“Billions of years ago, a big bang produced a large rock. As the rock cooled, sweet brown liquid formed on it’s surface. As time passed, aluminum formed itself into a can, a lid, and a tab. Millions of years later, red and white paint fell from the sky and formed itself into the words “Coca Cola… 12 fluid ounces.”Of course my theory is an insult to your intellect, because you know that if the Coca Cola can is made, there must be a maker. If it is designed, there must be a designer. The alternative, that it happened by chance or accident is to move from the intellectual free zone.
Here is another:
“The Banana: The Atheist Nightmare”
Note that the banana…
1. is shaped for the human hand.
2. has a non-slip surface.
3. Has outward indicators of it’s inward contents. Green - too early, yellow - just right, black - too late.
4. Has a tab for removal of it’s wrapper.
5. Is perforated on wrapper.
6. Has a bio-degradable wrapper.
7. Is shaped for the human mouth.
8. Has a point at the top for ease of entry.
9. Is pleasing to the taste buds.
10. Is curved towards the face to make the eating process easy.
To write that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to write that no one designed the Coca Cola can.
Test 1.
The person who thinks the Coca Cola can has no designer is:
A. Intelligent
B. A fool
C. Has an ulterior motive for denying the obvious
Now the document that I am referring from states that the eye has 40,000,000 nerve endings and focuses it’s muscles approximately 100,000 times a day. and that the eye has a retina that contains approximately 137,000,000 light sensitive cells.
The document continues and states that Charles Darwin stated:
“To suppose that the eye could have been formed by natural selection, seems I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree” Agreed… it does not have the reference recorded so I do not know if this statement is true or false. But let me get to the point at hand.
If man can not create the human eye then how can anyone in their right mind believe that it was created by chance? In fact… man can’t create anything from nothing… we just do not know how to do it. We can re-create, reform, develop… but we can not create one grain of sand from nothing. Yet the human eye… is a mere tiny part of the most sophisticated part of creation - the human body.
Again… another statement which I would have to research and verify if this person actually made this comment:
“George Gallup; “If I could prove God statistically; take the human body alone; the chance that all the functions of the individual would just happen, is a statistical monstrosity.”
Now this statement concerning Albert Einstein. This is confusing… why would this man contradict himself? If he stated this… then every other statement that has been quoted at this forum is invalid because the man appears to be speaking from both sides of his mouth. In this statement Einstein is quoted to have said:
“Everyone who is seriously interested in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe - a spirit vastly superior to man, and one in the face of our modest powers must feel humble.”
Test 2:
1. Do you know any building that did not have a builder? Yes? No?
2. Do you know any painting that did not have a painter? Yes? No?
3. Do you know any car that did not have a maker? Yes? No?
If you answered “Yes” to any of those statements… please give details:______________________…
Third analogy:
Could I convince you that I dropped 50 oranges onto the ground and then by chance fell into ten rows of five oranges? Logically, anyone with an intelligent mind might conclude that someone put them there. The odds that ten oranges would fall into a straight line is mind boggling. Let alone ten rows of five.
Test 3
Yes or No 1. From the atom to the universe is there order?
Yes or No 2. Did it happen by accident or must there been an intelligent mind?
3. What are the odds of 50 oranges falling by chance into ten rows of five oranges? ______________________________…
To declare that there is no God is to make an absolute statement. And for an absolute statement to be true; one must have absolute knowledge. Here is another such statement: “There is no gold in China.”
Test 4 What would I need to have for that statement to be true?
A. No knowledge of China?
B. Partial knowledge of China?
C. Absolute knowledge of China?
“C” is the correct answer. In order for the statement to be true, I must know that there is no gold in China.
Likewise; to state that there is no God and to be correct then you are stating that you are omniscient. You must have absolutely certain knowledge that there isn’t one.
Let’s say that a circle contains all the knowledge of the universe. And let’s say that you have an incredible understanding of one percent of all that knowledge. Is it possible that the knowledge you haven’t yet come across, that there might be ample evidence to prove that God does indeed exist?
If you are reasonable, you would have to admit, “Having the limited knowledge I have at present, I believe that there is no God.” In other words, you don’t know if God exists, so you are not an atheist. You are an “agnostic.” You are like a person that looks at a building and doesn’t seem to know if there is a builder.
Test 5 The man who sees a building and doesn’t know if there is a builder is:
A. Intelligent
B. A fool
C. Has an ulterior motive
In summary: There are plenty of things that we have faith in that we do not fully understand. Most of us do not have a complete understanding that when you turned your computer on as to why it worked. You took a step of faith that turning it on… that somehow that it would work. You accept the unseen electrical waves that appear right in front of your eyes when you type your comments here. We do not see the reason for why the messages appear… because the powers that be are invisible to the naked eye. For them to be manifest, we need a monitor… so we can enjoy the experience of this forum.
