holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
-a person with a brain
[I thought this one was fake at first but I've changed my mind. What do you guys think? -bobby]
It must be fake. The level of idiocy is horrifically sickening. I could understand if they didn’t know the difference between Deism and Christianity, but not knowing that there is nothing Christian about Christmas, and how it was originally a pagan holiday banned by the Christian powers at the time is rather unnerving. Also, “…under god…” was added in 1954 by the Knights of Columbus. Also, “In God We Trust” wasn’t added to coins until 1864, and wasn’t added to paper money until 1957. Anyone could tell that we were founded as a Deist nation and have since become more and more Christian. This person my have a brain, but it atrophied long ago.
The level of profanity, randomly capitalized words, complete disregard of grammar and atrocious spelling is consistent with other hate mail, so it could possibly be real.
Peace
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FAKE.
.
Or brain-dead.
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i think its just one pissed off religous person tring to get rid of pastafarianism without relising what we stand for.
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It must be fake. It’s too stupid to be real. And even if it is real, it is too stupid to deserve a response. Nice try, though.
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I….damn. I HOPE this is a troll, because if it isn’t…..
I fear for humanity.
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I sure hope that he is kidding, because holy shit. I love the double standard though. Who gets offended by deeming the nation Christian? All of you are just hating on us, because were the best! We don’t do anything wrong!
Then on the other hand, you have Catholics trying to get PZ Myers fired because he criticized the Eucharist.
Sigh.
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I think He has a problem with spelling and road rage crisis
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I know that I take exception to a Christmas present. Given the poor spelling/grammar/logic displayed, the signature is by far my favorite irony of this letter.
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I think it’s fake – true Christians are scandalized by the commercialization of Christmas, and certainly do not believe that celebration of the holiday is enough to make one a Christian.
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I think it’s really real, Bobby…
This is why we cannot beat them with logic, fellow pirates. Faith is the tenacious clinging to a single pebble of belief, fully in the face of mountains… no planets… no galaxies of proof against it. Mr. Brain here would fully cling to his beliefs even if Jesus himself, looking like the bizarre, long-haired hippy white guy that the churches always seem so fixated upon, even if Jesus himself came down and told Mr. Brain to knock it off, he would still cling to this belief. Sad really. It’s a good thing that we know the TRUTH, and the truth tastes good…
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I’m not so sure this is a fake, there are actually people this stupid in the word.
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Nah, if the others are real then this one has to be too…
But my my, hasn’t Mr Dictionary deserted us again?
Notice he said nothing about christianity in schools. I think it’s because he’s never been to one.
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Unfortunately, I’ve run into far too many of these people to actually believe he/she/it is fake. Chances are, it’s some angry little kid who’s listened to his/her/its parents too much to be able to think for itself. Unfortunately, this kid and/or its parents are sadly mistaken about…well, everything.
It seems they have forgotten that Christmas is actually a “national” Pagan holiday, not a Christian one. Therefore, by their logic, that person is a fake Christian because he/she/it observes it as a holiday, and I’m willing to bet the same can be said for Easter. Labeling it something different from what it originally was called doesn’t make it a miraculously new holiday, it just has a new label now. But, sadly, this is obviously enough to fool the not-so-intelligent and even less educated. (Of course, not all non-religious people partake in Christmas. My boyfriend doesn’t, and I don’t – as much as possible while being a minor in a Christian household.)
Also, let’s take a moment to review our history, shall we?
“The religious views of the Founding Fathers are of great interest to propagandists of today’s Americans right, anxious to push their version of history. Contrary to their view, the fact that the United States was not founded as a Christian nation was early stated in the terms of a treaty with Tripoli, drafted in 1796 under George Washington and signed by John Adams in 1797:
‘As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.’”
And in conclusion, class, people suck.
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Well, it certainly seems like other hate mails – atrocious spelling, leaps of logic, and total disregard for facts – so it does seem legit.
Scarecrow -
I haven’t seen anything on here of any Pastafarians getting “affended” by the pledge of “allegince”, so I assume you made up this part, probably from having a bad digestion. Might I suggest some noodly goodness, easy on the marina and cheese.
Christmas is an appropriated holiday, originally the festival of Saturnalia held by the Romans. The Christian church(es) at that time couldn’t stop people from celebrating during the Saturnalia – including the exchange of gifts and lighted trees and December 25th (q.v. Mithraism) – so they appropriated the holiday and made it their own. The Roman pantheon and Mithraism passed out of favor, so these traditions only remained in Christian celebrations.
You mean that only Christians can exchange gifts on Christmas??? You’re not really from around here (i.e., U.S.) are you?
Christians just have the best PR. They appropriate everything, even their mythology.
The “nation wasnt found by christians is dumb” argument isn’t worth addressing, since it’s already been addressed many times on this site (and through history). But I will say this much – most haters like yourself seem desperate to find something that validates your belief, so small facts like some of the founding fathers (and mothers) were no doubt Christians gets fallaciously stretched to mean “the country was founded by Christians”, which “who the fuck r we kidding” is really code for “founded as a Christian nation.”
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This one is probably fake; there are too many misspelled words.
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Well there have been lots of muttering that it’s to stupid to be true – well all I can say is some people believe that man and dinosaurs co-existed and the world was created in six days. I think it’s a fake but there’s always that nagging doubt that yes people really are this stupid.
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I’m calling Poe’s Law on this one.
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Well…….if it’s for real…….I hope he doesn’t procreate.
RAmen
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Of course I´d take the damn presents. Not just from Christians, but also from muslims, buddhists, jews, russians, Marsians and even americans.
I do it because it is UNPOLITE to turn down a gift. … And because I am greedy. YAAARRRGGGh!!
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I vote real…but then I wonder if the author would or wouldn’t be a pussy if the author was ever forced to recite the pledge with FSM in place of God. I think the author of the letter would be the first on the front lines screaming bloody murder over that.
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I think I know this guy… wasn’t he one of the stupid characters in ‘Idiocracy’?
—
The problem is when dealing with someone who is this obviously stupid; there is no reasoning with them. Even if you lay out a compelling and precise argument, their capacity to comprehend and reason is simply not up to the task. For someone with such severely limited mental skills, it’s simple, it is easier to believe than think. I mean come on look at what and how he wrote.
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This person must be one of those failures in evolution that occur regularly.
.
Unfortunately, it will probably live long enough to breed because of all the laws we have that protect stupid people.
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This has to be fake. Anyone who claims to have a brain would have at least run a spell check.
.
And the tired old argument of “this is a Christian nation.” Even if this nation was founded by people who were Christians- it was not- that does not mean that this is a Christian nation. The constitution along with the peace treaty with the Pasha of Tripoli (and many, many other sources) clearly state this.
.
Why is there even a debate about that?!
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Quite frankly, it is national embarrassment to the United States that this level of ignorance/stupidty is so widespread amongst it population. The US was not founded on Christianity. I have an 4 year old niece who knows that. Secondly, the Christmas and Easter holidays are pagan festivals that were stolen by Christianity. What you have succeeded in though is demonstrating yet again how intelligence and religion are very seldom seen together. I can only hope that you are seven years old or younger.
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Remember, if people give have habitually given you Christmas presents, you’re a Christian.
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I wish I could assert that this level of overt idiocy was an attempt to provide fodder for the hate mail page and nothing more. Alas, I encounter oceans of people who would regard this poster as the height of coherence and rationality. Sadly, I say that this is probably real.
With the myriad of challenges facing humanity, I wish we didn’t have to fight illiteracy, illogic and irrationality on top of everything else. Sadly, unless you do believe in miracles or are willing to support a semi-benevolent dictatorship (vote for me!), it seems that the rapidly falling level of education will inundate us in hordes of lemming-like people who would rather cling to a fallacious belief system than participate in progressing the species away from mere domesticated primates to thinking, rational and logical homo sapiens. We have the label now, but as I look at many of my fellow primates, I can only conclude there isn’t a lot of ’sapien’ in a majority of the herd.
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Fake. But if I am wrong, let this person show his toughness by stating who he is and where he’s from.
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Who let George Bush on his computer??
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FAKE.
.
Or Christian.
^^^^^^^^
Cey, I fixed this for ya…
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I vote real and very very stupid.
