wtf this is a bunch of bullshit. why would you believe in spaghetti creating man?? and why would heaven have beer and strippers??? this is shit. some guy just randomly thought: “oh spaghetti is so good. it must be god.” i mean what the fuck?! jesus is real and i dont care what you guys think. you deny him, you’ll all burn in hell for eternity. so have fun!!
-JIR
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Christianity is the Belief that A Cosmic jewish Zombie, Will Save you from An eternity of yourself if you Symbolically Eat His Flesh and drink his blood, then telepathicaly Tell him you accept him as your lord and savior..
Yeah.. Your Religion makes MUCH more sense.. i think i’ll go Follow The Jew-zombie Now. NOT!
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Why is it much more believable that a guy who looks like everyone created Earth? Do you talk like Jews to this too you faggot. Do you talk like this to anyone like this who isn’t Christian? Asswipe. This is a joke religion, made to protest ID.
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JIR, whom ever you might be, I have a question for you. Why do you believe in Jesus? I mean, is that anymore plausible than a flying ball of spaghetti? is a heaven with angels and clouds and stuff all that more believable than a heaven with a beer volcano and a stripper factory? Oh, and by the way, in your religion, all of the sluts will be down there, so wouldn’t you want to be there instead, even if it is a little warmer?
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Burn in hell? Meh, whatever. There’s still beer and strippers in hell (even if they’re flawed).
Anyway, how do you know Jesus isn’t a Purple Scuba-Potato?
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Frunk: You are an apostate and heretic and must be burned at the stake!
Oops, sorry … flashback to my early Catholic conditioning there … But, dude, you’ll totally miss out on the beer volcano and the strippers!
There’s still time to accept the FSM into your major blood-pumping organ! Or your kidney, if you have one that’s unoccupied by any other deity at the moment.
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except the FSM and drink from the beer volcano with us!
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i love hell. ive been there! twice actually. Get a condo on the beach tho…inland communities tend to be a little scortching!
hahaha better than living like a slave!
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wow, smooth move there…
*accept… heh
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I have a problem with the whole “burn in hell” for eternity thing.
If your god is so vain that he’d endlessly torture those who didn’t worship
(or even never heard of) him, why doesn’t he show himself?
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there is beer and strippers in heaven because they are good… duh
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Hell sounds better that quite a few holidays I’ve had. You might want to rethink what you are believing in before you mock other religions. I think you will find that yours is easily the most ridiculous of them all.
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The funniest thing about all the hate posts is that anyone would actually have a low enough IQ to take all of this seriously. I take it as seriously as all other religions, which is to say, not at all. The big difference here is that FSM is fun and does not hurt anyone and does not practice intolerance. Religion is the bane of humankind. If parents would not pass down the myths to their children, it would take only one generation to eradicate all religion from the world. That’s how tenuous all religions are. Spaghetti, however will live on!
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To jeremykeys:
No I dont hell has limbo :(
Because I think limbo already has limbo, and well, limbo just cant be everywhere. Sadly.
R’Amen.
(p.s. JIR is a total dick! :D)
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To “JIR”,
Wouldnt it be nice if u could go through life without having to say this… “I have to do this, live like this, BELIEVE THIS, or i will burn in a hell for eternity for my sins”
let go of ur fear of the unknown JIR and im telling u… ur life will be all the better… and im certain if u sit down and think about ur faith in jesus christ logically… without being afraid of ur sinful thoughts… that ull come up with logical answer that many of us who frequent this website have already accepted and implicate into our lives… THIS LIFE IS MY GIFT AND I WILL LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST WITHOUT BEING AFRAID OF THE CONSEQUENCES!
lol oh and if heaven doesnt have beer and strippers then i refuse to go!
PROST!
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I love how the people who claim to be the biggest Christians are wishing that people “go fuck themselves” and “burn in hell” that doesnt sound jesus like to me…but who knows. Blessed are those who bathe in his sauce lol.
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So… If Jebus the Jew and all us pastafarians aren’t christians like you, doesn’t that mean that if any of us “…burn in hell for eternity…” we’ll meet your god Jebus christ down there?
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And you’ll burn in the hell made by the FSM.
RAmen.
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I have a difficult time believing any of these”hate” posts were written by actual Christians. If they have been it’s quite sad and I apologize.
This site is proposing what’s called a proof by example. Assertion: Christianity is a ridiculous belief system.
