“Billions of years ago, a big bang produced a large rock. As the rock cooled, sweet brown liquid formed on it’s surface. As time passed, aluminum formed itself into a can, a lid, and a tab. Millions of years later, red and white paint fell from the sky and formed itself into the words “Coca Cola… 12 fluid ounces.”Of course my theory is an insult to your intellect, because you know that if the Coca Cola can is made, there must be a maker. If it is designed, there must be a designer. The alternative, that it happened by chance or accident is to move from the intellectual free zone.
Here is another:
“The Banana: The Atheist Nightmare”
Note that the banana…
1. is shaped for the human hand.
2. has a non-slip surface.
3. Has outward indicators of it’s inward contents. Green - too early, yellow - just right, black - too late.
4. Has a tab for removal of it’s wrapper.
5. Is perforated on wrapper.
6. Has a bio-degradable wrapper.
7. Is shaped for the human mouth.
8. Has a point at the top for ease of entry.
9. Is pleasing to the taste buds.
10. Is curved towards the face to make the eating process easy.
To write that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to write that no one designed the Coca Cola can.
Test 1.
The person who thinks the Coca Cola can has no designer is:
A. Intelligent
B. A fool
C. Has an ulterior motive for denying the obvious
Now the document that I am referring from states that the eye has 40,000,000 nerve endings and focuses it’s muscles approximately 100,000 times a day. and that the eye has a retina that contains approximately 137,000,000 light sensitive cells.
The document continues and states that Charles Darwin stated:
“To suppose that the eye could have been formed by natural selection, seems I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree” Agreed… it does not have the reference recorded so I do not know if this statement is true or false. But let me get to the point at hand.
If man can not create the human eye then how can anyone in their right mind believe that it was created by chance? In fact… man can’t create anything from nothing… we just do not know how to do it. We can re-create, reform, develop… but we can not create one grain of sand from nothing. Yet the human eye… is a mere tiny part of the most sophisticated part of creation - the human body.
Again… another statement which I would have to research and verify if this person actually made this comment:
“George Gallup; “If I could prove God statistically; take the human body alone; the chance that all the functions of the individual would just happen, is a statistical monstrosity.”
Now this statement concerning Albert Einstein. This is confusing… why would this man contradict himself? If he stated this… then every other statement that has been quoted at this forum is invalid because the man appears to be speaking from both sides of his mouth. In this statement Einstein is quoted to have said:
“Everyone who is seriously interested in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe - a spirit vastly superior to man, and one in the face of our modest powers must feel humble.”
Test 2:
1. Do you know any building that did not have a builder? Yes? No?
2. Do you know any painting that did not have a painter? Yes? No?
3. Do you know any car that did not have a maker? Yes? No?
If you answered “Yes” to any of those statements… please give details:______________________…
Third analogy:
Could I convince you that I dropped 50 oranges onto the ground and then by chance fell into ten rows of five oranges? Logically, anyone with an intelligent mind might conclude that someone put them there. The odds that ten oranges would fall into a straight line is mind boggling. Let alone ten rows of five.
Test 3
Yes or No 1. From the atom to the universe is there order?
Yes or No 2. Did it happen by accident or must there been an intelligent mind?
3. What are the odds of 50 oranges falling by chance into ten rows of five oranges? ______________________________…
To declare that there is no God is to make an absolute statement. And for an absolute statement to be true; one must have absolute knowledge. Here is another such statement: “There is no gold in China.”
Test 4 What would I need to have for that statement to be true?
A. No knowledge of China?
B. Partial knowledge of China?
C. Absolute knowledge of China?
“C” is the correct answer. In order for the statement to be true, I must know that there is no gold in China.
Likewise; to state that there is no God and to be correct then you are stating that you are omniscient. You must have absolutely certain knowledge that there isn’t one.
Let’s say that a circle contains all the knowledge of the universe. And let’s say that you have an incredible understanding of one percent of all that knowledge. Is it possible that the knowledge you haven’t yet come across, that there might be ample evidence to prove that God does indeed exist?
If you are reasonable, you would have to admit, “Having the limited knowledge I have at present, I believe that there is no God.” In other words, you don’t know if God exists, so you are not an atheist. You are an “agnostic.” You are like a person that looks at a building and doesn’t seem to know if there is a builder.
