“You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around.”
.
Judging from your insane ramblings, I’d say you’ve had quite enough already.

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Wow.

I am honestly done for this evening. I don’t think that it is possible to find much more in the way of idiotic statements online tonight (I’ll probably see something 10 mins from now that takes the cake then).

RAmen.

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Yo Barack wassup?! ;-)

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This one seems to be just vying for a top score on the Fuck Wit meter.
….either that or an extremely painful case of HDD! (Humour Deficit Disorder)

However it does seem have a hint of a genuine tone of desperate screaming delusional insanity to it though.
.
jade-jewel really need to get the number of a good proctologist who specialises in head extractions.

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You have opened my eyes with your loving message of peace and tolerance. Praise be and pass the parmesan.

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Oh and….
“i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
Would that be before or after those starving people had aquired AIDS as a direct result of fundi xtian missionaries preaching “Abstinence Only coz condoms don’t help prevent the spread of the HIV virus”?

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We all know where we are going when we die. However, if we are wrong, and your heaven turns out to be real and full of loving, forgiving souls like yours, Hell seems like the better option anyway.

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“this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god!”
.
Says you! So prove it!

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I think you meant to place a comma between COCK and BITCH at the end there.

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are we really that scary that we can cause that kind of reaction?

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So… what? Born again?
.
Yeah… gotta be. Next time try to spell Spaghetti right and click the about button before you go on a crusade. Alright? Thanks.

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Fake

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Are you a christian, nazi or both? Anyway; language, grammatic and expression are typical christian style. My advise to you is find a good hospital specialised for religious mental illnesses and eat a lot of spaghetti.

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until this guy can prove the inexistance of our lord with proof rather than dimwitted physical threats, im not changing my belief

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Chop me up for being… FIRST!

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This learned gentelman makes me glad the the Christians are the “tolerant, loving, non-judgmental, and forgiving” religion that they are…and the great sense of humor and ability to read beyond what others tell him is astounding…I am also in awe of his resounding logic as far as my belief in the FSM goes, he has made me question all my religious…NAY!!! All of my world views………….

righhhhttttttt

RAmen

BZwM

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Fellow pastafarians, let us pray to the FSM to grant this moron a brain. And a rudimentary spell-check program. Or, at the very least, to snap off all his fingers and so save the internet from his stupidity.
RAmen

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Welcome to the site.

Thanks for telling us about your religion, it certainly sounds interesting. I hope you can learn a little about ours.

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whatever

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Our deity totally looks like a spaghetti monster. D:

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Wow. You’ve really shown us the love, compassion, tolerance, and forgiveness that you get from worshipping Jesus & God that I’ve heard so much about.
.
You’ve finally convinced me jade-jewel (rather girly-sounding name for someone who claims to have a big black presidential cock). You’ve convinced me that I’ve travelled the wrong path thus far, and now I must make a change. I want to accept Jesus into my life as my saviour, and God as my creator. Now I know my calling in life. Now I must become a foul-mouthed, egotistical, abusive, agressive, violent, caps-lock obsessive wanker. For it obviously pleaseth the lord.
.
On the other hand – nahh! I think I’ll stay here. The people here seem much less hateful.
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Dignity

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at least, a really entertaining post. Those moderate are not so funny. thanks jade! Pasta be with You!

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“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
yeah! that’s a good purpose; I’m sure He will understand. In the meanwhile, why don’t you use christian’s church money to feed them?
“you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell!”
Hell is not so bad, warm beer is better than no beer.
Why are you so angry? Of course, when the FSM touched everybody with His noodly appendages to give them the intteligence, He forget you. He was drunk, I hope you can forgive him
“IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!” Jesus talks to you?I’m sorry, but hearing voices in your head implies demency…
“I’m gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!!” We are ten million -hehe- that’s not possible at all
–
“and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” ”
Ok, were IS youR God when the christians dies in any war? Is he gonna save them? NOO! Because he IS not real! – well, I’m not denying here his existence, only your argument
–
“AND yes i do believe in hell!” – me too, ecs, warm beer and VD
“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
He’s not an idol, is a god. And no, He can forgive you for not believing in Him, the FSM is not so insecure, provided that you are a good guy. Although, by your hate I can’t imagine you as a good guy. Maybe is warm beer for you
–
“JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”
It’s called irony. Why fundies doesn’t know about that?
–
“SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
That’s more information than I need from you. You think your maleness is menaced? Talk to a freudian psycologist.
–
May His noodly appendages touch you

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seriously people when you laugh you do not scream
also you seem to be rather vulgar I thought jesus did not like that

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Firstly:
“IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! ”
Then you are obviously not one of the blessed!!!

Secondly:
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!!”
Have you ever considered the fact that the joke may be on you?

Thirdly:
“and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now?”
Duh!! Everywhere!!!

Fourthly:
“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”

No but…

“JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”
Using your lords name in vain may well get you there!!!

I pity you and hope you find peace in yourself soon. Have you ever thought of seeing a psychiatrist? You are obviously feeling a lot of anger. Either that or maybe you could turn to the FSM. The FSM can help you find the peace you seek!

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“THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”

Rationale only applies to our god…

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wow, some people really don’t get satire.

Still, it’s good to see he follows christ, i’m sure he says something similar :

“i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!…i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves…SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”

nice guy.

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Your powers of sweaing, grammar and spelling truly touch my heart, I shall follow god. I counted 20 swears.

HOLY SHIT!!!! Does ANYONE read the open letter anymore? IT’S A SATIRE!!!! You’d be very hard pressed to find anyone who really believes in the FSM. And then he says he Barack Obama, wow….

Apparently just the oddest people find our site ^_^And then they say they’re Christians. Apparently parody religions are one of their buttons.

LASTLY we aren’t a cult, we’re a full blown religion. We have millions of followers!

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couple of points @jade-jewel
“If he[FSM] were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
.
so you don’t help poor people because our god doesn’t exist? Then you must agree with that the world is better with a flying spaghetti monster
.
“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
.
name one thing that is more realistic than pasta!
.
“Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid!”
.
I take that bet, now give me my money(don’t bet on facts, it’s stupid)
.
“That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
.
then I assume you are one of the blessed few who actually seen his noodlyness, scince you have such knowledge of his appearence

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Suck your what?

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When did they let you out?

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And yet you still eat jesus in your communion.

But thank you for demonstrating the intolerance of Xianity once again.

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For a non believer you seem to have a lot of insecurities on the subject. You’re not Noah back for more are you? AAARRRRRR!

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Wow! I sure am glad your Jesus teaches you to be peaceful and loving.

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“You’re a true vulgarian, aren’t you?” — John Cleese

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Well, I certainly feel enlightened.
I couldn’t dream up a more convincing piece of evidence that there are serious problems with xianity. This sick individual will probably never check the responses to his/her twisted raving, because he/she is too busy pulling the wings off flies and terrorizing helpless children.
But just in case you do check back, could you please tell me where in the bible it tells you to scream and swear and insult your percieved enemies? I must have missed that part.

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Fuck man, calm the fuck down! I’m afraid I’m out of pot, or I would give you some. Shit. Lemme break it down for you:

First off, you would be hard up to find a pastafarian that does not enjoy fine pasta goods. You wouldn’t have to force feed us spaghetti, because most of us would eat it as soon as we saw it anyway.

It’s Spaghetti! Not SPEGHETTI. Monster, not Monsterrr. You have no idea how much you offend us by misspelling our deity’s name. What if I said “FUCK JEIZUS, JEESUS IS TOTALLY GAY!”?

Your god is not Jesus Christ by the way. God is your god. This “Jesus” is your messiah, if you’re going to insult us, make sure you at least no enough about your own religion

Christianity is the least unique religion of all. Your god is modeled after Zeus, your Halos are actually egyptian sun circles, your messiah is depicted in the same way as Buddha.

Does it matter what form your creator takes, as long as you agree that there is a creator? So what if we choose to believe he takes the form of Spaghetti? Any god that I would want to worship wouldn’t care what form we chose to believe he takes, just as long as I worship him.

What the FUCK is a Shrum? Where can I buy this…shrum?

You need to read more about our beliefs…there ya go…resemble anything?….maybe…EVERY OTHER RELIGION ON EARTH?

HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE GREAT HENDEROB?

One last thing…you realize most of us don’t actually believe in the FSM don’t you? Actually, it’s more 50/50. (I’m pretty much split in the middle)

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lol angry Christians.

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The author of this rant is a perfect example of the validity of birth control.————–is are children lerning??????

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Birth control ????????? YES!!!!!!— is are childrin lernin?????????

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Such a compelling and well-reasoned argument. I am wavering in my noodly beliefs. :(

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I have edited your rant I thought you might want to look at it this way.

YOU DUMB BITCH!!! there is no such thing as a fucking Jesus and he’s not god ! If he were real I would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking the beer volcano! FUCKING SPAGETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY RELIGION DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT SPAGETTI! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this Jesus guy? A piece of bread and a fish? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick I wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “where’s your Jesus bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” Do you guys like revolve around myths or something? Who’s the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in the beer volcano! But im not gonna go to the beer volcano for believing in a false idol like you stupid believers! FSM I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT? Ramen!
green plate.

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I’m sorry you feel this way, but is it so hard to believe that something made out of Wheat (one of the necessities of life) is divine? I find it easier to believe than most of the Hindu gods. Also… the FSM doesn’t have disciples… only Jesus had those and we are not a copycat religion. You spelt shrooms wrong and I think that you need to re-evaluate your priorities before you do any of the stuff you mentioned.

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errrrrr no comment

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Speaks for itself really.

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well, that is a most convincing argument…

..but he does exist!

gold!

p.s. obey your noodly master!

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A noodly appendage is definitely not what this guy is touched by.

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“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!””

same could go for you….i could tie you down, and start shoving a bible down your throat….my guess is your god would not do anything because he is not real eitehr

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I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!”

i could do the same to you, and start shoving bibles down your throat and all that would happen would be you would choke to death on a big fictional novel. no “god” would save you

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“IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Even though the last line of the rant is a demographic-revealing standout of comic genius, I think this one is the author’s obliviously delivered pinnacle of irony. For real or not – I suspect not; too much thought gone into being as bad as possible, nearly competent sentences here and there – it’s a pretty good one.

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Erm. . .

You kinda went from mad to batshit fucking crazy.

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Force feeding us spaghetti, forcing us into fellatio and pissing on our graves? That’s not just extreme, it’s take quite a disturbed mind to come up with that stuff. I think someone has been spending a bit too much time with the Bible

Also I think he’d have found the disciples of his great noodliness were Pirates, (Yahr!!) had he taken a little time to read up on us.

May his noodly appendage touch the poor soul who sent this

RAmen

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Hmm, well said! Articulate, to the point, loaded with rational arguments, I do believe I see the light, hallelujah brother! You don’t by any chance live in Florida do you? Were you the one that moved to add the word “Theory” to the teaching of evolution in their schools? I’m sure it was you, your homiletic signature is evident in this discourse.

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Like, this guy must like make his like second grade english teacher like so proud….

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Dear Prophet Bobby,
.
This is so bad that it does not deserve a response. I know your policy is to post hate mail, but this one is really beyond belief. Thoughtful hate mail, a la Rachel, is at least worth reading, but this one is not worth the time. It makes no point, no argument against the FSM or our church.
.
I suppose you did not want hurt jade-jewel’s tender feelings by not posting it, but still…

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Lemme guess, you must be a good christian.