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Bobby, I’m starting to think the majority of the hate mail posts are fake, and I imagine the original posters laughing their asses off when we (the members of a parody web site) fail to recognize the post as parody, and respond to it as though it was genuine. I’ve even suspected you of creating some of them, just to yank our strings a bit. I also wonder if we are seeing ALL of the hate mail, or just a selection of the juicier ones. A rational dialog with a poster willing to respond would be nice for a change, vs the ‘fuck u’ class and the usual group of standard responses.
…
On the other hand, the post does make a point. Just why IS Christmas an official holiday? Consulting that never-wrong oracle, Wikipedia, I read Christmas as “being declared a federal holiday on June 26, 1870 by then-U.S. President Ulysses S. Grant”. Other posters have pinned down the chronology of the appearance of “God” on coinage, currency, and the Pledge of Allegiance, so that date frames in nicely with those. Whatever. The fact remains that many non-Christians celebrate Xmas, and as the post says, it’s more about the presents (and the resulting Winter-time economic stimulation) than it is about worshiping Christ. So, why didn’t the Founding Fathers make it a holiday to start with, instead of making us wait a century? Hmmm….
…
Assuming the post is real, the poster should realize that the quarrel is not with SAYING the words “under God” (because I don’t), but with their presence there. I don’t want to see “under the FSM” there either. Nor do I wish to confuse The Pilgrims with The Founding Fathers, something many of the hate mail posters seem to have trouble with, there being an immense difference between the two.
…
I particularly like the “go somewhere else if u dont like it” phrase. We ARE somewhere else, the FSM website. You came to us, person with a brain, remember? And clearly, regarding a Xian nation, if “every one knows that it was”, then there would be no controversy regarding the Kansas School Board, and this website wouldn’t exist.
…
As for anything else: The Flying Spaghetti Monster said it, I believe it, and that settles it! …. RAmen.
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@ Laura, I get a lump in my throat to know there are young people as intelligent and well educated as you growing up in the U.S. It gives me pause that one day we’ll see a president that will stand up and say something like ‘Don’t judge me for my beliefs, for I believe in science’ or something of that nature.
Living in Australia it’s hard to not think of the States as some breeding ground for christendom, largely due to what we get shoved down our throat by the Oz media (don’t get me started). But you and this site give me hope that one day ‘we will overcome’, to borrow a phrase…
As for our latest hate mailer, he has probably forgotten to take his meds after his lobotomy… so he probably should have signed off with ‘person with a part of a brain, which isn’t functioning real well, as you can see by my atrocious spelling and logic’.
p.s We are currently being invaded by xtian pilgrims for the World Youth Day and their leader Pope Pontius the Pointy Hat has just arrived, could everyone please pray that the He makes an appearance and touches them with His noodly appendage.
RAmen
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I love the way this guy signs it-”a person with a brain”. It’s exactly like how the Republicans market things-George W. Bush is “a refermer with results”, the FISA act which trashes the 4th Amendment is “The Protect America Act”, and of course when Bushies pushed through oil and gas exploration in the national parks, it was entitled something “The Responsible Protection of Resources Act”.
It’s brilliant: War is Peace, Famine is Plenty, Hate is Love, and I forgot the 4th and final language degradation Orwell warned us about.
As for this person’s claims in the letter, we’ve already knocked every hole in it that could be, so why repeat ourselves. Some people are too stupid and blind to ever see the truth.
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is he actually offering us a christmas present?
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There is almost certainly a neuro-chemical basis for these people’s beliefs. Probably some in the visual or auditory cortex triggers a set of neutrons to fire which consitutes a profession of religious belief, and following it, some neurochemical is released by the brain, like oxcytocin or dopamine which makes to professor feel sooo goooood.
I think some brain institute ought to be looking into the etiology of this process with a view toward blocking one or more components of the process. I’m certain a specific molecule could be developed which would block just this process without interfering in any normal brain functions.
Once that’s found, children could be vaccinated against religous belief, perhaps as early a 1-2 years old.
In short we can cure the disease of religion, we just need to find the will and the resources.
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I wish it was fake…I really do.
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Fake or just incredibly stupid.
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wasn’t it “Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience” just a thought.
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Founded by Masons for everyone! And the terminology I believe is “holiday-giving article”
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“so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it” Where does he want us to go???
Must i feel offended too? Because i am from Europe so …
And yes i am a true believer of the great FSM and i give my kids presents with christmass. It has nothing to do with christianity after all so why shouldn’t we? Its just a tree with presents and loads of food and beer where i live.
p.s.: I vote for an International Flying Spaghetti Day on every 1st of january, who’s in for it?
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It just occurred to me that we might be able to split the difference on this ‘Christmas’ thing. Why not rename it ‘Intelligent Design-mas’ day and call it even?
…
As for anything else: The Flying Spaghetti Monster said it, I believe it, and that settles it! …. RAmen.
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FAKE! Pastafarians, don’t fall for this kind of bait and respond with a knee jerk. No one could be stupid enough to write such a shitty note, not even an Evangelical Christian.
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Home schooled?
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Did you notice the lack of letters in the typing?
I’m wondering if this is actually an entity coming from an imperfect parallel universe; poor guy/gal/thing, he/she/it is trapped in a Universe he/she/it can’t understand.
Praise the FSM.
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Ur a FOOL! you take such offence to being bummed out by this fact of FSMism thats how we feel towards ur theory of god angry that its shuld b taught in schools!!! so shove it up ur ASS!
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I think it’s real. When these folks can hide behind the comfortable anonymity of the internet, their inner Satan is revealed every time without fail. Ever notice how much profanity they need to communicate? Maybe when they engage in glossolalia they’re really swearing at us pastafarians! :0
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Man… now we’re the pussy’s who get offended easily? Get your fucking facts straight, you’re the one sending a hate mail.
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The United States was founded on the belief that religion was to be seperate from politics – it was therefore not a Christian nation. Also Christmas and Easter are based on the winter soltice and spring equinox which were celebrated by pegans before being stolen by Christians and adapted to Christianity.
Read a book, (other than the Bible).
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“Once that’s found, children could be vaccinated against religous belief, perhaps as early a 1-2 years old. In short we can cure the disease of religion, we just need to find the will and the resources.”
A vaccine against Christianity!! What a splendid idea!!!
We have to put our heads together and see what we can do on this…. just might save the World from armageddon….etc…
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Won’t even try to argue as it might strain his brain. This guy deserves ID classes.
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Unfortunately, far too many people really are this stupid. I vote real. I spent way too many years interacting with people whose entire worldview was defined by their religious preconceptions – read “prejudice” – and who had no interest in deriving conclusions about anything from observations of reality. Sometimes it can be terrifying to watch. The scariest thing about this post for me is that this person really thinks he/she is intelligent.
@Laura: If I was 30 or 40 years younger, I’d probably be trying to think of ways to get your incredibly lucky boyfriend out of the picture. It gives me hope that the human race may yet somehow survive to know that there is at least one young person out there who can think for herself. Let me know when you run for national office so I can vote for you.
RAmen
ET
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What’s scary is, the guy spells half of his words in netspeak or textspeak, perhaps he needs to go back to grade school.
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Definitly fake…I hope.
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I must admit, I am not a Pastafarian, but I felt inclined to share my opinions here, although you probably won’t be interested.
Why is it that these religious people have never heard of grammar? If you are defending your religion, it’s important to express yourself clearly, wouldn’t you agree? So everyone can understand exactly what you are saying? Perhaps it’s just me, but I tend to disregard automatically those who have never heard of the common comma.
And you Pastafarians, you’re sounding a bit too serious for my liking. I’m sure The Great Spaghetti Monster would like you to be kind and understanding towards those who have not yet seen the light.
Besides, you’ve all got it totally wrong. Oscar Wilde is the true creator of the multiverse, and we must all go out and buy copies of The Picture of Dorian Gray if we are to be allowed entrance to heaven after the chipmunks destroy the world.
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Which part did you think was fake — the post or the tag?
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Sounds like someone from McCain’s voting base.
