I find this religion absolutly rediculous. In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.
Someone…please change my opinion/views on this matter. I want to know if this is real and why you beleive. But until i get answers…your all fucking crazy. I mean listen to yourselves!!!!
‘OH YOUR GREAT NOODLYNESS!!!’
‘ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY INVSIBLY MOSTER MADE OUT OF SPAGHETTI THAT CAN FLY!!!’
…do you hear yourselves when you speak??? Im not trying to be mean, and this is not hate mail in any way im just curious to the point where it enrages me!!!
Someone please answer my questions!!!!
Explain this religion to me!!
why spaghetti? And why pirates?? What proof do you have??? Someone get back to me. I must know.
-Emilee
I find this religion absolutly rediculous
Published by Bobby Henderson September 22nd, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 143 Comments
143 Responses to “I find this religion absolutly rediculous”
Welcome Emilee!
You have taken the first step toward freeing your mind. Do you want to take the red pill or the blue pill?
Google the word “satire”.
Read the letter and responses to the Kansas School board.
Then come back here and we can start an intelligent discussion.
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You also apparently find the use of a dictionary “absolutly rediculous.”
> it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off
> to any type of religion at all.
His Noodly Appendage has done its work well! But all that He requires of you is that you don’t foist your religion on anyone else. Oh, and maybe enjoy a nice, hot plate of spaghetti. You know you want to. It pleases you in a deep, soulful way…
> im just curious to the point where it enrages me!!!
Your emotions can be so strong that they become other emotions? Do you ever have an emotion turn into giddiness? That would be cool.
RAmen
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I….um…..I think we may have done something…. right?
Seriously, Emilee, the whole point of this is questioning religion. Not rejecting it- just thinking critically about it. That’s why we reject ID, and other forms of dogma.
In order to point up the logical inconsistencies, Bob has turned to satire. Satire is intentionally ridiculous.
Impressively enough, he also seems to have founded a philosophical belief system in the process; which is extremely cool, but an unintended side effect. I doubt it actually qualifies as a religion. We aren’t reverent enough.
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This probably fake, but just in case it is not:
Emilee,
Open the wondrous book known as the Dictionary, and look under the word “Satire” – there you shall find the answers you seek. RAmen.
-Sarah
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“I find this religion absolutly rediculous. In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
This is indeed what we are trying to achieve (aswell as spreading the word of tolerance). Also, you’re spelling ridiculous wrong.
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This religion finds you ridiculous. But if you have been turned off of all religions, than FSM has done it’s job.
Sauce be with you.
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Why not spaghetti, why not pirates? Whats the difference between a religion that worships spaghetti and a religion that worships snakes? Whats the difference between the belief that pirates are divine beings and the belief that people born on 6/6/06 are pure evil. Whats the difference between eating a cracker and eating spaghetti at church.
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Do you actually know how to read?
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Well, there is Alot of more proof that there are spaghetti and pirates in this world than there are any character like this Jesus could ever excist.
Well, i should also add that it is more polite than ANY other religion that i know of! :D
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Of course you don’t understand Emilee, don’t worry, there is a simple explaination for this.
The problem is that there are only so many real people in the world. The rest of you guys are just filler.
If you were real, then an intimate knowledge of cosmic events would come as natural to you as say doing multivariable calculus in your head, or brain surgery.
It’s ok, just try to accept what we say and don’t try to over analyze it, you really don’t have it in you.
Don’t worry. Watch Oprah, that’s what’s she’s there for, to keep you from worrying..
cho’
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Emilee, you are so close… so close! All you have to do is read the open letter right on the front page (you know, where it says ’start here’) and your eyes will open. A great mass of confusion and doubt will lift from you, and you will be touched by His Noodly Appendage. RAmen!
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I find your massacre of the english language absolutely ridiculous (note correct spelling).
When will one of you nuts present a coherent argument?\
“…do you hear yourselves when you speak???” – erm, actually, what you read on the internet isn’t speech. We can’t hear it (unless you count the keystroke noises). And as such, we can’t hear it (unless we read it back to ourselves out loud).
“Your(sic) all fucking crazy” and then “I’m not trying to be mean”-
ORLY!?!
“In fact, it is so rediculously (sic) stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
NOW You’re getting it!!!!
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What proof do we have;
1. Milions of people share our faith, millions of people can’t be wrong.
2. If there was no Spashetti Monster, how do you explain the complexity of the Universe?
3. If you have faith, you will be rewarded in Heaven with a beer volcano.
4. What proof do you have that he DOESN’T exist?
If this isn’t proof enough, you should probably abandon religion and become a humanaist or something wierd.
Pirates;
1. The FSM moves in mysterious ways, we do not know why he likes pirates, just that he does. If he didn’t why would he punish the decline in pirate numbers with the rise of global warming.
2. The mighty FSM may have chosen pirates because they seem a little inappropriate, he seems to have a keen sense of irony (which he created after bronzy and goldy)
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Dear Emilee,
It’s called satire. Look it up.
-Jeebuz
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Hi Emilee,
I sugest you first start off with the letter send to the kansas school board.
.
Then, since this is religion, we are not the ones who have to proof our deity (although we can).
It’s yours to disproof it. Sounds rediculous? Yes. It is.
.
I am also very turned off by religion, and the FSM is my tool in every discussion. I’m truly Touched by His Noodlyness. (get it?)
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Has. Not. Read. Site.
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Please read this site. It will explain the religion, the spaghetti and the pirates.
In the end, it’s spaghetti because, well, that just what it is. He is what He is, and he is noodly.
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Grammar, diction, spelling etc. Jesus Christ, go and fucking kill yourself before your careworker wastes another day on you.
RAmen
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Proof? We have lots. Buy the gospel, read… if you can! ;)
Oh… and please learn to spell. ;)
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You’re turned off by ALL religion because of this?
Mission Accomplished.
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we have just as much proof as Christians do… and much more pasta.
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One word: Satire.
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Why spaghetti? Because that is what His Noodlyness is made of.
Why pirates? Because they are the chosen people of the FSM.
As for proof, we have a graph, which is more proof than most religions have.
Why do you need proof for religion? It is supposed to be about faith. May the Noodly Appendage touch you and remove your doubt.
