You must be fucking kidding me :| i came across this site while i was googling for innocent “i’m sorry” messages… but the whole idea of having a wad of spaghetti as a god whom you all look up to, is like, sorry to say, disturbing. I know god has no physical form and it is just a state to help people understand better what is beyond our brain capabilities to understand certain matters, but a wad of spaghetti, well, just doesn’t cut it for me.
-Andrea
[and a little while later...]
In the about screen quote: “…mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs”. So this is what it’s all about? It’s all a big prick-waving dick-fight? I’m Christian as well, and as I have stated above, I don’t believe our God is in a human form. Our God got his “human” form because it was much simpler to preach to people about our religion without having to go into detail of what is and what is not a “god”. Simply said, our religion is flawed. Big time. But still, I see beyond that and I see beyond the bible and beyond all the preaching, and form my own opinion of what the representatives of God are trying to tell us. So far, I got to “Love one another and love yourself”. The rest is an elaboration of that statement.
-Andrea
so you are a christian, but you think jesus isn’t real? Someone’s about to join the party.
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Orite. I fail to see your point. Are you capable of realizing there are other view points than yours? We say love one another and yourself, too. Just our God has balls ;]
Do you ridicule Hindus because many of their deities have many arms?
Do you ridicule Shintos (not sure if that is what they prefer to be called) because to them, every object has a spirit?
Do you ridicule other ideas because they’re not yours?
You claim an invisible, transcendent being with no form created everything and tries to tell people what is right and wrong, and you ridicule us?
You claim to have seen past Christianity, but you are no better than what Christianity is. Sure, it says it advocates what most would consider to be “good”, but in reality it is a power base, and its’ followers are used to suppress opposing viewpoints. Many have truly embodied the Christian ideals while still being open minded and tolerant. And this goes for all organized religion. With the exception of Buddhists – they’re pretty chill.
Well Andrea, you seem to be nothing more than a bigot.
Peace
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“I know god has no physical form and it is just a state to help people understand better what is beyond our brain capabilities to understand certain matters, but a wad of spaghetti, well, just doesn’t cut it for me.”
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Translate this as: “It’s beyond my brain capabilities.”
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Exploding Heads
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Hi Andrea.
You miss the point. Its not so much that we worship the FSM. We don’t. It is our alternative to the creationists wanting to make intelligent design to be taught in schools. If one theory is taught, surely all theories of creationism should be taught. Thus, the birth of the FSM. I understand. You took things a little to seriously. This is about a making a point, Andrea. Not about worshiping a god made out of spaghetti, that flies, who made a mountain, made a tree, and made a midgit.
Have a nice day!
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I’m sorry you have not seen the light
may pasta be with you
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So…what is your point exactly?
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Whatever. Have you SEEN the size of spaghetti meatballs? Very humbling, indeed.
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So you admit your “god” is incomprehensible, but you believe in it anyways. And it has to be described in human form because people are too stupid to understand something incomprehensible. And going on about “love” while using the f-word is a contradiction.
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Classic
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I think a Flying Spaghetti Monster with physical, describable properties is much more believable (and tasty) than the xian prototype.
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Yes Adrea it is a dick fight, and our GOD is the alpha male in the fight.
As a matter of fact I would contend you god is the ultimate beta male.
I base this on a book callled Sperm Wars by Robin Cook. In it he contends that people are not biologically monogamous. The best mating strategy for the human male is to spread his seed far and wide by impregnating as many females as possible. It’s a good strategy because with each release of semen, he produces enough spermatazoa to impregnate the entire female population of planet earth. In short, there no scarcity of reproductive resources so the behavioral predisposition natural selection has selected for males is promiscuity. Or as you might put it: Men are dogs.
As for the female: her reporductive resources are scarce, she produces only 1 egg a month and she wants to make sure she has the right male impregnate her. What’s the right male-well, that’s complicated. You see if a male impregnates her and then abandons her, odds are she’ll be unable to take care of her and her baby, and they’ll both die. However, just because a guy hangs around does not make his seed prime reproductive material. He may be a beta male-what modern american females refer to as a “nice guy”. He may hang around but his seed may be inferior to the bad boy love ‘em and leave ‘em alpha male type, and, as a consequence, she may waste a lot of time raising a weak kid who won;t live lone enought to reproduce anyway.