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Wow, assuming this IS real, I’m sorry to say that I do live in the United States. Well that being said, I can assure you non-Americans here that this really is a problem. The majority of people in this country are complete idiots that have no sense of logic/reason, cannot think for themselves, and blindly trust their churches and government. Hopefully one day I, or anyone else that actually knows how to use their mind for something other than drinking beer (not that there’s anything wrong with that!), will have the chance to change that.
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Sad to say but I think it’s real. I’ve met too many of these types and they all seem to have a common thread running through their collective consciousness. Truly pathetic in their blind devotion. I even had one tell me that if Jesus was alive today he’d drive a Cadillac because the son of God would never be seen in a small car. What? I was speechless. As for the Christmas reverence, lots of non Christians get together with teir families and swap gifts at that time of year. Why not, it’s fun. My family is quite large now what with cousins and grandchildren. We eat and drink too much and have a great time. That’s what it’s all about. Not some silly story that probably didn’t happen. This year I’m going to bring a big batch of sauce and noodles! Oh yeah, can’t forget the wine and beer!
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Fake. A real Xtian, but a fake letter.
“Under God” was added to the pledge of allegiance in 1952 so that it would be easy to find the Commies. They’d be the ones skipping that part. If it wasn’t for that we’d have never caught all those low lives and won the Cold War. Think how much sooner we would have won if congress had made it “Under his pastaness the FSM”.
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I don’t get my pirate panties in a twist unless this kind of person has the nerve to get in my face. I’m sure there is a very real, very de-educated, angry young christian somewhere who penned this. Even if not, we all know they’re out there.
That said, before I grew up and mustered the courage to think for myself, and make choices based on research (not fear), I could have been very like minded to this person. Though in my day school was a safe place where we actually learned about all kinds of things. Except other faiths and cultures. It’s not his or her fault that their education system is crap and their future scary. I’d be angry too. Let’s hope this person uses the internet to educate themselves, as our society has sorely failed them. Belittling them will not push them toward a more loving world view.
I’ve been ostracized by my family for having the nerve to learn about the world, and culture, and embracing the all of it for what it is. But I’m alright, person with a brain, I don’t really want conditional love in my life.
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From my knowledge – the nation was founded by Puritans. Which are… Not Chistrians, they’re related to Christians however so you’re rather close I suppose.
I’m an athiest myself, but I actually don’t care for the word god in the pledge of allegiance. So, I’m also a little irritated over how touchy people get being a patriot, what our forefathers have made official to our country is something I believe should stick around. I am however fond of the idea presented by Robin Williams; “one nation under Canada, above Mexico.”
- Here
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Yeah, it would be nice if the hate-mailers (if they’re real) would stick around to discuss. Otherwise we’re just posting our counterarguments for no apparent reason…
@Neal-
Your God vaccine is an interesting idea. And possibly a premise for a sci-fi book…
“Doctor, Timmy’s been blathering about omnipotent beings again.”
“Timmy, let me see your arm for a moment.”
“Why… ouch!”
Perhaps the FSM’s noodly appendage is the delivery system!
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Well, since a fundamental requirement of any belief system is that be based on something so unlikely that is can be regarded for all intents and purposes as impossible and wrong (if there is any remote possibility of it describing reality, it is not part of a belief system, but a knowledge system, I can expand on that if anyone is interested) people who believe can only hold onto their beliefs against the advancing tide of knowledge by blocking out evidence.
They decry all other belief systems because they are perfectly able to apply the same intellectual examination to those beliefs as we do to all beliefs, and they can clearly see the falacies in them. The permanent state of cognitive dissonance in which they live makes them bigoted and dogmatic, because that is the only way they can continue to believe selectively as they do.
They probably start out as rigid and rather anal thinkers, who have been conditioned by their very narrow environments to believe certain things and they develop the ability to be selective with their intellectual abilities in order to manage this state of cognitive dissonance.
The reason it is more prevalent in US than other developed countries is probably because there are more communities in US that are really self-contained and receive little in the way of cultural cross-flow. When everyone around you says the same thing and it is repeated frequently, it achieves a level of certainty very easily and despite any obvious improbability. It is really just another form of Groupthink. I lecture in UK to groups of visiting provincial US students and we are amazed at what they and often their lecturers, simply don’t know that would be regarded as common knowledge in much of the world.
That situation existed in places like Saudi Arabia until Desert Storm and the huge problem with Islamic reaction comes from the awful culture shock that many of those people suffered at the time and which has spread across the region. The further west you go across North Africa, where there are long-established trading links into Europe, the less fundamental you find the Moslems, but turn south into isolated areas like northern Nigeria and you find Sharia law and extreme views.
60%-70% or so of people are never going to think outside their community, but will make pogress as their community develops. The leap into atheism has always been for the higher and most cosmopolitan IQ groups, so I’d say just be a bit thankful about being in that minority.
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You slaves no not my power and any who will do what you humans call “hate mail” to my great prophet, Bobby Henderson will be cursed and will never be touched by my noodely appendages and will never be translated to “heaven”, if that is what you humans call it. I and very happy that humans are finally realizing my noodelyness and my church is flourishing.
~Flying Spaghetti Monster~
~FSM~
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This idiot Is ALMOST corect, If you discount the millions of native americans, who got here THOUSANDS of years earlier, the firs WESTERN presence in Americaa was NOT the pilgrims, But Christopher Columbus, who landed in Puerto Rico, in the 1490s on his second voyagee which was founded as a CATHOLIC and not a Christian country. The king even replaced the govenor with official church rule at one point, by dispathching 3 priests who were officers of the Holy Inquisition to sort things out.(No-one expects the spanish inquisition) They executed the old Govenor by tourture for his misdeeds, but protestants, Jews & other NON- catholics often had to flee Spains possessions in the new world to the pirate havenns of Trinidad, Jamaica port Royal etc, in order to avoid torture & execution for heresy by the holy inquisition…….. The irony is that If he was a protestaant, Which most bible thumpers these days seem to be, he proboably would have been executed for heresy by the Spanish inquisition back in those early days of religious rule in america……
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Its a pity those with brans chooose to become organ donors, and have them removed BEFORE posting bible thumping messages…….
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Hello, dear fellow person with a brain. I am glad that you have one, too – you have now completed step one. Step two is putting this brain to work. I would recommend starting with reading books written for children. Advanced brain excercises, like coming to conclusions after thinking, comes later.
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@jeremykeys
“I even had one tell me that if Jesus was alive today he’d drive a Cadillac because the son of God would never be seen in a small car.”
How is it that your head didn’t explode? My head nearly exploded just reading about it, and I was holding the text up to a mirror to divert some of the force.
Seriously, though, I have seen someone, right there in front of me, actively decide to ignore reality because it conflicted with her religious (xian, of course) faith. My head actually exploded. I’ve had a mind-boggling headache ever since.
ET (he of the boggled mind)
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Damn right I want my Christmas presents…silly Christians with your your gift-giving holidays.
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Idiot to English Translation:
Holy shit! Quit being such pussies! Damn! Who honestly gets offended because they have to say god in the pledge of allegiance, and that Christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday. Who the fuck are we kidding. You will still accept a CHRISTMAS PRESENT, so all of you are fake if you’re not a Christian. So quit being assholes and go somewhere else if you don’t like it. Whoever says that this nation wasn’t founded by Christians is dumb because everyone knows that it was.
-a person with a brain (and spell check).
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Maybe you should read a little more about the “founding fathers” of this country, George Washington actually said “This country is by no means founded on christian beliefs” and your almighty Christmas was actually stolen from Pagan celebrations. You christians just refuse to read any other books. Don’t you ever wonder why you give gifts or put a tree in your house?? WTF does a tree have to do with a baby being born?? It was the Pagans way of celebrating the winter solstice the christians just stole the practice like they did with Easter and everything else
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What about an atheist. How would you respond to having to stand up and every day say “we as a nation deny the existence of God.”
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Holy shit, learn how to use your god-given spell check, dude, you’ve burned my retinas with your crappy spelling and random acts of typos!
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Dear “a person with a brain”,
Please don’t reproduce. Ever.
Thanks.
Sincerely,
The World
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To the FAKE FSM (AKA, HisNoodeliness),
.
When you wrote, “You slaves no not my power and any who will do what you humans call “hate mail” to my great prophet, Bobby Henderson will be cursed and will never be touched by my noodely appendages and will never be translated to “heaven”, if that is what you humans call it. I and very happy that humans are finally realizing my noodelyness and my church is flourishing.
