I find this religion absolutly rediculous. In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.
Someone…please change my opinion/views on this matter. I want to know if this is real and why you beleive. But until i get answers…your all fucking crazy. I mean listen to yourselves!!!!
‘OH YOUR GREAT NOODLYNESS!!!’
‘ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY INVSIBLY MOSTER MADE OUT OF SPAGHETTI THAT CAN FLY!!!’
…do you hear yourselves when you speak??? Im not trying to be mean, and this is not hate mail in any way im just curious to the point where it enrages me!!!
Someone please answer my questions!!!!
Explain this religion to me!!
why spaghetti? And why pirates?? What proof do you have??? Someone get back to me. I must know.
-Emilee
I find this religion absolutly rediculous
Published by Bobby Henderson September 22nd, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 143 Comments
143 Responses to “I find this religion absolutly rediculous”
Welcome Emilee!
You have taken the first step toward freeing your mind. Do you want to take the red pill or the blue pill?
Google the word “satire”.
Read the letter and responses to the Kansas School board.
Then come back here and we can start an intelligent discussion.
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You also apparently find the use of a dictionary “absolutly rediculous.”
> it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off
> to any type of religion at all.
His Noodly Appendage has done its work well! But all that He requires of you is that you don’t foist your religion on anyone else. Oh, and maybe enjoy a nice, hot plate of spaghetti. You know you want to. It pleases you in a deep, soulful way…
> im just curious to the point where it enrages me!!!
Your emotions can be so strong that they become other emotions? Do you ever have an emotion turn into giddiness? That would be cool.
RAmen
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I….um…..I think we may have done something…. right?
Seriously, Emilee, the whole point of this is questioning religion. Not rejecting it- just thinking critically about it. That’s why we reject ID, and other forms of dogma.
In order to point up the logical inconsistencies, Bob has turned to satire. Satire is intentionally ridiculous.
Impressively enough, he also seems to have founded a philosophical belief system in the process; which is extremely cool, but an unintended side effect. I doubt it actually qualifies as a religion. We aren’t reverent enough.
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This probably fake, but just in case it is not:
Emilee,
Open the wondrous book known as the Dictionary, and look under the word “Satire” – there you shall find the answers you seek. RAmen.
-Sarah
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“I find this religion absolutly rediculous. In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
This is indeed what we are trying to achieve (aswell as spreading the word of tolerance). Also, you’re spelling ridiculous wrong.
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This religion finds you ridiculous. But if you have been turned off of all religions, than FSM has done it’s job.
Sauce be with you.
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Why not spaghetti, why not pirates? Whats the difference between a religion that worships spaghetti and a religion that worships snakes? Whats the difference between the belief that pirates are divine beings and the belief that people born on 6/6/06 are pure evil. Whats the difference between eating a cracker and eating spaghetti at church.
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Do you actually know how to read?
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Well, there is Alot of more proof that there are spaghetti and pirates in this world than there are any character like this Jesus could ever excist.
Well, i should also add that it is more polite than ANY other religion that i know of! :D
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Of course you don’t understand Emilee, don’t worry, there is a simple explaination for this.
The problem is that there are only so many real people in the world. The rest of you guys are just filler.
If you were real, then an intimate knowledge of cosmic events would come as natural to you as say doing multivariable calculus in your head, or brain surgery.
It’s ok, just try to accept what we say and don’t try to over analyze it, you really don’t have it in you.
Don’t worry. Watch Oprah, that’s what’s she’s there for, to keep you from worrying..
cho’
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Emilee, you are so close… so close! All you have to do is read the open letter right on the front page (you know, where it says ’start here’) and your eyes will open. A great mass of confusion and doubt will lift from you, and you will be touched by His Noodly Appendage. RAmen!
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I find your massacre of the english language absolutely ridiculous (note correct spelling).
When will one of you nuts present a coherent argument?\
“…do you hear yourselves when you speak???” – erm, actually, what you read on the internet isn’t speech. We can’t hear it (unless you count the keystroke noises). And as such, we can’t hear it (unless we read it back to ourselves out loud).
“Your(sic) all fucking crazy” and then “I’m not trying to be mean”-
ORLY!?!
“In fact, it is so rediculously (sic) stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
NOW You’re getting it!!!!
