You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God. So I guess I don’t need to tell you that materialism and Marxism/communism go hand in hand.And since you got this all figured out I wont bother to tell you that the adherents of materialism Lenin, Stalin, Mao and the Cama Rouge have killed more than 150 million people.
I don’t need to tell you that your intelligent philosophy led China to the world’s most devastating famine ever recorded. There is no need to inform you of the heartless Cama Rouge (materialists who though people were no more than animals) who annihilated scores and scored of Cambodians by choking them to death with plastic bags, because bullets were to precious.
I’m sure you are aware that although materialist seeks to eliminate God the adverse effect becomes the materialist philosophers being worshipped by their followers.
Think this is a stupid remark? Well look at Mao, the Chinese worshipped him as a “super human”. Lenin was revered as such a great fella we can still see his preserved body on display in Russia.
You doubtless know that your philosophy led Stalin to install a very intelligent Materialist Scientist as the head of the Russian Ag. Committee.
This intelligent man postulated that crop production could be increased if the fundamental concepts of evolution were employed in farming techniques.
He postulated this: Russias severe cold hinders crop production. However if there were a way to produce a hearty breed of wheat adapted to the Russian climate crop production could be increased.
He concluded that if a seed of wheat were immersed in cold water for duration of time it would “evolve” and adapt to cold temps. After the seeds cold water bath it could then be planted and would yield in abundance.
You doubtless know when Stalin implemented this new farming technique it miserably failed and a famine ensued.
I’m sure you know that you’re intelligent philosophy lead Mao Zedong to destroy families throughout China. I’m sure you know that he convinced children to reject the idea of a “family unit” and to cling to communism as a parental figure.
I’m sure that you know China will kill anyone whose ideals deviating outside its materialistic principals. I’m sure you know China destroys free thinking people like all ya’ll kids. I’m sure you know that those who lived in China during Mao’s reign, or in Russia during Stalin’s or Lenin’s reign were tossed into death camps or shot in the head for not supporting their regime and its tyrannical principals.
I guess you know that your wonderful philosophy if carried out would enslave mankind and turn them into animals. But maybe you don’t mind eating human flesh during a mass famine because your materialistic leader has devastated your economy in order to reform his countries citizens.
Perhaps you don’t mind losing your children, mother and father to assassination. Maybe you don’t mind everything you own being confiscated by the Govt and then being forced to work on a farm or infrastructure project till you die a miserable death.
Although some of your science may be right the application of your philosophy (if carried out on a global level) would destroy mankind.
Yup, you guys got it figured out.
Im gonna go eat spaghetti and thank God for the wheat and tomatoes He created to make such a delicous dish…. I guess that makes the spaghettis monster a “demi-god” cuz he came from wheat and tomatoes. Plus he had to be processed in a chef boyarde factory.
Hmm… So because he is proceesed does that make the factory that made him a superior being? Perhaps because the workers in the factory ran the spaghetti making eqpt to procees him then he is actually even inferior to mankind. I guess it follows your worshipping something inferior to yourself.
What if youy eat the spaghetti monster… Do you worship him after he has been passed into the bowl?I guess it follows you would be worshipping your own night soil?
Yeah you guys got it figured out… You worship your own excrement…
-Johnathon
You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God
Published by henderob March 10th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).390 Responses to “You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God”
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41 - March 10th, 2008 at 3:34 pm - daryle Says:
Man, you’re missing something important. All your examples are of various types and levels of dogma. We do not approve of dogma, your God’s or anyone else’s. Please examine the Gospel of the FSM. You may find we have much in common, if you are morally against the ideas you used as examples, Ramen.
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42 - March 10th, 2008 at 3:46 pm - Dan Says:
Henderob, again you show your total ignorance, this time not only by signing a different name, but also spelling the fake name wrong.
Nice going.
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43 - March 10th, 2008 at 3:53 pm - FUSILLONI Says:
Oh what glorious words! Where to begin with the everlasting praise!
