for a preschooler you have an avid imaginagtion , but thats OK many before you have chosen to BELIEVE , that the whole enschelada resulted when water hit some rock in outer space and happened to be hit by lightening …..the result was a chain reaction which brought the present mess of drugs , sex and violence to be an everyday happening .five kids in a BMV at John Travolta`s gated village in Florida tried to test this concept on Jan 26/`08 and were restored to the original rock and water ..the enery was absorbed by a large tree that got into their path and was destroyed , much to the chagrin of John !
If you find this story farfetched , it`s OK to BELIEVE in the FSM or the EVOLUTOIONARY model of your source in the scheme of mother earth ..whovever she is ! I don`t think any one will mind ! Why should anyone be upset by your amusing proposals..they are good for a laugh !
George
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Why can’t Christians spell?
Why do they all seem to be so violent?
Why do they all seem to have the intelligence of a road apple?(horse turd for those who don’t know)
This is… even more incoherent than usual. Honestly, even disregarding spelling errors it’s impossible to discern this guy’s point! … If he even had one.
This is one of the least intelligable hate-mails I have ever read.
So here it goes,
George (and all the other Christians who feel it is their moral duty to get pissed on this site),
NO, BAD CHRISTIANS, We do that outside!
Here’s the thing, I am a Christian and am in school right now getting degrees in Religion and Philosophy.
That being said this site is genius. All hail FSM (just kidding Jesus). Let it never be said of me that I am close-minded.
That does not mean that I don’t take my faith seriously, but that I’m not a robot and have a sense of humor.
What I would stress to those who adhere to the teachings of the Great and Powerful FSM, we’re not all like George and those other fools who don’t get it. I’m sure you all know this already but I felt the need to reiterate the fact.
For me, Christianity stems not only from faith, but from experience and logic.
I agree with the prophet that ID should not be taught in science class, but a philosophy class, why not? If anyone would like to discuss why it is a believe in this “fictional” God I would welcome it in love and patience. Also, read C. S. Lewis, Kierkkagaard (SP) and Bonhoeffer, as I have read Nietzche, Kant, and (laughing on the inside) Richard Dawkins.
Peace love and noodles
Amen and RAmen
yours truly,
The (not quite as delusional as some might think) Christian
PS - Don’t say anything more, please, about Dawkins. He makes things up about religion and Christianity - see the Chapter about Jesus in “The God Delusion”. No Respect.
Know what else is good for a laugh–John Hagee.
Here’s a fundamentalist televangelist who believes
–The United States must defend Israel, so when Christ returns to Earth, after the Battle of Armageddon is fought between this nation and China in the Megido Valley (hence Armageddon), God can give the Jews the option to convert to Xtainity or be wholly and entirely killed as a people and cast into hell.
–Believes that war with Iran is inevitable and the US must nuke Iran preemptively with all due haste
–Believes Hurrican Katrina was a punishment from God for its being a gay-friendly city.
–Believes in the Rapture (deathless assumption into heaven of all the righteous of the earth)
–Believes that the Catholic church is a Whore and a Cult.
When people talk about Louis Farakhan and his support for Barrach Obama, take note of the fact that Mr Obamo repudiated Mr Farrakhan-said thanks but no thanks. Contrast this with McCain who has appeared on the SAME STAGE with Reverend Fruitcake.
Also, if you’ve ever seen photos of Reverend Hagee, you will no doubt observe, he’s fat as a pit. Isn’t Gluttony also a sin. Why does he single out one sin, such as violation of Xtainity’s sexual code while himself practicing another equally deadly (at least according to his own religion) sin?
George, I think you might mean a ‘Vivid’ imagination, not an ‘avid’ imagination!
RAmen
Hey retard,
Many people here are more logical than those of faith and actually think before they make a stupid comment such as that. So I’m actually guessing, you probably are among the many uneducated Americans who follow the religious doctrine correct? Nobody actually believes in FSM, I do but I’m speaking for most of the website not all of it. And yes, you are just frustrated at our clever parody of a religion pressing it’s beliefs on others. ID isn’t science. If you want a logical explanation as to why, email me at selfe3@yahoo.com. And no, the earth was a lump of rocks that were attracted by GRAVITY to gether into a ball, the pressure and friction at the center created MAGMA which was released by volcanoes into clouds to form an atmosphere which contained hydrogen and oxygen to create water. And where ever there is water there is life, so with the materials which formed the first cell on the planet, life could take hold, although when life emerged on land it went extinct, and then had to evolve all over again out of the water from microbes. But then again, it’s much easier to make a false statement without actually learning anything first. All of the different elements in the universe, which makes up all that is around us in different compounds are formed in the sun, with it’s constant explosion, when the sun loses mass it expands and crushes back in on itself and has enough pressure to form the rest of the matter in the universe, ask any high school or middle school physics teacher, retard. So all of the things that you claim to be false all have proof. FUCK YOU
-J.T.S.
