you guys are so lame. stop being so self concerned and go and help the less fortunate. It’s quite obvious you’re only part of this ‘church’ because you are attention seekers. Atleast Christians help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all. The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time.
–sohto
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Leave it to the Christians to attack anything they don’t like.
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Why I have to admit that most churchs are out to help the needy. My problem is how the (insert any religion here) use their “sacred document” to control people. I am an atheist and would bet that I am a better person then 95% of those with religion. For us Atheist this is the only time we have on earth. There is no afterlife, no heaven to go to. So we make the best of it while it’s here, we live life every day knowing that when it’s over thats it.
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As a follower of The Almighty Noodlyness I am most interested to know how you classify us all as “self concerned” and “attention seekers”. Firstly I must point out that you sought out this site and posted on our forum, we most definitely did not seek you out and try to claim we have any better values than those of your belief (as opposed to some certain groups of Christians that seem to find it fun to come knock on my door and try to convince me of this and that…).
We of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster do not look down upon any other religion but simply want our own religion to be respected the same as any other out there.
Best regards,
Pirate Number 12
- Praise the noodly appendages! (With a bit of ketchup!)
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Then why are 80% of the violent criminals in US prisons Christians, while Atheists only represent 0.2% of ALL people in prison?
.
Studies also indicate that we help the needy more than Chirstians. Probably because we value THIS life, and not some fantsay one that’s supposed to come next.
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Help the less fortunate??? Like who among the christian faith does that?? Let’s see Jim baker?? No!!
All of the wealthy Rolls Royce driving evangelists?? No!! How about your God in general?? No!!
Hey Sohto have you ever been to Africa or the middle east and seen small children starving, I’m talking the smallest of infants, a child that will never make it to the age of three because of the lack of nourishment and rampant disease carried by flies and ticks that swarm their bodies, you see these children don’t have food, but for ticks they are food!! Try checking out the water sources these people live with everyday, when your shower and your toilet become your drinking water and vice versa. Or you could just sit around your house with your Xbox rolling and judge others. But I’m sure that you and your friends do a lot of praying for these people and your God is really paying attention to the pitiful murmurs of those who can’t do a thing but send ” the amount a cup of coffee a day would cost”!!
” Two hands working will achieve far more than a thousand hands praying” !!! Stop by the site the next time you’ve done more for people than pray, I’ve never seen a child sleep better because he or she is full from a delicious plate of prayer.
RAmen
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i don’t like how people make false accusations towards me. I spend lots of time doing community service and this person tells me i am not? How do they know i don’t own a non-profit that gathers funds and items for people who can’t come by these so easily? Just assuming things doesn’t normally work out.
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Pirate Number 12
“Praise the noodly appendages! (With a bit of ketchup!)”
Now THAT is blasphemy!
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Not that the Christian churches would not seek attention. Noooo, never ever they would. Not them for sure. And not with the aid of burning stakes, some entertaining which-hunting or a handy sword. Never!
On the other hand, those stakes might be a great idea to cook pasta properly on. An opportunity clearly missed by the C’ies
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PS. I happily realized you just wasted a lot of time typing your entry, you yourself said so …
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So, as a Christian, you naturally assume that nobody who doesn’t fear your god would ever consider being nice to others?
Personally, I find that your values are flawed: I’m nice to others and donate to charity not out of fear but out of kindness. Charity isn’t really charity when you’re doing it out of fear or obligation. Don’t you think that God, being all knowing, would be able to tell the difference between a nice person and one who is only trying to avoid damnation?
Oh, and on the subject of not wasting time and money, how much does it cost to build a church? All the time and money that went into the fancy architecture and interior design could have been spent on helping the less fortunate.
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And yet you saw fit to “waste” your time by submitting your message to us. Why aren’t you out volunteering to help the needy?
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Why do you stand on your values? They must be getting pretty squished.
Besides, most Christians only help other Christians. We are trying to bring back ALL of the pirates!
With Noodly Love – RAmen
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So Pastafarians don’t “help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all”? Says who?
First, you can be a Christian/Buddhist/Muslim/Jew, etc. AND a Pastafarian. It’s about denying (un)Intelligent Design, not necessarily religion.
