YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god ! If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell! FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” Do you guys like revolve around food or something? Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!? Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?
WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!
- jade-jewel
you dumb bitch
Published by Bobby Henderson February 20th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 472 Comments
472 Responses to “you dumb bitch”
Where did you learn those flavorful words and insults? Church?
And won’t Mr. Jesus be mad for using his name in vain?
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haha, fun-ee. i like people who really think like this. they say “oh, FUCK spaghetti! you’re all dumb! Go DIE! Your GOD IS FUCKING FOOD!” and so on. but there isnt really proof of any god. no solid proof. Jesus, sure he can be real, probably is, what makes him the son of god? why does the image of man have to be god? god might as well be the air we breathe, slowly getting more polluted, so we die a slow death because of the horrible things we’ve wrought(or however that word is used..you know what i mean lol) its jesus humpers like these that make me not believe in any god whatso ever. But Kudos to The Flying Spaghetti Monster and all of His Divine Followers, cause your just as believeable as the rest of them. =)
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this is odd
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Your village called. They want their idiot back.
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Your village called, they want their idiot back.
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“SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!” and they are the sick, demented ones?
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Hey!
Hi, you can call me Rudy.
By the way,
dude, {or girl}
you’re an idiot.
Seriously,
I think it’s awesome the earth was made by a flying speghetti monster.
And humans evolved from pirates.
^^
I’d help the roaming pirate ship church if i had the money.
Sadly, I don’t.
Open your mind!
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Typical negro response, all violence and no rational.
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i agree wtf is this dumb shit flying? spaghetti? monster? would god be a monster? i mean this is so fucking hilarious ive put pics all over my myspace in exurburent laughter of the whole topic..my friends think this is hilarious….the stupid fucking picture of the water that resembles the “FSM”…that was just the random motion of water…wtf yall r all dumbasses…REPENT NOW…or youll go to hell..its not too late…God accepts any1 who believes………
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Wow, wait to knock someone down in a totally disrespectful manner, Jesus Christ.
You don’t know any better than the next person that it is real or not. I’m not saying I do,
but be open minded and stop being such a little bitch and insult the first thing you read that goes against what you think.
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Spaghetti is perfectly realistic.
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I hope FSM can positively impact your life with his noodly appendage. Ramen.
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Wow, so are you going to hell for drugs, language, stupidity, or overall bad attitude? That’s just unpleasant – unlike the thoughts of a beer volcano and stripper factory while cutting jokes with the FSM.
May you see the pasta,
RAmen
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Force feed me facts about spaghetti…yummy.
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Well, someone needs a chill pill…
Which is more believable? A giant man sitting up in the sky controlling our world, who created it out of nothing with a click of his fingers (maybe the universe is like a clap on light? clap on, clap off, clap on, clap off… :D ), or is a great Flying Spaghetti Monster that created everything out of the Chaos?
Lol, at least we dont get all riled up when you christian-types insult OUR religion!
Peace love and pirates!
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haha. missing the whole point. silly man.
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These bible bathers and bible blatherers are getting less and less intelligent. First, they didn’t understand the bible to begin with, then they didn’t understand pastafarianism, then they didn’t understand sarcasm, and now they don’t even understand gender.
At this rate, we’ll be lucky if they don’t start eating live people at random for lack of an understanding of food.
A response to jade-jewel, of the boring bible religeon. It’s boring because I say so(and I added it as a pastarific prophetic holy addendum to the back cover of a bible), so it must be true. I guess I should shove FSM pamphlets into some of the document slots at a bank now…
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Another fundie enters the mix, another waste of perfectly good electricity. I really wonder how people like this can even use a computer to type this out. I also wonder about motive. Does this sort of thing ever really change anyone’s ideas? Really, I’d like to know.
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Does this sort of thing ever change anyone’s mind about anything, or is everyone else like me, cleaning the laugh spittle off the monitor?
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“You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around.”
Indeed i would also like to know what drugs if any my fellow pastafarians possess. Don’t hold out on me guys, pass that shit around
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“big black dick” head
You must be retarded, its not that he is real, its the fact that ppl are trying to push there religions on other ppl so as a retaliation to the school system shoving that bs down the throats of OUR kids is the creation of another method of creation…. there is and never has been any physical proof of a “god” or jesus… http://www.zeitgeist.com watch it. god and jesus are metaphors, not real beings.. if you really believe that we were just put here than have fun.. but we dont need your bible thumping preaching.. the flying spaghetti monster is a mockery of religion, so fuck you. religion is all a cult! im glad it makes you happy, to each there own.. just respect our choice to be open minded
-M1N157RY-
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… Obama?
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Yeah so like, as we Christians eat the symbolic body of Christ, do you FSMs eat the symbolic body of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Because to be honest I’d really like to experience that.
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Sigh. Taking the lord’s name in vain, aren’t you?
Firstly, learn about grammar, punctuation and spelling. Then try putting it into practice. After that has been completed and close to perfected, you can go and learn that caps lock just makes you look like more of a dickweed than you think.
Why don’t you go to hell, Mr. Fundamentalist.
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Riiiiiiiiiight. I’d recommend anger management classes in this case.
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for someone who is (presumably) a Christian, this guy (or girl) certainly is very angry and hateful, not to mention intolerant of the beliefs of others. i’m sure most of his fellow Christians would disown him for his comments, but the reality is that a great number of Christians really think like this. “SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!” – is he pretending to be Obama?
