For those who think

Published by Bobby Henderson June 14th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).

For those who think that the “invisible Pink unicorn” is made up and would rather believe in the “FSM”, try to see the simularity of the stupidity of these two “religions” cos i truly think that the people of today have completelly gone out of their fucking minds! AARRH!
surely you’ve got to be a retard to believe this crap!

What i’m saying is that the design of this “FSM” looks like two testicles with lots of tentacles! what perv came up with that picture? it’s grossly indignifying to man kind!!!!
-gkerr

119 Responses to “For those who think”

1. 101 - July 17th, 2008 at - The Mighty Meatball Says:
   
   

   Well since we actually know what our “god” looks like and most other religions don’t–since when you see him you die (which goes all the way back to ancient mythology) and burst into flames–I don’t see how you can bash it. I think the pictures of Jesus look like Ted Nuggent but I don’t say that.

2. 102 - July 17th, 2008 at - Hibbo Says:
   
   

   What are you on about? The DESIGN of the FSM? He wasn’t designed - he designed US and EVERYTHING around us! The image you see has been recreated by man after the FSM appeared before the Prophet Bobby.

   DO NOT come on here and insult everything we stand for and believe in - over here in the UK we have religious hatred laws to prevent this kind of thing.

3. 103 - July 22nd, 2008 at - Not really a theist Says:
   
   

   The people of today… Hrmm.. let me see, that also includes… YOU. YOU are “out of your fucking mind” for not respecting a religion. YOU are “out of your fucking mind” for degrading His holy picture. So why don’t you just show some respect and shut your mouth, because we all have the right to believe what we want.

   RAmen.

4. 104 - July 29th, 2008 at - Holly Says:
   
   

   why is that so many of you hate-mailers have not heard of satire??????!!!!

5. 105 - July 29th, 2008 at - seanpboyd Says:
   
   

   Yes, gkerr, our god does have big balls. And he’s proud of them.

   An invisible pink unicorn? That’s just ridiculous. Unicorns aren’t pink.

6. 106 - August 4th, 2008 at - twinmom1120 Says:
   
   

   In resonse to the comment about the FSM resembling testicles and all, I have a joke.

   A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor asks him why he has come. The man replies, “my wife thinks that I am obsessed with sex.” The dr. says, “Okay, let’s do a test.” The dr. takes out a piece of paper and draws two lines next to each other on it and asks the man what it is. The man relies that it is two skinny people having sex. The dr. takes out another piece of paper and this time draws two cirlces next to each other on it and asks the man what it is. He says that it is two fat people and they are having sex. The dr. thinks for a moment and then takes out a third piece of paper upon which he draws a line down the center. He then draws a line to either side of the center line and asks the man what it is. After looking at it for a minute, the man replies, “Well, that big line is a fence and on one side of the fence is a person and on the other side of the fence is a person and they are trying to figure out how to get over the fence to get together to have some sex!” The dr. says, “You’re wife is right — you ARE obsessed with sex!” The man replies, “ME? You’re the one drawing all of the dirty pictures!”

   So, my question for our art expert is — does the FSM really have meat “balls” — or are you just seeing it that way? (must be a Catholic — all of those repressed sexual thoughts and such!) Maybe you could ask your god — he/she may be able to enlighten you.

7. 107 - August 5th, 2008 at - Ubi Dubium Says:
   
   

   @seanpboyd:
   “An invisible pink unicorn? That’s just ridiculous. Unicorns aren’t pink.”
   You are unfamiliar then with her holy hoofiness, the Invisible Pink Unicorn? We know she’s invisible, because we can’t see her. We must have faith that she is pink. There’s just as much proof of her existence as there is for any other god. (More actually. She regularly blesses my laundry with her color, and raptures one sock out of every pair to sock heaven.) When a god-bot claims that we can’t prove their god doesn’t exist, well, they can’t prove the IPU doesn’t exist either. I think she must be a cousin of the great FSM (pesto be upon him.)

   RAmen

8. 108 - August 5th, 2008 at - Lucifer Says:
   
   

   try to see the simularity of the stupidity of these two “religions”

   How about your bible…..

   CULINARY DEPARTMENT
   “…Hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?” –Isaiah 36:12; also in II Kings 18:27.

   The lord commanded: “And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.” –Ezekiel 4:12.

   “And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.” –Levitcus 26:29.

   “And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons, and of thy daughters which the LORD thy god hath given thee…” –Deuteronomy 28:53.

   “So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son.” –2 Kings 6:29.
   JUSTICE
   “When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets; then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.” –Deuteronomy 25:11-12.

   “He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.” –Deuteronomy 23:1.

   “…the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction; and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods (piles) in their secret parts.” –1 Samuel 5:9.

   The lord was appeased, however, after the men had made golden images of their emerods (piles). –1 Samuel 6:4.
   HYGIENE
   The lord promised: “Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall…” –1 Kings 14:10. (This unsanitary practice caused some serious erosion of the mud walls).
   SLAPSTICK COMEDY
   The lord threatened his children: “Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces.” –Malachi 2:3.
   SPORT
   “Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.” –Psalms 137:9.

   “And he (David) brought out the people that were in it and cut them with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes. Even so dealt David with all the cities of the children of Ammon.” –1 Chronicles 20:3.

   “And he (David) brought forth the people that were therein, and put them under saws and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron, and made them pass through the brick-kiln.” –2 Samuel 12:31.

   GRAND OPERA
   “Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kir-haresh.” –Isaiah 16:11.
   SELF IMPROVEMENT
   “…(become) eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake.” –Matthew 19:12. (Origen, Paul and other early Christians faithfully carried out this divine injunction.)