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What proof do we have;
1. Milions of people share our faith, millions of people can’t be wrong.
2. If there was no Spashetti Monster, how do you explain the complexity of the Universe?
3. If you have faith, you will be rewarded in Heaven with a beer volcano.
4. What proof do you have that he DOESN’T exist?
If this isn’t proof enough, you should probably abandon religion and become a humanaist or something wierd.
Pirates;
1. The FSM moves in mysterious ways, we do not know why he likes pirates, just that he does. If he didn’t why would he punish the decline in pirate numbers with the rise of global warming.
2. The mighty FSM may have chosen pirates because they seem a little inappropriate, he seems to have a keen sense of irony (which he created after bronzy and goldy)
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Dear Emilee,
It’s called satire. Look it up.
-Jeebuz
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Hi Emilee,
I sugest you first start off with the letter send to the kansas school board.
.
Then, since this is religion, we are not the ones who have to proof our deity (although we can).
It’s yours to disproof it. Sounds rediculous? Yes. It is.
.
I am also very turned off by religion, and the FSM is my tool in every discussion. I’m truly Touched by His Noodlyness. (get it?)
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Has. Not. Read. Site.
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Please read this site. It will explain the religion, the spaghetti and the pirates.
In the end, it’s spaghetti because, well, that just what it is. He is what He is, and he is noodly.
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Grammar, diction, spelling etc. Jesus Christ, go and fucking kill yourself before your careworker wastes another day on you.
RAmen
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Proof? We have lots. Buy the gospel, read… if you can! ;)
Oh… and please learn to spell. ;)
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You’re turned off by ALL religion because of this?
Mission Accomplished.
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we have just as much proof as Christians do… and much more pasta.
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One word: Satire.
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Why spaghetti? Because that is what His Noodlyness is made of.
Why pirates? Because they are the chosen people of the FSM.
As for proof, we have a graph, which is more proof than most religions have.
Why do you need proof for religion? It is supposed to be about faith. May the Noodly Appendage touch you and remove your doubt.
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Emilee, this is really a big topic, but on the offchance that you’re asking these questions in earnest, the only advice that I can offer you is to look up the word “satire” in the dictionary. Then you’ll understand that the fact that you’re “turned off to any type of religion at all” is pretty much the whole point. Well, that and this website is just so much darn fun!
Thanks for your question and I hope this helps. By the way, you really shouldn’t use the F-word. It’s not nice.
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Because it is FUNNY!
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You should probably learn to spell and write correctly if you want the people you’re insulting to take you seriously…
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I find this religion absolutly rediculous. In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.
~Good, all religions are bullshit
.
Someone…please change my opinion/views on this matter. I want to know if this is real and why you beleive. But until i get answers…your all fucking crazy. I mean listen to yourselves!!!!
~How are we any different than Xians or any other religious group?
.
‘OH YOUR GREAT NOODLYNESS!!!’
~What are we supposed to call Our Great Noodly Master?
.
‘ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY INVSIBLY MOSTER MADE OUT OF SPAGHETTI THAT CAN FLY!!!’
~Better than all hail the invisible sky daddy, we know spaghetti exists so that’s more evidence in our favor than any other religion
.
…do you hear yourselves when you speak??? Im not trying to be mean, and this is not hate mail in any way im just curious to the point where it enrages me!!!
~First, yes it is, now calm down and take a few breaths. What’s so different about praising The FSM instead of a cow or an invisible sky daddy?
.
Someone please answer my questions!!!!
Explain this religion to me!!
~Just did
.
why spaghetti? And why pirates?? What proof do you have??? Someone get back to me. I must know.
~We have as much proof as any other religion that our Noodly Master exists. As for pirates, there is a graph that shows the rise of global warming while the rate of Pirates are declining, showing proof that Pirates are divine beings
.
-Emilee
~Mariner
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If this site has turned you off to all kinds of religion then it has been a success. The FSM simply demonstrates how ridiculous all religions are. All the best.
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Wow.
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Emilee,
I glad to see someone with a somewhat open mind. You of course have every right to ask questions before accepting any religion and we, pastafarians, prefer that you do.
The first thing you should know about us is that we regect dogma outright. Meaning that although we have the basic belief in the FSM we are open to changing those beliefs if someone makes a compelling argument showing us where we have gone wrong. The fact that there are as many of us as there are is a testiment to the lack of proof that has been offered to disprove our ideas and theories about the creation of the universe.
Now, that we have that in place, I’ll tell you a bit about us. Starting with why a flying speghetti monster is our god. Like with any god we cannot prove it without a shadow of doubt, but we do have evidence that supports the claim.