Secondly, don’t fall into the trap of confusing religion with morality. Totally separate concepts.
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I love those that paint with such a large brush that “you guys” covers both sexes and all the people of varying backgrounds, morals and those with differing reasons for being here. Thats like saying that Christianity covers Crusaders, missionaries in early European North America, slavers, bigots and those that deem women inferior. Get real.
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Yea, because Christians don’t seek attention at all, and they never act any way other than to benefit others.
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Typical Christian…they believe that because they go to church where they are told to do good works that they must all be good people. What about the child molesters who hang out in the churches (there were 2 at my old church), and the insurance reps, lawyers and realtors who go there to network? Get over yourself Sohto! I do more for society now than I ever did as a Christian…because now I think for myself and see what needs to be done, instead of having some administrative group take my money and tell me it’s going to the “greater good!”
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Dear Sohto,
I also disagree angrily with the tenets of The Church of the FSM and for similar reasons that you do. As a Prophet of Actual Rice Of All Kinds (AROAK) I have been revealed the divine Truth that pasta (for example Spaghetti or Flying Spaghetti) is a lame waste of time compared to rice.
In part this is because pasta is heavily processed from grains and usually also requires added milk and other adulterants, and is thus false compared to the original seed of All Kinds of Rice, which however may be sweetened or have milk or other items added simply for added deliciousness.
Also, as you know, rice is very healthful and has helped many people to have food and sustenance over the years. My own divine revelation (and I am confident that historical evidence agrees) tells me that more people have eaten rice than pasta or Christians. Therefore, Prima Facie, AROAK is the most helpful and also True Way and supporting AROAK is not as much a waste of time as FSM or Christianity.
Thank You,
Otis – Prophet of AROAK
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yes my life is rather good. i would like to thank the christians that burnt/drowned all the witches back in the 1600s :) although it’s a shame i won’t get to eat any gingerbread houses :(
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Hey how about we help the less fortunate without dragging our silly mythology along, or worse forcing it on them in exchange for the help.
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SOHTO (What the hell does that stand for), waste your time as you see fit, and let us waste our time as we see fit. There is no greater waste of time, in my opinion, than proselytizing any of the organized religions. As far as Christian magnanimity, consider the money spent to construct “magnificent cathedrals” for the worship and glory of your God. Yea, even in the midst of great poverty and need are these expensive temples built, often from the tithes of those who live in squalor. May the All-Wise FSM bless your benevolent soul.
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His Noodliness is devoted to defending poor, defenseless children from the onslaught of religion taught as science. This is not self-centered but obviously good and true. RAmen. Arg.
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So apparently the 13 years I spent helping impoverished inner-city Americans and the 15 years and counting I have spent helping abandoned pets don’t cut any ice with the xian god, huh?
“The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time.” So I guess in your xian opinion things like advocating tolerance, humility and respect are a complete waste of time. Well, that does seem to fit in with such common xian practices as social ostracism and condemnation of non-xians, guilt infliction, and self-glorification. If you care to pay attention, you might notice that the Pastafarians who reply to obnoxious posts like yours are doing so defensively, not offensively. You and other xians like you come stomping in here uninvited, poop on our furniture, and expect us to apologize to you for getting your poop dirty. Here’s a suggestion: shut up and go away.
RAmen
ET
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Christians are so lame. stop being so self concerned and go and help the less fortunate. It’s quite obvious you’re only part of this ‘church’ because you are attention seekers. Atleast (sic) we help the less fortunate and stand on values that are based on improving life for all. The kind of stuff on Christian site is just a complete waste of time.
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first of all, if it’s such a waste of time… then why are you here? also, where did you get the idea that anyone on this site is “self concerned” and refuses to help the less fortunate? are you so presumptuous as to assume that anyone who doesn’t follow standard christian values is only concerned with themselves? so.. following that logic.. the only way i can be a good person and help others is if i am a christian. wow, that’s quite an ego you have!
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If all Christians did what you said, I really don’t think there’d be so many “less fortunate” in this world. Stop trying to make christianity look like it’s better than any other religion-or non-religion. It’s not.
