You must be fucking kidding me

You must be fucking kidding me :| i came across this site while i was googling for innocent “i’m sorry” messages… but the whole idea of having a wad of spaghetti as a god whom you all look up to, is like, sorry to say, disturbing. I know god has no physical form and it is just a state to help people understand better what is beyond our brain capabilities to understand certain matters, but a wad of spaghetti, well, just doesn’t cut it for me.
-Andrea

[and a little while later…]

In the about screen quote: “…mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs”. So this is what it’s all about? It’s all a big prick-waving dick-fight? I’m Christian as well, and as I have stated above, I don’t believe our God is in a human form. Our God got his “human” form because it was much simpler to preach to people about our religion without having to go into detail of what is and what is not a “god”. Simply said, our religion is flawed. Big time. But still, I see beyond that and I see beyond the bible and beyond all the preaching, and form my own opinion of what the representatives of God are trying to tell us. So far, I got to “Love one another and love yourself”. The rest is an elaboration of that statement.

-Andrea

171 Responses to “You must be fucking kidding me”


  1. 1 MBproSauce Apr 23rd, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    so you are a christian, but you think jesus isn’t real? Someone’s about to join the party.

  2. 2 Cap'n' Fettucini Alfredo Apr 23rd, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    Orite. I fail to see your point. Are you capable of realizing there are other view points than yours? We say love one another and yourself, too. Just our God has balls ;]

    Do you ridicule Hindus because many of their deities have many arms?
    Do you ridicule Shintos (not sure if that is what they prefer to be called) because to them, every object has a spirit?
    Do you ridicule other ideas because they’re not yours?

    You claim an invisible, transcendent being with no form created everything and tries to tell people what is right and wrong, and you ridicule us?

    You claim to have seen past Christianity, but you are no better than what Christianity is. Sure, it says it advocates what most would consider to be “good”, but in reality it is a power base, and its’ followers are used to suppress opposing viewpoints. Many have truly embodied the Christian ideals while still being open minded and tolerant. And this goes for all organized religion. With the exception of Buddhists - they’re pretty chill.

    Well Andrea, you seem to be nothing more than a bigot.

    Peace

  3. 3 St John the Blasphemist Apr 23rd, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    “I know god has no physical form and it is just a state to help people understand better what is beyond our brain capabilities to understand certain matters, but a wad of spaghetti, well, just doesn’t cut it for me.”
    .
    Translate this as: “It’s beyond my brain capabilities.”
    .
    St John the Blasphemist
    Saint of Exploding Heads

  4. 4 Meisha Apr 23rd, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    Hi Andrea.

    You miss the point. Its not so much that we worship the FSM. We don’t. It is our alternative to the creationists wanting to make intelligent design to be taught in schools. If one theory is taught, surely all theories of creationism should be taught. Thus, the birth of the FSM. I understand. You took things a little to seriously. This is about a making a point, Andrea. Not about worshiping a god made out of spaghetti, that flies, who made a mountain, made a tree, and made a midgit.

    Have a nice day!

  5. 5 b-pain Apr 23rd, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    I’m sorry you have not seen the light

    may pasta be with you

  6. 6 The Pirate...guy Apr 23rd, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    So…what is your point exactly?

  7. 7 hoss Apr 23rd, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    Whatever. Have you SEEN the size of spaghetti meatballs? Very humbling, indeed.

  8. 8 lilwench Apr 23rd, 2008 at 7:56 pm

    So you admit your “god” is incomprehensible, but you believe in it anyways. And it has to be described in human form because people are too stupid to understand something incomprehensible. And going on about “love” while using the f-word is a contradiction.
    .
    Classic
    .
    I think a Flying Spaghetti Monster with physical, describable properties is much more believable (and tasty) than the xian prototype.

  9. 9 neal Apr 23rd, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    Yes Adrea it is a dick fight, and our GOD is the alpha male in the fight.

    As a matter of fact I would contend you god is the ultimate beta male.

    I base this on a book callled Sperm Wars by Robin Cook. In it he contends that people are not biologically monogamous. The best mating strategy for the human male is to spread his seed far and wide by impregnating as many females as possible. It’s a good strategy because with each release of semen, he produces enough spermatazoa to impregnate the entire female population of planet earth. In short, there no scarcity of reproductive resources so the behavioral predisposition natural selection has selected for males is promiscuity. Or as you might put it: Men are dogs.

    As for the female: her reporductive resources are scarce, she produces only 1 egg a month and she wants to make sure she has the right male impregnate her. What’s the right male-well, that’s complicated. You see if a male impregnates her and then abandons her, odds are she’ll be unable to take care of her and her baby, and they’ll both die. However, just because a guy hangs around does not make his seed prime reproductive material. He may be a beta male-what modern american females refer to as a “nice guy”. He may hang around but his seed may be inferior to the bad boy love ‘em and leave ‘em alpha male type, and, as a consequence, she may waste a lot of time raising a weak kid who won;t live lone enought to reproduce anyway.

    What’s a girl to do? Well Cook suggests that the best solution is for the girl to commit to the beta male and mate with him and when she is most fertile mate surreptitiously with the alpha male and become pregnant by him. That way the alpha males sperm and the beta males sperm have a sperm war in her vagina with hopefully the alpha males sperm winning. The beta male (read husband) thinks the little darling offspring is his and hangs around and raises the alpha males kid who thrives and lives to father the next generation. Isn’t natural selection sneaky?

    Anyway, an extension of this theory is that God was invented to enforce fidelity by beta males. If there was an omniscient but sexless male (a “one true friend” in the terms of one of this blog’s posters), then the odds were increased that the beta males’ females would remain faithful when he had his back turned. Why because the woman can no longer say to herself “no one will ever know” if Yaweh is watching over her at all times and punishing all transgressions.