God is not flesh and blood; He is an eternal Spirit. Immortal and invisible… like the computer waves. He can can not be experienced unless the monitor is turned on. One should approach the Bible in the same way as the monitor. If it works, enjoy it and if it doesn’t, forget it.
Or do you have an ulterior motive? Could it be that the “atheist” can’t find God… as a thief can’t find the policeman? Could it be that your logic is clouding your good judgment?”
-Jonathon
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Ho hum.
The trouble is, Jonathon, that you miss the epic scale of the universe. If you were to drop an almost infinite number of oranges a practically infinite number of times, 50 of them would line up in nice neat rows. The rest would be all messed up and not in any particular order, a bit like all the bits of space that aren’t pretty planets and stars.
Secondly, it is not an act of faith that leads me to believe that my laptop works. It is an expectation based on repeatable, testable empirical evidence which I have seen with my own eyes. And anyway, I do know how it works.
Lastly, I hate bananas. I assume this means that your God has gone to great lengths to design a fruit, then gone to great lengths to design me in such a way that I can’t eat them. Why does your God hate me, Jonathon? Why? What have I done?
This is a parody. No one could be so stupid as to believe this nonsense.
However, I often have nightmares involving bananas. Arrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!
Jonathon,
Plagarism is not nice — be sure to cite your source material in the future. Also, you seem strangely fixated on banannas. You contend that they are designed for human consumption, yet my dog likes them. Is this a design flaw in the bananna or my dog? Or is is possible the his Holy Noodliness wanted my dog to like them? I think the latter is most possible.
You tried to prove God — all you proved is the Lordship of the Noodly Master! Prove otherwise . . .
The bananas that we eat today were specifically bred by humans to be a size that we like. Natural bananas are much smaller. This is a bit like Douglas Adams’ analogy of a puddle thinking that the hole it’s in was perfectly designed to contain the puddle.
The fact that a banana fits perfectly in our hand says a lot more about the evolution of hands than it does about bananas. The human hand is very versatile, able to change shape enough to hold a tiny pebble or a large basketball. Lots of the things we don’t eat also fit in our hands.
The tip of a banana (claimed to be analogous to a tab on a soda can) is actually the strongest part of a banana - not the ideal place to peel it.
More animals eat bananas (especially naturally occurring bananas) than just humans. Perhaps God created bananas for monkeys and humans just knew a good thing when they saw it.
We eat all kinds of food. The coconut is also enjoyed by humans as food yet, apart from having a non-slip surface (like almost all objects) and being pleasant to eat (like most food), it holds none of the other properties of the banana. A cow, which some might say is far more delicious than a banana, is fairly difficult to hold in the hand when in its natural form. Like many other foods, cows also require some very particular preparation before eating; otherwise some nasty diseases can result. The diseases come from bacteria that theists would also say were created by God.
Speaking of bacteria, the number of objects in the universe that are inedible and even dangerous to humans far outweighs the number of objects that are tasty.
Far from being proof that the entire world is custom made for our pleasure, this seems to be a case of cherry picking certain features to find one good example. Given the ranges of variation in fruits and vegetables, the enormous number of significantly different possible combinations of attributes, and the fact that humans evolved to be able to eat naturally-occurring foods, it would be extremely improbable that no fruit or vegetable would seem (to some, at least) to be especially well-suited to human consumption.
According to the same logic used by the banana argument, the pineapple would disprove God’s existence.
Even if the argument proved that bananas were designed, it would not prove that there is only one designer; maybe millions of banana-designers participated. There is nothing in the nature of bananas to point to a singular banana-designer.
Even if the argument proved that there once was a banana-designer, it wouldn’t prove that the banana-designer still exists.
Even if the argument proved the existence of a banana-designer, it wouldn’t prove that the banana-designer is supernatural.
Even if the argument proved the existence of a supernatural banana-designer, it wouldn’t prove the existence of an eternal, omnipotent, omniscient banana-designer who also created the universe (i.e., God). There is nothing about bananas to indicate that only God could design one.
