You must be fucking kidding me

You must be fucking kidding me :| i came across this site while i was googling for innocent “i’m sorry” messages… but the whole idea of having a wad of spaghetti as a god whom you all look up to, is like, sorry to say, disturbing. I know god has no physical form and it is just a state to help people understand better what is beyond our brain capabilities to understand certain matters, but a wad of spaghetti, well, just doesn’t cut it for me.
-Andrea

[and a little while later...]

In the about screen quote: “…mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs”. So this is what it’s all about? It’s all a big prick-waving dick-fight? I’m Christian as well, and as I have stated above, I don’t believe our God is in a human form. Our God got his “human” form because it was much simpler to preach to people about our religion without having to go into detail of what is and what is not a “god”. Simply said, our religion is flawed. Big time. But still, I see beyond that and I see beyond the bible and beyond all the preaching, and form my own opinion of what the representatives of God are trying to tell us. So far, I got to “Love one another and love yourself”. The rest is an elaboration of that statement.

-Andrea

174 Responses to “You must be fucking kidding me”

Pages: « 1 2 3 [4] Show All

  1. 151 - Chippolus - May 2nd, 2008

    You think we are supposed to love each other and ourselves, and keep saying “fucking”… are you just in here cruising for tail? You have no doubt heard of the prowess of the Pastafarian’s Non-Noodly appendage. But you are not ready. Keep reading, and mature a bit, come back and maybe St. John the Blasphemist will toss you a sympathy roll in the hay. He’s a very nice, sympathetic guy.

    You *know* your god has no form, but you are created in his image… you mean JUST that he’s a dumbass? Not physically? Oh, you are a christian that sees all the many flaws, doesn’t really believe but argues with everyone who isn’t christian. Well, THAT makes sense.

    Fizz- Maybe she has penis envy… lol
    Well what else would you wave in a dick fight *rolls eyes* She feels left out, obviously.

    Squingleberg – Her god is not a shapeshifter – he’s hot air.

    Meatballs for All!
    RAmen!

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  2. 152 - Deviled Dog - May 2nd, 2008

    SJS – You wrote “so their God swears, kills, threatens, and scares other humans? Where’s the love?”

    I’m not sure about the swearing but their god does all those other things a lot in the old testament. This is why the church of FSM is so much better. Our god is full of love and complex carbohydrates. He has never lifted a noodle to harm anyone. Plus, if we ever begin the practice of communion, our god will be delicious!

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  3. 153 - ME DUH - May 3rd, 2008

    The idea of having a God who wrote a Bible promoting slavery, sexism, and killing everyone who says a curse word to their parents really disturbs me.
    I’m glad you have the sense to realize that Christianity is flawed.
    You know, I like your beliefs.
    But ours is just as valid and tastes way better (not to mention the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory in Heaven) so I am a Pastafarian.
    No, no, no, it’s not a dick fight. It’s just true. His balls are WAYY bigger than God’s.
    PL&P!!!
    RAmen

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  4. 154 - Big Bone - May 4th, 2008

    I’ve been loving myself for a long time. Which is why I have to wear glasses. FSM doesn’t mind.

    Biggus Bonus

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  5. 155 - Noodlies - May 4th, 2008

    What this is all about is delicious, delicious pasta! Why can;t you accept that?

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  6. 156 - Irate Pirate - May 6th, 2008

    A. What happened to the idea the the Christian god molded people in his own image, And B. The “big prick waveing dick fight” started with Christian Rednecks making fun of the almight fsm because of this giant meat balls. if you saw past the Bible and saw “Love one another and love yourself” which is the premise of our religion, because i havent heard of Fsmism Killing Thousands of people, *cough Crusades.

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  7. 157 - TehGrisp - May 10th, 2008

    ==In the about screen quote: “…mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs”. So this is what it’s all about? It’s all a big prick-waving dick-fight?==

    You’re the one who’s playing the “My God is better than your God because mine isn’t made of spaghetti” card.

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  8. 158 - AeroPastaBuccaneer - May 13th, 2008

    Isn’t “loving yourself” meant to make you go blind and grow hairs on your palms?

    Andrea, as much as you tried to put it across intelligently, I sense a raving christian fundamentalist lurks somewhere just under the surface, be CAREFUL, you might just start taking yourself seriously and run for president…….

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  9. 159 - Zeushas5 - May 20th, 2008

    Yo, BIG logic error. If you ???God???? has no form, at least ours has some type of Balls! I hope your i sorry searches work, because you stupid response JUST WONT CUT IT!

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  10. 160 - ME DUH - May 21st, 2008

    Sorry, but it’s really disturbing that you EAT your god (well Jesus, same thing sort of, I never understood the Holy Trinity thing) and that he tastes like Communion wafers. And then you laugh at us for having a god made of spaghetti. You even drink his blood! Yet you most likely have a fear of vampires, or would if they were real.

    Oh, I just realized I posted here already a month ago. Oh well; I never said anything about Communion.

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  11. 161 - ShadowlessShinobi - May 22nd, 2008

    “see beyond that”?
    To what exactly?
    Surely the god you believe in is omnipresent and therefore anything beyond that is just more of the same. The picture I’m getting is someone who realises the huge flaws in their system and then decides that really there’s something else going on which only they’ve seen and so everything is alright. The blind obeidience of the working christian mind at work once more.

