holy shit quit being such pussys

Published by Bobby Henderson July 12th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).

holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
-a person with a brain

[I thought this one was fake at first but I’ve changed my mind. What do you guys think? -bobby]

170 Responses to “holy shit quit being such pussys”

1. 161 - October 14th, 2008 at - Ken Chiancone Says:
   
   

   When I was in high school(graduated just this year), I found a simple way to still pledge my allegiance to the country I love while not having to acknowlege a God I don’t worship. It’s quite simple and makes sense. Just replace “under God” with “under the people”. It makes sense as this country(USA) was founded with the concept that the average person could make a difference in the way the nation was going.

   Just a suggestion…

2. 162 - October 24th, 2008 at - Teh Spag-worshipper (she of the crappy name) Says:
   
   

   ‘holy shit quit being such pussys damn who honstly gets affended cause they have to say god in the pledge of allegince and that christmas is a national CHRISTIAN holiday and who the fuck r we kidding you will stil except a CHRISTMAS PRESENT so all of u r fake if ur not a chritstian. so quit being assholes and go somewhere else if u dont like it…and what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was
   -a person with a brain’

   —

   Because sometimes somebody just has to be anal retentive, here’s a possible translation into English:

   ‘Blessed poo, stop being such cats. Damnation, who honestly gets offended because they must say ‘God’ in the Pledge of Alliegance and that Christmas is a Christian holiday? And who the sex are we kidding, as you will still accept a Christmas present? So stop being such anuses, and go elsewhere if you don’t like it… And whatever you say to the effect that this nation [America?] wasn’t founded by Christians is foolish, because everyone knows that it was.’

   Nope, still makes very little sense. Especially the part about cats…

   Incidentally, many places were founded by Christians. Britain was founded by a polytheistic Rome, or, I suppose, by an alliance of several polytheistic, cult-based Celtic tribes. And yet, oddly enough, I can walk down the street in my town and not see a single Latinate temple or human sacrifice! Amazing, don’t you think?

   On which topic, Christmas is a Christian festival? No, it isn’t. It’s the birthday of Mithras in Roman mythology, during which time it was customary to give and recieve gifts. It was simply absorbed into Christian mythology as a symbolic date, and what could be seen in English as a rather pathetic pun (son of God = sun god, geddit? Hyuk hyuk)

   They stole Halloween from the Pastafarians, too. HOW DARE THEY?

   In closing, I’d just like to add DEAR FSM, I’M SO DAMN GLAD I DON’T HAVE A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE TO RECITE!

   RAmen, and FSM bless.

   TS-W

3. 163 - November 16th, 2008 at - Mike Says:
   
   

   Totally real. Unfortunately.

4. 164 - November 17th, 2008 at - JoshM Says:
   
   

   It’s reasons like this that I’m proud to be a Canadian. People keep saying this and that about the U.S. being a Christian nation. Of course it’s all a bunch of crap. After all, Christians aren’t exactly open to total equality judging from their track record. As #162 said, the U.S. was founded on equality for all. This doesn’t exactly fit the Christian system as of the last 2000+ years.

5. 165 - November 17th, 2008 at - ET, the Extra Terrestrial Says:
   
   

   @ Teh Spag-worshipper (she of the crappy name):
   *Blessed poo*. That’s best original phrase I’ve heard in a long time. I’ll have to start training myself to use it in conversation. A handy way to cuss in meetings without setting off any alarms. Thanks.
   RAmen
   ET

6. 166 - November 18th, 2008 at - ralphie Says:
   
   

   I vote fake, only based on the the eternal optimism that I have in humanity.(It gets harder every day…) I have been mistaken before though…

7. 167 - November 18th, 2008 at - Chris Says:
   
   

   I’m not sure whether someone has bought this up before but perhaps the Treaty of Tripoli could clear things up..

   “As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.”

   A pretty emphatic statement of secularism i would say, wouldn’t you?

   “what ever u say that this nation wasnt founded by christians is dumb cause every one knows that it was”

   Apparently not eh?

   When you get shown up by a 17 year old english person about the roots of your country it would seem you’ve hit the bottom of the barrel.

   Hail his noodley appendage.

   RAmen.

8. 168 - November 18th, 2008 at - Cape Buffalo Says:
   
   

   I don’t know about a brain, but apparently, you only had one “.”

9. 169 - November 19th, 2008 at - spasticnutz Says:
   
   

   I don’t think he was trying to say that he had a brain, I think he was trying to say his name is Brian. That’s easier to believe than he has anything that functions sitting atop his spinal cord. I wonder what controls his involuntary functions like breathing? Come to think of it, thinking is probably an involuntary function for Brian,I’m sure he never does it on purpose.

10. 170 - November 29th, 2008 at - Ember Says:
    
    

    1. Do you have a brain? If you do, please retrain that brain in a school. Basic spelling and grammar shouldn’t be to hard.
    2. America was founded by a bunch of Deists. That means, in case you didn’t know, that they believed that a god did create the world and then stepped back. So,
    3. Christmas is not a national holiday. Veteran’s Day is a national Holiday. Christmas is like Ramadan or Yom Kippur.
    4. I’m assuming you’ve heard of basic American Rights. Like the freedom of speech. So if we ‘dont like it’ we don’t have to go elsewhere.
    5. Because America is NOT a Christian nation, nor is it a nation built on the belief system of any religion, it is foolish that Americans pledge allegiance to a ‘nation under God’.

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