What’s a girl to do? Well Cook suggests that the best solution is for the girl to commit to the beta male and mate with him and when she is most fertile mate surreptitiously with the alpha male and become pregnant by him. That way the alpha males sperm and the beta males sperm have a sperm war in her vagina with hopefully the alpha males sperm winning. The beta male (read husband) thinks the little darling offspring is his and hangs around and raises the alpha males kid who thrives and lives to father the next generation. Isn’t natural selection sneaky?
Anyway, an extension of this theory is that God was invented to enforce fidelity by beta males. If there was an omniscient but sexless male (a “one true friend” in the terms of one of this blog’s posters), then the odds were increased that the beta males’ females would remain faithful when he had his back turned. Why because the woman can no longer say to herself “no one will ever know” if Yaweh is watching over her at all times and punishing all transgressions.
And what better watcher than Yaweh. Why? He possesses none of the attributes of an alpha male.
Think about it. Does he 1) Get lots of women? Of course not, even his only begotten son, was begotten without benefit of sexual intercourse.
Is he a leader of men? Well, consider the case of the Israelites who wander 40 year aroun the Sinai before he was able to lead them to the “Promised Land”. I’m pretty sure any halfway decent leader could get his people there is an couple of weeks. Hell with the aid of GPS and a well maintained Mercedes I would probably drive it in 12 hours.
How about a protector of Loved Ones: Please don’t everyone guffaw at once. When he wasn’t getting his own kid nailed to a tree, he was drowning all but eight people, or burying whole towns in fire and brimstone. And he sure hasn’t done a lot for his chosen people, when you consider the
Babalonian captivity, Roman Occupation, Spanish Inquisition and the Holocost.
Finally, How emotionall normal is he? Well what kind of drama queen tells his best friend that he needs to kill his kid to stay friends with him, and then relents because he was “just testing”.
In short, your god is an evolutionary maladaption, and to the extent you follow the reporducive strategy mandated by Judeo-Christainity, you insure that humankind will produce loser beta kids. That why we need to win the “dick fight” with Yaweh.
Ramen
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Well said, Andrea, and with excellent grammar, to boot. That’s a luxury you critics often don’t afford us. That said, go back and read the history of this site. You got lazy and clearly fired off your message without knowing the whole story. Sorry, whole fucking story.
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Be careful Andrea. You border on rational and intelligent. If your priest finds out you will probably get the pirate “boot”.
‘… but you are always welcome in the mighty, tentacly arms of the spaghetti monster.
Keep reading and I think you just might get it!! Seriously. You are very close! Good luck!
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Yes, as a matter of fact we are kidding you.
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Andrea, When I hear a girl say fucking and kidding in the same sentence, I guess you think the penis is too large. My suggestion is that if you are afraid of ‘taking it all in’, go slowly at first and find a comfortable position. You will be pleasantly surprised at what you can pleasurably accomodate with the right partner. – Fizz
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Our God got his “human” form because it was much simpler to preach to people about our religion without having to go into detail of what is and what is not a “god”.
So I guess you could say lots of other things in your religion have been.. ‘Dumbed down’.. or perhaps, ‘Skewed and changed’?
You are just angry Cause FSM hasn’t touched you with his noodly appendage yet.
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I would just like to state for the record that I am neither fucking nor kidding you at the moment.
But let’s leave those options open, OK? Arrrr!
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Actually, I don’t blame you for getting upset at what you read here, considering your stated position on Christianity. But the thing is, this whole movement was inspired by and is still fueled primarily by the religious wackos who are trying to push their insipid, hateful, and dangerous version of Christianity on everyone else. That said, many people here, but not all, are non-religious, and they don’t feel compelled to cut any religion any slack. They are all variations on a theme, after all, and not a very nice theme, even if good things can be found in some of them.