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“The kind of stuff on this site is just a complete waste of time.” sohto – Thank you for wasting your time on our website! LOL
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Well for starters I donate to toys for tots, the salvation army, spent about four years of my life candy stripping at the hospital spending atleast forty hours a week thier. I am that guy who gives the people with the signs on the side of the interstate or at gas stations money (while I know there are those that lie and don’t really need the money I can’t shake the feeling that what if some them are really in need.)I volunteered at daycamps, and help non-profit organization when I have free time. I do all of this not for religion, so I don’t see why it matters if your church does something for the community it really matters more about what you do for those in need.
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“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”……… “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth” (it goes on like that for a fare while)
In genesis, the bible gives you the impression the god created the earth and everything on it for us and for us to use. The human race has been doing that for millions of years and the earth cant cope. clearly (unless god intended us to destroy his creation) were not on the right track, in my opinion that is one big boo boo. If the bible is wrong about that then why can’t it be wrong about other things. I for one don’t see the difference in love between two people of the same gender. Love it something that we need more of on this earth and you people keep getting in the way. So go pray or something and stop ruining life for the rest of us.
p.s I’m not saying that all Christians are bad, I’m simply saying you suck and that you should go away
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It is so simple… we do these things to help others less fortunate than us, not to try and save our souls from damnation, shame on you and all other christians, as if your god can’t see through your reasoning for caring.
Our Pasta Will Never Burn!
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It sound like you only help people because your religion tells you to? If you did it of your own accord you would not need to bring christianity into it. And why do you help people? is it because your bullied into it by your god as you may suffer the fate of eternal damnation. You only improve the lives of people when it suits you. You act on guilt. How many people has your religion helped without trying to convert them?
See what ive done here. Ive made assumptions about you based on something your part of as appose to who you may be. If your so devote why are you judging people. I thought that you had to leave that to your god to judge others.
youve openly accused people you know nothing about and judged them without thinking about the good they might be doing and discarded there ideas without consideration. Wait a minute isnt that what the bible says happened with Jesus at the hands of the romans and other religious groups of the time?
Do you honestly think that christians are the only people who help others because thats how it comes accross and if you do your an idiot
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Mhm. I can see that Christians are obviously so caring about the poor that those multi million pound churches and cathedrals are… what? Refugee centers? Don’t make me laugh. Those guys are the biggest hypocrites of them all.
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May lord FSM bless me, I am a true believer in FSM, this website was started as a joke – but it was actually a well taught out strategy by FSM.
Yesterday Lord FSM spoke to me in my dreams, he commanded me to give this message to the world of mortals on planet earth.
Fellow earthlings :
Believe in FSM and get blessed once you die you will proceed to a restaurant where you can stay and have meat balls and noodles for eternity.
Else you will be banished in a kitchen where you will be made to cook meat balls and noodles for eternity.
Also note you just need to believe in FSM, nothing else is needed on your part.
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if christians care so much about the poor than why don’t they sell some of that fancy expensive shit in their churches to help the poor rather than hide behind some religion and claim they help those in need when people like ET, the Extra Terrestrial, and TRDD realy do help those in need.
by the way you guys deserve an award or something cool. i just volunteer at the nursing home, and when i see somebody holding their hat out for money i give them my change. so what do you do to help the people in need all mighty christian ?
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Ah those christians and their many christian sects… they have done some wonderful things…
Catholics – condeming contraception, and so causing many converted third world countries to have too many children that they can’t afford to feed.
Mormons – Sneaking into uncontacted Amazon villages to burn down all their buildings, texts, clothing, mouments and culture. And giving them western clothes, christian churches and bibles as replacements
Oh and don’t forget those lovely klu klux klan chaps – I don’t think I need to explain all the horros they’ve commited.
Yep, those christians truly are the best.
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So, all the giant roadside church signs, the TV televangelism channels, the conventions, the lobby groups, the protesters (God hates fags! et al), the youth groups with the matching t-shirts at the amusement park…those aren’t attention seeking?
Organized Christianity and religion in general is all about attention seeking. THey have to keep those “donations” rolling in!
I have yet to see any FSM followers crying for attention like the so-called “established” faiths.