    And what better watcher than Yaweh. Why? He possesses none of the attributes of an alpha male.
    Think about it. Does he 1) Get lots of women? Of course not, even his only begotten son, was begotten without benefit of sexual intercourse.

    Is he a leader of men? Well, consider the case of the Israelites who wander 40 year aroun the Sinai before he was able to lead them to the “Promised Land”. I’m pretty sure any halfway decent leader could get his people there is an couple of weeks. Hell with the aid of GPS and a well maintained Mercedes I would probably drive it in 12 hours.

    How about a protector of Loved Ones: Please don’t everyone guffaw at once. When he wasn’t getting his own kid nailed to a tree, he was drowning all but eight people, or burying whole towns in fire and brimstone. And he sure hasn’t done a lot for his chosen people, when you consider the
    Babalonian captivity, Roman Occupation, Spanish Inquisition and the Holocost.

    Finally, How emotionall normal is he? Well what kind of drama queen tells his best friend that he needs to kill his kid to stay friends with him, and then relents because he was “just testing”.

    In short, your god is an evolutionary maladaption, and to the extent you follow the reporducive strategy mandated by Judeo-Christainity, you insure that humankind will produce loser beta kids. That why we need to win the “dick fight” with Yaweh.

    Ramen

  10. 10 Joe Marinara Apr 23rd, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    Well said, Andrea, and with excellent grammar, to boot. That’s a luxury you critics often don’t afford us. That said, go back and read the history of this site. You got lazy and clearly fired off your message without knowing the whole story. Sorry, whole fucking story.

  11. 11 First prospective cook for the SSS FSM Apr 23rd, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    Be careful Andrea. You border on rational and intelligent. If your priest finds out you will probably get the pirate “boot”.

    ‘… but you are always welcome in the mighty, tentacly arms of the spaghetti monster.

    Keep reading and I think you just might get it!! Seriously. You are very close! Good luck!

  12. 12 Sarah Apr 23rd, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    Yes, as a matter of fact we are kidding you.

  13. 13 Fizzmick Pa Chee Apr 23rd, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    Andrea, When I hear a girl say fucking and kidding in the same sentence, I guess you think the penis is too large. My suggestion is that if you are afraid of ‘taking it all in’, go slowly at first and find a comfortable position. You will be pleasantly surprised at what you can pleasurably accomodate with the right partner. - Fizz

  14. 14 Griff Apr 23rd, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    Our God got his “human” form because it was much simpler to preach to people about our religion without having to go into detail of what is and what is not a “god”.

    So I guess you could say lots of other things in your religion have been.. ‘Dumbed down’.. or perhaps, ‘Skewed and changed’?

    You are just angry Cause FSM hasn’t touched you with his noodly appendage yet.

  15. 15 GodlessHeathen Apr 23rd, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    I would just like to state for the record that I am neither fucking nor kidding you at the moment.
    But let’s leave those options open, OK? Arrrr!

  16. 16 m610 Apr 23rd, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    Actually, I don’t blame you for getting upset at what you read here, considering your stated position on Christianity. But the thing is, this whole movement was inspired by and is still fueled primarily by the religious wackos who are trying to push their insipid, hateful, and dangerous version of Christianity on everyone else. That said, many people here, but not all, are non-religious, and they don’t feel compelled to cut any religion any slack. They are all variations on a theme, after all, and not a very nice theme, even if good things can be found in some of them.
    .
    One more thing. Being a religious person you are probably more inclined to “believe” and take things at face value than to question the validity or original intent of statements such as “God is love” and “My God has bigger balls than your God.” Otherwise, you would have seen what people here were really saying in all that “bigger balls” stuff, and what people in your circle are actually saying when they say “God is love.”

  17. 17 Fizzmick Pa Chee Apr 23rd, 2008 at 9:48 pm

    Andrea, A lot of people write that they, “came across this site”. I am formally asking the women of legal age to please post links to pictures of them doing so. -Fizz

  18. 18 UhhKris Apr 23rd, 2008 at 10:00 pm

    I still don’t understand why Christians feel so threatened towards things that aren’t…. Christiany…

  19. 19 fiberglassdolphin Apr 23rd, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    The Christian god does not look like a human? He just takes a human form so we can comprehend him or something? What about the whole creating man in his own image thing? Surely some amorphous blob god created man in his infinite boredom, and then made him the central, most important part of the physical world. If you don’t think that humans are intended by God to be the center of the universe (after the jealous God of course), then you don’t belong in any Abrahamic faiths. Also if he’s an amorphous blob, I think he could be a spaghetti monster.

    “I…form my own opinion of what the representatives of God are trying to tell us”

    Yes, pretty common amongst the modern religious (although many don’t admit it). Some of us cut out the middle man and form opinions without paying heed to superstitious, sanctimonious holy men. I believe the golden rule is a no-brainer in every culture, whether religion tells them about it or not.

  20. 20 StJason Apr 23rd, 2008 at 10:10 pm

    We get a RSS feed for everything, and for hate mail, it is possible to get a feed for everything but the hate mail? That’s pretty boring stuff.

  21. 21 The Josh Apr 23rd, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    Umm…wasnt there this whole thing in the bible about Adam being created in God’s form? Yea, pretty sure that was in there somewhere, maybe the beginning.

  22. 22 Kallelej Apr 23rd, 2008 at 11:06 pm

    You must be fucking kidding me..