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I would like to ask FSM the almighty, why has this even been posted? Its so bad its not even ridiculous, just plain depressing.

Thank you,
CC, a new convert

Ramen to all

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LET JESUS FUCK YOU LET HIM FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Such angry and juvenile remarks could only be spoken by inbreed, cousin marrying, de-evolved troglodytes such as yourself jade-jewel. You certainly talk large for someone with an obvious phallic deficiency. Someday when you are filling your three headed offspring with this kind of loathing and intolerance, may you realize just how ignorant you truly are, and feel the touch of His Noodley Appendage. In the mean time it would behoove you to think before you speak (or type as the case may be) so as not to convince all those around you of just how mind numbingly dull and asinine you must be. For the sake of your cousin and the world in general I hope you are sterile or at least have an emasculating experience involving some kind of heavy machinery. I realize most of this is over your head so I’ll stop now before I use any more words you have yet to learn on you twelve year stint in kindergarten. RAmen.

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Wow, what I don’t understand is this. People come and preach that they aren’t going to go to hell because they don’t worship ‘false’ idols…. They may not go to hell for that reason, but they sure will go to hell for being a fuck-tard…
Whomever our creator may be (I vote for his Great Noodly One) gave us freedom of choice…
Don’t be a hater because our god is cooler than yours bitches!

ALL PRAISE THE NOODLY!

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what is with all the profanity and hostility? you need a xanax or something!

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“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! ”

Perhaps not, but you’re definitely going to Hell for blaspheming.
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen.

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First, read the entire website, then seek counseling, my profane friend. The cult of the FSM is a spoof reaction to the efforts of right wing religious zealots to have Creationism or Intelligent Design taught in public schools under the guide of “science.” Neither Creationism nor Intelligent Design can be considered science by rational beings and therefore should not be taught in schools as such. Followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster believe that our theory makes just as much sense and if a public school teaches Creationism or Intelligent Design they should teach that the world was created by the FSM with his noodly appendage. That’s all. Your reaction is violent, irrational, and distinctly un-Christian. I know many Christians and they are secure enough in their faith to not be offended by us. In fact, the Christians I know are offened by those who want Creationism and Intelligent Design to be taught in schools as science. I don’t understand how you can be so angry … after all, it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster who gave you life in the first place with his noodly appendage. You should love and revere him as we, his followers, do. Arrgghh!

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“Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid!”

I’ll take that bet, how much?

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This is most definitly fake. I really hope it is because if it is real, than my already low opinion of our society just dropped serveral points.

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I do believe jade-jewel has LOTS of issues/problems……and I think religion is the least of them.

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Wow. Out of 5 billion sperm, you were the one that made it, huh?

Eerie.

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Wow. And they say cults are dangerous?

Jade-Jewel. (Yes, I respect you enough to capitalize your name for you). I suggest a set of psychotherepy. Your obvious bipolar disorder is getting in the way of normal human relations.

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I like your Christ.
I do not like your Christians.
They are so unlike your Christ.
– Mahatma Gandhi

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How dare you insult my father !

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divine flying spaghetti monster,

have mercy on jade’s soul !

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I hope you feel better about yourself now.

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Wow. Your intelligence is amazing. I feel like we should put you in a jar and study you using the scientific method or something. I can tell that you must be right by the sheer number of monosyllablic slanderous words that you scream at people. Obviously this truth that you possess must bring a level of peace and clarity to the world that us pastafarians do not understand.

Thats okay… remember that the FSM loves you.

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This is stupid. Moving on.

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Somebody needs a hug! Or perhaps heavy medication.

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jade-jewel:
.
Even the early Christians were ridiculed and persecuted by the Romans, among others. The Hovering Macaroni Miscreant, who is the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s “right hand noodle”. You see, the Hovering Macaroni Miscreant intentionally puts misleading religious rhetoric into human society to see which people can see through the lies to get to the truth of the glorious Flying Spaghetti Monster. I see that you have bought into the HMM’s “God” and “Jesus Christ” delusions wholeheartedly, which is very sad. The FSM wants you to be in heaven with him when you die, enjoying the fruits of the Beer Volcano and the Stripper Factory.
.
Pastafarians see the truth, taste the truth, and know the truth.
.
R’Amen!
.
- Cap’nUberbob

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HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Glad I’m not part of his religion. Who the hell wants to hang out for eternity with a deluded idiot. Better yet… WWJD?…LOL LOL LOL! I really doubt he’d tell somebody to suck their balls! The FSM however…he does tend to get drunk a lot…

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Virulent!!

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I am too disgusted with you for words.
One thing I chose to pick up on was where you said you’d tie us all down and force feed us spaghetti and the FSM wouldn’t save us…
I absolutely 100% guarantee that Jesus wouldn’t save you if I did the same to you.
Please don’t be so agressive- I’m sure both religions could be friends.
Ramen.

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I think you might be on to something with this garlic toast disciple. I thank you for furthering my belief on the flying spagetthi monster with this new idea. RAmen!

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eating spaghetti is a form of worship. i hope you do send some to africa. and not all spaghetti can talk, just the single God FSM. The disciple.prophet is henderob (as far as i know) Also, its going to be hard for you to piss on millions of graves, but maybe if you’re really dedicated you might. You don’t need to tie me up and force feed me spaghetti, I do so willingly. The only real idol is the FSM, therefore no hell for me. i have never had anything shoved down my throat. and i was unaware Mr. Bush had a: “BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK!!” and what doesnt look like a spaghetti monster?

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you suck dick you fat whore.

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Now that’s what I’m talking about! We haven’t gotten mail that entertaining for some time, and I for one feel refreshed.
One thing that strikes me about this one is that “jade-jewel” seems to think that her very own Jesus Christ believes in the FSM, as evidenced here: “JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”. It appears that jade-jewel might possibly be trying to bridge the gap between the outdated Christianity and the newer, hipper FSM Church.

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Wow. I can almost feel the christian love and compassion coming from this guy. BTW, you will go to hell for denying the FSM.

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you said so yourself, its all a joke. so lighten up. the internet is full of all sorts of stuff, much worse than this. just laugh, or die of a stroke at an early youthful age.

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I love it how people swear and curse on the Internet. Just because you cant actually see them, they think they can act like a total jackass.

hooray for Technology

Found this site quite a few years ago, I do not believe in God (or a flying spaghetti monster) but I always get a laugh from it. Not sure if you people actually do believe it or not, or if its just a joke, but good work, and keep it up! Laughter is the most important thing in life

-Will
Member of the “Save the Classic Liners” team

Protect the SS United States, America’s greatest Maritime Acheivment

Find out how at
http://www.ssmaritime.com/SS-United-States.htm

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I am one hundred per cent certain this guy is NOT related to Barach Obama.

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Post again and I will personally shove crucifixes up your mouth and say “HAH! where’s your god now, huh?!”
Besides, how about religion in our classes? Isn’t that shoving something down peoples throat?
Oh, and when you don’t want to believe that bullshit, YOU GET CALLED INSENSITIVE! I’m sorry I crushed your fantasy and gave you a life! Please call me insensitive!

To us the FSM isn’t Jesus either. Because Jesus looks more like a fucking hippy.

Just to let you know… this site is pure sarcasm… you know, sarcasm, that thing we mock idiots like you with, especially when you can’t notice the obvious sarcasm.

Who’s the dumb bitch now, huh, dumb bitch?

Oh, I’ve been wondering one thing now by the way: Why are you guys against gay people, yet you worship a giant crotch?

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Sorry for my last comment, got a bit agressive because of this guy calling us dumb bitches without even spelling right. Sorry to all Christian people as well. I just needed to get it all out. Truly sorry for all the good guys out there.

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Jade-Jewel you just showed everyone that you do not know how to read. You never heard of satire. You must be trash from the way you type. You are a sad excuse for a human. Click about and read what it says and why it came about. It about not teaching Intelligent Design in science class. You are proof there is no such thing as Intelligent Design.
.
I hope your not old enough to vote. It is scary that morons like you are allowed in the voting booth. Go back to your minimum wage job because you obviously are not smart enough to do anything else.
.
RAmen!

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This hate-mail doesn’t even deserve a response.
.
Typically, I haven’t got the time to respond to someone with such an obvious lack of intelligence, but I’ll humor ‘Jade-Jewel’ (who obviously has never had humor in his life).
.
So, Jade…or whatever your real name is…why is it you feel the need to come here and say such things? And how dare you say our FSM is ridiculous, and not realistic. Last time I checked, RELIGION NEVER HAD TO BE REALISITIC, YOU JUST NEED PEOPLE TO BELIEVE IN IT. I certainly believe those Christians, who’s Jesus can walk on water, and was his own Father, and who also came back from the grave.
.
Also, yes, you should serve up Spaghetti to starving people in Africa. We would all like that. The FSM is always willing to help out. Alongside that, you don’t need to ‘force-feed’ us spaghetti. We love to eat it. It’s an honor to eat spaghetti (makes me feel closer to the Noodly Savior).
.
“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?”
.
How ironic that is is beyond me. Nobody EVER shoves FSm down another’s throat. That’s one of the things most of us here HATE. Typically, it’s those hardcore Fundamentalists who do that to fun-loving people like us.
.
Basically, ‘Jade-Jewel’, you are an idiot.
.
Have a nice day.

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Wow, did someone really spend the time to write this diatribe? Maybe this person should go back to grammar school and learn how to write.

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“I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Yes – pretty much the point…

“im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! ”
Perhaps you’ll go to hell for ‘Taking the Lord’s name in vain’ then?

Wait – You’re a heavily indoctrinated person named Jade-Jewel and you have a big black cock? I’m starting to see the source of your anger problems…

