You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God

Published March 10th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God. So I guess I don’t need to tell you that materialism and Marxism/communism go hand in hand.

And since you got this all figured out I wont bother to tell you that the adherents of materialism Lenin, Stalin, Mao and the Cama Rouge have killed more than 150 million people.

I don’t need to tell you that your intelligent philosophy led China to the world’s most devastating famine ever recorded. There is no need to inform you of the heartless Cama Rouge (materialists who though people were no more than animals) who annihilated scores and scored of Cambodians by choking them to death with plastic bags, because bullets were to precious.

I’m sure you are aware that although materialist seeks to eliminate God the adverse effect becomes the materialist philosophers being worshipped by their followers.

Think this is a stupid remark? Well look at Mao, the Chinese worshipped him as a “super human”. Lenin was revered as such a great fella we can still see his preserved body on display in Russia.

You doubtless know that your philosophy led Stalin to install a very intelligent Materialist Scientist as the head of the Russian Ag. Committee.

This intelligent man postulated that crop production could be increased if the fundamental concepts of evolution were employed in farming techniques.

He postulated this: Russias severe cold hinders crop production. However if there were a way to produce a hearty breed of wheat adapted to the Russian climate crop production could be increased.

He concluded that if a seed of wheat were immersed in cold water for duration of time it would “evolve” and adapt to cold temps. After the seeds cold water bath it could then be planted and would yield in abundance.

You doubtless know when Stalin implemented this new farming technique it miserably failed and a famine ensued.

I’m sure you know that you’re intelligent philosophy lead Mao Zedong to destroy families throughout China. I’m sure you know that he convinced children to reject the idea of a “family unit” and to cling to communism as a parental figure.

I’m sure that you know China will kill anyone whose ideals deviating outside its materialistic principals. I’m sure you know China destroys free thinking people like all ya’ll kids. I’m sure you know that those who lived in China during Mao’s reign, or in Russia during Stalin’s or Lenin’s reign were tossed into death camps or shot in the head for not supporting their regime and its tyrannical principals.

I guess you know that your wonderful philosophy if carried out would enslave mankind and turn them into animals. But maybe you don’t mind eating human flesh during a mass famine because your materialistic leader has devastated your economy in order to reform his countries citizens.

Perhaps you don’t mind losing your children, mother and father to assassination. Maybe you don’t mind everything you own being confiscated by the Govt and then being forced to work on a farm or infrastructure project till you die a miserable death.

Although some of your science may be right the application of your philosophy (if carried out on a global level) would destroy mankind.

Yup, you guys got it figured out.

Im gonna go eat spaghetti and thank God for the wheat and tomatoes He created to make such a delicous dish…. I guess that makes the spaghettis monster a “demi-god” cuz he came from wheat and tomatoes. Plus he had to be processed in a chef boyarde factory.

Hmm… So because he is proceesed does that make the factory that made him a superior being? Perhaps because the workers in the factory ran the spaghetti making eqpt to procees him then he is actually even inferior to mankind. I guess it follows your worshipping something inferior to yourself.

What if youy eat the spaghetti monster… Do you worship him after he has been passed into the bowl?I guess it follows you would be worshipping your own night soil?

Yeah you guys got it figured out… You worship your own excrement…
-Johnathon

You guys

Published March 5th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

You guys are seriously fucked up…

I’ll pray for you :)

-mariahjosh

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35 Comments

Secret Pastafarian Video Exposed

Published March 5th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

cruise.jpgAs most of the internet knows, Tom Cruise recently made a video for the Church of Scientology, which many people found creepy. Some have gone so far as to call it borderline sociopathic.

If you haven’t seen the video, you may want to watch it. Here’s the link. It’s about 10 minutes long but you certainly don’t need to watch it all to get a sense of Mr. Cruise’s dedication to his church and its teachings.

Not to be outdone, Pastafarian Ed Adkins has created an amazing video for our church. Enjoy:

Here’s a link to Ed’s Blog.

4346 Views
26 Comments

ancient fsm pottery

Published March 4th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

J.D. Hutton aka Pontius Pirate came across this ancient fsm pottery:

pottery21.jpg

pottery41.jpg

it seems to me like

Published March 1st, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

hey

it seems to me like your all getting very worked up. im seeing a guy who started a satirical religion to protest against only a single point of view being taught at schools. i agree with him, i think that people should be offered many points of view before making their own decisions. but this has gone too far. both the christians and the fsm people need to learn to respect each others opinions. if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything. i respect that both religions teach to try and convert but please be civil to one another. this has got to the point where it is no longer an intelligent discussion about evolution and intelligent design being taught but it has become a petty argument. stop insulting each other and be nice. christianity teaches that you should respect others and fsm is not about panning other religions. please see sense and at least be nice to each other and accept that different people believe different things.

thank you for putting up with my ramblings

anon

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