Simply put your a fuck-nut

Published May 24th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Simply put your a fuck-nut. This icon you have
created will burn for eternity in hell with you. You
soulless bastard child. I know God created me but I
think you were created when a homeless asshole
masturbated into a dumpster and it was hit by
lightning, a little Bobby crawled from the garbage and
would latter fill the heads of children with stupid
SHIT! I hope you chop your dick off so you cant
procreate. I shit on your faith in this delicious
Italian God. I have given up eating spaghetti.
-Thom



193 Responses to “Simply put your a fuck-nut”

  1. jessay says:

    Daww, another super friendly Christian just trying to show how much jeebuz ♥ us. You’re mistaken my fat friend, I see people all the time in Christianity’s merchandise, next time Google search your own rants to make sure their real.. Dumb-ass
    These are the bible verses that I never hear from Christians, probably because they don’t read their bibles and atheists are Christians who know how to read.
    Ephesians 6:5 – Slaves are to worship their masters as Christ rather then man.
    Leviticus 15 – (Direct reference to you) – Women on their periods are unclean and sinful, they must offer sacrifice.
    Deuteronomy 22:24-26 – It’s the woman’s fault if she gets raped.
    There are so many more passages with”questionable” morals, go read your “good” book, and you will be questioning yourself on whether or not haircuts will end you hell. Like when god flooded the earth, what about all the children and infants and fetuses that had no defence, why did they have to die?

    “Ahhh, This book doesn’t have any answers!” -Homer Simpson.

  2. free spirit says:

    Why do “we” refer to FSM as HIM, HIS, He? Can we not have an androgynous (did I spell that right?) creator?
    curious…

  3. DutchMan says:

    This is a strange message indeed. What does Thom mean with delicious Italian God, the pope? Thom is in the wrong, we don’t have faith in rich old guys – otherwise we would be more likely to love Bush sr. Which brings us to bastard children: why does Thom think he’s talking to Bush jr., and why does he call him soulless? (Thom must be a close friend to one of the Georges, actually being allowed to call him Bobby and knowing he has no soul.) And what I don’t get is that Thom says he’s created by some being, which is one moment called God, and the other moment is referred to as a homeless asshole? Thom must be confused, in several ways. Let’s help him out here: Thom, you’re talking to Pastafarians on this site, not Christians.

  4. Seriously Confused says:

    Hahaha. Wow, I had an incredibly difficult time taking this rant seriously. So.. you’re a devout Christian, huh? One who follows the 10 commandments and preaches about love and forgiveness and acceptance? Well, as a Pastafarian i must say that I truly feel loved and accepted by you. It’s no surprise to me that after reading the Bible (assuming of course, that you actually do so) that you are full of ignorance, hypocrisy, and intolerance. I hope that your forgiving God welcomes you into the gates of Heaven with open arms after reading that angry, hate-filled rant towards those of us who aren’t brainwashed by ancient texts that he didn’t even write himself. Have a good after-life.

  5. Blowhizzler says:

    No Spaghetti anymore? You punish yourself.
    What about Noodle or Maccaroni?

  6. Turnip says:

    Is this meant to be satirical of hate mail?

  7. Lisa says:

    His Noodlyness burn in Hell with us? But I don’t like burned Spaghetti!

  8. Jamononon says:

    Doesn’t Jesus teach you to love people, cos that isn’t a particularly loving email!

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