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“YOU DUMB BITCH!!!”
I bet you’re a Christian, dumb bitch?
.
“ this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god !”
Then what is god, dumb bitch?
.
“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
That’s very nice of you. You’re clearly a compassionate dumb bitch.
.
“you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell!”
So you are a Christian! I wonder what gave it away, dumb bitch?
.
“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Oh sorry, you’re quite right. He’s a sadist with a beard in a bath rode how silly of us, that’s why more realistic dumb bitch.
.
“ IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!”
So you’re saying Jesus does talk to you dumb bitch? You should tell your doctor about that.
.
“ Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around.”
Why would I want to share my valuable stash with a dumb bitch like you? I don’t even think you could handle it, what with being a dumb bitch an’ all.
.
“ Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something??”
Are you that stupid you can’t read an ‘About’ page when it’s clearly at the top of the site? What a dumb bitch! Seriously, how dumb must this bitch be to not even know what they are writing a page of drivel about? Did this bitch get up this morning and think’ how can I make my self look dumb today? I know…”
.
“ What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball?”
So you didn’t even read the title at the top of the page? Wow you are dumb… Bitch.
.
“ LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!!”
Oh and we’re the sick ones? All comes out now doesn’t it? Little creep likes to piss on graves.
.
“ BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!!”
No this is a joke:
Two fish in a tank.
One says to the other,
‘You know how to drive this thing?’
.
“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!!”
And how do you intend to do that? Or should I ask; you and who’s army, dumb bitch?
.
“and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now?”
And will all your imaginary friends congratulate you and tell you how cool you are? Please! If you met me in real life and I told you I posted here you’d shut you bitch mouth. I’ve seen your kind before, all mouth and no trousers. You can’t even come up with intelligent insults; you just expose your self for the dumb little bitch you are.
.
“Is he gonna save you?”
I’d be more concerned about who’s going to save you. Your clearly need some sort of help, dumb bitch.
.
“ NOO!”
Are you some kind of dumb bitch cow, to stupid to say MOO correctly? Or just to stupid to use the spell checker on your PC? (By the way, in case you weren’t sure, a PC is the thing you’re thumping away on wile dribbling).
.
“Cause hes NOT REAL!”
Oh well done! No really, did you come to that conclusion by your self, dumb bitch? Or did you get help from your therapist?
.
“Do you guys like revolve around food or something?”
What are you talking about dumb bitch?
.
“Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!?”
Like, you can, like, look at the taco’s but you can’t, like, click on the about tab? Those would be a link to someone else site dumb bitch.
.
“Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion???”
Once again, if you weren’t such a dumb bitch you’d know that. It’s not a secret stupid.
.
“Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid!”
Ha ha, fantasying about what it would be like to be on drugs dumb bitch? If you had some ball you could try some?
.
“Cause this is some trippy shit!”
How would you know, I bet you’ve never even had alcohol have you? I’ll even go as far as to say your one of those kids the cool kids give alcohol free beer too and then laugh as you make an arse of yourself pretending to be drunk, dumb bitch.
.
“ AND yes i do believe in hell!”
Well I gathered that. Anyone as stupid and hateful as you has to be a dumb bitch believer . Probably a closet case too.
.
“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
No just for regular Idol worship, dumb bitch. I take it you know something about religion? Or are you just some dumb bitch wanking off because you get turned on by using rude words now that your stuffed toy collection has stopped talking to you?
.
“JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”
I still can’t belive you belive in Hell, a place on one has seen or been too, dumb bitch.
.
“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?”
No, that’s for lesser religions like yours, ones that appeal to dumb bitches.
.
”WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt!”
What doesn’t? Be more specific dumb bitch. What’s a spaghetti monster suppose to look like?
.
“SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
I knew it! I knew you were a closet case! Poor little sexual repressed dumb bitch.
Maybe if you weren’t such a cunt someone would want to be your friend, then maybe they’d pity you enough to suck your undersized cock for you.
.
“- jade-jewel”
Well thanks for coming and making yourself look like a dumb bitch.
It’s always a pleasure to ridicule a sexually repressed, hate filled idiot.
So long dumb bitch!

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Oh wow, I am in awe.
How can you keep that much rage going for that long. I’m assuming, from the spelling, grammar and low brow profanity, that jade has a rather low IQ and cannot type that well. So, in order to bang out this chaming piece of invective he/she/it must have been tapping away one fingeredly for quite some time. It is very difficult to stay that angry for that long, I know, I tried, couldn’t do it.
There’s so much wrong with this one I don’t know where to start on this one, and I’m so blown away, so I’m going to let others pull it apart…
… wow, I’m seriously impressed… that’s a lot of anger…. I’d seek counselling if that was me….

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This angry man could really use some Marinara sauce and meatball love! Calm down my young brother. We Pastafarians don’t knock your beliefs of men who can turn water to wine, walk on water, heal the sick and allow you passage to an unproven immortality. So please don’t knock our beliefs that we were touched by his tasty carbohydrates!

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…..Whoa. Someone needs to take his/her pills today.

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You people make me laugh. In making a point that there is no evidence to prove the FSM exists would be the same as me saying this.. “ther is no God U dum bitches u can’t prove he exists”. You can’t bash on a belief system that has the same flaws as your own religion. It’s called hypocracy. I know, a big word… look it up.

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what?

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Jade-jewel your an idiot. I’m not going to waste my time saying anything more about you.

RAmen

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?

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calm down dear.

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Taken from Dictionary.com

sat·ire [sat-ahyuhr]
–noun 1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.

——————————————————————————–

[Origin: 1500–10;

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Magnificent! Takes the whole hate-mail concept to an entirely new level. I’m sure Jesus would be proud of you.

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Mark 12:31.
.
You’re in my prayers.

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Well, I may disagree with his opinion, but I have to give him something: he’s clearly a balanced person.

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I would love to see you get a beat down and laugh while saying wheres you god now?

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Lol go die then ask where god is

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I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone *quite* this angry with us!

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Don’t you all love how religous people preach peace, yet you get this?

“i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!” If your god is so powerful, why doesn’t he just stop the hunger now?

“Like cause you have fine art taco photography” You evidentally don’t know fine art when you see it.

“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?” Like the crusades or christian based charities?

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“I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC”

Like an invisible deity who is able to do anything in the world (except create a stone so heavy he can’t lift it) who so loves everyone that he sacrifices his own son and then, despite this tremendous love, sends them to hell if they a) refuse to believe in him or b) thank him profusely for giving up his son.

*that*s realistic right there. I could *totally* buy that.

“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!!”

As a diabetic, this would be compromising to my health and could be considered a very serious threat to my life. Are you sure you don’t want to apologize for that? I’m sure there are many statutes that cover physical threats….

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Umm…I have a question. What?

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Don’t you all love how religion preaches peace, but you get this?

“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!” If your god can make it rain bread and quail and split waters, couldn’t he just stop the hunger?

“Like cause you have fine art taco photography” You evidentally don’t know fine art

“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?” Like the crusades or christian based charities??

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“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
No, of course not; you’re going to hell for sinning against your beliefs. What ever happened to “Love thy fellow man”?
Go read the Bible for once. I’ll bet I’ve read more of it than you have.

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How un-godly is the tone of your diatribe, how gramatically incorrect, how mean-spirited! Would your Jesus have rebuked an unbeliever in this disgusting fashion? If you want to disagree with us, please do so in a civilized manner; then perhaps someone other than only one person (me) will even think it worthwhile to respond to your nastiness.

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Last time I checked, your god isn’t very realistic either. Since when does realistic mean incarnates himself in a virgin then dies and reanimates 3 days later? Also, you seem like a very violent person, and you help the world out in a negative way with all of your rage against satirical fun. I’m sure if your god does exist, hes angrier with you than he is with us. cheers!

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jade-jewel,
I am going to assume that you are a Christian because of the frequency of you use the name of God and Jesus. Since I have a degree in religious studies I can assure you that Pastafarianism has fewer holes in its gospel and beliefs than the entire Judea-Christian belief system. If you have so much faith in Jesus perhaps you should read some of the gospels that did not make it into the bible. As far as scholars can tell, they were written at the time of Jesus, but they were not included in canonized scripture because they raised to many questions about who Jesus really was. Read the Infancy Gospel of Thomas and tell me you still think that your God is any better than ours. Or perhaps you should actually read your bible all the way through because if you knew anything about your own religion you would know that your language is enough to send you to your hell. don’t be a hypocrite.

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I think what bothers me most about the “Christians” who comment here is how completely offensive some of them are.

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@jade-jewel
“What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy?”
.
The disciples of the FSM are a group of Pastafarians and regulars to the online CoFSM. They were devout, evangelical believers before moderation was instated. Why? It’s an invitation-only group. You are most definately not invited.

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I don’t think Jesus ever said, “SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”, but he did say, “Love thy neighbor.” I guess you could take them to mean the same thing. It’s all how you interpret it.
.
FSM bless you and your BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK.
.
-OEJ

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you are such a fucking idiot.
do you know what a parody is? look up that word, dumbass….
This is a PARODY religion, made because they were going to teach other ideas of ‘intelligent design’ in school besides evolution eg. adam and eve came down and started everything…
SO, if they are going to teach that acoording to faith, then why cant they teach OUR faith in a ‘flying spaghetti monster’.
No-one (except for a scientologist) is stupid enough to actually believe in this shit.
i cannot believe ANYONE (you) would actually think that… you really are a stupid fucker.
so you should go suck your own big black presidential cock.

-m

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LOL – Oh dear me. Are we really expected to take this seriously? He is asking us if WE are force fed? What a monumental piece of rubbish!

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ssst.

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In the words of Ron White, “The next time you have a thought… just let it go.”

You posted this before you talked to me, and that was your mistake. You really think trolling these boards and stirring up this kind of poor excuse for writing is going to change anyone’s mind about anything? Well it won’t. The best you can hope for is for people to just ignore you and move on. What is more likely is that you will show the ignorance you are so afraid the world will know about.

How do I know you are afraid of that, you ask? Simple, you feel the need to speak out in the most threatening way possible to people who do not wish you harm in any way, shape or form. These people don’t want to convert you to Pastafarianism. They don’t want you. They want intelligent people to see the information and letter to the Kansas State School Board and be entertained by it, as well as make the intelligent people among those arguing for Intelligent Design to take a step back and look at their argument to see how faulty it is.

Let me ask you something, since it is my belief you are talked down to and thus spend little time thinking of the basis of your argument. How many times, in recent history, has God reached down and saved anyone in the spectacular way you are describing (the way you specify that the Flying Spaghetti Monster won’t)? The fact is that if there is a God out there that he has decided that we should have the will to do whatever we want without glorious reprisals from the Angelic Host or him. If he exists, as you say, than he uses each and everyone of us as a barometer of how evil or good each other are. He will not prevent it. If your criteria is that the deity you believe in is real only if he were to stop humiliating torture being done to us, then your God doesn’t exist either. If someone were to worship the Police, not as a particular city’s bureau but as a whole or ideal, they are much more likely to be saved from such a sadistic person than you or the Pastafarians are.

Think about that when next you think that Science and Faith are exactly the same thing. It is for each of us to decide for ourselves what we believe is the reasoning for all the things that happen. Science merely tells us how they happen. Even when science says “This is why this happens,” it is only a how. We don’t know why the world has these particular rules, science merely tells us what the rules are. Faith, belief… that tells us why.

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Oh, the irony…

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“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!”

So, is this guy implying Jesus talks to him? Or that spaghetti is less realistic than an invisible all knowing being?

I can only hope he will someday be touched by its noodly appendage.

Oh, and please do not mock the garlic bread.

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What a shinning example of a Christian that you put forth there friend. Oh and if you would actually read the info on this page maybe you would realize that this is a SATIRE. It’s all in good fun sir. But seriously its people like you that make me lose faith in intelligent humanity. Have a nice day sir and may you be touched by the FSM’s noodley appendage.

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Our religion is infilitely more realistic than yours. We have evidence supporting our beleifs. Just look at the pirate numbers vs. global temperature graph. Does the bible have graphs? I think not! Our beleifs aren’t self-contradictory either.

I don’t think grave-pissing is respectable behaviour for a christian. There must be some supposed afterlife-penalty for that.

It’s curious that the vast majority of hatemail sent to this site comes from christians. Issues?

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Wow. Jesus talks to you? (but you think WE’RE on drugs..)

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Where would we even start to reply to this?

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“YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster”

I didn’t get passed that. First. How do you know?

Second. I just didn’t feel this post was worth my time. Starting off with insults is pretty pointless and lessens your credibility. I came here to just check on CoFSM and sure enough I see this garbage. Is this how your false “god” would want you to speak? If so then I would take the Flying Spaghetti Monster over your “god” any day, however I prefer Google myself. Well take it easy “jade-jewel” you douche.

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Wow, you sure told us..

*Hangs head in shame*

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even if you hate him FSM still loves you. Besides is your god better, whats he made of? Energy? FSM created you and you created your god.

