We have taken the time to read your manifesto

Published August 13th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

WE have taken the time to read your manifesto, and we think that you are crazy!!

And i personally cannot even fathom the level of mental retardation that you are on right now. how could you even think that their is a flying spaghetti monster out there. If this flying spag-hetti monster really exist how in the world did this thing form and tell me if their was spaghetti thousands of years ago through which he can form himself and move through walls.

How old is the person who invented this flying spag-hetti monster and was it a figment of his imagination, and how could people be so stupid to actually believe this non-sense!!!!!!

And why did you choose pirates that is basiclly sayin that the killing of human beings is the result of global warming send us an email explaining your logic toward this shirade.

ONE MORE THING, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE DISAPPEARENCE OF PIRATES EVEN EFFECT GLOBAL WARMING ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. respond if you can defend your logic. thank you.

–stephen and darriel



198 Responses to “We have taken the time to read your manifesto”

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  1. Arthur Dent says:

    Stephen and Darriel, I wonder if you misspelled your names, too. Too many typos, grammatical mistakes, and outright misuse of words to pass a 6th-grade exam. I counted a dozen mistakes before I stopped, and I haven’t even finished the second paragraph!

  2. charlie says:

    Logic in religion?

    Sorry, no such thing, not in any of them. All of your questions could, for example, equally be asked about Baal, or The Great Spirit, or God, or any other diety. The answers would all be equally questionable.

    religion is a matter of faith. Faith, by definition, does not require logic. So, nothing to defend.

    But thanks for asking. Have a nice day.

  3. http://OrigamiSquared.googlepages.com says:

    Typo. In the above, I said “omnipotent, omniscient and omnipotent” while I meant “omnipotent, omniscient and omniPRESENT” Sorry! Also, I ranted longer than I expected. Sorry.

  4. BB79 says:

    How are you able to use the word ‘manifesto’ correctly and in context and still not understand what you say you read?

  5. Joe Marinara says:

    Judging by your grammar, spelling, and punctuation issues, I’m assuming someone read the manifesto to you. And for that same reason I’d be careful about throwing the phrase “mental retardation” around so freely. People in glass houses….

  6. Lady Lippy says:

    Stephen & Darriel…first: Mental retardation is a generalized, or triarchic, disorder, characterized by subaverage cognitive functioning and deficits in two or more adaptive behaviors with onset before the age of 18. Once focused almost entirely on cognition, the definition now includes both a component relating to mental functioning and one relating to the individual’s functional skills in their environment.(thanks Wikipedia). The people who contibute to the church of the flying spaghetti monster are quite functional both mentally and socially…and we can spell and grammer check too.

    secondly: We didn’t choose the pirates. Evidence suggests that the decline in pirates corresponds to the increase in global warming, but I’m sure if the FSM finds that there is another reason for global warming, he will let us know…and you know what? Even with lots of evidence, there are people out there now who don’t even believe in gloabal warming!!! That’s crazy!

    third: I’m not sure the Flying Spaghetti Monster was created…I think he just finally revealed himself when he was ready, but the evidence of his existence was there in our plates of spaghetti well before we understood the extent of his noodley goodness.

  7. Vermicelli says:

    Dont be silly, of course there was spaghetti thousands of years ago. Spaghetti has aways been here. We were made in its image. Well sort of.
    Actually it was made in ours. Its complicated really but the FSM loves us so much that he gave us his only begotten meatball. He took it back obviously. And has become a bit distant. Rarely calls anymore.

    With regard to the Pirates and Global Reheating – the data speaks for itself. And apparently for someone named Shirade as well.

  8. brian says:

    WE have taken the time to read your Bible, and we think that you are crazy!!

    And i personally cannot even fathom the level of mental retardation that you are on right now. how could you even think that their is a invisible sky daddy out there. If this sky fairy really exist how in the world did this thing form and tell me if there was God thousands of years ago through which he can form himself and move through walls.

    How old is the person who invented this “god” and was it a figment of his imagination, and how could people be so stupid to actually believe this non-sense!!!!!!

    And why did you choose martyrs that is basiclly sayin that the killing of human beings is the result of “gods will” (aka manifest destiny) send us an email explaining your logic toward this charade.

    ONE MORE THING, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE BIBLE EVEN PROOVES YOUR “GOD” ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    p.s. respond if you can defend your logic. thank you.

    -Brian

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