you guys are so lame. stop being so self concerned and go and help the less fortunate. It’s quite obvious you’re only part of this ‘church’ because you are attention seekers. Atleast Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all. The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time.
–sohto
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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1. You assume no one helps anyone unless they are christian.
2. You assume christians do what they are supposed to do.
3. You have also just argued that educating people (the point of this site) is a waste of time.
Therefore … er… christians like you don’t believe in education but do believe in belittling other people’s opinions & imposing judgement on them based on no evidence whatsoever…
Ok, yep that’s why I joined this site, yep. Arrogance & intolerance are really quite ugly, especially when it’s based on nothing at all.
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Please ask the victims of priestly x-ian abuse about this “helping others.”
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As I sit in my house watching CNN, I’m held rapt by the story of a beheading on a Greyhound bus travelling through Canada. I wonder, isn’t that sort of thing only supposed to happen on Islamic Greyhound?
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Christians believe that “The meek will inherit the earth”. Since this likely means other christians, it could be said that you’re helping other christians to inherit the earth. The ‘Improving life for all’ bit doesn’t sound right just with that statement. I’ve seen quite a number of accounts of people killed in the name of christianity, and I don’t think those dead people were much improved from the encounter. Perhaps you should have said ‘Improving life for all god-fearing, rightly-practicing, bible-valuing, christ-following, honest-to-god, meek christians’.
In case you haven’t put this together, that’s a lot smaller portion of the population than ‘all’ of them. Get your facts straight. A lot of people tend to make the mistake of using ‘all’ where the words ‘very few’ apply when sending in pointless hate-mail like this.
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Christians build churches in Africa. And send over a night’s worth of food each Thanksgiving for 400000 Africans(about 0.087% of the African population). And show the Africans the love and care of Jesus. That’s pretty much all they care to do for the Africans, but at least it’s something.
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‘It’s quite obvious you’re only part of this ‘church’ because you are attention seekers’. Actually sohto, I found this website after reading about it in ‘The God Delusion’ by Richard Dawkins. I wasn’t seeking attention but I was seeking like minded people who have had enough of religious hypocrites such as yourself. I wouldn’t mind xtians so much if they only would stop brainwashing children into believing their crap. Read what Neal has posted and do some research, or are you afraid you might find the truth about your preposterous beliefs?
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OH, yea, christians really help people. Tell you what, one time I went to live in the same town as my Mother, and was recently divorced/pregnant. My mom asked her church if there was anything they could send my way as far as clothing from their charity box, and they refused to do even that much, saying I had to become a member of their church first. She asked them, what about community outreach? Apparently, that only works if the community belongs to that church.
So dont hand me that BS.
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Hello,
I would like to say that until I found and let FSM into my heart I was on a doomed path. I was doing drugs with hookers in a back alley in between going from Sunday school to Mass and stumbled across the teachings. As soon as I got finished date raping a girl I just met, and having homosexual sex. I read the teaching cover to cover.
This keep me awake all night as I could feel the demons inside of me leaving. I thrashed around my bed speaking in crazy tongues. The more I accepted the teachings the more the evil spewed out.
The next day on my way to work I found an old pirate hat. It is clear that my god want me to do his work. He has spoken to me and continues to speak to me. I know he wants me to travel and write his teachings now. I no longer have an urge to date rape or put penis in my mouth, my drug habit is cured and I have stopped beating women and children. It is amazing!
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“Atleast[soc] Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all.”
For all except the ones who are going to burn in hell for not believing of course.
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Why is Christianity and education so incompatible? And why, for “heaven’s sake” are you wasting your time sending emails to a website that is nothing but a waste of time?? Do 2 wastes of time equal productivity in your faith??
