Y’ALL iz GAY go find a real god…..WTF i believe aliens more than dis shyt FUK UP.S. GET A LIFE
-jb
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
You, sir, deserve no response.
.
And thus, I won’t say anymore.
Blasphemy!! HE is a real God - All Praise Flying Spaghetti Monster - and you should pray to be touched by His Noodly Appendage. And for the record, HE also created the aliens. If you believe in the aliens then you MUST believe in their Creator………..
(I’ll leave the rest to you guys because I don’t even know where to start. I think my IQ may have dropped from just reading his comment)
‘Ramen’
Mac
i think you are un open to other beliefs or any beliefs because you lack an awareness of the spiritual in this realm, or your just extremly retarded, either way i disagree with you.
W00t? You actually correspond with aliens? Wow, then you probably have the right to murder the English language.
P.S. Get an education
-gb
Who’s got less of a life? The person who believes in freedom or the person who constantly tries to crush that person’s freedom?
Ah, yes. It is entirely possible that the above response is indeed an attack on our collective sexuality. It is also possible, however, that said response is actually a deep-seated cry for help in a world increasingly deaf, dumb and blind (dumb, at least) to the plaintive cries of those seeking solace from increasing hidebound pedagogies… Or maybe not.
Whatever the case, may His noodly appendage guide the writer to find those aliens he so desperately seeks.
Hahaha, why thank you handjob :D
I bet you have a pretty interesting life criticizing others.
Love and Peace
Sorry, read it wrong, published by henderob, but text was from JB
My bad :(
I just get sad when people mock FSM.
I’m glad His name is still honoured.
Thank you for this website!
Nope. I refuse to beleive any of this any more. Someone is pulling our leg. This has to be fake. Soeone is bored with the lack of hate mail and is making this shit up.
No one can be this dysfunctional by accident and survive. Natural selection must take them out. If this is real then medical science has a lot to answer for by allowing him/her to remain alive.
P.P.S. Lern 2 speel..
Go find an English tutor. And if you come on this site just to insult us and tell us to get a life, you are probably the one lacking a life. Don’t worry though, the Flying Spaghetti Monster loves all of his creations; even the badly designed ones.
Spartan
May you be touched by His noodly appendage.
awwwwwwwwwww…….so nice to see the students of polk county reaching out to us.
.
& the grammar has improved dramatically, kudos to the board of education.
.
Ramen.
PS. Go to school.
Oh Great Prophet Bobby,
.
Please. No more of this useless ranting. We already know there are idiot children abroad in the land. Enough, already. In FSM’s name. Please stop.
.
RAmen
Go find a real god? How do you suggest I do that?
And how did you come to know the sexual preferences of each and every one us? Seems rather unlikely. You seem to be evidence that aliens of subhuman intelligence have mated with the human population, so no wonder you believe in aliens.
Anyway, all can partake of and consume the FSM, regardless of sexual preference. And we are not just about noodles, but Ravioli too. And even Tortellini, for that matter. The FSM is both real and tasty, which cannot be said for any other god.
Member At Large of the Secret Ravioli Sect
Well, if you think about it, the chances for extraterrestrial life are high, but it is not proven that it exists. FSM, however, is real. We have a book on him, and there have been numerous sightings. He is a real god.
Also, if you speak proper English, don’t mindlessly insult us and have a valid point, people will take you seriously. Otherwise, you’re just another idiot who dislikes anything different than the mainstream.
Get a life, jb
Peace to everyone else
This is just more proof of the bad english skills of hate mailers.
Nice grammar.
Go back to school and learn to spell fucker!
Go back to school and learn to spell fucker;then maybe your response will be taken serioulsy.
Is atheism gay? Is ‘gay’ an insult? Where is the real god?
That is some sublime grammar, I must say.
You would really have to be EXTREMELY bad at math to not believe in aliens. Or just a bible-thumper. Which you probably are. And so what if somebody is gay? Is that a problem, stupid?
