WHO EVER MADE THIS CHRUCH IS A COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER WHO IS GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAY BE A CHRISTIAN, IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE, BUT A FUCKING FLYING SPEGETTI MONSTER IS JUST FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!1
-ihabd
You ‘may’ be a christian. Or you ‘may’ not.
Judging from your email, I’d bet me pirate dubloons on ‘NOT’.
For an alleged christian, you sure are filled with a lot of hate.
No funnier than a man having to bleed to death to save humanity from two naked people eating an apple given to them by a talking snake.
.
You might actually wanna READ the bible.
Glad to hear you get the joke.
Why is it so many christians can’t find the caps lock and turn it off? (or the dictionary for that matter)
Quote “IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE”, that oxymoron is going to keep me laughing all day.
:)
Yes, I think the hilarity is part of it. Well spotted Sir!
we are going to burn in hell for making you laugh huh?
Whoa all caps! This guy must be serious. You know, that doesn’t sound very Christian of you to say something like that, I thought you guys were all about mercy and forgiving.
They only CALL it spaghetti because it LOOKS LIKE spaghetti. Kinda like the burning bush… it wasn’t REALLY a burning bush… it just looked like one.
What it REALLY is is a hyper intelligent alien.. what you are seeing is its eyestalks, its intestines (which look like spaghetti to the untrained eye), and it’s two giant brains. It’s much more intelligent than any human could be.
So there.
The words of a true Christian.
So you are not sure if you are a christian??
“IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE” (sic)
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Religions that makes sense? You’ve never examined religions honestly if you think there’s such a thing. CoFSM is no more ridiculous than (insert religion of choice). Seriously, step back and take a real look at them.
.
OEJ
And of course writing an email full of obscenities in all capital letters is going to convince us all that we are heathens who need to be saved…
I, say, old man, steady on! Jolly rude words and all that, what? Some of the activities you mention sound positively naughty. Have a cup of tea and simmer down.
WELL FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON
Um… What is a CHRUCH? What is SPEGETTI? Are you ignorant? YES! The idea that Jesus killed 2000 pigs, is that funny? no? well he did it. Your religion is intentionally disgusting and unintentionally hilarious at the same time!
Though this is probably fake. What is a Chruch? and did the internet send you? I believe grade school missed its mark on this young lad. Or did it? ooooooo
May you one day be touched by his noodly appendage
Ramen.
Thats the point, were using a “religion” to point out the flaws in other religions.
burn in hell forever¡¡¡¡ that’s good¡¡,i like hot things,Cacique rum,mondongo boiled and venezuelan women¡.
What religions, including Christianity make sense? Either you have been in the sun to long or you drank to much of the wrong Kool-aid.
ihabd; First, we’d all like for you to define “chruch,” but that’s beside the point.
Thanks, it is hilarious (and the one true way). If you wish to continue with your zombie worship cult (Christianity), that’s ok by us, and FTM will probably not burn you, or anything cruel and unusual like that. If you want to join the Pastafarians in carbo-enlightenment, we will welcome you.
I move that we temporarily change the logo to swap chruch for church.
Do you pray with that same brain that just produced all those obscenities? Your mother should wash your cranium out with soap!
.
Really - what you say, or post, is a reflection of what is going on inside your head. So - if your communication is full of phrases like (kids, close your eyes!) “COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER WHO IS GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, then that would suggest to me that you spend much of your time thinking about just those sorts of things. Pity. Such a waste of a mind.
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Oh, and I love your creative spelling of “CHRUCH”! What a wonderful word! It combines “church” and “crutch” together, just as they should be! I’m going to remember that one.
.
RAmen
Henderknob again?
The wielder of the holy head bashing pipe?
Hmmm… a “heaven” full of you Nazis or a hell full of real people WITH intelligence…
You can’t use grammar, you can’t spell, and you can’t abide anyone that doesn’t share your fantasies about the Sun of God (Used to just be the Sun God, then Horus, then Je-sus) You christians that just keep stealing other religions to add to yours… You stole the Jewish God, then you added Horus renamed as Jesus, then you took the Roman Holiday Saturnalia (December 25) and now you are eyeballing the next big religion on the horizon. Next you will say it was Jesus eating pasta at the last supper. And don’t think we haven’t noticed your christian imitations of our classical art depicting the FSM… Really, how is anyone supposed to believe in a flying MAN? You need the uplifting effect of pasta appendages, naturally!
I’m not sure if you finally clued in at the end or not… you seem to realize the hilarity of a parody, but knowing you… you just failed to communicate again.
Really… you are an 8 year old on daddy’s computer, aren’t you? If he catches you using those holy words he’ll tan your bottom with “the good book”…
thank you for your christian blessings… wait a minute, there are religions that make sense? please enlighten me.
I think the point you made there was that not many religions make sense as most religions arn’t ok with other relgions.
Hmm. ihabd. Could mean “I Have A Brain Deficiency”. Maybe it stands for “I Hate All Benevolent Deities”, or “I’m a Half Assed Brainless Dirtbag”. Or how about “Imbecile Hatemongers Always Behave Despicably”.
Oh, and try learning to spell. And your caps lock is on, it’s really not necessary - it just makes you look even more stupid than the content of your little note, difficult though that may be to imagine.
ET
Ow. Why are you yelling?
Looks like someone’s off his meds today…
religions that make sence? No, yeah, i can totally see what you mean. Take your christianity; was it ezekiel in ch1:4-9 who talks of the completely logical appearance of monsters with wings? yes, and they had four faces each so “they turned not when they went; they went every one straight forward”. i mean, that happens ALL the time…damn quad-faces, get ALL the girls.