Suppose we accept some of the Christian beliefs about god speaking with various individuals. Since god had to “come” then he obviously had to come from somewhere. Meaning that physical laws still apply to god in whatever form he takes. Now consider the fact that across the world at any given moment there are thousands of people who claim that god is helping them. If god is dependant upon physical laws then the only way he could be helping all these people at once is if he had thousands of hands that could reach across the world to be in each of those places. And if god is dependant upon natural laws, then there also must be a limit to how many limbs or appendages he/she/it can have and it also follows that the smaller each of those appendages are the more of them there can be, so we reduce them down to the minimum we can get them, to a thin noodle and we gain the most appendages allowing god to affect as many things as is possible at once. Now, we may be wrong. He may be made of ramen noodles, or even angel hair pasta, but we can’t be sure, and saying that the particular noodles He is made of is spaghetti is simply a leap of faith until we can gain more evidence.
Our theory that god is an FSM is also supported by the theory of intelligent falling, which states that things don’t fall to the ground because of some force we have yet to identify the true cause of called gravity, but rather because the FSM pushes everything down to earth with his noodly appendages, and concordant with the limited appendages theory, with the increase in global population there are fewer appendages to go around and so on average people grow taller with each new generation.
——
Have you ever looked at the world and wondered, “What is going on? How could any god let the world become this full of chaos? Shouldn’t He have created a world full of peace and harmony”? Well wonder no further as the answer is right before your eyes. We Pastafarians believe that in the beginning the FSM created the beer volcano and the stripper factory, and after partaking of the beer volcano (remember He hadn’t created anything else yet so it was pretty much the only thing to do) His judgement was impaired and so through the rest of the creation process we see the mistakes that He made as His drunken mind told Him what would be a good idea. This is the theory of Unintelligent Design. Just look at the duckbilled platypus. It is impossible to believe that that was created by a sober god.
Finally, we know that Pirates are His chosen people because we see what is happening to the world without them. Global temperatures have been rising for decades, and started rising long before industrialization began spewing carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, so that cannot be the cause. But we look and see that the temperatures started to rise at a very similiar time to the point in history where we experienced a sharp drop off in the global pirate population (see the graph on the evidence page).
I hope this helps you make an informed decision Emilee, and remember our guarantee:
Try us for 30 days and if you don’t like us your old god will most likely take you back.
RAmen
Peace and Long Life,
Zane
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Despite knowing how difficult it is to get freethinking atheists, rationalist, and other such secularists to congregate, I will respectfully have to ask you to quit helping. Why is it that the people with the least to say always seem to say it the loudest? I am sorry to say Emilee, that this “Religion” finds you equally ridiculous. I want you to go to your room and think about what you have done and don’t come out until you have been touched by His “Noodly Apendage”.
Peace, Hugs & Kisses
P.S.
Does anyone else hear think that most of the “crazies” and “fundies” in the world, and in particular this site, need desperatly to get LAID!
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It’s spelled ridiculously – from the root ridicule Etymology:Latin ridiculosus (from ridiculum jest, from neuter of ridiculus) or ridiculus, literally, laughable, from ridēre to laugh. Closely related to satire. And hey, if it’s turned you off to any ridiculous religion (being redundant), then our job is done. Congratulation’s on freeing yourself from belief in any imaginary Jewish zombies, pasta monsters, or pink unicorns that didn’t create the world.
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I find it absolutely rIdiculous that you cannot understand SATIRE.
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Heh heh. Emilee, one day you’ll be old enough to understand. In the meantime, though, please copy your note above and ask those VERY SAME QUESTIONS of the nearest christian. Maybe your parents?
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Must be either a troll, “rediculously stupid,” or “fucking crazy.” Either way, nothing said will change Emilee’s perception of Pastafarianism.
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Emilee,
You are almost right, this religion is not ‘rediculous’ (sic) but it is most certainly ridiculous and that is the point.
Why not spaghetti? Why not pirates? Proof?, in a faith based religion, no sorry can’t help you there.
Had you done a little research you would not have needed to ask these questions and therefore I suspect you are approximately 13 years old and very lazy.
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“do you hear yourselves when you speak??? Im not trying to be mean, and this is not hate mail in any way im just curious to the point where it enrages me”
i dont think its possible to be curious to the point of being enraged, you get enraged cause your angry, not curious.
“I mean listen to yourselves!!!!”
“…do you hear yourselves when you speak???”
