I can’t believe the internet allows people like you publish this satanic filth. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the dumbest religion idea that anyone has ever worshiped. Anyone with 2/3 of a brain can tell it’s false because you worship a MONSTER…. you said so yourself!!!!!! How lame is that? TOTALLY LAME. The internet has got to stop this. You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things. Now look what has happened to you! You worship a MONSTER and then you make up a bunch of bible texts that you tell everyone are real but has anyone ever seen your bible texts? NO THEY HAVE NOT, because you totally made them up, and then you pretended that you live your life by them, which the Kansas School Board is TOTALLY going to figure out, and your whole Flying Spaghetti Monster is going to get punctured like a big balloon and come floating down on your heads and completely crush you… and I’ll be there with plenty of spaghetti sauce to eat it up and rid the world of this Satanic idea, except that I wouldn’t do that because then your monster would be inside of me which I totally don’t want. LOSERS!!!! Don’t you get it? You made it all up! YOu are the total opposite of a real religion where God makes it all up, not you. The people who say they saw this monster and wrote your bibles are tricking you to get you to believe in things that don’t make sense no matter how you figure it. Like pasta didn’t even exist when the world was created, so right there you are proved wrong. And in a 100 more ways too. Like a noodly appendage could never work because it has no muscles inside, just noodle, and it would need brain waves to change the results of scientists, whose results are FALSE anyway because they have no Jesus in their hearts. I hope children don’t find out about you.
-Mark T.
[I suspect this one may be fake, but it was funny, so here it is. It could easily be real, too. The (correct) spelling and grammar is suspicious. –bobby]
I agree with Bobby on this. The spelling is pretty good, which means it can’t be real. Also, they used a fraction other than 1/2, and did not write in all caps.
Things to make fun of you about:
1. Confusing the name of the religion with the name of His Noodliness.
2. The fact that if someone had 2/3 of a brain they would be dead, most likely.
3. Asking how lame something is, then answering it. Maybe you’re trying to make this seem like some sort of freaky lecture?
4. Thinking that the Internet is a force which has the power to stop religious beliefs.
5. This sentence: “You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things.” I can’t make any sense of this. At all.
6. Thinking that we make up our own bible texts, then claiming that no one has seen them. Hmm. Bible texts.
7. Claiming that downward floating balloons with puncture holes in them have the ability to potentially crush two or more people.
8. Thinking that eating spaghetti sauce displeases us.
9. Thinking that this whole idea is satanic. El oh el.
10. Claiming that no real religions are “made up.”
11. Saying that God makes up religions. El oh el again.
12. This sentence: “…to change the results of scientists, whose results are FALSE anyway because they have no Jesus in their hearts.” Funny stuff, man. Funny stuff.
13. Hoping that children don’t discover us. I wonder who wrote this hatemail, anyway.
14. Adding to Number 13.: obviously thinking that this religion hasn’t been around long enough for a variety of people of different age groups to see.
.
You see, you’re not making any points here, Mark T. I can tell that you don’t understand your own religion, and all you care about is whether you have a Jesus in your heart (which I assume is like a tumor, only somewhat sentient) and where you’re going after you die.
I know your religion better than you do, Mark T.
.
- Ex-Captain Etay
Since when did we need the permission of the internet to exist? An individual should not worship an individual… we should learn from and apply the examples of one (or many) we admire, respect, and trust. Figure it out, wake up.
If Christianity, Islam, Judaism…etc are considered to be the ‘true religions’ - Pastafarianism can be True as well. this is not lame they have more evidence than other religion which is greater than the bible. no one ever seen God therefore there is a chance that if we do have a creator it can be a monster.
every religion were made up by Human … if Pastafarianism carries on for thousands of years it will be like Christianity - they will recognize Pastafarianism as a Religion rather than a joke.
@Joe Blow. I wanna get me a hat just like hiz. I could be sumbody in a hat like that.
Mark, sweetheart, you DO realize that the internet isn’t a person right? Its not like, lets say, the CEO of Chevron, whom you can petition if his corporation is doing something you disagree with. The internet doesn’t “allow” anything because its not a sentient being.
Just thought I would clear that up for you.
RAmen
- Jeebuz
Not enough Jesus in our hearts…
…wouldn’t that lead to serious cardio-pulmonary problems?
This works quite nicely for us when you cahgne just a few things, like so:
I can’t believe the Internet allows people like you publish this un-noodly filth. Christianity is the dumbest religion idea that anyone has ever worshiped. Anyone with 2/3 of a brain can tell it’s false because you worship a DEITY…. you said so yourself!!!!!! How lame is that? TOTALLY LAME. The Internet has got to stop this. You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things. Now look what has happened to you! You worship a DEITY and then you make up a bunch of bible texts that you tell everyone are real but has anyone ever seen your bible texts? YES THEY HAVE, and you totally made them up, and then you actually live your life by them, which the Kansas School Board TOTALLY doesn’t care about , and your whole “God” is going to get punctured like a big balloon and come floating down on your heads and completely crush you… and I’ll be there to eat it up and rid the world of this un-noodly idea, except that I wouldn’t do that because then your deity would be inside of me which I totally don’t want. LOSERS!!!! Don’t you get it? You made it all up! You are the total opposite of a real religion where Bobby Henderson makes it all up, not you. The people who say they saw this deity and wrote your bibles are tricking you to get you to believe in things that don’t make sense no matter how you figure it. Like Christianity didn’t even exist when the world was created by his noodliness, so right there you are proved wrong. And in a 100 more ways too. Like an omnipresent being wouldn’t work because there are no muscles inside, just air and bits of stuff, and it would need brain waves to change the results of scientists, whose results are TRUE anyway because they have no Jesus in their hearts. I hope children don’t find out about you.