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Okay, so I’m a little late replying to this, but how retarded can you be? I do good things because I WANT to and it makes me feel good contributing to mankind, not because I’m trying to please God. I’ve volunteered at animal shelters, rescued, fixed, and found homes for stray animals on my own, I donate double blood on a regular basis, I volunteer for a veterans organization, and I’m a volunteer EMT/Firefighter. There are plenty of xtians who do these things, but maybe when your reasons for doing it are your own, and you aren’t trying to buy your way into heaven for your past sins, it’s much more pure and enjoyable. I would also like to point out, only because it bugs the heck out of me and it was mentioned earlier, that the religion that sends out the largest number of “missionaries” rarely does any charitable work while one their mission. It is all meant to convert. What a waste of manpower. At least most Christian missionaries at least go to build a school or a hospital or something and do some teaching on the side.
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Lets talk about this lame business. Christianity believes that we should be in war because it brings about the Apocalypse and millions suffer. Christianity has brought about genocide. Christianity encourages people to not to resolve problems that would end world hunger. I am not just talking about birth control. I am talking about social change that does better than just give a bowl of soup and then maybe you will have something to eat in the next few days. Christianity is not required to do good, and if a person needs religion to do do good, than that person is really an asshole, because they are doing it because God told them to, not because they believe in doing better.
You want people to stop wasting their time and help others? leave the church and encourage others to do the same.
You call us attention seekers? What a fucking hypocrite, of course a christian is one by definition anyway, because you are seeking attention yourself by posting your pathetic post, you attention whore.
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Followers of the FSM do far more for the unfortuante than other religious establishments. One pair of hands will do far more than a million prayers. Carry on dreaming.
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Wait, let me get this straight. Stoning gay people constitutes as “improving life for all”?
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sohto,
Nuh-uh. YOU guys are so lame.
Seriously, though, are you talking about the Xtians in the former Yugoslavia, who killed both each other, Muslims, and anyone else they could precisely because of centuries-old differences in belief about their god? How about Xtian terrorist groups around the world, for instance Indonesia, India, Ireland? No one here would reasonably claim all Xtians are bad people (misguided, yes, but we all have some of that at one point in time or another.) It’s similarly silly for you to make a contrary blanket statement about xtians, especially considering the evidence.
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Let’s not forget — the Spanish Inquisition was a “Faith-Based Initiative”! Find me just ONE organized religion that doesn’t believe that THEIR god is the RIGHT god and that they are obligated to kill anyone who may believe in another god or gods unless they convert to their way of thinking. I don’t think that we will ever see a holy war (or in our case “whole wheat” pasta war) waged in the name of the FSM. What’s wrong with a belief system that DOESN’T endorse violence or irrational fears? Besides, all of the stories in the bible are just that — stories, not facts (that is why they are not called bible facts) that were written down by a bunch of Jews who were wandering the desert for 40 years, starved and dehydrated. I bet I’d come up with some pretty interesting stories myself in those circumstances!!! And for sohto’s information, I am the product of a Catholic mother and a Jewish father (who is actually an Evangelical Atheist). I probably know more about being a good Christian than he/she ever will. Some of the MOST religious people I have met in my life have been the LEAST Christian and some of the LEAST religious have been the MOST Christian (by definition).
I, as my fellow FSM worshippers, do good for the sake of doing good. Because I am selfish (something that is punished in the Judeo/Christian world). I do good for others because I want to — because I feel good when I do!!! Keep up the good work, people!!!! Pasta for everyone — can I be a pirate now?
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We are the attention seekers? You, my fat friend, came to our church and blasted us. Not the other way around. When was the last time a Pastafarian burst into your church and started with the “Blah blah blahing”? Oh, that’s right, we don’t do shit like that, you little attention whore.
And if a dude needs a religion to do the right thing then that dude is nothing more then an asshat. I don’t need to follow an invisible man to do the right thing, I mean I’m not blind, figure of speech, I am in fact, legally blind and am still finding my way into becoming a good person (I’m fourteen).
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do these get send to this sohto knobhead?
they should.
life for all? how bout all the people being persectued because of something someone wrote 2000 years ago? yea all they Gays are loving it im sure… you shouldnt be accepting them though, thats not what the Lord preached in that book.
you cant adapt to changing values in society.
“You speak of morals as given by your god, but I ask of you, is it greater for a man to act in hope of reward and fear of punishment, or to act because it is the right thing to do?”
some atheist quote site.
that pretty much sums it up. theres no intrinsic value in doing good for you christians. you do it for your own sake, to escape hell.
thats not brave. its not caring.
you make me sick.