I’m curious why the Christians feel they are the only ones who do charitable work (and, btw, why isn’t their god doing anything to help the less fortunate?). I’ve yet to see a christian charity operation that didn’t have some selfish motive, such as self-promotion, preaching, evangelism, public attention, etc.
The difference here is, we do the charitable thing, and DON’T call attention to it so the world can pat us on the pack. We do it because it’s the right thing to do.
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That’s odd, I could have sworn that the large patch on my arm is covering the wound where I just volunteered to give some blood to the people who need it and now I learn that it never happened because I wasn’t being coerced by some supernatural bully! I had no idea that threats of eternal hellfire is a necessary part of charity! Does this mean that I’ll have to stop giving money to Amnesty International as well? :(
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This is so funny. How pious and righteous you are! Too bad you can’t use “spell check”.
How utterly xian of you – so many of you spend so much time slamming others’ beliefs, it’s amazing you even have time to worship or do good deeds.
I have absolutely nothing against anyone practicing a religion, any religion, as long as they don’t support violent behavior, hate, or enjoy stuffing their beliefs down our throats. Oh, I’m sorry – that was a perfectly descriptive definition of YOUR beliefs, wasn’t it?
I’ll stick with Pastafarianism thank you, it’s much more friendly and the sauce is better, plus noodly appendages make me feel happy. :)
Unlike you and your ilk, I am not vindictive, I will pray that you find peace and happiness in a more enlightened state, and that your mind becomes more opened to our world and the people in it, especially since it’s so obvious that the “End Times” are here. Good luck with that, by the way, I hear the price for sin is pretty high, and it sounds like you’re leaning in that direction.
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Just finished watching Keith Olberman last night, his pop culture story was about 2 Christ sightings. In the first one, a man found a Cheeto which had a head and two widely extended arms. Naturally it was a Cheeto of Cheesus on the cross.
The other one had a couple showing the markings of the fur on the back of their cat which they claimed bore an uncanny resemblance to you know who. All during the time they were filming they were arranging the cat’s fur to highlight the resemblance. Naturally, the cat was giving them his best “get the fuck away from my fur, you crazy bastards” growls.
So do Xtains spend all their time doing good? Debatable at best. We’ve gone through the list of things done in the name of various deities, including J.C. so often it’s become monotonous. We’ve mocked Cheesus sighting with FSM sighting of our own. So what’s left? Answer: to prove that Jesus was not a historical person and his biography in the gospels is nothing more than a plagiarization of the “biographies” of earlier pagan sun god religions, that were founded before the claimed birth of christ. There is ample documentation of this.
–Jesus is one of twenty or so deities born as a man to a vigin.
–All of these deities died on the cross, were burried and rose from the dead in three days time
–All of these deities were born on December 25th and were visited by 3 Kings
–All of these deities walked on water, made water into wine, and brought the dead back to life
–All of these deities had twelve disciples, including one who betrayed him
–All of these deities were considred redeemers for some original sin against god
–All of these deities ascended into heaven
–All of these deiteis were called “Lamb or God” or “Son of God”
–And al of these deities were believed in long before his followers claim J.C. was even born.
So what does that tell us of the liklihood that even some of the most basic facts of Christ’s life? Well, for starters, there is no independent historical confirmation of the historical Jesus. The Account of the Roman historian Josephus, is now consideed a forgery, and no other accounts mention even the most basic facts (death and crucifixion).
So no independent historical confirmation of his life and a biography plagiarized from earlier sun god religions makes it a far fetched proposition that Jesus even lived, or, if he did, that anything in the gospels is anything but a fabrication , and a not very original one at that.
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Teaching religion to children is child abuse. I’m about protecting them from abuse.
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Granted there has been some good work to help the needy by Christian groups but they are few and far between and nearly always try to convert the ones they are helping. It has been going on throughout history. The funny thing is, the people they try to help and convert usually end up far worse then before with confused ideas and an incomplete understanding of the religion being taught to them. For some strange reason Christians can’t seem to mind their own business. They can’t even agree amongst they’re selves. Why anybody would want to follow it is beyond me. Catholics and Protestants kill each other all the time. They’re both Christians though. Weird.
