We have taken the time to read your manifesto

Published August 13th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

WE have taken the time to read your manifesto, and we think that you are crazy!!

And i personally cannot even fathom the level of mental retardation that you are on right now. how could you even think that their is a flying spaghetti monster out there. If this flying spag-hetti monster really exist how in the world did this thing form and tell me if their was spaghetti thousands of years ago through which he can form himself and move through walls.

How old is the person who invented this flying spag-hetti monster and was it a figment of his imagination, and how could people be so stupid to actually believe this non-sense!!!!!!

And why did you choose pirates that is basiclly sayin that the killing of human beings is the result of global warming send us an email explaining your logic toward this shirade.

ONE MORE THING, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE DISAPPEARENCE OF PIRATES EVEN EFFECT GLOBAL WARMING ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. respond if you can defend your logic. thank you.

–stephen and darriel



198 Responses to “We have taken the time to read your manifesto”

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  1. New Initite says:

    I have taken the time to read your letter, and I think that you are crazy!!

    To put it simply:
    If you are religious: Apply the same questions to your own deity.
    If you are not religious: Grow a sense of humor.

    spag-hetti sayin
    capitalization…

    Now to defend the FSM:
    The FSM was the insperation for modern spagetti
    The FSM has not reveled to us how he was created, just like the Abrahamic God, and lots of other ones
    The concept of evil pirates is anti-FSM propoganda

    This is the standard moron-response forumla.

  2. Torteh Lini says:

    Who said there IS any logic in this?

  3. Sarah says:

    Manifesto? We have a manifesto? Cool! Where can I read it?

  4. ET, the Extra Terrestrial says:

    Yes, I can see that you have read our *manifesto*. It’s obvious from your grasp of the purpose behind the satire that generated this community. It is also evident that you (plural or singular? You identify yourself/selves as both we and I) have only the most rudimentary understanding of basic English grammar, punctuation and spelling. A group of deficiencies that correlates positively with xian hate-mongers, at least in the sample collected on this site. Please note that in your … umm … correspondence above, one could easily substitute the word *god* (or Invisible Pink Unicorn, or Khali, or Cheese-Whiz, or any other deity you care to name) for the various spellings of spaghetti monster you have chosen, and the absurdity of the ideas of self-creation and of correlation equating with causation would remain unchanged.
    PLease, if it’s possible, explain what you mean by the following:
    The level of mental retardation that we are on?
    Move through walls?
    Shirade?
    Is there a drug called mental retardation? Is there something about moving through walls intrinsic to the discussion of any religious philosophy? Is a shirade something that goes over a window to keep the sun from fading the furniture?
    I’m guessing these two are between twelve and fifteen years old, from the American bible belt, and so thoroughly brainwashed by the xian adults around them that they cannot even discuss calmly the possible validity of any world view beyond their own. May they some day be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
    RAmen
    ET

  5. Fusillier says:

    A number of points here:
    Spaghetti is one word, there is no need to hyphenate it; why on earth would you do that?
    Paragraphs 2 and 3: Replace the words ‘flying spag-hetti (sic) monster with the word “God” and you mkight start to get the idea.
    Re Pirates:
    1. We have a graph that proves it
    2. 20 years ago you (and I) would probably have said “HOW IN THE WORLD CAN SOME LONELY NERD SIT IN HIS BEDROOM, TYPE SOMETHING PURILE WITH POOR GRAMMAR AND SPELLING, AND IN 2 MINS TIME THE WHOLE WORLD CAN READ IT IN THEIR BEDROOMS/OFFICES OR WHEREVER THEY HAPPEN TO BE!!!!!!!!!”
    It seemed completely implausible didn’t it, but here we are.
    Bet you don’t respond, we did.
    RAmen

  6. GummiHU says:

    Wait, we have a manifesto?

    Also, you obviously didn’t understand a thing it said.

  7. Jack says:

    If it is so crazy, why the hell did you feel the need to comment about it?

  8. http://OrigamiSquared.googlepages.com says:

    This should be fun!!
    If you guys are atheists, my deep apologies. We have tremendous respect for you guys, and count you among our ranks because of your utter rejection of dogma. I am assuming you are christian in this response. One of the things you have to realize about FSMism is that because of our rejection of dogma, you don’t even have to believe in the FSM. But I can defend our logic even accepting the existence of the spaghedeity.

    “WE have taken the time…you are crazy!!” WE have taken the time to read YOUR manifesto and think YOU are crazy. The gospel makes as much sense as the bible, in our opinion.

    “how could you even … there.” In response to “our level of mental retardation”, at least we know how capitalize, spell, and use proper punctuation. Here is a tip for you: Generally when you start a sentence with “How” (notice the capitalization) it ends with a question mark. Ignoring that, how can YOU believe that there is a giant flying bearded man in the sky who is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipotent? At least we admit our god gets pretty drunk and screws up occasionally. After all, he made closed minded people like you. Oh no I di’int.

    “how in the world did this thing form” Once again, use a question mark. Secondly, the FSM is magic, “DUH!!!!!!!!” He formed the same way your god formed. (I used to be an agnostic atheist. It was hard to argue with xians back then because I had to fight the whole ‘magic’ logic. Now that I have seen the noodlified light, I can use that logic. Yay!) And yes, there was spaghetti thousands of years ago. If you read the gospel as you claim, you should know that.

    “How old is the person who invented…” Again, use a question mark. How are we supposed to answer questions if you didn’t have any? If you read the gospel as you claim, you would know that the prophet is a 25 Y/O with a B.S. in Physics. Also, he didn’t make up FSMism any more than a controlling old man made up Christianity. The FSM always was, much like you think your god was. We have had followers since the FSM made us, but we hid it in fear of ridicule. Bobby Henderson, the Prophet, brought FSMism to the public. The FSM spoke through him, and we know this is true because the creator of the universe says so.

    “And why did you choose pirates that is basiclly sayin …email explaining your logic toward this shirade.”
    USE A FREAKING QUESTION MARK! Sorry, this question just gets to me. Pirates were not immoral. Christians felt threatened by the pirates, and so framed them as killers. I know this because the gospel you claim you read says this. Also, use spell check next time.

    “ONE MORE THING, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE DISAPPEARENCE OF PIRATES EVEN EFFECT GLOBAL WARMING ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” *sigh* Punctuation and spelling again. I don’t expect you to be able to spell every word, but for FSM’s sake run it through a spell checker! Also, have you not seen the chart showing how the decrease of pirates causes global warming? It is called circular logic. You find the result you want first, and then find evidence to support it. Xians are quite fond of it. It goes something like this: “Accepting evolution makes my brain hurt so therefore a magical bearded man who lives in the sky made a man and rib woman who was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple. The bearded man got pissed so banned them to earth and punished all of humanity for eating. He made a cosmic zombie son who he got killed so he could forgive the sinners. If you telepathically accept the zombie son as your savior and symbolically eat his flesh and drink his blood, you will go to eternal paradise. If not, you will burn forever in the center of the earth. But he loves you! This is the only explanation that makes sense!” See how useful circular logic is?

    “p.s. respond if you can defend your logic. thank you.” I did.

    “–stephen and darriel”
    http://origamisquared.googlepages.com and co.

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