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guidance

Published May 18th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Over lunch, I picked up two Scotch eggs (a British delicacy, as I’m sure you know!). To my surprise, my friends gasped and pointed at my hand. I looked down, and I saw a vision: the FSM had guided my grasp!

Tom O., England

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32 Responses to “guidance”

  1. Skeptical Monkey says:

    Haha, nice. Still doesn’t compare the to Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich or that door that people think is the face of Jesus. It’s a miracle!

    -Ted Goas
    Skeptical Monkey

  2. Noodles are gay says:

    I don’t like your jumper.

  3. Captain Celiac says:

    Help!!!!

    I am allergie to wheat and barley! Seriously! I have been banned from taking holy communion by the catholic church because there you can only eat breat made from real wheat. Will the FSM allow me to have noodles made from rice pasta? Is it possible that the FSM is himseslf made from some type of pasta that is non-allergenice? Help – cause I’m really confused (and hungry). Also, I’m allergic to barley which makes the beer volcano’s dangerous to me unless they are spewing rice beer, in which case I’m totally OK with that and really looking forward to the stripper factory. Are there those brass poles that the strippers do that upside down slide down thingy? I like that alot. Could I ask for a Cider Volcano cause that would be totally cool too and I wouldn’t have to worry about the barley in the beer thing…..Please advise if the holy scriptures shed any light on my situation.

  4. Pope Innocent the 42nd says:

    I dunno. I once ate at this italian restaurant, and EVERY SINGLE DISH THERE RESEMBLED THE FSM!

    Yet more proof! They gasp in awe at one tortilla a year that looks like their god, yet here was an entire restaurant, chock-full of miracles from the FSM!

  5. acrophobic crowsnestling says:

    @ Captain Celiac
    .
    No worries — all noodles be holy. Rice noodles and bean threads be good eatin’, and sake and harrrd cider good drinkin’. The FSM provides for all of her (his?) children. Praised be the FSM.
    .
    RAmen

  6. heynoni says:

    Basically, Captain Celiac, the FSM hates you. Ramen.

  7. Maurog says:

    The holy FSM promotes equality in all things, and all worldly pasta is the material incarnation of His noodly appendages – even rice based and gluten-free varieties. Verily, He loves us all equally and doesn’t disciminate.

  8. Kitt says:

    Tom O. only has four fingers on his left hand?

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