~Flying Spaghetti Monster~”
.
BE GONE YE SCURVY FRAUD! I rebuke you as an impostor. Our Lord, the Flying Spaghetti Monster could never have written what you posted. Evidently, you have not read The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or you would have known about number seven of the Eight I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts, which reads: “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t go around telling people I talk to you. You’re not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can’t you take a hint?”
.
RAmen
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that hurt my brain.
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Actually I’m offended that we have to say a pledge of allegiance at all.
Even with the misspelling of “still” I’m guessing its real.
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Hmm, I don’t recite the Pledge of Allegiance. When I was younger it was because I was Christian and took to heart Yeshua’s admonitions about “vain repetitions”. Now that I am older I simply feel I owe no allegiance to a piece of fabric. Write a pledge to the Constitution and I’ll say that at least once an hour every day. As for Xmas, I haven’t gotten or received a gift specifically of the incorrectly dated natal day of the mythical Christian godchild. I will occasionally exchange Long Night Gifts. What my family does is get ourselves a big family gift, like a Wii or a night on the town, around the sixth of January. After the holiday shopping frenzy is over. We chose that day because we can often suck in Christians who will get us more gifts because it’s sort of their holiday as well. :D
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I just played a fun game! Find a period by its self in that message. I really hurt my eyes.
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I am a Christian Pastor. This guy’s nonsense is embarrassing. Sorry.
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I’d suspect that this “person with a brain” has spent too much time cuddled up to the beer volacano. I some times get incoherant like this when I’m getting close to the spins or when I’m not sleeping well. It’s just I have the brains not to post on line when I’m in that condition.
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Sounds like the ramblings of Napoleon Dynamite. Just has to close with “Gosshhhh!!”
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Actually, I don’t except Christmas presents. Accept them with grace.
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Most of the founding fathers were deists, and they most certainly were not christians. In fact, the constitution was written as part of the Enlightenment period of history, in which people were trying to break away from religion because of all the harm it had caused for the past several hundred years in Europe.
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brand new to the site, i found it while looking for a darwin fish. read the letter to the kansas school board, and truly laughed til i cried. so, i came back this evening to check it out some more, and started reading the posts/replies. anyway, great stuff, keep up the good work!
as for the addition of ‘under god’ to the pledge, i think it was also inserted to show that the US was a ‘good, christian’ nation as we were fighting the cold war vs the ‘evil, atheist’ ussr, so that set us apart. wonderful…
as for the ‘this nation was founded on christian beliefs’ line, i laugh every time i see that. i’ve read a lot of american history. i think others need to as well.
also, regarding holidays and observances…christianity has existed as long as it has, and has been so successful for so long because it’s taken bits of other religions such as paganism and incorporated it into christianity. winter solstice celebrations folded into christmas (the tree comes from the germanic areas, and pagans worshipped the ‘birth’ of the sun in december, which became the birth of the ’son’)-easter is named for the goddess of spring time, with eggs and bunnies still being in use today-they represented fertility for pagans. halloween became all souls day in the christian calendar….it goes on and on.
anyway, so glad i found this place, it’s great! i have apparently been touched by that noodly appendage. RAmen!
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“holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian.”
I may be wrong, but this may or may not be a run-on sentence, sorry it just bothered me.
That being said I have a question. Who said that they were offended about all of that stuff? And would you rather us rename Christmas to the holiday it actually was thousands of years ago when founded by the druids and the Romans called the Saturnelia?
So my question to you is would you accept a Saturnelia present from me? Or would you hang some popcorn and lights and hang ornaments with me on my Saturnelia tree?
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Srsly – who cares what a closed minded person says? A mouth with no ears is an useless organ.
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Hello Person with a Brain!
I would like to ask where you left this so-called “brain” of yours. You obviously forgot to take it to English class with you.
The correct spelling of “pussys” is “p-u-s-s-I-E-s.”
The definition of “except,” according to the Oxford English Dictionary is:
preposition
not including; other than : naked except for my socks | they work every day except Sunday.
I believe you meant to say “accept”
verb [ trans. ]
1 consent to receive (a thing offered) : he accepted a pen as a present.
I also suggest you go to Barns & Noble and purchase a 2nd grade grammar book, as you obviously have no concept of periods, commas, apostrophes, or the proper use of capital letters.
Or does your god just prohibit the use of grammar?
-Jeebuz
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“a person with a brain” should try to use spell check because last time i checked, in this country anyway, “affended” wasn’t a word. if said “person with a brain” does not like the english language he/she can “go somewhere else” if he/she doesn’t like it.
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I don’t know this holiday Christmas…although he may be speaking of Christ-my-ass day…idk…
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doesn’t this idiot remind you of Pat Robertson? the lack of intelligence, the insistence that America was built on Christian foundations, etc. christmas has lost all religious meaning so to a “person with a brain” (and a nice display with that type of 3rd grade level grammar) , that point is void. and when the fuck did accepting presents become a religious activity?
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holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
-a person with a brain
A person with a brain needs to learn how to use it. “Affended” isn’t even a word. “Christmas” is an overcomercial and made up, held at the same time as a pagan sun holiday, I don’t think not believing in a zombie un-entitles me to a present – I DEMAND AN E-Z BAKE OVEN! And last time I checked this is the church of FSM, so quit being such an asshole and go somewhere else if you don’t like it. -RAmen
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holy shit – You’re blast-fah-mee-ing your own god
quit being such pussys damn – Pussy – noun, the thing that all humans came out of, (exept the ones of course that FSM directly made) pussy, sounds like a porthole from god, :D. (and on a serious note, athism – noun (lol) – The triumph of logic over fear of an invisible parental figure whom has split personalitys and could use anger manegement.)
god in the pledge of allegince – It’s filling our fragile children’s heads with confusion (I mean look at YOU) and evil lies that will eventually cost them a sripper factory and a beer volcano, :(
national CHRISTIAN holiday – national COMERCIAL holiday, and yes I still exepect my Fur-Real friend, AND I WANT IT NOW FSM DAMMIT!
quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it – Uhhh, this is OUR church, it’s not like pastafarians go into those Christian pointy buildings and insult YOUR religion. *glares*
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Hey. person with a brain:
My dog needs a brain transplant, and since you’re not using yours…. Of course people might notice Fido’s sudden inability to spell. BTW, if you lived in a society dominated by a shrill minority who were members of a non-Christian religion, would you ’stop being a pussy’ and let them force their beliefs on you? I’m betting no.
May the blessings of His Noodly appendage grant you peace (and a spellchecker)
eepp
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I am an American so I call Xmas “Capitalist Day”. I sit by a toasty fire and read Atlas Shrugged. Have a “Merry Capitalist Day Bitches”..
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Fail
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“holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince”
(WRONG -god was NEVER mentioned in the original pledge of allegiance. the word was added in the 1950’s to fuel the anti-communism fire and further separate us from the communists.)
“and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday”
(WRONG again – christmas was originally a pagan holiday – NOT christian)
“and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian.”
(when you make a list to ask Santa and the baby jesus for presents this year, ask them for “Spellcheck”"
“so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was”
(WRONG yet again – this country was founded primarily by deists and atheists who KNEW the dangers of combining religion and politics and specifically arranged our constitution to separate the two. Read a book, jerkoff.)
“-a person with a brain”
(WRONG, wrong, wrong – you don’t have a brain)
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I am an American, I have a brain, and I know that the USA was founded on Chrostianity. Come on guys wake up!
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Methinks this person with a brain must know what he’s talking about, otherwise he wouldn’t dare exposing his eloquence. I don’t know what he’s trying to say, so I must be lacking in brain.
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“This nation”?
-
Erm, I assume that you are referring to the USA, do they not teach geography in xtian schools? Namely that there are OTHER countries apart from the US! Honestly! I’m NOT making it up!
-
Rule Britannia, doo d-doo d-doo etc… ;)
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Gosh, don’t you hate people who don’t sign their full name? Now we will never know who this was.
Was it…
A person with a brain… for sale, one owner, little use?
A person with a brain… needed, apply here?
A person with a brain… made of chocolate? (and quite possible sat near a fire?)