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Emilee, this is really a big topic, but on the offchance that you’re asking these questions in earnest, the only advice that I can offer you is to look up the word “satire” in the dictionary. Then you’ll understand that the fact that you’re “turned off to any type of religion at all” is pretty much the whole point. Well, that and this website is just so much darn fun!
Thanks for your question and I hope this helps. By the way, you really shouldn’t use the F-word. It’s not nice.
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Because it is FUNNY!
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You should probably learn to spell and write correctly if you want the people you’re insulting to take you seriously…
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I find this religion absolutly rediculous. In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.
~Good, all religions are bullshit
.
Someone…please change my opinion/views on this matter. I want to know if this is real and why you beleive. But until i get answers…your all fucking crazy. I mean listen to yourselves!!!!
~How are we any different than Xians or any other religious group?
.
‘OH YOUR GREAT NOODLYNESS!!!’
~What are we supposed to call Our Great Noodly Master?
.
‘ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY INVSIBLY MOSTER MADE OUT OF SPAGHETTI THAT CAN FLY!!!’
~Better than all hail the invisible sky daddy, we know spaghetti exists so that’s more evidence in our favor than any other religion
.
…do you hear yourselves when you speak??? Im not trying to be mean, and this is not hate mail in any way im just curious to the point where it enrages me!!!
~First, yes it is, now calm down and take a few breaths. What’s so different about praising The FSM instead of a cow or an invisible sky daddy?
.
Someone please answer my questions!!!!
Explain this religion to me!!
~Just did
.
why spaghetti? And why pirates?? What proof do you have??? Someone get back to me. I must know.
~We have as much proof as any other religion that our Noodly Master exists. As for pirates, there is a graph that shows the rise of global warming while the rate of Pirates are declining, showing proof that Pirates are divine beings
.
-Emilee
~Mariner
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If this site has turned you off to all kinds of religion then it has been a success. The FSM simply demonstrates how ridiculous all religions are. All the best.
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Wow.
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Emilee,
I glad to see someone with a somewhat open mind. You of course have every right to ask questions before accepting any religion and we, pastafarians, prefer that you do.
The first thing you should know about us is that we regect dogma outright. Meaning that although we have the basic belief in the FSM we are open to changing those beliefs if someone makes a compelling argument showing us where we have gone wrong. The fact that there are as many of us as there are is a testiment to the lack of proof that has been offered to disprove our ideas and theories about the creation of the universe.
Now, that we have that in place, I’ll tell you a bit about us. Starting with why a flying speghetti monster is our god. Like with any god we cannot prove it without a shadow of doubt, but we do have evidence that supports the claim.
Suppose we accept some of the Christian beliefs about god speaking with various individuals. Since god had to “come” then he obviously had to come from somewhere. Meaning that physical laws still apply to god in whatever form he takes. Now consider the fact that across the world at any given moment there are thousands of people who claim that god is helping them. If god is dependant upon physical laws then the only way he could be helping all these people at once is if he had thousands of hands that could reach across the world to be in each of those places. And if god is dependant upon natural laws, then there also must be a limit to how many limbs or appendages he/she/it can have and it also follows that the smaller each of those appendages are the more of them there can be, so we reduce them down to the minimum we can get them, to a thin noodle and we gain the most appendages allowing god to affect as many things as is possible at once. Now, we may be wrong. He may be made of ramen noodles, or even angel hair pasta, but we can’t be sure, and saying that the particular noodles He is made of is spaghetti is simply a leap of faith until we can gain more evidence.
Our theory that god is an FSM is also supported by the theory of intelligent falling, which states that things don’t fall to the ground because of some force we have yet to identify the true cause of called gravity, but rather because the FSM pushes everything down to earth with his noodly appendages, and concordant with the limited appendages theory, with the increase in global population there are fewer appendages to go around and so on average people grow taller with each new generation.
——
Have you ever looked at the world and wondered, “What is going on? How could any god let the world become this full of chaos? Shouldn’t He have created a world full of peace and harmony”? Well wonder no further as the answer is right before your eyes. We Pastafarians believe that in the beginning the FSM created the beer volcano and the stripper factory, and after partaking of the beer volcano (remember He hadn’t created anything else yet so it was pretty much the only thing to do) His judgement was impaired and so through the rest of the creation process we see the mistakes that He made as His drunken mind told Him what would be a good idea. This is the theory of Unintelligent Design. Just look at the duckbilled platypus. It is impossible to believe that that was created by a sober god.
Finally, we know that Pirates are His chosen people because we see what is happening to the world without them. Global temperatures have been rising for decades, and started rising long before industrialization began spewing carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, so that cannot be the cause. But we look and see that the temperatures started to rise at a very similiar time to the point in history where we experienced a sharp drop off in the global pirate population (see the graph on the evidence page).
I hope this helps you make an informed decision Emilee, and remember our guarantee:
Try us for 30 days and if you don’t like us your old god will most likely take you back.
RAmen
Peace and Long Life,
Zane
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Despite knowing how difficult it is to get freethinking atheists, rationalist, and other such secularists to congregate, I will respectfully have to ask you to quit helping. Why is it that the people with the least to say always seem to say it the loudest? I am sorry to say Emilee, that this “Religion” finds you equally ridiculous. I want you to go to your room and think about what you have done and don’t come out until you have been touched by His “Noodly Apendage”.
Peace, Hugs & Kisses
P.S.
Does anyone else hear think that most of the “crazies” and “fundies” in the world, and in particular this site, need desperatly to get LAID!
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It’s spelled ridiculously – from the root ridicule Etymology:Latin ridiculosus (from ridiculum jest, from neuter of ridiculus) or ridiculus, literally, laughable, from ridēre to laugh. Closely related to satire. And hey, if it’s turned you off to any ridiculous religion (being redundant), then our job is done. Congratulation’s on freeing yourself from belief in any imaginary Jewish zombies, pasta monsters, or pink unicorns that didn’t create the world.
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I find it absolutely rIdiculous that you cannot understand SATIRE.
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Heh heh. Emilee, one day you’ll be old enough to understand. In the meantime, though, please copy your note above and ask those VERY SAME QUESTIONS of the nearest christian. Maybe your parents?