…Also spot on with the whole “FLYING SPEGETTI MONSTER IS JUST FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!” I’m with you all the way, I mean; an ‘Almighty Being’ who created all things how they are? Bah, hilarious! An ‘Ever-present Vessel’ that magically guides us and listens to our self indulgent pleas? Outrageous!…wait is this sounding familliar?…
…no no, i’m sure you christians have it right, men are clearly the spawn of dust and I keep my girlfriend between my 5th and 6th intercostal; close to my heart……because she’s my rib, or course. (OF COURSE)
Oh, how I go on. I’m just so enthralled with the great deal of sence christianity makes….scrap sence, that shit makes dollars.
Aww how adorable. A self-claimed “maybe a Christian” fellow pointing out that religion has to make sense.
See what happens to people who haven’t been touched by His noodly appendage? They become crazy! Crazy, I tell you! I’m so glad I am saved from this horrible fate by the loving caress of the Noodly One.
I like you guys. I really do. It’s just sad to think that some day your generation is going to be running the planet. Guess you’ll get your armageddon soon enough, eh? ;)
Please forgive name misspelling… call me chimpolus a couple times… I finally re-read it… Perhaps the FSM was obfuscating it on me…
Now I see that you are reposting email from other nuts and not writing them. I am trully on the FSM’s giggle list. Much blushing… please forgive me, brother henderob!
BTW… did ihabd say what chruch it is he attedns? lol
Thats RELIGION not religon you incompentent heathen. Why does YOUR religion make sense? Long Live the Noodly Master!
“IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE”
Irony… too much… head exploding…
Whats a chruch?
Really, it’s almost not fun anymore to respond, although ‘CHRUCH’ did make me grin for a moment. I mildly enjoyed the ‘1′ at the end of the ‘!!!!!!!!!!!!,’ indicating that ‘-ihabd’ was holding down the ‘!’ key and ’shift’ key simultaneously, but let up on ’shift’ just a tad too soon. It’s a common enough typing error. What else can I say, but *yawwwwwn*?
You’re a Christian but you say our idea of an omnipotent, undetectable creater doesn’t make sense? So you’re really saying that you’re a hypocrite.
I have a cat named Vincent, and he has a better grasp of grammar, spelling and the use of the shift key than you do.
“…OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE…”
So you are saying the xtian religion makes sense? A myth that a bunch of middle-eastern sheepherders stole from much older religions makes more sense than the FSM? At least we are touched by His noodly appendage…
RAmen
like your religion makes anymore sense, from two people populating the world to burning shrubery, it makes about as much sence as some guy dying and coming back to life, that is to say NONE.
So let me get this straight - a Jewish messianic figure who purportedly walks on water, raises the dead, dies and comes back to life, goes on four bloody crusades, sanctions the worship of his “virgin” mother, whose priests prey on little boys, who wants to bomb Iran, and whose all-seeing-eye watches me wipe my ass everyday “makes more sense” than a Flying Spaghetti Monster?
Yeah, I’ll gladly “burn in hell forever” if that’s the case…
I really don’t think that incest is part of the doctrine of the pastafarian movement. It may be a part of your life, but it seems to be missing here. We may include your inbred mind set which is also missing
I see you christians have such class,
ihabd, you are not a very good Christian. I probably don’t read the Bible as much as you do but I don’t think there is a scripture where Jesus called anyway a cock sucker mother fucker. In fact, I don’t think he ever said anyone would burn in hell. Weird.
The best part about Pastafarianism is when fools like you don’t realize a joke when it is plainly staring you in the face.
“IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE”. That’s hilarious! There are religions that make sense???
Well.. at least you are calm about your criticism. And I am all over only pursuing relgions that make sense… no bat shit crazy stuff about dead people coming back and stomping about or anything.
Eeew. That last sentence sounded kind of creepy.
What ever happend to love thy neighboor?
I don’t understand…. Is this hatemail…. Didsn’t he say that FSM was hillarious, it is well known that he is quite the comedian…
i was just wondering, do you guys dip garlic bread in spaghetti sauce for communion?
Know what’s even worse than the spelling, grammar, and punctuation, is that this person just hasn’t been paying attention. How else could he write to this site and assert that other religions make sense. He should really read the comments on his own and other hate mails and see why no religion makes sense.
The fact he believes that certain religions do “make sense” demonstrates how deeply in childhood these people get imprinted with the crititical scitosis that allows them to exempt their belief systems from rational scrutiny while simultaneously being acutely aware of the absurdity of belief systems they have not been brainwashed into.
You silly Christians with your caps lock and intolerant attitudes. Until you actually have an intelligent argument, I don’t suggest you email us. Its rather embarrassing.
Peace
This guy needs to “Take a powder” and then read both the Gospel of the FSM and”Stranger in a Strange Land.”
.
If he can come away from those two texts and still maintain his current position then we can truly state he has no soul.
.
PastaTux
hypocrisy !!! isn’t the root of christian values love thy neighbor? clearly you are not following your own religion so i believe that you will be the one to burn in the fires of hell. how can you criticize something that you cant prove wrong? So how big was the ark in which carried 2 of every animal? how can a burning bush talk?
Chippolus…..
Henderob is the owner of the sight and the prophet of FSM. He is just reposting what he gets as hate mail. The name of the person is usually at the end of the post. In this case it’s ihabd.
— Just a heads up.
so, wat religions do make sence??
Could this possibly be a troll trying to provoke everyone?
Wow ok so lemme get this straight you are a christian but still think its proper to call someone a cock sucking motherfucker? That is really just sad. I am sure if we were to meet face to face you wouldn’t have the guts to say such a crude insult to anyone. As for my mother, I love her she is a christian, my girlfriend is a christian, so is my grandmothers, grandpa, sister and I have honestly never heard them criticize another religion for being stupid. Perhaps you should grow a pair get a real life and stop making fun of people just to make yourself feel better.
Maybe we should tell him that the FSM was born of a virgin and rose from the dead. True its a lie- not that that would matter - but it might pump up the plausibility a bit.
