I can’t believe the internet allows people like you publish this satanic filth. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the dumbest religion idea that anyone has ever worshiped. Anyone with 2/3 of a brain can tell it’s false because you worship a MONSTER…. you said so yourself!!!!!! How lame is that? TOTALLY LAME. The internet has got to stop this. You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things. Now look what has happened to you! You worship a MONSTER and then you make up a bunch of bible texts that you tell everyone are real but has anyone ever seen your bible texts? NO THEY HAVE NOT, because you totally made them up, and then you pretended that you live your life by them, which the Kansas School Board is TOTALLY going to figure out, and your whole Flying Spaghetti Monster is going to get punctured like a big balloon and come floating down on your heads and completely crush you… and I’ll be there with plenty of spaghetti sauce to eat it up and rid the world of this Satanic idea, except that I wouldn’t do that because then your monster would be inside of me which I totally don’t want. LOSERS!!!! Don’t you get it? You made it all up! YOu are the total opposite of a real religion where God makes it all up, not you. The people who say they saw this monster and wrote your bibles are tricking you to get you to believe in things that don’t make sense no matter how you figure it. Like pasta didn’t even exist when the world was created, so right there you are proved wrong. And in a 100 more ways too. Like a noodly appendage could never work because it has no muscles inside, just noodle, and it would need brain waves to change the results of scientists, whose results are FALSE anyway because they have no Jesus in their hearts. I hope children don’t find out about you.
-Mark T.
[I suspect this one may be fake, but it was funny, so here it is. It could easily be real, too. The (correct) spelling and grammar is suspicious. –bobby]
AHAHAHAHHHH, good show. I was thoroughly entertained. thanks for that!
i think it’s very funny how you pretrend you are tyring to convince us pastafarians that our beliefs our false when you are really trying to convice yourself. you are obviously from another religion and are denying the Flying Spaghetti Monster into your heart…open up and leet him wrap his appendages around your heart so that your eyes may be opened.
“Like a noodly appendage could never work because it has no muscles inside, just noodle”
well first of all, wy would FSM need muscels(spelling?) for, he is bloody divine, he is a god, he is above human he is above everything he is ultimate, he is “it” the one and only my god nad not just my god he is your god even if you dont know it yet.
“You worship a MONSTER and then you make up a bunch of bible texts that you tell everyone are real but has anyone ever seen your bible texts? NO THEY HAVE NOT, because you totally made them up.”
well what is the problem that we worship a “Monster”, and what is it that no one has seen anny religios text or as you refer it as biblical, so no no one has seen anny “bible texts” though The gospels is not the bible it is the gospels of FSM, you can on the other hand copare it with the bible, though it is as holy too us, the pastafarians. And last and not least HAS ANNY ONE EVER SEEN THE REAL WRIGHTINGS FOR THE BIBLE???????, no they have not. so put your mumbo jubo where it belongs(too your self) belive in what you want to belive just dont tell me that my belifes are wrong and stupid cuse i and other pastafarians refer our god as a Monster, and belive he is spaghetti and flys. so have a nice life and may you live long and may the noodly appendge bless you
RAmen, and pardon for all misspellings and grammatical errors!
good luck to you all!
Though the FSM does bask in Red spaghetti sauce, and have eyes that could be mistaken for horns, as well as encourage the eating of meaty substances with his holy spaghetti dishes, the great one has only his own interests in mind, and would never do anything so mundane as directly defy the idea of being an evil deity.
FSM - Proven beyond the existence of air
Air - still in question, may not exist. stop breathing that!
Your reply - uh, didn’t read it, so it doesn’t affect me, and this reply is adequate simply because, so there.
Perfectly logical. You see?
Ever read the first amendment?
Maybe the Internet is a god and has granted us free will, which includes being able to publish anything we want.
“You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things.”
I think that line there is proof that this is a joke. Nobody could write that and expect to be taken seriously.
doesn’t Al Gore own the internet?
WWFSMD
Though fake or not I believe this post leaves 1 very valuable question. Can we worship the internet? Seeing as the internet allows us to exist.
I really like his point that, in the classic monotheistic model, God “makes up” all the nonsense that makes up many modern religions.
Good idea. Call the internet and shut us down. The phone number is 1-900-U-ARE-DUM. Charges are $5 per minute, so you might want to be more brief in your argument. While you’re at it, call the phone so we can’t use that. Just don’t call my car - I need that for work.
Incidentally, kudos on the lack of apparent typos in your crazy rant, though I probably would not have used “think/thing” so many times in one sentence.
I am confused and concerned, “The internet has got to stop this.” This would imply that The Internet has power greater than His Noodliness, if The Internet is able to stop the spread of The Word. Could this mean that FSM is a false religion (or at least a lesser one) and that we should fall prostrate before the might of The Internet?
If I could find a piece of paper, a nail and a door I might create a schism.
Remember: On The Internet you can always read what you believe.
This is the greatest religion ever. For years I grew up being forced to believe and chastised because I had questions. Now I know that there are others like me. Were not bad people….just logical. It will be hard to get used to this church though. I haven’t seen any collection plates and no “men of god” have asked me to take my clothes.
How do I become a member?
This satiric religion is to promote separation of Church and state, not put down religion. This needs to be reaffirmed. (though not obviously so… I mean we shouldn’t lower our standards to those who don’t understand Satire- like the author of this letter).
Separation of Church and State requires people of both religious and atheist backgrounds coming together and deciding we don’t want the religious jihad crap, we don’t want Communist USSR crap either. We want freedom, We want to stick it to the man (or woman depending on this next fall).
I don’t know … you realize, it isn’t actually hemoglobin that carries oxygen in our bodies. It’s Jesus, yes tiny molecules of Jesus help ferry oxygen to our tissues. All through the miraculous power of our Noodly Highness.
Oh yeah, Ex-Captain Etay … it is possible to live with 2/3 of a brain as Mark T. illustrates.
It is a tragedy that you’ve found out about children, Mark T.
Bobby,
Of course the school board is smart enough to figure out that FSMism is a fake religion. Gosh, I hope they are, because then maybe they’re smart enough to figure out that Intelligent Design is a fake scientific theory.
Jeebuz Apr 22nd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
“sweetheart, you DO realize that the internet isn’t a person right?”
.
Whaaa…??
There’s no Internet Fairy inside my ‘puter?
Just what are you saying??
Now, I’m curious what the death toll is in the preaching of the FSM. For a member of Christianity, whose proudest slaughters include the crusades, the inquisition, the holocaust, biblical city destructions and eradicating the entire poulation of the earth (including animals!) to criticize pastafarians, you must be immune from looking inward. I understand that you have likely been brainwashed from an early age to buy into that bronze age belief system, because nobody with twentieth century common sense can easily swallow all that nonsensical crap…
Who is this ‘Internet’ of whom you speak? I wish to meet him (her?) in order to point out the dangers of allowing dangerous indoctrination of innocent fundies.