you guys are so lame. stop being so self concerned and go and help the less fortunate. It’s quite obvious you’re only part of this ‘church’ because you are attention seekers. Atleast Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all. The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time.
–sohto
you guys are so lame
Published by Bobby Henderson July 31st, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 113 Comments
113 Responses to “you guys are so lame”
Leave it to the Christians to attack anything they don’t like.
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Why I have to admit that most churchs are out to help the needy. My problem is how the (insert any religion here) use their “sacred document” to control people. I am an atheist and would bet that I am a better person then 95% of those with religion. For us Atheist this is the only time we have on earth. There is no afterlife, no heaven to go to. So we make the best of it while it’s here, we live life every day knowing that when it’s over thats it.
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As a follower of The Almighty Noodlyness I am most interested to know how you classify us all as “self concerned” and “attention seekers”. Firstly I must point out that you sought out this site and posted on our forum, we most definitely did not seek you out and try to claim we have any better values than those of your belief (as opposed to some certain groups of Christians that seem to find it fun to come knock on my door and try to convince me of this and that…).
We of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster do not look down upon any other religion but simply want our own religion to be respected the same as any other out there.
Best regards,
Pirate Number 12
- Praise the noodly appendages! (With a bit of ketchup!)
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Then why are 80% of the violent criminals in US prisons Christians, while Atheists only represent 0.2% of ALL people in prison?
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Studies also indicate that we help the needy more than Chirstians. Probably because we value THIS life, and not some fantsay one that’s supposed to come next.
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Help the less fortunate??? Like who among the christian faith does that?? Let’s see Jim baker?? No!!
All of the wealthy Rolls Royce driving evangelists?? No!! How about your God in general?? No!!
Hey Sohto have you ever been to Africa or the middle east and seen small children starving, I’m talking the smallest of infants, a child that will never make it to the age of three because of the lack of nourishment and rampant disease carried by flies and ticks that swarm their bodies, you see these children don’t have food, but for ticks they are food!! Try checking out the water sources these people live with everyday, when your shower and your toilet become your drinking water and vice versa. Or you could just sit around your house with your Xbox rolling and judge others. But I’m sure that you and your friends do a lot of praying for these people and your God is really paying attention to the pitiful murmurs of those who can’t do a thing but send ” the amount a cup of coffee a day would cost”!!
” Two hands working will achieve far more than a thousand hands praying” !!! Stop by the site the next time you’ve done more for people than pray, I’ve never seen a child sleep better because he or she is full from a delicious plate of prayer.
RAmen
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i don’t like how people make false accusations towards me. I spend lots of time doing community service and this person tells me i am not? How do they know i don’t own a non-profit that gathers funds and items for people who can’t come by these so easily? Just assuming things doesn’t normally work out.
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Pirate Number 12
“Praise the noodly appendages! (With a bit of ketchup!)”
Now THAT is blasphemy!
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Not that the Christian churches would not seek attention. Noooo, never ever they would. Not them for sure. And not with the aid of burning stakes, some entertaining which-hunting or a handy sword. Never!
On the other hand, those stakes might be a great idea to cook pasta properly on. An opportunity clearly missed by the C’ies
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PS. I happily realized you just wasted a lot of time typing your entry, you yourself said so …
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So, as a Christian, you naturally assume that nobody who doesn’t fear your god would ever consider being nice to others?
Personally, I find that your values are flawed: I’m nice to others and donate to charity not out of fear but out of kindness. Charity isn’t really charity when you’re doing it out of fear or obligation. Don’t you think that God, being all knowing, would be able to tell the difference between a nice person and one who is only trying to avoid damnation?
Oh, and on the subject of not wasting time and money, how much does it cost to build a church? All the time and money that went into the fancy architecture and interior design could have been spent on helping the less fortunate.
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And yet you saw fit to “waste” your time by submitting your message to us. Why aren’t you out volunteering to help the needy?
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Why do you stand on your values? They must be getting pretty squished.
Besides, most Christians only help other Christians. We are trying to bring back ALL of the pirates!
With Noodly Love – RAmen
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So Pastafarians don’t “help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all”? Says who?
First, you can be a Christian/Buddhist/Muslim/Jew, etc. AND a Pastafarian. It’s about denying (un)Intelligent Design, not necessarily religion.
Secondly, don’t fall into the trap of confusing religion with morality. Totally separate concepts.
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I love those that paint with such a large brush that “you guys” covers both sexes and all the people of varying backgrounds, morals and those with differing reasons for being here. Thats like saying that Christianity covers Crusaders, missionaries in early European North America, slavers, bigots and those that deem women inferior. Get real.
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Yea, because Christians don’t seek attention at all, and they never act any way other than to benefit others.
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Typical Christian…they believe that because they go to church where they are told to do good works that they must all be good people. What about the child molesters who hang out in the churches (there were 2 at my old church), and the insurance reps, lawyers and realtors who go there to network? Get over yourself Sohto! I do more for society now than I ever did as a Christian…because now I think for myself and see what needs to be done, instead of having some administrative group take my money and tell me it’s going to the “greater good!”
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Dear Sohto,
I also disagree angrily with the tenets of The Church of the FSM and for similar reasons that you do. As a Prophet of Actual Rice Of All Kinds (AROAK) I have been revealed the divine Truth that pasta (for example Spaghetti or Flying Spaghetti) is a lame waste of time compared to rice.
In part this is because pasta is heavily processed from grains and usually also requires added milk and other adulterants, and is thus false compared to the original seed of All Kinds of Rice, which however may be sweetened or have milk or other items added simply for added deliciousness.
