We have taken the time to read your manifesto

Published August 13th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

WE have taken the time to read your manifesto, and we think that you are crazy!!

And i personally cannot even fathom the level of mental retardation that you are on right now. how could you even think that their is a flying spaghetti monster out there. If this flying spag-hetti monster really exist how in the world did this thing form and tell me if their was spaghetti thousands of years ago through which he can form himself and move through walls.

How old is the person who invented this flying spag-hetti monster and was it a figment of his imagination, and how could people be so stupid to actually believe this non-sense!!!!!!

And why did you choose pirates that is basiclly sayin that the killing of human beings is the result of global warming send us an email explaining your logic toward this shirade.

ONE MORE THING, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE DISAPPEARENCE OF PIRATES EVEN EFFECT GLOBAL WARMING ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. respond if you can defend your logic. thank you.

–stephen and darriel



198 Responses to “We have taken the time to read your manifesto”

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  1. Roderick King says:

    I do not remember who had suggested this, but it is rather simple. Pirate ships stir up ocean waters, allowing more even global heat distribution. This causes a lower air temperature. Secondly, they are sail-powered. This means that, unlike navies and pirate hunters, they are not adding the heat into their wake directly from the engines-the air has a chance to cool. It is simply the Law of Entropy. This CAN be calculated and with an extraordinarily accurate thermometer be measured. If you want to prove us wrong, get a grant from the NSF!

  2. Plague Chicken says:

    I will leave discussion of some of your points for others in the congregation. I wish to address the link between pirates and global warming. There are a few basic premises you need to understand to follow this train of thought…
    1) Humans are affecting the planet in some way – that seems reasonable in the current scientific model.
    2) More humans leads to greater planetary effects – logical enough.
    3) Pirates have been known to slay humans – thus offsetting the effects of too many people.
    3a) Traditional pirates have tended to operate at a fairly low tech level – thus obviating the need for many polluting industries. Pirates also are big on recycling – using things that others no longer possess.
    3b) There has been proof already presented by an independent agency confirming the link between lower carbon emissions and increased levels of piracy (see Somalia).

    So, from these few points, it seems reasonable to conclude that increased levels of piracy would ‘thin the herd’ and thereby offset some of the planetary pressures that the unchecked tide of humanity is exerting.

    Now, having politely answered your questions, and not having called your sanity into question, could you provide proof of any sort for the ‘invisible bearded man’ theory? Graphs would be much appreciated, thanks!

    PC

  3. Plague Chicken says:

    Oh…on an unrelated note…

    Please take advantage of the richness that science has brought us and learn to use …
    SPELLCHECK…

    thanks

    PC

  4. CaptainComma says:

    First, could you please define “shirade”? I couldn’t find that word in the dictionary. Is it a sniglet, meaning “The only true religion”?

    Second, may I suggest a book to you? http://www.amazon.com/Eats-Shoots-Leaves-Tolerance-Punctuation/dp/1592402038/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218640237&sr=8-1

    As for your question about pirates, please consult our detailed graph, which illustrates the correlation as clear as day. Perhaps the graph is too confusing for someone as low on the IQ scale as yourself. Ask your baby brother to help you out.

    rAmen

  5. Capn Tayth says:

    non-sense? spag-hetti? You sure like your hyphens.

  6. Bobert says:

    If you would take the time to look at are graph, i think you will see how pirates affect the world. Also, we only worship the jolly plundering pirates. we don’t believe in killing. i have also taken time to read the christians manifesto, and i think that is crazy. the FSM has way more proof behind it.

    RAmen

  7. A.Gweeok says:

    The FSM did not form he has always been! How did your god form??!

  8. Tall Guy says:

    I wonder what the level of mental retardation this person has in order to believe that someone could actually believe in a flying bunch of spaghetti and meatballs.

    It is surprising as to how many people actually take us seriously. That is pretty upsetting once you think about it.

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