  23. 23 Valis Apr 24th, 2008 at 12:52 am

    “…what is beyond our brain capabilities to understand…”

    Hey, speak for yourself! My brain is perfectly capable of understanding, thank you very much.

  24. 24 Ron Hager Apr 24th, 2008 at 1:26 am

    Dear Andrea
    You are very confused. Fucking is what the leaders of some other religions do to their followers. Especially the cute little altar boys get fucked a lot. But never, not one time, has a Pastafarian leader been accused, let alone convicted of fucking their followers. Pastafarians are the most honest, decent and most accepting human beings on this planet. Pastafarians fuck no one except those to whom they are lovingly committed. And they always finish last! Please have as much respect for Pastafarians as they have for you.
    Yours in loving fucking
    Ron

  25. 25 First Mate S-Hams Apr 24th, 2008 at 1:28 am

    Huh…I wasn’t aware that GOD presented himself in human form in the first place….

    Pretty sure God and Jesus …if they exist in your mind…were two seperate people…

    You should probably get your facts straight next time so you don’t sound like a dumbass…

    May you be touched by his noodly appendage.
    RAmen

  26. 26 Crabbcakes Apr 24th, 2008 at 1:37 am

    This one is legit because someone don’t english good. Probably don’t arithmetic good either just like I wrote in the first sentence it just don’t sums up cause theys subject matter is contridictory…gots physical features at the end and in the begining God didn’t have know balls at all.

  27. 27 Crabbcakes Apr 24th, 2008 at 1:40 am

    first time i left a message just wanted to see if it popped up mmmmm cookies it knows me now

  28. 28 mentos Apr 24th, 2008 at 2:39 am

    Come back and write another hate mail when you get the point of this site.

  29. 29 brendan Apr 24th, 2008 at 2:44 am

    i was expecting more swearing due to the title of the hate mail :(

  30. 30 David H Apr 24th, 2008 at 3:12 am

    And He spake unto them, saying: ‘There shall be some who don’t get it. And there shall be some who really don’t get it. And some there shall be who really, absolutely don’t get it at all, no way, not even a little bit; and unto those shall be given a slap in the face with a sock full of cold custard’

    Wailings 4 xxii

  31. 31 Pluveus Apr 24th, 2008 at 3:15 am

    Mademoiselle/Madame,

    You seem to be an intelligent individual, therefore I am writing this as a letter. The fact that you found the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s appearance as we interpret it to be disturbing is exactly what we were going for. This church, this parody religion exists to make people question their beliefs, and as all satirists know, the best way to make people think about what they believe, and question what they are raised to think is to provide a hyperbole. The people most hard-wired to believe what they have been taught will look upon the FSM and scoff without any other thought, but someone with the potential for an open mind will see this outlandish example of extremity, and stop to think about it. God, being omnipresent, could if it so chose, be a Flying Spaghetti Monster. The visage of the FSM causes people with the potential for open-mindedness to question the anthropocentrism of a humanoid God. If you don’t believe that God is a Flying Spaghetti Monster, that’s fine, you are entitled to your belief, however, we respectfully ask that you do the same for ours. The disconnect that usually occurs, is that Christians, primarily used because they are the ones that write hate mail, and reside in the countries that provide hits to the site, want us to respect their belief that God, a giant, omnipotent, omnipresent, human controls everything that happens in the world, but they refuse to respect the fact that a giant, omnipotent, omnipresent, Flying Spaghetti Monster influences our lives. The FSM exists to expose the hypocrisy in religious Dogma.

    I don’t exactly know what you are referring to with the quote “…mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs”, but the concept of our God has bigger balls comes primarily from George Carlin speaking about the disconnect between religions doctrine and dogma. There is no religious doctrine that states that it is okay to kill people, however, in the religious dogma, not only is it okay to kill people of other faiths, it is encouraged, or at least, it has been in the past, and probably still is in some places. Your ability to see past your religious dogma, is not an ability shared by many of your peers in your religion. They are, or at least seem to be, asleep at the wheel, and they need something highly offensive to wake them up to the flaws right before their eyes.

    Sincerely yours,

    Pluveus

  32. 32 David H Apr 24th, 2008 at 3:16 am

    And He spake unto them, saying: ‘There shall be some who don’t get it. And there shall be some who really don’t get it. And some there shall be who really, absolutely don’t get it at all, no way, not even a little bit; and unto those shall be given a slap in the face with a sock full of cold custard.’

    Wailings 4 xxii

  33. 33 Harry Apr 24th, 2008 at 3:16 am

    Wow… Are YOU fucking kidding me?!

    Before reading your comment, I had great faith in the future of our world. Alas, in a world where people as unintelligent as you are allowed freedom, there can sadly be no hope.

    This religion is quite obviously satirical, designed not as a theory about the creation of the universe or the idea of a religious deity, but instead a carefully designed argument against the eroding ideals of Intelligent Design. I am shocked by the number of people who leave hate mail on this website, stating that we are idiotic for believing in a wad of pasta. It is ridiculous that people can actually think that we believe in the FSM.

    Andrea, I hope that you please attempt to become more intelligent so that in the future you will not need to be corrected by fourteen year olds such as myself.

  34. 34 Bucken Apr 24th, 2008 at 3:45 am

    You are one sadistic person. Who in their right minds goes googling for I’m sorry-messages. You get your kicks out of seeing how other people screw up?
    And no, it’s a big spaghetti0waving-Noodle-fight. Your god, the regular human-shaped God is a vengeful God who wants to destroy the world, and ours is just good.
    .
    By the way, if you don’t really believe in the Bible, or in God, and say that your religion is flawed, that makes you more Pastafarian than Christian.
    You’d better believe it. You say so yourself, you don’t believe in human shaped God. Guess what his real shape is. Ow yeah.