There is a religion that makes sense.
Richard Dawkins is god!
I AM RELIGON, MAKER OF SENSE!
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WOOOOOOOOOORSHIP ME!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds Fake.
LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THESE LETTERS!!!!! CAN’T YOU SEE HOW SERIOUS I AM!!!! I’VE REPLACED LOGIC WITH VOLUME!!!! WE LIVE AT THE END TIMES, REPENT SO YOU CAN BE SAVED!!!!! CAN’T YOU SEE MY SOAP BOX?!?!?! IT’S SO HUGE, I MUST BE CORRECT!!!
You’re okay with other religious people, but you still believe they’re all going to burn in hell.
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Brilliant logic then.
.
Peace, and may you find the pastas.
The mind truly boggles.
How can so many Christians be so absurd?
Is this a conspiracy?
All with caps lock on,bad grammar, hate, bad spelling.
At least it gives us something to be thankful for.
We have intelligence, pasta, a beer volcano and strippers to look forward to!
These poor souls truly need to be touched by a noodley appendage.
Yawn.
OMFSM, YOU ARE FUCKING HILARIOUS TOO. :|
Uh-oh, I hope Hilarious doesn’t have AIDS…
“WHO EVER MADE THIS CHRUCH IS A COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER WHO IS GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
.
Well… the joke’s on him! there is no hell! Only warm, flat beer and ugly, diseased strippers for bad people, and i don’t think Bobby has earnt that horrible fate.
I’m not a Pastafarian or a Christian, in fact I’m basically agnostic. However I like to study different religions, and in my opinion you’re no Christian. I believe Jesus said to try and get along with people, and that the best way to convert people was through kind acts. I doubt Jesus or God would approve of your comment here.
Religion is bases on the belief that one can better themselves through the teaching passed down from our alders who derived concepts from their lifetimes of experiences and if that is accomplished by soaking in the words of the ages using stories with exciting characters or delivered via the divine writers of holy books inspired out of insight or the sincere desire to form society morals, then one could stand to admire those great works, dedication, and sacrifice each of the messengers have give to man kind and take away a solemn thanksgiving to their own nucleus circle forming the next generation of fine outstanding citizens. Now go out there and enjoy a great dinner and remember when consuming that meat ball, that there could be a FSM contemplating you as the next meal.
Ahh… Yet another open display of the love, compassion, and tolerance that your saviour taught. I will pray to the FSM for your guidance, my child.
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On the other hand… Nahh…
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St John the Blapshemist
Saint of Exercises In Futility
how stupid would you have to be
to choose not to believe in his noodlyness :O
it saddens me to think what he must think of all theese non believers
Well, at least you found the shift key.
Ramen. Arg.
First of all ihabd my friend, you need to seek professional help for your anger issues. Secondly, you really need to look into getting your GED. Thirdly……you have no problem with religions that make sense? And which religion, pray-tell, would that be? Your religion? Lets analyze christianity shall we…….the believe that a jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your ’soul’, that happens to be present in ALL mankind, because a woman made from a mans rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple from a magical tree of knowledge……yea, and a Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn’t make sense. :P
RAmen All!
I’m going to try to preach the message of the FSM in a way that ihabd may understand, we need to explain our beliefs in their language in order to enlighten them (I’m still going to dress up like a pirate for this).
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WHO EVER MADE THIS CHRUCH IS A flying spaghetti monster WHO IS GOING TO relax in a tomato sauce jacuzzi.
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I MAY BE A pastafarian, IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE, BUT i can’t find any, and at least A FLYING SPEGETTI MONSTER IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!1
-RAMEN
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These are the words i removed, i do hope Christians can still comprehend my message without them.
COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER
BURN IN HELL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHRISTIAN
FUCKING
JUST FUCKING
I am so looking forward to the Rapture. Once all of these foul mouthed, bigoted, stupid and intolerant idiots have been taken into the loving arms of jebus, we will have a very nice time here on Earth chilling with the smart and open minded people who are left behind. Bring it on jebus. RAmen.
Good thing he/she/it has their religion to give them morality over us heathens…
Nightshade - Thanks for the heads up… realised soon after my note that the same person was posting everything, and then realized that hendernob was really henderob, and decrypted the name. Felt silly, probably gave Bobby a chuckle, awaiting Karmic payback ;)
Spanky… I can’t see the strippers in Hell being ugly… what if the strippers are still really hot, but are entirely without the fun bits? Like barbie and ken dolls…? The disease makes sense too though.
foozlesprite - The bible is so contradictory in itself that it leaves massive loopholes as to morality. It preaches turning the other cheek, mutilation if a body part displeases you, giving more than is asked of you, but there are always excuses for killing anyone who annoys you. Mathew was particularly insane. Good old bronze age morality, those were the days, eh?
Vermicelli- back in the old days, it was all the rage for gods to have been born of a virgin, on the Winter Solstice (Dec 25) and walking on water, healing the sick, dying on the cross, dead for three days and being resurrected. All the gods were doing it. Of the many sun gods of the day, look up Horus. Its very interesting…
If you find it HILARIOUS, why do you need to insult us?
Maybe because you can not find any better argument than COCK SUCKING and MOTHER FUCKING?
I dont mind burning in Hell anyway because our hell is much more worthy than the christian one and i will gladly boil in tomato sauce to become a divine Meatball.
What other religions make sense?
jeremykeys: “The mind truly boggles.
How can so many Christians be so absurd?”
Lots and lots of practice, jeremy. Twenty centuries of practice will bring along mountais of absurdity.
“WHO EVER MADE THIS CHRUCH IS A COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER WHO IS GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
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Or gently roast on a Caribbean beach for a couple of weeks a year!
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“I MAY BE A CHRISTIAN”
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You may, but I’m putting my money on lunatic!
I don’t understand. Our religion makes more sense than the Christian religion, so why do you hate us so?