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Hey Soho,
Got any Crystal Meth? It helps me strengthen my christian values.
Signed,
Ted Haggard
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Dear sohto,
I suspect you are very young and are speaking your church’s words and not your own. No worries, we forgive you if you are still young and naive and do not know better than to say what you say. In ten years when you have reached over 20 I expect you to come back and laugh at yourself for being so ignorant when you were young. But that is all OK still as we can’t expect someone that young as you to have formed his/hers own morals yet.
Kind regards,
Andreas
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I once sat in on an affluent communty’s adult discussion group regarding christian development and charity work. I’d like to share some of the comments I overheard. One was a Mother, saying”there’s just no time for charity work, we’re just too busy doing cultural things, going to shows and so on”, while the Fathers at the other table were saying “God bless the poor, they work for next to nothing!”(this is no lie).
Would you explain again the part about standing on values that improve life for all? I seemed to have missed something there.
Even still, may noodles and sauce be with them.
RAmen.
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We are helping the less fortunate… you have a tiny little brain, we are helping you expand it. Praise the FSM.
RAmen
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I’m a little late too, but I want to add that at least the FSM accepts Gay people for who they are. Now tell me if Jesus loves everyone, why does he not love gay people? Wait I bet Jesus does love gay people almost as much as the FSM, it’s just Christ’s follower’s don’t actually believe in the value’s that the bible teaches; they have their own views of what they perceive to be right and wrong.
I believe in the values of the FSM. Christ is soooo 2000 years ago.
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yes,because trashing on FSM is really helping feed the homeless,right?
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Since when have Christians done much good, here’s a little history lesson, Crusades were embarked by christians, Christians have been so self centered that there version of Christianity was right that they killed other Christians throughout the centuries.
However we have caused no violence except through out saintly pirates getting booty of non believers. All Hail the Mighty FSM and his Noodly appendage
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So when Christians to good things to improve life for evryone does that include hatred of gays or other things of that nature.(i cant think of something else…but i will) At least pastafarians don’t hate anyone.
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Really, when did you make up this crap?
Child, if you want to steer us off the path of Heresy, don’t do it by calling us “lame.” That can really hurt a man’s feelings.
Also: Check your facts, bible-hugger. Stringing together meaningless insults does not make for a good bash, you flesh-eyed, weasel-sniffing, morphodite-looking, woman-beating, carpet-sleeping, box-chewing, ass.
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WHY DO ALL CHRISTIANS THINK THAT THEY ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THAT CONTRIBUTE TO CHARITY AND DO GOOD THINGS!! other people do to u know ur not that special
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Christianity’s worst enemy (evil) is EDUCATION.
The more you know, the less you believe that crap.
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Really? As an organization that sells amusing t-shirts, I’d say we don’t contribute to the community much. But as individuals, most of us do. We feel that you should contribute without someone asking you to. It could be anything from habitat for humanity, cleaning up the roadside for your local town, or mowing the lawn for a disabled neighbor. Its also far more fulfilling when you do it simply because you want to do good than to score points for some afterlife. Next time you do some community service, ask yourself why you’re doing it, and see if you can live with being that damn selfish.
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From CNN, August 10th, 2008 – another evidence of Christians improving the quality of life for all:
BALTIMORE, Maryland (AP) — A toddler whose remains were found inside a suitcase in Philadelphia in the spring was starved to death by members of a religious cult, including his mother, in part because he refused to say “amen” after meals, police said.
He was 19 months old. Pretty sure he wouldn’t know what he was really saying. Pastafarians wouldn’t care if he didn’t say “R’amen”.
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Good choice! Now go call your buddy ex-Nazi Radzinger and tell him to keep refusing Africans the use of condoms, ’cause that was a real life-changer. Obviously you can only help people when you’re christian.
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Just like all those Christian priests helping little boys out of their underpants. What is the current sex-abuse settlement now, $16, $17 million?