  35. 35 Captain Shplane Apr 24th, 2008 at 4:05 am

    Yes, we are “Fucking kidding you”.

    This is all an elaborate joke at your expense.

  36. 36 Sounds like someone needs to get laid... Apr 24th, 2008 at 4:17 am

    If it weren’t for so many uptight religious nuts in the world (Note, I said “religious nuts” not Holy Rollers or Jesus Freaks) then this world would be a better place. And they are present in all religions.

    When more people have been slaughtered in the name of “god” than in EVERY SINGLE TERRITORIAL DISPUTE IN THE WORLD COMBINED, there is a problem. If you want to practice your religion, or even better yet, practice your FAITH, then I have no problem with that. When you start trying to inject your religion into a nations politics and medical practice, then I take very personal exception to that. Religions have been dictating what is “good” for the common man for nearly as long as the human race has been around, whether it be the worship of the elements, the weather patterns, or just some superfluous entity.

    Yes, we call him The Great Ragu, but there is JUST as much proof that a Noodly Entity such as the FSM exists than any other deity in recorded history. The only difference is the number of human beings that have been sacrificed to prove it.

    Please note that these are the thoughts and opinions of me, myself, and I and no one should take these words to stand for the beliefs of anyone other than those I have stated above. Any inference that my statement means anything more than what I have said indicates that you have pasta for brains and should seek medical attention immediately.

  37. 37 Pastor Conchiglie Apr 24th, 2008 at 4:42 am

    Of course your god isn’t in human form, he’s made of pasta!
    .
    Admitting that your religion is flawed means you clearly aren’t very Christian. You must learn to embrace his noodly goodness; for he is the one true God. There aren’t any other gods. There simply can’t be. Especially once you realise he does in fact have the biggest balls.
    .
    RAmen.
    o o
    ~`OO’~

  38. 38 stanze Apr 24th, 2008 at 5:28 am

    “You must be fucking kidding me”
    Kidding maybe, but not fucking.

    “I know god has no physical form and it is just a state to help people understand better what is beyond our brain capabilities to understand certain matters, but a wad of spaghetti, well, just doesn’t cut it for me.”

    Maybe the invisible pink unicorn suits you better. :)

    “So this is what it’s all about? It’s all a big prick-waving dick-fight? ”

    If so, then I lost, because I have none. :( Don’t say things like that or I cry.

    “and form my own opinion of what the representatives of God are trying to tell us. So far, I got to “Love one another and love yourself”.”

    Hehe, sounds as if their statements are very unclear. Are you sure they want to say that or is it what you wish they would want to say?
    May His Noodly Appendage touch you and spread pure love over you like a pink fluffy blanket.
    RAmen

  39. 39 DaMan Apr 24th, 2008 at 5:53 am

    You know this site is 100% sarcasm, right?

  40. 40 Tar Apr 24th, 2008 at 6:28 am

    Can I say, “completely missed the point”? This lady is aware of their God not being detectable, but at the same time, fails to see our satire of, “then it could be a flying spaghetti monster, for all we care”?
    .
    Wow….Anyways…
    .
    In fact, there’s nothing wrong with the moral “Love one another and love yourself”. We found that quite true. That has nothing, unfortunately, to do with our cause. The Kansas letter obviously states that the main reason why we don’t want Intelligent Design taught as science is that it’s not scientific! There’s nothing observable about God or the Creator, so how can one possibly allow that to be taught as science, a field of observable and detectable?
    .
    In fact, for all that science cares about, Intelligent Design is just as baseless as Thursdayism (everything is destroyed on Wednesday, and re-created on Thursday).
    .
    We KNOW this FSM God is a joke, but just as you’ve stated, we’ll never know if this god is actually human in form or not (although if it’s not physical, we can’t make any predictions). According to science, though, our theory of Intelligent Design is just as good (and bad) as Christians Intelligent Design. If you can see this perspective, you will see why we concede Intelligent Design should not be taught in any science class.
    .
    We have many Christian supporters who already sees this silliness and seriousness of this issue. You already see the silliness of this; it’s time you see the serious part of the view.

  41. 41 James D King of Pirates Apr 24th, 2008 at 6:44 am

    You want to get technical christianity started out as little more than some obscure jewish cult by some wack job with a god complex and became a “true” religion including persecution and mass murders (by them not to them) after it was altered by the roman emporer Constantine because he was sick of all the fighting taking place and wished to unify rome under one god so he made the holy trinity, to move the pagans to his cause, and every statue of “god” after that era is simply a statue of him, by the way most of the vaticans statues of god were from this era. You dont worship god, you worship constantine, braking your own jewish based commandments, shame on you for stealing other cultures everything for your own personal gain.

  42. 42 GarlicRice Apr 24th, 2008 at 6:57 am

    Quote: ” So far, I got to “Love one another and love yourself”. ”

    You got that out of the Christian sphere? Your spectacles have some seriously good filtering on them. Can you fix them to tune out other stuff than just hypocrisy, bigotry, self-delusion, sadism, self-righteousness, dogma and fatally flawed logic?

  43. 43 Mac N. Cheez Apr 24th, 2008 at 6:59 am

    Wow.

    Wait til Andrea finds out our heaven has beer volcanoes and stripper factories.

    I think her head might explode.

    WWFSMD?

  44. 44 Will Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:05 am

    We actually are “fucking kidding”.

  45. 45 alex fiorini hates haters. Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:08 am

    you need to CHILL OUT!!!
    we dont go to your churches spreading hate.
    dont do it to us.
    R’amen.

