Simply put your a fuck-nut. This icon you have
created will burn for eternity in hell with you. You
soulless bastard child. I know God created me but I
think you were created when a homeless asshole
masturbated into a dumpster and it was hit by
lightning, a little Bobby crawled from the garbage and
would latter fill the heads of children with stupid
SHIT! I hope you chop your dick off so you cant
procreate. I shit on your faith in this delicious
Italian God. I have given up eating spaghetti.
-Thom
Simply put your a fuck-nut
Published by Bobby Henderson May 24th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 188 Comments
188 Responses to “Simply put your a fuck-nut”
St. John, I would put my “a fuck nut” up Thom’s ass, but his head is blocking the entrance…
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What a nice guy, we really should get together for dinner in my dumpster sometime.
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I don’t think putting my fuck-nut here will be quite as simple as you say, Thom…
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I would just like to point out that removing one’s penis does not prevent procreation so long as the individual still has intact testicles. Sperm can likely be sequestered by some means and then used to fertilize an egg.
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A remarkably well put together letter…Given another 20 centuries, we might actually get something readable out of the Christian faith.
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I hope hell is split up into layers like Dante writes. That way I can avoid Thom and his peers and just hang out with the other pagans like Vergil, Ovid, Aristotle, Plato, etc.
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I’m almost sorry that you’ve given up eating Spaghetti…but then I realize you are not worthy of being touched by the Noodly Appendage or any other for that matter.
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Yup, I have to admit, these get more interesting all the time, don’t they? I’m an intermittent site viewer here, but EVERY TIME I see more stupidity posted in these forums… strange….
(p.s. Saint John, if you aren’t already, you should be an English teacher….)
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No! You are.
*cough*
“Pardon me. I took a trip back to my childhood and come up with something on your level. No more replies are necessary as they clearly will not be understood by the angry zealot.”
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christians scare me
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So Funny, words can’t explain how much of a joke religion is.
ramen.
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I’m inclined to agree with Lish on this one. Troll. The sheer stupidity of the wording just screams joke topic.
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dude you totally ripped off kenny vs spenny with that homeless guy jerking off in a dumpster comment if your going to come to this site and insult people at least say something original and you say you “know” god created you your parents created you by having sex you werent sculpted out of clay by an invisible man who lives in the sky what you meant to say is you believe god created you there is a big differance between knowing and believing and as for going to hell thats fine with me who wants to go to heaven if its going to be full of christians
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hahaha… wow… the overly religious… how… entertaining… acting as if he cares so much about children. how many would be put into therapy if they saw this little rant. i personally believe more in the goodness of pasta than of the unseen and the one who “works in mysterious ways”… how mysterious is the christian god? “thou shall not kill” the oldest and most well known testiment, no? Why not look back at the crusades? countless innocent killed… almost every single testiment broken on the way to spread gods “grace”… please… Thom… i hope you like your blind ignorance to your own relgious following… enjoy your bigotry, im sure thats just “wwjd” (what would jesus do) …just for you thom… because im positive you only know profane hate… you did’nt give much more off.
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See, THIS is the reason why I’m ashamed to admit that I’m a Catholic. On behalf of the entire Christian faith, I apologize for the complete and utter stupidity of such an intolerant whelp of a whore. Personally, I think the Flying Spaghetti Monster is pretty badass, even if that’s not what I believe.
And besides, this guy’s probably a Baptist. They don’t like to drink like we Catholics do, which would probably be a good thing, since the stereotypical Baptist doesn’t have very many brain cells to begin with.
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When was the last time we got a hate mail that was not dripping with half-wittedness and misspellings? It appears that your typical hate mailer can’t tell the difference between “your” and “you’re” or “you are”.
Is it perhaps popular and “hip” to sound retarded?
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Whats a fuck-nut ? the vern-noun association is unknown to me. Technically speaking it should be classed as a command, possibly to an overexcited squirrel. Further elucidation is required sirrah
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wats with all the swearing i think thats done a lot more damage than this theory has although this must be a joke right.. well i hope so because i have a major concern for the creators mental health if not.
ash g, ibiza
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Ahhhhh……once again we are awash with the love and tolerance from a representative of the christian faith.
RAmen All
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hell is not a real place
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Thom is right even though I think he spelled his own name wrong. This religion is stupid and homeless masterbation sounds like the proper origin for it.
BlackGoth69
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hello my name is god. and im here to say that i happened to have created a homeless man who then jackked off into a dumpster and made you. your a big douche nozzle and if you don’t shut up talking about made you and i love you and that bullshit. I’m going to drown you in a puddle fuck. Now i;m going to go and eat my saucey goodness because i am in fact made out of spaghetti you dumb ass.
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Thom is a funny name, well THOM i don’t get how a child born of semen and lightning makes you a believer in god, but i for one think it would be cool to be born of lightning, you could be electric, that would be fun, as for filling peoples heads with shit, i don’t see how your god is any more logical
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Seems to me that only a God could create human life by striking sperm in a dumpster with lightning.
Conversely, two (lower) primates mating and creating a baby named Thom, is pretty run of the mill biology, surely God doesnt need to be involved here.
