Simply put your a fuck-nut. This icon you have
created will burn for eternity in hell with you. You
soulless bastard child. I know God created me but I
think you were created when a homeless asshole
masturbated into a dumpster and it was hit by
lightning, a little Bobby crawled from the garbage and
would latter fill the heads of children with stupid
SHIT! I hope you chop your dick off so you cant
procreate. I shit on your faith in this delicious
Italian God. I have given up eating spaghetti.
-Thom
Simply put your a fuck-nut
Published by Bobby Henderson May 24th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 188 Comments
188 Responses to “Simply put your a fuck-nut”
This must be the “turn the other cheek” thing that is so big with the Christians, ya think?
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Such fathomless Christian love, tolerance, and brotherhood from Thom! Just imagine spending eternity with him… (Would make a painful Hell of fire, brimestone, and torture an absolute joy).
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Persecution proves we’re on the path His Noodly Appendage means to guide us to. Arrrr!
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Always nice to see how the opposition responds with sound, thought-out responses. More spaghetti for us…
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what is wrong with you? the FSM is a joke its for freedom of speech and if you don’t believe in freedom then go back to your muslem neo-Nazi home in Iraq
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and i’m sure that your god will appreciate this beautiful letter.
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“I shit on your faith in this delicious Italian God.”
That’s only slightly disgusting, not to mention poorly worded and grammatically incorrect.
So sad to hear you’re giving up eating spaghetti. You’ll soon find it’s difficult to avoid it.
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I love how he has no qualms about saying we’ll burn in hell for our religion, while simultaneously breaking the tenets of his own by swearing left and right.
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I love how he has no qualms about saying we’ll burn in hell for all eternity for our religion, while simultaneously breaking the tenets of his own by swearing left and right.
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Lol @ lack of sense of humor.
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Ramen.
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someone is a good Christian =O
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Eugh, i sincerly hope thom doesnt equal thomas..that idiot has ruined my perfectly good name if so.
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Arr! Ye be makin no sense!
1) Ye believe that yer gosh made all men.
2) Ye say that Bobby was made “when a homeless asshole masturbated into a dumpster and it was hit by lightning”.
Ergo, ye believe yer gosh is a “homeless asshole”?
I won’t even go into yer obvious issues about the homeless. Poor Thom, scared o’ tem can collectors? Give ye th’ cobbly-wobbles do they?
And once again, thank ye fer provin our crew to be classy and right, and ye crew to be incompetent dipwits.
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Lulz, no stupider shit than that which the christianity fills the childrens’ heads with and promotes. You’re an obvious testament that. Assuming your theory is true, wouldn’t that have all been part of god’s divine plan? I don’t think Jebus would approve of you blasting someone for something which is his dad’s fault to begin with. I don’t think he would approve of mentally retarded hate rants either. Oh well.
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Lollll, no stupider shit than that which the christianity fills the childrens’ heads with and promotes. You’re an obvious testament that. Assuming your theory is true, wouldn’t that have all been part of god’s divine plan? I don’t think Jebus would approve of you blasting someone for something which is his dad’s fault to begin with. I don’t think he would approve of mentally retarded hate rants either. Oh well.
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Lulz, no stupider s*** than that which the christianity fills the childrens’ heads with and promotes. You’re an obvious testament that. Assuming your theory is true, wouldn’t that have all been part of god’s divine plan? I don’t think Jebus would approve of you blasting someone for something which is his dad’s fault to begin with. I don’t think he would approve of mentally retarded hate rants either. Oh well.
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Now, why are the angriest ones also the stupidest? First of all, it’s “you’re” not “your”, but why can’t you put all of that “creativity” and energy into examining your own faith? You’re the ones who believe that you need to wash babies because thousands of years ago, a rib woman was tricked into eating from a magic tree by a talking snake. That’s exactly what babtism and “original sin” are… silly, antiquated traditions and ideas dreamed up by superstitious bronze-age tribesmen.
Scott
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christians… so hostile and dont see the point…. may his noodley appendage touch you and make u see the sauce… Ramen
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I don’t understand why our fellow theists are so hostile toward us. I really don’t. They seem to hate us even more than they hate atheists.
It’s almost as if it is more important to believe in the right god than to believe in a god.
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And yet another loving Christian.
Judge not, and you’re pretty sexy when you’re mad, Thom.
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Simply put, you’re terrible when it comes to writing.
What’s amazing about this is you hurt your own cause. You just reaffirmed my belief that there is no argument against our God that uses logic, not to mention a mastery of the english language any beyond that of a 3rd grader..
Have a wonderful day Thom.
How do you “know” God created you?