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Why thank you. Thank you very much :)

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I always wanted to break this one out:
.
JINGLES’ PATENTED F***WIT FINDER
.
(1) Poster’s Name: jade-jewel is teh ghey.
.
(4) Bad Grammar: you dumb biatch, you probably repeated what you were most frequently called before you dropped out of school. This hate-mail was chock full of run-ons, incomplete sentences, and misplaced (or altogether missing) apostrophes. And I guess you were skipping school the day they taught helping verbs. I am surprised you were even able to find your way onto the internet. It must be free in the prison library. I don’t give your mail full marks for bad grammar, because some others have been worse.
.
(4) Bad Spelling: the word “spaghetti” is repeated how many times on this site, and you still spew out “SPEGHETTI?” You can’t be taught.
.
(2) Overuse of Caps lock: Yeah, we get the point, you are mad.
.
(1) Threats of burning in hell, divine vengeance, etc.: Your threats are weak, go back to your bible. Oh wait, you aren’t quoting it, because you probably can’t read the big words.
.
(3) Threats of physical violence, rape, etc: What, I don’t rate an oar? I want an oar.
.
(2) Threats of violence against the FSM: You’re going to chop Him up? Ooooh, He is scared.
.
(2) Lowbrow insults: nothing especially creative here.
.
(0) Accusations of homosexuality: conspicuosly missing.
.
(1) Spamming: This would probably be more applicable in a thread. I give it one point, because I don’t think you’ll be back to participate in a discussion. You just left your little hate message and went back to your cell.
.
(2) Dismissing CoFSM as a joke or at extremes, a cult: Yeah, you mentioned cult, but it was half-hearted.
.
(0) Seriously referencing AiG (or similar) material: Nope, not a mention. How disappointing.
.
And we come up with on Jingles’ scale…
.
22
.
20-24.5: Arsehole From the beginning, this guy is irritating. Thankfully, he just doesn’t have much skill at it. Obviously suffering under the weight of some sort of mental baggage, be it oedipal issues, repressed memories of the bad things the priest did, or just frustrated from being unable to tie his own shoelaces at the age of twenty, he sees flaming as a legitimate excuse to vent the rage. As tedious as his posts may be, just be glad he isn’t out on the streets instead.

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Sounds like a fake hate mail to me. No one could be that stupid.

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“IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC”
speaking from experience?

This guy seems to know a lot about drugs, sorta says something about his religion.

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The force-feed line really made me laugh. Oh delicious irony.

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wow that was a mouth full.

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Christianity at its finest!

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“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” ”

Am I the only one who sees the irony in this? I would love to do the same to yourself and hear your useless cries to your false god, and yet I will ask the same questions of yourself. “Where is your fucking douche bag god now? Is he going to save you? No… because he is not real. I used to be a so called christian like yourself (and yes i hate to admit this) but i realized my folly before any more effort wasted. Then i seen the light that was FSM. May we all be in his noodly grace.

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I think if there was any doubt that the Flying Spaghetti Monster existed before this, it’s obvious that he’s real now, and testing us through the poor grammar and hate-speech (also poor) above. I hope that one day the great FSM will reward those who see his message in the midst of this… message. FSM be with you, Jade-Jewel, and you are quite blessed to have the FSM himself speak through you.

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…Yes, we’re the ones on drugs.

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Wow!!!
Such profanity. I am sorry you feel you must curse so much to get your point across, which unfortunately you have a very difficult time doing.
You sound more like a raging teenager then a rational person attemption to get a valid point across.

I am sure Jesus would be proud of you. I am sure the Pope would say, “He’s not with us” Actually most religions would be embarrased to associate with you.

No worries, Jesus and FSM will forgive you.

MHNATY
(R)amen

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So… Jesus talks to you? Well the FSM talks to me every night, I swear. I feel his noodly presence all over the place when I eat pastas. Aren’t pastas enough real for you?
.
So the flying spaghetti monster isn’t real? IT ISN’T???? Why are you so convinced at that?
.
In the first place you never saw him. But I never saw Jesus or God on my side. Maybe you will argue that God existed forever. But I can prove to you that the FSM is eternal. It’s written in the Gospel! And as we all know, a book MUST contain the thruth. At my advantage, I will only remind that mind has no chance of being the avalanche effect of a sect born some thousand years ago.
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Don’t worry, we go in hell… BECAUSE IT DOESN’T EXIST, IT’S BULLSHIT!!!
.
For the end of my message I intend to be more decent than you, as long as you made the final touch on you lack of credibility…
.
Peace and pastas, Benji

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I have no words.

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Hmmmm a response from an intellectual, sarcasm fan?

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I find it very difficult to believe that you are in fact some sort of christian when all you want to do is cause violence in his name. Wait…

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Seriously…. I DARE you to make less sense!

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You’re ignorant

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You’re ignorant.

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Hmmm. Another triumph for No Child Left Behind.

I diagnose a young person with very limited experience who has been listening to his classmates talk and thinks they invented all those “bad” words. That language impresses him so they must impress us, right?. Hope his Mommy doesn’t find that on the family computer, or Somebody will be in big trouble with soapy bubbles coming out of his mouth.

Honey, we have all had our first chance to feel all wicked by saying fuck and cunt and so forth. I was that age once….. a long time ago and in a galaxy far, far away.

As far as the limited content of your letter is concerned:

You will not have to force feed me spaghetti (note the spelling. There is this really neat book called a dictionary…..books scare you? Okay, try googling this phrase: “spell checker”). I will happy partake in that communion with my god.

The FSM enjoins us to not “act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. “. (from the first of the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”) so I am not going to make fun of your religion. Besides, you are doing a great job of that without my help.

Bu I think you are missing a good bet here. The passion and language of your missive (that dictionary would come in real handy here, wouldn’t it?) suggests to me that you are feeling a need to upset a bunch of people. I humbly suggest that conversion to the CoFSM might work well for that.

My you be touched by His Noodly Appendage. Hope the acne clears up.

RAmen

.

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Wow, you ignorant, intollerant, foul mouthed hypocrit (you might want to look some of these words up) – you’re religion must be so proud that you’ve decided to speak so eloquently on their behalf… and you wonder why the Flying Spaghetti Monster is needed to save mankind? Open your eyes and your mind – if you want to critisize, perhaps you should try educating yourself first and then perhaps you’ll be rewarded with some sense of enlightenment.

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Seriously….calling you an arsehole would be an understatment.

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oh yeah, it´s mails like these that inspire me to continue praising his noodly magnificence.

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Hello,
our religion is designed to have exactly the same amount of evidence as yours. We have a gospel, people who have seen the flying spaghetti monster and a blind faith, just like you. A blind faith in a believe without ANY proof at all. What is the difference between this religion and yours..? Maybe yours is foolish to believe..?
By the way try and look a bit deeper into our ‘flying spaghetti monster religion’ there is an element of sarcasm there. :)

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*Sigh*

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Hello? Jesus does not talk to you either, my sick friend. What you hear is called a day dream, or maybe a wild imagination. Unless, of course, you actually here a voice in your head, in which case it is schizophrenia. But the man who was Jesus (if he existed at all) is long dead.

Besides, haven’t you ever sat down in front of a wonderful plate of spaghetti and heard “eat me, I’m so delicious!” I guess this is a cannibalistic religion… fuck it, I’m still in.

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Hello? Jesus does not talk to you either. What you hear is called a day dream, or maybe a wild imagination. Unless, of course, you actually here a voice in your head, in which case it is schizophrenia. But Jesus the man (if he existed at all) is long dead.

And besides, haven’t you ever sat down in front of a wonderful plate of spaghetti and heard “eat me, I’m delicious”! I guess this is a cannibalistic religion… fuck it, I’m still in.

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hahahahahahahah great one!

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wow kid…if the pooint was anything other then to have FUN, i might agree with you. as it is, i think you need a course in sarcasm, a course in suicide techniques, and a course about racism. Why dont you go fuck yourself, and let us enjoy ourselves in peace.

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lol this has to be the funniest hate mail i’ve ever read! this guy is retarded if he thinks he’s getting into Christian heaven, he should convert now and take advantage of our flimsy morale standards. all this hate mail spawns from jealousy of our forgiving lord!

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I think there should be an i.q. test required for all of the people who wish to use the internet.
.
It’s called SATIRE jade-jewel. It’s not to be taken literally.
.
And we’re the ones going to hell? We don’t hate. You do. We lovingly accept anyone and everyone. By your oh-so-perfect Christain standards, we are ascending to your glorious heaven and you are descending to the fire and brimstone pits of hell.
.
Most of us eat spaghetti. It is kind of like our version of the eucharist. Truthfully, I would love it if you came over and fed me some spaghetti one day. I love spaghetti. But no meat sauce. Eww.
.
RAmen.

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Wow!! You really took the time to respond to this thought provoking humor. Gee, I wonder how much of a positive change you make in the world sitting on your fat chunky ass. If it isn’t BY GOD it will be. Contriving insults to people who want to actually enjoy their life, not just pander to a notion of purity and moral sanctitude is neither of those things. You are neither moral, nor sanctimonious and you might just want to pipe down, you overly pompus ass, and take a little criticism of your permiable faith and maybe even ask yourself if you deserve the rights the religion of your choosing has offered you.

Now go wash you hands, keyboard and mouth out with some high lye soap and choke on it!!! Bitch!!!

Dana 42 — ALL HAIL THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!

PS look at all the paranoid religion mongers.

Being good and decent gets you places. Being selfrightous gets you locked out of heaven. No god wants your attitude not behavior anywhere near. Check yourself.

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Firstly,
This guy has som serios anger management issues, maybe the result of one or two prayers not being totally fulfilled?

secondly,

Personally i think pasta is more realistic than creating a blend of ethanol and other organic substances from water.

thirdly

moreover I live the fact that so many of theese people tells us that pastafarianism is ridiculus beacause its not real..

and finally,

Does he get aroused by using so many capital letters or does he (I assume “he” beacause of the cock-thing but you never know and I am not one for practising prejudice) simply think “bigger is better”

May FSM bring peace into your (pitiful) existence..

Ramen

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“”That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr”"
.
Talks, walks, quacks like a duck -> duck.

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We love you, too, sweetie.

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Hmmmm, I’m sure glad this guy believes in hell so we don’t have to worry about him cutting in line for a nice cool frosty beer. So sad. He seems touched alright, but not by our FSM. Gotta run, my noodles are ready. I like butter and poppy seeds on mine (gee, does that count as drugs???-Gaaar).
-PastaDgoMama

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Wow, way to many errors to be covered, I do beleive however that as the first one posting I just have to ask, is there actually someone dumb enough to type like that? I mean is this real or is henderbob messing with us?

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he says “you people are sick” and then proceeds to say that he IF HE KNEW that the flying spaghetti monster was real he would chop him up, not to mention the sea of unitelligent threats, insults and swear words.

“Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid!” Is he trying to say he would like to make a donation to the ship fund?

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all is well my son. thy shall be touched by his divine noodly appendage. controll thine rage for the pillaging. RAmen

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That was awesome!!!

Here’s my favorite part:
“yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”[sic]

No, jade-jewel, you will probably go to hell for this instead:
“when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you?[the sic of all sics]“

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Wow. Ummmmm, I don’t think that this is really even worth remarking on other than to say this. If you

want to represent your religion, do it in a nice, friendly, non-ranting way. That goes for all religions,

including atheism and agnosticism, as well as Christianity. Take a chill pill jade jewel! And no, I won’t

suck on whatever it is you want me to suck on, however presidential it may be. RAmen.