Nothing is a better tool for guiding our own morality than the unsubstantiated word of some backwater stone age peasants. I mean, who can doubt the wisdom of our (here in the US) uneducated backwater hillbillies of today? Remove the knowledge gained over ages and we have wisdom of ‘biblical’ proportions. Being so close to Him lets the wisdom trickle in and down and is the best way to spread the ‘word’. Lest we forget for a moment, the great surveillance camera in the sky, whose ability to read our very thoughts is not daunted by mere tinfoil, be removed for a minute, what chaos and immorality would result! Why I wouldn’t know that it is wrong to beat my slaves within an inch of thier miserable lives - oh wait that’s OK according to the Old Testament. See there I go again not knowing right from wrong without His wisdom.
Why believe in things that can be tested such as scientific theories that are all complicated and full of math? Besides, what major religions even have math in them anyway? I kind of doubt math even exists as it is undoubtedly man made and thus inferior so I never bothered to understand it in the first place! What a timesaver! Moreover, what major religions even value thinking prowess? None - which is why I don’t bother!
Religion never hurt anyone! Infallible! Do you know what Infallible means! Infallible! As a young boy many a closely whispered word by priests made me feel so warm - down there. Infallible! And Screw U Copernicus!
Oh, and the whole evolution comment. So true! Dipping a wheat seed in cold water would totally adapt it to cold climes according to modern theory. Take that Science! In your face!
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44 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:08 pm - Tar Says:
Jonathon, as far as I’m concerned, most of us are incredibly liberal and democratic. Even take a look at our president’s poll! We were all for Barack Obama, who happens to be Christian to all of you doubters. Very few of us are Communist advocates the way you make us look like. And anyways, Walmart wouldn’t exist without China…
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Anyhoo, to your point. About your Stalin example, well, Stalin certainly had an insufficient amount of knowledge of Evolution. Our current world, on the other hand, has. Thanks to the discovery of DNA, and the possibilities of genetic engineering, we HAVE made plants to withstand colder climates (but there are limits). In fact, almost every vegetables and fruits you buy are genetically modified plants to withstand pests and climate. What’s more, we can even make glow-in-the-dark tobacco plants! Cool, right?
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What does all of this have to do with Evolution? Simple: your DNA is the hard-coded blueprint that shows you have a pre-set ability of surviving on certain conditions. You can pass this down to you children in a process called inheritance; but some mistakes can occur, leading to mutation. We decided to exploit this process by manually making mutations, then having that DNA decoded by some other cells. There you have it: the birth of glow-in-a-dark plants and mice.
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Science has its magic. You should study it more. -
45 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:12 pm - FUSILLONI Says:
Oh what glorious words! Where to begin with the everlasting praise!
Nothing is a better tool for guiding our own morality than the unsubstantiated word of some backwater stone age peasants. I mean, who can doubt the wisdom of our (here in the US) uneducated backwater hillbillies of today? Remove the knowledge gained over ages and we have wisdom of ‘biblical’ proportions. Being so close to Him lets the wisdom trickle in and down and is the best way to spread the ‘word’. Lest we forget for a moment, the great surveillance camera in the sky, whose ability to read our very thoughts is not daunted by mere tinfoil, be removed for a minute, what chaos and immorality would result! Why I wouldn’t know that it is wrong to beat my slaves - oh wait that’s OK according to the Old Testament. See there I go again not knowing right from wrong without His wisdom.
Why believe in things that can be tested such as scientific theories that are all complicated and full of math? Besides, what major religions even have math in them anyway? I kind of doubt math even exists as it is undoubtedly man made and thus inferior so I never bothered to understand it in the first place! What a timesaver! Moreover, what major religions even value thinking prowess? None - which is why I don’t bother!
Religion never hurt anyone! Infallible! Do you know what Infallible means! Infallible! As a young boy many a closely whispered word by priests made me feel so warm - down there. Infallible! And Screw U Copernicus!
Oh, and the whole evolution comment. So true! Dipping a wheat seed in cold water would totally adapt it to cold climes according to modern theory. Take that Science! In your face! See what happens when you rely on Science!
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46 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:14 pm - David Says:
Thank you for that very informative historical retrospective on atrocity - I’m glad to join hand in hand with anyone to ensure nothing of any sort every happens.