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I’m prettty sure that this hate mail is a troll, prolly another fellow pastafarian looking for some lulz. Especially with the last line, that just screams of trolling. I doubt that this is an angry Christian. :P
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“Simply put your a fuck-nut.”
.
Simply put my a fuck-nut where?
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Sentence Fragments
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What exactly is a fuck-nut? Unfortunately for us, you were created by your parents. We will not hold it against you that they are brother and sister. With therapy I am sure you will recover and learn to savor in the noodly goodness and dance among the strippers.
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I am starting to wonder if we do have any genuine hate male comming now adays……
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I love when people who failed 4th grade grammar insult a group with different beliefs while putting BME pain olympics and biblical ideals in the same sentence.
More so when it makes them give up something as awesome as pasta.
Also I love the part where you become truly jesuit and accept our differences.
I salute you Thom, for your lack of basic grammar and knowledge of your own religion.
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wow. i just googled “flying spaghetti monster” and I find this awesome site! “oh, hate mail! this oughta be good for a quick larf” says I. my gracious…
does anyone else find it slighty ironic that people claiming to be members of a religion that teaches love, clean living, brotherhood, and acceptance (christians) are the very same people that are writing threatening, violent, vulgar, and flat out offensive comments on this site?
if i needed DEFINITIVE proof that i made the right decision to completely give up religion in any way, shape, or form, i have definitely found what i am looking for on these hate mail pages. i am very proud to say that i have nothing in common with people that write such intollerent comments about an obviously light-hearted jab at organized religion.
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“but I
think you were created when a homeless asshole
masturbated into a dumpster and it was hit by
lightning,”
.
HEY! MY BIRTH RECORDS ARE MEANT TO BE PRIVATE!
.
And at least i’ll have something to eat in “hell”, Thom. You’ll be starving. ;)
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Thom – If your beliefs are so threatened by satire that doesn’t actually name your beliefs and is satire of many other magical belief systems then is it time to question whether those beliefs stand up to serious scrutiny?
You could for example tell me that the law of gravity was silly and wrong and parody it in the most outrageous terms but I would still not imagine I can fly or be in the slightest worried by you expressing your right to free speech.
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AH, the beauties of an indoctrinated mind. Thom, you are displaying all the traits and moral ‘flexibility’ of a wonderful terrorist. The sheer hatred of another God you demonstrate in your letter is just the quality certain organizations are looking for. I don’t know about others, but ever since I became a boiled again Pastafarian, the one thing I am learning everyday, is that there is no person more hell-bent on death and persecution than a good Christian? Anybody agree? Oh and Thom, you KNOW nothing, just like we KNOW nothing. You just BELIEVE God made you as we BELIEVE the FSM made us.
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Simply put learn grammar you idiot.
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In reading many of the posts of these non-Noodlers, I would be interested in the results of a scientific study that would posit a relationship between the lack of mental discipline it takes to construct a clear, grammatically correct statement (without referencing excrement or sexual preference, preferably) and the lack of mental discipline it takes to rationally contemplate our existence.
Is there a correlation? I propose that we divert a small portion of our resources from our efforts to prove the inverse relationship between global warming and the number of pirates (after all, that is a “gimme”).
RAmen
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mmm… fuck-nuts… What do they taste like? Anyone know?
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Thom thinks that Pastafarianism is “SHIT”, but by his own admission, he “think[s]” that people can be created when lightning hits semen in a garbage dumpster. Shoot, we have to teach this theory in science classes now, too! Like President Bush says, “part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought.” Where can I get a dumpster fish for my car? Preferably with lightning bolt and sperm.
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Just noticed the title of this page at the top of my browser.
“Simply put your a fuck-nut at Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”
That’s a great slogan, if you read it in an exaggerated Chico Marx faux Italian accent.
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Another failure of those ten wise things some wacko once said on a mountain. Really you christians should focus more on that part than getting your psalms right on sundays. And thank His Noodly Leader he didn’t finished the letter with god bless america. By the way a good day to you thom, you right-wing reactionairy hillbillyfuckup.
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“I think you were created when a homeless asshole masturbated into a dumpster and it was hit by
lightning”
.
It’s a miracle! FSM bless us all…
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i dont understand why he had to abandon eating pasta?
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For a moment, I thought someone had nicked my name, and it was a fundy!
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So is bad grammar and a complete disregard for Christianity a Christian trait? Seems to be.
Here’s the difference with FSM: we have our beliefs, and stick with them. Christians forget their supposed values when it is convenient for them. Then they wonder why we dont subscribe to it.
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So the Christian God is a homeless man who masturbates into lightning-frequented dumpsters?
Now that’s mnemonics at its best!