Also, as you know, rice is very healthful and has helped many people to have food and sustenance over the years. My own divine revelation (and I am confident that historical evidence agrees) tells me that more people have eaten rice than pasta or Christians. Therefore, Prima Facie, AROAK is the most helpful and also True Way and supporting AROAK is not as much a waste of time as FSM or Christianity.
Thank You,
Otis – Prophet of AROAK
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yes my life is rather good. i would like to thank the christians that burnt/drowned all the witches back in the 1600s :) although it’s a shame i won’t get to eat any gingerbread houses :(
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Hey how about we help the less fortunate without dragging our silly mythology along, or worse forcing it on them in exchange for the help.
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SOHTO (What the hell does that stand for), waste your time as you see fit, and let us waste our time as we see fit. There is no greater waste of time, in my opinion, than proselytizing any of the organized religions. As far as Christian magnanimity, consider the money spent to construct “magnificent cathedrals” for the worship and glory of your God. Yea, even in the midst of great poverty and need are these expensive temples built, often from the tithes of those who live in squalor. May the All-Wise FSM bless your benevolent soul.
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His Noodliness is devoted to defending poor, defenseless children from the onslaught of religion taught as science. This is not self-centered but obviously good and true. RAmen. Arg.
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So apparently the 13 years I spent helping impoverished inner-city Americans and the 15 years and counting I have spent helping abandoned pets don’t cut any ice with the xian god, huh?
“The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time.” So I guess in your xian opinion things like advocating tolerance, humility and respect are a complete waste of time. Well, that does seem to fit in with such common xian practices as social ostracism and condemnation of non-xians, guilt infliction, and self-glorification. If you care to pay attention, you might notice that the Pastafarians who reply to obnoxious posts like yours are doing so defensively, not offensively. You and other xians like you come stomping in here uninvited, poop on our furniture, and expect us to apologize to you for getting your poop dirty. Here’s a suggestion: shut up and go away.
RAmen
ET
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Christians are so lame. stop being so self concerned and go and help the less fortunate. It’s quite obvious you’re only part of this ‘church’ because you are attention seekers. Atleast (sic) we help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all. The kind of stuff on Christian site is just a complete waste of time.
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first of all, if it’s such a waste of time… then why are you here? also, where did you get the idea that anyone on this site is “self concerned” and refuses to help the less fortunate? are you so presumptuous as to assume that anyone who doesn’t follow standard christian values is only concerned with themselves? so.. following that logic.. the only way i can be a good person and help others is if i am a christian. wow, that’s quite an ego you have!
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If all Christians did what you said, I really don’t think there’d be so many “less fortunate” in this world. Stop trying to make christianity look like it’s better than any other religion-or non-religion. It’s not.
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“The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time.” sohto – Thank you for wasting your time on our website! LOL
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Well for starters I donate to toys for tots, the salvation army, spent about four years of my life candy stripping at the hospital spending atleast forty hours a week thier. I am that guy who gives the people with the signs on the side of the interstate or at gas stations money (while I know there are those that lie and don’t really need the money I can’t shake the feeling that what if some them are really in need.)I volunteered at daycamps, and help non-profit organization when I have free time. I do all of this not for religion, so I don’t see why it matters if your church does something for the community it really matters more about what you do for those in need.
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“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”……… “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth” (it goes on like that for a fare while)
In genesis, the bible gives you the impression the god created the earth and everything on it for us and for us to use. The human race has been doing that for millions of years and the earth cant cope. clearly (unless god intended us to destroy his creation) were not on the right track, in my opinion that is one big boo boo. If the bible is wrong about that then why can’t it be wrong about other things. I for one don’t see the difference in love between two people of the same gender. Love it something that we need more of on this earth and you people keep getting in the way. So go pray or something and stop ruining life for the rest of us.
p.s I’m not saying that all Christians are bad, I’m simply saying you suck and that you should go away
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It is so simple… we do these things to help others less fortunate than us, not to try and save our souls from damnation, shame on you and all other christians, as if your god can’t see through your reasoning for caring.
Our Pasta Will Never Burn!
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It sound like you only help people because your religion tells you to? If you did it of your own accord you would not need to bring christianity into it. And why do you help people? is it because your bullied into it by your god as you may suffer the fate of eternal damnation. You only improve the lives of people when it suits you. You act on guilt. How many people has your religion helped without trying to convert them?
See what ive done here. Ive made assumptions about you based on something your part of as appose to who you may be. If your so devote why are you judging people. I thought that you had to leave that to your god to judge others.
youve openly accused people you know nothing about and judged them without thinking about the good they might be doing and discarded there ideas without consideration. Wait a minute isnt that what the bible says happened with Jesus at the hands of the romans and other religious groups of the time?
Do you honestly think that christians are the only people who help others because thats how it comes accross and if you do your an idiot
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Mhm. I can see that Christians are obviously so caring about the poor that those multi million pound churches and cathedrals are… what? Refugee centers? Don’t make me laugh. Those guys are the biggest hypocrites of them all.
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May lord FSM bless me, I am a true believer in FSM, this website was started as a joke – but it was actually a well taught out strategy by FSM.
Yesterday Lord FSM spoke to me in my dreams, he commanded me to give this message to the world of mortals on planet earth.
Fellow earthlings :
Believe in FSM and get blessed once you die you will proceed to a restaurant where you can stay and have meat balls and noodles for eternity.
