holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
-a person with a brain
[I thought this one was fake at first but I've changed my mind. What do you guys think? -bobby]
Unfortunately, far too many people really are this stupid. I vote real. I spent way too many years interacting with people whose entire worldview was defined by their religious preconceptions – read “prejudice” – and who had no interest in deriving conclusions about anything from observations of reality. Sometimes it can be terrifying to watch. The scariest thing about this post for me is that this person really thinks he/she is intelligent.
@Laura: If I was 30 or 40 years younger, I’d probably be trying to think of ways to get your incredibly lucky boyfriend out of the picture. It gives me hope that the human race may yet somehow survive to know that there is at least one young person out there who can think for herself. Let me know when you run for national office so I can vote for you.
RAmen
ET
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What’s scary is, the guy spells half of his words in netspeak or textspeak, perhaps he needs to go back to grade school.
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Definitly fake…I hope.
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I must admit, I am not a Pastafarian, but I felt inclined to share my opinions here, although you probably won’t be interested.
Why is it that these religious people have never heard of grammar? If you are defending your religion, it’s important to express yourself clearly, wouldn’t you agree? So everyone can understand exactly what you are saying? Perhaps it’s just me, but I tend to disregard automatically those who have never heard of the common comma.
And you Pastafarians, you’re sounding a bit too serious for my liking. I’m sure The Great Spaghetti Monster would like you to be kind and understanding towards those who have not yet seen the light.
Besides, you’ve all got it totally wrong. Oscar Wilde is the true creator of the multiverse, and we must all go out and buy copies of The Picture of Dorian Gray if we are to be allowed entrance to heaven after the chipmunks destroy the world.
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Which part did you think was fake — the post or the tag?
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Sounds like someone from McCain’s voting base.
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Wow, assuming this IS real, I’m sorry to say that I do live in the United States. Well that being said, I can assure you non-Americans here that this really is a problem. The majority of people in this country are complete idiots that have no sense of logic/reason, cannot think for themselves, and blindly trust their churches and government. Hopefully one day I, or anyone else that actually knows how to use their mind for something other than drinking beer (not that there’s anything wrong with that!), will have the chance to change that.
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Sad to say but I think it’s real. I’ve met too many of these types and they all seem to have a common thread running through their collective consciousness. Truly pathetic in their blind devotion. I even had one tell me that if Jesus was alive today he’d drive a Cadillac because the son of God would never be seen in a small car. What? I was speechless. As for the Christmas reverence, lots of non Christians get together with teir families and swap gifts at that time of year. Why not, it’s fun. My family is quite large now what with cousins and grandchildren. We eat and drink too much and have a great time. That’s what it’s all about. Not some silly story that probably didn’t happen. This year I’m going to bring a big batch of sauce and noodles! Oh yeah, can’t forget the wine and beer!
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Fake. A real Xtian, but a fake letter.
“Under God” was added to the pledge of allegiance in 1952 so that it would be easy to find the Commies. They’d be the ones skipping that part. If it wasn’t for that we’d have never caught all those low lives and won the Cold War. Think how much sooner we would have won if congress had made it “Under his pastaness the FSM”.
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I don’t get my pirate panties in a twist unless this kind of person has the nerve to get in my face. I’m sure there is a very real, very de-educated, angry young christian somewhere who penned this. Even if not, we all know they’re out there.
That said, before I grew up and mustered the courage to think for myself, and make choices based on research (not fear), I could have been very like minded to this person. Though in my day school was a safe place where we actually learned about all kinds of things. Except other faiths and cultures. It’s not his or her fault that their education system is crap and their future scary. I’d be angry too. Let’s hope this person uses the internet to educate themselves, as our society has sorely failed them. Belittling them will not push them toward a more loving world view.
I’ve been ostracized by my family for having the nerve to learn about the world, and culture, and embracing the all of it for what it is. But I’m alright, person with a brain, I don’t really want conditional love in my life.
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From my knowledge – the nation was founded by Puritans. Which are… Not Chistrians, they’re related to Christians however so you’re rather close I suppose.
I’m an athiest myself, but I actually don’t care for the word god in the pledge of allegiance. So, I’m also a little irritated over how touchy people get being a patriot, what our forefathers have made official to our country is something I believe should stick around. I am however fond of the idea presented by Robin Williams; “one nation under Canada, above Mexico.”
- Here
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Yeah, it would be nice if the hate-mailers (if they’re real) would stick around to discuss. Otherwise we’re just posting our counterarguments for no apparent reason…
@Neal-
Your God vaccine is an interesting idea. And possibly a premise for a sci-fi book…
“Doctor, Timmy’s been blathering about omnipotent beings again.”