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One more thing. Being a religious person you are probably more inclined to “believe” and take things at face value than to question the validity or original intent of statements such as “God is love” and “My God has bigger balls than your God.” Otherwise, you would have seen what people here were really saying in all that “bigger balls” stuff, and what people in your circle are actually saying when they say “God is love.”
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Andrea, A lot of people write that they, “came across this site”. I am formally asking the women of legal age to please post links to pictures of them doing so. -Fizz
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I still don’t understand why Christians feel so threatened towards things that aren’t…. Christiany…
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The Christian god does not look like a human? He just takes a human form so we can comprehend him or something? What about the whole creating man in his own image thing? Surely some amorphous blob god created man in his infinite boredom, and then made him the central, most important part of the physical world. If you don’t think that humans are intended by God to be the center of the universe (after the jealous God of course), then you don’t belong in any Abrahamic faiths. Also if he’s an amorphous blob, I think he could be a spaghetti monster.
“I…form my own opinion of what the representatives of God are trying to tell us”
Yes, pretty common amongst the modern religious (although many don’t admit it). Some of us cut out the middle man and form opinions without paying heed to superstitious, sanctimonious holy men. I believe the golden rule is a no-brainer in every culture, whether religion tells them about it or not.
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We get a RSS feed for everything, and for hate mail, it is possible to get a feed for everything but the hate mail? That’s pretty boring stuff.
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Umm…wasnt there this whole thing in the bible about Adam being created in God’s form? Yea, pretty sure that was in there somewhere, maybe the beginning.
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You must be fucking kidding me..
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“…what is beyond our brain capabilities to understand…”
Hey, speak for yourself! My brain is perfectly capable of understanding, thank you very much.
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Dear Andrea
You are very confused. Fucking is what the leaders of some other religions do to their followers. Especially the cute little altar boys get fucked a lot. But never, not one time, has a Pastafarian leader been accused, let alone convicted of fucking their followers. Pastafarians are the most honest, decent and most accepting human beings on this planet. Pastafarians fuck no one except those to whom they are lovingly committed. And they always finish last! Please have as much respect for Pastafarians as they have for you.
Yours in loving fucking
Ron
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Huh…I wasn’t aware that GOD presented himself in human form in the first place….
Pretty sure God and Jesus …if they exist in your mind…were two seperate people…
You should probably get your facts straight next time so you don’t sound like a dumbass…
May you be touched by his noodly appendage.
RAmen
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This one is legit because someone don’t english good. Probably don’t arithmetic good either just like I wrote in the first sentence it just don’t sums up cause theys subject matter is contridictory…gots physical features at the end and in the begining God didn’t have know balls at all.
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first time i left a message just wanted to see if it popped up mmmmm cookies it knows me now
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Come back and write another hate mail when you get the point of this site.
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i was expecting more swearing due to the title of the hate mail :(
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And He spake unto them, saying: ‘There shall be some who don’t get it. And there shall be some who really don’t get it. And some there shall be who really, absolutely don’t get it at all, no way, not even a little bit; and unto those shall be given a slap in the face with a sock full of cold custard’
Wailings 4 xxii
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Mademoiselle/Madame,
You seem to be an intelligent individual, therefore I am writing this as a letter. The fact that you found the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s appearance as we interpret it to be disturbing is exactly what we were going for. This church, this parody religion exists to make people question their beliefs, and as all satirists know, the best way to make people think about what they believe, and question what they are raised to think is to provide a hyperbole. The people most hard-wired to believe what they have been taught will look upon the FSM and scoff without any other thought, but someone with the potential for an open mind will see this outlandish example of extremity, and stop to think about it. God, being omnipresent, could if it so chose, be a Flying Spaghetti Monster. The visage of the FSM causes people with the potential for open-mindedness to question the anthropocentrism of a humanoid God. If you don’t believe that God is a Flying Spaghetti Monster, that’s fine, you are entitled to your belief, however, we respectfully ask that you do the same for ours. The disconnect that usually occurs, is that Christians, primarily used because they are the ones that write hate mail, and reside in the countries that provide hits to the site, want us to respect their belief that God, a giant, omnipotent, omnipresent, human controls everything that happens in the world, but they refuse to respect the fact that a giant, omnipotent, omnipresent, Flying Spaghetti Monster influences our lives. The FSM exists to expose the hypocrisy in religious Dogma.