The argument provides no good reasons to suppose that a naturalistic, non-design explanation for bananas is even improbable, let alone impossible
i have an argument for you!
in the bible it says that god made man and woman ( not siblings) they had children ( 2 boys ) and some girls now….here’s where it gets weird they would have to commit inscest to have children now….in this day and age if you have children with your sister (or brother ) a baby will come out that isn’t quite right soooo….does that mean we are the mutated offspring of the perfectly created children of god. also in the bible go gets angry at the serpent and he says ” you will be cursed to crawl on your belly” now those words bring forth a thought to any rational person ” as you claim to be” does that mean the snake didn’t always crawl on his belly? now if you agree with these then you have to accept the concept of evolution. we could have evolved so we could eat banana’s easier instead of saying that banana’s were made for us which is as far as im concerned is pretty much thinking the human race is top shit in the universe. ALSO with such a vast universe and over 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 stars out there and looking at our solar system we could assume that since we have 9 planets we would take the calculation 9×10*104= im to lazy to do the math so ill let someone with your vastly superior intellect figure it out; shouldn’t that mean that at least AT LEAST 1 other planet has life for just the right conditions as we have on earth ” assuming that what we consider everything on earth as essential to survival” that would still give us at least 1 planet out there with life on it whether it be microscopic or leviathan like creatures (sentient or otherwise) what will christianity do if it finds this out? the bible doesn’t mention ANYTHING not created on earth.
so here’s my annoying as hell test
If we did find a planet with life “sentient” christians would say
1). That such creatures didn’t exist
2). They would claim such creatures were spawns of the devil
or 3). would finnally point out that mabey the bible wasn’t always right
well choice 3 will never be chosen ( christians are incredebly thick) so it would either be 1 or 2
the problem with comparing God to “computer waves” is A) I think you mean radio waves and B) Science & Technology has PROVEN THE EXISTENCE OF RADIO WAVES!!! That’s why you’re computer freaking works when you turn it on, not because of some Divine Intervention…and I have to say an intervention is really what’s needed by those who consider themselves Truly Devout…(truly blind is a better fit)
Julie- RAmen, sister, RAmen!! More than half the foods we eat today have been genetically altered. How is that God’s will??? The USDA even recently ruled that meat suppliers can use cloned and genetically enhanced “product” or COWS, and not have to disclose the information. Sick shit, so know where your food comes from and BUY LOCAL!!!
The only problems with this arguement-
1. You have no idea what you’re talking about.
2. There is gold in China.
3. Some people are allergic to bananas.
What the hell? A banana, humm, yeah. A BANANA proves that God exists? That’s pathetic. Christians have no other choices in front of FSM but to talk about BANANAS
…….and you say Atheists got it all wrong. Sorry, this is so stupid that I can’t believe someone can even be such a moron. But thanks, my friend and I had a great time reading this!
…sounds to me that you are really struggling with reality… I know how it is, I used to be a religous type… then one day I dropped it. I decided that there was no way that religion held the answer… it in fact answered nothing… but hypothesis can answer questions. Believing in ID is the easy way out… not having to think for yourself is the easy way out…
Dude, Jonathan, if I may or you know what i prefer Mr. Jackass what is your deal bro wtf did we ever you to you? Why do you find it necessary to come here on our site, put up for worship and what not, seriously What the hell did we do to you? You know what you lonely man you should probably find a life try to find a woman that is not your mother and just get off your soapbox.
RAmen,
J.J
Hello handerob.
You’re right.
There is one builder for everything.
This is me.
Pleased to meet you.
Just one question: i never wrote such a thing like “bible”. The last time i wrote something
it was “Anal Whores III”. Maybe you misspell the telephone number?
GOD.
oh my giddy gosh! all you people think stupidly! uhhhhh.
1) bananna’s are good but not to everyone. plus some people are algetic.
2) who the fuck would know if there were gold in china? the earth is allways changing, even if its changing at a slow rate.
3) lol RAIDO waves… lol… companies make them.
4) some of you people think on a way humongo scale!!!!!! no i dont think on a small scale. i think on a ‘milkyway’ or earth scale.
5)thats right BUY LOCAL!!!
6) true everything has a builder… but who or what is it? who is to know its god or the flying spaghetti monster? tell me… Who?
7) how are we suposed to answer the quiestions??? how? and FYI some of them dnt make sence.
and lastly… its not nice to call BAD names. so watch out.
ps. a wicken is a name for good witches. :D
Uhhh… no one said that the banana was an accident…
Bananas were designed to be eaten, but not by God - by plants. Bananas and all other fruits evolved (bet you hate that word) to get animals to spread seeds. Bananas are made for anything that can grab it and eat it.
Besides, I’d say that bananas are made more for monkeys, not for humans.
……….
And where did you pick up that thing about Coke? Coke was proven to obviously be made by humans, while there is no evidence that a god created the Earth (and don’t you say “the Bible says”).