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Must be either a troll, “rediculously stupid,” or “fucking crazy.” Either way, nothing said will change Emilee’s perception of Pastafarianism.
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Emilee,
You are almost right, this religion is not ‘rediculous’ (sic) but it is most certainly ridiculous and that is the point.
Why not spaghetti? Why not pirates? Proof?, in a faith based religion, no sorry can’t help you there.
Had you done a little research you would not have needed to ask these questions and therefore I suspect you are approximately 13 years old and very lazy.
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“do you hear yourselves when you speak??? Im not trying to be mean, and this is not hate mail in any way im just curious to the point where it enrages me”
i dont think its possible to be curious to the point of being enraged, you get enraged cause your angry, not curious.
“I mean listen to yourselves!!!!”
“…do you hear yourselves when you speak???”
Have you listened to yourself at all in that paragraph and yes, yes we do, we have granted EARS by our Noodly Master.
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So sad. I assume that you’re a christian, so listen to yourself. “oh, old man in the sky..please don’t burn us! We’re sorry that the woman ate from the magic tree after being tricked by the talking snake! Thank you for sending yourself so that you could be tortured by us!” etc, etc. Turn that inquiry around…what PROOF do you have? We have a book too…
Scott
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we have the same amount of proof and sense put into this religion as christianity and all the other mainstream ones. i fail to see what about his holy noodly appendage confuses you.
why, the FSM is very logical. you should read the gospel of the FSM, it will clear up any confusion or discrepancies you have here. only then can you see the true light.
arrrrrrrrr.
RAmen.
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Well, not all answers should be served in golden bowls, in fact I really think the most important answers come after a great deal of work and endurance.
In other words, why don´t you take the time to READ the documents in this site and answer your questions by yourself, it ain´t that hard.
Hail the AlTomaighty
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Well, obviously you haven’t looked at the handy graph. And personally, I find the idea of a Flying Spaghetti Monster more believable than a Big Old Invisible Man Who Lives In The Sky.
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Emilee, its ok. You got it, you aren’t supposed to take the FSM too seriously. This is a genuine parody, nothing more. It is very stupid, and very rediculous. But you see, there’s the point. If you read the Gospel, it is revealed that besides a very few meager assumptions, the whole ideal is based on the use of perverted logic. The idea is that science is a very special philosophy, and “theories” such as Intelligent Design are not appropriate science, because although they are based on logic, so is FSM. Think about it, decline in pirates almost seems linked to global warming. Yet we know it isn’t. Henderson is trying to demonstrate the hilarity that had ought to be taught in schools if ID is allowed. And all the time we never leave behind logic, just rationality.
Finally, FSM followers have a problem with ID supporters, who are simply messing with genuine science and the secular classroom for the sake of their personal ideas of God. Legally, politically, FSM is a true religion. From a political perspective, we can make a point from calling this our “official” religion. But spiritually, of course it isn’t. The only spiritual teaching is tolerance and respect, so while we don’t encourage you to seek out conservative or evangelical institutions, of course you should look into tolerant, open-minded ideas that make more sense. Go for it. We hope that cleared it up a bit. Nick
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Emilee.
I can spell better english than you do and english is not even my firs language. How can you understand this if you cannot even write correctly in your own native tongue?
let’s brief this to you…wwww.venganza.org
on the first page there is the following statement, which turns to be a link, that says “If you are new to the site, you’ll probably want to start here with the: (big bold blue fonts) OPEN LETTER TO THE KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD”
If this doesn’t satisfy you enough, you can go to the About section.
You might want to do this before you start spitting stupid shit like that and asking us if we hear ourselves when we talk.
Do you read something before you make an analisys of it, you dumb woman?
It is called proof reading!
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“I find this religion absolutly rediculous. In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
This is high praise indeed, I believe his Noodlyness was pleased by our devotions on International Talk Like A Pirate Day and is rewarding us with fan mail.
“I must know”
Emilee, your inquiring mind, capacity for critical thought and thirst for understanding do you credit; that gets you nowhere with us religious types though, we’re more into blind devotion and obsessive extortions to ‘believe’.
All hail the Carbohydrate Creator, Spaghetti be thy name, may we be touched by his noodly appendages, even in ways that many would regard as inappropriate, join with us Emilee and together we can all bathe in the warmth of his sauce.
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Echoing what others have said before myself…
“…turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
You’re on the right track to enlightenment my dear. Such is the way of our noodley lord and meatball master (may he be gently boiled). As the great philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti said…
“You have to be a light to yourself. Not the light of a professor, or an analyst, or psychologist, or the light of Jesus, or the Buddho. You have to be a light to yourself. In a world that is utterly becoming dark.”
Unfortunately, Jiddu didn’t have the privilege of the FSM in his day so I would gather that he would say that “self” equates “FSM.” Praise be unto he, the most complex of carbohydrates. The amylopectin of the infinite.
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Hey Emilee, why do Xtains call Jesus the “Lamb of God”? Is that any more absurd than a Flying Clump of Spaghetti as a deity? How is a piece of bread suddenly turned into god. How can 10,000 wafers of bread in a bowl simultaneously be god? Rediculous (as you would spell it), isn’t it?
Fact is all religions are a form of insanity because every single one of them respresents beliefs which have no grounding in fact.
When a crazy man says an invisible man is out to get him, and torure and kill him because the crazy man believes he wronged the invisible man, we put him on a psych ward and give him anti-psychotic drugs.
When a Xtain says god is out to get us because we “sinned against him” we call that guy reverend and put $25 in the collection plate.
Notice any similarities between the reverend and the crazy man?
The only difference between the two is that society has decided to accept the reverends delusion as true. That acceptance is arbitrary and can be withdrawn by society at any time. In fact it has been withdrawn on numerous occasions. Do you know that in its history mankind has worshipped over 10,000 deities as the “one true god”.