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47 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:18 pm - Reggie Dixon Says:
Johnathon - still a twat I see
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48 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:21 pm - kelly Says:
Who decided Pastafarianism = Materialism? I for one do not believe in or condone the things Johnathon is attributing to materialists. Did I misunderstand the teachings of the Great Noodley One? Or did Johnathon, like most of our hate-mailers, make up his mind about our religion without bothering to learn a single thing about it?
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49 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:22 pm - BW022 Says:
>You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God.
I also consider myself more intelligent than Zeus, Annat, Kumiho, Angakuit, etc. Then again, I have proof of my evidence exist and as yet no proof that any of these exist.
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>So I guess I don’t need to tell you that materialism and Marxism/communism go hand in hand.
Except the vast majority of people in Russia were Eastern Orthadox Christians when Stalin took over and remain so today. Most Chinese are Daoist (Taoist, a polythestic religion) when the communists took over. Hitler was a Christian (or at least said he was) as was Germany in the 1930-40s. Musilini and Italy were certainly Catholic. Pakistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Serbia, Northern Ireland, etc., etc. are all examples places were you can be assistinated, your women raped, your speech cencored, your neighbors attacked, people starving to death, etc. by dictators of some sort (kings, military rule, death squads, etc.) and yet all are non-materialistic.
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Perhaps it is just easy to be an insane, murdering, fanactical dictator if you have a population of religious folks willing to let you?
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>I guess that makes the spaghettis monster a “demi-god” cuz he came from wheat and tomatoes.
And that makes any less sense than a Catholic trying to explain the trinity (and the split in the Catholic religion because of it), a Mormon about their magical underwear, or a Muslim about his flying horse?
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So Henderob… just curious, but do you believe the Muslim teachings (Mohammad going to heaven on a flying horse)? How about the Mormon teachings (Smith talking with an angle about the ancient cities in the Americas)? How about the Jews (Jesus was not the son of God)? How about the Roman Catholics (evolution is true, the bible is not the literal truth)? etc., etc.
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So far no one has been killed over the meat-ball demi-god theory. Millions upon millions have died over the trinity theory, Jews have been murdered over countless centuries for not believing in Jesus, Muslims will happily murder anyone disbelieving their theories, etc., etc. -
50 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:23 pm - muuse Says:
You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it’s evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don’t you know that you can count me out
Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right
all right, all rightYou say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We’d all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We’re doing what we can
But when you want money
for people with minds that hate
All I can tell is brother you have to wait
Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right
all right, all right
Ahah, ah, ah, ah, ah…
You say you’ll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it’s the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao
You ain’t going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right
all right, all right
all right, all right, all right
all right, all right, all rightp.s. is it me or was that pretty much the only Beatle’s song Across the Universe didn’t bastardize?
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51 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:24 pm - Ex-Captain Etay Says:
Why thank you!
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52 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:38 pm - Olafur Skorrdal Says:
I am sorry to say, but some people just don’t get the irony in all of this. I think they will have to think more about their own faith rather than what others are doing. If you don’t understand why there is a Flying Spaghetti Monster, I don’t think you even understand the bases of your own faith. It makes me sad.
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53 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:49 pm - Brit Pirate Says:
Haha! I’m looking forward to seeing what you lot make of this one….wrong on so many levels I can’t even begin to explain at this time of night.
A plea to all future hate-mailers, please don’t use sarcasm unless you know how. The trick is subtlety……..sorry forgot who I was talking to for a moment. -
54 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:49 pm - Katsu Says:
I stopped caring after “Cama Rouge”
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55 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:50 pm - TheThinkingMan Says:
“You guys are infinitely more intelligent and all-knowing than God” I’m glad one of you religiouso’s finally admitted it. And who are the Cama Rouge? You know what else I know? How to READ. Maybe you should pick up a text from this millenium.
Every attrocity you’ve named has been exceeded multiple times in the name of some god. As for soaking seeds in cold water, at least he didn’t pray over them. Just because a person can read a science book doesn’t make them a scientist.
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56 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:54 pm - john Says:
Damn! You almost had me. Right up to “night soil”.
I jest.
Of course you are correct and above reproach for your views.
Fortunately, no atrocities or brutal, inhuman acts were ever perpertrated by a christian or a christian regime.
You are correct that all evil comes from non believers.
Except for that little scripture in your sacred book.
You know the one, do you not?
Isiah 45:7 ring a bell?