And since the FSM is capable of burning in hell, you admit he is real.
Ergo, if FSM is real, God isn’t…
so you’ve proved us to be right!
Excellent, lovely, cheerio! I need to get on my horse and proclaim the good news to the innocent and docile badgers and beavers that reside with me in my psych ward.
Enjoy your cardboard crackers. I’ll enjoy my pasta, and the share you gave up.
Love, Pontus
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I love this kind of hate mail, it’s so funny! RAmen
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Hi Thom. My name is Phoenix – and here is my Response to your thoughts.
I discovered this SFM business within the last 30 minutes – but am intrigued enough to stumble accross this message, and feel compelled to put in my 2 cents. Let’s go over what you said now shall we, bit by bit (Don’t wanna ‘clump’ too much data – might confuse)
You said: “Simply put your a fuck-nut. This icon you have
created will burn for eternity in hell with you.”
I say: Well, for one, Thom – Why do you feel it is necesarry to wish Bobby a sentence in hell, alongside ‘his icon’? Bobby has a way of thinking – as do us all – and he shared his perspective with the world. Now it is not Bobby’s fault that people listened, related, and decided to turn the Flying Spaghetti Monster into an Icon? Bobby did not Impose his beliefs – but simply put them up on the shelf, alongside all the other products of faith, knowledge, and wisdom. Most other religions, from what I have sampelled thus far, do everything but. Constantly, I have people pushing there views into my face – and explaining the nasty concenquences of my actions or lack of.
We are told we’ll go to hell for not worshipping something which could only be believed in by a rational, logical, mentally-ballanced person, if he or she was to overdose on LSD and fall into a permanent state of dillusion. Even you, with your message, definitely does NOT support the views of your faith. Rememebr ‘free will’, and the whole thing about how God is meant to be shared, but not forced? Well now you are condemning an innocent man for putting forward another way of thinking, Formally-Politely-and-Rationally, and for sparking a movement which IS much easier for a half-intelligent man to fall into Without even Touching the micro-dots.
You sound like another self-deluded idiot who has taken sides with something for that sense of power, security, or purpose – but if burning the notion of Freedom of Thought is part of your cause – then you will most liekly find yourself laying in the depths of your own hell – if you are not there right now (which would explain the attitude)
You said: “You soulless bastard child. I know God created me but I
think you were created when a homeless asshole
masturbated into a dumpster and it was hit by
lightning, a little Bobby crawled from the garbage and
would latter fill the heads of children with stupid
SHIT! I hope you chop your dick off so you cant
procreate. I shit on your faith in this delicious
Italian God. I have given up eating spaghetti.
-Thom”
I say: “Well.. I don’t think much needs to be said here… In fact, why the fuck have I bothered spending five minutes on such an imbosile (ekscuse the spelling)- But somebody who posted above does push the good point – how do you ‘Know’ you were born? If facts were a part of religion, then said religion would not require ‘Faith’, but ‘Opinion’.
And the concept of the FSM is rather simple.. The Flying Spaghetti Monster explains that it is what ever the consumer makes of it – as long as the cuase is for bettering the world. If by offering freedom of thought and flexibility, for the Good Cause, is an evil thing – Then perhaps you don’t Deserve to eat spaghetti.
And it is that simple. Thankyou.
~Phoenix~
Woman: “Is it a Bird?”
Man “Is it a Plane?”
Bystander “No – It’s the Flying Spaghetti Monster!… how the fuck does that look Anything, like a Plane?…. or a bird?.. MAN we’ve got some stupid people in this world”
**Christian approaches with Box of Bibles**
Christian “Would you like a Free Bible Sir? It’s the Latest Edition?”
**Bystander stares at man. Turns. Walk away**
“Like I need any more Evidence”
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Tom,
Learn how to spell your name frist, then work on the grammar and punctuation.
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a friend of mine let me glance through the Christopher Hitchens’ book “God is not Great”. Although I don’t agree with everything he says; and I haven’t read all of it; gotta buy a copy; it raises one particularly important point. On the seventh day God rested. So what did he do on the eighth? Well Thom, he either fucked off or made idiots like you.
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I agree… they probably wanted to provoke a response :P
‘I shit on your faith in this delicious Italian God’
If I had to hazard a guess, I would even say they were a b3tan, or at least frequented SomethingAwful, or similar.
Twirly dough-based love xx
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hey u fuck-a-nut or whatever… are you talking about ur self or something? cause based on all the shit u wrote, i think ur facing a little denial…maybe you should talk to someone about ur story, instead of saying someone else faced that
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This may be a revelation! Is it possible the tree in the original drawing is a fucknut tree?
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It’s great to know that there are such open-minded people out there…
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