During the last several big wars I’d like to know just how much money the Vatican gave to the needy.
How much food, water, clothing and shelter did the church donate? I bet the figure is remarkably small. Especially when you realize just how much money is in the Vatican vaults. They’ve been extorting, oops, collecting for centuries now. Some of these new Christian churches cost tens of millions to build. And they keep building more! The mind boggles. Aren’t there enough? You don’t see very many of them getting torn down. They must breed like cockroaches. I’ve seen fleets of Cadillacs parked outside of some of them. At it’s not for a funeral either. These places are often rolling in dough. They’re not helping the needy, they’re just helping themselves.
Here at the Church of the FSM we do however help the needy. We don’t often succeed but every once in a while we teach the blind Christians to see. I certainly don’t consider that to be a waste of time.
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Blah, blah, blah,blah, jebus, jebus, jebus, jebus, bible, bible, bible, bible………..same ole crap every time.
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Who do you think donates all the pasta to the less fortunate? Ignorance is an epidemic, religion is not the cure.
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Yeah….
I am an atheist but I still went to help out my old church because they actually needed help. I don’t believe in any of the stuff but I still go to help. Apparently that doesn’t matter because since I go on this site I am a horrible person.
Also I try to give blood as much as I can, I’m an Eagle Scout, have logged over 300 hours of community service from Scouts alone, and I am going to a military institute. All of those things though are negated because I go to one site.
You talk about how Christians are so loving and caring towards other people. From what I’ve seen of this site all they do is attack people who have a satirical religion. Also it always seems to be Christians getting offended about things that concern religion. We do not attack your religion or beliefs, you attack ours when you do things like this.
No Christians truly act like Jesus.
As Ghandi said “I like your Jesus, but I do not like you Christians”
Christians do not follow the ways of Jesus, if they did then none would be on this site bashing our rejection of religion.
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Skepticism
We need skepticism. We need people who will say “well what if we can’t know anything about the world and it was created by an invisible, ethereal being who doesn’t have a beginning or any evidence to support his existence yet is responsible for all our life experiences?”
We need Christians.
We need people like this sohto character in every stage of our development as a civilization so that we can look upon our behavior and either remember the real meanings of life or figure them out.
:) Religion has helped me to discover a coherent system of life meanings that does not involve deities or “cause I was told so” information of any kind. For that, I have to thank Religion as a person might thank an uncomfortable latrine for inspiring them to invent a toilet.
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I’d like to thank Mr Gleeballs *see below* for saying something I’ve been thinking for quite a while now. Why the hell do you only help people because your religion commands it? Help people because they need help, not because it earns you brownie points with the giant salt-pillar fairy/smurf you worship. That smacks of utter selfishness. (and why DO you worship the salt pillar fairy? salt pillars get boring and are untasty. Pasta reigns eternal!)
RAmen
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As an atheist, I laugh at Christians who prosecute Pastafarians. Would a loving God want you to make a hell for Pastafarians? I got the impression that’s for Him to do.
As a scientist, the FSM is a much more likely deity than the Christian God. So many people think that the FSM can’t exist because Spaghetti didn’t exist, but that’s where they’re wrong. Could you tell me the history of Spaghetti real quick? It seems as though you can only track it to the FSM.
In conclusion, I challenge you to think on this: Who in the right mind would email the church in order to tell them how lame they are? A zealot? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
In the name of the Meatballs (from the Macaronist sect),
RAmen
Oh wait, I’m atheist. unRAmen.
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Beastly,
Since Amnesty is an ” evil”organisation that endorses abortion for rape-victims, yes of course you should! In the eyes of many “good” christians anyway….
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“Atleast Christians help the less fortunate” – are you kidding!? When?
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What a great group you are Pastafarians! Many volunteer (as do I) and all are enlightened!
I am so glad to be wasting time with this group of people. Thanks Bobby for a great place to visit!!
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I took a ten minute drive yesterday and saw 3 different christianity billboards. And you call us the attention seekers. I mean what religion advertises?!? “Oh man! that sign says Jesus will send me to Heaven! I better convert!!” Enjoy your hypocritical fairy tales.
RAmen
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