So would scientolgist, but we all know there crazy dont we
I love how these people just make fun of themselves.
“Go back to school and learn to spell fucker!”
you just wrote it for him and now all he has to do is copy it….
The only thing more pitiful than the people who bother sending hatemail here… is the amount of time we spend responding to it, when the author isn’t reading the feedback, and wouldn’t change their mind any if they did.
May the FSM give us all something better to do than sit around reading this crap.
Ramen.
I find it oddly ironic that he (she?) used ‘than’ correctly. Well, maybe that was a typo. xD
I could tell how amazing this article was just from the title
Such an articulate and well reasoned argument. I am now convinced that I need to go out and find a real god. Oh Damn! I already have!
Oooops. I got a bit too annoyed and insulted the wrong person. Didn’t mean it. I’ll repost my pevious comment with the proper name- JB. Rather than insulting henderob. Sorry henderbob.
Please delete the comment made by R Meanings Nothings? on April 19th, 2008 at 12 : 27 pm.
Once again, sorry.
Awww. The poor little baby “jb” has got so scared of anything remotely different to mainstrean ideas that the baby has to lash out. Well “jb” should grow up and accept other people’s point of view without invading their website of FSM glory. If the baby has not been touched by His noodly appendage then may we all hope that “jb” uses time and energy more wisely in the future.
I suggest that “jb” starts off by learning to use capital letters first.
RAmen
Is it just me, or was “jb” cruising for a piece of arse?
What are you, six?
Am I the only one who’s losing faith in these hatemails?
I hardly believe that people of this… caliber are able to locate Bobby’s email by themselves
Although I have to say that the thought of this universe without aliens is quite absurd, seeing as it is quite big. Even infinite, as people claim, though this theory is not supported by GronaAnkan’s unlimited teapot theory, which could be disregarded, seeing at is itself is not supported by logic. More about that some other time. Not.
“Go find a real god? How do you suggest I do that?”
.
Get a bunch of gold, melt it down and make a golden calf. I think that should do it.
Oh look. 4chan has someone else to hate.
Yawn. Someone wake me up when there is a real hate-mail.
This post reeks of either abnormally dismal intelligence or deliberate troll-ery.
Either way, responding would be frivolous.
My oh my! Inbreds on the Internet. What will they think of next? I have to admit though; my curiosity is piqued. Why do they hate us so much? Does the Christian God hate us? Weird!
This guy reminds me of the people in the movie “Idiocracy”. In it a 21st century man is transported 3 centuries into the future and finds a completely disfunctional society run by idiots. Those people characterize knowledge as “Fag Stuff”. Doesn’t that say it all about this poster.
Real gods? I suggest you read Memorial Service by H. L. Mencken (http://www.ratbags.com/rsoles/comment/menckengods.htm) to find out the fate of real gods. It’s a very short read. It’s only an article. I’m sure even someone with so little a grasp of the English language could finish it will little pain.
if you think this is so sad and gay, what were you doing on this site to leave this comment in the first place?
RAmen
And this, my friends, is why cousins should not marry.
Wasn’t there something in the Bible about “Not hating other peoples’ religions”? Something along those lines, or at least there ought to be. And honestly, if you’re going to insult someone (Blimey, I have said this so many times I have perfected the speech), then you must first assume an authoritative posture, in your case that would be spelling correctly, and then deliver a series of denouncements without leaving your enemy any ground. That is how you insult someone.
Needless to say, you have failed at every point.
May you be Touched by His Noodly Appendage.
`Ramen’.
PS: I would like to state that I was once an atheist, untill I saw the Meatball. I am now a faithful Pastafarian, and have been doing my best to spread the word.
PPS: My brother is gay. He could beat you to a pulp, “jb”. I hope I have stricken a chord.
“go find a real god”
There are no real gods. Only spaghedeities.
And you can’t spell “is.”