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Hmmmm,
im just passing through, but do you not think you have taken this a bit seriously?
Im pretty sure if you took life a lil less seriously you might enjoy it a little more.

pinch of salt yeah?!

Fucking Loser

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do you not think you have taken this a little seriously?

pinch of salt yeah?

fucking loser

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It’s good to know there’s good christians like you around.

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Hello jade-jewel. We both value and respect your opinion, thank you for the first good hate mail in quite a while. Have a pleasant day :)

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With the limited time I have it would be impossible for me to point out all the things wrong with this “letter”. I would however like to point out that anyone who would write like this jade-jewel person, is either faking it for attention or trying to make someone else look bad.
RAmen
James D,(first time for a first post)

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I would call you an ignorant, uneducated prick but since pointing out the obvious is counterproductive to effective arguing I’ll get to the point.

This letter, this entire website, is a joke. Nobody really believes in the FSM. If you took high school English you should know what Satire is.

To be consistent with my first statement I suppose it’s only fair I define it for you.

Satire is a work of writing that employs harsh sarcasm and irony to affect a social change.

The whole point of this entire thing is making fun of people who actually believe in intelligent design, like your mommy and daddy.

So go run along and continue to flood message boards with your idiocy, putting people like you in their place gives us intellectuals something to do when we’re bored.

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Ok one you are not going to get anywhere criticizing people if you curse every other sentence. You also should have some respect for other people’s beliefs; like us Pastafarians. If we didn’t respect others’ beliefs we would be putting down Christianity so much it wouldn’t have any power to get back up; but we don’t because we are mostly decent people. So you should really stop cursing at everyone just because you don’t like them and try acting like a civilized human-being; if that is possible for you.

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Whoa… this is hate mail of a quality I haven’t seen since “Bobby’s Last Reply,” and that was a LONG time ago!
It has shades of dogma mixing with the rich and heady aroma of bigotry and intolerance, an appearance that brings back fond remembrances of the fine communication skills of the Westboro Baptist Church, and even a tone redolent of complete and utter stupidity! Truly a magnificent bouquet of hate-filled ranting!
.
Seriously. I usually try to be polite, but that post is going a BIT to far. I wonder if they would start to get the satire if we pounded it into their heads with iron mallets, but I somehow doubt it.

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language!

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Wait. Why is it so far-fetched to believe in a huge blob of spaghetti that floats around and influences our lives? You believe that you have a huge undescribed guy floating around creating stuff with his magic powers, yet still giving birth asexually. I fail to see why you have issues with our beliefs when yours are so obviously flawed. Why dont you get over yourself and stop trying to push you fallacies on all of us.
Thanks.
Mike

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This is actually quite disturbing.

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“i wouldnt even spit in your direction”

and yet you take 5-10 mins to type out and post a load of dribble on this site…

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You should punch yourself in the head. A couple of times.

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“SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!” HOLY CRAP! OBAMA HATES US! and i was gonna vote for him to…

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Oh goody! I get to be the first to reply. Dude, you sound like a completely religious whack-job. It is abundantly clear, that you are just one instance away from not taking your daily anti-crazy pills, walking into a building and killing a bunch of people for your god.

You are so completely blinded by your own sheer stupidity and ignorance, that you miss the big picture that this glorious movement is all about.

Yar to the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!

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Too bad spelling wasn’t a valued skill at Sunday School.

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It’s a little disappointing that someone has spent that much time typing hate mail to a parody of sorts. Maybe the hate mail was meant to be a joke too, but it’s a super nasty one! The world has enough bad thoughts out there as it is. Come on! Have a laugh every once in a while! I promise you will feel better after a bowl of spaghetti and a hearty chuckle…

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This guy is definately NOT a christian – I’m sure that they don’t teach that shit in church.

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Also, what the hell is a shrum?

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You spelled spaghetti wrong. It’s on the title of the site and you spelled it wrong. Congratulations.

RAmen.

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This guy is calling us dumb (how we can collectively be a dumb bitch has me a bit confused, but I get the general idea), and right now there’s a pretzel with a vague resemblance to the alleged virgin Mary up for auction on eBay, and the bidding is over one million dollars. Even if the last three bids are hoax bids, the history shows an apparently legitimate buildup to over ten thousand bucks. But we’re the dumb ones.
Spaghetti night tomorrow!!!

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Its ok if you dont believe in fsm, I don’t, But you don’t have to be an asshole to disagree. Why did you even bother to leave a comment? You should probably get some friends or something to do instead of being a dick to people you don’t know.

P.S threating people over the internet dosnt scare them.

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Sigh…

Please spend you efforts learning proper English grammar and punctuation, perhaps then composition and diction. Try reading books. It’s very clear that you have far great challenges to confront in your personal life before you begin attacking a bunch of people over a parody.

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Wow, good Christians like yourself shouldn’t be swearing that much! Jesus may be listening!

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Wow, where to begin with this one… Grammar, spelling, intelligence, ability to use the opposable thumb properly for something more than self-gratification?

Let us dissect this tripe bit by bit, shall we?

“YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god !”

And I say unto you, he who is without faith shall never reach His house, and will be stuck with the bar tab.

“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell! FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!”

He is as real as He chooses to be, and if He so chooses to extend His noodly appendage unto the poor people of Africa, He certainly will. The poor people of Africa will need to come unto Him and be baptized in the holy Homestyle Sauce. We, who believe, cannot go to hell, for our beliefs do not allow for a place such as the Christian Hell. He is as realistic as any other god. Idolatry is forbidden in many religions, but not all. I say unto you, if you do not believe, you will never enter into His Kingdom, and the blessed strippers will never, for you, perform the sacraments of the most righteous lap-dance. You claim that your spaghetti does not speak to you. I say unto you that if you do not believe that your spaghetti can talk, you cannot hear Him. The fault is not that of the spaghetti, the fault lies within the non-believer.

“Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something??”

While some of us surely partake of the finer chemical substances available to His disciples, not all are privy to such prophecy inducing materials. To call Pastafarianism a cult is to demean the devout beliefs to which we adhere. I ask you, “Are you a member of a cult?” I say we both are.

“What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball? LOL!!!!”

We are all His disciples. We are the Pastafarians. Join us.

“You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” ”

I am certain that some of His disciples are ill at any moment in time, and I am certain that I speak for every disciple when I say unto you, “Thank you for not spitting.” I say further unto you that taking His body into our own is a sacred rite, and we perform it willingly. There is no need to, as you say, “… tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!!” Pastafarians are already saved. We have taken Him into our hearts and minds and we find peace in His divine light. We do not fear passing over to His Kingdom, for there the beer is free, and the strippers plentiful. He is as real to us, as your god is to you. If you wish to prove that He does not exist, you will also prove that your god does not exist, for they are both all powerful, all seeing, all knowing, and ever present forever and ever, rAmen.

“Do you guys like revolve around food or something? Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!?”

All major religions and civilizations revolve around food. Why should Pastafarianism be any different?

“Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit!”

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen, is the founder of the modern Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He is not the first founder, for there was once a deformation and eventual rehydration of the Church.

AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?
WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!
- jade-jewel

You claim, in one sentence, to believe in the tenets of the popular faith of Rome, and in the next, you use Rome’s holiest of holy symbols as a swear. I ask you, “Is this not against the teachings of Rome?” You will not hear a Pastafarian using His name as a swear, it doesn’t provide fluidity of speech. I also notice, with some worry, that you have already anointed Mr. Obama as the next president of the United Sates of America. While I agree with the sentiment, I worry about how you are so certain of the outcome. Are you blessed with the ability of divination?

In conclusion, jade-jewel, you must not simply read the front page of this site in order to understand the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You must read this site in its entirety to attempt to understand His noodly awesomeness.

For is it not written that He said unto the midgits, “Don’t eat junk food. A candy bar might give you a quick boost of energy, but after 20 minutes, you’ll feel run down. So eat smart!”

The Reverend Scott E. Lee
O’Fallon, MO

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Since it appears to be a test of the reality of a creator, I propose that we force feed you Jesus, until God comes down to stop us.

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA HA!! OMFSM HA HA HA! Wow. Just… wow. This is possibly the funniest single piece of English text that has ever been written. EVER. If I were to seriously comment one what you said:

1. First of all, you need to learn to speak English. You from China or something?

2. Yeah, um… so you’re Christian, I take it? Well, I guess you don’t get the whole “love thy neighbor as thyself” crap those hippies in the new testament were saying, do you?

3. Yeah. Piss on our graves. Dumb bitch. Etc. Still, you should be a comedian. This is just funny.

All praise the FSM!

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Where did you learn those flavorful words and insults? Church?

And won’t Mr. Jesus be mad for using his name in vain?

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haha, fun-ee. i like people who really think like this. they say “oh, FUCK spaghetti! you’re all dumb! Go DIE! Your GOD IS FUCKING FOOD!” and so on. but there isnt really proof of any god. no solid proof. Jesus, sure he can be real, probably is, what makes him the son of god? why does the image of man have to be god? god might as well be the air we breathe, slowly getting more polluted, so we die a slow death because of the horrible things we’ve wrought(or however that word is used..you know what i mean lol) its jesus humpers like these that make me not believe in any god whatso ever. But Kudos to The Flying Spaghetti Monster and all of His Divine Followers, cause your just as believeable as the rest of them. =)

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this is odd

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Your village called. They want their idiot back.

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Your village called, they want their idiot back.

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“SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!” and they are the sick, demented ones?

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Hey!
Hi, you can call me Rudy.
By the way,
dude, {or girl}
you’re an idiot.
Seriously,
I think it’s awesome the earth was made by a flying speghetti monster.
And humans evolved from pirates.
^^
I’d help the roaming pirate ship church if i had the money.
Sadly, I don’t.
Open your mind!

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Typical negro response, all violence and no rational.

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i agree wtf is this dumb shit flying? spaghetti? monster? would god be a monster? i mean this is so fucking hilarious ive put pics all over my myspace in exurburent laughter of the whole topic..my friends think this is hilarious….the stupid fucking picture of the water that resembles the “FSM”…that was just the random motion of water…wtf yall r all dumbasses…REPENT NOW…or youll go to hell..its not too late…God accepts any1 who believes………

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Wow, wait to knock someone down in a totally disrespectful manner, Jesus Christ.
You don’t know any better than the next person that it is real or not. I’m not saying I do,
but be open minded and stop being such a little bitch and insult the first thing you read that goes against what you think.

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Spaghetti is perfectly realistic.

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I hope FSM can positively impact your life with his noodly appendage. Ramen.

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Wow, so are you going to hell for drugs, language, stupidity, or overall bad attitude? That’s just unpleasant – unlike the thoughts of a beer volcano and stripper factory while cutting jokes with the FSM.
May you see the pasta,
RAmen

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Force feed me facts about spaghetti…yummy.

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Well, someone needs a chill pill…
Which is more believable? A giant man sitting up in the sky controlling our world, who created it out of nothing with a click of his fingers (maybe the universe is like a clap on light? clap on, clap off, clap on, clap off… :D ), or is a great Flying Spaghetti Monster that created everything out of the Chaos?
Lol, at least we dont get all riled up when you christian-types insult OUR religion!
Peace love and pirates!

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haha. missing the whole point. silly man.