“Timmy, let me see your arm for a moment.”
“Why… ouch!”
Perhaps the FSM’s noodly appendage is the delivery system!
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Well, since a fundamental requirement of any belief system is that be based on something so unlikely that is can be regarded for all intents and purposes as impossible and wrong (if there is any remote possibility of it describing reality, it is not part of a belief system, but a knowledge system, I can expand on that if anyone is interested) people who believe can only hold onto their beliefs against the advancing tide of knowledge by blocking out evidence.
They decry all other belief systems because they are perfectly able to apply the same intellectual examination to those beliefs as we do to all beliefs, and they can clearly see the falacies in them. The permanent state of cognitive dissonance in which they live makes them bigoted and dogmatic, because that is the only way they can continue to believe selectively as they do.
They probably start out as rigid and rather anal thinkers, who have been conditioned by their very narrow environments to believe certain things and they develop the ability to be selective with their intellectual abilities in order to manage this state of cognitive dissonance.
The reason it is more prevalent in US than other developed countries is probably because there are more communities in US that are really self-contained and receive little in the way of cultural cross-flow. When everyone around you says the same thing and it is repeated frequently, it achieves a level of certainty very easily and despite any obvious improbability. It is really just another form of Groupthink. I lecture in UK to groups of visiting provincial US students and we are amazed at what they and often their lecturers, simply don’t know that would be regarded as common knowledge in much of the world.
That situation existed in places like Saudi Arabia until Desert Storm and the huge problem with Islamic reaction comes from the awful culture shock that many of those people suffered at the time and which has spread across the region. The further west you go across North Africa, where there are long-established trading links into Europe, the less fundamental you find the Moslems, but turn south into isolated areas like northern Nigeria and you find Sharia law and extreme views.
60%-70% or so of people are never going to think outside their community, but will make pogress as their community develops. The leap into atheism has always been for the higher and most cosmopolitan IQ groups, so I’d say just be a bit thankful about being in that minority.
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You slaves no not my power and any who will do what you humans call “hate mail” to my great prophet, Bobby Henderson will be cursed and will never be touched by my noodely appendages and will never be translated to “heaven”, if that is what you humans call it. I and very happy that humans are finally realizing my noodelyness and my church is flourishing.
~Flying Spaghetti Monster~
~FSM~
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This idiot Is ALMOST corect, If you discount the millions of native americans, who got here THOUSANDS of years earlier, the firs WESTERN presence in Americaa was NOT the pilgrims, But Christopher Columbus, who landed in Puerto Rico, in the 1490s on his second voyagee which was founded as a CATHOLIC and not a Christian country. The king even replaced the govenor with official church rule at one point, by dispathching 3 priests who were officers of the Holy Inquisition to sort things out.(No-one expects the spanish inquisition) They executed the old Govenor by tourture for his misdeeds, but protestants, Jews & other NON- catholics often had to flee Spains possessions in the new world to the pirate havenns of Trinidad, Jamaica port Royal etc, in order to avoid torture & execution for heresy by the holy inquisition…….. The irony is that If he was a protestaant, Which most bible thumpers these days seem to be, he proboably would have been executed for heresy by the Spanish inquisition back in those early days of religious rule in america……
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Its a pity those with brans chooose to become organ donors, and have them removed BEFORE posting bible thumping messages…….
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Hello, dear fellow person with a brain. I am glad that you have one, too – you have now completed step one. Step two is putting this brain to work. I would recommend starting with reading books written for children. Advanced brain excercises, like coming to conclusions after thinking, comes later.
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@jeremykeys
“I even had one tell me that if Jesus was alive today he’d drive a Cadillac because the son of God would never be seen in a small car.”
How is it that your head didn’t explode? My head nearly exploded just reading about it, and I was holding the text up to a mirror to divert some of the force.
Seriously, though, I have seen someone, right there in front of me, actively decide to ignore reality because it conflicted with her religious (xian, of course) faith. My head actually exploded. I’ve had a mind-boggling headache ever since.
ET (he of the boggled mind)
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Damn right I want my Christmas presents…silly Christians with your your gift-giving holidays.
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Idiot to English Translation:
Holy shit! Quit being such pussies! Damn! Who honestly gets offended because they have to say god in the pledge of allegiance, and that Christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday. Who the fuck are we kidding. You will still accept a CHRISTMAS PRESENT, so all of you are fake if you’re not a Christian. So quit being assholes and go somewhere else if you don’t like it. Whoever says that this nation wasn’t founded by Christians is dumb because everyone knows that it was.