  46. 46 dad Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:14 am

    Andrea’s right - pastapomorphism is just a literary device for unsophisticate minds.

  47. 47 dad Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:15 am

    Andrea’s right - pastapomorphism is just a literary device for unsophisticated minds.

  48. 48 BlackBard Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:20 am

    Andrea,
    .
    Just because our FSM doesn’t cut it for you is no reason to attack our religion. Besides, based on what you wrote, you may be close to a conversion. Our beloved Flying Spaghetti Monster would welcome you with open Appendages and you would be bathed in the warmth of His Sauce.
    .
    You admitted that your religion is flawed and that you extracted, “Love one another and love yourself”. The rest is an elaboration of that statement.” This is a nice message that all can agree with. Unfortunately, there is more to Christian practice than that. It is good that you have distanced yourself from the other aspects of your religion. You are only a few steps away from enlightenment. I urge you to give genuine consideration to “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”
    .
    Once you receive the wisdom contained in our Holy Scripture, especially the Eight I’d Really Rather You Didnt’s, you will understand what we do, that religion can be worn lightly, that it doesn’t require you to live your life in fear of “Hell” and that you can accept or reject doctrine (or even the very existence of the FSM) without guilt.
    .
    Open your mind. Join us and be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
    .
    RAmen
    .
    PS Besides, we have a “no risk” guarantee. If it doesn’t work out after the 30 day trial, you can leave with no hard feelings. Your god will probably take you back.

  49. 49 Rin Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:29 am

    At least she articulates well

  50. 50 Rin Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:31 am

    I’m a bit confused… is she trying to tell us off or just talk about herself and her beliefs? Cause I’m not seeing the point.

  51. 51 Jay Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:32 am

    why the hell is a pirate not a humen u seem to make it seem that pirates are a diffrent species what the hell are you on about they are humans never evolved from them they just got smarter you moron thanks for your time

  52. 52 tom Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:33 am

    what is a god, it sure isn’t a ball of spaghetti, could you tell me what god really stands for.

  53. 53 ET, the Extra Terrestrial Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:33 am

    Dear Andrea:
    Here is a link to the definition of satire at dictionary.com. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/satire Copy it into your browser, hit enter, and read.

    ET

  54. 54 Cape Buffalo Apr 24th, 2008 at 8:03 am

    Andrea, no one believes in the spaghetti monster, the site is a parody. Im glad you see beyond christianity and all its flaws. Im so happy for you. Now take the final step, see beyond religion itself. You already understand that you can be happy and have morals without christianity and a dogmatic god, so search yourself and ask yourself why you keep believing in god at all. Take the final step and become an atheist. Join me on the darkside.

  55. 55 Iron Mike Apr 24th, 2008 at 8:15 am

    Fuck no.

  56. 56 The Josh Apr 24th, 2008 at 8:25 am

    Actually, its a ball waving ball fight, if you want to get technical.

  57. 57 Michael Apr 24th, 2008 at 8:31 am

    You have to have FAITH to believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You must allow his noodly appendage into your life!

  58. 58 Pirate Cow Apr 24th, 2008 at 8:40 am

    You know, considering how evolved this person’s thinking seems to be, they can be pretty clueless sometimes… like now. The site makes fairly clear what FSM is and isn’t.

  59. 59 Skeptical Monkey Apr 24th, 2008 at 8:50 am

    I wonder if he realizes that religion sounds just as ridiculous to atheists and many skeptics?

    I probably said “You must be fucking kidding me” when I was first introduced to ‘the big guy in the sky.’

  60. 60 PirateGator Apr 24th, 2008 at 9:12 am

    So what your saying is you only take the parts of Christianity that you like and agree with. What’s the point of being a Christian if just throw away the parts you don’t like? Well at least you didn’t condemn us all to a burn in hell…..

  61. 61 Nextdoor Girl Apr 24th, 2008 at 9:20 am

    Andrea..

    I am just a suprised as you are. I heard my colleagues talk about the Theory of the Spagheti Monster and I thought they were kidding me. When I came across this, I just laughed my arse off. Do these people really expect the world to believe such non-sense?? I am a Christian myself and I guess as crazy as the theory of evolution is, I SWEAR the noodly appendage hogwash is just CRAP!!!

  62. 62 Stephanie Apr 24th, 2008 at 9:22 am

    I don’t see how a “wad of spaghetti” is any less ridiculous than “a man being bled to death to save all of humanity from the horrible sin of two naked people having eaten an apple given to them by a talking snake.”
    .
    At least we don’t kill anybody.

  63. 63 Nextdoor Girl Apr 24th, 2008 at 9:25 am

    What the FUCK???????????????/ LOL……

  64. 64 Jim Apr 24th, 2008 at 10:42 am

    Every time I read one of these rants I get the giggles!

    These idiots are an endless source of humor.

  65. 65 Pathiefarian Wench Apr 24th, 2008 at 10:47 am

    Andrea
    “Simply said, our religion is flawed. Big time. But still, I see beyond that and I see beyond the bible and beyond all the preaching, and form my own opinion of what the representatives of God are trying to tell us. So far, I got to “Love one another and love yourself”. The rest is an elaboration of that statement.”

    If every Xian out there were capable of reflection and self awareness on the same level as you, there wouldn’t be a problem with fundies and ID in schools.

    That said…
    “I know god has no physical form and it is just a state to help people understand better what is beyond our brain capabilities to understand certain matters”

    I find that science works really well for me when I’m trying to understand things beyond my immediate comprehension. I also try meditating on philosophy, thinking about morality and ethics, and talking with people about what we all think. I find that this constructive approach to learning has really worked to open my mind and has helped me understand the intangible universe. What’s god got to do with it?