I don’t exactly know what you are referring to with the quote “…mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs”, but the concept of our God has bigger balls comes primarily from George Carlin speaking about the disconnect between religions doctrine and dogma. There is no religious doctrine that states that it is okay to kill people, however, in the religious dogma, not only is it okay to kill people of other faiths, it is encouraged, or at least, it has been in the past, and probably still is in some places. Your ability to see past your religious dogma, is not an ability shared by many of your peers in your religion. They are, or at least seem to be, asleep at the wheel, and they need something highly offensive to wake them up to the flaws right before their eyes.
Sincerely yours,
Pluveus
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And He spake unto them, saying: ‘There shall be some who don’t get it. And there shall be some who really don’t get it. And some there shall be who really, absolutely don’t get it at all, no way, not even a little bit; and unto those shall be given a slap in the face with a sock full of cold custard.’
Wailings 4 xxii
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Wow… Are YOU fucking kidding me?!
Before reading your comment, I had great faith in the future of our world. Alas, in a world where people as unintelligent as you are allowed freedom, there can sadly be no hope.
This religion is quite obviously satirical, designed not as a theory about the creation of the universe or the idea of a religious deity, but instead a carefully designed argument against the eroding ideals of Intelligent Design. I am shocked by the number of people who leave hate mail on this website, stating that we are idiotic for believing in a wad of pasta. It is ridiculous that people can actually think that we believe in the FSM.
Andrea, I hope that you please attempt to become more intelligent so that in the future you will not need to be corrected by fourteen year olds such as myself.
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You are one sadistic person. Who in their right minds goes googling for I’m sorry-messages. You get your kicks out of seeing how other people screw up?
And no, it’s a big spaghetti0waving-Noodle-fight. Your god, the regular human-shaped God is a vengeful God who wants to destroy the world, and ours is just good.
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By the way, if you don’t really believe in the Bible, or in God, and say that your religion is flawed, that makes you more Pastafarian than Christian.
You’d better believe it. You say so yourself, you don’t believe in human shaped God. Guess what his real shape is. Ow yeah.
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Yes, we are “Fucking kidding you”.
This is all an elaborate joke at your expense.
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If it weren’t for so many uptight religious nuts in the world (Note, I said “religious nuts” not Holy Rollers or Jesus Freaks) then this world would be a better place. And they are present in all religions.
When more people have been slaughtered in the name of “god” than in EVERY SINGLE TERRITORIAL DISPUTE IN THE WORLD COMBINED, there is a problem. If you want to practice your religion, or even better yet, practice your FAITH, then I have no problem with that. When you start trying to inject your religion into a nations politics and medical practice, then I take very personal exception to that. Religions have been dictating what is “good” for the common man for nearly as long as the human race has been around, whether it be the worship of the elements, the weather patterns, or just some superfluous entity.
Yes, we call him The Great Ragu, but there is JUST as much proof that a Noodly Entity such as the FSM exists than any other deity in recorded history. The only difference is the number of human beings that have been sacrificed to prove it.
Please note that these are the thoughts and opinions of me, myself, and I and no one should take these words to stand for the beliefs of anyone other than those I have stated above. Any inference that my statement means anything more than what I have said indicates that you have pasta for brains and should seek medical attention immediately.
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Of course your god isn’t in human form, he’s made of pasta!
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Admitting that your religion is flawed means you clearly aren’t very Christian. You must learn to embrace his noodly goodness; for he is the one true God. There aren’t any other gods. There simply can’t be. Especially once you realise he does in fact have the biggest balls.
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RAmen.
o o
~`OO’~
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“You must be fucking kidding me”
Kidding maybe, but not fucking.
“I know god has no physical form and it is just a state to help people understand better what is beyond our brain capabilities to understand certain matters, but a wad of spaghetti, well, just doesn’t cut it for me.”
Maybe the invisible pink unicorn suits you better. :)
“So this is what it’s all about? It’s all a big prick-waving dick-fight? ”
If so, then I lost, because I have none. :( Don’t say things like that or I cry.