Can you all be so illiterate that you would not notice the fact that by using all caps ihabd is simply typing in majuscule script to honor the Codex Vaticanus. Clearly a Christian with this level of knowledge about their belief system should be respected.
This guy needs to go to church more often - I don’t think jesus would like his tone. ;)
One of my best friends is a Christian, and she would say that is not christianity, thats just a douchebag with a keyboard and stupidity. furthermore, this “Christian” says he is okay with other religions, but is a total douche about us! but thats been said. Fuck You, ihabd! look forward to your flat beer and disgusting, STD-ridden strippers!
This sort of attitude must be so embarrassing for Christians everywhere. Ignorance and hate seem to go together so well and it seems to be what we mostly hear from them. Why the religious communities don’t try to find these angry war mongering bigots and try talking since to them. They are giving the communities they profess to love the worst advertisement possible.
I am just new to this thing but oh my Spaghetti Monster, am I having a great time! Thanks to all you pastafarians.
“Religons” are non-sense which we chose to use to give us comfort as we try to make sense of the non-sense of life.
You can have your bearded old man if it makes you feel safe. Allow me my FSM.
My FSM makes as much sense to me as a “Virgin Birth” makes to you.
What makes a “Religon”make sense anyway, longevity?
Remember, there were no Christians before the crucifixion of Jesus.
If longevity is a measure of truth, you are hitching your horse to the wrong wagon my Christian friend.
Judge not lest ye be judged by your ignorance..
landoverbaptist.org bud. Goes to show how wonderful Christian beliefs are.
Anyway, do you have any evidence for our so-called “fucking” “cock-sucking motherfucker”-ness? What have we done to burn in Hell? When’s the last time you saw a Pastafarian rape, murder, or mug someone?
I didn’t think so.
Please, if you’re going to insult us, have proof of how big “cock-sucking motherfuckers” we are.
Peace Love and Pirates! (Yes, even to you, you bastard)
RAmen
“I MAY BE A CHRISTIAN, IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE,”
There are religions that make sense?
Nobody’s going to take you seriously if you type stuff like that. It just makes one think that you’re illiterate, so please keep those thoughts to yourself.
What the hell is a chruch????
Your god is about sucking cocks? I asked this judging by the language you are using. Way to go sick bastard… Here we have Christians whine about homosexuality and how their god is against it well “ihabd” has shown me differently.
It just makes me warm inside to realize that all the FSM followers know more about Christianity and other religions than the followers of those religions. What made me laugh was the fact that ihbad believes we are stupid for believing in the FSM, but he/she doesn-t realize he is the stupid one for believing in a dogmatic faith. FSM followers have the ability to think outside the box! just gotta love the meatballs! if you guys are all going to hell… then hell must be awesome!
I think everyone on this board should be kinder to these type of posters. If someone begins a hate mail letter with something like ‘MOTHERFUCKIN BALLS SHITLICK ASSWIPE CUNTWHORE’ odds are he either has tourrette’s syndrome or mad squirrel disease.
We are all familiar with tourette’s which is a brain disorder that afflicts its victims with poor impulse control with regard to their verbal and written expression, but did you know that backwoods Xtains who eat squirrel are even more vulnerable to mad squirrel disease whose symptoms at the early stages mimic tourette’s?
Obviously, bad dietary and metaphysical choices have brought this person to this juncture, and he deserves all our pity.
I personally appreciate all other religions, as for the Christian who posted this, You would know that according to our god, it is not us who decides what religion is right or wrong as he will decide in the end. However, I feel that if you really believe in something. Live it up, and that is exactly what you are doing, and I feel that their statue is more than welcome to share the same place on town greenes across the United States with Jesus, as Church and State should be seperate, and if you’re doing to display one, you should display all.
Good for you.
You don’t sound like you have a very good sense of humor…Or a working caps lock key.
You’re okay with other religions that make sense? Are you aware that our religion makes more sense than yours? I mean, you believe in a supposedly “kind” God that sends his own children- which he “loves”- to eternal torment, who must have created evil (for he created everything), and that a guy who was born of a virgin walked on water. Please hit the Caps Lock key before sending another message.
Those are thought-provoking and pertinent points you make, ihabd. (I do hope that you understand what ‘pertinent’ means. If you don’t, maybe your pastor can help you.)
I’m so glad that someone like you has come along, at last, to raise the level of this otherwise uneducated and boorish discussion board.
And your use of upper case and exclamation marks is a stroke of sheer, sheer genius.
I’m awed.
If this is what Jesus can do I’m giving up on that silly old Spaghetti Monster.
XD!!! EVERYONE WHO MAKES CRUCHES SHOULD BURN IN HELL FOR HELPING PEOPLE WITH A LEG DISABILLITY!
Seriously, I think these people need a Google toolbar… and because they’re stupid, we need to tell them how to use spell check.
“Whoever made this church” established the coolest religion ever! BTW, what religions make sense?
Sorry about this one.
i will have to agree with him though, the FSC is very funny and i enjoy the ideals behind it very much.
and there is no real way to know any of those things about the FSC’s founding members and im sorry that someone said those reproachable things in the name of christianity.
your worse then me… and im horrible…
i say horrible things like if mary was a virgin and jesus’s penis were to press against the vagina during birth… wouldnt that mean jesus took his mother’s virginity?
oh and i cant burn in hell cause i dont believe in it :P you can ^^
oh ignorance is bliss
I had a dream about this last night, the FSM spoke to me through a 3-way at goldstar, my life is in line for me now.
Ihabd,
(which I assume is not your real name) I am saddened by the gendered nature of your slurs, this would seem to relect a deep misogynistic tendency which may be religious in origin.