   “Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee: cut them off, and cast them from thee.” –Matthew 18:8.
   BURLESQUE
   God said to Moses: “And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.” –Exodus 33:23.
   LOVE AND MARRIAGE
   “Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.” — Ezekiel 23:19-20.

   “…so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and that they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning…” (She died) –Judges 19:25.

   King Saul asked 100 foreskins in return for his daughter in marriage. David zealously pared off 200 Philistine prepuces to win his bride. –I Samuel 19:25-27.

   “And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto they brother’s wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.” –Genesis 38:8-9.
   BEDTIME STORIES
   The men of Sodom wanted to bugger two angels abiding with Lot. Lot said, “Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known a man; let me, I pray you, bring them unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes.” –Genesis 19:8.

   But the Sodomites preferred male angels. The Lot family escaped; Mrs. Lot looked back, became a pillar of salt; father Lot and daughters fled to a cave, at which time the elder daughter proposed: “Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.” –Genesis 19:32.

   “Thus were both daughters of Lot with child by their father.” –Genesis 19:36.

   Moses told his soldiers: “Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.” –Numbers 31:17-18.
   FULFILLED PROMISES
   Christ demanded: “But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.” –Luke 19:27.

   Christ announced: “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.” –Matthew 10:34.

   “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.” –Exodus 22:18. Thanks to the vigilance of good Christians, witches were killed in great numbers before the year 1712.

   In this “sacred” book of family scandals we find filth, sex orgies, cannibalism, atrocities, sex perversions, incest, bloody violence unparalleled in any other chronicle in all the literature of the world. Fortunately, not one-third of the human family has ever heard of the Christian Bible; not one-tenth of the Christians have ever read it, and no two who have read it agree as to its meaning. Won’t you help get this book out of the hands of our children, out of decent homes, and out of hotel and motel rooms?

9. 109 - August 8th, 2008 at - Turnip Says:
   
   

   Our god has bigger balls than yours does! Take that! All hail the almighty FSM!

   RAmen

10. 110 - August 19th, 2008 at - Denogginizer Says:
    
    

    Dear gkerr,
    Next time you have a free moment, go to the Olive Garden and count all the pervs eating “testicles” w/ “tentacles”. Pretty gross, huh? Also, indignify? Ask yourself if that’s really a word. I’m confident you will find the answer in His Noodley Appendage. RAmen.

11. 111 - August 21st, 2008 at - Matt Says:
    
    

    now I didn’t read all of the replies to this Email, so I may be restating it, but is there not an “ARRRRH” in there. This person is actually under the influence of His Noodliness and does not know it. There’s a pirate in there, i’m quite sure.

12. 112 - August 21st, 2008 at - Liony Goodness Says:
    
    

    I know the FSM is real. I had spaghetti for dinner last night. Fettucini for lunch today and macaroni salad for dinner tonight. Woohoooo carbohydrate overload! I have been touched by his noodly appendage inside and out!

    Ramen

13. 113 - August 28th, 2008 at - jeoykolebob Says:
    
    

    You guys are absolutley positively insane. I have a Chemistry teacher who believes in this stuff and me and my friend could not help but to laugh when we figured out why he is sooooo crazy. Its because he believes in the fsm!!! Even though I am a Christian you guys dont have to make fun of or try to ruin another belief. This is America everybody can believe in what they want to so don’t go making fun of Christians. CHRISTIANITY IS THE REAL DEAL NOT A RELIGION. I feel sorry for all you lost souls out there. I can’t believe this site; its unbelievable! This is probably just for attention and to make people mad. How could anyone believe in this stuff?
    PS You dont have my real e-mail adress :-) MM2

14. 114 - August 29th, 2008 at - A Pittsburgh Pirate Says:
    
    

    Lucifer,

    Your citations remind me of the Martydom of St. Victor (-Monty Python).

    “…yea verily and did their tongues make themselves acquainted (pause) with his most secret places….”

15. 115 - September 29th, 2008 at - Steven Says:
    
    

    First of all, its the perverts that think like that, and second, he’s the retard for believing it.

16. 116 - September 29th, 2008 at - Bx 32 Says:
    
    

    I agree, how can anyone believe in a pink unicorn, that’s ridiculous. Now the FSM, that makes way more sense, and by the way: they’re noodley appendages, not tentacles, pervert. And if you feel sorry for us believing in the FSM, maybe you should take out a calculator and find out how much of your life is being wasted on worshiping a god who supports killing and other inhumane acts in his name. Christianity will always be a religion, what does it even mean for it to be “THE REAL DEAL”?
    RAmen Maytes!

17. 117 - September 30th, 2008 at - sigh Says:
    
    

    1 - at least we know what our god looks like
    2 - I believe you’re the true perv for thing that spaghetti with meatballs looks like testicles
    3 - have you ever heard of a neat little concept called “satire”?

18. 118 - September 30th, 2008 at - sigh Says:
    
    

    and to further my past three points(see comment 117)
    4 - If the unicorn is invisible how do you know that it is pink?
    5 - My faith is that the unicorn is light blue whenever she reveals her true visible form.

19. 119 - October 9th, 2008 at - FSMjr Says:
    
    

    Beware!
    It is I, FSMjr!
    Many of you praise my fathers big balls!
    RAmen to those who do!
    Those who don’t!
    DADDY’s gonna gechta!
    DADDY’s gonna gechta!
    DADDY’s gonna gechta!
    RAmen!

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