You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God

Published March 10th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God. So I guess I don’t need to tell you that materialism and Marxism/communism go hand in hand.

And since you got this all figured out I wont bother to tell you that the adherents of materialism Lenin, Stalin, Mao and the Cama Rouge have killed more than 150 million people.

I don’t need to tell you that your intelligent philosophy led China to the world’s most devastating famine ever recorded. There is no need to inform you of the heartless Cama Rouge (materialists who though people were no more than animals) who annihilated scores and scored of Cambodians by choking them to death with plastic bags, because bullets were to precious.

I’m sure you are aware that although materialist seeks to eliminate God the adverse effect becomes the materialist philosophers being worshipped by their followers.

Think this is a stupid remark? Well look at Mao, the Chinese worshipped him as a “super human”. Lenin was revered as such a great fella we can still see his preserved body on display in Russia.

You doubtless know that your philosophy led Stalin to install a very intelligent Materialist Scientist as the head of the Russian Ag. Committee.

This intelligent man postulated that crop production could be increased if the fundamental concepts of evolution were employed in farming techniques.

He postulated this: Russias severe cold hinders crop production. However if there were a way to produce a hearty breed of wheat adapted to the Russian climate crop production could be increased.

He concluded that if a seed of wheat were immersed in cold water for duration of time it would “evolve” and adapt to cold temps. After the seeds cold water bath it could then be planted and would yield in abundance.

You doubtless know when Stalin implemented this new farming technique it miserably failed and a famine ensued.

I’m sure you know that you’re intelligent philosophy lead Mao Zedong to destroy families throughout China. I’m sure you know that he convinced children to reject the idea of a “family unit” and to cling to communism as a parental figure.

I’m sure that you know China will kill anyone whose ideals deviating outside its materialistic principals. I’m sure you know China destroys free thinking people like all ya’ll kids. I’m sure you know that those who lived in China during Mao’s reign, or in Russia during Stalin’s or Lenin’s reign were tossed into death camps or shot in the head for not supporting their regime and its tyrannical principals.

I guess you know that your wonderful philosophy if carried out would enslave mankind and turn them into animals. But maybe you don’t mind eating human flesh during a mass famine because your materialistic leader has devastated your economy in order to reform his countries citizens.

Perhaps you don’t mind losing your children, mother and father to assassination. Maybe you don’t mind everything you own being confiscated by the Govt and then being forced to work on a farm or infrastructure project till you die a miserable death.

Although some of your science may be right the application of your philosophy (if carried out on a global level) would destroy mankind.

Yup, you guys got it figured out.

Im gonna go eat spaghetti and thank God for the wheat and tomatoes He created to make such a delicous dish…. I guess that makes the spaghettis monster a “demi-god” cuz he came from wheat and tomatoes. Plus he had to be processed in a chef boyarde factory.

Hmm… So because he is proceesed does that make the factory that made him a superior being? Perhaps because the workers in the factory ran the spaghetti making eqpt to procees him then he is actually even inferior to mankind. I guess it follows your worshipping something inferior to yourself.

What if youy eat the spaghetti monster… Do you worship him after he has been passed into the bowl?I guess it follows you would be worshipping your own night soil?

Yeah you guys got it figured out… You worship your own excrement…
-Johnathon



433 Responses to “You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God”

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  1. Vinny says:

    I think the single funniest thing about this letter is that the guy can’t even spell his own name. Either that or his parents couldn’t and just taught him the wrong spelling.

    And your assumption that materialism and Communism go hand in hand is amusing. Does it really? So if you don’t worship God you’re a communist? This is one of the most laughable ad absurdum arguments I’ve ever heard.

  2. lord spamulon says:

    Obviously, the being of pirates and worshipping of a carbohydrate deity means we are murderous, hate-filled bastards with no emotions, no conscience, nothing.

    Thanks for reminding us!

  3. mentos says:

    Ugh. Don’t even start about violence caused by disbelief in god.

    Violence by belief in god is three times worse. Obviously you knew Hitler was a devout Christian? Obviously you have heard about the crusades? Obviously about 90% of all wars was caused by religion, or used religion to cover up the true causes?

    Go choke in your obviousnes. You SUCK! And so does your ideologist bullshit.

    Okay, so the extremely stupid evolutionist causing a famine was wrong.
    However, if we let the extremely stupid religist pray for a nice harvest, it will all work out?

    Read the fucking bible. It said Jesus himself is not against slavery.

  4. neal says:

    Jonothan:

    You are so intelligent you doubtless know that Christnians unneccessayrily conducted a war whose butchery was so savage that it caused blood to flow ankle deep in the streets of your holies city. It was called the crusades.

    You doubtless know that Pope Pius XII was a nazi sympathizer who helped humdred if not thousand of genocidal maniacs and war criminals escape from Europe after WWII with Vattican passpoorts.

    You doubtless know that waterboarding, along with a variety of other torture techniques was invented by the Jesuits during the Spanish inquisition.

    You doubtless know that a bible believing Xtain stole the Presidency in 2000, neglected intelligence reports in July 2001 which led to the tragedy of 9/11, and then lied to the American people and its congress, promoted an unnecessary war with Iraw whoich has killed between 600,000 and 1 million Iraquis while costing this nation 3000+ of its own sons and daughters, not to mention upwards of 1 trillion dollars which can not be used to help its own people who are struggling in the midst of a recession. All the while sanctioning a variety of war crimes such as the ones committed at Abu Graib and Gitmo. Not the mention the wholesal abrogation of constitutional rights through such legislation as the “Patriot Act” and the “Protet America” Act.

    You doubtless know that fundamentalist christians in the United States are at war with those who choose to exercise their constitutional right to disbeliefve the crap you are laying down and live their lives as they see fit while harming no one in the process.

    In short you doubtless know you are complete asshold to suggest that the evils of the world flow out of a non-belief in god and religion when all around you the most extreme behavior is practiced by the most ardent believers in religion. Extremist Jews assinated Yitsak Shamir, extremist Islams gave us 9/11 aned worldwide Jihad, extremist Christias gave us the mess in Northern Ireland. And you know what, you are right that the cummunists and the Nazi caused an untold amount of chaos, terror and bloodshed. But if you think about it, you will realize that the “true belieers” of those ideologies were really embracing a secular faith-an irrational belief system which satisfied their religious impulses. In short it is the religious impulse that caused even those attrocities. That’s the same impulse you embrace, and most of the posters on thie board reject.

  5. Furby-killer says:

    Title was certainly promising. Too bad that the rest of the mail couldnt keep it at that level.

  6. przxqgl says:

    “adherents of materialism Lenin, Stalin, Mao and the Cama Rouge”

    it took me a couple of readings to figure out that he was referring to the khmer rouge…

    once i figured that out, he needed to say nothing more to convince me of his unfitness to say whatever it was that he was saying.

  7. Paul The Burptist says:

    “I guess I don’t need to tell you that materialism and Marxism/communism go hand in hand.” Huh? Where do you make that link? Citation of evidence please. I do enjoy a good fairy tale. Talk about crazy – apparently the FSM way of life/thinking will lead us to communism and killing everyone. I really enjoyed the diarrhea regarding eating human flesh. It takes a special genius to come up with that. And by special I mean stupid and by genius I mean Johnathon the village idiot.
    .
    May You Be Blessed By The Touch of His Noodly Goodness
    RAmen.

  8. Brian says:

    Infinity times 0 still equals zero.

    Rant, rant, rant, yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah blah.

    I don’t understand why the religious use others killing people as justification for their own wars and mass murders.

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