Test 5 The man who sees a building and doesn’t know if there is a builder is:
A. Intelligent
B. A fool
C. Has an ulterior motive
In summary: There are plenty of things that we have faith in that we do not fully understand. Most of us do not have a complete understanding that when you turned your computer on as to why it worked. You took a step of faith that turning it on… that somehow that it would work. You accept the unseen electrical waves that appear right in front of your eyes when you type your comments here. We do not see the reason for why the messages appear… because the powers that be are invisible to the naked eye. For them to be manifest, we need a monitor… so we can enjoy the experience of this forum.
God is not flesh and blood; He is an eternal Spirit. Immortal and invisible… like the computer waves. He can can not be experienced unless the monitor is turned on. One should approach the Bible in the same way as the monitor. If it works, enjoy it and if it doesn’t, forget it.
Or do you have an ulterior motive? Could it be that the “atheist” can’t find God… as a thief can’t find the policeman? Could it be that your logic is clouding your good judgment?”
-Jonathon
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
If you think there is order to the universe you should read Max Planck.
These arguments are ridiculous, many of them are based on common assumptions about evolutionary theory that are untrue. The author of this e-mail needs to do his homework.
Also, grammatical errors tend to take away your “smart points”.
if you did any reasearch, you would know that the banana has evolved over many years, and in the very early days, it did not have a tab, nor a perforated wrapper, nor a colored indicator, nor was curved for eating pleasure, nor was pleasant to the taste buds
see what happends when we don’t understand evolution?
Correct. Statistically speaking, it is nigh impossible for oranges to fall into perfect rows, or evolution to happen. However, this is over a few hours, maybe days (for oranges) and thousands of years (if you are a believer in the “*poof* we’re all here theory”) or billions if you like to base your decisions on observable evidence. Now, given enough time, the statistics of everything become very likely, and for life to evolve all that is needed is a solvent (water seems to be the only one that supports life) and a way to build structures, along with a tolerable temperature range. By chance, large organic molecules formed. Those more likely to survive the harsh environment of early earth did. One form of a molecule had a reaction with another, allowing it to replicate itself. These joined together into structures, as those that didn’t ended up being destroyed. Eventually, the first cells formed, and those who could survive their enviroment passed on their traits to their offspring. Voila- Evolution.
It basically comes down to you looking for examples that match what you believe- not science.
More so, we do believe that a god created us all, silly! You’re just annoyed its not yours.
I would be adding more, such as Test Tube Evolution (look it up on SciAm), but I must be going.
Maybe some other time.
Until then,
RAmen!
I love how he tells us this idiotic nonsence like he’s immensly more intelligent than us. Dear Jonathon, almost everyone here has heard that same arguement before and you are not smarter than us. Don’t talk down to us, we can easily understand what you’re trying to say.
Well, the last part made me chuckle. Logic clouding judgment, eh? What way do you suggest we come to conclusions? You have suggested picking and choosing facts that support your hypothesis (not science, by the way) and do exactly what the old bald guy who molests children standing in front of a giant stained glass window says. I prefer logic. It, well, makes sense.
The funniest part had to be how you try to act extremely intelligent, yet not only do you show a gross misunderstanding of the theories you try to disprove, but you used a banana as proof of intelligent design. Almost any natural object can bee looked at as being made for human use. Take the cucumber- perfect dildo. And don’t get me started about what you can do with apples ;)
Also, please don’t be condescending. We may think differently than you do, but that doesn’t make us idiots.
Love, peace, pirates and complex carbohydrates to all!
RAmen
Dude… get life,
or a girlfriend,
or a boyfriend,
or a heaping plate of spagetti
I can’t believe they bothered to write all that! I couldn’t be bothered to read past the bit about bananas myself. For a psychology student this website is excellent for trying to understand peoples beliefs. But I have to believe for myself that there is a lack of intelligence associated with people who can’t understand science. I had the Christian religion ground into my head as a child, I was born into a religious family, yet I managed to figure out that having a god was an invention of men.
Note that, when they are dropped, oranges fall onto random points. Now each point that they would fall into to create a series of rows like you described are possible points. Therefore, it is POSSIBLE for it to happen, but not probable. Hence, dropping it one time or just a few times will most likely not result in them falling into rows.
Now let’s just say that it’s, oh, about 100 million to one that those oranges would fall into that specific pattern. Then let’s drop those oranges 300 million times. Statistically, they SHOULD form rows three times.
Evolution’s like that, except that that there are even MORE chances for life to evolve.