“and form my own opinion of what the representatives of God are trying to tell us. So far, I got to “Love one another and love yourself”.”
Hehe, sounds as if their statements are very unclear. Are you sure they want to say that or is it what you wish they would want to say?
May His Noodly Appendage touch you and spread pure love over you like a pink fluffy blanket.
RAmen
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You know this site is 100% sarcasm, right?
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Can I say, “completely missed the point”? This lady is aware of their God not being detectable, but at the same time, fails to see our satire of, “then it could be a flying spaghetti monster, for all we care”?
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Wow….Anyways…
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In fact, there’s nothing wrong with the moral “Love one another and love yourself”. We found that quite true. That has nothing, unfortunately, to do with our cause. The Kansas letter obviously states that the main reason why we don’t want Intelligent Design taught as science is that it’s not scientific! There’s nothing observable about God or the Creator, so how can one possibly allow that to be taught as science, a field of observable and detectable?
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In fact, for all that science cares about, Intelligent Design is just as baseless as Thursdayism (everything is destroyed on Wednesday, and re-created on Thursday).
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We KNOW this FSM God is a joke, but just as you’ve stated, we’ll never know if this god is actually human in form or not (although if it’s not physical, we can’t make any predictions). According to science, though, our theory of Intelligent Design is just as good (and bad) as Christians Intelligent Design. If you can see this perspective, you will see why we concede Intelligent Design should not be taught in any science class.
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We have many Christian supporters who already sees this silliness and seriousness of this issue. You already see the silliness of this; it’s time you see the serious part of the view.
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You want to get technical christianity started out as little more than some obscure jewish cult by some wack job with a god complex and became a “true” religion including persecution and mass murders (by them not to them) after it was altered by the roman emporer Constantine because he was sick of all the fighting taking place and wished to unify rome under one god so he made the holy trinity, to move the pagans to his cause, and every statue of “god” after that era is simply a statue of him, by the way most of the vaticans statues of god were from this era. You dont worship god, you worship constantine, braking your own jewish based commandments, shame on you for stealing other cultures everything for your own personal gain.
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Quote: ” So far, I got to “Love one another and love yourself”. ”
You got that out of the Christian sphere? Your spectacles have some seriously good filtering on them. Can you fix them to tune out other stuff than just hypocrisy, bigotry, self-delusion, sadism, self-righteousness, dogma and fatally flawed logic?
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Wow.
Wait til Andrea finds out our heaven has beer volcanoes and stripper factories.
I think her head might explode.
WWFSMD?
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We actually are “fucking kidding”.
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you need to CHILL OUT!!!
we dont go to your churches spreading hate.
dont do it to us.
R’amen.
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Andrea’s right – pastapomorphism is just a literary device for unsophisticate minds.
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Andrea’s right – pastapomorphism is just a literary device for unsophisticated minds.
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Andrea,
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Just because our FSM doesn’t cut it for you is no reason to attack our religion. Besides, based on what you wrote, you may be close to a conversion. Our beloved Flying Spaghetti Monster would welcome you with open Appendages and you would be bathed in the warmth of His Sauce.
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You admitted that your religion is flawed and that you extracted, “Love one another and love yourself”. The rest is an elaboration of that statement.” This is a nice message that all can agree with. Unfortunately, there is more to Christian practice than that. It is good that you have distanced yourself from the other aspects of your religion. You are only a few steps away from enlightenment. I urge you to give genuine consideration to “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”
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Once you receive the wisdom contained in our Holy Scripture, especially the Eight I’d Really Rather You Didnt’s, you will understand what we do, that religion can be worn lightly, that it doesn’t require you to live your life in fear of “Hell” and that you can accept or reject doctrine (or even the very existence of the FSM) without guilt.
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Open your mind. Join us and be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
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RAmen
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PS Besides, we have a “no risk” guarantee. If it doesn’t work out after the 30 day trial, you can leave with no hard feelings. Your god will probably take you back.
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At least she articulates well
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I’m a bit confused… is she trying to tell us off or just talk about herself and her beliefs? Cause I’m not seeing the point.
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