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These bible bathers and bible blatherers are getting less and less intelligent. First, they didn’t understand the bible to begin with, then they didn’t understand pastafarianism, then they didn’t understand sarcasm, and now they don’t even understand gender.

At this rate, we’ll be lucky if they don’t start eating live people at random for lack of an understanding of food.

A response to jade-jewel, of the boring bible religeon. It’s boring because I say so(and I added it as a pastarific prophetic holy addendum to the back cover of a bible), so it must be true. I guess I should shove FSM pamphlets into some of the document slots at a bank now…

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Another fundie enters the mix, another waste of perfectly good electricity. I really wonder how people like this can even use a computer to type this out. I also wonder about motive. Does this sort of thing ever really change anyone’s ideas? Really, I’d like to know.

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Does this sort of thing ever change anyone’s mind about anything, or is everyone else like me, cleaning the laugh spittle off the monitor?

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“You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around.”

Indeed i would also like to know what drugs if any my fellow pastafarians possess. Don’t hold out on me guys, pass that shit around

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“big black dick” head
You must be retarded, its not that he is real, its the fact that ppl are trying to push there religions on other ppl so as a retaliation to the school system shoving that bs down the throats of OUR kids is the creation of another method of creation…. there is and never has been any physical proof of a “god” or jesus… http://www.zeitgeist.com watch it. god and jesus are metaphors, not real beings.. if you really believe that we were just put here than have fun.. but we dont need your bible thumping preaching.. the flying spaghetti monster is a mockery of religion, so fuck you. religion is all a cult! im glad it makes you happy, to each there own.. just respect our choice to be open minded
-M1N157RY-

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… Obama?

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Yeah so like, as we Christians eat the symbolic body of Christ, do you FSMs eat the symbolic body of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Because to be honest I’d really like to experience that.

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Sigh. Taking the lord’s name in vain, aren’t you?
Firstly, learn about grammar, punctuation and spelling. Then try putting it into practice. After that has been completed and close to perfected, you can go and learn that caps lock just makes you look like more of a dickweed than you think.
Why don’t you go to hell, Mr. Fundamentalist.

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Riiiiiiiiiight. I’d recommend anger management classes in this case.

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for someone who is (presumably) a Christian, this guy (or girl) certainly is very angry and hateful, not to mention intolerant of the beliefs of others. i’m sure most of his fellow Christians would disown him for his comments, but the reality is that a great number of Christians really think like this. “SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!” – is he pretending to be Obama?

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Is this one reply, or many different ones just crammed together?

Which ever it is, I applaud you for such great use of the english vocabulary and fine, exciting twists in the plot. This short story was a wonderful read, with the text just flowing beneath my eyes. I especially enjoyed how the young and enthusiastic author played with the witty grammar and many an exclamation mark.

I hope you do well in the future and publish many more outstanding short stories. Such excitement!

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Did they force fed you all that Christian theory? And since your proud of your big black appendage, why don’t you think about the force fed African when they were colonised by some freaky priest/slave capturer/slave seller/gold stealers…. don’t you realise that the people who made your ancestors (and/or the african) that hungry are the same piece of trash that came up with the Idea of parthenogenous boy spreading piece….

Jesus is fucking metal,
Peace, love and Pirates !

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Hello friend,
can you explain how you know the flying spaghetti monster is NOT real (which he is) and Jesus is real..?
It appears though that our religion has the same amount of evidence as yours, we have a gospel, thousands of followers and people who have seen the flying spaghetti monster too! I dont see how you can claim our religion is foolish at all, unless yours is as foolish as ours maybe..?

Do you understand the message the Flying Spaghetti Monster brings yet?

RA-men.

You are very angry for a christian by the way.

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Hello friend,
can you explain how you know the flying spaghetti monster is not real (which he is) and Jesus is real..?
It appears though that our religion has the same amount of evidence as yours, we have a gospel, followers and people who have seen the flying spaghetti monster! I dont see how you can claim our religion is foolish at all, unless yours is as foolish as ours maybe..?

Do you understand the message the Flying Spaghetti Monster brings yet?

RA-men.

You are very angry for a christian by the way.

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“AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”

but you are going to hell for being an asshole, and if you don’t go to hell, then i will so i won’t see you, seriously, i don’t need to put up with people like you for the rest of eternity.

FSM is the only true god and way of life, how can people look around and NOT see it’s all a creation of a Flying Spaghetti Monster?!

Ramen.

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“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!”

Wait wait, back up- More realistic? So taking something we KNOW to be real (Such as Spaghetti) and claiming that it’s on some level POSSIBLE that a being is taking the FORM of pasta is less likely then, oh, i dont know-

A magical bearded hippie that lives in the sky and becomes depressed when other’s don’e believe in him?
OH! or how about his son, who came to earth x-amount of years ago to be killed, then ressurected as a zombie? AND that when, given the proper blessings, you worship said zombie, then stale bread and wine will become his blood, which we MUST THEN CONSUME?

Cannibalistic savagery, i say!

You’re right, he’s not Jesus- He’s the FSM, and his noodley appendages reach far and wide.

RAmen

P.S.: That’s a lot of anger and rage that manifests in cursing and hate… EVEN if (and i’m going out on a massive appendage here) God and Jesus and virgin births were real…. would Jesus want you to be so hateful towards others?

I say nay- I think he would say to let dad sort them out.

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It’s too bad a lot of people don’t read the school board letter before saying their ignorant and often stupid remarks on this site.

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I think this person has very few friends. I wonder if she/he forgot to take her meds??

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“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?”
Sorry, Sweetheart, but you must have us mistaken for the religion with the bearded man in the sky and the constant contradictions coming from the book that’s supposedly the word of mouth of his drug dealer son.
“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
So, that would be the only circumstance in which you will help those poor children? Oh, you’re so considerate.
*sigh* This kid obviously has some issues within him/herself/hermaphrodite (jade-jewel having a big black presidential cock bitch?) aside from the obvious lack of attention paid in it’s English courses in grade school, so, my brothers and sisters, we should all pray to his Noodliness to help it return to the light and vanquish all of it’s inner demons.
May the Pasta be with you.
RAmen

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Dear Jade-Jewel,
I would suck your big black presidential cock, bitch, but unfortunately our Lord, FSM, discourages us from taking part in sexual relationships with people who are unable to express themselves without using 32+ exclamation points in a single paragraph.
Also, as you do believe in Hell, I would like to take a moment to say that you are either Muslim or Christian, and either way, you believe that Jesus Christ is a superior being. That is fine. However, please remember your rules to not take his name in vain.
Please give my regards to the big JC-man once you go up to Heaven, since you’re clearly not going to hell, as you said.
Thank you,
Joyful Chrysanthemum III

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Wow ur stupid its a joke obiviously how old are u 9?

Great stuff man =]

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Its a joke obvioulsy how old are you 9?

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you are absolutely correct. all of us pastafarians are indeed dumb bitches. none of us have ever read a book other than the gospel of the FSM. none of us have ever analyzed anything or taken a moment to think critically. most of us stole our undergraduate and graduate degrees from universities that may or may not exist (including the prophet, bobby… the laws of physics don’t actually exist. not quite sure how he managed to earn a degree in some derivative of the human imagination, but to each his own i guess). but the most revealing fault of all of us dumb bitches is that we have read the gospel and taken it for infallible truth (except for certain “progressive” sects of FSM that understand that pieces of the gospel are not true, while other portions of it are. i wish they would teach me how to pick and choose which excerpts from the gospel should be believed and which ones shouldn’t). as for the rest of us, we all follow the gospel without ever questioning it. some of us even go so far as to threaten other religions, proclaim that nonbelievers will go to a hell of flat beer and VD, and expound loads of emotionally uninformed religious rhetoric in attempt to scare/convert nonbelievers. but thankfully for us, nobody has ever scientifically or empirically disproven the existence of our god or the truth of our gospel, so we can continue through life as tremendous nonthinkers, buying wholesale the alleged myths and untruths found in the gospel of the FSM.

i suppose the best piece of advice you could offer any of us is to wake up. read a book or two. think independently. ask a question here or there. become aware and critical when an FSM religious leader tries to sell us lie after lie.

as always, we appreciate you proving our point for us.

RAmen

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More comments from the lunatic Christian fringe. Satire is not jj’s strength. I wonder if jj speaks to her mother with that mouth. Nasty, nasty jj.

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This is a mock religion sir, and was made for the specific purpose of arguing that Inteligent design should not be taught in schools. It was not made as a “true religion” but just as a means to prove a point.

so deal with it kid, this is america and anyone is free to believe what they wish, and persectuting others for their beliefs is something straight out of the dark ages, along with christianity.

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Seems like SOMEONE won’t enjoy his volcanoes and factories in the afterlife.
It’s not okay to believe in FSM, but it IS okay to believe that your god is a zombie that is his own father?
I can totally see why you’re angry.

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A fine summary of the ridiculousness and hypocrisy of all of the world religions. (Except ours of course.)

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WOW! Just wow.

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Dear jade-jewel:

Okay, you’ve gotten up the nerve to use “bad” words in an anonymous setting, but you are still so young you think adults will be shocked or offended by them. So you are very young indeed. That’s okay, we were all young once. By the way, if you want to be taken seriously, you need to learn how to use your spell checker. Otherwise, you look like a real n00b.

As for your message, all I can say is that eating spaghetti (note the spelling)is a sacriment to pastafarians, except we don’t need a miracle to turn such a meal into the body of our God. It already is.

Here’s a thought: You seem to be at the stage when upsetting your elders is important to you. Have you considered the possiblities of converting to FSM in that light?

Seriously, go and read the main letter, consider it in its context and then look up the word “parody” and the phrase “reductio ad absurdum”in a dictionary. No, no, I don’t care what you’ve heard, using the dictionary will not turn you into a fag.

Remember, ignorance is not your fault, but it is your problem. You are the one who has to solve it. Good luck.

RAmen!

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I suppose you neglected to read any of the material on this website. If you did happen to arrive at your moronic conclusion after reading said material, well then you are just a pretty pathetic human being.

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Hook, line & sinker! There really is one born every minute!

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Hook, line & sinker!! -There really is one born every minute!

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You make an excellent case.

Let me offer a response…

GO AWAY!

Our noodley lord is not an angry god, but he *can* be angered – Consider that you may face an afterlife without strippers OR beer!

I suggest you find a pirate and buy him a beer today as a means of showing penitence. TODAY.

Ramen.

Follower of the Noodle.

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Jesus isn’t your god, he is your god’s son. Learn your own religion before you make fun of others.

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The best hate mail ever!!

“I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!” I love this part.

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Honey, buy yourself a clue. You’ve been waiting for two millennia for the Second Coming of Christ, and we’ve only been waiting a couple of years for the Second Helping of the FSM. With lots of sauce, and a nice Chianti, BTW. And lol – what religion has been force feeding over the centuries? Ya’ ever hear of anybody being burned at the stake for the FSM? I thought not.

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all u cunts who think the fsm does not exist

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Yet another moving e-mail from a concerned christian. Of course, displaying good christian behavior. And you have to ask why I am a Pastafarian?

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Umm… pardon me “you dumb bitch,” but THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT! Bloody hell are YOU really this THICK!? Calling US dumb, look in the mirror hunny.

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My spagghetti is not JESUS either, His name is Ralph.

BTW Are there 2 people writting this mail or do you suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder. Because I can see at least 2 seperate people comming from this mesage.