Also, I find it rather amusing that he bothers to take time out of his obviously busy life to send nearly incoherent hate mail.
Notice he said “a” god, not “the” god, so can’t there be more than one?
That guy has a god, that other guy has a different god, I’ll have my own and not force it down other people’s throats.
Alas another potential Christian??? Real gods like the guy who can walk on water and rises from the dead. Or would Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny suffice? At least I know how mine tastes…damn good!
It looks like stupid is making a comeback.
Fuck me???? Who ’s gay now?
“real god”… isn’t that an oxymoron?
I guess he is referring to me with the gay thing… maybe one of my I-am-not-gay-I-don’t-know-what-got-in-to-me-it-is-all-your-fault-that-I-have-gay-sex ex-flings/gf/one-night-stands.
hahahahaha
Someone got whacked up side the head with a bible one too many times!
Get a dictionary…
Well his noodly appendage does not really care who you are partnered with, as long as it is consentual, and you use barrier methods (See the 8th I’d really rather you didn’t… for reference), so many of us could be gay. I also know many who are geeks, many who are feminist and many who also believe in aliens that are pastafarian.
the flying speghetti monster is a real god
Is spellcheck forbidden by the Bible?
gotta love dummies/people that NEVER get laid AND don’t know why….
ive found my real gods. trying to decide between fsm, master cheif and the jedi. they all seem so real to me…
Wait a minute, back up here jb - you TALKED to some aliens? And they spoke against the FSM??
.
First of all, everyone knows that aliens are gay so if you believe them then what does that make YOU? A GAY alien believer? Or a gay ALIEN believer?
.
Second of all, how do you know that the aliens you talked to weren’t pulling your (middle) leg (they are GAY y’know!)?
.
Third of all don’t believe everything gay aliens tell you. FSM loves you. You’re saucy. He’s cheesy. You’d be a perfect match for our God. Come into the light. RAmen.
Fuk U? Is that some Chinese street slang or something? I can’t even comprehend your post, let alone how you know how to use a computer. So fuk U, friend.
some carpenter from nazareth once said “bless those who curse you”
so… bless you, my son. May you be touched (in a non-sexual way) by His Noodly Goodness!!!
Another moron comes out of the closet.
I wish to say that even though you speak badly against our God, and do not believe in His existence, He will continue loving and protecting you. I pray for you my good, non-believing friend.
A. Don’t disrespect gays, some are really hot… *Thinks of John Barrowman
ill get a life when u learn to spell.
Actually, I AM gay. So why don’t you go get an English teacher that can at the very least teach you how to properly spell your insults.
-Jeebuz
P.S. - The P.S. goes after your signature.
now although i agree with my fellow pastafarian’s that this man is clearly undereducated and misguided. i think that he does deserve a bit of credit. he bothered to take a bit of extra time and translate his red neck accent so that we can all know that we are dealing with a 100 percent full southern fried American. saving us the time of thinking that the post might hold any relevant arguments after the first word. well, peace out Y’all. hope the aliens prove more sociable for you than for me.
Huh… I’ve only been around on His (FSM’s) great earth for 17 years and I have always hoped someday to be as smart as Mr. jb over here. have I been spelling “is” wrong my entire life, is “this” really pronounced “dis”… wow sorry I have to stop and think this over for a while.
My child support payments say otherwise.
has your God never blessed you with the gift of perfect spelling? I’d pray for you, for blessed are the poor of soul, for the kingdom of heaven will be theirs.
Ramen!
I believe aliens too. They have no reason to lie.
Real god. Y’all iz sportin an oxymoron. Look it up. In a book maybe.
Y’ALL iz GAY go find a real god…..WTF i believe aliens more than dis shyt FUK U
Let’s have a look at this statement.
Let’s have a look at this statement.
Y’ALL is used mostly in the Southern U.S. to address more than one person (pronoun; informal)
iz could be interrupted as “l337” speak.