Come, join us in the noodley arms of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, She will heal you of your anger.
chruch? *lol*
fundamentalist christians:
“I CANT STOP YELLIN AND SPELLIN BAD CUZ DATS HOW I TALK”
CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
I really, really dislike text written in capital, andy I totally hate the overuse of exclamation marks. It’s not like it will ‘read’ any louder you know.
In my experience, this is most often used to distract readers from the fact the meaning of the text is an incredible load of bullshit.
Granted, here it doesn’t seem te be bullshit, this appears to have no meaning at all.
“An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design” is a quote from a description of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. No offense intended, I’m just stating a fact.
Does your Jesus approve of the phrase “Cock sucking mother fucker?”. Oh, by the way, the SIZE OF YOUR LETTERS, DOESN’T MAKE ANYONE TAKE YOU MORE SERIOUSLY AND NEITHER DOES THE NUMBER OF EXCLAIMATION POINTS YOU ADD!!!!!!!! See?
Here’s my take anyway, I was Catholic. Was. I abandoned my church and their contorted values. I also didn’t find the comfort in God and religion everyone else who believed in God did. When i prayed, I felt like an idiot. I was essentially talking to my imaginary friend. Despite all this, I don’t go around calling everyone that believes differently than me a “cock sucking mother fucker”. Apparently my becoming an atheist has done more for me than your God’s ever done for you.
Who’s to say there’s more proof in God than a Flying Spaghetti Monster? I say why the hell not?
I’m stunned to think that Pastafarianism is a religion that doesn’t make sense…so what if we believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster - it’s not like it’s weird that you believe in an invisible guy that you have no idea as to his actual appearance. At least we know what our god looks like!
It’s a wonder that fundies can figure out how to utilize Standard TCP/IP
What the hell. Seriously. “I MAY BE A CHRISTIAN, IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE,” Religions that make sense? what religions? are there some new ones I haven’t heard of yet? And what makes you better than atheists or pastafarians? because you believe in some supernatural being created everything? because you follow something that put more hate and destruction that salvation in the world? think about what you say, douche. CAPS LOCK 4 LIFE!!!!!!
lol, a omnipitent flying man in the sky makes sense
but a flying sphagetti ball makes NO sense
“Cock sucking mother fucker”
How very Christian of you.
“The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree…”
Yep, your religion makes PERFECT sense. Can’t fault it.
Yahweh Akbar?
uh…just so you FSM believers know…That person is exactly why people like me don’t like being considered a christian, because those type of people are our most common representatives and for that I am sorry. Normally I would ask you not to get the wrong impression…but I’m afraid the damage is done.
We’re not all like that.
Caps lock is not cruise control for cool, and even if it was, you’d still have to stear.
Well hey there Mr. Christian!! Thats one of the most unenlightened, ignorant views I have ever seen!! Why would you want to advertise your ignorance over the world wide web? You call yourself a christian but you preach hate and intolerance (very unchristian like). So, NON-christian, it is you that is going to hell….
Learn to spell first mister angry christian.
If you are a Christian, then you aren’t a very intelligent one. I hope Kira finds your name…..
Hmm…
Mary and Joseph were married…
Mary and God had a son named Jesus…
Adultery is a sin…
Your God is a hypocrite.
-
Ever the blasphemous,
Grandmaster Funk
You say, “WHO EVER MADE THIS CHRUCH IS A COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER WHO IS GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I say, “Bring it. I’m not scared of your Hell.”
You say, “I MAY BE A CHRISTIAN…”
I say, “You may be an asshole.”
You say, “…IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE…”
I say, “Really. I mean, really really? Because you just don’t sound like you’re ‘okay’ with it.”
You say, “BUT A FUCKING FLYING SPEGETTI MONSTER IS JUST FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!1″
I say, “That’s the one thing I agree with you on!!!!!!!53″
our religion makes no sense.
what a shame.
i’ll just have to start worshipping a friendly man who lives on a cloud then.
I thought Christians didn’t use that kind of language. =/
LOL! I love this site. It cracks me up.
wow!
the people who post replies to these hate letters are amusing, literate and devoid of hate.
ALL without god.
pasta is seriously good for the soul
This is such a joke email. I don’t think someone seriously sent this. No one can be that stupid. Nice try!
1. God did not create the universe in six solar days.
2. It is illogical to have an all loving God that destroyed the world and everything in it.
3. How is killing your son supposed to be a wonderful sacrifice?
4. It is biologically impossible for two humans to populate the world into the genetic variety it is today.
5. Judge not, lest you be judged.
god would appreciate your language
“Cock sucking mother fucker”
How very Christian of you.
AHAHAH
Now while I do disagree with the creation of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster i must say that you are one stupid piece of shit ihabd. As Elle pointed out, the manner in which you stated your disbelief of this church contradicts the beliefs which your own church promotes.
For the record, I do not believe this Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has the right to be a legitimate religion. I actually happen to be a devout Lutheran. However, live and let live is the best way to approach and I find the conversation on these forums to be quite intelligent and stimulating.
Sad so sad so what if they think of pasta as a god do they diss your god? i dont follow religion as i see them all as a cult anyway but kudos to ya
Sunoo,
.
On what basis does any religion gain a “right” to be a “legitimate” religion? How did you come to your decision about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
.
Inquiring minds want to know.
.
RAmen
Spagetti? Considering it’s up at the top of the page in big letters you think he would have spelt it right.
OK, this is how FSM religion logic works, you replace all the things they say about their religion with yours, and all the bad things they say about your religion with theirs. Lets see how this looks shall we!
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
WHO EVER MADE THIS CHRUCH IS A COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER WHO IS GOING TO BE STUCK WITH STALE BEER AND STD INFECTED STRIPPERS FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAY BE A PASTAFARIAN, IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE, BUT A GOD WHO IMPREGNATED A VIRGIN GIRL SO SHE COULD HAVE HIS SON IS JUST FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Let me get this straight: If you don’t use the Lord’s name in vain, then it’s not swearing. So, even a “Christian” can say “F**k.” Interesting. And I thought moral relativism was the exclusive provence of secularists. Learn something new every day.
