I can’t believe the internet allows people like you publish this satanic filth. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the dumbest religion idea that anyone has ever worshiped. Anyone with 2/3 of a brain can tell it’s false because you worship a MONSTER…. you said so yourself!!!!!! How lame is that? TOTALLY LAME. The internet has got to stop this. You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things. Now look what has happened to you! You worship a MONSTER and then you make up a bunch of bible texts that you tell everyone are real but has anyone ever seen your bible texts? NO THEY HAVE NOT, because you totally made them up, and then you pretended that you live your life by them, which the Kansas School Board is TOTALLY going to figure out, and your whole Flying Spaghetti Monster is going to get punctured like a big balloon and come floating down on your heads and completely crush you… and I’ll be there with plenty of spaghetti sauce to eat it up and rid the world of this Satanic idea, except that I wouldn’t do that because then your monster would be inside of me which I totally don’t want. LOSERS!!!! Don’t you get it? You made it all up! YOu are the total opposite of a real religion where God makes it all up, not you. The people who say they saw this monster and wrote your bibles are tricking you to get you to believe in things that don’t make sense no matter how you figure it. Like pasta didn’t even exist when the world was created, so right there you are proved wrong. And in a 100 more ways too. Like a noodly appendage could never work because it has no muscles inside, just noodle, and it would need brain waves to change the results of scientists, whose results are FALSE anyway because they have no Jesus in their hearts. I hope children don’t find out about you.
-Mark T.
[I suspect this one may be fake, but it was funny, so here it is. It could easily be real, too. The (correct) spelling and grammar is suspicious. –bobby]
Niteshade Apr 27th, 2008 at 9:31 am
“Hmm, as I scientist (bio-chemist) I wonder if it would ever become possible for me to cure religion? I may have to seriously explore that avenue.”
.
Maybe start out with a Lithium base….
Well, FSM Monsterism is yet the only religion with graphs, there is your proof.
Sounds fake…
Hmmm - so spaghetti feeds are communion in our church?
Perhaps we should attack the root cause of the problem with humanity. It’s not religion, it’s stupidity. If we can solve the problem of stupid people, then I think we (i.e. the world) will be better off as a whole.
Haha this one is really funny.
He is actually proving and unknowingly admitting the flaws in his own religion by criticizing the same points from THE HOLY MEATBALLS!
LAWL
You have been pwned by the powah of spAHgeTtaH!
Whoa, who knew the internet had so much power.
i just love the title of ths hate-mail…
Sorry Mark bud, but I’m 11 and I am a Pastafarian through and through.
And I don’t give a shit what you say.
But I like to argue so I will.
First off, sure, we believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster. And yes, the FSM is, technically speaking, a monster, but not in the sense of monsters today. Just as the FSM’s Pirates are different from the modern term “pirate,” the FSM is a friendly kind of monster.
Hey, want to compare religions?
Your God, in his wonderful little Bible, promotes sexism and slavery. Don’t believe me? A quote from the Bible:
When a slave-owner strikes a male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies immediately, the owner shall be punished. But if the slave survives for a day or two, there is no punishment; for the slave is the owner’s property. [Exodus, chapter 21]
And another:
I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent. [1 Timothy, chapter 2]
And then He suddenly changes his mind?!?!?
We Pastafarians may have “flimsy moral standards” but our FSM has never hurt a fly. He only eats spaghetti.
No one has seen our Bible texts, but that’s because there aren’t any. The FSM gave Mosey the 8 (originally 10 but they dropped 2) “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” and who knows where they are? Bobby Henderson wrote pretty much the rest of the Gospel.
Peace Love and Pirates to all!! (Even to bastards like you.)
RAmen
He’s not an X-tian, guys. He can spell.
BTW, the entire tone of this particular hate mail is definitely tongue-in-cheek.
Lol, If you have bothered to Research the thing you are trying to make fun of you would have Prevented yourself from looking like an idiot, Sorry, better luck next religion you try to laugh at. We do have a gospel, and its sold on the very site that you claimed it didnt exist. And the Bible texts were “made up” at one point, talking about something that happened when no one was around to record it. “YOu are the total opposite of a real religion where God makes it all up, not you” GOD DID NOT WRITE THE BIBLE, Genius. Even though there are complete idiots in the Christian faith, i do believe Jesus is real. He talks to me on the bus all the time and even owns a Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And if we can convince Jesus then why is it so hard to convince ignorent people like you. And guess what, People and books didnt exist when the world was created, So how did the bible get written??? And you dont think a noodly appendege could work yet you think an invisible being that can pass through all matter is all the more possible? And your random idiodic rant is also wrong cause you have no FSM in your heart, I dont even know why ive been writting this cause im fairly positive you are illiterate and had a small child write it for you judgeing by your lack of knowledge and the fact that you couldnt figure out that the Gospel of fsm Does exist
Ex-Captain Etay
Apr 22nd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
I disagree with you about “2. The fact that if someone had 2/3 of a brain they would be dead, most likely” I think that Mark T. is living proof that someone can live with less then 2/3 of a brain
How could the internet let this happen? BAD INTERNET! BAD! NO BISCUT!
HAHAAAAAAA oh my god i dont know who made this post, but i love you!!! its like, the reason that this part of the site exists is so we can laugh at you people that take this seriously!! so thank you, youve made my day. =D P.S. nobody takes this seriously, nobody at ALL
“YOu are the total opposite of a real religion where God makes it all up, not you.”
Ohhh, so Christians don’t make up stupid religions! Gods do!
“You people think any thing you feel like thinking just because you like to think about things.”
Maybe you’d like thinking too if you tried it.
Being born catholic, raised catholic, and then becoming an atheist i can say full well with my experience that Christianity fits everything that you said about us Pastafarians. If you want to randomly spew nonsense about us not being a so called “real” religion, what truely is religion. A set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs. That is the definition of religion. By that standard, we are a religion. So leave us the hell alone.