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I could say the same thing about Christianity and how that cult destroyed the Roman Empire, but I believe that would be unnecessarily rude. :D

May His special sauce rain down upon thee.

-M-

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I love the fact that theese people keep attacking us beacause our deity is not realistic….. to god to be true

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Bloody hell…you are sick. i bet the islamic fanatics that your glorious country fight would say the same. so who is better then?
always when i read something like this i could thank god (if there were a god;) that i am German and born in an open-minded country.

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Seems like someone forgot to take his meds today.

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Jesus henderob, all hate mails are from your hand. I’m gonna make myself a nice plate of spaghetti, excuzes moi, Spaghetti.

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Obviously, someone here is either the victim of grave misinformation or has succumbed to terminal ignorance.

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One more thing, I’m sure that it is really hard for God to make people believe in him, you know, with him not existing and all. But, apparently, you can do it without a problem, so, good for you.

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Well, let’s see, if I were still searching for a faith system to believe in, and I hadn’t found that the FSM is a lot more appetizing and filling than any other gods out there (while being significantly less toxic) , I would most definitely be turned off from this Christian god who needs to be promoted by rude, uneducated (assumed based on the atrocious spelling) , sexually immature, disrespectful and incoherent followers.
People like this should be given a voice in the public, allowed to spread their nonsense. That would definitely promote atheism. This child could be for atheism what Bush is for Islam: one of the greatest recruiters yet, in all the worst ways.

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Well, let’s see, if I were still searching for a faith system to believe in, and I hadn’t found that the FSM is a lot more appetizing and filling than any other gods out there (while being significantly less toxic – see above rant) , I would most definitely be turned off from this Christian god who needs to be promoted by rude, uneducated (assumed based on the atrocious spelling), sexually immature, disrespectful and incoherent followers.
People like this should be given a voice in the public, allowed to spread their nonsense. That would definitely promote atheism. This child could be for atheism what Bush is for Islam: one of the greatest recruiters yet, in all the worst ways.

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Hello! I have a group of runners who plan to do a two day relay in June. We came across your site and would love to use Carbo Diem the name of our team. Would you have a problem with that? We’d buy t-shirts, etc.

Regards,
RabidRunner

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I’m guessin’ you don’t have many friends, hender?

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Just guessin’ you don’t get much action, or have many friends, or a spell-checker, eh, hender?

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Wow, someone’s off their meds…

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Um, does anyone else recall claiming that your spaghetti was Jesus? ‘Caus I sure didn’t. And I’m going to have to break the unspoken code here, but Jade-Jewel, honey, this is a parody religion. It’s a joke, ok? Or it least it started as a joke, it’s pretty real now. We all get together to laugh at religious fundamentalists. Take a chill pill and wash your mouth out with soap, if you would. But hey, I liked the disciple joke. As disrespectful and pathetic as your comment was, that made me laugh. And I sure hope you someday realise how stupid you sound when you flame people. Because really, you are going to spend your life having people wince at your language and avoid you like the plauge if you don’t calm down and treat people a little nicer. Anyway, bye, thanks for your opinion, have a nice life.

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All I can say is: Don’t they have some kind of tutors in prison? If you ask nicely, maybe they will help you learn some basic rules of grammar. That is, of course, after you master first grade spelling. Good luck to you with your studies. I hope your sentence is a long one so you’ll have time to make some significant progress. And, thanks for your passion for the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Although you’re the first one I’ve heard confess to sexual fantasies about him, I understand how it could happen! He moves us all in different ways. May you be touched by his big black presidential noodly appendage.

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i dont know how to get any of these questions published but what is this
i am not hating or anything i am just wondering

when i was raised i wasnt really pushed
i was just taken to church and i liked it

i liked the youth group

it might of been because it was a small town or because it was comfortable and NOONE was pushing me to do anything

i never really read the bible, i have done some mission trips but when i was there i never had to sit through any boring things that said god was pushing me to do this blah blah it was just i wanted to do it

i honestly feel really sorry for people that have had to be pushed into either finding a religon or accepting someone as your god/savior. i applaud this guy

because people that rely on everlasting salvation are just sad they are cowards and are afraid of the unknown

if they are afraid of the unknown they will be afraid of every single day that they walk outside their own door.

and to some of the guys on here that are saying some of the mean crap to these guys that are just trying to say how they feel… and yes most of the time it is wrong but what yo are doing is going against one of the oldest known peace loving sayings..love thy enemy dont bash him even though he bashes thou. lol ha that sounded cool.

but ya if someone can answer my question about whether this is just a joke against the fact that kansas is full of conservative pricks that believe what is written or is it a serious religon that is trying to change what is being taught to todays youth and want to say hey dont do that do whatever you want like this for instance. ya

-keeping it real-

juice

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Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

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What I like about this is the tolerance and respect so obviously displayed by such a calm, rational philosopher.

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Speaking of food or something, you might want to consider switching to Decaf.

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Ya about that. You FUCKING RETARDED christians think you know every thing. Heres something for me to shove down your retarded ass, JESUS ISN”T THE FUCKING SON OF GOD YOU DUMB SHITS. Jesus never stated he was the son of god Costantine said he was the son of god and then re-wrote the bible. Now I’m not saying all Christians are dumb, all but you. You are the most pathetic, retarded son of a bitch I have ever had to hear about. This religion makes more sense then your Jesus BULL SHIT!! So shut up you mother fucker we don’t want to hear from you. I would like to see any of this “JESUS IS THE SUN OF GOD”. So until then impale yourself on a cross and rot on it and let fucking god save you. If God is real through your eyes why in your hell would he let so many people die??? Think about that you son of a bitch. FSM RULES MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

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Wow. Where does one start to pick this one apart? I’ll start with this: I really hope you have a considerable amount of free time to burn in order to go around and piss on everyones grave. I would think most normal people would have better things to do with their time than that.

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…I wanna try acid. Nice hate mail. Didnt really affect me tho. which is kinda disapointing. Cuz i like to hate on hate mail… but this just kinda wasnt worth it… Oh well. off to the next hate mail! Have a nice life dude.

Peace love and pirates

RAmen

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you call us dumb and you can barely spell..instead of religion you need to go to school and learn a lil something

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wow you need to learn how to spell and b4 you start talking about religion you need to go to school

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too much cursing to even want to try to read all of this one.i thought swearing was a sin for christains.be touched by his noodly appendage jade,and seek some medication.you need it.Ramen

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I assume that our learned correspondent attended an educational institution (I use the phrase in its loosest context) which stuck to the old testament. And he is certainly an admirable example of a disciple who is eager to emulate his master – this is certainly worthy of the vindictiveness and savagery we read so much about in his his holy book.

Oh, wait – I see that he actually knows about Jesus. Well, it’s nice to see such an admirable and devout example of the followers of Christianity. All the sexual repressions typical of the breed in place, too!

And the educational institution obviously didn’t manage to find time to squeeze in any grammar or spelling either……

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Wow this guy is really angry and lost.
Christian Fundamentalists believe every work of Genesis…
I don’t even believe that Phil Collins was a good drummer.

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Wow, this guy is really anger and lost.

Christian Fundamentalists believe every word of Genesis…

I don’t even believe that Phil Collins was a good drummer.

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For someone who really hates the reason of this website, this Jade-Jewel sure can cuss a lot. People like this Jade-Jewel are one of the many reasons why I don’t practice my religion that much.

Sure, they pray often and believe in the Divine and they’ve read their religion’s scripture (they’ve got it memorized by heart as well). They also haven’t missed any of their worship gatherings. But I’m sure as hell that not all of them practice what they’ve been preached or what they’ve been preaching. I’m sure as hell that not all of them practice their religion only because they know they HAVE to.

Here’s something: A lot of people have died in “Holy Wars.” Religion X kills Religion Y and vice versa. Such an barbaric act for something like faith, right? Men are humans in the presence of their god, when they’re out of it, they’re just animals. I’d rather believe in FSM than use God as an excuse to kill, slaughter, and act like an animal.

TO JADE-JEWEL: You’re too narrow-minded. You should’ve read the letter first. If the letter’s too deep for you, you should’ve seen the site’s FAQ’s. Even God is not perfect. He has also made mistakes. Noah’s story, remember?

P.S. Jade-Jewel, I don’t think what you said in your hate mail is W.W.J.D. I don’t even think that’s how Jesus would talk.

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Speaking of food or something, you might want to consider switching to decaf and perhaps also lowering your sugar intake. Just a thought.

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What an incredibly well-articulated example of religious tolerance. Whatever, at least my God’s balls are bigger than this zealot’s.

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Ah, that’s more like it. Threats? Check. Random capitals? Check. Bad spelling, punctuation, grammar? Check. Sexual threats with homosexual overtone? Check.
.
I especially like the way he (?) confounds his own religious indoctrination with ours.
.
RAmen,
acn

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You are a moron. Why don’t you kill yourself?

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Is it just me or does it seem that the majority of people who send the hate-mail are a little short on education? Spelling and grammar certainly seem to be almost completely beyond their scope. Sad really. Well if this is Christianities best than FSMism has no worries!

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Well, duh, no he doesn’t talk to you! One of the “I’d really rather you didn’t”s is to not go around saying FSM talks to you, because “you’re not really that interesting. get over yourself already”. And I am not Pastafarian but when you spit crass insults at them, it offends me. You don’t mess with the Witches and Pirates, honey. If you disagree with this, at least reasonably question Pastafarian beliefs. Or insult Pastafarianism on a higher level of intelligence. Yes, I know this might be tough, but you don’t yet have to be as smart as us. Just a little smarter. For the sake of your offspring (Goddess, Green Man and FSM forbid). Blessed be.

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Wow!! Me first (if I type quickly.)

Dude, either take more or less of your meds. Your dosage at the moment seems off.

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A couple of things you might want to think about. I hope they help.
——
—–

“YOU DUMB BITCH!!!”