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lol you guys are funny. Although I am a practising Christian, and while I realise this is a tongue in cheek way of making fun of religious views in general, it’s a very funny one. I’ve spent the last couple of hours splitting my sides with laughter as i’ve trawled through this site lol. His noodly appendage cracks me up everytime, seriously you guys are genius lolol.
May you all be bathed in a richly divine sauce or red wine and sauteed shallots, sprinkled with delicate herbs as his noodly appendage caresses you into eternal bliss :-)
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I’m worried that if enough people believe in the FSM, then she will actually start to exist. I suspect that it all started off as a joke, but people shouldn’t meddle with narrative causation, it’s very dangerous. Look what happened to the martians! They started believing in the giant thirsty galump, then it manifested and drank all the water! We should learn from their mistake. THE FSM DOES NOT EXIST! AND IT IS DANGEROUS!
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You dirt old man, Lord of Chaos. I bet you are just like one of them you dirt sodden stinking old fing! Why accuse priests when there are many of you doing the same? Hey?
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Ratzinger a Nazi? I thought that wsa a drink. I think you on this site are all nazis and planning the next war!
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Well Lord of Chaos I wouldn’t like to take your underpants of they are probably full of crap, just like what is coming out of your mouth. Grow up!
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1) If this website is a waste of time, then why come here?
2) If you are Christian, which it sounds like you are, why, are you not helping people, instead of insulting them.
3) What about gays? Are their lives improved by Christianity?
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“At least Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all” right like declaring war on countries and killing 300 million people
“The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time”
ignoring the fact that the quote has bad grammar, this site is based on fighting creationism and it is one of the reasons creatinism isn’t being tought in class right now
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Here is an early example of Christianity “improving life for all” from
religioustolerance.org:
“Later in the fourth century, Emperor Theodosian issued a series of decrees or rescripts to “suppress all rival religions, order the closing of the temples, and impose fines, confiscation, imprisonment or death upon any who cling to the older [Pagan] religions.” 3 The period of relative religious tolerance under Paganism in the Roman Empire ended as non-Christian temples were seized and converted to Christian use or destroyed. Priests and Priestesses were exiled or killed. Pauline Christianity and Judaism were the only permitted religions. To follow another faith group was an offense punishable by death.”
As pointed out by another Pastafarian, the period of time when Christianity had total political sway in Europe is known as “the Dark Ages”. I propose that radical Islam has now ushered in an “Arabic Dark Ages”. Good times for all!
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My hat is off to Jamie…. I respect your Christian views and love your open mind, you deserve all that is out there in kind! I really hope that you invite more people that share your opinion to this site and maybe the world could become a more tolerant place. RAmen
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Prudence there are many people that molest children but don’t you find it more disgusting when it’s done in the name of your GOD?
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Oh and also Prudence, when you are ready to test your faith and sign over your house to me just let me know, I also want your cars and bank account… ya know all of the things you wont need when Jesus comes to take you home. I’m still waiting for you to prove your faith to me by giving me all of your worldly belongings. I will actually make a deal with you, I believe the Flying Spaghetti Monster will be here before Jesus, so give me your date and I will give you mine and if yours is after mine I will give you all of my belongings. I just know that you have so much FAITH in the LORD that you will have no problem giving me everything that you own.
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More examples of the benevolence of religion:
“Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
- Lord Acton -Catholic Historian -made in reference to the power of the Vatican and earthly kings.
“History explodes the myth of a papacy lily white in the matter of truth. In an age of barbarism, the popes led the pack; in an age of enlightenment, they trailed the field. And their record was worst when, contrary to the Gospel, they tried to impose their truth by force…The record of the Inquisition would be embarrassing for any organization; for the Catholic Church, it is devastating…What history shows is that, for more than six centuries without a break, the papacy was the sworn enemy of elementary justice. Of eighty popes in a line from the 13th century on, not one of them disapproved of the theology and apparatus of the Inquisition. On the contrary, one after another added his own cruel touches to the workings of this deadly machine.” -Peter de Rosa- Catholic Historian “Vicars of Christ: The Dark Side of the Papacy”
But that was ancient times, right? OK, how about the 1940’s? Recent enough for you?