Think the Xtian deity is unique? Well consider that thousands of years BEFORE Christ reputedly walked the Earth, there were literally two dozen religions that advanced the idea that the son of god became human to “save mankind” by being crucified and rising from the dead three days later. The reason why so many religions took this myth relates to the fact that the Sun (synonymous with the Son of God to ancient peoples), sets in the south during the winter solstice near the Southern Cross constellation. On that day, December 21st, the sun is at its weakest and therefore was considered to have “died on the Cross”. Since it remains in the region of Southern cross for 3 days before it begins setting at a more Northerly latitude, it is said to be reborn (rise from the dead) on the third day. Many of these other earlier religions have the same details about their “son of god” as does Xtainity. For instance, many of these religious have their “son of god” change water into wine, walk on water, raise the dead, have twelve disciples, lecture in the temple at age 12, start public life at age 30, be born of a virgin, ascend into heaven after the work is done, and be called “the lamb of god”.
In view of this, how is it possible to believe Jesus (whose actual name was Jeshua, Jesus is a bad translation) actually had a historicity that was congruent with the account in the gospels. Isn’t it more likely that whoever put together his biography simply copied and plagiarized accounts of earlier deities which christians maintain are fictions?
Name one historical personage who actually lived a life who had his life detailed in an earlier fictional account. Did anyone write a novel about a guy who wrote an almanac and discovered electricity by flying a kite? No, there’s no fictional account of the life of Ben Frainklin that precedes his actual historical existence is there?
Is there a fictional account of a crippled man who becomes president of the United States and leads the nation out of a worldwide depression and to victory in a global war? What’s that you say, no such novel exists which details the life of Franklin Delano Roosevelt before he lived it.
How about a fictional account of a girl who joins the mousketeers as a child, loses her virginity to a fellow mouseketeer, becomes a mega pop star, gets divorced, has a substance abuse problem, shaves her head, gets photographed not wearing panties a couple of times, has a nervous breakdown, loses custody of her kids, and loses weight and cuts a new alblum? What’s that you say, no fictional account of the life of Brittney Spears exists which precedes her actual existence?
Big suprise isn’t it? People don’t have fictionalized accounts of their lives lying around which precede their actual existence. At least real people don’t.
So what’t that gotta make Christ, and what does that make the assertions and beliefs proffered by Xtainity. In your own word “rediculous.”
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Emilee, Please don’t take this goofy stuff too seriously. I would ask that you don’t let things like this put out the fire for whatever it is you are searching for. It sounds like you maybe looking for answers. I’ve found my own, but I’m not about to debate them on such a ridiculous web-site. I would like to also offer that the Bible is perceived in many different ways. Some of it is metaphoric, while some, literal. Please don’t look at the Bible itself as “religion.” Catholicism, Judaism, Baptist.. Those are “religions.” If you want to know where you come from, I only ask that you take a look around you in the day, and again in the night. Away from the city lights. Think about how you feel, your thoughts, your dreams.. When you die, do you really think that your thoughts will just end? I’m not going to tell you what I think you should believe in. I think you should draw your own conclusions by educating yourself and by determining what you believe by Faith. good luck.
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I find the spelling of your name absolutely ridiculous.
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“this is not hate mail in any way” hmmm, really.
1. Sentences spelled in ALL CAPS.
2. Poor grammar/spelling.
3. No sense of humor.
4. Inability to understand simple satire.
5. Using the F-word.
6. Asking for an explanation on the website that gives just that.
Sorry Emilee, but your email has all of the signs of being hate-mail. Try again next time. RAmen!!
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Youre not only being mean but rediculous.
Proof? A religion needs proof? Now who’s the blasphemer.
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Lernin reedin and rittin dont leeve nuf tiime fer preyin ya kno?
Jeesus dont kare abuot no gremma!
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It turned you off to all religions? Then I believe we have won.
RAmen
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This guy didn’t take computer class or English class in school apparently.
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and what proof do you have that your bearded zombie god exsists?
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Um, it’s a parody. It’s supposed to turn you off to religion.
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First of all, I would like to state that I really hate Hate Mail.
Secondly, after much consideration, I have every reason to believe that **Bono** is the Anti-FSM. And now so do you.
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They don’t actually belive this. It’s obviously sarcasm. They are trying to make fun of religion by using something that is ridiculous to be a parody of religion, because religion has a lot of questions that can’t be easily answered, so they find religion to be just as rediculous as a flying spaghetti monster. Big waste of time in my opinion.
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I have been away for far too long…
Oh goodness gracious.
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Look, I know this probably isn’t an original thought, but if “Almighty God’s” design really was intelligent, why was evolution needed?
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ITs a SATIRE! ITs proving how silly it is to ACtually Believe with out actual proof
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Why do people call my religion satire? May the FSM serve you warm beer.
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Your spelling is RIDICULOUS.
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Carolyn yes this is satire but if you read the open letter you would know why. Take a minute or 2 to read it and you will understand. Bottom line; don’t teach intelligent design in science. That is the point partly because it is not based in science and only need faith to believe it. Oh yeah, “ridiculous” is spelled ridiculous. Many in favor of intelligent design cannot spell! Not very intelligent if you ask me!
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Emilee, your existance is definate proof there is no god.
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Emilee, if you replace “this religion” with just “religion”, I agree with you.
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Emilee
I understand your thoughts but you do not have to prove something exist to have faith in it. Anyways, spaghetti is delicious, and pirates are much cooler than a guy walking around in a robe and sandals.
May his Noodley Appendage guide you.
RAmen
Skyeler
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emilee you twit,
FSM is a joke against the Intelligent Design nonsense they are trying to dupe ppl with in the USA. Ofcourse no one ACTUALLY believes there is a mystical piece of Noodle flying through the air. That there is the parrallel though, as rediculous as FSM seems, when you think about it, which most “believers” are conditioned not to, it’s no more stupid than the supposed christian god, muslim etc.
By the way, since when do religo’s own the word “Believer”? Are you a Believer? In what? Yes I believe if I throw a ball in the air it will come down again, ahmen!
Aggressive right wing Christians will stop at nothing (certainly not violence or propaganda) to spread the disease of christianity, even if it means taking a cheap shot at science. Science is PROOF, religion is an IDEA – make the distinction people.
And to any moron who says “prove that god doesn’t exist”, here is the answer. You dont need to disprove something that first cannot be proven. Why would i bother disproving the theory that “we all have miscroscopic purple elephants crawling across our skin”, when it can’t be proven in the first place. And this theory by the way, is no more rediculous than the chrsitian god.