Anodyne, you impress me :-) that seems some very honest politeness, and it speaks of the desire to minimize hate and contempt. Truly christian. (And for once I’m not being sarcastic when I say that in the hatemail section, to make that clear.)
I think you can relax, I believe the pastafarians aren’t exactly the sort of people who judge an entire population by what one loudmouth says.
Never feel bad, ashamed, or apolagize for another person’s stupidity. He’s the one who decided to go on some mad ranting and we all know it wasn’t you.
Really, now that it got me thinking, this is great, it is indeed easy to forget on this website here there are other christians than the mad ranting kind, although where I live those fanatics don’t even exist.
Good call, really, I’m still a bit shocked, in a good way.
You better hope St. Peter is on sick leave, or those pearly white gates are a L O N G way off.
You’ll find that your religion is just as valid as Pastafarianism. There is no proof that a Lord God created the universe, and neither is there any proof that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. In actuality, scientists are unable to discern when the universe came into existence. They have found that there is no proof that the universe even began. That is to say that the universe has always existed (as far as logic has been able to tell).
i wish there were such a thing as hell. that way id be scared into believing that id be punished for not devoting my life in a concept that has created hatred and waged wars since the beginning of its creation. (”God”) also, maybe that way, it’d be reasonable for me to convert to Christianity (A religion just as, if not more farfetched than this brilliant belief)
“God is man’s most destructive creation”
“Hmm…
Mary and Joseph were married…
Mary and God had a son named Jesus…
Adultery is a sin…
Your God is a hypocrite.”
I’m sorry but I think that what this person said is a bit cruel and being a Christian I am a bit offended by this. However, this person has the right to their own personal views and their right to express themselves and I should not try to silence them. I’m not that kind of Christian.
As for this Flying Spaghetti Monster religion, I think it is VERY interesting and creative. However I cannot picture myself believing in this religion because it just doesn’t make sense to me, I do think that a person’s religion is their own personal choice and I think it would be unchristian of me to tell them they are wrong to believe it. If they want to believe in a flying spaghetti monster and it gives them a direction in life, what harm is it doing? If it helps someone and gives someone hope then what’s the problem? I, for one, find the religion quite intreguing and I am curious to learn more about it. I will be returning to this website later on after work.
I love all of these stupid comments. Ever notice that none of them know how to spell or even use correct grammar? I’m not religious in any way whatsoever, and I let people believe what they want.
I hate the religious people who push their religion on you, telling you that every other religion is wrong. Haha. This site is just awsome and gives me a good laugh when I’m in an upset mood.
“I MAY BE A CHRISTIAN, IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE”
Oh how I love that sentence. The reason I’m not religious is because none of them make sense to me. =) They all look up to the same person, all practice the same junk, but they all hate each other and would kill in the name of ‘God’… So ok…?
“BUT A FUCKING FLYING SPEGETTI MONSTER IS JUST FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!1″
If you find it funny, then why are you bashing your religion onto another?
@Sunoo
May 7th
” I do not believe this Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has the right to be a legitimate religion”
Why? Wich is exactly the difference?
I don’t want the Church of the FSM to become a religion, but appart from that -I mean, that most of the “believers” didn’t really believe in it; but we could say the same about catholicism in Europe- I can’t see why we must have less rights than the other religions
Please note that (s)he only states “I may be a Christian” - but that leaves it open to all sorts of other possibilities as well. Lets try some replacement phrases:
I may be a bigoted dingleberry
I may be a dried out, humorless individual with an overblown sense of self-importance
I may be a hopelessly undereducated victim of the Kansas State School Board
I may be the FSM in disguise testing your faith - no wait, only the Christian god feels the need to come back undercover to make sure we aren’t enjoying ourselves behind his back.
All in all, I like phrase 2 the most and I find the email reads better with that small edit.
PC
I always get a good laugh here watching christians tear up their own religion and its morals :D
@ Captain Peuterschmidt
I would venture to guess if the guy is as ignorant as you say (I don’t disagree) then he probably doesn’t really that he’s sounding as ignorant as he is. Only smart people realize ignorance when it accidently spews from their lips.
how many ignorant christians does it take to make all of christianity look single minded?
One and his name is Inhabd???
I find it fitting that there are SEVEN (see? Pastafarians can use all caps too!) entire pages of responses to this stream of idiocy already. I also would like to encourage ihabd to run for president, because he really does a lot for his cause and maybe he could win! Honestly, I never wanted to be a Christian until now, ihabd. Thank you for allowing me to see the light!
“IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE”
In my eyes Christianity doesn’t make sense.
As somebody pointed out God committing adultery, that doesn’t make sense.
A virgin giving birth, doesn’t make sense.
2 people somehow producing 6 billion people, doesn’t make sense.
Red Sea parting, doesn’t make sense.
How people came to know about the creation, Adam and Eve, the battle in Heaven etc. etc., doesn’t make sense.
Christianity not believing in the Holy Dictionary and Caps Lock button, doesn’t make sense.
So if the above were true then Christianity itself doesn’t make sense and you shouldn’t okay with it whoever you are.
Chruch?
What if Marie did have Jesus with the Flying Spaghetti Monster ?
0_o
I know that the FSM exists . As he would n’t have made a website if he was n’t true , and he would n’t have drawn a picture of himself . He’s very artistic . lol
Classy, forthright and accurate,well at least i’ve left a list of what you should try to be next time you post, sadly people like you seem to pop up everywhere, it’s not about stupidity, it’s about IGNORANCE, there is a huge difference you know and you seem to exude ignorance….boy am I glad I don’t live in the states, it’s just like London in some ways, ther you can be no further away that 5 foot at any one time from any species of vermin you care to name (religious or otherwise)
I think this FSM is exactly what people need to see… The future evolution of spiituality. Humans are evolving and starting to use some of their brain cells for actual thought. Hopefully our children will come to see the truth in religion, and learn what existence is really about
typical CHRISTIAN be intolerant to a group of people who belive in an unconfirmable religion while you continue to belive in a god no one has ever said to have seen and who even if i did belive in seems intent on purecuting and damming all of his followers to hell for sinning, because no matter how devoute you are it is impossible for you to live a sin free life. Im happy will the benovolent FSM.
