holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
-a person with a brain
[I thought this one was fake at first but I've changed my mind. What do you guys think? -bobby]
It must be fake. The level of idiocy is horrifically sickening. I could understand if they didn’t know the difference between Deism and Christianity, but not knowing that there is nothing Christian about Christmas, and how it was originally a pagan holiday banned by the Christian powers at the time is rather unnerving. Also, “…under god…” was added in 1954 by the Knights of Columbus. Also, “In God We Trust” wasn’t added to coins until 1864, and wasn’t added to paper money until 1957. Anyone could tell that we were founded as a Deist nation and have since become more and more Christian. This person my have a brain, but it atrophied long ago.
The level of profanity, randomly capitalized words, complete disregard of grammar and atrocious spelling is consistent with other hate mail, so it could possibly be real.
Peace
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FAKE.
.
Or brain-dead.
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i think its just one pissed off religous person tring to get rid of pastafarianism without relising what we stand for.
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It must be fake. It’s too stupid to be real. And even if it is real, it is too stupid to deserve a response. Nice try, though.
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I….damn. I HOPE this is a troll, because if it isn’t…..
I fear for humanity.
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I sure hope that he is kidding, because holy shit. I love the double standard though. Who gets offended by deeming the nation Christian? All of you are just hating on us, because were the best! We don’t do anything wrong!
Then on the other hand, you have Catholics trying to get PZ Myers fired because he criticized the Eucharist.
Sigh.
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I think He has a problem with spelling and road rage crisis
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I know that I take exception to a Christmas present. Given the poor spelling/grammar/logic displayed, the signature is by far my favorite irony of this letter.
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I think it’s fake – true Christians are scandalized by the commercialization of Christmas, and certainly do not believe that celebration of the holiday is enough to make one a Christian.
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I think it’s really real, Bobby…
This is why we cannot beat them with logic, fellow pirates. Faith is the tenacious clinging to a single pebble of belief, fully in the face of mountains… no planets… no galaxies of proof against it. Mr. Brain here would fully cling to his beliefs even if Jesus himself, looking like the bizarre, long-haired hippy white guy that the churches always seem so fixated upon, even if Jesus himself came down and told Mr. Brain to knock it off, he would still cling to this belief. Sad really. It’s a good thing that we know the TRUTH, and the truth tastes good…
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I’m not so sure this is a fake, there are actually people this stupid in the word.
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Nah, if the others are real then this one has to be too…
But my my, hasn’t Mr Dictionary deserted us again?
Notice he said nothing about christianity in schools. I think it’s because he’s never been to one.
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Unfortunately, I’ve run into far too many of these people to actually believe he/she/it is fake. Chances are, it’s some angry little kid who’s listened to his/her/its parents too much to be able to think for itself. Unfortunately, this kid and/or its parents are sadly mistaken about…well, everything.
It seems they have forgotten that Christmas is actually a “national” Pagan holiday, not a Christian one. Therefore, by their logic, that person is a fake Christian because he/she/it observes it as a holiday, and I’m willing to bet the same can be said for Easter. Labeling it something different from what it originally was called doesn’t make it a miraculously new holiday, it just has a new label now. But, sadly, this is obviously enough to fool the not-so-intelligent and even less educated. (Of course, not all non-religious people partake in Christmas. My boyfriend doesn’t, and I don’t – as much as possible while being a minor in a Christian household.)
Also, let’s take a moment to review our history, shall we?
“The religious views of the Founding Fathers are of great interest to propagandists of today’s Americans right, anxious to push their version of history. Contrary to their view, the fact that the United States was not founded as a Christian nation was early stated in the terms of a treaty with Tripoli, drafted in 1796 under George Washington and signed by John Adams in 1797:
‘As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.’”
And in conclusion, class, people suck.
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Well, it certainly seems like other hate mails – atrocious spelling, leaps of logic, and total disregard for facts – so it does seem legit.
Scarecrow -
I haven’t seen anything on here of any Pastafarians getting “affended” by the pledge of “allegince”, so I assume you made up this part, probably from having a bad digestion. Might I suggest some noodly goodness, easy on the marina and cheese.
Christmas is an appropriated holiday, originally the festival of Saturnalia held by the Romans. The Christian church(es) at that time couldn’t stop people from celebrating during the Saturnalia – including the exchange of gifts and lighted trees and December 25th (q.v. Mithraism) – so they appropriated the holiday and made it their own. The Roman pantheon and Mithraism passed out of favor, so these traditions only remained in Christian celebrations.
You mean that only Christians can exchange gifts on Christmas??? You’re not really from around here (i.e., U.S.) are you?
Christians just have the best PR. They appropriate everything, even their mythology.
The “nation wasnt found by christians is dumb” argument isn’t worth addressing, since it’s already been addressed many times on this site (and through history). But I will say this much – most haters like yourself seem desperate to find something that validates your belief, so small facts like some of the founding fathers (and mothers) were no doubt Christians gets fallaciously stretched to mean “the country was founded by Christians”, which “who the fuck r we kidding” is really code for “founded as a Christian nation.”