And on heaven – “oh but i want to see my dead father in the after life” – woopdydo? just because you WANT something, doesn’t make it REAL – again, make the distinction.
Personally i really hope i dont go to heaven, can you imagine hanging out with christians all day long? avoid like the plague.
over and out. peace to everyone.
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Why spaghetti? Because that’s what the flying spaghetti monster is made out of.
Why pirates? Because the flying spaghetti monster said so, and they are cool.
What proof do we have? We have a graph. You obviously haven’t seen it.
Still, if we turned you off religion then we’ve at least done something right.
ramen
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RAmen 2 ur comment, William. Can’t have said it better :-)
Sometimes I’m so proud to be a pastafarian… *tears of luck in eyes*…
Bless his noodliness,
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Look up the word ’satire’.
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william,
I’m hurt. I actually believe the FSM is there, guiding us with His Noodly Appendages. I’m pretty sure I saw Him once, hanging out at Ivars on the Seattle waterfront. When I did a double-take, there was just a homeless guy with long dreadlocks and one of those winter caps with the big fuzzball on the top. But I’m pretty sure He was actually there.
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“In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
Great. Mission accomplished.
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Dear Emilee:
Noone believes this religion literally. We do it mock ID in the schools and to some extent, to mock all religion. Im glad you realize that all religion is ignorant. Im also glad I played a small part in helping you achieve that realization by supporting FSM.
I have been hoping for a long time to read a post like yours, you made my day.
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Oh yes… and Ishmeal, (September 22nd, 2008 at – Ishmael Says) NO, HELL FUCKING NO! If they don’t get laid, good… prehaps one day thier seed will be extinct from this planet, like the fucking dinosaurs (which fundies don’t even believe in).
And don’t be so hard on Emilee, she will make a fine atheist if only she has some encouragement from those of us who see beyond the religion problem humanity has been plagued with for so long now.
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RAmen, William.
And i don’t think that there is anyone in this whole high-carbohydrate congregation who worships a “MIGHTY INVSIBLY MOSTER MADE OUT OF SPAGHETTI THAT CAN FLY!!!”.
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well said william, except, FSM isnt a joke.
it’s… a brilliant piece of social commentary. =)
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I like that idea…
Next time I’m asked to disprove the ‘being’ of a supreme deity I’ll ask the believer to disprove the ‘invisible purple microscopic elephant skin parasite’ theory first.
PC
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INVISIBLY
I like that word.
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William knows not what he speaks, Carbo Diem touches us all. You speak nonsense. How dare you declare our followers none believers.
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57 – September 22nd, 2008 at – carolyn Says:
“They don’t actually belive this. It’s obviously sarcasm. They are trying to make fun of religion by using something that is ridiculous to be a parody of religion, because religion has a lot of questions that can’t be easily answered, so they find religion to be just as rediculous as a flying spaghetti monster. Big waste of time in my opinion.”
Carolyn, I don’t know who you are referring to when you say, “They don’t actually believe in this.” Since you are clearly not a Pastafarian, I suggest you leave it to Pastafarians to define what we believe.
Our prophet, Bobby Henderson, has said, “Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.” (Click the “About” button for verification.) His letter to the Kansas School Board makes it clear that Pastafarians do believe in our Noodly Master, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We do want our theory of Intelligent Design taught in science classes along with other lesser theories.
You’re welcome to your opinion, but don’t waste my time.
RAmen
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Hello Emily
You say “I find this religion absolutly rediculous. In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all”
I think that means that your contact with the flying Spag monster has had the right effect… so you can consider yourself truly blessed by his truth-bringing noodly appendages!
Halleluija!!! You have just been illuminated with the realisation that ALL religions are basically ridiculous! Don’t fight it! Go with the flow!
PS I love your imaginative spelling!
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“I find this religion absolutly rediculous. In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
Excellent. His noodly appendage has shown you that religion is nonsense. May you be blessed by his holiness.
RAmen.
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At first glance, all religions are just as ridiculous as this one. It’s the brainwashing one experiences that makes causes belief that it all makes perfect sense. I remember the first time I was “touched”, so to speak, by my “father”. He appeared to me in a dream and boy did he show me the way! ALL THE WAY!
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Wow, I love how I edit my sentences at 4am and appear to lose all grammar skills lol.
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I’m glad that this disgusted you of religion. That is the point, really (but shhhh, don’t tell mr Henderson).
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“ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY INVISIBLE MONSTER MADE OUT OF SPAGHETTI THAT CAN FLY!!!”
“everyone follow the REAL god who is always with you except you just cant see him or feel him. Jesus right?”
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Dear Emily:
There is no god.
Meisha.
(Does that work for you?)
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i find your spelling absolutly rediculous
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His noodly appendage at work.
RAmen.
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Poe’s law?
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Avast ye! So be it yer lilly livered bilge rat. An idea like that is like a ship that pasta in our night, coz the lanterns was not kept lit by tha likes of chamber-pot cabin boy Emilee. Arrrr.
We will say a liturgic service fer yer dispatched non-belief.
Sing with me shipmates: “Pie FSM Domine, dona eis requiem. Dona eis requiem sempiternam” (O sweet Lord Noodle, grant them rest; grant them everlasting rest).
RAmen
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Emilee, my dear sister in Noodliness,
Faith is not based on evidence! Facts are based on evidence. Your demand for fact is a sign that your heart is hardened. Only when you set it free will his Noodliness (praise him) touch you and instill faith in you.
In other words, what proof have you that my beloved Noodle Monster does NOT exist?
Stef
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RAmen!
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you ask, “why spaghetti? And why pirates?? What proof do you have???” I say, why an unidentifiable, unseeable god? and why why winged people floating around with harps on their knees? what proof do they have”???”
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WHOOO! Emily hath been touched by his noodly appendage! And I quote “This has turned me off all religion.” May his noodly appendage guide you to the spell check and give you a realization of what satire is for his next miracle. ALL HAIL IS GREAT NOODLYNESS! For it is good.