WHO EVER MADE THIS CHRUCH IS A COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER WHO IS GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I MAY BE A CHRISTIAN…
IF YOU’RE A CHRISTIAN AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO OFFEND YOU?
Are all cristians in the US homophobes???? man every hate comment they make is about fsm being gay…. well may be he is. so?
When was the last time you heard of a FSM pastor molesting alter boys? Oh wait, we dont, and then sweep it under the rug. I also cannot understand the concept of your religion, in donating to the church? Tell me, for what reason does a priest need to drive around in a Cadillac for? I thought they were to live in poverty, not have all this property etc. So Mr Christian, you tell me who is hypocritical now? You do not see our beloved FSM asking us for money now. I do not see a collection plate asking for 10% of my income. I didnt see my FSM creating a tornando that just killed 100,000 people. So much for your beloved diety.
wo, wo wo your ok with religions that talk about parting the sea, resurection, talking bushes, and raining frogs, but this is too weird?
Greg, while i agree with most of what you say, they did trace the male chromosome back to one man in africa, so there was one guy that started it, but there could’ve been multiple women.
Well for your information, Christianity is a religion invented for the poor and weak. The concept of community is apealling to them. Unfortunately, we are not poor or weak so we do not need this God you speak so kindly for. Why don’t you go jump off a cliff, come back to life, and tell me what heaven was like. Dark? Oh. You should have brought Insight with you to lighten your path. Hail Satan with love from the atheistist religion LaVeyanism.
The replies to the hate mail have become more focused on grammar than actual decent points, i was wondering what FSM views where on dislexia. Slowly but surely FSM has gone from a breath of fresh air… to judgemental and pathetic just like all other religions. Why should people need a superior? When it is quite clear how earth and the universe was actually created! God is the ideas of a carpenter named Jesus.. of which there is proof existed.. that most likely went mad, gathered other equally insane followers and created Christianity.
FSM was most likely the consequences of bored students with too much free time. Before i read the replies to the hate mail, i found this site amusing! Now i see the error of my ways, the majority of people on here are pompus and pathetic. You judge less educated and less grammadicaly brilliant than you, you never actually win the argument, just bamboozle people with huge confusing words in the hope that people will have no reply to such witty and sarcastic statements.
The majority of hate mail on here is not grammadically brilliant, as i can imagine some teenagers or younger people do not care much for long confusing words, it seems that you cannot have a view on FSM unless you study the dictionary also.
If FSM followeres do not change its way, it is at risk of becoming just another religion. Just another form of judging in society.
Dont be silly, wrap your willy x
does yo mama know you gotta mouth like that? dayum
What about our religion doesn’t make sense where yours does? Religion’s fundamental principle is that it doesn’t make any sense at all. When it is showed to make no sense it changes, hence the Old Testament to New Testament. Soon when the New Testament is proved to be a lie there will be another Testament. Maybe soon there will be a Very Best of Testament.
You know, it’s not exactly a secret which “cock sucking mother-fucker” made the Church of the FSM, i fact, I’m pretty sure it’s on the front page.
R’Amen
Woah there, ihabd. Take a deep breath. Count to ten, and consider the consequences if you go rape your sister in anger like you were about to just now.
Ok, now that you’re calm, consider this:
If our religion is so stupid, why are you so mad? What’s to get worked up about? Why should you care if we burn in your imaginary Hell? You don’t even know us! And btw, I’m not into sucking cocks. Sorry.
Let me rewrite your letter (don’t worry, I’ll take off the caps lock so it’s legible):
Whoever believes in the Christian God is most likely a cock-sucking motherfucker who is going to find nothing but stale beer and whores with VDs when they die!
I may be a Pastafarian, and I’m fine with religions that make sense, but a God that encourages slavery and sexism, tells his followers adultery is wrong but does it with a married mortal, sends all aborted fetuses to hell (no I’m not kidding I read that on a Christian site), and tells people to eat Communion wafers, pretending they’re his body (encouraging cannibalism, plus the wafers are GROSS!), is just fucking ridiculous (and hilarious)!!!!!!
Benny, there already IS a new new testimant. The Qur’an. And a new new testimant mark 2; the book of Mormon.
Now so long as you havn’t claimed the best of testimant idea I think I may have to publish a book….
“I’m okay with other religions that make sense”
I added the apostrophe and toned down the capitalisation so anybody reading it would think it was written by someone with some understanding………………………shame about the words, really.
Live long and pasta
Hey bud…. you must not be very religous with a mouth like that. I haven’t seen anyone from FSM verbally attacking you! And a question for you…. Is it hard to go through life with your mind sealed shut?
Our religion is no crazier than yours. Maybe you just need to look at it with fresh eyes. And a closed mouth.
Also, whatever happened to “he who has not sinned may through the first stone”? Don’t be so quick to condemn, ihabd. It’s not up to YOU who may “burn in hell forever!!!!!” et cetera.
Some Christian.
Yes, it is hilarious. That’s why we love him!
R’Amen.
[q]BUT A FUCKING FLYING SPEGETTI MONSTER IS JUST FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!![/q]
Yep, humor is highly appreciated here
Computer: $2000
Internet Access: $50
Typing in capitals and leaving a 1 and the end off a long line of exclamation marks: Priceless
would you care to name another religion that makes sense. (I can’t think of one)
worship of zombies vs. worship of food
I see you’ll find that FSMism will top Christianity any day.
