You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God

Published March 10th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God. So I guess I don’t need to tell you that materialism and Marxism/communism go hand in hand.

And since you got this all figured out I wont bother to tell you that the adherents of materialism Lenin, Stalin, Mao and the Cama Rouge have killed more than 150 million people.

I don’t need to tell you that your intelligent philosophy led China to the world’s most devastating famine ever recorded. There is no need to inform you of the heartless Cama Rouge (materialists who though people were no more than animals) who annihilated scores and scored of Cambodians by choking them to death with plastic bags, because bullets were to precious.

I’m sure you are aware that although materialist seeks to eliminate God the adverse effect becomes the materialist philosophers being worshipped by their followers.

Think this is a stupid remark? Well look at Mao, the Chinese worshipped him as a “super human”. Lenin was revered as such a great fella we can still see his preserved body on display in Russia.

You doubtless know that your philosophy led Stalin to install a very intelligent Materialist Scientist as the head of the Russian Ag. Committee.

This intelligent man postulated that crop production could be increased if the fundamental concepts of evolution were employed in farming techniques.

He postulated this: Russias severe cold hinders crop production. However if there were a way to produce a hearty breed of wheat adapted to the Russian climate crop production could be increased.

He concluded that if a seed of wheat were immersed in cold water for duration of time it would “evolve” and adapt to cold temps. After the seeds cold water bath it could then be planted and would yield in abundance.

You doubtless know when Stalin implemented this new farming technique it miserably failed and a famine ensued.

I’m sure you know that you’re intelligent philosophy lead Mao Zedong to destroy families throughout China. I’m sure you know that he convinced children to reject the idea of a “family unit” and to cling to communism as a parental figure.

I’m sure that you know China will kill anyone whose ideals deviating outside its materialistic principals. I’m sure you know China destroys free thinking people like all ya’ll kids. I’m sure you know that those who lived in China during Mao’s reign, or in Russia during Stalin’s or Lenin’s reign were tossed into death camps or shot in the head for not supporting their regime and its tyrannical principals.

I guess you know that your wonderful philosophy if carried out would enslave mankind and turn them into animals. But maybe you don’t mind eating human flesh during a mass famine because your materialistic leader has devastated your economy in order to reform his countries citizens.

Perhaps you don’t mind losing your children, mother and father to assassination. Maybe you don’t mind everything you own being confiscated by the Govt and then being forced to work on a farm or infrastructure project till you die a miserable death.

Although some of your science may be right the application of your philosophy (if carried out on a global level) would destroy mankind.

Yup, you guys got it figured out.

Im gonna go eat spaghetti and thank God for the wheat and tomatoes He created to make such a delicous dish…. I guess that makes the spaghettis monster a “demi-god” cuz he came from wheat and tomatoes. Plus he had to be processed in a chef boyarde factory.

Hmm… So because he is proceesed does that make the factory that made him a superior being? Perhaps because the workers in the factory ran the spaghetti making eqpt to procees him then he is actually even inferior to mankind. I guess it follows your worshipping something inferior to yourself.

What if youy eat the spaghetti monster… Do you worship him after he has been passed into the bowl?I guess it follows you would be worshipping your own night soil?

Yeah you guys got it figured out… You worship your own excrement…
-Johnathon



433 Responses to “You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God”

  1. Pastor Conchiglie says:

    “What if youy eat the spaghetti monster… Do you worship him after he has been passed into the bowl?I guess it follows you would be worshipping your own night soil?

    Yeah you guys got it figured out… You worship your own excrement…”

    Maybe it’s worth mentioning to the 1.1 billion Catholics across the world the fact that they like to eat the BODY of Christ and even go as far as to drink his BLOOD is roughly the same thing.

    It all comes out in the end.

    Pastafari!

  2. Cap'n Ollie says:

    No, you don’t need to…
    And yet you still do.

  3. green man says:

    you make communism look bad ut all those countrys were crappy beefor communism i bet it would work really well in some of the Medc’s and why so synical he noodely goodness is not synical just a heavy drinker what is actally bad about spaghetti i love it and meat balls go and post your long hatefilled anti communist anti FSM pots on a web site that does not have a main section put up to laugh at people like you

    RAmen

  4. green man says:

    what is wrong with communism and you try to eat that much flying spaghetti i’d struggle wit hjut one fo those noodley appendages ot htat i would want to eat a god.

  5. KaTkA says:

    How to mix Pastafarianism and Communism? Please tell me, I’d try that as a sauce on my spaghetti.

    And oh yeah, tomatoes sure are Communism red.

  6. RK says:

    *sigh* Its awesome when the people who hate mail us make sense.

    We don’t promote communism OR atheism. Anyone can believe whatever they wish to believe, as long as they don’t teach it as truth. Creationists, realizing that they made no sense what-so-ever decided to create ID to make their ideas more acceptable, and to be taught as scientific fact, along with evolution. Pastafarianism makes just as much sense as ID, so Robert Henderson, mocking the Kansas School Board’s proposal to teach ID, wrote an open letter telling them that his theory is just as acceptable, and should be taught along with ID if it was accepted.

    Evolution is based on observable evidence and logical conjecture. It is not our fault that Stalin’s Ag. Committee misused Darwin’s ideas.

    And tell me this, Johnathan: how many people has religion killed? Wars over religion have been happening since humans developed the idea of god, with the only justification being “my god is better than yours”. Hitler, committed the most infamous acts of genocide under the pretense that they were Jewish. What authority do you have to call us supporters of mass murder, my little Christian (assuming you’re Christian, as other groups aren’t as pretentious)?

    Oh, and stop being condescending. We’re not dipshits. Now find a legitimate argument or piss off.

    For everyone else, Peace, love and complex carbohydrates to all!

    RAmen

  7. Dusty says:

    I wonder if the Amazing-Johnathon means Khmer Rouge… Further he asks if we worship His Noodly Goodness after “…he has been passed into the bowl?”. Spaghetti on a plate or in a bowl… Still delicious!
    RAmen

  8. spiderwebby says:

    got to starlin killing 150 million and couldent help thinking: hmmm, so how many people has you so called god killed? well, theres the great flood, half of egypt…

    good argument..

Leave a Reply