Else you will be banished in a kitchen where you will be made to cook meat balls and noodles for eternity.
Also note you just need to believe in FSM, nothing else is needed on your part.
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if christians care so much about the poor than why don’t they sell some of that fancy expensive shit in their churches to help the poor rather than hide behind some religion and claim they help those in need when people like ET, the Extra Terrestrial, and TRDD realy do help those in need.
by the way you guys deserve an award or something cool. i just volunteer at the nursing home, and when i see somebody holding their hat out for money i give them my change. so what do you do to help the people in need all mighty christian ?
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Ah those christians and their many christian sects… they have done some wonderful things…
Catholics – condeming contraception, and so causing many converted third world countries to have too many children that they can’t afford to feed.
Mormons – Sneaking into uncontacted Amazon villages to burn down all their buildings, texts, clothing, mouments and culture. And giving them western clothes, christian churches and bibles as replacements
Oh and don’t forget those lovely klu klux klan chaps – I don’t think I need to explain all the horros they’ve commited.
Yep, those christians truly are the best.
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So, all the giant roadside church signs, the TV televangelism channels, the conventions, the lobby groups, the protesters (God hates fags! et al), the youth groups with the matching t-shirts at the amusement park…those aren’t attention seeking?
Organized Christianity and religion in general is all about attention seeking. THey have to keep those “donations” rolling in!
I have yet to see any FSM followers crying for attention like the so-called “established” faiths.
I’m curious why the Christians feel they are the only ones who do charitable work (and, btw, why isn’t their god doing anything to help the less fortunate?). I’ve yet to see a christian charity operation that didn’t have some selfish motive, such as self-promotion, preaching, evangelism, public attention, etc.
The difference here is, we do the charitable thing, and DON’T call attention to it so the world can pat us on the pack. We do it because it’s the right thing to do.
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That’s odd, I could have sworn that the large patch on my arm is covering the wound where I just volunteered to give some blood to the people who need it and now I learn that it never happened because I wasn’t being coerced by some supernatural bully! I had no idea that threats of eternal hellfire is a necessary part of charity! Does this mean that I’ll have to stop giving money to Amnesty International as well? :(
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This is so funny. How pious and righteous you are! Too bad you can’t use “spell check”.
How utterly xian of you – so many of you spend so much time slamming others’ beliefs, it’s amazing you even have time to worship or do good deeds.
I have absolutely nothing against anyone practicing a religion, any religion, as long as they don’t support violent behavior, hate, or enjoy stuffing their beliefs down our throats. Oh, I’m sorry – that was a perfectly descriptive definition of YOUR beliefs, wasn’t it?
I’ll stick with Pastafarianism thank you, it’s much more friendly and the sauce is better, plus noodly appendages make me feel happy. :)
Unlike you and your ilk, I am not vindictive, I will pray that you find peace and happiness in a more enlightened state, and that your mind becomes more opened to our world and the people in it, especially since it’s so obvious that the “End Times” are here. Good luck with that, by the way, I hear the price for sin is pretty high, and it sounds like you’re leaning in that direction.
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Just finished watching Keith Olberman last night, his pop culture story was about 2 Christ sightings. In the first one, a man found a Cheeto which had a head and two widely extended arms. Naturally it was a Cheeto of Cheesus on the cross.
The other one had a couple showing the markings of the fur on the back of their cat which they claimed bore an uncanny resemblance to you know who. All during the time they were filming they were arranging the cat’s fur to highlight the resemblance. Naturally, the cat was giving them his best “get the fuck away from my fur, you crazy bastards” growls.
So do Xtains spend all their time doing good? Debatable at best. We’ve gone through the list of things done in the name of various deities, including J.C. so often it’s become monotonous. We’ve mocked Cheesus sighting with FSM sighting of our own. So what’s left? Answer: to prove that Jesus was not a historical person and his biography in the gospels is nothing more than a plagiarization of the “biographies” of earlier pagan sun god religions, that were founded before the claimed birth of christ. There is ample documentation of this.
–Jesus is one of twenty or so deities born as a man to a vigin.
–All of these deities died on the cross, were burried and rose from the dead in three days time
–All of these deities were born on December 25th and were visited by 3 Kings
–All of these deities walked on water, made water into wine, and brought the dead back to life
–All of these deities had twelve disciples, including one who betrayed him
–All of these deities were considred redeemers for some original sin against god
–All of these deities ascended into heaven
–All of these deiteis were called “Lamb or God” or “Son of God”
–And al of these deities were believed in long before his followers claim J.C. was even born.
So what does that tell us of the liklihood that even some of the most basic facts of Christ’s life? Well, for starters, there is no independent historical confirmation of the historical Jesus. The Account of the Roman historian Josephus, is now consideed a forgery, and no other accounts mention even the most basic facts (death and crucifixion).
So no independent historical confirmation of his life and a biography plagiarized from earlier sun god religions makes it a far fetched proposition that Jesus even lived, or, if he did, that anything in the gospels is anything but a fabrication , and a not very original one at that.
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Teaching religion to children is child abuse. I’m about protecting them from abuse.
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Granted there has been some good work to help the needy by Christian groups but they are few and far between and nearly always try to convert the ones they are helping. It has been going on throughout history. The funny thing is, the people they try to help and convert usually end up far worse then before with confused ideas and an incomplete understanding of the religion being taught to them. For some strange reason Christians can’t seem to mind their own business. They can’t even agree amongst they’re selves. Why anybody would want to follow it is beyond me. Catholics and Protestants kill each other all the time. They’re both Christians though. Weird.
