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Last week I had a near death experience, I felt so weak like I was going away for good, I saw all my life passing through my eyes, but suddenly a glimpse of something very real and very warm took me back to the world, it was the vision of the Great Master The FSM, I have no doubts that He’s out there and He loves each one of us in the same way. We got to show our love to Him. In this way the world will start to be a better place.
-joh
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Joh you are a cool dude to have a near death experiance and it involves the FSM, Congrats to you.
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Cool, glad to hear you are feeling better.
My reading of the Gospel has me thinking the FSM really isn’t all that into us, one of his more endearing traits IMHO.
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Congrat Joh,
Glad to hear you’re getting better.
Pasta be with you,
Ramen
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Jon,
it is sad that you were near death but joyous that you survived and are able to tell us about seeing the FSM.
i do hope you are feeling better.
RAmen
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RAmen
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WOW!!! How amazing it is that you saw Him!!!!! THE GREAT HIM!!!!
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the Merciful and Compassionate One has touched you with His Noodly warmth and you have been found blessed.
Praise the FSM, Creator of Worlds, the Compassionate!!
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Next time try to get drunk on cuban rum before the NDE, that should make the experience more vivid.
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congratultaions on seeing the holy one
i am glad too see you are feeling better
may pasta be with you
Ramen
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Truly He works in strange ways. Also, I have a theory.
1) The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Great as He is, would have really designed what appears to be the dominant species, humans, to be so inefficient? I think not.
2) Thus, He must have had some kind of subordinate to design sentient life while He did other, more miraculous things. Such as creating Ravioli.
3) I theorize that this subordinate could have been a god one of the more mainstream religions. God, Allah, etc.
4) Perhaps this subordinate seceeded from His Carbohydrated Kingdom, to form Christianity, Islam, Judaeism, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc. Or maybe even all of the above, which merely had different views and customs based on climate and such.
5) Admittedly, this human-like subordinate is more believable that the Flying Spaghetti Monster, perhaps because they can relate to the subordinate more than a large Italian dish. Or perhaps, even, this subordinate designed humans to break away from their real Creator, in order to steal the throne for itself?
6) We must cling to our real God. We will not let some imposter usurp His Carbohydrated Kingdom.
Thank you for your time. Ramen.
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Thinking of what Grandmaster Funk said I have come to the conclusion that (no offence to anyone) Jesus may have had Pasta during his Last Supper. Does anyone know if he did?
All Gods are one God = the Flying Spahetti Monster.
Maybe all holy people ever seen on earth were actually bits of noodle from Him the FSM. On contact with earth they become holy people? Yet another theory to dwell on.
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I just thought i’d let everyone know that i introduced 300 people to the FSM today in school, and after a recent poll it turned out like this.
Religions I Enjoy
Christianity- 20
Catholicism- 34
Misc. Other- 87
Pastafarianismn- 132 (Ah yeah)
P.S. I know the Numbers don’t add up and i blame FSM
-Ramen
Oh yeah and regarding the comment dude i’d like to give you props as well on making jokes to the very end
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Did you take a photo? Get an autograph? Or did you miss out on a great ebay opportunity?
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It is quite possible, “R”. Jesus was a fine lad, I can’t see why the FSM wouldn’t like him. But of all the people of the world, I think the Italians hold His favor. They were the intstruments to bringing His form into the world. There must be something special about them. Perhaps we should all make a pilgrimage to Florence? In the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Ramen.
PS: Jesus did do some great things. Such as help the poor. I find it horribly ironic that the Super-Christians conservatives uphold few if none of his ideals.
PPS: Pardon me going off-topic. I just picked the first forum to spread my theories about.
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Did you manage to get a peek at any of those strippers, or a sip of volcano beer? (Somebody should start brewing Beer Volcano Beer.)
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The Flying Spaghetti Monster came to me too in a vision.
I prayed and was answered.
Yes, a saucy noodly appendage came to me in the night and awoke me with a divine ecstasy.
But the Great FSM is a SHE, yes She told me that Her meaty balls were ovaries and Her saucy noodles were fallopian tubes.
She will menstruate Her tomatoey love all over the world!
Peace and love and eternal worship of our goddess, FSM.
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I’d just like to say I had a truly enlightning experiance when I was eating my pot noodle, (chicken and mushroom to be precise) when an image emerged. Twas his glorified noddly goodness, i was so exiteted i made a mess in my pants. does anyone else find his holiness as sexy as i do?
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pasta be with ye dude, how wondrous to have seen the FSM!
glad ye ahrr feeling better.
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I heard the voice of the FSM in the late 70’s while knocking on deaths door. He didn’t take my soul then as I had a further purpose in his Pastaness’s great plan. Today, I have seen the light, as the lid was lifted off the pot at the point of pasta perfection! Be one with the pasta! Rejoice in it’s sauce!
May you see the bottom of the plate while bringing the eternal goodness of the duram wheat into your very being! You are what you eat, gorge on pasta lovers.
Sauce Walter
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Brother Grandmaster Funk;
I believe the popular opinion among the prophets about creating humankind, with all the mistakes, was that the FSM was indeed drunk.
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RAmen, brother
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RAmen!
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