We have taken the time to read your manifesto

Published August 13th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

WE have taken the time to read your manifesto, and we think that you are crazy!!

And i personally cannot even fathom the level of mental retardation that you are on right now. how could you even think that their is a flying spaghetti monster out there. If this flying spag-hetti monster really exist how in the world did this thing form and tell me if their was spaghetti thousands of years ago through which he can form himself and move through walls.

How old is the person who invented this flying spag-hetti monster and was it a figment of his imagination, and how could people be so stupid to actually believe this non-sense!!!!!!

And why did you choose pirates that is basiclly sayin that the killing of human beings is the result of global warming send us an email explaining your logic toward this shirade.

ONE MORE THING, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE DISAPPEARENCE OF PIRATES EVEN EFFECT GLOBAL WARMING ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. respond if you can defend your logic. thank you.

–stephen and darriel



198 Responses to “We have taken the time to read your manifesto”

  1. darkell says:

    In reply to: ONE MORE THING, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE DISAPPEARENCE OF PIRATES EVEN EFFECT GLOBAL WARMING ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Just because.

    And you should have used at least one question mark.

  2. Noodly Diddly says:

    Obviously a fake.

  3. Eric says:

    WE have taken the time to read your (bible, torah, quran), and we think that you are crazy!!

    And i personally cannot even fathom the level of mental retardation that you are on right now. how could you even think that their is a (Jesus, Jehovah, Allah) out there. If this flying (Jesus, Jehovah, Allah) really exist how in the world did (he / she/ it) form and tell me if their was (existing God image substance that he created in his own image but that I am including in this argument even tho I’ve made an illogical leap to require the created to exist before the creator) of years ago through which he can form himself and move through walls (I’m not sure why walls are important)

    How old is the person who invented this (Jesus / Jehovah / Allah) and was it a figment of his imagination, and how could people be so stupid to actually believe this non-sense!!!!!!
    !!!!

    p.s. respond if you can defend your logic. thank you.

  4. Lucifer says:

    I would respond but you are to stupid to understand you moron…

    Either religion appeals to the stupid, or religion results in stupid people.

    Love,

    Lucifer

  5. StJason says:

    Arr… Stephen and Darriel. Iffen ye listen carefully, ye be hearin the joke go over ye heads. Have a plate of spaghetti…

  6. Stephanie says:

    Some people just have no sense of humor…
    .
    You know these same folks would be outraged if anyone said the same thing about their religion. But, I guess that’s what separates those of us with triple digit IQs from those without.

  7. Maurog says:

    First of all, spaghetti is indeed thousands of years old, as science clearly proves: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4335160.stm

    Secondly, Flying Spaghetti Monster is eternal and always been. He chose to reveal Himself to the prophet to persuade him to seize the opportunity of glorious resurrection of Pastafarian faith in Kansas schools, which exactly were passing laws to make it possible.

    As for why pirates help battle natural disasters – they are holy people of our faith, the last defense against global warming, hurricanes and earthquakes. Their spiritual provess is what keeps us all alive. Sadly, their dwindling numbers put us all in danger.

    This correlation is also scientifically proven – look at this graph: http://www.google.com/trends?q=Pirates%2C+Global+Warming and you can see that a decline in pirates always causes a sharp increase in global warming.

    Pastafarianism is the only scientifically sound religion out there. Face it.

  8. Irradiatus says:

    Dear Stephen and Darriel,

    I personally believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster because I have experienced his divine influence on the course of my own life. He has come to me in dreams and his holy noodly appendages have caressed my eternally meaty soul. You cannot fully fathom his being – his power – until you have personally experienced his presence.

    I can only pity you for not having received his tangy blessing. You must find faith within yourself, for only then can you be delivered into that great pasta bowl in the sky.

    May the Flying Spaghetti Monster reserve a few meatballs for the both of you. I only pray that you come to accept his sacred gifts.

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