In fact, looking at the vast, insanely huge multitudes of objects in space that COULD possibly support life (Which is almost everything but stars, since it’s a bit foolish to think that ALL life would have to share the same biological functions with earth life, i.e. water based ones), it’s actually a statistical likelihood that life WOULD evolve, and indeed that it WOULD evolve multiple times in multiple locations.
As for banana’s, if that’s the case, why isn’t EVERY fruit designed perfectly for human beings to eat? Like, say, pineapples. A bit POINTY for my taste.
you are saying that a dick was created for the mouth mr. bannan man. i gess you have orange balls to
orangy balls
what do you call nuts(in your case oranges) on a chin.
dick(in your case banana)in mouth
My brothers, be wary of the banana, for it will stray you from your faith!
Seriously though, not only do you have a humorously limited grasp of both evolution and the Big Bang, you cannot seem to think of the universe outside of human terms like ‘design’. It was not designed, it simply is. Your comparison of the universe to a can of Coca Cola is ridiculous. You assume that everything that is made, needs a maker. And then you make the gian, unessecary assumption that everything has to have been made. Your mind apparently cannot think out of the borders you have put around it, for that I pity you, and hope you may someday attain some insight into reality.
RAmen.
You missed another perfection of the Banana: it’s just the right shape for inserting into homo butts!
When you begin to resort to vulgar, out-house language it is a clear indication that you are losing “faith” in your argument. You should try to avoid such, in respect for civilized browsers who happen by.
I like it when idiots waste their time. This guy spent a long time writing that…
We take your point mate… But we haven’t considered it… We just laughed at it.
OI !!! JONATHON !!! you have just made yourself look a complete fool.
Quote: “The Banana: The Atheist’s Nightmare”
I HAVE NEVER SEEN A RELIGIOUS PERSON PUT FORWARD SUCH A RIDICULOUS ARGUMENT.
LET ALONE ONE AT ALL.
“To say that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to write that no one designed the Coca Cola can.”
I almost shat myself with laughter.
This guy claims to have a good scientific understanding. If true.
WHAT AN IGNORANT PRICK!
If the FSM cared to, Noodly Goodness would fill your stomach and warm your heart. Find it in your cold soul to love your fellow man, show forgiveness that you preach, not the hatred of the people you attempt to denegrate.
BTW Pontius Pirate - People like Jonathon do not need Bananas for rectal enjoyment, that’s what they have priests for.
Pirates on Earth RAmen
Test 2:
1. Yes
2. idk
3. techinically
Explain: Buildings are called buildings because someone made them. but there are structures without builders….. for example….. caves…… and if you’re seeking something more elaborate, theres a nice little town in Virginia called “Natural Bridge, VA” it has a bridge of stone made by NOONE! and if you didn’t know that mr. whiny brat you’re either
Test No.42:
A. A whiny brat because you’re afraid of us
B. a moron
C. A closed minded individual
D. All of the above
Huff. As i have before said that i could crush such arguments i may as well attempt such a feat, but for some reason you seem to have gone on for hours about the same argument.
you said:
Test 2:
1. Do you know any building that did not have a builder? Yes? No?
2. Do you know any painting that did not have a painter? Yes? No?
3. Do you know any car that did not have a maker? Yes? No?
If you answered “Yes” to any of those statements… please give details:____The universe____
My answer is simple. do you have any knowledge of anything existing outside the universe as an omnipotent omniscient and most importantly transcendant god must do? let alone an intelligence. what possible system could this intelligence run on? your suggesting there is some sort of transcendant binary code? i will remind you that there is no intelligence known that does not work on such a system.
Secondly you cannot form an analogy of something from that that is contained within it, as a whole its makeup is entirely different to what makes it up. it is like saying that because a frog in a pond was born from its mother so too must the pond be born from its mother - this does not work. there are better examples but its a while since i looked at them.
Just to put the final nail in the coffin - What honestly seems more likely - 1. a universe came into being under its own means and mechanisms unknown to modern day man and as a result humans that had eyes with 40 000 000 nerve endings. Or 2. A Omnipotent omniscient yadayadayada (infinitely more complex than my eye or computer) god came into being which as it was omnipotent had the power to create a universe which it was transcendant from, and also produce us with 40 000 000 nerve endings in our eyes.
im sorry but ockams razor says 1 so there i win woo woo woo *victory dance*
God is an ass. Got anything to disprove that?
Nicely written… still wrong.