During the last several big wars I’d like to know just how much money the Vatican gave to the needy.
How much food, water, clothing and shelter did the church donate? I bet the figure is remarkably small. Especially when you realize just how much money is in the Vatican vaults. They’ve been extorting, oops, collecting for centuries now. Some of these new Christian churches cost tens of millions to build. And they keep building more! The mind boggles. Aren’t there enough? You don’t see very many of them getting torn down. They must breed like cockroaches. I’ve seen fleets of Cadillacs parked outside of some of them. At it’s not for a funeral either. These places are often rolling in dough. They’re not helping the needy, they’re just helping themselves.
Here at the Church of the FSM we do however help the needy. We don’t often succeed but every once in a while we teach the blind Christians to see. I certainly don’t consider that to be a waste of time.
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Blah, blah, blah,blah, jebus, jebus, jebus, jebus, bible, bible, bible, bible………..same ole crap every time.
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Who do you think donates all the pasta to the less fortunate? Ignorance is an epidemic, religion is not the cure.
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Yeah….
I am an atheist but I still went to help out my old church because they actually needed help. I don’t believe in any of the stuff but I still go to help. Apparently that doesn’t matter because since I go on this site I am a horrible person.
Also I try to give blood as much as I can, I’m an Eagle Scout, have logged over 300 hours of community service from Scouts alone, and I am going to a military institute. All of those things though are negated because I go to one site.
You talk about how Christians are so loving and caring towards other people. From what I’ve seen of this site all they do is attack people who have a satirical religion. Also it always seems to be Christians getting offended about things that concern religion. We do not attack your religion or beliefs, you attack ours when you do things like this.
No Christians truly act like Jesus.
As Ghandi said “I like your Jesus, but I do not like you Christians”
Christians do not follow the ways of Jesus, if they did then none would be on this site bashing our rejection of religion.
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Skepticism
We need skepticism. We need people who will say “well what if we can’t know anything about the world and it was created by an invisible, ethereal being who doesn’t have a beginning or any evidence to support his existence yet is responsible for all our life experiences?”
We need Christians.
We need people like this sohto character in every stage of our development as a civilization so that we can look upon our behavior and either remember the real meanings of life or figure them out.
:) Religion has helped me to discover a coherent system of life meanings that does not involve deities or “cause I was told so” information of any kind. For that, I have to thank Religion as a person might thank an uncomfortable latrine for inspiring them to invent a toilet.
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I’d like to thank Mr Gleeballs *see below* for saying something I’ve been thinking for quite a while now. Why the hell do you only help people because your religion commands it? Help people because they need help, not because it earns you brownie points with the giant salt-pillar fairy/smurf you worship. That smacks of utter selfishness. (and why DO you worship the salt pillar fairy? salt pillars get boring and are untasty. Pasta reigns eternal!)
RAmen
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As an atheist, I laugh at Christians who prosecute Pastafarians. Would a loving God want you to make a hell for Pastafarians? I got the impression that’s for Him to do.
As a scientist, the FSM is a much more likely deity than the Christian God. So many people think that the FSM can’t exist because Spaghetti didn’t exist, but that’s where they’re wrong. Could you tell me the history of Spaghetti real quick? It seems as though you can only track it to the FSM.
In conclusion, I challenge you to think on this: Who in the right mind would email the church in order to tell them how lame they are? A zealot? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
In the name of the Meatballs (from the Macaronist sect),
RAmen
Oh wait, I’m atheist. unRAmen.
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Beastly,
Since Amnesty is an ” evil”organisation that endorses abortion for rape-victims, yes of course you should! In the eyes of many “good” christians anyway….
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“Atleast Christians help the less fortunate” – are you kidding!? When?
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What a great group you are Pastafarians! Many volunteer (as do I) and all are enlightened!
I am so glad to be wasting time with this group of people. Thanks Bobby for a great place to visit!!
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I took a ten minute drive yesterday and saw 3 different christianity billboards. And you call us the attention seekers. I mean what religion advertises?!? “Oh man! that sign says Jesus will send me to Heaven! I better convert!!” Enjoy your hypocritical fairy tales.
RAmen
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1. You assume no one helps anyone unless they are christian.
2. You assume christians do what they are supposed to do.
3. You have also just argued that educating people (the point of this site) is a waste of time.
Therefore … er… christians like you don’t believe in education but do believe in belittling other people’s opinions & imposing judgement on them based on no evidence whatsoever…
Ok, yep that’s why I joined this site, yep. Arrogance & intolerance are really quite ugly, especially when it’s based on nothing at all.
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Please ask the victims of priestly x-ian abuse about this “helping others.”
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As I sit in my house watching CNN, I’m held rapt by the story of a beheading on a Greyhound bus travelling through Canada. I wonder, isn’t that sort of thing only supposed to happen on Islamic Greyhound?
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Christians believe that “The meek will inherit the earth”. Since this likely means other christians, it could be said that you’re helping other christians to inherit the earth. The ‘Improving life for all’ bit doesn’t sound right just with that statement. I’ve seen quite a number of accounts of people killed in the name of christianity, and I don’t think those dead people were much improved from the encounter. Perhaps you should have said ‘Improving life for all god-fearing, rightly-practicing, bible-valuing, christ-following, honest-to-god, meek christians’.
In case you haven’t put this together, that’s a lot smaller portion of the population than ‘all’ of them. Get your facts straight. A lot of people tend to make the mistake of using ‘all’ where the words ‘very few’ apply when sending in pointless hate-mail like this.