Hmm, I thought we got all of them in the great moron hunt of ‘07.
Seems a few of them slipped through. No matter the punishment for stupidity is swift and painfull.
*In a perfect world*
@ Don’t Taze Me Bro
Nice to have you here. There are too many people in this world who blindly follow their religion because it was what they happened to be taught as a child. (What could we call this - Faith by Default?) If you have deeply examined your beliefs, studied others, and chosen the faith (or lack thereof) that really makes the most sense to you, then Bravo! Please hang around. In amongst the rants there is really quite a bit of intelligent conversation here.
.
I agree that ID would be perfectly fine in a philosophy class. Also in a comparative religion class, which is generally not offered in high schools, but should be. Science class is for “how”, philosophy class is for “why”.
.
I have read C.S Lewis, and Nietzche (ugh). I just recently read the entire “Book of Enoch the Prophet”, which was a contender to be included in the bible, but ultimately wasn’t. It was, however, a work commonly known in the era of the writing of the New Testament, and the book of Jude even quotes directly from it. (It also has more detail about the giants that are briefly alluded to in Genesis, and the names of lots of angels.) It was a part of the culture at the time, so I recommend it, if you have not already read it. You can find the full text here: http://www.sacred-texts.com/bib/bep/index.htm
.
I also recommend Daniel Dennett’s “Breaking the Spell”. You may find Prof. Dennett gentler and easier to stomach than Dawkins or Hitchens.
.
RAmen
.
p.s. - if you are in the mood for a laugh, and truly have a sense of humor, then I recommend “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal”.
@don’t taze me bro:
Experience and logic? ‘Scuse me?
Unless you have had a personal interview, complete with recorded physical manifestations, with a very convincing god, I’m calling wrongo on the experience part. And the logic part holds no water either. You can’t derive a logical position based on frequently-edited incomplete scraps of text arbitrarily selected from a much greater pool of “literature” penned by poorly educated superstitious semi-primitives. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that faith is the entirety of your basis for belief, since that’s really all there is to base it on.
Unless you have those recordings….?
ET
mmm… an enschelada sounds really good right about now. it took a lot of enrgy to decipher what this kid is talking about. may the noodly appendage reach out and heal his broken mind (shame on you for taking things too seriously). RAmen.
This doesn’t make any sense.
What’s he trying to say?
On a lighter note: I stumbled upon this thread because in recent comments “hungry”’s comment showed up as “hungry–for a preschooler”
That is all.
To Brian,
Grow up! You don’t have to mock every Christian because the ignorance of one by using such remarks as, “magical sky fairy”, The moment that your mockery was generalized, was the same moment that you met the criterion of a bigot.
Further more, “our silly little book” doesn’t mention either, because the parables, songs, poems, and metaphors which make up the bible are symbolic and the verses themselves were a a cryptic means to pass on information such as current events of the time, rally support for protest, make social commentary, offer advice on healthy and hygienic living, pass on uplifting messages, and teach moral virtues during a time when free speech wasn’t an option. Not to mention the fact that they were authored in such a way as to make these messages much easier to remember since public schooling wasn’t available at that time.
It’s those reasons which show that you yourself are stalled in the same primitive mind frame as preschool peddler & the only difference is your short minded conclusions.
So stop acting like a jackass to validate yourself, because if you were what you try to cast yourself as being, then you would have no need for the epithets to get your point across.
You know what is truly sad….
That several of you who respond to these asinine emails are dependent on the hate of Fundamentalist Christians because it’s clearly the crux used in determining your own self worth.
This isn’t a statement that is targeted at the majority of FSM’ers, because for the most part everyone here has welcomed me to participate in the dicussions even though I’m a Christian and I truly appreciate those such as Neal who take the time to differentiate the ignorant hate-spewing Fundamentalists from those Christians who’s faith is based on tolerance and understanding…
Still, some of you need to look over your own messages and identify your own hypocrisy.
So…
Wut?
Why, George, it’s almost as preposterous as the concept of an invisible giant old man floating in the sky with the clouds between his knees inseminating unsuspecting Mary’s and sacrificing his only begotten son every time he feels the need to forgive us.
RAmen.
i think he’s a little perschooler or even better a !MIDGET!
Is a BMV like a car or does it stand for something more dangerous, like “Big Moon Vehicle”?
Horton hears a Who