Have you listened to yourself at all in that paragraph and yes, yes we do, we have granted EARS by our Noodly Master.
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So sad. I assume that you’re a christian, so listen to yourself. “oh, old man in the sky..please don’t burn us! We’re sorry that the woman ate from the magic tree after being tricked by the talking snake! Thank you for sending yourself so that you could be tortured by us!” etc, etc. Turn that inquiry around…what PROOF do you have? We have a book too…
Scott
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we have the same amount of proof and sense put into this religion as christianity and all the other mainstream ones. i fail to see what about his holy noodly appendage confuses you.
why, the FSM is very logical. you should read the gospel of the FSM, it will clear up any confusion or discrepancies you have here. only then can you see the true light.
arrrrrrrrr.
RAmen.
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Well, not all answers should be served in golden bowls, in fact I really think the most important answers come after a great deal of work and endurance.
In other words, why don´t you take the time to READ the documents in this site and answer your questions by yourself, it ain´t that hard.
Hail the AlTomaighty
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Well, obviously you haven’t looked at the handy graph. And personally, I find the idea of a Flying Spaghetti Monster more believable than a Big Old Invisible Man Who Lives In The Sky.
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Emilee, its ok. You got it, you aren’t supposed to take the FSM too seriously. This is a genuine parody, nothing more. It is very stupid, and very rediculous. But you see, there’s the point. If you read the Gospel, it is revealed that besides a very few meager assumptions, the whole ideal is based on the use of perverted logic. The idea is that science is a very special philosophy, and “theories” such as Intelligent Design are not appropriate science, because although they are based on logic, so is FSM. Think about it, decline in pirates almost seems linked to global warming. Yet we know it isn’t. Henderson is trying to demonstrate the hilarity that had ought to be taught in schools if ID is allowed. And all the time we never leave behind logic, just rationality.
Finally, FSM followers have a problem with ID supporters, who are simply messing with genuine science and the secular classroom for the sake of their personal ideas of God. Legally, politically, FSM is a true religion. From a political perspective, we can make a point from calling this our “official” religion. But spiritually, of course it isn’t. The only spiritual teaching is tolerance and respect, so while we don’t encourage you to seek out conservative or evangelical institutions, of course you should look into tolerant, open-minded ideas that make more sense. Go for it. We hope that cleared it up a bit. Nick
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Emilee.
I can spell better english than you do and english is not even my firs language. How can you understand this if you cannot even write correctly in your own native tongue?
let’s brief this to you…wwww.venganza.org
on the first page there is the following statement, which turns to be a link, that says “If you are new to the site, you’ll probably want to start here with the: (big bold blue fonts) OPEN LETTER TO THE KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD”
If this doesn’t satisfy you enough, you can go to the About section.
You might want to do this before you start spitting stupid shit like that and asking us if we hear ourselves when we talk.
Do you read something before you make an analisys of it, you dumb woman?
It is called proof reading!
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“I find this religion absolutly rediculous. In fact, it is so rediculously stupid that it has turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
This is high praise indeed, I believe his Noodlyness was pleased by our devotions on International Talk Like A Pirate Day and is rewarding us with fan mail.
“I must know”
Emilee, your inquiring mind, capacity for critical thought and thirst for understanding do you credit; that gets you nowhere with us religious types though, we’re more into blind devotion and obsessive extortions to ‘believe’.
All hail the Carbohydrate Creator, Spaghetti be thy name, may we be touched by his noodly appendages, even in ways that many would regard as inappropriate, join with us Emilee and together we can all bathe in the warmth of his sauce.
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Echoing what others have said before myself…
“…turned me off to any type of religion at all.”
You’re on the right track to enlightenment my dear. Such is the way of our noodley lord and meatball master (may he be gently boiled). As the great philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti said…
“You have to be a light to yourself. Not the light of a professor, or an analyst, or psychologist, or the light of Jesus, or the Buddho. You have to be a light to yourself. In a world that is utterly becoming dark.”
Unfortunately, Jiddu didn’t have the privilege of the FSM in his day so I would gather that he would say that “self” equates “FSM.” Praise be unto he, the most complex of carbohydrates. The amylopectin of the infinite.
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Hey Emilee, why do Xtains call Jesus the “Lamb of God”? Is that any more absurd than a Flying Clump of Spaghetti as a deity? How is a piece of bread suddenly turned into god. How can 10,000 wafers of bread in a bowl simultaneously be god? Rediculous (as you would spell it), isn’t it?