……….
As for the Retina thing, if you have no proof why did you include it in your argument?
……….
And the “gold in China thing”: you need absolute knowledge of the universe to prove that God exists. How does you saying that the universe was created by a fantastic being not suggest omnipotence? And are you… denying the EXISTENCE of atheists? Because, as far as I know, I exist somewhat.
……….
In general, are you saying that life is so unlikely that the only possible it could have formed is by God creating it? That takes a vast leap of faith that cannot be proven. The universe has been around for billions of billions of years (at least, as far as the FSM will let us know). Through that vast amount of time, you’d think that life would eventually develop.
As for your concluding argument, (ie. it takes a leap of faith to expect your computer to turn on…), computers were proven to be designed by humans. Besides which, my computer breaks down half of the time, so you are not fulling fully considering you statement. :P
Hey, what’s wrong with genetically enhanced food. It allows for the cows to be more versatile, and provide more meat per cow, meaning less C02, less $ and a chance to feed people in the third world. And there are no side effects, the testing that goes through before that process is implemented is ridiculous. Anyway, here is how you are wrong about the banana. (from my earlier post):
Also the banana has evolved to be eaten, because it’s seeds spread through your feces which makes excellent fertilizer. So the banana that has evolved to be sweet, tasty, easy to eat, and all that other shit, will be eaten, it’s seed will spread and the favorable mutation will prosper. Radio waves, we make them! Sooo, we create electronic sound signals or frequencies which can be picked up by a radio.
You are horrendously wrong,
-J.T.S.
Zach, about early man (Adam and Eve):
It’s entirely possible that, since they were so close to creation, Adam and Eve’s children were so close to being genetically perfect that there may not have been any physical symptoms of incestual relations apparent in Seth’s children. Also, by this point Adam and Eve have already sinned, and God has not specifically forbidden his people from commiting incest at this stage.
Another interpretation comes from the trend later on to refer to an entire tribe of people by the name of its leader - the ‘tribe of Judah’ was sometimes simply called ‘Judah’, the tribe of Israel was referred to as Israel, so on and so forth. Thus, Genesis 1 may be read as meaning that God created the *tribe* of Adam, and afterwards created the *tribe* of Eve.
Personally, I am offended that you all see fit to be obnoxious, vulgar and downright incoherent in your arguments, when most Christians never attempt to bully you into following our belief. Admittedly some do, mostly in America (sorry for the stereotype, but it generally is), but should we in return judge all atheists because of the actions of a few?
In relation to the question of life on other planets, the Bible does not specifically mention anything either way. I have faith that we are the only life in existence; however, if there were I would see no need to make a dramatic reaction one way or another. If it exists, and God is the creator, then He must have made the aliens. His reasons for doing so would be beyond me, and indeed it wouldn’t much bother me. Israel were God’s chosen people, and at Calvary upon the cross Christ fulfilled his mission as Messiah, bringing God’s favour to all of His creation. Undoubtedly these aliens would not have heard of Christ yet, and so would not be believers; perhaps once we learned to communicate we might convert some, perhaps not. Ultimately though their existence doesn’t affect a thing.
don’t know if this helps but if you drop the oranges into a 10 oranges long by 5 wide box and shake they line up quite well… esp if they are aproximatly the same size…. or you have the new genetically “inhanced” cubic variety…
the exact same bannana arguement could prove evolution…. dumbass
your banana analogy makes me laugh there are plenty of things that dont have this fantastical design for ease of use.
on the topic, what else does a banana roughly look like?
maybe a dick, for fucks sake
*gasp*
ive heard the term orgasm described as “the meaning of life”
its a naturally occuring thing, so why do you christians hate the fact that people
exploit it?
give us a fucking break. im pretty sure jesus did not rise from the dead, his mother was not a virgin and least of all she was not im pregnated by a ficticious spirit.
Mary, if anything was a dirty slut who needed an excuse for sleeping with the donkey farmer. fool proof.
“You took a step of faith that turning it on”
??
yes, in BILL GATES. not fucking jesus who didnt even have a fucking light bulb you fuck.
hate to bring this little fact to light but hey,
CHRISTIANITY IS NOT WORKING!
as the 6 million jews who died under hitler. ask the homosexuals who cant have the same rights as striaght couples becasue bush is a fucking jesus lover.
and anyways, in the extremely unlikely event that god does exist, hes a fucking prude and hell would be more fun anyway.
im no where near finished but i cant be fucked typing
(gods making my fingers cramp up in hopes of stopping this blasphemous rant!)
*rolls eyes*