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Christians build churches in Africa. And send over a night’s worth of food each Thanksgiving for 400000 Africans(about 0.087% of the African population). And show the Africans the love and care of Jesus. That’s pretty much all they care to do for the Africans, but at least it’s something.
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‘It’s quite obvious you’re only part of this ‘church’ because you are attention seekers’. Actually sohto, I found this website after reading about it in ‘The God Delusion’ by Richard Dawkins. I wasn’t seeking attention but I was seeking like minded people who have had enough of religious hypocrites such as yourself. I wouldn’t mind xtians so much if they only would stop brainwashing children into believing their crap. Read what Neal has posted and do some research, or are you afraid you might find the truth about your preposterous beliefs?
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OH, yea, christians really help people. Tell you what, one time I went to live in the same town as my Mother, and was recently divorced/pregnant. My mom asked her church if there was anything they could send my way as far as clothing from their charity box, and they refused to do even that much, saying I had to become a member of their church first. She asked them, what about community outreach? Apparently, that only works if the community belongs to that church.
So dont hand me that BS.
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Hello,
I would like to say that until I found and let FSM into my heart I was on a doomed path. I was doing drugs with hookers in a back alley in between going from Sunday school to Mass and stumbled across the teachings. As soon as I got finished date raping a girl I just met, and having homosexual sex. I read the teaching cover to cover.
This keep me awake all night as I could feel the demons inside of me leaving. I thrashed around my bed speaking in crazy tongues. The more I accepted the teachings the more the evil spewed out.
The next day on my way to work I found an old pirate hat. It is clear that my god want me to do his work. He has spoken to me and continues to speak to me. I know he wants me to travel and write his teachings now. I no longer have an urge to date rape or put penis in my mouth, my drug habit is cured and I have stopped beating women and children. It is amazing!
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“Atleast[soc] Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all.”
For all except the ones who are going to burn in hell for not believing of course.
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Why is Christianity and education so incompatible? And why, for “heaven’s sake” are you wasting your time sending emails to a website that is nothing but a waste of time?? Do 2 wastes of time equal productivity in your faith??
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Okay, so I’m a little late replying to this, but how retarded can you be? I do good things because I WANT to and it makes me feel good contributing to mankind, not because I’m trying to please God. I’ve volunteered at animal shelters, rescued, fixed, and found homes for stray animals on my own, I donate double blood on a regular basis, I volunteer for a veterans organization, and I’m a volunteer EMT/Firefighter. There are plenty of xtians who do these things, but maybe when your reasons for doing it are your own, and you aren’t trying to buy your way into heaven for your past sins, it’s much more pure and enjoyable. I would also like to point out, only because it bugs the heck out of me and it was mentioned earlier, that the religion that sends out the largest number of “missionaries” rarely does any charitable work while one their mission. It is all meant to convert. What a waste of manpower. At least most Christian missionaries at least go to build a school or a hospital or something and do some teaching on the side.
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Lets talk about this lame business. Christianity believes that we should be in war because it brings about the Apocalypse and millions suffer. Christianity has brought about genocide. Christianity encourages people to not to resolve problems that would end world hunger. I am not just talking about birth control. I am talking about social change that does better than just give a bowl of soup and then maybe you will have something to eat in the next few days. Christianity is not required to do good, and if a person needs religion to do do good, than that person is really an asshole, because they are doing it because God told them to, not because they believe in doing better.
You want people to stop wasting their time and help others? leave the church and encourage others to do the same.
You call us attention seekers? What a fucking hypocrite, of course a christian is one by definition anyway, because you are seeking attention yourself by posting your pathetic post, you attention whore.
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Followers of the FSM do far more for the unfortuante than other religious establishments. One pair of hands will do far more than a million prayers. Carry on dreaming.
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Wait, let me get this straight. Stoning gay people constitutes as “improving life for all”?
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sohto,
Nuh-uh. YOU guys are so lame.
Seriously, though, are you talking about the Xtians in the former Yugoslavia, who killed both each other, Muslims, and anyone else they could precisely because of centuries-old differences in belief about their god? How about Xtian terrorist groups around the world, for instance Indonesia, India, Ireland? No one here would reasonably claim all Xtians are bad people (misguided, yes, but we all have some of that at one point in time or another.) It’s similarly silly for you to make a contrary blanket statement about xtians, especially considering the evidence.
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Let’s not forget — the Spanish Inquisition was a “Faith-Based Initiative”! Find me just ONE organized religion that doesn’t believe that THEIR god is the RIGHT god and that they are obligated to kill anyone who may believe in another god or gods unless they convert to their way of thinking. I don’t think that we will ever see a holy war (or in our case “whole wheat” pasta war) waged in the name of the FSM. What’s wrong with a belief system that DOESN’T endorse violence or irrational fears? Besides, all of the stories in the bible are just that — stories, not facts (that is why they are not called bible facts) that were written down by a bunch of Jews who were wandering the desert for 40 years, starved and dehydrated. I bet I’d come up with some pretty interesting stories myself in those circumstances!!! And for sohto’s information, I am the product of a Catholic mother and a Jewish father (who is actually an Evangelical Atheist). I probably know more about being a good Christian than he/she ever will. Some of the MOST religious people I have met in my life have been the LEAST Christian and some of the LEAST religious have been the MOST Christian (by definition).
I, as my fellow FSM worshippers, do good for the sake of doing good. Because I am selfish (something that is punished in the Judeo/Christian world). I do good for others because I want to — because I feel good when I do!!! Keep up the good work, people!!!! Pasta for everyone — can I be a pirate now?