Fact is all religions are a form of insanity because every single one of them respresents beliefs which have no grounding in fact.
When a crazy man says an invisible man is out to get him, and torure and kill him because the crazy man believes he wronged the invisible man, we put him on a psych ward and give him anti-psychotic drugs.
When a Xtain says god is out to get us because we “sinned against him” we call that guy reverend and put $25 in the collection plate.
Notice any similarities between the reverend and the crazy man?
The only difference between the two is that society has decided to accept the reverends delusion as true. That acceptance is arbitrary and can be withdrawn by society at any time. In fact it has been withdrawn on numerous occasions. Do you know that in its history mankind has worshipped over 10,000 deities as the “one true god”.
Think the Xtian deity is unique? Well consider that thousands of years BEFORE Christ reputedly walked the Earth, there were literally two dozen religions that advanced the idea that the son of god became human to “save mankind” by being crucified and rising from the dead three days later. The reason why so many religions took this myth relates to the fact that the Sun (synonymous with the Son of God to ancient peoples), sets in the south during the winter solstice near the Southern Cross constellation. On that day, December 21st, the sun is at its weakest and therefore was considered to have “died on the Cross”. Since it remains in the region of Southern cross for 3 days before it begins setting at a more Northerly latitude, it is said to be reborn (rise from the dead) on the third day. Many of these other earlier religions have the same details about their “son of god” as does Xtainity. For instance, many of these religious have their “son of god” change water into wine, walk on water, raise the dead, have twelve disciples, lecture in the temple at age 12, start public life at age 30, be born of a virgin, ascend into heaven after the work is done, and be called “the lamb of god”.
In view of this, how is it possible to believe Jesus (whose actual name was Jeshua, Jesus is a bad translation) actually had a historicity that was congruent with the account in the gospels. Isn’t it more likely that whoever put together his biography simply copied and plagiarized accounts of earlier deities which christians maintain are fictions?
Name one historical personage who actually lived a life who had his life detailed in an earlier fictional account. Did anyone write a novel about a guy who wrote an almanac and discovered electricity by flying a kite? No, there’s no fictional account of the life of Ben Frainklin that precedes his actual historical existence is there?
Is there a fictional account of a crippled man who becomes president of the United States and leads the nation out of a worldwide depression and to victory in a global war? What’s that you say, no such novel exists which details the life of Franklin Delano Roosevelt before he lived it.
How about a fictional account of a girl who joins the mousketeers as a child, loses her virginity to a fellow mouseketeer, becomes a mega pop star, gets divorced, has a substance abuse problem, shaves her head, gets photographed not wearing panties a couple of times, has a nervous breakdown, loses custody of her kids, and loses weight and cuts a new alblum? What’s that you say, no fictional account of the life of Brittney Spears exists which precedes her actual existence?
Big suprise isn’t it? People don’t have fictionalized accounts of their lives lying around which precede their actual existence. At least real people don’t.
So what’t that gotta make Christ, and what does that make the assertions and beliefs proffered by Xtainity. In your own word “rediculous.”
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Emilee, Please don’t take this goofy stuff too seriously. I would ask that you don’t let things like this put out the fire for whatever it is you are searching for. It sounds like you maybe looking for answers. I’ve found my own, but I’m not about to debate them on such a ridiculous web-site. I would like to also offer that the Bible is perceived in many different ways. Some of it is metaphoric, while some, literal. Please don’t look at the Bible itself as “religion.” Catholicism, Judaism, Baptist.. Those are “religions.” If you want to know where you come from, I only ask that you take a look around you in the day, and again in the night. Away from the city lights. Think about how you feel, your thoughts, your dreams.. When you die, do you really think that your thoughts will just end? I’m not going to tell you what I think you should believe in. I think you should draw your own conclusions by educating yourself and by determining what you believe by Faith. good luck.
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I find the spelling of your name absolutely ridiculous.
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“this is not hate mail in any way” hmmm, really.
1. Sentences spelled in ALL CAPS.
2. Poor grammar/spelling.
3. No sense of humor.
4. Inability to understand simple satire.
5. Using the F-word.
6. Asking for an explanation on the website that gives just that.
Sorry Emilee, but your email has all of the signs of being hate-mail. Try again next time. RAmen!!
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Youre not only being mean but rediculous.
Proof? A religion needs proof? Now who’s the blasphemer.
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