While “bitch” alone is often used to mean either gender the phrase, “Dumb bitch,” is generally assumed to be referring to a female. It isn’t clear to whom you are addressing this missive too, so you may want to rethink this saluation.
——
——
“!!”
The over use of the exclamation point is a common error. As a general rule your writing should tell the reader when something is important.
—–
—–
“this is no such thing”
This might read better as, “There is no such. . . ”
—–
—–
“fucking flying spaghetti monster”
A quick perusal of the FSM literature turns up no claim for the “Master of Macaroni,” to have a gender. In any event it isn’t clear how the FSM would have sex in a universe with only one being. Perhaps, in your haste, you typed in “fucking” when in fact you meant “masturbatory.” Try that and see if it doesn’t flow better.
—–
—–
“hes”
This should be “he’s.” There is a sad lack of apostrophies throughout your submission. As there are many examples of the lack of apostrophies I shall not list any more. If you are short here is a generous supply to use in future messages. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
—–
—–
“god”
God, used to refer to a specific being, is generally capitalized as would a person’s name (note the use of the aprostophie to denote a possive state.)
—–
—–
“If he were real i would chop that bitch up”
I don’t want to get into a discussion here of the existance/non-existance of the “Sage of Spirali.” However it is safe to assume that if the “Lord of Lasagne,” is real he would be a God and thus probably safe from random attacks.
—–
—–
“africa”
Please see the entry for “god.”
—–
—–
“SPEGHETTI”
It is actually spelled with an ‘A.’ Spaghetti.
—–
—–
“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Commas (note that an ’s’ used to make something plural does not require an apostophie) also seem to a bit of a mystery to you. There should be one after, “FUCKING SPEGHETTI.” This serves to seperate the phrases, “FUCKING SPAGHETTI,” and, “I MEAN COME ON.” The importance of this can be demonstrated by reading the first four words as a single phrase, “FUCKING SPAGHETTI I MEAN.” A casual reader could interpret this as meaning that you are trying to clear up a misconception of whom you are talking about. No doubt a common problem with you.
The last part about, “SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC,” requires no additional ridicule.
—–
—–
“MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME”
Easily explained. The, “Giver of Gimelli,” does not find us to be an interesting group and rarely speaks to anyone.
—–
—–
“way to funny”
You needed to have used, “too.” There is an easy rule for choosing between “to” and “too.” Say the sentence, “I went tuh the store,” outloud. Then say, “I ate tuh much.” You should notice that the first sentence sounds right while the second doesn’t. That is the key. If the sentence works with “tuh” substituted for “to” then you use “to.” If it doesn’t, then use “too.”
—–
—–
“What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy”
Probably the use of “who” is called for here. Who being used when talking about people. Though you get credit for starting the sentence with a capital letter and spelling spaghetti correctly.
—–
—–
“meat ball”
Should be one word.
—–
—–
“im gonna piss on ALL of your graves”
In most jurisdictions grave desecration is a criminal offence. Desecrating Jewish graves can also be considered a, “Hate crime.” This is a second, separate offence. While there is yet nothing on the books, as far as I’m aware, that specifically includes Pastafarianism among the groups protected by the, “Hate laws,” this could change at any moment. In addition casual threats can also be used as evidence in civil suits.
—–
—–
“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!!”
Please re-read the above.
—–
—–
“Who the”
Should be, “Who is the.” As a general rule a sentence needs both a subject and a verb. The answer to your question is that Bobby Henderson is the prophet to whom the, “Fount of Fussili,” first reavealed himself.
—–
—–
“were on shrums”
While, “shrums,” is sometimes acceptable as a variant spelling this is uncommon. “Shrooms” is more correct.
—–
—–
“like you stupid spaghetti!”
The possive form of “you,” is “your.”
—–
—–
“AND yes i do believe in hell!”
My very imperfect understanding of Christianity (please correct me if I’m wrong in assuming you are a member some Christian sect) is that it is more important to believe in God/Jesus and to repent of evil doings and the like than it is to believe in hell. As you expressed youself (best that be figured out) your reason for believing is to avoid punishment. You may want to rethink this a bit.
—–
—–
“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?”
My reading of the, “Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,” has led me to believe that spreading of the word is a rather back-burner sort of activity. The, “Baker of Bucatini,” has strongly suggested that we not build any churches, thus we have no regular meeting houses, nor any command to get together in His name. Unlike most religions (except the Jews who don’t seem to care one way or the other about gathering adherants) our attempts to gather believers are limited to this website and drunken gatherings at the local titty bar. We may well be the only religion who has never had a war aimed at, “Spreading the word.”
—–
—–
“That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt!”
This is unclear. What exactly do you mean by, “That.” It would have been helpful if you had referrenced a picture or something here so we might see what, “That,” is.
There is, unless you are Scottish, only one ‘r’ in monster.
Using “dumb” as a descriptor implies that the thing being described has the ability to learn, but won’t. Cunt’s, while worthwhile and valuable additions to women, do not have this ability (which may explain why they so often like to gather together with a penis, which is also lacking in that area.)
—–
—–
“SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
A comma between “COCK,” and “BITCH,” is needed. Unless, of course, your cock is a bitch then it is correct. If, “BITCH,” referes to a person you desire fellatio from then a comma is indeed required.
If the election goes to the Democrats you may very well have given your idenity away and this could all come back to haunt you, Mr. Obama.

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As clever and eloquent as your comment was there are just a few problems with it. Like your recommendation on coming up with a religion where the god is “more realistic”. Just in case you missed the irony (and I’m sure a clever person like you wouldn’t have) the whole reason behind the FSM is to point out that believing in a Judeo-Christian god, or any other god for that matter, is about as logical as believing in a FSM. As for your issue with your “speghetti” not talking to you because it is not Jesus, congratulations on having developed the ability to converse with Jesus. You and Joan of Arc (but things didn’t end up so hot for her did they? Great reward God!).

Question for ya: has your god ever swooped down from the sky in times of strife and saved you? Or anyone for that matter? Think about it. Is it really any more logical to believe in a god than a Flying Spaghetti Monster? I’d suggest taking another look at the message of this “religion” and then take some time to think critically about it. Also, It’s really great to see that you plan on pissing on everyone’s graves because of a difference in opinion. I think that’s the way Jesus lived too!

Last thing: as for your comment “JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?”…. Back atcha kid.

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wow .. I can’t believe some morons actually think the FSM is real. Talk about getting your panties in a bunch for nothing

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why did you come to the website then; FSM is about love, not hate. and prove to me that any other religon is believable and realistic. but i don’t want to break one of the 8 ide really rather you didn’ts so im not going to say any more.

RAmen.

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Oh man, this is my new favorite. THE CAPS REALLY CONVINCED ME OF THE IMPORTANT POINTS IN HIS ARGUMENT.

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This is my favorite hate-mail EVER! haha… the grammar, the language, the spelling, the odd capitalizations, the threats. To me this guy is a perfect representation of the sort of people that want to see ID taught in schools. It’s an absolute treasure!

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Calm down… We have every right to worship the Great FSM as you have every right to insult us as you do and you shall not be punished for your inconsiderate action because He shall understand your doubt.

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Dude, chill out! Wheres your imagination! I for one, have no religion but a big imagination so I say YAY FOR THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER! Haha!

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You are going to hell for using your lord’s name in vain though. It’s your hell, you burn.

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Dude! Get a sence of humour!!! And learn how to spell while you’re at it! No offence but seriously your spelling sucks!

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Gack.
It still manages to be funny when these idiots don’t get that it’s NOT SUPPOSED to be taken seriously.

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What is with the vaginal fetish? Afraid of the teeth? Meatballs will overcome this inadequacy.

If your spaghetti doesn’t talk to you, either you offend it or overcook it. Gently fondle it with your lips as you test it for al dente; that is when the human/ spaghetti interaction is optimum. OTOH, the FSM somewhat leery of humans nibbling his noodles; be gentle and use lots of tongue.

This is particularly perplexing: “SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”; are you channeling a possible next president of the USA? Or are you intimating the next president of somewhere will be a BIG BLACK COCK? Or is this a sequence of random words?

These “scream of consciousness” things are so confusing; kinda like “fine art taco photography”.

Old Bogus
An FSM Pirate in the Colorado Mountains
“ArrH!, Matey!”

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That entire thing reminded me of a retarded rendition of R. Kelley’s hip-hopera “Trapped in the Closet.” Not only was your language depressingly low-brow, but was also surprisingly classless and misinformed. First, I have to ask you a question: why is it that no matter how much we stress the fact that this religion is, in fact, a joke, you still insist upon repeatedly asking the question throughout your poorly written rant? Second, why is it that if you belong to a ‘respectable’ religion, you still use incredibly obscene and unnecessary language at every opportunity, basically shitting all over the moral values that you, as Christians, have established. In closure, I award you “best attempt at disproving logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.”

Thank you for essentially proving to us that you are not nearly as intelligent as you make yourself out to be in public,

And also, if your spaghetti isn’t talking, you have a rare form of cancer.

Thanks again, and I really hope that this response will help clear up all of the social flaws that you as a Christian have developed.

–The Scientists for a Better PCR (Look us up on youtube!)

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@juicy,
Yeah man: it’s a joke.
Some of us like to play at it being a real religion but essentially it is satire. Although, if I did have to choose a religion it would be this one. The patron deity is so much more forgiving than any of the others. If you just say sorry and actually mean it then you can go to heaven…

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Ohmiiigoood this is SO HILARIOUS XD

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so is it as crazy as believing in a guy who just suddenly appeared and said on the the second day said let there be light seriously

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I nominate Sandyhook for deacon in the Most Revered Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. As soon as i can fashion a pointy hat from this Barilla Pasta box, I will place it on Sandyhook’s head.

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I have found my home. This was the first thread I read after finding this website. After seeing 99 wonderful, intelligent, spirtited responses to this jackass, I know I am in the company of true brothers/sisters.
After 31 years, I AM HOME!!!

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Christian? lol, “jewel” is not a Christian. He’s just apparently a good ole-fashioned angry nigra with a… presidential cock…

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Well, if this is how more respectable religions teach their followers to respond to other beliefs, then Pastafanarism is already better. Plus, a flying spaghetti monster makes as much sense as a random, omnipotent being who decided for no reason to create the world, establish miracles among people, and then suddenly quit for 2000 years. Because, really, when you die, would you rather be judged by a being that caused plagues, locusts, rivers turning to blood, and the crusades, or a flying spaghetti monster? I know my choice.
RAmen

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I was lost for words after reading this brilliantly stated piece of writing. I may even be so bold to say that the depth and profoundness of it compare to the epic “Lip Gloss,” by Lil Mama. The words you used, “IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME” are comparable to the eloquently stated “My lip gloss be poppin.” Of course, I’m sure it must have been difficult to even attempt to match the depth of Lil Mama. I most certainly applaud your, as aforementioned, brilliant try.

Please contact me if you have any interest in this piece being published. I’m sure it would attract a vast audience.

Thank you!

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well .. it never ceases to amuse me that there are so many self opinionated religious zealots out there.

it is people like jade-jewels comments that offer us an insight into things like 9-11 and the dark ages … so if i have this correct .. (and i do !!!) this plebicite would have us believe that a person who believes in anything other than his/her opinion is going to hell and lake of fire – death blah blah blah …

well im afraid that there is a little problem there jackass and that is that people like YOU are actually more despised by your own god than people like US.

besides at least the FSM has some scientific base as opposed to your little jesus and the disciples fabrication.Admittedly it has some interesting characters but i found the plot a little thin and contrived .. maybe it would be better as a movie with woody harrolson or nicholas cage as jesus ???…maybe give him a flaming motorbike .. oh wait thats done .. or a catch phrase like ” im sick of these motherfucking demons on my motherucking planet” or something …. we will leave the details up to you …

furthermore .. are you still there anus face ? ? you claim to be a person of “GOD” .. not with a potty mouth like that you loser … you may be religious .. but your not a christian.

by the way .. i have been training in martial arts for nearly 20 years .. and the only thing i will be doing with your BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK is chopping it into chunks with my katana- mixing it with a big cup of “shut the fuck up” and giving you a little well deserved enema you retard…. grow up !!! or better stilll .. dont grow up but go live on another planet and leave us the fuck alone………..

signed the rest of the world.

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He was an angry young lad! You kind sir, are in need of a mood stabilizer.

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SandyHook! Fantastic post! Way to go!
.
Unfortunately, I doubt that jade-jewel will ever understand, if he/she/it even reads it.
.
RAmen

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Nate,
.
Welcome to the fold. May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage and bathed in the warmth of His Sauce forever.
.
RAmen

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Is it just me or is there actually a common thread connecting foul language, bad grammar, atrocious spelling, a lack of sense of humour and Christian zealots? Myself, I’d rather be God loving than God fearing and I just love a good Godly spaghetti!

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