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Last week I had a near death experience

Published April 15th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson
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Last week I had a near death experience, I felt so weak like I was going away for good, I saw all my life passing through my eyes, but suddenly a glimpse of something very real and very warm took me back to the world, it was the vision of the Great Master The FSM, I have no doubts that He’s out there and He loves each one of us in the same way. We got to show our love to Him. In this way the world will start to be a better place.

-joh



22 Responses to “Last week I had a near death experience”

  1. Jason says:

    congratultaions on seeing the holy one
    i am glad too see you are feeling better
    may pasta be with you
    Ramen

  2. Grandmaster Funk says:

    Truly He works in strange ways. Also, I have a theory.
    1) The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Great as He is, would have really designed what appears to be the dominant species, humans, to be so inefficient? I think not.
    2) Thus, He must have had some kind of subordinate to design sentient life while He did other, more miraculous things. Such as creating Ravioli.
    3) I theorize that this subordinate could have been a god one of the more mainstream religions. God, Allah, etc.
    4) Perhaps this subordinate seceeded from His Carbohydrated Kingdom, to form Christianity, Islam, Judaeism, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc. Or maybe even all of the above, which merely had different views and customs based on climate and such.
    5) Admittedly, this human-like subordinate is more believable that the Flying Spaghetti Monster, perhaps because they can relate to the subordinate more than a large Italian dish. Or perhaps, even, this subordinate designed humans to break away from their real Creator, in order to steal the throne for itself?
    6) We must cling to our real God. We will not let some imposter usurp His Carbohydrated Kingdom.

    Thank you for your time. Ramen.

  3. R meanings Nothings? says:

    Thinking of what Grandmaster Funk said I have come to the conclusion that (no offence to anyone) Jesus may have had Pasta during his Last Supper. Does anyone know if he did?
    All Gods are one God = the Flying Spahetti Monster.
    Maybe all holy people ever seen on earth were actually bits of noodle from Him the FSM. On contact with earth they become holy people? Yet another theory to dwell on.

  4. Tom says:

    I just thought i’d let everyone know that i introduced 300 people to the FSM today in school, and after a recent poll it turned out like this.

    Religions I Enjoy
    Christianity- 20
    Catholicism- 34
    Misc. Other- 87
    Pastafarianismn- 132 (Ah yeah)

    P.S. I know the Numbers don’t add up and i blame FSM

    -Ramen

    Oh yeah and regarding the comment dude i’d like to give you props as well on making jokes to the very end

  5. Cleetus Van Damme says:

    Did you take a photo? Get an autograph? Or did you miss out on a great ebay opportunity?

  6. Grandmaster Funk says:

    It is quite possible, “R”. Jesus was a fine lad, I can’t see why the FSM wouldn’t like him. But of all the people of the world, I think the Italians hold His favor. They were the intstruments to bringing His form into the world. There must be something special about them. Perhaps we should all make a pilgrimage to Florence? In the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
    Ramen.
    PS: Jesus did do some great things. Such as help the poor. I find it horribly ironic that the Super-Christians conservatives uphold few if none of his ideals.
    PPS: Pardon me going off-topic. I just picked the first forum to spread my theories about.

  7. m610 says:

    Did you manage to get a peek at any of those strippers, or a sip of volcano beer? (Somebody should start brewing Beer Volcano Beer.)

  8. Sister Jane says:

    The Flying Spaghetti Monster came to me too in a vision.
    I prayed and was answered.

    Yes, a saucy noodly appendage came to me in the night and awoke me with a divine ecstasy.
    But the Great FSM is a SHE, yes She told me that Her meaty balls were ovaries and Her saucy noodles were fallopian tubes.
    She will menstruate Her tomatoey love all over the world!

    Peace and love and eternal worship of our goddess, FSM.

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