We have taken the time to read your manifesto

Published August 13th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

WE have taken the time to read your manifesto, and we think that you are crazy!!

And i personally cannot even fathom the level of mental retardation that you are on right now. how could you even think that their is a flying spaghetti monster out there. If this flying spag-hetti monster really exist how in the world did this thing form and tell me if their was spaghetti thousands of years ago through which he can form himself and move through walls.

How old is the person who invented this flying spag-hetti monster and was it a figment of his imagination, and how could people be so stupid to actually believe this non-sense!!!!!!

And why did you choose pirates that is basiclly sayin that the killing of human beings is the result of global warming send us an email explaining your logic toward this shirade.

ONE MORE THING, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE DISAPPEARENCE OF PIRATES EVEN EFFECT GLOBAL WARMING ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. respond if you can defend your logic. thank you.

–stephen and darriel



198 Responses to “We have taken the time to read your manifesto”

  1. Wolfo says:

    “HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE DISAPPEARENCE OF PIRATES EVEN EFFECT GLOBAL WARMING ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    Well, less pirates.
    More global warming.

    …Agh… Oh well.

  2. Pirate Dan-Man says:

    Alright. First things first. In the context “…monster really exist how in the world did this thing form and tell me if their was spaghetti thousands …”. Its not ‘their’. Its “there”. Learn basic 5th grade grammar before you insult other people. Should I dedicate this post to pointing out all your gramatical errors? I beleive I should. A * means an error.

    WE have taken the time to read your manifesto, and we think that you are crazy!!

    And i personally cannot even fathom the level of mental retardation that you are on right now. how could you even think that their* is a flying spaghetti monster out there. If this flying spag-hetti* monster really exist* how in the world did this thing form and tell me if their* was spaghetti thousands of years ago through which he can form himself and move through walls.*

    How old is the person who invented this flying spag-hetti* monster and was it a figment of his imagination, and how could people be so stupid to actually believe this non-sense*!!!!!! *

    And why did you choose pirates that is basiclly sayin* that the killing of human beings is the result of global warming send us an email explaining your logic toward this shirade.*

    ONE MORE THING, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE DISAPPEARENCE OF PIRATES EVEN EFFECT GLOBAL WARMING ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    p.s. respond if you can defend your logic. thank you.

    –stephen and darriel

    8 big ones. Every single sentence was a run-on sentence. And now to answer your question.. How did the FSM begin? Well, tell me how the universe began. How did God begin? How did Allah begin? No one knows. Its not explained in any scientific works or any religious texts. I may be wrong about that, if I am, please reeducate me

  3. laurahenry says:

    If you had truly read our manifesto then you would understand that pirates have been horribly misrepresented by the people who want to deny our truth of His Noodleyness and make us all believe that the FSM is unreal. Pirates were in fact kind gentle human beings who spread peace an love and gave sweets to small children. They are being killed off for their belief in the FSM by others who fear their kindness and compassion for all. Their depleting numbers are directly correlated with the increase in global temperature. Thank You and may the FSM put some sauce in your brain to replace its empty space.

    Ramen.

  4. Ishmael says:

    Whats with the “retard” hate? Have you read the hate mail from the lunatic that wants to shoot retarded people into outer space. I have never met a mean, unhappy, spitefull, contemptuous, or otherwise unpleasant “mentally retarded person”. The world needs more of them and less stephen & darriels. At least the ‘tards would probably write more corherant letters.
    (yes I know I can’t spel)

    Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale (religion); to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hates sake I spit my last breath at thee. – Cpt. Ahab

  5. Ryan says:

    I’ll never understand how people can miss the point entirely. If you swap God for FSM in your post it makes about as much sense to you as your post does to us.

    Thank you.
    __________________________________
    “WE have taken the time to read your manifesto, and we think that you are crazy!!

    And i personally cannot even fathom the level of mental retardation that you are on right now. how could you even think that their is a God out there. If this God really exist how in the world did this thing form and tell me if their was magic thousands of years ago through which he can form himself and move through walls.

    How old is the person who invented this God and was it a figment of his imagination, and how could people be so stupid to actually believe this non-sense!!!!!!

    And why did you choose crusaders that is basiclly sayin that the killing of human beings is the result of gods love send us an email explaining your logic toward this shirade.

    ONE MORE THING, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THE DISAPPEARENCE OF crusaders EVEN EFFECT gods love ANYWAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    p.s. respond if you can defend your logic. thank you.”

  6. Stef says:

    We have taken the time to decipher your ramblings, and have come to the conclusion that you, sirs, are retarded.
    Also, you got the pirate thing backwards. The lack of pirating (looting, not just killing people) is leading to increasing global temperatures, not the other way around.
    Regards,
    Stef
    P.S. Please respond once you’ve surgically removed your heads from each others’ arses.

  7. Vik says:

    The link between Pirates and Global Warming is well documented. It is clearly shown that through time, that as the number of Pirates in the world decreased, global temperatures have increased. That’s as sound as any bit of Christian “science” out to date, so don’t tread on us.

  8. WMF says:

    “tell me if their was spaghetti thousands of years ago through which he can form himself and move through walls”

    the oldest noodle found is 4000 years old, that’s older than Christ….

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