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This one is probably fake; there are too many misspelled words.
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Well there have been lots of muttering that it’s to stupid to be true – well all I can say is some people believe that man and dinosaurs co-existed and the world was created in six days. I think it’s a fake but there’s always that nagging doubt that yes people really are this stupid.
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I’m calling Poe’s Law on this one.
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Well…….if it’s for real…….I hope he doesn’t procreate.
RAmen
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Of course I´d take the damn presents. Not just from Christians, but also from muslims, buddhists, jews, russians, Marsians and even americans.
I do it because it is UNPOLITE to turn down a gift. … And because I am greedy. YAAARRRGGGh!!
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I vote real…but then I wonder if the author would or wouldn’t be a pussy if the author was ever forced to recite the pledge with FSM in place of God. I think the author of the letter would be the first on the front lines screaming bloody murder over that.
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I think I know this guy… wasn’t he one of the stupid characters in ‘Idiocracy’?
—
The problem is when dealing with someone who is this obviously stupid; there is no reasoning with them. Even if you lay out a compelling and precise argument, their capacity to comprehend and reason is simply not up to the task. For someone with such severely limited mental skills, it’s simple, it is easier to believe than think. I mean come on look at what and how he wrote.
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This person must be one of those failures in evolution that occur regularly.
.
Unfortunately, it will probably live long enough to breed because of all the laws we have that protect stupid people.
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This has to be fake. Anyone who claims to have a brain would have at least run a spell check.
.
And the tired old argument of “this is a Christian nation.” Even if this nation was founded by people who were Christians- it was not- that does not mean that this is a Christian nation. The constitution along with the peace treaty with the Pasha of Tripoli (and many, many other sources) clearly state this.
.
Why is there even a debate about that?!
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Quite frankly, it is national embarrassment to the United States that this level of ignorance/stupidty is so widespread amongst it population. The US was not founded on Christianity. I have an 4 year old niece who knows that. Secondly, the Christmas and Easter holidays are pagan festivals that were stolen by Christianity. What you have succeeded in though is demonstrating yet again how intelligence and religion are very seldom seen together. I can only hope that you are seven years old or younger.
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Remember, if people give have habitually given you Christmas presents, you’re a Christian.
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I wish I could assert that this level of overt idiocy was an attempt to provide fodder for the hate mail page and nothing more. Alas, I encounter oceans of people who would regard this poster as the height of coherence and rationality. Sadly, I say that this is probably real.
With the myriad of challenges facing humanity, I wish we didn’t have to fight illiteracy, illogic and irrationality on top of everything else. Sadly, unless you do believe in miracles or are willing to support a semi-benevolent dictatorship (vote for me!), it seems that the rapidly falling level of education will inundate us in hordes of lemming-like people who would rather cling to a fallacious belief system than participate in progressing the species away from mere domesticated primates to thinking, rational and logical homo sapiens. We have the label now, but as I look at many of my fellow primates, I can only conclude there isn’t a lot of ’sapien’ in a majority of the herd.
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Fake. But if I am wrong, let this person show his toughness by stating who he is and where he’s from.
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Who let George Bush on his computer??
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FAKE.
.
Or Christian.
^^^^^^^^
Cey, I fixed this for ya…
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I vote real and very very stupid.
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Bobby, I’m starting to think the majority of the hate mail posts are fake, and I imagine the original posters laughing their asses off when we (the members of a parody web site) fail to recognize the post as parody, and respond to it as though it was genuine. I’ve even suspected you of creating some of them, just to yank our strings a bit. I also wonder if we are seeing ALL of the hate mail, or just a selection of the juicier ones. A rational dialog with a poster willing to respond would be nice for a change, vs the ‘fuck u’ class and the usual group of standard responses.
…
On the other hand, the post does make a point. Just why IS Christmas an official holiday? Consulting that never-wrong oracle, Wikipedia, I read Christmas as “being declared a federal holiday on June 26, 1870 by then-U.S. President Ulysses S. Grant”. Other posters have pinned down the chronology of the appearance of “God” on coinage, currency, and the Pledge of Allegiance, so that date frames in nicely with those. Whatever. The fact remains that many non-Christians celebrate Xmas, and as the post says, it’s more about the presents (and the resulting Winter-time economic stimulation) than it is about worshiping Christ. So, why didn’t the Founding Fathers make it a holiday to start with, instead of making us wait a century? Hmmm….
…
Assuming the post is real, the poster should realize that the quarrel is not with SAYING the words “under God” (because I don’t), but with their presence there. I don’t want to see “under the FSM” there either. Nor do I wish to confuse The Pilgrims with The Founding Fathers, something many of the hate mail posters seem to have trouble with, there being an immense difference between the two.