Now “iz GAY” or more properly “is Gay” is where my confusion begins. “iz GAY” can be interpreted as urbonic meaning almost anything from relating to sexual attraction to having a carefree sprit.
Moving on “dis shyt FUK U” seems to again combine urbonics with “l337” speak.
‘go find a real god.’ Well it should be its own sentence ‘Go find a real God.’
So this piece of electronic correspondence has been brought to us by a Southern, elite, urban dwelling, fowl mouth; who truly believes in aliens.
If there were a merciful God jb would be dead by now.
I take it he dosnt beleive the fine news outlets at South Park. you saw what they did to Cartman. I think all Pastafarians every where should pray for this poor fools ass. and jb, (AKA dick munching ass clown) when the dish comes from your ass and they start their alien revolution, dont come running here…and for crying out loud…take a freakin english class.
yo mama is gay! i showed him B)
To back things up just a bit, using the term Y’all seems to me to indicate that JB is from the “Bible Belt” which seems to explain it all. The rest just sort falls into place with that datum.
this has to be a joke, look, they must be pranking us! sarcasm is comedy!!
Another soul cries for euthanasia.
I honestly love it when I get comments like that. They seem more amusing than anything else. In any case, since you guys corrected his obvious mistakes, I’m going to go back to reading other hate mail and eating Skettios. Is that taboo?
Er, I’m bi-sexual, does that count?
Oh! *blushing* Can you count? You know, what with the spelling grammar etc… *smiling sweetly*
I mean i wouldn’t want to insult you by implying you are stupid, but you are clearly ignorant and uneducated so i thought I should ask *smile*
You couldn’t, you know, when you have like the time, post some directions to this ‘real god’ could you? I bet FSM would like to meet her. Have a chat about divine things, how silly their creations are etc. *smile*
Have a pasta and fun filled day all *beam*,
nicci :)
…too bad you wont get a beer volcanoe and a stripper in heaven like we will, (thats a sin for him)
Ah, yes. This is where I just have to say it.
There is NO BLOODY WAY this is a real fundie, surely! He’s far more literate than most, and so much more open-minded… *cough*
Okay, so that’s the biggest lie since Paul said his mate was God.
But, well, I have to hope, don’t I?
I am apalled to hear it impugned in this forum that aliens are gay. They aren’t really gay so much as andorgynous, you know, both sets of organs. So I’m warnin’ ya’, jb, if you tell any of those aliens to go f*** themselves, they will.
I object to the senior moment in the post immediately prior to this one. Not androgynous, you numbskull, hermaphrodite! Twit!
please try to keep posts in english. i am from abroad and have problems with your slang
What! I am outraged to discover that Pastafarians are Homosexuals, there was no mention of having to follow a particular sexuality in the ltrtr wn i jnd fck y m ff t fck htrsxl lns. nd y cn hve th vwls wn’t b ndng ny mr.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Please excuse my brief moment of doubt in our faith, I have just spent the evening in worship at the temple of the beer volcano.
GEat söm spleling YAo! zo Le TIgRe dont Beat you WIthE the moUthz
If you can read this you probably need glasses!
this is what happens when you take valuable teaching time away from English classes to teach Intellegent Design….
JB, just a note for you homeboy - being an uneducated christian fundamentalist is not cool. You’re a tool.
WTF u r’tard he iz reel y u be hAtinz on my relijin. I’m in ur church wushippin’ ma jebus!
Well some us are gay. :)
OMG anover guy who cant speel! Really annoys me, that.
Are you somehow implying that aliens are unbelievable as well??!?
I take great offense at that.
Hailing from the planet Xiggly, it is only a matter of time before I shall enslave this small dooméd rock!
And one word of advice, Xiggly was by chance destroyed as no one there properly worshipped the local god Great Cthulhu. And I’m starting to see a resemblance. I’d start to worry.
I for one would like to welcome our new Xiggly overlords.