    I prefer my deities noodly, and with beer.

  66. 66 Squingleberg Apr 24th, 2008 at 10:50 am

    …So what you are saying is…god is a shapeshifter? If that is the case then we may have to refraze the “our God has larger balls than theirs” phrase. Becuase if your God can shapeshift he can just adjust his ball size at will, and thats not exactly fair.
    .
    Andrea, do you know what a satire is? If you are so wise and can “I see beyond that and I see beyond the bible and beyond all the preaching”, then why can’t you see through a bunch of silly jibs at the Christian and/or Religious community trying to put Intelligent Design in our classrooms.
    .
    Oh and about your religiou. Whats all this bullshit about “forming your own opinion” about god and yet you still say you are a christian. You say you see through all the bullshit? No, you just dont have the meat balls to up and say, “Yeah, I believe in some crazy shit, so what?” You realize the Christian religion makes very little acutal sence. So you make up your own shit to justify religion. Wake up, its all a sham.
    .
    Squingleberg

  67. 67 Docpelletier Apr 24th, 2008 at 11:11 am

    Yeah…I can feel the love in the title of your post.

  68. 68 Ryan Apr 24th, 2008 at 11:43 am

    Andrea,
    I’m glad to see someone is actually posting in the hate-mail who is not completely bashing fsm and has gone ahead and thought about what they were going to say before posting. However. “Love one another and love yourself” is an awesome quote symbolizing what should definitely be. It’s sad to think about how people in the dark past of christianity have totaly blew by this simple idea. I don’t think I have to go into the crusades or the inquisition but clearly love was not in the air at that present time as much as decaying flesh was. Similarly, i find it ironic that everyone says christians love everyone when they have sexism in their own church. They don’t even let the nuns teach what they have devoted their life to as they let the priests. Strange eh? I am not bashing christianity seeing as the ‘good book’ has many good moral stories in it… but i think you are seriously overlooking fsm as a whole, and letting his noodley appendages take away from what he actually stands for. And if you cannot take this joke for what it is… a joke… “…mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs”, then i don’t know what else to say to you.
    RAmen

    Ryan

  69. 69 Jeff Apr 24th, 2008 at 12:00 pm

    I love myself once a day…….You’re missing the point.

  70. 70 Dusty Apr 24th, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    Judging by the last line of her argument, I think Andrea may be a closeted Pastafarian.
    RAmen

    -Dusty.

  71. 71 Nate Apr 24th, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Well, to us a 50 ft. giant living in the clouds, or an invisible all powerful deity is disturbing, how could you believe in that? ew yucky.

    rAmen

  72. 72 Tapio Apr 24th, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    i dont under stand you!? stop sending us crap!

  73. 73 Charrrrles (a pirate) Apr 24th, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    “I know god has no physical form…”

    Wow…you know that? Or do you just believe it? There’s a difference.

    - C
    I want to believe.

  74. 74 Tommy Apr 24th, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    “Simply said, our religion is flawed. Big time. But still, I see beyond that and I see beyond the bible and beyond all the preaching, and form my own opinion of what the representatives of God are trying to tell us.”
    Sounds to me like you aren’t really a Christian. I mean, after all, a true Christian takes the Bible as the ultimate unblemished word of God, right? I think alot of fundamentalists would condemn you for using free thought, yet you would still be associated, and maybe even advocate, the irrationalities of the fundamentalist movement. Try to take the next step and let go of your religous conceptions. Because honestly, while the FSM is outrageously unbelievable (and purposefully so), in its coneptual framework it is not very different from your God.

  75. 75 Arg Sayer Apr 24th, 2008 at 1:47 pm

    “i came across this site while i was googling for innocent “i’m sorry” messages”

    Actually, if someone is apologizing, doesn’t that imply that they’re guilty of something that deserves an apology? Not so innocent, I’d say. Or am I going off on an irrelevent tangent?

    “…a wad of spaghetti as a god whom you all look up to…”

    Mostly I look down on him when he’s sitting on my plate waiting for me to partake of him. (I didn’t intend for that to sound dirty. I’m innocent. Sorry.)

    Ramen

    P.S. There’s this key on the keyboard called “shift.” Play around with it, see what it does.

  76. 76 BlackFeathered Wench Apr 24th, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    I love myself. Does that make me Christian?

  77. 77 Sean Boyd Apr 24th, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    Well, if your god has no physical form (true, since he doesn’t exist), and ours is a Flying Spaghetti Monster with meatballs (also true, because clearly he created the universe) then it follows directly that our god’s balls are, in fact, larger than your god’s balls. QED.

    Yes, your religion is flawed. That’s because the FSM is the creator of the universe. But try our religion out. As Jim Jones might have said, were he Pastafarian, drink the Kool Aid. Or marinara, if you’d rather. Check us out for 30 days. If you don’t like us, your old religion will almost certainly take you back. After all, Andrea, we agree with you. Loving self and others should be the basis of modern society, in some sense. And with the loose moral standards our Noodly Master teaches, there should be plenty of opportunities for both.

  78. 78 David J Apr 24th, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    I know god has no physical form

    that’s too bad, andrea, because he could be composed of deliciously cooked pasta (with white sauce!), but instead you opted for a formless, dickless, full-roaming vapor.

    Seriously, how can you say you know god has no physical form? Don’t you mean that you believe it? Epistemologically, I think you’re a bit confused on the validity and origin of knowledge and what it means to know something vs. believing something.

  79. 79 Nick Apr 24th, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    Our God blah blah blah Yahweh blah blah blah Allah blah blah blah…. they all performed miracles and have chosen prophets and promise everlasting life and and SPEAK TO THE PEOPLE and all have different angles. Don’t you realize that the point of things like FSM is to point out the lack of foresight or the ability of common Christians to question their faith?