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We are the attention seekers? You, my fat friend, came to our church and blasted us. Not the other way around. When was the last time a Pastafarian burst into your church and started with the “Blah blah blahing”? Oh, that’s right, we don’t do shit like that, you little attention whore.
And if a dude needs a religion to do the right thing then that dude is nothing more then an asshat. I don’t need to follow an invisible man to do the right thing, I mean I’m not blind, figure of speech, I am in fact, legally blind and am still finding my way into becoming a good person (I’m fourteen).
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do these get send to this sohto knobhead?
they should.
life for all? how bout all the people being persectued because of something someone wrote 2000 years ago? yea all they Gays are loving it im sure… you shouldnt be accepting them though, thats not what the Lord preached in that book.
you cant adapt to changing values in society.
“You speak of morals as given by your god, but I ask of you, is it greater for a man to act in hope of reward and fear of punishment, or to act because it is the right thing to do?”
some atheist quote site.
that pretty much sums it up. theres no intrinsic value in doing good for you christians. you do it for your own sake, to escape hell.
thats not brave. its not caring.
you make me sick.
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Hey Soho,
Got any Crystal Meth? It helps me strengthen my christian values.
Signed,
Ted Haggard
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Dear sohto,
I suspect you are very young and are speaking your church’s words and not your own. No worries, we forgive you if you are still young and naive and do not know better than to say what you say. In ten years when you have reached over 20 I expect you to come back and laugh at yourself for being so ignorant when you were young. But that is all OK still as we can’t expect someone that young as you to have formed his/hers own morals yet.
Kind regards,
Andreas
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I once sat in on an affluent communty’s adult discussion group regarding christian development and charity work. I’d like to share some of the comments I overheard. One was a Mother, saying”there’s just no time for charity work, we’re just too busy doing cultural things, going to shows and so on”, while the Fathers at the other table were saying “God bless the poor, they work for next to nothing!”(this is no lie).
Would you explain again the part about standing on values that improve life for all? I seemed to have missed something there.
Even still, may noodles and sauce be with them.
RAmen.
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We are helping the less fortunate… you have a tiny little brain, we are helping you expand it. Praise the FSM.
RAmen
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I’m a little late too, but I want to add that at least the FSM accepts Gay people for who they are. Now tell me if Jesus loves everyone, why does he not love gay people? Wait I bet Jesus does love gay people almost as much as the FSM, it’s just Christ’s follower’s don’t actually believe in the value’s that the bible teaches; they have their own views of what they perceive to be right and wrong.
I believe in the values of the FSM. Christ is soooo 2000 years ago.
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yes,because trashing on FSM is really helping feed the homeless,right?
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Since when have Christians done much good, here’s a little history lesson, Crusades were embarked by christians, Christians have been so self centered that there version of Christianity was right that they killed other Christians throughout the centuries.
However we have caused no violence except through out saintly pirates getting booty of non believers. All Hail the Mighty FSM and his Noodly appendage
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So when Christians to good things to improve life for evryone does that include hatred of gays or other things of that nature.(i cant think of something else…but i will) At least pastafarians don’t hate anyone.
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Really, when did you make up this crap?
Child, if you want to steer us off the path of Heresy, don’t do it by calling us “lame.” That can really hurt a man’s feelings.
Also: Check your facts, bible-hugger. Stringing together meaningless insults does not make for a good bash, you flesh-eyed, weasel-sniffing, morphodite-looking, woman-beating, carpet-sleeping, box-chewing, ass.
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WHY DO ALL CHRISTIANS THINK THAT THEY ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THAT CONTRIBUTE TO CHARITY AND DO GOOD THINGS!! other people do to u know ur not that special
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Christianity’s worst enemy (evil) is EDUCATION.
The more you know, the less you believe that crap.
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Really? As an organization that sells amusing t-shirts, I’d say we don’t contribute to the community much. But as individuals, most of us do. We feel that you should contribute without someone asking you to. It could be anything from habitat for humanity, cleaning up the roadside for your local town, or mowing the lawn for a disabled neighbor. Its also far more fulfilling when you do it simply because you want to do good than to score points for some afterlife. Next time you do some community service, ask yourself why you’re doing it, and see if you can live with being that damn selfish.
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From CNN, August 10th, 2008 – another evidence of Christians improving the quality of life for all:
BALTIMORE, Maryland (AP) — A toddler whose remains were found inside a suitcase in Philadelphia in the spring was starved to death by members of a religious cult, including his mother, in part because he refused to say “amen” after meals, police said.
He was 19 months old. Pretty sure he wouldn’t know what he was really saying. Pastafarians wouldn’t care if he didn’t say “R’amen”.
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Good choice! Now go call your buddy ex-Nazi Radzinger and tell him to keep refusing Africans the use of condoms, ’cause that was a real life-changer. Obviously you can only help people when you’re christian.
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Just like all those Christian priests helping little boys out of their underpants. What is the current sex-abuse settlement now, $16, $17 million?
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lol you guys are funny. Although I am a practising Christian, and while I realise this is a tongue in cheek way of making fun of religious views in general, it’s a very funny one. I’ve spent the last couple of hours splitting my sides with laughter as i’ve trawled through this site lol. His noodly appendage cracks me up everytime, seriously you guys are genius lolol.