-a person with a brain (and spell check).
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Maybe you should read a little more about the “founding fathers” of this country, George Washington actually said “This country is by no means founded on christian beliefs” and your almighty Christmas was actually stolen from Pagan celebrations. You christians just refuse to read any other books. Don’t you ever wonder why you give gifts or put a tree in your house?? WTF does a tree have to do with a baby being born?? It was the Pagans way of celebrating the winter solstice the christians just stole the practice like they did with Easter and everything else
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What about an atheist. How would you respond to having to stand up and every day say “we as a nation deny the existence of God.”
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Holy shit, learn how to use your god-given spell check, dude, you’ve burned my retinas with your crappy spelling and random acts of typos!
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Dear “a person with a brain”,
Please don’t reproduce. Ever.
Thanks.
Sincerely,
The World
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To the FAKE FSM (AKA, HisNoodeliness),
.
When you wrote, “You slaves no not my power and any who will do what you humans call “hate mail” to my great prophet, Bobby Henderson will be cursed and will never be touched by my noodely appendages and will never be translated to “heaven”, if that is what you humans call it. I and very happy that humans are finally realizing my noodelyness and my church is flourishing.
~Flying Spaghetti Monster~”
.
BE GONE YE SCURVY FRAUD! I rebuke you as an impostor. Our Lord, the Flying Spaghetti Monster could never have written what you posted. Evidently, you have not read The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or you would have known about number seven of the Eight I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts, which reads: “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t go around telling people I talk to you. You’re not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can’t you take a hint?”
.
RAmen
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that hurt my brain.
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Actually I’m offended that we have to say a pledge of allegiance at all.
Even with the misspelling of “still” I’m guessing its real.
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Hmm, I don’t recite the Pledge of Allegiance. When I was younger it was because I was Christian and took to heart Yeshua’s admonitions about “vain repetitions”. Now that I am older I simply feel I owe no allegiance to a piece of fabric. Write a pledge to the Constitution and I’ll say that at least once an hour every day. As for Xmas, I haven’t gotten or received a gift specifically of the incorrectly dated natal day of the mythical Christian godchild. I will occasionally exchange Long Night Gifts. What my family does is get ourselves a big family gift, like a Wii or a night on the town, around the sixth of January. After the holiday shopping frenzy is over. We chose that day because we can often suck in Christians who will get us more gifts because it’s sort of their holiday as well. :D
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I just played a fun game! Find a period by its self in that message. I really hurt my eyes.
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I am a Christian Pastor. This guy’s nonsense is embarrassing. Sorry.
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I’d suspect that this “person with a brain” has spent too much time cuddled up to the beer volacano. I some times get incoherant like this when I’m getting close to the spins or when I’m not sleeping well. It’s just I have the brains not to post on line when I’m in that condition.
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Sounds like the ramblings of Napoleon Dynamite. Just has to close with “Gosshhhh!!”
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Actually, I don’t except Christmas presents. Accept them with grace.
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Most of the founding fathers were deists, and they most certainly were not christians. In fact, the constitution was written as part of the Enlightenment period of history, in which people were trying to break away from religion because of all the harm it had caused for the past several hundred years in Europe.
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brand new to the site, i found it while looking for a darwin fish. read the letter to the kansas school board, and truly laughed til i cried. so, i came back this evening to check it out some more, and started reading the posts/replies. anyway, great stuff, keep up the good work!
as for the addition of ‘under god’ to the pledge, i think it was also inserted to show that the US was a ‘good, christian’ nation as we were fighting the cold war vs the ‘evil, atheist’ ussr, so that set us apart. wonderful…
as for the ‘this nation was founded on christian beliefs’ line, i laugh every time i see that. i’ve read a lot of american history. i think others need to as well.
also, regarding holidays and observances…christianity has existed as long as it has, and has been so successful for so long because it’s taken bits of other religions such as paganism and incorporated it into christianity. winter solstice celebrations folded into christmas (the tree comes from the germanic areas, and pagans worshipped the ‘birth’ of the sun in december, which became the birth of the ’son’)-easter is named for the goddess of spring time, with eggs and bunnies still being in use today-they represented fertility for pagans. halloween became all souls day in the christian calendar….it goes on and on.
anyway, so glad i found this place, it’s great! i have apparently been touched by that noodly appendage. RAmen!
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“holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian.”
I may be wrong, but this may or may not be a run-on sentence, sorry it just bothered me.
That being said I have a question. Who said that they were offended about all of that stuff? And would you rather us rename Christmas to the holiday it actually was thousands of years ago when founded by the druids and the Romans called the Saturnelia?