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“it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
yes his noodely arms has shown you the way!
he has shown you the true face of religion…
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“Im not trying to be mean, and this is not hate mail in any way im just curious to the point where it enrages me!!!”
I am so using this phrase from now on. Curious to the point where it enrages me! Yes! I’m not angry, just VERY VERY CURIOUS.
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learn to spell
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I don’t get why people can’t get the FSM into their mind. Jesus was a HUMAN who walks on water, turns water into wine, and brings people back to life. In my eyes Jesus was a magician, a obsessed alcohlic, and a zombie calling necromancer
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Im glad FSM has served in it purpose :)
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dear Emilee,
please change the word noodyness &
THE MIGHTY INVSIBLY MOSTER MADE OUT OF SPAGHETTI THAT CAN FLY in god and than .. maybe you will understand one day!
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It’s a parody meant to mock religions. In Kansas, people wanted to teach students about creative design according to the catholic bible and many were against this because creative design is all speculation. There’s no proof that it occurred; therefore, it should not be taught in schools. To show how ridiculous it all is, some guy created the Flying Spaghetti Monster religion. Just like Christianity, there’s no actual proof that there’s a spaghetti monster. But if they’re teaching creative design, they may as well teach the flying spaghetti monster.
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I found this “Spaghetti Monster” thing to be QUITE worthwhile.
To summarize my appreciation of it, I would say that, yes, it IS ridiculous. But that compares it equally to most ALL religions.
If one thinks openly about it, there is no more proof of Jesus, classic Christian “God”, the Bible…
To accept this Spaghetti M. concept automatically is no more ridiculous than to accept, without EVIDENCE, all of the precepts of Christianity.
If you are a Christian believer (or Buddhist or whatever), you might be offended by these remarks. But, if you were to come from another planet and hear of Christianity and all of its concepts, especially if you were of an andvanced, science/logic-sophisticated culture… one that views something with a “that makes sense” or “that’s totally unbelievable” set of attitudes… you would likely roll your eyes and think “WHERE did these folks get THESE ideas?”.
Try to forget that you were brought up, from day one, being told, “This is the truth” about religion(s).
(If you were) Then read the Bible, with its incongruities, illogical declarations, beyond-reason stories… THEN think about HOW religion(s) came about: they were concocted in a time of ignorance as to how to explain wonderful, horrid, amazing and confusing “things” in this beautiful world in which we live. Mankind likes to, in his ego, think that he understands his world. We all want to say that we know what is going on, It makes us feel safe… protected…warm and fuzzy.
THEN, think about how certain factions in our world, for millennia, found that they could, through that fear and ignorance, lead and control the populace by perpetuating and elaborating the fairy tales, all the while guaranteeing afterlife and eternal joy, etc. It surely does work well.
Why can’t mankind simply accept that there are some things which are beyond our knowledge?… that we can’t know everything and there will always be mystery as to what it’s all about? There is a lot of fun in that…just like the fun when you are fooled by a magician. When you see the trick revealed, you say,
“OH…. OK…. “, and the “OOOHHHHH”-factor is gone.
I don’t BELIEVE in this S-Monster. But I don’t believe in GOD, either. I am NOT an atheisth. I DO believe in SOME sort of universal connection, spirit, or whatever… That and the hidden “magic” as to “what’s it all about” keeps me fascinated a LOT…. without all of the kneeling and praying and building churches and real estate/banking empires in Rome, I have so much MORE time to study a leaf or a bug or the REST of the planet and be TOTALLY blown away at how incredibly amazing all of THAT is.
Religion is unfounded imagination…teen romance without consummation.
But, through all of that, I am a VERY spiritual person. One can have that wonderful glow without the clutter of all of those STORIES. WITH those stories, we have built societies that waste time and kill people …MASSES of people. There are better and more pointed and fruitful occupations of our time in which to involve ourselves.
That is what the Spaghetti Monster is all about…
In my opinion.
PLEASE let me know that you received this. AND, I am happy to hear any contrary views.
Drop me a line.
-Sumshee
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Something I wrote years ago to, as succinctly as possible, condense the thought which I expressed earlier;
*****************************************
POINTS ABSURD
Religions are a noble thought!
Though they try, they just are not
complete in what they do begin:
asking what is God and sin.
The problems that do seem to be
are in the vast complexity
of trying to convince this man
to do the very best he can.
Tablets, scrolls and manuscripts;
no one really knows which fits
the key hole of our universe.
There are so many what is worse,
they all just preach the Golden Rule.
I don’t think myself a fool
in need of children’s teaching-tales
of burning bushes, gobbling whales
and stories long since stretched far out
beyond the truth and into doubt
with story tellers’ flailing arms
and parables all full of charms
of things that simply could not be.
I find it hard to think that “HE”
wanted all this to transpire,
when all we need is to aquire
an understanding of some right,
so that we may sleep at night.
-Sumshee
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wooooooooww oh my goshh……i did’nt think people would actually beleive in such a thing until my frend showed me this page….im suprised
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The FSM managed to stop creationism being taught in school.
All the debate about evoultion was not able to do that
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Very nice writing Sumshee.
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This is so ridiculously funny, I think I laughed until I cried.
Seriously, people. Believe in God, it’s not such a waste of ypour time as this is.
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Great poem, Sumshee! RAmen!
As for poor, poor Emilee: You must first ask yourself why you are so angry! (How is it even possible to be enraged with curiosity?)
– I sense that you have great frustration, perhaps even feel a deep betrayal, at the slowly dawning realization that there might not be a Religion out there with all the answers. Or with ANY of the answers, for that matter.
Yup, that’s right. You will have to find your own answers. Asking the right question — “Why spaghetti?” — is a very good place to start. (One possible answer — Why NOT spaghetti?)
By all that is Good and Noodly,
RAmen
“It is a fine thing to establish one’s own religion in one’s heart, not to be dependent on tradition and second-hand ideals. Life will seem to you, later, not a lesser but a greater thing.” — D. H. Lawrence (1885 – 1930)
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Seriously, do these people actually exist?
When did people lose the ability to notice satire?
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response to 108.
I will believe in whatever i want, and that is his noodley appendage RA men
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well Lully-chan, technically its possible to eat jesus too, its called cannibalism, you can eat pretty much every deity that is in religion so why should spaghetti be so offensive to you?