…
I particularly like the “go somewhere else if u dont like it” phrase. We ARE somewhere else, the FSM website. You came to us, person with a brain, remember? And clearly, regarding a Xian nation, if “every one knows that it was”, then there would be no controversy regarding the Kansas School Board, and this website wouldn’t exist.
…
As for anything else: The Flying Spaghetti Monster said it, I believe it, and that settles it! …. RAmen.
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@ Laura, I get a lump in my throat to know there are young people as intelligent and well educated as you growing up in the U.S. It gives me pause that one day we’ll see a president that will stand up and say something like ‘Don’t judge me for my beliefs, for I believe in science’ or something of that nature.
Living in Australia it’s hard to not think of the States as some breeding ground for christendom, largely due to what we get shoved down our throat by the Oz media (don’t get me started). But you and this site give me hope that one day ‘we will overcome’, to borrow a phrase…
As for our latest hate mailer, he has probably forgotten to take his meds after his lobotomy… so he probably should have signed off with ‘person with a part of a brain, which isn’t functioning real well, as you can see by my atrocious spelling and logic’.
p.s We are currently being invaded by xtian pilgrims for the World Youth Day and their leader Pope Pontius the Pointy Hat has just arrived, could everyone please pray that the He makes an appearance and touches them with His noodly appendage.
RAmen
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I love the way this guy signs it-”a person with a brain”. It’s exactly like how the Republicans market things-George W. Bush is “a refermer with results”, the FISA act which trashes the 4th Amendment is “The Protect America Act”, and of course when Bushies pushed through oil and gas exploration in the national parks, it was entitled something “The Responsible Protection of Resources Act”.
It’s brilliant: War is Peace, Famine is Plenty, Hate is Love, and I forgot the 4th and final language degradation Orwell warned us about.
As for this person’s claims in the letter, we’ve already knocked every hole in it that could be, so why repeat ourselves. Some people are too stupid and blind to ever see the truth.
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is he actually offering us a christmas present?
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There is almost certainly a neuro-chemical basis for these people’s beliefs. Probably some in the visual or auditory cortex triggers a set of neutrons to fire which consitutes a profession of religious belief, and following it, some neurochemical is released by the brain, like oxcytocin or dopamine which makes to professor feel sooo goooood.
I think some brain institute ought to be looking into the etiology of this process with a view toward blocking one or more components of the process. I’m certain a specific molecule could be developed which would block just this process without interfering in any normal brain functions.
Once that’s found, children could be vaccinated against religous belief, perhaps as early a 1-2 years old.
In short we can cure the disease of religion, we just need to find the will and the resources.
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I wish it was fake…I really do.
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Fake or just incredibly stupid.
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wasn’t it “Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience” just a thought.
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Founded by Masons for everyone! And the terminology I believe is “holiday-giving article”
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“so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it” Where does he want us to go???
Must i feel offended too? Because i am from Europe so …
And yes i am a true believer of the great FSM and i give my kids presents with christmass. It has nothing to do with christianity after all so why shouldn’t we? Its just a tree with presents and loads of food and beer where i live.
p.s.: I vote for an International Flying Spaghetti Day on every 1st of january, who’s in for it?
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It just occurred to me that we might be able to split the difference on this ‘Christmas’ thing. Why not rename it ‘Intelligent Design-mas’ day and call it even?
…
As for anything else: The Flying Spaghetti Monster said it, I believe it, and that settles it! …. RAmen.
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FAKE! Pastafarians, don’t fall for this kind of bait and respond with a knee jerk. No one could be stupid enough to write such a shitty note, not even an Evangelical Christian.
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Home schooled?
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Did you notice the lack of letters in the typing?
I’m wondering if this is actually an entity coming from an imperfect parallel universe; poor guy/gal/thing, he/she/it is trapped in a Universe he/she/it can’t understand.
Praise the FSM.
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Ur a FOOL! you take such offence to being bummed out by this fact of FSMism thats how we feel towards ur theory of god angry that its shuld b taught in schools!!! so shove it up ur ASS!
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I think it’s real. When these folks can hide behind the comfortable anonymity of the internet, their inner Satan is revealed every time without fail. Ever notice how much profanity they need to communicate? Maybe when they engage in glossolalia they’re really swearing at us pastafarians! :0
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Man… now we’re the pussy’s who get offended easily? Get your fucking facts straight, you’re the one sending a hate mail.
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The United States was founded on the belief that religion was to be seperate from politics – it was therefore not a Christian nation. Also Christmas and Easter are based on the winter soltice and spring equinox which were celebrated by pegans before being stolen by Christians and adapted to Christianity.
Read a book, (other than the Bible).
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“Once that’s found, children could be vaccinated against religous belief, perhaps as early a 1-2 years old. In short we can cure the disease of religion, we just need to find the will and the resources.”
A vaccine against Christianity!! What a splendid idea!!!
We have to put our heads together and see what we can do on this…. just might save the World from armageddon….etc…
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Won’t even try to argue as it might strain his brain. This guy deserves ID classes.
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