At least Pastafarians haven’t killed millions of Muslims and “non believers” unlike the fucking Christians in the name of “the one true God”!!!!!!!!!! R’man
I was drawn to the word ’sense’ in particular when reading this piece of hate mail. Allow me to cite just a few, of many, examples of events that occur in The Bible. Readers of the following list could interact by adding a ‘Sense’ and ‘Nonsense’ box at the end of each one then tick the relevant box after reading the statement. Ready? Then I shall begin…..
1. A talking snake?
2. A deity drowned the entire world but managed to save 2 species of every creature? In a small boat?!
3. The builder of this boat was 700 years old?
4. The six billion people on Earth today are the produce of a few people who got jiggy 2000 years ago?
5. We are made from dirt?
6. The Earth was made in the dark since He created the heavens and the Earth before light?
These are the most sensible examples I could find.
You may be using your religion as a “chruch” for your sad, angry life.
Well, some people probably believe that you are a cock sucking mother fucker just for thinking anyone really cares about your obviously not-thought-out response. Mostly because what cock sucker wants to fuck your mother? And who are you to decide that someone is going to burn in hell forever?
And as a christian, I suppose that the only religions that make sense to you are… Christianity? Because you seem to have a problem with understanding things you don’t believe in.
Hindus worship cows, Ancient Egyptians worshiped all sorts of animals, from Cat to Dung Beetle. Some Old world (as in pre-record keeping) ideologies think that the first people in the world were born out of the earth. Your religion believes that two people are responsible for the birth of all mankind, then your god kills them all except for a select few and then they repopulated the world, in essence making us all in-bred freaks. And thats the information that makes The Flying Spaghetti Monster, be it real or a product of said in-breding that your religion condones, look better on paper and in practice.
I personally believe that the only reason you typed this letter is because you are living out your days in a hell of your own making, and so you wish to condemn everyone in to hell just so you won’t feel so alone.
Your okay with religions that make sense? Sooo… that means the number of religions your okay with is: 0
No religion is complete unless you have your “half believers.” I will be your guys first.
Ok I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his life giving noodley appendages. _BUT_ I don’t believe in pirates. I think pirates were made up stories and you have no proof that pirates ever existed.
Sorry to break it to you buddy, but Christianity doesn’t really make sense.
Its funny, our replies are no-nonsense, cold, carefully planned assaults on their hot-headed, firey, coarse and clumsy mail.
Its almost painful to see their beliefs bashed by their own twisted logic.
I’m OK, you’re fucked up, but, hey, what the fuck? Who the fuck is keeping a tally of how fucked up you really are anyway?
Sister,
Your anger is typical of the secret war you have inside of you, between your ancient superstitions and the Real Presence of His Noodleness in your heart. I understand it can cause pain and sadness, so you say words you don’t really want to say.
Be sure we pray for you. He will show you the way. Soon, you will be one of us.
May the Pasta be with you.
yes indeed, talking snakes and 700 year old men make plenty more sense than a flying spaghetti monster.
oh sorry, my bad, since billions of people believe in the former example it must be true.
Who’s keeping a tally? The Flying Spaghetti Monster! Duh! Haven’t you been paying attention, you silly non-believer you?
Arrgh,
S
I feel two things: One, the need to “explain” the whole REAL point of the Pastafarian movement. Two, that doing so would ruin the magic of the FSM and everything that It stands for. I’ll just say this: Pastafarianism isn’t anti-Christian, and if you think so, then YOU are a cock-sucking motherfucker (btw, “cock-sucking” should get a hyphen, as it is modifying “motherfucker,” which is one word) far more deserving of an excessive number of angry exclamation points than any FSM disciple.
You sure do got a purty mouth, Lola.
@TheFewTheProudTheMarinara Jun 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am
“You may be using your religion as a “chruch” for your sad, angry life.”
Awesome.
I thought Xtians weren’t allowed to swear? Well, since I have got more dignity and respect in the nail of my left little toe than you have in your entire body, I won’t use cursing words. Here we go.
Have you ever read the whole bible? READ it, as in seeing the words and letting your tiny brain convert them into understandable stuff? You obviously didn’t, because I tell you now: the bible is full of weird things, massmurder for no reason, talking animals, slaves being hit to death, suppression of women and so on. If you think that makes sense… Well, I probably don’t have to finish my story, since it is clear that christianity is for stupid people and Pastafarianism the only real all-loving religion. Thank you.
“IM OKAY WITH OTHER RELIGONS THAT MAKE SENSE”
1. Why are you yelling? Screaming your point of view doesn’t make an argument, having a valid point does.
2. Tell me then how your religion makes sense. Showing me the bible and reading off the 10 commandments doesn’t exactly cut it. How do you personally and without a doubt know that it’s all fact? That’s right… you don’t.
3. Arrogance really really irritates me.
4. Calling people “cock sucking mother fuckers” is not very Christian of you, hence, you are a hypocrite.
5. I can’t stand hypocrisy.
It would be awesome if The Prophet would send these replies back to the original authors. Or at least a link to the posting, so they could follow along.
Okay. No one is right here.
I cannot stand behind the Christians who yell and say that God’s Love is the only way, while threatening someone with hell.
But I can also not stand behind people from The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster who want to blame modern Christians for something that their ancestors did.
Honestly. I don’t believe in EITHER of the faiths, here. I do like this organization and the point that it makes, but I can’t help but think that a lot of it’s members are joining just to feel victemized.
I personally think that religion should be a personal thing, not something to kill people over, or to get angry over.
If both faiths are teaching tolerance, why is there a problem?
“If both faiths are teaching tolerance, why is there a problem?”
Teaching and practicing are two different things.
The problem is that Pastafarians figths with non lethal weapons.
There should be no more Ateisth, end.