Proof: I can create a parallel “faith” and pass it off as just as likely a Christianity.
That is the purpose of your “satire” correct? I mean none of you “FSM worshipers” here have actually had an encounter with the FSM have you? I mean you can say what ever you wish about religion but are you calling everyone at all times and all places Liars? Are you saying that everyone who had a religious experience was “faking” it like you are obviously “faking” your religious “experiences”? Unless you are willing to say that ALL religious experiences at all times and all places are based upon obvious “fake” experiences than right off the bat the proof by example is not parallel to Christianity or any other religion for that matter.
Lets take it one more step and then I’ll stop.
Are you willing to put your money where your mouth is? Are you willing to die for your FSM? Are you willing be burned alive; torn apart by animals? Are you willing to allow you bodies to be mutilated because you are supposed to dress like a pirate? For crying out loud Hindi are willing to not eat cows because of their faith.
So here are two very tiny differences right out of the starting block between your FSM and any other belief system honestly held. Right off the bat this is poor use of logic and poor use of reasoning Hardly befitting those who claim to hold Reason as the highest standard.
Satire to be truly funny has to have an element of truthfulness. The only element of truthfulness here is that you truly believe this has some kind of relevance to honestly held belief.
You see a belief system is a bit more complicated than… hey I just thought this up one day. As atheists your supposed to hold to Reason and Science as the highest order. This pitiful employment of logic and 3rd grader reasoning is hardly sterling evidence of the strength of your position. As for me… I would say any belief system that people honestly hold even to death is worthy of respect.
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Oh yeah, because you and your nice clean language and obvious total devotion to jesus is totally cristian… riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. AND POOR GOD–NO STRIPPERS OR BEER??? No wonder church is so dreary…
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The religion of “love.”
It’s great to see how truly caring they are.
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Hey, we don’t criticise your unbelievable religion. At least there’s a chance that the FSM exists.
Also, uh, I take it that you’re religious in some way (or else you wouldn’t be wasting your time posting here), and the last time I checked profanity was a sin.
So… it looks like “you’ll burn in hell for eternity. so have fun!!”
Wanker.
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Its interesting that Jews should come up in this, I just realized why all this hate-mail sounded familiar. Its come from every arrogant Born-Again prick I’ve had the misfortune to meet. The Phrase “Burn in Hell” has a way of springing up.
Why does heaven have beer and strippers? Simple, His Noodletudes subjects enjoy them, and having served Him, He sees fit to reward them.
I’d take that over fire and brimstone, harps and angels any day.
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Oh come one. Our God has larger balls and is funnier than yours.
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
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Dear Mike,
You (my noodly pal) have completely and utterly missed the entire point of the site.
Completely and utterly. Missed. The point. Entirely.
Please (re)read the open letter and the raison d’etre of the site.
Then comment if the mood strikes you.
cheers
COM
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Mike… Thank you for at least posting something worth reading, but please, don’t preach to us about logic.
You expect us to believe LOGICALLY that Noah lived for hundreds of years, built an arc big enough to hold two of every animal on the planet, managed to round up animals in Australia and the Americas, managed to keep these animals from eating each other on the boat during the flood, and then repopulated the entire world without any inbreeding… Come on, you cant talk about logic here.
And yes, we do believe that FSM satire is funny. Just as funny as the idea of Intelligent Design being taught in a SCIENCE CLASS!
As for your comment concerning the strength of our faith, you are correct in saying that we wouldn’t want to die for the FSM. The reason is obvious, he is fake. Would you die for something fake? … Well then again, maybe thats where our atheist reason and science comes in.
Now if you had asked if we would be willing to die for what the FSM STANDS for, then the answer is YES. What we fight for is more important than our individual lives because if society came to a point where something as absolutely ridiculous as ID is taught in schools, then there will be absolute anarchy throughout the world.
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@Mike:
“Unless you are willing to say that ALL religious experiences at all times and all places are based upon obvious “fake” experiences than right off the bat the proof by example is not parallel to Christianity or any other religion for that matter.”
.
There is no evidence to show our religious experiences aren’t just as real as any others! We have a holy book, chosen people, holidays, everything. Just because it’s silly does not mean it can be more easily disproved than any other religion. And would you claim that people of other religions you don’t follow are lying about their claimed experiences with their gods? Or would you say they are deluding themselves?