Or is that one of the verses we just overlook?
Or explain away as “metaphor”?
If the passage is true then the evildoers were merely using the creation of an all loving god and you should be thankful for their obedience.
By the by: how do you reconcile the blood soaked pentatuch with your apparent squeamishness?
Oh, wait! I forgot. That was under the old covenant. The un-changing god of the universe changed his mind and made a new covenant.
Silly me.
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57 - March 10th, 2008 at 4:58 pm - just a mariner Says:
Your name is spelled wrong, Johnathon.
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58 - March 10th, 2008 at 5:02 pm - Caveat Lector Says:
Wow. I’ll tell you how smart you are then. I’m sure you know that evolution is not a Philosophy. I’m sure you know that capitolism personofies evolution in its survival of the best mentallity. I’m sure you’re aware that Communism was not founded on evolution, but instead on the idea that society should not have social classes where the wealthy dominate the poor. This idea was perverted by a few evil dictators who wanted an excuse to control their people with an iron fist. Communism does look good on paper, it just didn’t work out because of the evil people who practiced it. But since you want to take deaths into this I want you to know that EVEN IF evolution was the real reason for all this you have NO RIGHT to tell us that evolution inspires killing. Here’s why…
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I’m sure you’re aware that the bible was used to justify slavery “enslave their bodies free their minds” right.
:: It is estimated that about 20 million slaves total died just from the trip to the americas alone, but some say its as low as 12 million, as high as 40 million. The ones who made it to the americas were made christian, that DEFINITELY makes it better!
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I’m sure you’re aware that the bible and q’aran were used as justification for the constant bloodshed and tears during the crusades. This includes the needless deaths of thousands of children who were told that god would protect them as they marched to battle. Or the senseless killing of everyone in Jerusalem during the first crusade, they killed EVERYONE! Including other christians! “god wills it”! remember?
::The Crusades give your bible an additional death toll of 1.5 million.
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I’m sure you’re aware that the bible was used as justification for the violent removal and killing of almost all native americans because they weren’t people. You see the bible didn’t say there were any people in the Americas, therefore these people in America aren’t people, they’re animals! The Bible says so! Makes perfect sense.
::The LOWEST estimate BY FAR for how many natives were killed for these reasons is 8 million: please realize that this is the lowest estimate out there. Most actually say 15-60 million. The highest is 145 million including all of North and South America.
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I’m sure you’re aware of the religious persecution carried out under the good name of the bible. I’m sure you’re aware of the holocaust. No! the holocaust had nothing to do with genetics when you look at it! Who did Hitler kill? Jews, Jehovah’s Witnesses and gays. Almost all either religous denominations or groups that the bible SAYS you have to be prejudice against.
::So, you have 8 million more deaths on your good book. I already took out the soviet POW’s, Spanish POW’s and other political enemies out of FAIRNESS to you!
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The bible talks about numerous battles throughout the history it talks about.
::These deaths are totaled at 1.25 million deaths. There are many battles but if you don’t believe me visit for the details. You’ll find that they sometimes enslaved virgins, killed children, and took material from who they attacked too.
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All this was from about 20 minutes of searching. I could find more if I wanted to, but I think these few examples that at the LOWEST estimates total 30,750,000 deaths are enough to prove my point. This is from the lowest estimates from all of these, when I came up with that number I tried to be nice and go with the LOWEST estimate instead of the MOST LIKELY one or the ones that are GENERALLY AGREED ON! -
59 - March 10th, 2008 at 5:07 pm - scurvy jen Says:
wow, we’ve been called a lot of things but i think comunist baby killers is a new one. And I truly didn’t know that Stalin and Mao were proponenets of freedom of religion and free thought. Although I am confused at how you can use sarcasim but not recognize satire.
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60 - March 10th, 2008 at 5:16 pm - Jenny Says:
Dear Jonothon,
If you are going to use history to bash the almighty FSM, I think you should go back to 9th grade history.
Cama Rouge?
Try Khmer Rouge.I hope you take the time to educate yourself before you embarrass yourself again.
I like how you compare us to Communists, too.Maybe if you try hard, you will be touched by His Noodly Appendage as well.
Sincerely yours,
Jenny