So my question to you is would you accept a Saturnelia present from me? Or would you hang some popcorn and lights and hang ornaments with me on my Saturnelia tree?
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Srsly – who cares what a closed minded person says? A mouth with no ears is an useless organ.
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Hello Person with a Brain!
I would like to ask where you left this so-called “brain” of yours. You obviously forgot to take it to English class with you.
The correct spelling of “pussys” is “p-u-s-s-I-E-s.”
The definition of “except,” according to the Oxford English Dictionary is:
preposition
not including; other than : naked except for my socks | they work every day except Sunday.
I believe you meant to say “accept”
verb [ trans. ]
1 consent to receive (a thing offered) : he accepted a pen as a present.
I also suggest you go to Barns & Noble and purchase a 2nd grade grammar book, as you obviously have no concept of periods, commas, apostrophes, or the proper use of capital letters.
Or does your god just prohibit the use of grammar?
-Jeebuz
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“a person with a brain” should try to use spell check because last time i checked, in this country anyway, “affended” wasn’t a word. if said “person with a brain” does not like the english language he/she can “go somewhere else” if he/she doesn’t like it.
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I don’t know this holiday Christmas…although he may be speaking of Christ-my-ass day…idk…
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doesn’t this idiot remind you of Pat Robertson? the lack of intelligence, the insistence that America was built on Christian foundations, etc. christmas has lost all religious meaning so to a “person with a brain” (and a nice display with that type of 3rd grade level grammar) , that point is void. and when the fuck did accepting presents become a religious activity?
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holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
-a person with a brain
A person with a brain needs to learn how to use it. “Affended” isn’t even a word. “Christmas” is an overcomercial and made up, held at the same time as a pagan sun holiday, I don’t think not believing in a zombie un-entitles me to a present – I DEMAND AN E-Z BAKE OVEN! And last time I checked this is the church of FSM, so quit being such an asshole and go somewhere else if you don’t like it. -RAmen
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holy shit – You’re blast-fah-mee-ing your own god
quit being such pussys damn – Pussy – noun, the thing that all humans came out of, (exept the ones of course that FSM directly made) pussy, sounds like a porthole from god, :D. (and on a serious note, athism – noun (lol) – The triumph of logic over fear of an invisible parental figure whom has split personalitys and could use anger manegement.)
god in the pledge of allegince – It’s filling our fragile children’s heads with confusion (I mean look at YOU) and evil lies that will eventually cost them a sripper factory and a beer volcano, :(
national CHRISTIAN holiday – national COMERCIAL holiday, and yes I still exepect my Fur-Real friend, AND I WANT IT NOW FSM DAMMIT!
quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it – Uhhh, this is OUR church, it’s not like pastafarians go into those Christian pointy buildings and insult YOUR religion. *glares*
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Hey. person with a brain:
My dog needs a brain transplant, and since you’re not using yours…. Of course people might notice Fido’s sudden inability to spell. BTW, if you lived in a society dominated by a shrill minority who were members of a non-Christian religion, would you ’stop being a pussy’ and let them force their beliefs on you? I’m betting no.
May the blessings of His Noodly appendage grant you peace (and a spellchecker)
eepp
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I am an American so I call Xmas “Capitalist Day”. I sit by a toasty fire and read Atlas Shrugged. Have a “Merry Capitalist Day Bitches”..
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Fail
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“holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince”
(WRONG -god was NEVER mentioned in the original pledge of allegiance. the word was added in the 1950’s to fuel the anti-communism fire and further separate us from the communists.)
“and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday”
(WRONG again – christmas was originally a pagan holiday – NOT christian)
“and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian.”
(when you make a list to ask Santa and the baby jesus for presents this year, ask them for “Spellcheck”"
“so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was”
(WRONG yet again – this country was founded primarily by deists and atheists who KNEW the dangers of combining religion and politics and specifically arranged our constitution to separate the two. Read a book, jerkoff.)
“-a person with a brain”
(WRONG, wrong, wrong – you don’t have a brain)
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I am an American, I have a brain, and I know that the USA was founded on Chrostianity. Come on guys wake up!
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Methinks this person with a brain must know what he’s talking about, otherwise he wouldn’t dare exposing his eloquence. I don’t know what he’s trying to say, so I must be lacking in brain.
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“This nation”?
-
Erm, I assume that you are referring to the USA, do they not teach geography in xtian schools? Namely that there are OTHER countries apart from the US! Honestly! I’m NOT making it up!
-
Rule Britannia, doo d-doo d-doo etc… ;)
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