A person with a brain… would be such a nice thing to be?
A person with a brain… that slipped through quality control?
Ahhh, no… I know… *realisation dawns as nicci looks (with a shudder) once more at the atrocious misuse of language, especially the absent letters.* You mean…
A person withOUT a brain… bet you spell can’t “c a n” don’t you?
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Please…correct me if I am wrong, but I really don’t think that the Christmas” that is celebrated by most Americans is religous. Its more about caring about loved ones. Besides, even if it is meant to be religous (and that has been lost due to Santa Claus bs…) it isn’t Christian. If one uses logic, they can determine that this Christ character was not born in Winter. It is a Pagan holiday.
So, for that I say-Put the “Sol” back in “Solstice”-so says the boy born on December 21…
Feel free to quote me on that last part…
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This comment makes me want to punch a baby. However I will try to hold my self back from doing so.
After all punching babies is a terrible thing to do. You know what’s worse then that though? Crucifying and burning people who don’t have the same beliefs as you. Look it up you intolerant dogmatic bastared.
And have a nice day :D
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Kris, may the God of your choice bless you on this day. I have known plenty of decent Christians, thank you for being among them. All we ask is to keep science out of theology classes. Wait, I meant…well, never mind. In respect of your decent post, I will forgo my usual signature.
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For someone who claims to have a brain, there are an awful amount of grammatical errors don’t you think?
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Why do such stupid people post here like that? Can’t even be bothered with correct grammar and spelling, so I can’t be bothered to read what they write. It really does my head in how stupid some people can be!
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That message had a lot of ignorance but is rather lacking on the typical christian hate. Come on, a person with a brain, you can put a little more hate into your letters. You know you have it in you. You’re a christian after all.
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That was just what I was gonna say, Dean, and to the “brainy” person: I think you’re fake because you are not a Pastafarian.
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What would happen, theologically speaking, if someone gave this fellow pasta for christmas?!?
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i am a tattoo artist who is doing a fsm on a client. i just want to say that everyone has the right to suck my meatballs… this is almost an interesting subject… almost…
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Sorry Pastafarians. That letter is clearly a fake. A spoof. Probably a spoof by a christian though. In any event it is not a very good one. By the way a right wing extremist christian grandmotherjust won the Australian version of Big Brother. FSM certainly does work in mysterious ways.
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Go somewhere else? Hey, this is our site. You go somewhere else.
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Why do they always assume we give out “Christmas Gifts”? I know some people who give out “Solstice Gifts”, some who give “Gifts”, some who give “No Gifts” and my personal favorite: “Yay! We survived another year! Let’s party! Gifts”.
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I like cheese…
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ooo… someone feels threatened!
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Christmas, presents, trees and especially Santa Clause, has nothing to do with Christianity, because Christianity is like a snowball, merging with every other religion, with it’s myths and traditions, it encounters. OUr easter tradition with the easter bunny and eggs, the virgin birth, Jesus being born in Betlehem in year zero (he was actually born in Nazaret, 4 year 4 b.c), the three wise men, the communion, just to mention some, all come from different religions.
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I’m not any religion, Pastafarian or otherwise, but I know that it’s wrong and insensitive to dump on someone else’s religion. As far as I’m concerned, Catholicism can suck my balls, but I don’t tell Catholics that their religion sucks and it’s fake and blah blah blah. You’re just a fuckwit who feels that you have to stick your nose where it might get chopped off.
I agree with the following people: Lady Lippy, Darwin’sMonkey and Val. And WIIman has a good point. Fuck off, religion chav before the flying spaghetti monster eats YOU in a toasted sandwich!
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FACT: Christmas was not declared a national holiday until 90 years after US declared Independence. Nice try, “a person with a brain”.
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Yep. I’m a pussy. I also like pussy. I fornicate. A lot. Christians hate this as much as they hate everyone that doesn’t bow to them, cower before their mythic might, and rationally believe that Christ is NOT a zombie.
Yes, honey. Jesus is a zombie. He was dead for three days. Rose on the third day (I bet he smelled really good…) to show all humanity that he was God’s son and that he died for our sins. I don’t need someone to die for me…
Except maybe you.
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1. someone with a brain can spell.
2. Someone with a brain should know that Christmas is so commercialized it really isn’t religious anyway.
3. If we are all pussies there wouldn’t be any comments on this post.
YKWFSMWD.
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dear person with a brain-
how could you be so ungratetfull the creator of all things important and kinda important? Without Him, we would have no christmas trees, or presents, or fruitcake, and not even the jolly boots of lord santa. perhaps it is time to look inward, person with a brain. When christmas rolls around again, do not expect that pair roller skates youve been asking senior’ clause for…
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Halloween is an anti-christian, satanic holiday, but yet I’ve never met a christian who wouldn’t accept halloween candy. And no, this nation (as in the US) was not found on christianity. Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, and many other of our founding fathers were not christians. It was founded on religious freedom, and you don’t sound like you have much of a brain to speak of when you spell every other word incorrectly. Peace…
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How would you like it if you had to say “under the FSM”? i bet you would think it was stupid, just like how i think saying “under god” is stupid.
RAmen
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Austin have you heard of the Jefferson Bible? Look it up and then comeback and tell me the founding fathers where christian. It’s called Deist. You might also look that up too and realize you need to stop talking out your ass.
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Right this person has obviously met my cat, instead he would know to “FEAR THE PUSSY” the way she dispatched the most annoying dog in the area was extremely efficient and well fatal for the dog at least it was over quickly and the did find the head three weeks later. Still for a person with a brain there was quite a bit of spelling mistakes. Still I am pretty sure that the founders of the American state made sure that church & state were kept apart for a very good reason.
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How long has Christmas been a Christian holiday? Most people celebrate it Christmas or not and nobody thinks of Jesus all anyone wants if the damn gift. Face it without the gifts and all the money that can be made Christmas would not exist.
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I’m atheist I don’t take Christmas presents or celebrate Christmas. I don’t even take off work but I don’t complain when I have too because we are closed. I don’t get offended by one nation under God I just don’t think people shouldn’t have to say it in schools where we are trying to create an environment where people of all beliefs can learn and leave their faith at home. I didn’t believe in god so I refused to say the pledge and many other things that had to do with god in a public school and would get in trouble for it. Its not a matter of offending its the fact that I don’t want to say it as many here I’m sure feel the same way. You believe in it you say it don’t force kids and other people to that don’t.
Ramses: FYI Halloween is a Christian holiday. It was stolen from the Celtics and it used to be called Samhain
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samhain
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween
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For that matter, shouldn’t Christians also not accept presents on Christmas. Any questions, watch “What Would Jesus Buy” from Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping.
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As for Christmas…
In August, 1998, Richard Ganulin filed suit in U.S. District Court claiming that “Christmas is a religious holiday, and the Congress of the United States is not constitutionally permitted to endorse or aid any religion, purposefully or otherwise, or entanglement between our government and religious beliefs.”
The court ruled that Christmas had become a secular as well as religious holiday, and implied that ideas such as Santa and Christmas trees had nothing to do with Christianity directly. Therefore, the ruling was to dismiss the case on grounds that Christmas was not a Christian holiday, but a secular holiday celebrated by some as religious.
Anyways…
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“quit being assholes and go somewhere else ”
g-go somewhere else? you would say that to another religion? go somewhere else?! I’m sorry mr person with a brain, but we’ve been here for ages and you didn’t seem to mind. It was only after you fingers randomly decided to punch in ‘flying spaghetti’ into google that you cared. We are not doing anything worng. I’m sorry if now you’re threatened by pastafarianism.
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No; this country was founded be Deists.
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I know it’s a little cliche to attack the spelling of someone you disagree with online, but the irony here is too great. *uncontrollable snickering*
I still celebrate christmas. It’s obviously a way for us believers in the Noodly Father to get vacations and free shit from the our friend and family! Although, I don’t “except” christmas presents. I Accept them.
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I consider myself a patriotic Pastafarian. When I recite the pledge of allegiance I insert “UNDER A CONSTITUTION” in place of “UNDER GOD.” I could insert “UNDER FSM,” but that would detract from the seriousness of the pledge. What a happier nation this would be if both the ACLU and the Evangelicals would get lost.