    This is based on some idiot arguing to teach Intelligent Design next to Evolution. One is quantifiable and one has no basis other than some intangible concept known as faith. The point of FSM is that if you have no basis for your argument other than I JUST BELIEVE and THE BIBLE SAYS… or the Qu ran says… or the Torah says… or the GOOD NEWS says… then you cannot teach that in a scientific course! If Darwin wrote a book and said well here is my opinion (which he did) and all of a sudden it got a following of those who believed it without questioning it and testing his hypothesis (which was not accurate since he had no concept of genetic material or random mutations) then intelligent design and the Theory of Evolution could be taught side by side. If you want to understand what FSM is about look in a mirror because you are ranting just like the rest of the crazy Christians.

    If you can believe that God created all things on Earth, then I can believe FSM created all things on earth.

  80. 80 Stephen Deloney Apr 24th, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    So do they not teach satire in American schools any more?

  81. 81 Cottura 5 Minuti Apr 24th, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    Nice to see someone modest sending mail.

  82. 82 Reggie Dixon Apr 24th, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    Andrea - firstly I’d suggest washing out your god-fearing mouth, secondly would you happen to have any evidence of your beliefs? - you accept that they are “Flawed big time” but seem to fail to go that one step further and accept that it is a bunch of ancient fairy tales. How is the FSM any less true ?

  83. 83 Advantageous Mongoose Apr 24th, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    I love you too Andrea

  84. 84 Viteh Apr 24th, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    Well, if its just about “Love one another and love yourself”, whats wrong with the pastafarians? Dont we all love each other too?

  85. 85 Taytayflan Apr 24th, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    O. M. FSM.

    We have a Christian who is willing to admit that religion can be flawed.

    (Claps)

    RAmen.

    *Sorry if this double posts*

  86. 86 La Chat Heliotrope Apr 24th, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    It’s such a pity when people get it right in the title, and then lose the point entirely.

  87. 87 His Holiness Robert Paulson the Ziti Apr 24th, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    Look up “sarcasm” and “satire” in a dictionary.

  88. 88 Robert Paulson Apr 24th, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    Hrm … have you heard of sarcasm and/or satire?

  89. 89 Rio Veradonir Apr 24th, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    Andrea, don’t you think you might be taking this parody religion too seriously? I’m glad to hear that you don’t take your real religion very seriously, either. Kudos for that.

  90. 90 sunevohawkd Apr 24th, 2008 at 6:56 pm

    you are going to miss out beer volcanoes and stripper factories.

    i hope you are touched by his noodly apendage soon!!!

    Peace,Love,and Pirates.

  91. 91 AL Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    Please. In time all will come to understand the 8 “I’d really rather you didn’ts.” Before such a judgement please search for the video. I suggest a youtube search on 8 and pastafarian.

    Ramen!

  92. 92 davehead Apr 24th, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    look beyond the bible and beyond all that and what do you have? nothing. if your not open minded enough to understand the point of all this then dont bother mocking it.

    ramen.

  93. 93 I Drive a YAR-is Apr 24th, 2008 at 8:10 pm

    So you say that your religion is flawed. Big time. But you see beyond that. I bet when your boyfriend/husband hits you, you see through it and know he loves you right? Granted it’s screwed up but you are smart enough to know that he really loves you. As for your interpitation of God’s form, I have no problem with people who believe the bible whole heartedly 100% word of god. Thats fine crazy people are consistent. What I can’t stand is when people pick and choose what parts are metaphores and what parts are literal. It can only be one or the other, either it’s the word of God or the word of Man. My money is on the later.

  94. 94 Andrew Apr 24th, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    Andrea, you are some kind of special. This entire religion was created to point out the fallacies in Christianity. Granted we all love his noodely appendage, but you are just like most Christians I have spoken to about this; you become offended immediately by this whole idea. Just relax and meet us all at the Beer Volcano.

    I just hope you will one day see his noodely wonder.

    Ramen

  95. 95 guardbear Apr 24th, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    it’s not nice to use potty words on a religious site. In fact, if your such a devoute Christian, you’d know that Jesus preached tolerance and love. Not getting a whole lot of love from your post.

  96. 96 jeremykeys Apr 24th, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    Andrea, I hope you come back and rebut this but how do you know without a shadow of a doubt that God is formless? You’re right about the love factor but you entirely missed the boat on one thing. This is a parody religion. It’s all about fun!

  97. 97 guardbear Apr 24th, 2008 at 9:49 pm

    you know it’s not nice to use potty words on a public forum like that… Great way to represent your religion.

  98. 98 Cleetus Van Damme Apr 24th, 2008 at 11:42 pm

    Andrea, you sound like a smart young lady who has her head together. Your comments above are well thought out and certainly welcome here. So - would you like to come over to my house for dinner sometime and get touched inside by my noodly appendage? Luv, Cleetus.

  99. 99 Captain Noodle Apr 25th, 2008 at 1:37 am

    I bet this bitch is single.

