You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God

Published March 10th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God. So I guess I don’t need to tell you that materialism and Marxism/communism go hand in hand.

And since you got this all figured out I wont bother to tell you that the adherents of materialism Lenin, Stalin, Mao and the Cama Rouge have killed more than 150 million people.

I don’t need to tell you that your intelligent philosophy led China to the world’s most devastating famine ever recorded. There is no need to inform you of the heartless Cama Rouge (materialists who though people were no more than animals) who annihilated scores and scored of Cambodians by choking them to death with plastic bags, because bullets were to precious.

I’m sure you are aware that although materialist seeks to eliminate God the adverse effect becomes the materialist philosophers being worshipped by their followers.

Think this is a stupid remark? Well look at Mao, the Chinese worshipped him as a “super human”. Lenin was revered as such a great fella we can still see his preserved body on display in Russia.

You doubtless know that your philosophy led Stalin to install a very intelligent Materialist Scientist as the head of the Russian Ag. Committee.

This intelligent man postulated that crop production could be increased if the fundamental concepts of evolution were employed in farming techniques.

He postulated this: Russias severe cold hinders crop production. However if there were a way to produce a hearty breed of wheat adapted to the Russian climate crop production could be increased.

He concluded that if a seed of wheat were immersed in cold water for duration of time it would “evolve” and adapt to cold temps. After the seeds cold water bath it could then be planted and would yield in abundance.

You doubtless know when Stalin implemented this new farming technique it miserably failed and a famine ensued.

I’m sure you know that you’re intelligent philosophy lead Mao Zedong to destroy families throughout China. I’m sure you know that he convinced children to reject the idea of a “family unit” and to cling to communism as a parental figure.

I’m sure that you know China will kill anyone whose ideals deviating outside its materialistic principals. I’m sure you know China destroys free thinking people like all ya’ll kids. I’m sure you know that those who lived in China during Mao’s reign, or in Russia during Stalin’s or Lenin’s reign were tossed into death camps or shot in the head for not supporting their regime and its tyrannical principals.

I guess you know that your wonderful philosophy if carried out would enslave mankind and turn them into animals. But maybe you don’t mind eating human flesh during a mass famine because your materialistic leader has devastated your economy in order to reform his countries citizens.

Perhaps you don’t mind losing your children, mother and father to assassination. Maybe you don’t mind everything you own being confiscated by the Govt and then being forced to work on a farm or infrastructure project till you die a miserable death.

Although some of your science may be right the application of your philosophy (if carried out on a global level) would destroy mankind.

Yup, you guys got it figured out.

Im gonna go eat spaghetti and thank God for the wheat and tomatoes He created to make such a delicous dish…. I guess that makes the spaghettis monster a “demi-god” cuz he came from wheat and tomatoes. Plus he had to be processed in a chef boyarde factory.

Hmm… So because he is proceesed does that make the factory that made him a superior being? Perhaps because the workers in the factory ran the spaghetti making eqpt to procees him then he is actually even inferior to mankind. I guess it follows your worshipping something inferior to yourself.

What if youy eat the spaghetti monster… Do you worship him after he has been passed into the bowl?I guess it follows you would be worshipping your own night soil?

Yeah you guys got it figured out… You worship your own excrement…
-Johnathon



433 Responses to “You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God”

  1. euancharles says:

    Your mum fucked an encyclopaedia salesman didn’t she? Obviously she didn’t impress or he would have come back with the other half of your education…

    I’m all for education, I really am… But some people should not be allowed near books… Or other people…

    Jonothan is one of those people

  2. the outer mongolian says:

    GOD created the universe and everything in it… MAN created religion. That is why the world is so fucked up by religion.
    I’m off to have a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs for my evenings worship.
    Keep on keeping on FSM

  3. Garrick McElroy says:

    What theology lead China into the worst famine ever, exactly? Everything else is just dribble. Lenin and those other guys have nothing to do with us.

    Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
    -GM
    RAmen

    If you have any questions about, or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net

  4. Jake R says:

    So materialism = communism and that means that evolution isn’t true (cause commies thought it was) and that we worship poop because we poop after eating spaghetti, man my 2 year old sister makes more sense that that.

  5. Angry_Noodle says:

    Bullshit.
    How many people have believers in your god killed? There’s all of the genocide commited by the Jews in the bible, when God apparently said,”Their beliefs are not the same as yours. Because of this, I command you to kill them all, and it’s okay to rape whomever you want as long as you burn everything down afterwards.

    Then, there’s the Crusades, the Inquisition, and more. I think the total death count is excessively higher than that of the death count of what Stalin ever did. And Stalin was an atheist. We are Pastafarians.

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    I wonder if it is gonna be true? Could THE Donald going to run for president? He’d get a bunch of support!

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