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Actaully Christmas is a pagan holiday. Ask a Christian or do a google search. And I don’t think you would like it if the govt made you swear an oath of allegiance to Odin and Thor. You don’t mind it now because you “have” to do something you already do willingly.
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I do have a strong disagreement with your name. Judging by your quality of spelling and grammar, you should be called “someone with one third of a brain or less”. Anyway, I am (notice the correct spelling here) offended by the inclusion of god in the Pledge, enough that I don’t say it anymore. Though, I might start saying it again if the words were changed to
“One Nation,
Under Pasta,
with Liberty,
and Justice,
For All.
Including Pirates.”
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Not only do I, um, except a christmas present, I will accept ANY present! For religion is no barrier between me and paper wrapped goods!
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Christmas is a Pagen holiday..so much for your brain,dude.
and “go somewhere else?” um,you are on the CURCH OF THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER site..must I say anything else?
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I thought it would be fun to try and make a fake hate mail, but I can’t compete with the people who write these (whether or not their messages are sincere). Well done!
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Improve yer spelling, matey with a brain.
And involuntary pledges be cert’nly t’be whined about, land lubber. Arr.
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and actually… this country was formed by secularists, jackass. Now hand over the veggie booty, arr!!
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I no longer even stand up for the pledge at school anymore. I remain seated and laugh quietly to myself at all the people with out brains, and are not able to think for themselves. Such as you.
This country was in ablsolutly in no way shape or form, founded by christans. most all of the founding fathers were theists who belived in a supreme being, but nothing else.
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About the pledge: At my school we Have to stand up, but we don’t have to say it if we don’t want to, and you wanna know what I do? Absolutely nothing, I have freedom of my body and rights and I don’t give a fuck with they suspend me for not getting up!
About Christians: I don’t like the religion because well, most Christians are hypocrites (such as yourself), and most Christians are idiots (possibly so for you).
So leave our religion alone and go back to your mindless church meetings and just them a Twinkie wrapper or something, also, about Christmas and what-not, thanks for the good laugh!
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It is quite refreshing to see so many people see through the fallacy of organized religion (with the notably intelligent exception of Pastafarianism).
May his noodlie appendages be upon you, may they comfort you and give you peace…
RAmen
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I wish I could refuse to stand for the national anthem, but in Canada they suspend you for it.
Now, as for this eloquent message…
“holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
-a person with a brain”
Sounds incredibly fake. The part which made me laugh most was the very last one, where he listed his name as, “-a person with a brain”. Who is he kidding?
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Are you kidding? Christmas is a mostly pagan holiday. The Christmas tree, the Yule log, wreaths, ornaments, holly… all pagan traditions. Take a look here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas. Sorry, but Christians are the one’s faking this, and have been for far too many years. If YOU want to believe in a book written 2000 years ago by corruptible men (we all know that Constantine had political motives when he and his group chose which books to include, and which to exclude, from the Bible, which is also humorous in its own right; if the books were divinely influenced, why were the ones that were tossed, tossed, and how did that group decide which ones), then that’s fine by me, but with the logic necessary to “just accept this”, you could just as easily accept the Quran, or the Torrah, or yes, the FSM.
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Hi, my name is gerard and before i had fsm in my life i had no hope, now i am a pastafarian i have money, girls, nice cars and i love being alive, thank you pasta monster god guy! I love you! xx
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I must confess, I am very curious about something. I am not sure whether to direct this critique towards the authors of the hate mail or to those who post it, but is all the hate mail so ripe with misspelling and bad grammar, or are those pieces selected to highlight the irrational stupidity of the authors [of the hate mail] and the views they represent? It is interesting that although the authors of the hate mail are vehemently defending Christianity, few take the time to capitalize the very word. Furthermore, are these people just looking to vent, or are they really so irrational and blinded by faith that they sincerely believe that the hosts of this site actually believe in the gospel of the FSM?! Its a parody! A satire! A joke! What’s more, it is in no way meant to be, as I read it, an attack on Christianity, but rather an attack on Christianity being taught in public schools which is precisely what teaching ID is. There are hundreds of non-Christian religions in this country and, despite some misguided souls’ claim to the contrary, there is NO OFFICIAL RELIGION in the United States. To make a law requiring the instruction of ID is to literally, “..make a law respecting an establishment of religion.” By the way that quote is from the First Amendment of The Constitution of The United States. The entire purpose of this allegory is to illuminate the absurdity of teaching a theory in our PUBLIC schools that is not based on any fact. Church and Family are meant to teach children what to believe. School is meant to teach children to think. Ultimately, they will be able to think for themselves and decide if they CHOOSE to believe in religion based strictly on FAITH. Faith requires no proof. In fact, proof counters the entire purpose behind faith. Moreover, an informed choice by a rational mind to maintain a belief in spite of lack of proof shows far greater faith than to believe simply because Mommy, Daddy, and Pastor Dan told me so. Besides, if ID were taught in schools, there would most likely even be further complaints that it wasn’t taught the RIGHT way or that certain nuances were completely inaccurate or offensive. I mean there are like four dozen different sects of Christianity. Are you telling me that there is a unified creation story? Bullshit! Many Christians won’t even acknowledge Catholicism or LDS to be Christian! How are they going to agree on which version of ID to teach? Teach religion in the home, science in the school, and I promise you your kids will turn out alright.
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I think the part I loved the most was the, “so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…” I epic fail at seeing the logic in this statement. Are you suggesting that this website is being forces upon you? Did they install trojans on your computer that allow to access no website but http://www.venganza.org?! Personally, I think it’s your religious intolerance here that is causing a conflict. Perhaps if you were to do are you “Holy Bible” suggests and merely turn the other cheek the world would be a better place. And meanwhile I will happyily sit here praises His mighty, majestic noodles. I will open my innermost soul and allow his noodles to gently carress me in or intimate embrace.
RAmen.
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I write things like this all the time. None of them serious but just for fun. I am pretty sure it is a fake Some people give the Greatest Webpage In The Universe loads (alledgedly) in the hopes of getting on the hate mail section for a chuckle. I would guess that it is just someone having some fun. You could google the email address to see where it leads you. Depending on the activity of the hate-mailer’s address you can guess what their agenda actually is most of the time.
@Just Have Faith:
“Its a parody! A satire! A joke!”
Most people do not seem to understand satire from my experience. School, college, home, the corner shop, they just don’t understand satire. Try declaring yourself a Pastafarian or a SubGenius or a Discordian or even a Jedi. People actually believe the crap you tell them. If it is satire they often call it ‘tasteless’ or ‘not funny’ or (if you can make it like an ED article) ‘terrorism’. These people just haven’t yet developed an adaptable sense of humour that extends beyond the confines of Friends (the television show). Give them time or make jokes that they are too stupid to understand, like Bobby Henderson and Malaclypse the Younger [sic] have.
@Mr Henderson
Is it can we has moar haet male pls?
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To Be Honest:
A person with a brain larger than the “prophet’s” (I neither agree or disagree with his title, just allow others to decide for themselves) would be able to 1) spell, 2) talk (type) correctly. For instance ‘honstly’ is honestly, ‘allegince’ is allegance, etc etc, come on, you could at least spell ‘are’ correctly! Stop insulting the “prophet’s” intelligence and worry about your own.
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Dude, your such a retard. Christians didn’t start this nation. Puritans did. All hail the FSM!!
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“Furthermore, are these people just looking to vent, or are they really so irrational and blinded by faith that they sincerely believe that the hosts of this site actually believe in the gospel of the FSM?! Its a parody! A satire! A joke”
Oh you are so going to run out of pasta for that one. How dare you attack the one true religion? Just becase YOU are forced to eat rice balls day in and day out, don’t blame Pirates for your condition.
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Er…
@Cade. It’s a bad idea to call someone a ‘retard’ and then say something very ignorant and wrong.
First off, ALL Puritans were Christians, and assuming that your nation is the USA, then it was founded by a mixture of the many Christian denominations that were around at the time, including some denominations that could be described as Puritans.
P.S. Please try and keep up, try researching and thinking critically about your opinions, eventually someone is going to parody/satirise your belief in the nation state – then you will be confused.