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Sumshee–
Brilliant poem. Absolutely brilliant.
RAmen
ET
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What I understood this to be was a protest against holding one religion over any other. What proof is there in any religion? This just happens to be alot more entertaining than sitting in church while some guy talks at you.
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Why pirates?
Because we couldn’t find the ninja, obviously. But then, that’s not that surprising. We’d probably have a better chance of finding God than a ninja. At least he doesn’t wear all black and skulk about on rooftops … that we know of.
As for proof, I believe someone mentioned the chart. We have a chart. With numbers and everything. Also, I suspect there’s ink and paper involved, so that just adds credibility.
P.S. I’m glad we moved from ridiculous to rediculous. Eventually we’ll go on to redeculous and we can save a fortune on ‘i’s as his Noodliness has no doubt intended.
P.P.S. See Also, ‘relegeon’.
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“And why pirates?? What proof do you have??? Someone get back to me. I must know.”
Have you not SEEN the CHART?! O_o
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this religion seems to make as much sense as everything else in this world. So what, I worship the sister goddess of FSM, FRM, Flying Ramen Monster. just ninjas, not pirates (but pirates still important). so RAmen to the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monsters!!!
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Dearest emilee
Your frequent exclamation marks truly convey your enraged state.
so i decided i’m enraged at how enraged you are !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but im not enraged at you!!!! im just enraged and rage and being enraged by original enragement!!! Enraging as it is, being enraged often enrages others!!!
!!!!
love conor
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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All religions are rediculous that’s the point.
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do you mean ridiculous, or REDiculous? i have never known ridicule to be red. hehe. REDiculous. thats possibly the funniest thing I’ve read all day. I’m going to start sayign that from now on! so anyway, thank you for carrying in the great tradition of english-mangling-leading-to-new-words-on-the-internet. We salute you.
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I love how he says this isnt hatemail, and then winds up having three posts in ‘Hate Mail’. irony is awesome :).
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It is not everyday that you find an theological argument that is both intellectually and gastronomically satisfying; on this basis alone please consider me a new convert.
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Obviously he has not been blessed with the Divine talent of sarcasm, as given by His Noodlyness.
I’ve only been touched by His Noodly Appendages today and I feel truly enlightened, Lol. I’m very glad someone else has had the good sense to make religion fun(ny).
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OMG! this is absolutly CRAZy! and retarded who is going to believe that there is a freakin [flying speghtti monster] thats just soo fraking wierd!
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ours is no more ridiculous than any other. i think Scientology is the most ridiculous though.
anyway, most religions are basically equally rediculous, and that is the Pastafarians main point.
you are free to kiss my ass.
RAMEN
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Long live the all mighty FSM who by the logic of any other religion.. probably exists XDXD
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I don’t really believe in the Flyingspaghettimonster. It’s just really fun to talk about! XD What I do believe is that there is a energy which has created all of us. We come up with many name for this “energy” which supports all religions. So yes I believe in God and the Flyingspaghettimonster, there are one in a way.
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let me take a minute to quote you on something:
“…your all fucking crazy…and this is not hate mail in any way…”
…yeah, ok then.
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The Lord Spagetti Monster prevails above us all
he reaaches all and hears all that fall
“The almighty who soars high above;
The strings reach out grasp with love;
Evolution science the one main truth;
Atoms round and strings like plant roots;
meatballs, noodles present these atoms and strings;
Oh mighty lord forget these manly sins;
For those who chose not to Beleive;
A day will come when you too Beleive;
Spagetti monster is science, philosophy and all;
The universe was all created withs noodles and balls.
All Hail Supreme Spagetti Monster!
All who do Not Shed Science! Shed Reality! Shed Philospphy
Because truth is Spagetti Monster.”
Quoted from Messiah 12:35 Book of Spagetti Monster
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“In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
Hooray! Ye has got some of the point!
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‘OH YOUR GREAT BEARDLINESS!!!’
‘ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY INVSIBLE BEADED MAN IN THE SKY WHO CAN FLY!!!’
Fix’d.
Like, how is believing in the FSM, semolina be upon Him, any sillier than believing in a giant bearded man who created the universe?
srsly
Also: ‘Why pirates??’
Can ninjas do this?
http://www.howstrange.com/gallery/yoda_pirate.jpg
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Hi, alright. You want explanations, I’ll give it to you.
First of all, I’m gonna get flamed for this so you better appreciate it. This religion is a mockery of Christianity specifically, and religion as a whole. We are simply saying THIS religion has the same amount of proof as any other. We could make this absolutely as absurd as possible, and still have the same amount of proof as any other religion. Hell, we have MORE proof than Christianity. We don’t ACTUALLY believe there is a Flying Spaghetti Monster, people will quote me saying, “YES WE DO!” but I’m here to tell you we don’t. This is 100% the truth. It’s a way to protest any kind of Intelligent Design being taught in schools, because if they teach that, they have to teach ours. I apoogize it enraged you. I hope this cleared some things up.
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
-GM
RAmen
If you have any questions or simply want to discuss the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net
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emily, honey, I think this is just too hard for you. How about just working on your spelling. Maybe you could do something with that.
kk
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
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@ 134 – Chilled – ,
Isn’t that how everybody’s god is created? Remember the first rule of the computer:
Garbage In :: Garbage Out.
Google was not created in 1611. It is not holy. It is a search-engine. Try this:
I’ve attached a link to a talk by Dr. Andy Thomson who discusses measurements that correlate neuroscience to human religious needs and brain responses. Let’s listen to it carefully and critically:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iMmvu9eMrg
It seems to me that it correlates our physiological needs as helpless infants with our psychological fears as adults as far as MRI brain activity is concerned.
RAmen
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Definition of ‘religious’:
concerned with sacred matters or religion or the church
Since this website is a satire (you can look that definition up all by yourself), and I, and many other Pastafarians, are atheists, we are not religious. I have no concern for sacred matters because things that are sacred are dubbed so by people and are apparently excellent reasons for starting wars. I am also not concerned with religion; other than the fact that I think it is a horrible, hypocritical, scamming institution. I am also not concerned with church because in general, they are just having a “my church is bigger and prettier than your church!” battle. I would even relate it to boys comparing their dick sizes.