May you all be bathed in a richly divine sauce or red wine and sauteed shallots, sprinkled with delicate herbs as his noodly appendage caresses you into eternal bliss :-)
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I’m worried that if enough people believe in the FSM, then she will actually start to exist. I suspect that it all started off as a joke, but people shouldn’t meddle with narrative causation, it’s very dangerous. Look what happened to the martians! They started believing in the giant thirsty galump, then it manifested and drank all the water! We should learn from their mistake. THE FSM DOES NOT EXIST! AND IT IS DANGEROUS!
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You dirt old man, Lord of Chaos. I bet you are just like one of them you dirt sodden stinking old fing! Why accuse priests when there are many of you doing the same? Hey?
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Ratzinger a Nazi? I thought that wsa a drink. I think you on this site are all nazis and planning the next war!
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Well Lord of Chaos I wouldn’t like to take your underpants of they are probably full of crap, just like what is coming out of your mouth. Grow up!
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1) If this website is a waste of time, then why come here?
2) If you are Christian, which it sounds like you are, why, are you not helping people, instead of insulting them.
3) What about gays? Are their lives improved by Christianity?
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“At least Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all” right like declaring war on countries and killing 300 million people
“The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time”
ignoring the fact that the quote has bad grammar, this site is based on fighting creationism and it is one of the reasons creatinism isn’t being tought in class right now
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Here is an early example of Christianity “improving life for all” from
religioustolerance.org:
“Later in the fourth century, Emperor Theodosian issued a series of decrees or rescripts to “suppress all rival religions, order the closing of the temples, and impose fines, confiscation, imprisonment or death upon any who cling to the older [Pagan] religions.” 3 The period of relative religious tolerance under Paganism in the Roman Empire ended as non-Christian temples were seized and converted to Christian use or destroyed. Priests and Priestesses were exiled or killed. Pauline Christianity and Judaism were the only permitted religions. To follow another faith group was an offense punishable by death.”
As pointed out by another Pastafarian, the period of time when Christianity had total political sway in Europe is known as “the Dark Ages”. I propose that radical Islam has now ushered in an “Arabic Dark Ages”. Good times for all!
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My hat is off to Jamie…. I respect your Christian views and love your open mind, you deserve all that is out there in kind! I really hope that you invite more people that share your opinion to this site and maybe the world could become a more tolerant place. RAmen
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Prudence there are many people that molest children but don’t you find it more disgusting when it’s done in the name of your GOD?
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Oh and also Prudence, when you are ready to test your faith and sign over your house to me just let me know, I also want your cars and bank account… ya know all of the things you wont need when Jesus comes to take you home. I’m still waiting for you to prove your faith to me by giving me all of your worldly belongings. I will actually make a deal with you, I believe the Flying Spaghetti Monster will be here before Jesus, so give me your date and I will give you mine and if yours is after mine I will give you all of my belongings. I just know that you have so much FAITH in the LORD that you will have no problem giving me everything that you own.
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More examples of the benevolence of religion:
“Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
- Lord Acton -Catholic Historian -made in reference to the power of the Vatican and earthly kings.
“History explodes the myth of a papacy lily white in the matter of truth. In an age of barbarism, the popes led the pack; in an age of enlightenment, they trailed the field. And their record was worst when, contrary to the Gospel, they tried to impose their truth by force…The record of the Inquisition would be embarrassing for any organization; for the Catholic Church, it is devastating…What history shows is that, for more than six centuries without a break, the papacy was the sworn enemy of elementary justice. Of eighty popes in a line from the 13th century on, not one of them disapproved of the theology and apparatus of the Inquisition. On the contrary, one after another added his own cruel touches to the workings of this deadly machine.” -Peter de Rosa- Catholic Historian “Vicars of Christ: The Dark Side of the Papacy”
But that was ancient times, right? OK, how about the 1940’s? Recent enough for you?
During World War II, the Pavelic Regime Offered Croatian Jews Conversion To Catholicism & Contributing Personal Property – In Return For Not Being Deported To Death Camp. However, IsraCast Has Uncovered Evidence That Even These Jews & Their Families Were Later Executed By the Ustasha.
…The town of Vukovar, located on the Croatian border with Serbia, is but an example of what transpired in Croatia where the Ustasha movement was unleashed, with the support of the Catholic church, to launch a sadistic campaign of murder and torture against Serbs, Jews and Gypsies. The Ustasha barbarity was said to have even shocked their German masters.
You may say, but that was just a fanatical militia, not the Church itself! So, how about this:
Alojzije (Aloysius) Viktor Cardinal Stepinac (May 8, 1898 – February 10, 1960) was a Croatian Catholic Prelate. He was Archbishop of Zagreb from 1937 to 1960. In 1946, in a verdict that polarised public opinion both in Yugoslavia and beyond, a Belgrade court found him guilty of collaborating with the Ustaše and complicity in allowing the forced conversion of Orthodox Serbs to Catholicism. He was sentenced to 16 years in prison, but after five years was released and confined to his home parish of Krašić. He was appointed a Cardinal in 1952 by Pope Pius XII. In 1998 Pope John Paul II declared him a martyr and beatified him, which again polarised public opinion.
Not to just pick on Catholics, maybe next week I’ll post some of the fine things Protestants have done to – ehhh, FOR – others!
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Better, if you follow christianity, if not, genocide and holy wars~!
Thank you CFSM, I am now a true follower!
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Hi Darwin’s Monkey, Don’t be such a knoll. Knolls are silly. But there again if you are darwins monkey you wouod think illogical as you scratch your rear end for fleas. Jesus is Lord and is coming soon and EVERY KNEE will bow even you as a mponkey will. Don’t believe me? Wait and see and then you will be wailing like a monkey. meow!