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@Mongoose
nice one lol
@Joe Blow
This merely confirms the fact that you believe in tentcular scaryness and you are being a little rasict in saying that rice balls are retarded
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almost all of the people writing the hate mail seem to not know what a satire is. its pretty ridiculous. i wonder what these people re doing when they were taught about satires.
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I love the way this is signed
‘-a person with a brain’ (sic)
What, I believe, this person with a brain hasn’t yet realised is that it is not enough just to ‘have a brain’ you also need to have it switched on and allow it to be filled with as much and as varied information as it can possibly handle. Then, and only then, can you truly be said to have freedom of choice. Ignorance is the antithisis of freedom of choice and makes a poor bedfellow for rational debate, as shown by this amusingly incoherent and poorly spelt diatribe.
——————————-
PASTA – You know it makes lunch
FSM says “Use a spelling checker please guys”
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Christmas is one of ten government-sanctioned holidays. Which means that it is secular.
Sorry if someone said this already.
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to “Just Have Faith”: RAMEN! RAMEN, OH SWEET RAMEN!
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Im totally sure that you actually have a brain because everyone with brains spell still with one l. Before insulting the mental ability of someone else at least SPELL your comment thing right. Because that only makes you looks like a bigger jackass.
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i like your christ. i do not like your christians. you christians are so unlike your christ.
-mahatma ghandi
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When I was in high school(graduated just this year), I found a simple way to still pledge my allegiance to the country I love while not having to acknowlege a God I don’t worship. It’s quite simple and makes sense. Just replace “under God” with “under the people”. It makes sense as this country(USA) was founded with the concept that the average person could make a difference in the way the nation was going.
Just a suggestion…
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‘holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
-a person with a brain’
—
Because sometimes somebody just has to be anal retentive, here’s a possible translation into English:
‘Blessed poo, stop being such cats. Damnation, who honestly gets offended because they must say ‘God’ in the Pledge of Alliegance and that Christmas is a Christian holiday? And who the sex are we kidding, as you will still accept a Christmas present? So stop being such anuses, and go elsewhere if you don’t like it… And whatever you say to the effect that this nation [America?] wasn’t founded by Christians is foolish, because everyone knows that it was.’
Nope, still makes very little sense. Especially the part about cats…
Incidentally, many places were founded by Christians. Britain was founded by a polytheistic Rome, or, I suppose, by an alliance of several polytheistic, cult-based Celtic tribes. And yet, oddly enough, I can walk down the street in my town and not see a single Latinate temple or human sacrifice! Amazing, don’t you think?
On which topic, Christmas is a Christian festival? No, it isn’t. It’s the birthday of Mithras in Roman mythology, during which time it was customary to give and recieve gifts. It was simply absorbed into Christian mythology as a symbolic date, and what could be seen in English as a rather pathetic pun (son of God = sun god, geddit? Hyuk hyuk)
They stole Halloween from the Pastafarians, too. HOW DARE THEY?
In closing, I’d just like to add DEAR FSM, I’M SO DAMN GLAD I DON’T HAVE A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE TO RECITE!
RAmen, and FSM bless.
TS-W
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Totally real. Unfortunately.
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It’s reasons like this that I’m proud to be a Canadian. People keep saying this and that about the U.S. being a Christian nation. Of course it’s all a bunch of crap. After all, Christians aren’t exactly open to total equality judging from their track record. As #162 said, the U.S. was founded on equality for all. This doesn’t exactly fit the Christian system as of the last 2000+ years.
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@ Teh Spag-worshipper (she of the crappy name):
*Blessed poo*. That’s best original phrase I’ve heard in a long time. I’ll have to start training myself to use it in conversation. A handy way to cuss in meetings without setting off any alarms. Thanks.
RAmen
ET
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I vote fake, only based on the the eternal optimism that I have in humanity.(It gets harder every day…) I have been mistaken before though…
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I’m not sure whether someone has bought this up before but perhaps the Treaty of Tripoli could clear things up..
“As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.”
A pretty emphatic statement of secularism i would say, wouldn’t you?
“what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was”
Apparently not eh?
When you get shown up by a 17 year old english person about the roots of your country it would seem you’ve hit the bottom of the barrel.
Hail his noodley appendage.
RAmen.
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I don’t know about a brain, but apparently, you only had one “.”
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I don’t think he was trying to say that he had a brain, I think he was trying to say his name is Brian. That’s easier to believe than he has anything that functions sitting atop his spinal cord. I wonder what controls his involuntary functions like breathing? Come to think of it, thinking is probably an involuntary function for Brian,I’m sure he never does it on purpose.
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1. Do you have a brain? If you do, please retrain that brain in a school. Basic spelling and grammar shouldn’t be to hard.
2. America was founded by a bunch of Deists. That means, in case you didn’t know, that they believed that a god did create the world and then stepped back. So,
3. Christmas is not a national holiday. Veteran’s Day is a national Holiday. Christmas is like Ramadan or Yom Kippur.
4. I’m assuming you’ve heard of basic American Rights. Like the freedom of speech. So if we ‘dont like it’ we don’t have to go elsewhere.
5. Because America is NOT a Christian nation, nor is it a nation built on the belief system of any religion, it is foolish that Americans pledge allegiance to a ‘nation under God’.
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Ember #170 comment
verry impressed on knowing our nation was created by deist but it really wasent a “bunch” more of a few. mostly on thomas paines part.
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I don’t accept x-mas presents because I am atheist. Instead, I tell everyone to donate to a charity for me, and that is what I give out for presents.
Works much better than spending 300$ on a Wii…
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God loves you all! You will burn in hell, if you don’t love him too…
The Believer
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Hey, person with a brain (but nearly functionally illiterate):
I enjoy Christmas time, and am not offended by it.
Ask yourself this: would be be offended (note spelling) if in the Pledge of Allegiance you were to recite “one nation, under the Flying Spaghetti Monster, ..”?
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i dont see why anyone would get upset that ppl like this roam the planet…nothing beats having an uptight individual around to fuck with when your having a bad day
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“It was simply absorbed into Christian mythology as a symbolic date” You got it! Christian scholars (and oh brother does it pain me to even type that oxymoron) all agree that Jesus was born in the Fall based on the supposed facts in the Babble. “We” celebrate Christmas on Dec 25 because the misguided idiots wanted to supplant the Pagan holidays.
Nice job slapping this goober around BTW!
And for you religious freaks that will read this … YES! I do get offended by even the intimation that I should say the Pledge of Allegiance (stoooooopid in the first place – allegiance to a piece of fabric?!) with *YOUR* god in it. I live in America, and before the country was established, Jefferson wrote that we have an inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. *THAT* is the basis of this country not your stoooooooopid Babble. You can’t keep saying it and making it a fact. Your thought that this is a Christian country massively exposes your ignorance. Read something instead of having the child molester tell it to you on Sunday. My happiness **REQUIRES** a total lack of your idiotic Christian beliefs!
Now, get a sense of humor!
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Well I think christians should look at their own religion before critasising others I mean read the bible and its constantly contradicting itself for example it says “If there is a city where I am not worshipped as god, you must kill every man, woman and child. Slaughter all the cattle then burn the city to the ground.” Now you have to do all that remembering “Thou shalt not kill.” Good luck with that…
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Moen #171 comment
How many constitutes a “bunch”? Don’t forget Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, John Adams, and a couple others who’s names excape me.
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Dear “person with a brain”,
Please give that brain back to whom ever you have taken it from. You are going to get it all messy with crazy religious dogma.
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Christmas is not really a Christian holiday. It was COPIED from the Saturnalia, an ancient Roman holiday that (oh my!) happened right on 25th of December.
Oh, and as far as every History Book have read reads, Benjamin Franklin, Lincoln, George Washington and many, many others were not Christians. Most of them, including Franklin and Washington, where Gnostic (not Agnostic, but Gnostic: it’s different).
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ever heard of periods?
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Ummmm… I had a beer on Cinco de Mayo. Does that make me Mexican by default? If so, then accepting that Xmas present makes you a Pagan! Sweet! I’m going to go eat some tandoori chicken for dinner tonight & become a Hindu…
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Everyone has a brain, not everyone knows how to use it.
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@173
If God loves us why would we go to Hell? Isn’t he supposed to love us unconditionally?
