodly Appendages.) I never believed in God, or Allah, or anyone else, ’til I found FSM. I love this website, and am about to favourite it and show it to my friends, hoping to turn them to His Noodlyness. Those of you who believe in other ‘gods’, shut up and leave us alone!
Sauce be on Him,
Vikki
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It is a well known fact, to those that know it, that we all make typos and I’ve come across plenty in the forums.
Therefore the FSM, in His infinite wisdom, gave us spelling checkers. Unlike DeepThorn (post #83) I think we owe it to Him to use them at all times.
It would, after all, be a great shame if one of our hate mailers actually knew how to spell and accused us of hypocrisy.
——————————–
Pasta – You know it makes lunch.
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I ve seen some crazy shit in my life …..[This should be a single comma] but people actualy [there's two l's in actually] believing in this crap.[There should be a space here]you [capital letter!] guys got 1 st prize @ the stupid awards!!!![one exclamation mark will suffice] futher [its spelt fuRther, and you probably wanted to use the word 'furthermore', which would be followed by a comma]do you people even know what all pasta s [the 's' is not necessary] are ['are' should be is] made of [question mark here] please [yet another capital letter] go [and] look that up and explain that one to me ……. [a colon would be much better than two ellipses] there is [are] no words to describe just how stupid all this is !!!!! get real [comma] get a life [possible comma] and find The treu [spelt true] and only God
-De Wet
To quote; “there is no words to describe just how stupid all this is” I am not bothered by bad spelling and grammar, but if you insist on calling others stupid with these kind of errors…!
And can you explain your God to me? Because I looked it up as well as pasta, and apparently your God is less real than mine!
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@Juan #73
The most are atheist just like you and indeed we’re doing it just to show how stupid religions are and to piss ‘believers’ off. This religion is just a nice and humoristic way to bound and have a laugh, a cold beer and a tasteful plate of pasta.
pasta 2 y’ll,
RAmen
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I’ve seen some crazy shit in my life too.
I went to church.
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@juan #73
Dear Juan:
Have no fear, Lucifer is here. You should be worried about the damage done to the world by the other religions. As far as I can see, nobody has died in the name of this satire. More people have died in the name of god, than for any other reason in the world.
I always come here to have a good laugh and see how stupid religious people can be.
The following thought was posted on this site some time ago and it had me laughing for days.
Your atheist friend,
Lucifer
Christianity – The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree…
Yeah, makes perfect sense…
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Dear De Wet: You are not “the law” You sound more like the shit to me.
I almost forgot to respond to your comical and moronic letter. Your god must be the one and only “treu” god. That is unbelievable dude. I think you convinced me, I am converting back to the one and only Treu Treu Treu Treu Treu God.
You behave kid. For you know what happens when Christians misbehave.
I will be waiting for you down here.
Lucifer
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I am deeply concerned. I swear I have seen HIM but He looked more like Ziti.
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God created all life and that is scientific FACT!
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Reply to MoRonic (aptly named) post#95
No, the idea that “god” created life is a legendary fantasy and the fruit of a primitive non-evolved and non-scientific mentality!
Scientists actuially say life evolved from primitive non-organic chemical compounds in a primordial ocean usually called the “chemical soup”.
Read up about it some time! It’s so much more interesting than silly tales about an old codger with a beard messing around with bits of clay!
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Crazy? Us crazy?
We don’t believe in talking snakes, people who made frogs rain down on Egypt, people who die and then come back as a Zombie King to forgive you of your sins, that one day said Zombie King would return and only take 144,000 people back with him, the pre-zombie’s mother remained a virgin for the rest of her life, that a thirty-three-year-old Jewish man was unmarried and celibate, and that if you don’t obey the word of the God represented in a book that was written by men looking to control the world that you would go to a place called hell and be in eternal pain.
Now THAT’S crazy.
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If you can’t even spell true right, then I weep for you sir.
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the stupid awards!!!!
thats imaginative
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if you ask me, I think you should go fuck yourself and stop shoving your Jesus down our throats, and if you hate us so much, why do you bother so much time critisizing us and telling us how stupid we are?
Maybe your the wrong one, at least we don’t go door to door, preaching our religion, handing out pamphlets to anyone who will take them.
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