I am not a god (if I was I would be invincible, and I’m not), and I haven’t made one up. The FSM is performing miracles everyday. Just check out the rest of this website.
Oh, and I am sure I have read much more of the buybull than you have. I was a Christian for 22 years. Now I know that god is a hateful, vengeful creature who toys with man for his own pleasure. He asks his followers to kill, rape, and pillage. If that is what you want to be a part of, go for it. Not for me. I grew up. Judging from your lack of knowledge concerning spelling, grammar, and reasoning skills you have not.
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Ok so im guessing that in your 20 years of being a ‘Christian’ you hav prayed for the sick to be healed, seen the lame healed, demons cast out, received a word of knowledge for people you have never met yet the Lord tells you they were molested when they where younger or tried to commit suicide, most of these things Ive done or personally witnessed, however this is not why i believe in the Lord, but because of my personal relationship with Him and because i can hear His voice, if you havnt experienced any of the above its very possible that you have actualy never met Jesus,commited your life to Him and as a result, never actually lived the normal ‘normal’ Christian life which i mention above. I can see that a lot of you are offended by God because something bad happend to you, or nothing happend when u expected something. Just a silly thought to ponder on. If I die and im right about everything, i go to heaven and you go to hell, if you are right, we both go nowhere. So im either goin nowhere or heaven, and your goin nowhere or hell, my odds are a little better it seems, so just make sure that in that 99% of the things of what have been or will ever be and that which you have no knowledge of, God is possibly there. Sorry about my grammar, spelling, etc. English is not my first language, so im actualy quite impressed with myself. Blessings
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Oh and if you enjoy reading a good book, try ‘More than a carpenter’, by Josh Mcdowell, quite an eye opener
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You people have converted me!!!
thank you so much for showing me the way… I saw this site, walked down the stairs and had a steaming plate of spaghetti with two meat balls shoved in my face by my mom…
thank you so much for showing me the way
i truly believe that FSM in all his greatness will touch these poor people and show them the way…
may Grog be with you.
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Two words: Spell Check.
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I do not accept the argument “believe in god so you have better odds JUST IN CASE there is an afterlife”. That is called Pascal’s Wager, and it is ridiculous. Your relationship is based on fear, not on love. Not to mention, you are now betting that you have actually chosen the right god out of the 5,000+ gods that have been created throughout history. May want to say a prayer to all of them, everyday, just in case.
Your assumptions are offensive. I have seen “demons” cast out. I spoke in tongues. I fell out in the spirit. I danced before the lord. I gave and received prophesies. I have had experiences with “dark forces”. I prayed for people to be healed. Witnessed supposed miracles. I am still an atheist now. It has nothing to do with something bad happening to me. I actually became an atheist because of a happy event. My husband and I had many long and thoughtful conversations about religion. It was from that point that I began to do my own research. I wanted god to exist. I did all the research from that point of view. My choice to no longer be a Christian had nothing to do with not leading a “normal” Christian life. It had to do with the fact that I did research, studied history and philosophy, debated people, and read books.
As for your book, he is basing this book on the assumption that Jesus actually existed. A fact that cannot actually be proven. The Roman’s kept excellent records… still somehow no mention of all of this. No proof of the slaughter of the innocents. The Herod and Jesus timelines don’t even line up. Not to mention that the entire story of Jesus is almost word for word like the story of Horace from ancient Egypt. So a book based on unproven fact and assumption doesn’t do much for me in the way of making me believe something.
Oh, and if you are hearing voices, then you should really see someone about that. It isn’t normal, and could be the starting symptoms of schizophrenia (mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. Distortions in perception may affect all five senses, including sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch, but most commonly manifest as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social or occupational dysfunction).
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@ 137 – Chilled – ,
You’ve not answered the question that I posed to you in #134 above. However, your response to Jesso indicates that your level of commitment is that of a gambler at the card table.
You’ve come to our website, and you’ve obviously ignored the directive to read the Open Letter and the “About” tab material. You could have learned that our purpose is the exclusion of religious mythology from the science curricula of the public schools.
In the mean time, since you’ve proposed your own mythology, it is up to you to prove to us the existence of your deity. Mis-quoting from a Hebrew/ Koine book that you probably can’t read is not accepted as proof. You must know the language, who wrote it, when it was written, and the politics and economics of the authors and editors before we can have a clear rational discussion about it.
“How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, ‘This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed’? Instead they say, ‘No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.’” – Carl Sagan
I believe that all facets of religion were created by and for people, and that religion is an attempt by people to answer cosmic questions using the best knowledge and data that were available at the time. In the lives of all religions, it seems to have been standard practice for the clergy to define orthodoxy and enforce dogma for the exclusive advantage of said clergy. Whenever some body questions or up-dates the dogma in any way, it is always fought fiercely by the clergy. See: Rome vs Christians; The Inquisition; The Reformation; Galileo; Science. There is not one example of a peaceful transition in the religious world.
RAmen
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Jesso, Im really confused,who healed those people you prayed for? And how can you have a relationship with the Lord without hearing His voice, what made you prophecy? If you met the God i knw, u would know He’s not wicked, you wouldnt say that if you werent offended, you wouldnt deface Gods character jus because you dnt believe in Him. I knw there are a lot of churches that are sif moneymaking,corrupt businesses, but God is not involved in that. what made you doubt that very 1st time,what made u feel this miracle working,relational God isnt real anymre? What made you doubt the word that says, whoever drinks of the water I shall give him, will never thirst, i know many people that never thirsted again. In this reply im not tryin to defend my God or to say that your rediculous or stupid, Im just interested,and cant grasp how, once youve tasted and seen that the Lord is good, turn away, Ive seen far to many lives restored, bondages broken and lives renewed to ever believe that Gods heart is not to heal and restore us, and ill be honest I havnt exactly walked intimately with the Lord for 20yrs, but what I have seen so far, excites me, and cant wait to see what restoration the Lord still wants to do in my life and those around me. I truly have joy in my salvation, and knw that i knw that i knw, God, and I mean Jesus Christ, lives and reigns. Blessings
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