Hail Gordon!
learn spelling so we can know what you are chritisizing us for
Hello, Jambalaya Buttsex. Instead of thinking of something clever to say, I simply wish that His Noodly Holiness slaps you with His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen. Asshole.
Hmmmm….
Believing in the FSM makes us homosexual?
I’m sorry, I just don’t understand how they are related. :)
What, may I ask you, is a “real god”?
One that writes an entire Bible that promotes slavery and sexism? One that later changes His mind about the entire Old Testament?
One who decides on who goes to Heaven vs. Hell based upon the following?
1. This tyrant hated everyone who was not a white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant heterosexual and attempted to exterminate everyone else, thus resulting in the violent slaughter of millions of people. On his death bed, he sincerely asked Jesus to take over his life.
Correct Answer: A (Heaven). No matter how horrendous your pre-salvation conduct, if you accept Jesus and stop sinning, all prior sins are forgiven.
2. This man accepted Jesus and asked the Lord to take over his life, but after a month of being faithful to scripture, he resumed having sexual relations with his fiancé before they were married.
Correct Answer: B (Hell). As Hebrews explains, if you turn back to the ways of the world after accepting Jesus, your sins will not be forgiven and you cannot return to the state of salvation.
3. This incredibly kind young Asian woman devoted her whole life to caring for the handicapped and rarely said an unkind word about anyone. However, though a Baptist missionary once witnessed to her for five minutes, she nevertheless chose to remain in the non-Christian religion her parents, grandparents, neighbors and friends had taught her all her life.
Correct Answer: B (Hell) Accepting Christ is the only hope for salvation and anyone who fails to do so fries.
4. This man accepted Jesus when he was 12 and lived a wholesome, prayer-filled life until he was 30. He then backslid and engaged in lewd and lascivious conduct. At age 42, he again asked the Lord to return and take over his life, and he then lived an exemplary, unblemished Christian life until his death at age 85.
Correct Answer: B (Hell) As Hebrews says, once you backslide and fall away from the Lord, you can never go back
5. This sleazy Jewish girl didn’t really believe in Jesus, but when she was 12, she asked Jesus into her life in response to peer pressure and summer Bible vacation programs. She continued to whore around for the next 50 years, until she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and told by her doctor she had only days to live. She then studied the Bible and soon realized Jesus really is the Son of God. She died in her hospital room hours later.
Correct Answer: A (Heaven) This girl was never a backslider because she didn’t believe in Jesus when she supposedly asked Him into her life as a child and therefore wasn’t saved. She didn’t experience salvation for the first time until she was on her deathbed. Because it appears no intervening sin occurred between her first realization that Jesus is Lord and the remaining hours before her death, she is now singing with the angels.
6. This man truly believed Jesus is the Son of God but refused to turn His life over to the Lord, instead, continuing a crime spree including rape, child molestation and murder.
Correct Answer: A (Heaven) John merely says you have to believe in Jesus to experience everlasting life, not that you have to follow or obey Jesus.
7. This two-year-old child had parents who were trying to teach her about Jesus every day, but the girl was just too young to understand the difference between clean and dirty diapers let alone the difference between Jesus and the devil. She perished one day in an accident caused by a drunk driver who struck her parents’ car, hurling her from her infant seat into oncoming traffic.
Correct Answer: B (Hell) The girl never believed Jesus is the Son of God because she never reached an age or level of maturity at which she could maintain such a belief, thus she is being sodomized by the devil as you read this.
8. This intellectual just couldn’t bring himself to accept the outrageous, conflicting and bizarre stories of our faith. While he dedicated his life to helping others and personally chose not to engage in conduct the Bible deems sinful, he did so based on his personal convictions of right and wrong and not because the Lord ordered him to act that way. He died having helped thousands of individuals escape poverty, but he his intellect would not let him believe in Christ.
Correct Answer: B (Hell) Good deeds don’t cut the mustard. Either you let Jesus run the show or you burn. [Good deeds and being kind don’t count for crap with Jesus if you don’t flatter Him.]