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  12. 162 - Meryn. - May 26th, 2008

    Just another cluster fuck who doesn’t under stand that this website challenges ID authority.

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  13. 163 - Torin - May 27th, 2008

    Where is “God” ever given a human shape?
    I like how there are so many people that are dumb enough not to know the reason behind FSM

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  14. 164 - Sparrow - May 31st, 2008

    good you love everybody.
    on that note, please stop criticizing my religion. It’s offensive.

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  15. 165 - Jamin’ - Jun 2nd, 2008

    “…but a wad of spaghetti, well, just doesn’t cut it for me.”

    I’m glad to hear that. By most etiquette rules, it’s actually considered rude to cut your spaghetti.

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  16. 166 - TheFewTheProudTheMarinara - Jun 5th, 2008

    you KNOW god has no physical form? How do you KNOW that? Because you didn’t see him/her/it?

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  17. 167 - Spaghettilover - Jun 17th, 2008

    Wow! You just contradicted your own religion. “I don’t believe our God is in a human form”. The bible says we were created in gods’ image. The bible also tells you to “love your neighbor”. Somebody needs to do a little more loving and a lot less hating.

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  18. 168 - neonnoodle - Jun 18th, 2008

    Hmmm…..so you somehow know that the God described in your religion does not have any particular form (its just a simplified way of imprinting Christianity into the minds of thick people) and also admit that Christianity is flawed…….and yet you still follow it?! You still call yourself a christian! If you could only realise how stupid you really are!

    Its a shame really because it seems to me that you are actually quite close to breaking free from the insanity that is known as religion and seem to have an almost fully-functioning ability to use reason and logic. Why dont you take the last few steps and denounce that ridiculous “flawed religion” you affiliate yourself with? I particularly despise devoutly religious people but I also dislike people who huddle under the banner of a particular religion but actually dont really believe in it. You are a liar unto yourself foolosh madam.

    As long as other religions plague this world I will always side with the Flying Spaghetti Monster to smite the lunatics. Why dont you come and join us :)

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  19. 169 - TheFewTheProudTheMarinara - Jun 25th, 2008

    Neonnoodle, there are plenty of religious Christians who don’t believe in much of it, but they’e too afraid of being different to break free. Don’t despise them; pity them. Another group to feel sorry for, I suppose, would be those who intentionally try not to rationalize their faith. They literally get upset if someone would ask them why they hold their beliefs. They KNOW all they need to know, and don’t want to be confused by the facts. May the parmesan of the holy FSM be sprinkled upon them. R’Amen.

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  20. 170 - EvolvingBetterPasta - Jun 27th, 2008

    I just want to know how she sees past religion and all that other stuff and still has her faith. They must be giving out great chemically laced wafers where she goes to church. All I was ever forced was littel things that tasted like cardboard and I never had any visions. Must be a chemical imbalance.

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  21. 171 - Tricia C. - Jun 28th, 2008

    This is probably the best critisism Church of the FSM has ever gotten.
    Congrats.
    But your still dense for taking the time to even care about any religion but your own.
    So ya.
    Thank you for being the nicest dick around! :D

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  22. 172 - Garrick McElroy - Jun 22nd, 2009

    Then leave. There was no reason to give us hate-mail, other than the fact that you are insecure in your religion, and are worried that we are going to cause you to realise just how insanely silly your religion is. The Bible preches good things, you know besides the baby killing, mass murdering, judgemental, hypocritical, hell-condemning, holier-than-thou-even-though-I’m-not stuff, yeah it preaches some good stuff. Be kind to your neighbor, love everyone, don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t murder, these are good things to NOT do. However, I wouldn’t consider you Christian. You are one of those that believe the Bible preaches good things, but look past everything else. I hope you get touched soon.

    Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
    -GM
    RAmen

    If you have any questions about, or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net

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  23. 173 - jim - Nov 7th, 2009

    All of these comments and i still pity everyone of you need you be reminded that god is infinite and you cant possibly commrehend the hole thing like the rest of us but thats gotta be the most rediculas comment i ever seen get yourself in check you dont seem to know much about anything read more be more deep. think of it as another dimension when it comes to your spirit cause it exists wheither your dead or alive. love enemies and friends never be afraid of love thats what gods want everyone to know that most of us are stubborn and think its not fair that we cant rule this place well for starters we dont own it it was givin to us look at sin hate marriages abuse in every form then question why god is needed especially right now for everyone

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  24. 174 - Drained and Washed Clean - Dec 30th, 2009

    jim,

    You haven’t noticed that some of the most violent people are religious? Killing those who don’t believe like they do (Inquisitions, Crusades, abortion clinic bombings, current Ireland disputes, current Israel/Muslim conflicts). You religious nuts have been killing people for believing differently than you since the beginning of religion. The world would actually be much better off without religion.

    Oh, and being a Christian doesn’t mean that they don’t sin. It just means that they sin and then think that they are better than anyone because they talked to their invisible sky friend to ask for forgiveness. Congrats. I am a better person now that I am not a Christian.

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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