I can’t believe the internet allows people like you publish this satanic filth. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the dumbest religion idea that anyone has ever worshiped. Anyone with 2/3 of a brain can tell it’s false because you worship a MONSTER…. you said so yourself!!!!!! How lame is that? TOTALLY LAME. The internet has got to stop this. You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things. Now look what has happened to you! You worship a MONSTER and then you make up a bunch of bible texts that you tell everyone are real but has anyone ever seen your bible texts? NO THEY HAVE NOT, because you totally made them up, and then you pretended that you live your life by them, which the Kansas School Board is TOTALLY going to figure out, and your whole Flying Spaghetti Monster is going to get punctured like a big balloon and come floating down on your heads and completely crush you… and I’ll be there with plenty of spaghetti sauce to eat it up and rid the world of this Satanic idea, except that I wouldn’t do that because then your monster would be inside of me which I totally don’t want. LOSERS!!!! Don’t you get it? You made it all up! YOu are the total opposite of a real religion where God makes it all up, not you. The people who say they saw this monster and wrote your bibles are tricking you to get you to believe in things that don’t make sense no matter how you figure it. Like pasta didn’t even exist when the world was created, so right there you are proved wrong. And in a 100 more ways too. Like a noodly appendage could never work because it has no muscles inside, just noodle, and it would need brain waves to change the results of scientists, whose results are FALSE anyway because they have no Jesus in their hearts. I hope children don’t find out about you.
-Mark T.
[I suspect this one may be fake, but it was funny, so here it is. It could easily be real, too. The (correct) spelling and grammar is suspicious. –bobby]
Worst Hate Mail- ever.
you’re an idiot.
LIKE……TOTALLY……Yahhh.
Besides the fact we are dealing with a 15 year old “valley-girl” (albeit an articulate one…..kudos for that), it just never ceases to amaze me the number of folks that just don’t get it.
RAmen All
Dear Mark,
What do you mean it’s not real? It must be!
I saw it on Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Gospel-Flying-Spaghetti-Monster/dp/0812976568?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1180375352&sr=8-1), they sold it to me!
I buy it, so should you!
RAmen
Lieverik
who needs folgers when i can wake up to the ramblings of a lunatic? i always love hatemail in the morning :-)
newsflash mark: ALL religions are made up.
I never thought about it that way…NOODLES DON’T HAVE MUSCLES!!! That’s why it makes perfect sense that the world was created almost instantaneously by an all knowing being whom occasionally manifests himself to get Middle Eastern virgins pregnant. Even though the FSM may be a “monster”, the FSM has never been accused of murdering the entire planet with a flood nor has the FSM told groups of people that they have a divine right to kill others. I find those acts to be quite a bit more monstrous than the subtle tweaking of carbon dating that the FSM has so brilliantly pulled off.
Mark,
Why don’t you take a bath and cool off? Forget the children finding out about us- I hope they stay away from you. Sounds like you have a problem. Therapy and psychiatry helps :) Who knows, it might make you stop writing worthless hate mail. Think about all of the other productive things you could be doing instead. There are going to be differences and biases toward religion. Since the beginning of time, everyone hates the other because they’re of another religion. You’re not going to stop the religion war. You have your religion. Great! Good for you! Three cheers for the Christian who loves shoving their religion down non-believers throats! Now, when did we shove ours down yours? That’s right. Never. We’re nice.
I can’t believe that you could get your knuckles off of the floor long enough to type your tirade.
Bobby,
Good-one on being suspicious of (correct) spelling and grammar….It does contain however the ‘logical’ assault on the fact that Pasta did not exist when the world was created…hmmm. It does lack the obligatory “i hope you all burn in HELL” reference. Yep, Fake.
This was written by a five year old.
If this is a grown man he has serious grammar problems.
Oh, and doesn’t he understand “parody religion”?
Loser face.
This one can’t be real. But just in case it is, I think I’ll buy an FSM t-shirt today.
“You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things.”
According to your faith, God gave us all free will. Thought is included.
So what, he lied?
Does that seem like a just God?
Wait a minute, Mark got one thing totally right, God makes it all up, and only the one true scripture clearly points this out.
RAmen
Actually although he is a complete and utter moron marky is right in one sense there is only one true God and that is the Invisible Pink Unicorn(blessed be her holly Hooves).
Too many things to say…
“Don’t you get it? You made it all up! YOu are the total opposite of a real religion where God makes it all up, not you.”
Really? God made it up? REALLY?
I can’t believe you’ve published this, it’s totally made up, someone has obviously just thought it up by thinking about it, and then thought about writting it and just written it down, i think.
“which the Kansas School Board is TOTALLY going to figure out”
They did.. which proves that they are totally smarter than you. And fake or not, still funny.
Dear Mark T.,
Basil Baxter Loves You. He has a Bible text for you which is totally real:
Pss.137
[1] By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion.
[2] We hanged our harps upon the willows in the midst thereof.
[3] For there they that carried us away captive required of us a song; and they that wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion.
[4] How shall we sing the LORD’s song in a strange land?
[5] If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.
[6] If I do not remember thee, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth; if I prefer not Jerusalem above my chief joy.
[7] Remember, O LORD, the children of Edom in the day of Jerusalem; who said, Rase it, rase it, even to the foundation thereof.
[8] O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
[9] Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Pro-Life, huh? Clever, clever, clever! Keep them guessing, always keep them guessing.
Wow…
And its not even April first, because that has got to be a joke. No one is truly that clueless.
Mark T: Why don’t you go deliver a pizza to Basil Baxter’s house. I understand he love it with anchovies.