  100. 100 Francesc Apr 25th, 2008 at 3:42 am

    “the whole idea of having a wad of spaghetti as a god whom you all look up to, is like, sorry to say, disturbing. I know god has no physical form”
    .
    I think that a wad of spaghetti is better than no form at all, but of course, that’s only my opinion. We are not so different, our god is also invisible, all-powerfull and all-knowing (except when he is drunk); he is our creator and wants the best for us. Only he is a lot more kind than yours. He doesn’t kills anyone. So I hope that you will be touched by His Noddly appendage and you will see the light of knowledge
    .
    “I don’t believe our God is in a human form. Our God got his “human” form because it was much simpler to preach to people”
    So you can’t deny that your god is our god and His form is that of a wad of spaghetti, can you?
    .
    “I see beyond that and I see beyond the bible and beyond all the preaching, and form my own opinion”
    Yeah! Of course! What are you thinking about? The Bible is the word of God! And the pope is his representant in Earth! He’s infallible! How can you “see beyond the Bible”?? Are you fool enough to think that you could explain it better than GOD?
    .
    “I got to “Love one another and love yourself”. The rest is an elaboration of that statement ”
    Really? How can be genocide and murdering “elaboration” of Love another?
    .
    Andrea, you aren’t a really christian; you are worshipping your own god, and you have your own religion, like most of christians around us. Why that religion and not another one? What do you know about God if you don’t believe what he suposeddly wrote? Why do you think there is a God if you can see all you know about him was made up (ejem, “elaborated”) by the people?
    .
    A few questions I hope you think about… RAmen

    P.D. I didn’t have anything against “Love one another and love yourself” philosophy, but I don’t need a god to do it

  101. 101 ridders Apr 25th, 2008 at 5:30 am

    ahhhh, seems that the concept has gone way over your head… If you really think about Christianity isn`t much of it equally disturbing?

  102. 102 George the Third Apr 25th, 2008 at 7:22 am

    You sir, are the one who must be fucking kidding me.
    RAmen, may you be touched by his noodly appendage!

  103. 103 George the Third Apr 25th, 2008 at 7:23 am

    You sir, are the one that must be fucking kidding me…
    May you be touched by his noodly appendage! RAmen!

  104. 104 Anonymous Coward Apr 25th, 2008 at 8:16 am

    I might have cared what you said if you didn’t steal that “prick waving dick fight” term from george carlin. seriously… a little originality?

  105. 105 Dodee Apr 25th, 2008 at 9:06 am

    How can you claim to be a Christian when you use those four-lettered words, which a lot of people cannot stand to hear, and I’m one of them.

  106. 106 nicci :) Apr 25th, 2008 at 9:20 am

    … er yeh, I think we fucking are babe *smiling sweetly* Isn’t it great! *grinning*. I mean there’s like nothing weird or scary or disturbing about some white grandfather type head (sans body) watching your every move and taking notes for some big telling off session later is there? But a spaghetti monster? cool! I had been into the IPU but this is more (ful)filling somehow - who doesn’t like pasta I mean, comeon! *grin* and invisible gods are just soooo last millenium, don’t you think?

    Ok so you personally are ignoring your church’s teachings on the form of God, your church’s holy book and your priests’ sermons and are instead making your own mind up. Hey, same here *grin*… I call that a anti-organised religion viewpoint *grin*. Doesn’t stop me agreeing with ‘Love one another and love yourself’. I do that, every single day. often more than once. *grin*…

  107. 107 Pirate_Ed Apr 25th, 2008 at 11:05 am

    tisk…..tisk…..tisk. Such a potty mouth for a christian girl.

  108. 108 pluto maximus Apr 25th, 2008 at 11:44 am

    what do u mean there is no flying spagheti monster? is there an invisible man who lives in the sky? why does it need to be a man? it could be a flying spagheti monster.

  109. 109 Elise the Pirate Apr 25th, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    she doesn’t get it.

  110. 110 flyingspaghettiapostle Apr 25th, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    Love one another and love yourself… strange that a self pronounced ‘Christian’ would write an email about dick waving and fucking. Strange.

  111. 111 Teh Spag-worshipper Apr 25th, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    Fair enough. Love one another. Love yourself. Love the FSM. Sounds like a deal to me!
    By the way, am I the only one who’s really, REALLY glad this one can spell?
    Can’t get the hang of capitalisation, though…

  112. 112 Torre Apr 25th, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    Uhh for one don’t swear in the title your god may not like it. If you don’t like the idea of The flying Spaghetti Monster, then don’t care, Believe in you invisible man in the clouds (personally i don’t see the point in choosing the man in clouds).
    Also its funny that you, a christian, choose to quote George Carlin in this issue. Also when he said that he wasn’t really talkin about religion. Another thing, the whole Balls thing is a harmless pun, its not obscene, or should be looked down at.
    Other than that o wholly agree with you on the rest of your statements.
    -T

  113. 113 Josh the Pirate Apr 25th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    No, we are not fucking kidding you. I am equally perplexed when looking at other people’s religion’s though. I find it hard to believe that people really think that if they telepathically accept a dead Jewish zombie carpenter as their master that they will be able to live forever in a gated community in the sky. But hey, I’m willing to live and let live if you are.

  114. 114 lazlow Apr 25th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    “Simply said, our religion is flawed. Big time.”
    .
    But this is the word of God and if it’s flawed that would make God flawed.
    .
    “So far, I got to “Love one another and love yourself””
    .
    Then that’s better than what most of the Bible teaches you. Why not just love one another and love yourself and be done with it? There’s no need for a god to tell you this, you already know it.

  115. 115 ladysybylgrey Apr 25th, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    Have you never heard of sarcasm?

  116. 116 Dan Apr 25th, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    We’re forming a sect of Flying Rotini Monster followers, Andrea, maybe that representation of God would make more sense to you. In the interests of eccumenical (sp?) accord, Pastafarians of any shape should work together, but if you choose a different path to follow, you must admit we are all seeking the same goal of enlightenment.

    Seriously, this Pastafarian idea has to be right on, because there’s criticism here from people who sincerely seem offended and others who are are really apalled. I think this idea has legs. Nice work!!