Comments on: it’s absolutely fucking amazing

By: Bootstrap

Bootstrap — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 05:07:23 +0000

Oh boy, I thought I would browse the old hate mail, and lookie what I found! I am so compelled to respond to this, and though I doubt the likelihood, deep down I hope you see this.

Alright, let’s chat. First, I’m going to need you to wipe all that foam off your face, which is a direct result of the rabid disease you indubitably contracted from a gofer while you were violently forcing yourself upon it sexually.

Michael, my good man, do you know what hypocrisy is? Let me give you an example: when you take on a religious stance, say that religious people help others, and then wish something completely unhelpful upon someone, like a fist in their ass, you are being a hypocrite.

Really, your violent nature is alarming, I can only assume that such is a result from some deep concealed self loathing you possess. Based upon your numerous rude comments on homosexuality (which this site has nothing to do with whatsoever) one would assume that you are in fact, a closeted homosexual, pressured into hiding and showing hatred towards homosexuality in a futile attempt to make yourself look hetero. As they say, he who smelt it dealt it, or in your case, he who points the finger, likes the finger. But that’s okay, you’ll feel better and we’ll taunt you less if you just man up and put on a skirt.

The creativity you display in violence (and that is the only area where you possess creativity, believe me) shows that you’re prone to being convicted for some heinous crime in the near future, probably a sex crime, probably committed against a family member, probably while crying, and probably at someone’s birthday party.

So in conclusion, feel the love of His Noodly Appendage, for He accepts those of all colors, nationalities, and personal preferences. After all did He not make it so? Do not hate the cum dumpster, but becum (if you will allow that pun) the dumpster, it’s alright with us. Hurry up and convert before you give your cousin a reason to visit the abortion clinic, take long and often unneeded showers, and attain psychiatric care.

May the Sauce Be With You

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By: FSM Follower

FSM Follower — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 15:40:30 +0000

Please define these words for me:
Atheist(Like an Athiest, maybe?)
Relgion
Vegtable
Enoph
Please and Thank You :)

“yeah but religious people are idiots”
he said it, not me.

Is it just me, or are these oxymorons or whatever?
“devoting there life to serving god and helping people.”
“hope that satan himself comes up from hell and fist fucks you while taking bits of your face with a pair of tweezers and actually eating the little bits of face like they are little pieces of sushi…”

I love Christians.

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By: Vade

Vade — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 02:29:09 +0000

‘I literally could have punched my little sister in the head until she became a fucking vegtable and then given her a keyboard and a website and she could have created something wittier than this’,

mmmm. strong, moral christian values there.

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By: Rogue

Rogue — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 02:15:47 +0000

First off, everyone needs to chill out. This is obviously a protest to teach all versions of intelligent design in school if they were going to start teaching Creationism.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster was made up to prove a point. That is there’s more than one version of intelligent design and some are a little more far fetched than others. (Okay…the Spaghetti Monster is REALLY far fetched.)

Anyway, people just need to take a chill pill and learn a lesson from this.

~ Rogue

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By: clay visone

clay visone — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 10:33:34 +0000

“beyond keeping it as just an internet joke (which is bad enoph) by sending that letter to an actual fucking school like it really should be taught”

it amazes me that someone spent that much time looking and didn’t get that the point isn’t that fsm should be taught but that intelligent design shouldn’t be…i just don’t know what to think about that, i mean, that people could be so dense…although with so many examples here i guess it really shouldn’t amaze me too much…lol

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By: CG

CG — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 04:50:27 +0000

Please do not harm your sister

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By: ObscurePasta

ObscurePasta — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 18:56:59 +0000

This website isn’t worth 5 minutes of your life, yet you spent at least 10 minutes writing and trying to correctly punctuate and spell your message, and also you spent the time looking at the website?
So if this is so pointless why did you spend all this time and effort…

Also why do you restort to swearing at us…
Arr, let there be peace amongst us me hearties’
RAmen

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By: Angelfire

Angelfire — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:06:18 +0000

Ahhh but the guy who made this makes money out of this

Yet the pope makes power by confusing poor weak-minded people that there is a god

So your religion is worse really

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By: Lucifer

Lucifer — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:48:34 +0000

I think this is it. We found it. Michael is the missing link. Now Darwin’s theory is complete.

Lucifer

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By: Clemens

Clemens — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 03:51:27 +0000

Why, oh why? Why is it always the religious kooks that are entirely illiterate/dyslexic?