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Hey! What happened to my Protestants post? While I try to recreate it, I thought it may be amusing to see how accurate the Jehovah’s Witnesses are. (Hope if I’m ever arrested the witnesses are better than these clowns!)
In 1876, Russell met Nelson H. Barbour and subsequently adopted
Barbour’s eschatology. Barbour had predicted the visible return
of Christ at 1873, and when that failed to occur, he revised the
prediction to 1874. Soon after Barbour’s second disappointment,
his group decided Christ had returned invisibly to Earth in 1874.
They differed from most Second Adventists, teaching that all mankind
descending from Adam would be given a chance to live in a paradise
on Earth. In 1877, Barbour and Russell jointly published the book
The Three Worlds detailing their views. A gathering of the saints to
heaven was expected for 1878 and the year 1914 to mark the end of
Gentile control of the city of Jerusalem and the final end of the
rule of human governments.
Early editions predicted that Armageddon would culminate in 1914.
During the 1960s and early 1970s, various references were made in
Witnesses’ literature and at assemblies, implying that Christ’s
thousand-year millennial reign might begin by 1975.
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An example of Protestants making the world a better place –
You just can’t beat the Catholic Church when it comes to a good massacre, but you have to give the Mormons credit for trying!
Here is a recount of the Mountain Meadows Massacre of 1857:
Initially intending to orchestrate an Indian massacre, two men with leadership roles in local military, church and government organizations, Isaac C. Haight and John D. Lee, conspired to lead militiamen disguised as Native Americans along with a contingent of Paiute tribesmen in an attack. The emigrants fought back and a siege ensued. Intending to leave no witnesses of Mormon complicity in the siege and also intending to prevent reprisals that would complicate the Utah War, militiamen induced the emigrants to surrender and give up their weapons. After escorting the emigrants out of their fortification, the militiamen and their tribesmen auxiliaries executed approximately 120 men, women and children. Seventeen younger children were spared.
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‘At least Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all.’
The whole point of the FSM is to do away with the representation of the Christian creation myth as science in schools. Please explain to me how raising a nation of children ignorant of empirical science improves life for anyone?
“Sapientia genetrix timoris est”
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Since its creation, christians have oppressed other people, have killed them in the name of their god that nobody had ever seen. This was the christian church which told europeans that they could use black people as slaves.
The FSM church would have never allowed that. Long life for the FSM \ö/
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Quote “you guys are so lame. stop being so self concerned and go and help the less fortunate. It’s quite obvious you’re only part of this ‘church’ because you are attention seekers. Atleast Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all. The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time.”
–sohto
Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all? When? was it when your holy bullshit dogma caused the slaughter of millions during the crusades? or was it when Christians were burning books and heretics? Oh! i know! i bet it was during the past 2000 years of oppressing free thought and giving valid questions petty excuses! Atheist and loving it!
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Yes. Right. Christians are the best people in the world.
Bigot.
RAmen.
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Hey, starving, HIV ridden African population! Don’t go using contraception to limit the spread AIDS, or limit the number of children… the christian god tells us its a waste of man-milk
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Because apparently using the internet and helping the less fortunate are mutually exclusive activities.
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Really, you really think that your god is better than ours? At least the FSM doesn’t tell us to start a genocide against non-believers. All hail his noodelyness
RAmen
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Christians also start wars and kill(ed) thouasands becuase they don’t think the same way as them.
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KKK,
spanish inquisition,
crusades,
conversive propaganda,
anti-abortionists,
anti-semites,
slavery.
And you say this is improving life for all? Seems the world went to hell when jeebus showed up
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‘At least Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all…’
…such as egalitarianism, free democracy, the right to your own religion, free speech, peace, justice, and the right to question accepted knowledge?
Believe me when I say I’ll believe that when I see it. So far, the only Christian group I’ve seen that actually /does/ is Quakerism (me? Biased? Not at all…), and when was the last time you saw a Quaker evangelist?
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you go helping ppl insted of posting coment’s on the internet!
do you know haw meny ppl in the world cold you help whil wasting your time serfing on this site?!
wats this? none?
same thing over hir
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“helping the less fortunate”? does that include child rape? does that include attempts to abolish priests from the prosecution? sustematicly turning the blind eye to whatever bad churches and their proponents do to the world? systematicaly abolishing own willains by using worldwide-topmost-relativism-friendly phrase of “let one who is without sins throw the first stone” (has anybody heard of church applying this phrase to her enemies?? :-) no, probably not)? attention seeking? who, me? us, non-believers? is there anybody, worldwide, who is larger attention seeker than the churches and the clergy? anybody? no, unfortunately, there is none. good bye. :-(
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Hmm. Yes, it’s such a ‘waste of time’ that you felt compelled to take a few minutes and comment instead of rescuing kittens out of a tree or feeding needy orphans. Or rescuing and feeding needy orphaned trees.
And as far as life improving values go, I’ll take the Eight Rather You Didn’ts over the Ten Commandments any day of the week.
Except for Saturdays. Religion has no place in Saturdays.
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“stop being so self concerned and go and help the less fortunate.”
Not that you need to know but I actually donate to a number of local
charities around here.
“Atleast Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all.”
As long as you’re not a Muslim/Buddhist/Sikh/Wiccan/non-believe/homosexual
“The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time.”
Who are you to call my beliefs a waste of time? I don’t judge you for “wasting time” in church.
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