.
“Are you willing to die for your FSM? Are you willing be burned alive; torn apart by animals? Are you willing to allow you bodies to be mutilated because you are supposed to dress like a pirate? ”
.
Why in FSM’s name would we want to do that? The FSM, unlike the biblical god, is benevolent. He does not require any kind of sacrifices. Why does the fact that a religion extols martyrdom make it more likely to be true? Islam glorifies dying for your beliefs, and for that matter, so did the Aztec religion. I’m betting you don’t follow either of those.
.
“As atheists your supposed to hold to Reason and Science as the highest order.”
.
Who says all Pastafarians are Atheists? His Noodlyness (pesto be upon him) opens his appendages to all! To quote the Gospel: Try it for 30 days – if you are not satisfied, your god will probably take you back (unless you’re a Jain, then you’re pretty much screwed). And what do reason and science have to do with religion? Nothing! – That’s really our point here, isn’t it?
.
RAmen
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Bwaaa haaa…It never ceases to amaze me how they all repeat their own fairytale, laugh at it or damn it to hell but still don’t get it. Oh, the irony…
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@Mike
“I would say any belief system that people honestly hold even to death is worthy of respect.”
You respect Islamic extremist suicide bombers? Your head is in a very dark place surrounded by a sphincter.
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@Mike
I don’t think all religious experiences have been “faked” (although many have), I think people just misinterpret natural phenomena as supernatural. But that’s actually beside the point – this movement was started specifically to point out the fallacies of Intelligent Design, which was contrived for the sole purpose of getting creationism taught in public science classrooms. ID actually is a fake science, and should be given no more credence than any other obviously fake theory (not that pastafarianism is fake, of course). Now I have a question for you: do you think the beliefs of Nazis and suicide cults are worthy of respect? To my mind, willingness of die for a belief is the first step to willingness to kill for a belief, and I have no respect for that kind of behavior. But I do thank you for treating us like rational human beings, and I hope you are not called upon to die for your god any time soon RAmen.
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Some of you folks take life waaaaay too seriously. May you be whapped by a noodley appendage, and thus be reborn human, tolerant and funnier!!
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Why wouldn’t heaven have strippers and beer? That’s the real question.
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I would like to focus this segment on the question, “Why would Heaven have beer and strippers?” He who asks this, summarily smack thyself. That basically sounds like Heaven to me.
Secondarily, get a sense of humor, bra.
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What is it with christians and telling people to burn in hell? You know thats blastfamous, don’t you? You will burn in hell for putting yourself at the dame level of your god, by judgeing people to hell.
- An atheist is a Christian who has acually read the bible.
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I think southpark said it best with the “All About the Mormons” song, dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
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Ubi Dubium
Seriously love your paragraph breaks.
Serious!
RAmen
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The three things I love most is: 1) How angry the Christians get 2) How obvious they make it that, deep down, the only reason they “believe” at all is from a total fear of going to Hell, as if that alone is enough to verify the existence of God 3) Their punctuation and grammar.
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Ha ha, I put my foot in my mouth a little bit.
edit: The three things I love most ARE:
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If heaven had no strippers or no beer, would it still be heaven?
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Show me a map to hell the I’ll believe you. Don’t you dare point down.
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Good thing you corrected your grammar, “Oh, boy”. We were beginning to think you were a Xtian in disguise and were thinking of making you walk the plank.
Seriously, why are 98% of the protesters to this site semi-literate? Is it because they’re 12 and flunking 7 grade English or 32 and never made it to 7th grade? Or are some of the pirate crew here posing as land-lubbers for sport?
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Okay. I will! Thanks.
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tee hee. your righteous anger is funny.
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wtf this is a bunch of bullshit. why would you believe in spaghetti creating man?? and why would heaven have beer and strippers??? this is shit. some guy just randomly thought: “oh spaghetti is so good. it must be god.” i mean what the fuck?! jesus is real and i dont care what you guys think. you deny him, you’ll all burn in hell for eternity. so have fun!!
-JIR
ok 1 why not believe in spaghetti as a god? 2 why would heaven not have beer and strippers heavens great and those are great 3 yes jesus was real and we know that he was a deranged prophet that was nailed to a cross by pagen romans and left there to rot
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but doesnt god love all his children??? haha!!! love this sight! LOVE THIS RELIGION!!!!!
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