Mark T.
You act like the internet is a corporation. Anyway, Internet Inc. should definitely continue to allow Pastafarians to share their most reasonable beliefs with the world.
“You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things.”
Oh yes, because freedom of thought is absolutely horrid. [sarcasm]
“I’ll be there with plenty of spaghetti sauce to eat it up and rid the world of this Satanic idea, except that I wouldn’t do that because then your monster would be inside of me which I totally don’t want.”
Indecisiveness does not a good argument make.
“Like pasta didn’t even exist when the world was created”
I’d like to see you prove that one. Like without naming the person who invented pasta because you have no insurance that that is true.
“Like a noodly appendage could never work because it has no muscles inside” “it would need brain waves”
Someone didn’t pay attention in biology. Ever heard of cilia and flagella? What about jellyfish?
“scientists, whose results are FALSE anyway because they have no Jesus in their hearts”
I thought you said FSM wasn’t scientifically correct? Now you say scientists are wrong?
“I hope children don’t find out about you.”
It’s mutual.
And I applaud Ex-Captain Etay and [his/her?] list.
RAmen,
Turk
Wow! I hope that was real but somehow I doubt it. More’s the pity. Petty good though none the less. I have to admit that there is nothing like the ranting of a maniac to make my day.
RAmen!
I have to agree. Next thing they’ll think of is that some chick gets pregnant without having sex and claims that “God did it”, yeah, “God did it”. Ha, how funny would that be. Oh yeah, and maybe her son, aka the son of god becomes a major figure in many other religions by dying, and then coming back to life with holes all in him like ….. Swiss Cheese, maybe call it SwissCheesianity.
You people should all hang your heads in shame. I know Mark T. and he is a good God-fearing man who is only trying to help save your souls. People like you should be ashamed for calling him names and for trying to confuse other people with some kind of made up, wheat based god, when there is really only one true God as you all would know if you would just open your hearts to the true Lord.
And why do you think that religious people can’t spell? Maybe God didn’t make spell check but His children can still use it.
And okay, so even I know Mark T. doesn’t always understand the Internet because of all the time that he had to spend in the institution, but that’s no reason to mock his religious beliefs.
What’s wrong with worshipping a monster? Monsters are awesome. Godzilla, Trogdor (or any dragon, really), werewolves, Ktulu, and let’s not forget tickle monsters. The FSM isn’t the only great one. Just the greatest.
@Ex-Captain Etay
Did you know that “El” is the ancient word for “God” in the middle east? So when you say “El oh el”, you’re saying, ” God, oh, God!”, which I think is priceless and extremely hilarious!
Thanks for the great laugh! Also, your argument is very good too.
Still i feel truely blessed not believing in a altrocious god like Yahweh. Really..
he is believed to created the earth in an unrational manner, created a feminist woman wich was banned from eden and replaced by eve whom was more obedient, whom ate from a magical tree wich was enough reason for Him to punish not only her but every other women! (we’d seen this devine justice brought upon jews recently by hitler whom did the bidding of god cause god is all knowing and all powerfull so if it where against his will the monster would have never been born right?) same goes for satan, he in fact is as much a slave to the bidding of god then every one else for christianity really doesn’t allow free will. gods decide your will. for instance you’d felt pritty good after this for doing opus dei. sooo.. i don’t actually believe in an god that has the most cruel justice of all, a god that lets children get murdered, a god that created pure evil and uses it as a scapegoat just make himself look good, a god that seems to feed on sadness and loves it for it happens every day without intervention? short i don’t believe in the cruel monster called yahweh whom even let his only begotten son (out of a total of billions..) brutally tortured and murdered to only get motivated enought to let people think sins are redeemed while they actually are not? NOT believing in all those things equals to satanic? and they your own use of words! my god! “pray for thy enemy” and “kindness upon strangers” does not count anymore? you are a aggressive hypocrite! =) and know my kindness for i don’t swear you once and you swear all of us the same.
read upon your God and see throught the facade your actually worshipping the instinct of men and the indifference of nature. Don’t believe, doupt. Doupt is the path to great creativity and knowledge!
And truth will come along with it. Dare to walk your own path, in stead of that leading to willlesness and an enslaved mind. Be free.
You say we worship a MONSTER and have no Jesus in our hearts.
Arggggh those be awful strong words there matey!
Me and a few mates from a neighboring island had recently finished pillaging some small villages and were sitting around the camp fire, dividing up the loot. GreyBeard, the never full, started talking about that Jesus character.
In the end the, we cam to the following conclusion:
Christianity (in a nutshell) is the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie (Jesus) who is/was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh - drink his blood and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master; so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Myself, GrayBeard, OneLeg Tom and the others all agree that Pastafarianism is easier to digest (in more ways then one)
RAmen
@Neal
Basil Baxter Loves You.
“Mark T: Why don’t you go deliver a pizza to Basil Baxter’s house. I understand he love it with anchovies.”
Excellent suggestion. Forget the Anchovies, though.
Pasta didnt exist when the earth was formed? Who made the pasta maker?