During World War II, the Pavelic Regime Offered Croatian Jews Conversion To Catholicism & Contributing Personal Property – In Return For Not Being Deported To Death Camp. However, IsraCast Has Uncovered Evidence That Even These Jews & Their Families Were Later Executed By the Ustasha.
…The town of Vukovar, located on the Croatian border with Serbia, is but an example of what transpired in Croatia where the Ustasha movement was unleashed, with the support of the Catholic church, to launch a sadistic campaign of murder and torture against Serbs, Jews and Gypsies. The Ustasha barbarity was said to have even shocked their German masters.
You may say, but that was just a fanatical militia, not the Church itself! So, how about this:
Alojzije (Aloysius) Viktor Cardinal Stepinac (May 8, 1898 – February 10, 1960) was a Croatian Catholic Prelate. He was Archbishop of Zagreb from 1937 to 1960. In 1946, in a verdict that polarised public opinion both in Yugoslavia and beyond, a Belgrade court found him guilty of collaborating with the Ustaše and complicity in allowing the forced conversion of Orthodox Serbs to Catholicism. He was sentenced to 16 years in prison, but after five years was released and confined to his home parish of Krašić. He was appointed a Cardinal in 1952 by Pope Pius XII. In 1998 Pope John Paul II declared him a martyr and beatified him, which again polarised public opinion.
Not to just pick on Catholics, maybe next week I’ll post some of the fine things Protestants have done to – ehhh, FOR – others!
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Better, if you follow christianity, if not, genocide and holy wars~!
Thank you CFSM, I am now a true follower!
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Hi Darwin’s Monkey, Don’t be such a knoll. Knolls are silly. But there again if you are darwins monkey you wouod think illogical as you scratch your rear end for fleas. Jesus is Lord and is coming soon and EVERY KNEE will bow even you as a mponkey will. Don’t believe me? Wait and see and then you will be wailing like a monkey. meow!
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Hey! What happened to my Protestants post? While I try to recreate it, I thought it may be amusing to see how accurate the Jehovah’s Witnesses are. (Hope if I’m ever arrested the witnesses are better than these clowns!)
In 1876, Russell met Nelson H. Barbour and subsequently adopted
Barbour’s eschatology. Barbour had predicted the visible return
of Christ at 1873, and when that failed to occur, he revised the
prediction to 1874. Soon after Barbour’s second disappointment,
his group decided Christ had returned invisibly to Earth in 1874.
They differed from most Second Adventists, teaching that all mankind
descending from Adam would be given a chance to live in a paradise
on Earth. In 1877, Barbour and Russell jointly published the book
The Three Worlds detailing their views. A gathering of the saints to
heaven was expected for 1878 and the year 1914 to mark the end of
Gentile control of the city of Jerusalem and the final end of the
rule of human governments.
Early editions predicted that Armageddon would culminate in 1914.
During the 1960s and early 1970s, various references were made in
Witnesses’ literature and at assemblies, implying that Christ’s
thousand-year millennial reign might begin by 1975.
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An example of Protestants making the world a better place –
You just can’t beat the Catholic Church when it comes to a good massacre, but you have to give the Mormons credit for trying!
Here is a recount of the Mountain Meadows Massacre of 1857:
Initially intending to orchestrate an Indian massacre, two men with leadership roles in local military, church and government organizations, Isaac C. Haight and John D. Lee, conspired to lead militiamen disguised as Native Americans along with a contingent of Paiute tribesmen in an attack. The emigrants fought back and a siege ensued. Intending to leave no witnesses of Mormon complicity in the siege and also intending to prevent reprisals that would complicate the Utah War, militiamen induced the emigrants to surrender and give up their weapons. After escorting the emigrants out of their fortification, the militiamen and their tribesmen auxiliaries executed approximately 120 men, women and children. Seventeen younger children were spared.
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‘At least Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all.’
The whole point of the FSM is to do away with the representation of the Christian creation myth as science in schools. Please explain to me how raising a nation of children ignorant of empirical science improves life for anyone?
“Sapientia genetrix timoris est”
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