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By: littlemisslucy

littlemisslucy — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 00:45:32 +0000

“I literally hope that satan himself comes up from hell and fist fucks you while taking bits of your face with a pair of tweezers and actually eating the little bits of face like they are little pieces of sushi…”

“I heard it from a friend who is a raging atheist (just like the cock sucker who made this website) and laughed at relgion and they’re beliefs (faggot fucking maker of website) and I was so shocked at how stupid he sounded (cum dumpster maker of the website) that I actually looked it up and found this… I literally could have punched my little sister in the head until she became a fucking vegtable and then given her a keyboard and a website and she could have created something wittier than this.”

Don’t you just love Christians?
Poor thing can’t even spell.

RAmen

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By: Fred

Fred — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 18:55:16 +0000

Religious fanatics are often a self correcting problem, Thanks to applesauce & Kool aid, its a pity this guy missed his departure to the spaceship behind the comet. He also seemed to have missed out on Jim Jones punchbowl. But then again, I suppose they HAD to let a few of David Koreshe’s followers out on good behavior. Lets look on the brought side though, with any luck his sect practices celibacy & castration, like in Heavens gate, & at least the wont be reproducing!!

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By: RiTarDid

RiTarDid — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 17:35:21 +0000

Micheal;
May the One True Creator touch your computer with his Noodly Appendage and bless your keyboard with punctuation marks. RAmen.

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By: TheFewTheProudTheMarinara

TheFewTheProudTheMarinara — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 15:56:42 +0000

Talk about insane gaps! I was reading the “young earth” creationism ideas (They are NOT theories. Scientific theories must stand up to rigorous standards) and it boils down to stuff like:

Then the water which magically appeared and flooded the earth magically disappeared. Noah, his family and all the animals in the world got off the ark. Then a WHOLE BUNCH of magic happened!! Those friendly, vegetarian species like dinosaurs suddenly went extinct – with no mention of them in the bible or elsewhere – or grew canine teeth (ooops! That sound like evolution to me!!). Many of them ran full speed to places around the globe like Australia to get there before the land bridges disappeared.

Species like wolves either evolved (damn, there we go again!) quickly into sub-species and/or they were all represented on the ark, and Artic wolves knew they had to run like hell north, while the “Tasmanian tiger” species started swimming for that one island thousands of miles away.

So there you have an INSANE gap in Creationism, at least the “young earth” branch. Want some more?? Like how in a 6000 year old universe we could now be getting light from galaxies BILLIONS of light years away?

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By: Blue Rogue Pierre

Blue Rogue Pierre — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:33:44 +0000

If them landlubbers at least used either line-breaks OR punctuation.
I be not asking for both.

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By: Pierre

Pierre — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:05:34 +0000

um, it’s “their beliefs” not “they’re beliefs”.

Yes, I’m sure you’re shocked at how stupid WE sound.

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By: Ntcommie

Ntcommie — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 00:07:45 +0000

Sorry, but I don’t feel inclined to believe you just because of your liberal usage of the word “fuck.” Sop being intolerant and go eat pasta.

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By: Redbeard

Redbeard — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:12:25 +0000

@TheFewtheProudTheMarinara

Actually, I understand that the ‘Cretin’-ists believe that the dinosaurs were killed in Noah’s Flood (I guess they missed the boat) and that the reason they ended up in different geological strata is because the more advanced dinosaurs could run faster!

The saddest part of that theory is not that someone made it up, but that a bunch of Cretins actually believe it! My 14-year-old son couldn’t stop laughing when he heard that one. In a sense, it gives me hope for the future of mankind because anyone who could believe such a theory is probably too stupid to feed themselves, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.

Well, unless they had “Abstinence Education” and had a few kids before the end of high school …

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By: TheFewTheProudTheMarinara

TheFewTheProudTheMarinara — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 18:46:56 +0000

I got a real kick out of your statement “insane gaps in evolution”. I’m sure you’re a highly regarded scientist, Michael. Please enlighten us of what huge gaps exist. Or maybe we should go to the Creationist Museum and see children cavorting with friendly dinosaurs who suddenly died for no particular reason and embedded their bodies in geological layers from millions of years past.

Believe in God and the religion of your choice if it comforts you, but anyone who doubts evolution is a deluded nut job, incapable of arguing rationally since they’ll throw away any fact they disagree with.

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By: harsha

harsha — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 11:07:49 +0000

And I think the people I hate more than I hate you are the people who actually pay money for the products you’ve produced in order to sell and make money because you are unemployed and therefore have no income that’s great were giving this prick money to sit on his ass and take pictures of the clouds saying it looks like the flying spaghetti monster… your an idiot.

I suppose you haven’t heard of televangelism. “God came to me in a dream and said he would kill me I I did not raise (insert arbitrary number here)
dollars by Monday.”

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