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I can’t understand

Published April 4th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

This is not hatemail, and it’s not exactly concerned-criticism .. but can anyone help him out?

I can’t understand what it is that you are basing your beliefs on. I especially can’t understand how you actually worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please help me understand as I am interested in the religion, I just can’t fully understand it.
–chip



63 Responses to “I can’t understand”

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  1. The Ems says:

    Have you ever watched the movie “Airplane”? Do you think that is how airlines actually operate?

  2. BlackBard says:

    Hi Chip,
    .
    I recall the day I found out about our Noodly Lord. I searched the web site and learned some things, but still thirsted for more understanding. All your questions will be answered once you have read our Holy Scripture, “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”
    .
    Welcome to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
    .
    RAmen

  3. Bobert says:

    Our beliefs were told the thy profit Bobby by our noodley lord. We spread love and peace to everyone. The universe was created by pasta, and pirates are his chosen people. Hope this has helped.

    RAmen

  4. Iron Mike says:

    Well, you’re not very bright then, are you?

  5. Buck Hanson, star destroyer says:

    Its a mock of intelligent design, saying how broad it is, to get a good understanding read the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster, its a short read, but you need a sense of sarcasm and cynicism

  6. St John the Blasphemist says:

    Simple. Read the open letter.

    St John the Blasphemist
    Saint of Elementarianism

  7. Ubi Dubium says:

    Chip,
    Make sure you read the “open letter to the Kansas school board” on this website.
    We are basing our beliefs on the idea that separation of church and state is important. In the US we have a problem of one religious sect trying to force their creation mythology into science classes in the public schools. They use all kinds of excuses to try to justify this, but to us it is nothing less than a baldfaced attempt to turn our schools into their own private pulpit. The Church of the FSM was founded to fight this. We show how ridiculous their demands are by making the same demands on behalf of a very silly religion. We can copy their behavior and excuses, we can use their same tactics, and we demand equal time in the classroom for our obviously preposterous “theories” of unintelligent design, the lack of pirates causing global warming, and the “intelligent falling” theory of gravity.
    .
    If our “theories” do not belong in the science classroom, then neither do theirs! Science classes should be for teaching science. Are you with us?
    .
    Plus this is just a heck of a lot of fun. Talk and dress like a pirate, eat noodles, drink as much as you want, see divine manifestations anywhere you feel like, take Fridays off!!! And then you can irritate the Fundamentalists by saying that this is how God wants you to live, and maybe it would be great if they were touched by His Noodly Appendage too, because heaven has a beer volcano!! As you can see from the “hate mail” they just can’t stand it when we act just like they do.
    .
    So, YARRRR and RAmen

  8. Rev. Connor says:

    you wouldn’t happen to be my uncle would you?

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