Stupid Christians contradicting themselves again.
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yeah it’s pretty obvious that this guy doesn’t know wtf he’s talking about. For future reference, never say words like “everyone knows”, no matter how obvious it seems, until you consult an encyclopedia (i.e. wikipedia *at the very least*. But even without looking it up, *a person with a brain* (which is normally meant to be interpreted as “think before you speak” and “an educated/intellectual person”) would remember enough from [junior high/high school/college history] to know things like that. When a person is that passionate about their religion and country, it’s kinda sad, because a lack of direction causes all that piety to go to waste :-(
one thing I learned the hard way- don’t get too involved in your beliefs until you at least have a good understanding of what you believe in. And if you’re a Christian- read Josephus. Even if you think secular historians are liars (which when you think about it, makes no sense because *unlike Christians* secular historians are comparably unbiased, simply because they have almost no motivation to present history in anything but a accurate and factual manner. It’s not like Josephus was ignorant (read: contradiction) enough that he really though mis-represention of the facts would harm the church nearly enough to be worth risking his credibility. So you can trust what he says more than the Bible, a least from a logical standpoint.
that, and even if he’s a liar, a fresh account is always a good thing, as it helps put the “truth” into perspective.
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@184
He’s clearly being satirical.
@person with a brain
You may want to examine that brain you got, as it’s spelling and grammar functions are clearly malfunctioning, as is the overall inteligence level. I’d ask my money back, if I were you.
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Umm… Run on sentences much? But i do agree with you in a sense. America WAS founded by christians, however, it has been, for atleast a century, perhaps more i dont know, a multicultural and multi religious nation. The constitution protects the right of people to believe whatever we want. In a sense, isnt that what pastafarianism- and america- is about? And as for your statement about christmas, thats utter crap. One of my best freinds is jewish, a proud jew at that, and still celebrates christmas every year, along side hannukah. And besides, its a known fact Xmas began as a pagan celebration of ancient rome, so, sorry, its not a Christian holiday! Peace
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G I V E T H I S N O T E T O Y O U R M O M M Y .
i will accept a christmas present
i will accept a halloween present
i will accept a happy hannukah present
i will accept a quazy quanza present
i will accept a ” be-nice-to-your-sofa-month” present
but i can not accept an educational system that allows you to spell the word “affended” without a resulting flogging to the genitals.
And anytime you get these words printed after your post:
[I thought this one was fake at first but I’ve changed my mind. What do you guys think? -bobby]
you qualify as a retard or a comic genius.
You sir, (and i use the term loosely) are the former.
Have someone read this to you.
G I V E T H I S N O T E T O Y O U R M O M M Y .
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Thank god Native Americans are Christian… Oh wait nevermind I have no brain… I must know nothing. If the guy that wrote that hate mail reads this, thought you should know that the only reason you have a brain is because the FSM wanted to make sure that we knew how miniscule the work that went on in it was, have a great day dumbass.
rAmen,
Trevor
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Possible link?
The stronger the faith, the less educated the person. With his language skills, I’d be suprised if this one’s even made it past the first few pages of the Wholey Bibel
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Well, I get my happy Saturnals present every year. Not my fault if YOUR sect decided to set a holyday on the same day for obvious political reasons!
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I would like to know where this guy has the Brian, I think it is in a jar pickled in alcohol in their bedroom. Still the spelling mistakes Bobby should be getting the IP addresses as you do know that sending offensive emails is a federal offense. The FBI would be quite happy to give this person a good spanking or his Mommy could do it for him.
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I would like to know where this guy has the Brain (oops I put Brian. Why do I think of Brian Blessed when I am writing these :D get him to do the classic “Gordons Alive” it’s brilliant), I think it is in a jar pickled in alcohol in their bedroom. Still the spelling mistakes Bobby should be getting the IP addresses as you do know that sending offensive emails is a federal offense. The FBI would be quite happy to give this person a good spanking or his Mommy could do it for him.
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I’m pretty sure that this is a troll thread. No one can POSSIBLY be that retarded. *thinks of george bush* oh nevermind.
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Just about every response to me saying anything about my religion (Pastafarianism) contradicts itself.
It’s pretty funny telling them what they just said.
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Ahh, the Irony
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Oh this is just sad. People like this give organized religions a bad name.
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not really. the whole reason america was founded was so that people could have their own religion and wouldn’t have to be christian.
and btw, get an education, then maybe you’ll understand me.
hate mail: so easy, a caveman can do it.
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@ hopeful candidate for chef onboard the flying sailing spaghetti monster cathedral/vessel #188 – the, uh, “person with a brain” also used except instead of accept.
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This topic is quite trendy in the net at the moment. What do you pay the most attention to while choosing what to write ?
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After reading through the article, I feel that I really need more info. Can you share some resources ?
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You really need to do some research. Many founding fathers were not christian, as anyone with a computer could ascertain in about thirty seconds. Think before you type.
RAmen.
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Treaty of Tripoli, Bitch.
May want to get some tests done to confirm that brain is really there.
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I… I can’t tell Bobby. It seems so… Idiotic! I can’t believe a person is this stupid. I just can’t.
Final Verdict: Not real.
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i don’t remember what number it was but someone translated this into proper english and the first line was “blessed poo, stop being such cats”. I found that to be halarious and now instead of saying “holy shit” i try to say (when i can remember) blessed poo and when someone is being a wimp I call them a cat. nobody gets it but its awesome
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this is my favorite thread so far. Real. I would say brain is present but not in working order. And I get offended that “under god” in the pledge. I believe it’s a leftover from the McCarthy era – like we need that! And it doesn’t belong there, it’s not secular, and it should go. But then I also think “in god we trust” should come off the money.
I can live with Christmas (although I tend to call it Yule), and I like the sacred music – I mean how can you quibble with Messiah – it’s great music! And it’s really not a christian holiday anyway – they did a lot of absorbing of many pagan holidays – xmas is just one of them.
And I just did a quick bit of research to confirm that there is no indisputable factual record to confirm the existence of cheesus. And the babble belongs in churches along with the rest of the fiction, not in schools. And I truly loved the remark about an IQ filter for comments. Ok – all done.
kk
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…this can’t possibly be real…can it?
I mean, there aren’t actually people this stupid out there right?
…right?
And Christmas is a Christian holiday? Where did you get that from? Ever heard of Yule? You know, it’s the original Pagan holiday that was ripped off by the Church…
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3 words: Treaty of Tripoli
Do you know what this document says ye who claims to have a brain but obviously doesn’t know how to use it? Quote: Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen; and, as the said States never entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.
You also may want to do some actual research on the Founding Fathers. Many of them were at best deists, if not atheists. The entire point of this country was to NOT have a religious organization running it because that leads to countries like Iran. If you can’t see that, then perhaps you should go somewhere else and leave the rest of us to our free country.
D&WC
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Maybe someone was writing hate mail and they suffered a seizure. That would explain why I can barely read it.
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Young Frankenstein discussing the source of the Monster’s brain with Igor:
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YF: “Igor, you idiot, who did this brain belong to?”
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Igor: “Someone named Abbie.”
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YF: “Abbie who?”
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Igor: “Abbie Normal.”
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Moral: All “brains” are not created equal. Some equal oatmeal mush.
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Cardinal ATSAP REVOL, The Devout Prelate
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What? I can’t understand you. Are you a politician? I’ll try to say this in a manner you will undertand:
LOLZ DAMN poo shit is a joke bloody get over it damn fucken turtle orange.
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The 25th of december was a viking celebration (Yule).For the solstice,when the days start to be longer,it symbolise hope.
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wow i can’t believe people can send you guys so much hate mail. I wonder if the pope gets shit like this. since when is it ok for anyone to completely bash someone elses beliefs when they are obviously not hurting anyone and just getting on with their own lives and not trying to shove their religion down other peoples throats. I am an atheist and I think if i felt the need to have faith and believe in something i would choose fsm because it is a fun loving tolerant religion that appears to have a sense of humor and knows what is right in the world. the simple things. who doesn’t love a big plate of spaghetti??? I think your religion is awesome even though i don’t really believe in it. (sorry). and i’m also sorry that all of the xtians have to bash you guys all the time. worship whatever the (the big fake fiery place) you want.
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