9. This 55-year-old woman who accepted the Lord as a young girl lived a devout and pristine life, giving to others and constantly praising God until the day she died. However, upon being told her three-year-old granddaughter had been tortured, raped and murdered by five adult men, she questioned God’s existence and had a massive, fatal coronary shortly thereafter.
Correct Answer: B (Hell) Hebrews places no time limit on backsliding.
10. An aborted fetus
Correct Answer: B (Hell) Duh! Obviously, a fetus does not have the mental capacity to believe in Jesus. While Jesus, as a rabid anti-abortionist, cries inconsolably each time a little prince or princess is sucked out of its mother’s womb, He still picks them out of the vacuum cleaner and flings them into Hell without a moment’s thought, simply because He never heard the pre-birth baby say the only words He cares about: “You are fabulous Jesus and I love you more than any real people!”.
Is such a god any more of a “real god” than our holy FSM?
I’m sick of arguing with you. I’m gonna go eat some spaghetti.
Peace Love and Pirates to all! (Well, maybe not to bastards such as yourself.)
RAmen.
So again according to the uneducated Bob, your beliefs define your sexual status. Let me ask you something “Redneck”, why does the Catholic Church preach that we should treat everyone equally and how we’d like to be treated, and yet Homosexuals, Lesbians, Bisexuals etc are hated and not condoned by the church? Catholicism=Hypocrisy!
And if you don’t understand any word in my above statement (which i’m sure you won’t understand about 50% of the words with more than 2 letters) feel free to use a dictionary.
instead of JB it should be BJ beacuse thats all else he has to do because he has NO LIFE!
Actually, you illiterate retard, there is far greater likelihood of there being intelligent life on other planets than there being a god, of any kind. and just for the record, who do you believe created the aliens, or didn’t your all knowing god tell you, you heathen!
Heres a riddle: Shakespeare could do it but you can’t ?
The Answer: Spell
Domb shit can’t even spell fuck right
invest in spell check
Dumb ass
homophobes round every corner.
I’m not even going to look at this until you go back to kindergarten and learn to spell, you fucking redneck hillbilly.
Ever thought about the fact that God says adultery is wrong, but then has a baby with Mary who’s married to…what’s his name…crap I forgot. Sorry, I’m not into Christianity.
First of all let me commend you wonderful spelling and your grasp of the english language(redneck) omg wtif lmao idftu uirtaj irg iafgafg JEEZ!
-RAmen
jb=
a jim beam
b jiggy bloke
c jesus’ buttbuddy
d justifiably bitter
e jealous of bisexuals
f john the baptist
g jawing balsphemies (which will inevitably lead to stale beer and nasty strippers)
h jerk ball
i jizz boy
j jabberwocking bile
k kickass bunghole
Not all the pastafarians are gay.
I am though lol
And given the vast quantities of space and time
Aliens probly do exist somewere
wow..just wow..if you think about though..everyone are aliens if you get my drift were all strangers somewhere
I beleive in aliens too
honestly you can’t seriously be vain enough to see billions of planets out there and think ours is the only one with life on it.
oh wait yes you can, you beleive in a god who created an entire universe with billions of planets and stars just so that we could have something to look at, one who created man ‘in his own image’ to be his chosen species.
p.s. get a brain
Wow!!
Is education optional in the US??
Even for the bible-addled dolts who send us hate mail this guy is exceptional.
I’ll pray to the FSM for him (and his teachers)
Haha.
He/she starts out “Y’all” a very southern introduction.
Then switches to “dis shyt” which is a very urban or “ghetto” spelling of “this shit”.
Its great. :D
Made my day.
Where do you think there from?
The down south ghetto?
Lol.
I have nothing wrong with either ethnics, but together, its just fucking funny.
It’s probably just another wanna-be ganster.
:D
This mail just gets better and better.