I can’t believe the internet allows people like you publish this satanic filth. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the dumbest religion idea that anyone has ever worshiped. Anyone with 2/3 of a brain can tell it’s false because you worship a MONSTER…. you said so yourself!!!!!! How lame is that? TOTALLY LAME. The internet has got to stop this. You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things. Now look what has happened to you! You worship a MONSTER and then you make up a bunch of bible texts that you tell everyone are real but has anyone ever seen your bible texts? NO THEY HAVE NOT, because you totally made them up, and then you pretended that you live your life by them, which the Kansas School Board is TOTALLY going to figure out, and your whole Flying Spaghetti Monster is going to get punctured like a big balloon and come floating down on your heads and completely crush you… and I’ll be there with plenty of spaghetti sauce to eat it up and rid the world of this Satanic idea, except that I wouldn’t do that because then your monster would be inside of me which I totally don’t want. LOSERS!!!! Don’t you get it? You made it all up! YOu are the total opposite of a real religion where God makes it all up, not you. The people who say they saw this monster and wrote your bibles are tricking you to get you to believe in things that don’t make sense no matter how you figure it. Like pasta didn’t even exist when the world was created, so right there you are proved wrong. And in a 100 more ways too. Like a noodly appendage could never work because it has no muscles inside, just noodle, and it would need brain waves to change the results of scientists, whose results are FALSE anyway because they have no Jesus in their hearts. I hope children don’t find out about you.
-Mark T.
[I suspect this one may be fake, but it was funny, so here it is. It could easily be real, too. The (correct) spelling and grammar is suspicious. –bobby]
Mark T (Bobby’s remarks noted), Lets assume for a moment that the internet “allows” or “disallows” people - why not do this democratically and have a vote? I vote to allow Bobby.
Given that this is my game and my rules I would say that a vote to suppress free speech needs to be backed up by a reason that does not involve any reference to ancient bizarre dogmas.
I’m not American but I have heard of the First Amendment - have you ?
feeling Christian today? So, how’s this different than the start of Christianity? People write books, people start to believe in it, it’s violently opposed, and then accepted as a real religion. look it up in your 7th grade history book.
Like PB I really enjoyed the part about where we made up our religion.
You are thinking someone should have a serious talk with the supreme ruler and master of the internet (SRAMINET). He should definitely be alterted to your concern. SRAMINET cares about you very deeply and hears your cries. I am sure he will answer your cries if you will just kneel before your monitor, burn some incense, sing a song of his praise and send me $20 so I can continiue to spread the word of his power to heal your blogosphere.
All praise be to SRAMINET and FSM.
RAMEN AND SPAMEN
i honestly cant belive that you have managed to get an internet connection. “I can’t believe the internet allows people like you publish this…” dear FSM! the internet is free from censorship, free from law. thats why you dont have a cannon ball stuck through your monitor right now.
oh, feel free to make more hatemail, this makes my day :D
Ramen
“Like pasta didn’t even exist when the world was created, so right there you are proved wrong. And in a 100 more ways too. Like a noodly appendage could never work because it has no muscles inside, just noodle”
pasta has existed for millions of years. it’s what the dinosaurs ate but due to the great linguine famine they soon starved to death. the divine FSM knew this and decided to make all creatures hence forth not so dependent on pasta.
Does anyone know who I should call to get the internet to get rid of this thing? I don’t think ‘the internet’ is in the phone book.
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE…! But if not, it goes a long way to explain ignorance as the basis of faith.
“YOu are the total opposite of a real religion where God makes it all up, not you.”
Teh stupid, it burns, it burns….
RAmen, ARRGH!
Apparently Mark hasn’t heard of free speech. He also doesn’t seem to understand how the internet works. He constantly refers to it as if it is some sort of entity, able to rise up and devour anything it wants. And I thought we had condemned censorship of the sort you mention. Next, we don’t worship an idea. We worship our Saucy Father. And pasta did exist at the beginning of the universe. You seem to lack any evidence to the contrary. The FSM can be quite a trickster, planting evidence to test his children’s faith. And the Noodly One is exists above neurons, muscles, flesh, cardiovascular and respiratory systems, and the like. But I think the worst thing in this post, besides the post of course, is your attack on science. What we know now about the universe is all the result of a few centuries worth of experimentation, gathering of data from those experiments, verification of the data by repeating the same experiment multiple times, and the interpretation of that data before being published again to be peer reviewed, with the experiment being repeated again and again by numerous scientists from all over the world just to determine the validity of the data, and the possible claims being made as a result of that data. But, no, of course you can reject all we have discovered because of a book written over a thousand years ago by an unknown number of anonymous authors with no evidence proving what they were saying, along with numerous statements contradicting other statements in the book and even more contradicting what we have discovered about this universe.
Spartan
May you be touched by His noodly appendage
Me thinks Bobby may be right and you all have been hoodwinked by MR TWAIN.
Dave
wow how can you say such hurtful things i don’t understand why you can;t just leave pastafarians alone and let us believe what we want to believe, we had no problem with your religion until it started to try to force feed it down children’s throats in kansas and possibly pinellas county in Florida whatever happened to separation of church and state or is your belief choosing to bend the rules to your will once again.
p.s. anything is one word
It is not the FSM in Himself that drives our burning passion for pasta. It is fanatics such as yourself that we are directly opposed to. The people that believe that religion is written in stone, and that it is all to live for in life. The Pastafarians are more idealists than anything, and our great Flying Spaghetti Monster is a symbol of our freedom - freedom to believe in whatever Italian dish we feel, freedom to worship pirates, and freedom to peacefully yet firmly state that Pasafarianism is indeed a real religion.
If you have not been Touched by His Noodly Appendage (which moves by, yes, that word, FAITH, which you Christians seem to value so much in explaining all the impossible things YOUR god does), then you may quietly ignore the FSM.
PS: If we are already being persecuted for our beliefs, we MUST be a real religion, eh?
It’s like being harassed by a thirteen year old girl… Totally!!!
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Have YOU ever seen JESUS? No you haven’t , cause you TOTALLY made him up. Like, totally for real!!
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by the way, i like the quote:”The people who say they saw this monster and wrote your bibles are tricking you to get you to believe in things that don’t make sense no matter how you figure it.”
Substitute monster with God, and suddenly everything is all right :p
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Also, I called the internet last night, and he totally allows us, being a sentient life form and all…
Totally
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“I hope children don’t find out about you”. Well, you did, and you can’t be out of puberty yet.
Mark R = Mark Twain?
If so, amusing usage of a pseudonym as, well, a pseudonym!
Did you know that FSMism and Christianity have something thing in common? Some people around 2000 years ago made up your bible too. Imagine that.
May His noodly appendage smite you!
Yeah. “the internet has to stop this”. It’s not made up. This guy really doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Still funny.
Peace
shhhhhhhh…. i thought we ID proponents had the gentlemen agreement not to expose the inner workings of our policies. Just go and blow the whole thing and before you know it Science teachers might be teaching our children science and logic instead of blind faith and intolerance. Geez… what would the world be like then?
Me thinks Bobby is right and you have been hood winked by MR. TWAIN.
Dave
Actually, I think this guy might be pulling our legs.
Using brainwaves to change the results of scientists?
Got to be lampooning the other posts, don’t you think? The dead give away is the lack of bad spelling and ALL CAPS for whole sections.
Plus the eating the spaghetti part being ok, but then again, not. And the pasta not existing at the beginning of the universe. And the “real religion where God makes it all up.” Too many easy openings.
Don’t you think? The “internet” had better send this guy a stern letter.
-Layne