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Here’s one for the fundies out there, since they believe the bible is literally true in all it’s particulars, they believe in the great flood where the deity drowned all but eight people.
I know what they (the fundies) say: They all deserved it. After all, didn’t god have Noah go around looking for righteous men, and promising if he found a few, he (god) would spare all humanity, instead of drowning them?
So it s was cool right? God only drowned the bad people, right?
Well, what about the children. If there were say only 100 million people in the world at the time of the flood, and god killed all but eight of them, then weren’t there also about 30 million children under, say, age 10 among their number?
Did those kids deserve to drown like rats. because their parents were disgusting to god?
That’s the being that the fundies are worshipping. Now tell me the fundies aren’t very different from all the rest of us.
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It’s funny because I could probably go and kill 4 people on purpose in cold blood and still have more of a chance of getting into Heaven (if such a place exists) than you.
Judging by how messed up you are to actually go to the trouble of writing such a weird hate-fuelled post. If it wasn’t a joke. Which I seriously hope it is. But would not be surprised if it isn’t..
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Hey!! Hey look over on that map thingy on the right, the one on the very bottom.. ya lookin’? ‘k GOOD, you see that lonely little dot in south america? LOOK AT IT!!! do you see it?? THAT’S MEE.
And, by the way, I’ve read two topics in which alleged “hate mail” is posted. In both cases it’s pretty obvious that neither is actually hate mail, both are made with a clear trolling intent and, apparently, both where made by people of the community.
The idea that you would fabricate your own hate mail is extremely lame and suggests that some of you thrive on the supposed controversy that the FSM brings up. Which is really too bad considering the validity of the point that’s being made… Seriously the idea that someone would fabricate an attack on themselves to have someone to call stupid, thus validating their own position, just seems stupid and wrong. A bit sad too.
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whats the point of this hate mail why would you actualy bother writing hate mail its a really big waste of time plus you would have to look for pastafarianism.
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Sorry neal, there were a whole lot less than 100 million people around at the time of the alleged flood, a whole lot less. World population can’t have been more than a couple of million. However – even funnier, just 8 people survived huh (and they were related by blood) ? Well according to genetics they would have died out in just a few generations – too small a gene pool. There would have been some horrific inbreeding then death….
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Im pretty sure it was spaghetti that gave up being eaten by you, we are peaceful and it is asswipes like you that should stop procreating to shove a religion starring a sadistic incest freak down their throats.
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The answer to the question “What is a fuck-nut?” Well – that is the part that gets screwed onto the top of a fuck-head. It’s usually a good substitute for a right wing-nut. I’m just saying. Ramen.
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God may have created you……
either on purpose or as a result of a sudden sneeze.
Peace and pass the parmesan.
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I kind of think this was just a troll. I doubt anyone who was really serius would write the last two lines
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Brainless twit. I bet he gets really mad and yells at the TV when his guy doesn’t win wrestlemaina.
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Wow, thats, just wow. you need a life. i think all this hate is just cuz they wish that theyre god was as awesome and cool as the flying spaghetti monster. Because the FSM never killed anybody, didnt start any wars and is just plain awesome!
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I don’t wanna go to heaven…heaven is full of people who do not know how to have fuuuun, and I do not want to go to hell because hell is way too hot for me…
I think I preffer a little place right next that awesome beer volcano…and a sit in front of the stripper factory…
I love pasta…I think I will have some nachos tonight…mmmm nachos…
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Your story of Bob’s ‘creation’ sounds like the birth of a homeless superhero, maybe Hancock.
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i like the bit where he denies a creationist god
“I know God created me but I
think you were created when a homeless asshole
masturbated into a dumpster and it was hit by
lightning”
hey ho, may you be blessed by his noodly might
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Thank “god” for pastafarianism.
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I agree that this appears to be a troll. The standard of basic diction and spelling is almost up to public school level and far ahead of home-schooled god-botherers.
RAmen
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bad grammar, why should i care what they have to say? talking about homeless spooge in a dumpster. i wont fret about these people, im just waiting for the coming of the garlic bread. ramen!
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Grammar just cried, again.
RAmen!
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@Al. So I guess god only drowned around 600,000 kids in the great flood. I wonder how many puppies and kittens would have been drowned as well. Anyone have an estimate of their population around the time of Noah?
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I love how he’s obviously seems to hate us Pastafarians so much, yet still refers to FSM as a “delicious Italian God”.
Obviously he has been secretly touched by his noodly appendages.
RAmen
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Aren’t Christians lovely
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Wow. FSM must be real. It has brought unto our heads the hatred that only true religion can provide.
I bow my head in semolinic deference. . . into a plate of pesto.
RAmen
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@ Neal – somewhere on the net I found a neat bar-chart showing that in the bible god killed 2,038,344 people and Satan killed 10. Can’t find it again now.
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@ Neal – found that bar-chart now.
digg.com/odd_stuff/Who_killed_more_people_in_the_Bible_image
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did your god teach you all those words, too? The Noodly One considers it creativity, but i’m sure your god would consider it something along the lines of blasphemy… my condolences.
RAmen
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Yet another Christian with a way with words…
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