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Is this one reply, or many different ones just crammed together?
Which ever it is, I applaud you for such great use of the english vocabulary and fine, exciting twists in the plot. This short story was a wonderful read, with the text just flowing beneath my eyes. I especially enjoyed how the young and enthusiastic author played with the witty grammar and many an exclamation mark.
I hope you do well in the future and publish many more outstanding short stories. Such excitement!
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Did they force fed you all that Christian theory? And since your proud of your big black appendage, why don’t you think about the force fed African when they were colonised by some freaky priest/slave capturer/slave seller/gold stealers…. don’t you realise that the people who made your ancestors (and/or the african) that hungry are the same piece of trash that came up with the Idea of parthenogenous boy spreading piece….
Jesus is fucking metal,
Peace, love and Pirates !
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Hello friend,
can you explain how you know the flying spaghetti monster is NOT real (which he is) and Jesus is real..?
It appears though that our religion has the same amount of evidence as yours, we have a gospel, thousands of followers and people who have seen the flying spaghetti monster too! I dont see how you can claim our religion is foolish at all, unless yours is as foolish as ours maybe..?
Do you understand the message the Flying Spaghetti Monster brings yet?
RA-men.
You are very angry for a christian by the way.
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Hello friend,
can you explain how you know the flying spaghetti monster is not real (which he is) and Jesus is real..?
It appears though that our religion has the same amount of evidence as yours, we have a gospel, followers and people who have seen the flying spaghetti monster! I dont see how you can claim our religion is foolish at all, unless yours is as foolish as ours maybe..?
Do you understand the message the Flying Spaghetti Monster brings yet?
RA-men.
You are very angry for a christian by the way.
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“AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
but you are going to hell for being an asshole, and if you don’t go to hell, then i will so i won’t see you, seriously, i don’t need to put up with people like you for the rest of eternity.
FSM is the only true god and way of life, how can people look around and NOT see it’s all a creation of a Flying Spaghetti Monster?!
Ramen.
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“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!”
Wait wait, back up- More realistic? So taking something we KNOW to be real (Such as Spaghetti) and claiming that it’s on some level POSSIBLE that a being is taking the FORM of pasta is less likely then, oh, i dont know-
A magical bearded hippie that lives in the sky and becomes depressed when other’s don’e believe in him?
OH! or how about his son, who came to earth x-amount of years ago to be killed, then ressurected as a zombie? AND that when, given the proper blessings, you worship said zombie, then stale bread and wine will become his blood, which we MUST THEN CONSUME?
Cannibalistic savagery, i say!
You’re right, he’s not Jesus- He’s the FSM, and his noodley appendages reach far and wide.
RAmen
P.S.: That’s a lot of anger and rage that manifests in cursing and hate… EVEN if (and i’m going out on a massive appendage here) God and Jesus and virgin births were real…. would Jesus want you to be so hateful towards others?
I say nay- I think he would say to let dad sort them out.
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It’s too bad a lot of people don’t read the school board letter before saying their ignorant and often stupid remarks on this site.
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I think this person has very few friends. I wonder if she/he forgot to take her meds??
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“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?”
Sorry, Sweetheart, but you must have us mistaken for the religion with the bearded man in the sky and the constant contradictions coming from the book that’s supposedly the word of mouth of his drug dealer son.
“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
So, that would be the only circumstance in which you will help those poor children? Oh, you’re so considerate.
*sigh* This kid obviously has some issues within him/herself/hermaphrodite (jade-jewel having a big black presidential cock bitch?) aside from the obvious lack of attention paid in it’s English courses in grade school, so, my brothers and sisters, we should all pray to his Noodliness to help it return to the light and vanquish all of it’s inner demons.
May the Pasta be with you.
RAmen
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Dear Jade-Jewel,
I would suck your big black presidential cock, bitch, but unfortunately our Lord, FSM, discourages us from taking part in sexual relationships with people who are unable to express themselves without using 32+ exclamation points in a single paragraph.
Also, as you do believe in Hell, I would like to take a moment to say that you are either Muslim or Christian, and either way, you believe that Jesus Christ is a superior being. That is fine. However, please remember your rules to not take his name in vain.
Please give my regards to the big JC-man once you go up to Heaven, since you’re clearly not going to hell, as you said.
Thank you,
Joyful Chrysanthemum III
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Wow ur stupid its a joke obiviously how old are u 9?
Great stuff man =]
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Its a joke obvioulsy how old are you 9?
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you are absolutely correct. all of us pastafarians are indeed dumb bitches. none of us have ever read a book other than the gospel of the FSM. none of us have ever analyzed anything or taken a moment to think critically. most of us stole our undergraduate and graduate degrees from universities that may or may not exist (including the prophet, bobby… the laws of physics don’t actually exist. not quite sure how he managed to earn a degree in some derivative of the human imagination, but to each his own i guess). but the most revealing fault of all of us dumb bitches is that we have read the gospel and taken it for infallible truth (except for certain “progressive” sects of FSM that understand that pieces of the gospel are not true, while other portions of it are. i wish they would teach me how to pick and choose which excerpts from the gospel should be believed and which ones shouldn’t). as for the rest of us, we all follow the gospel without ever questioning it. some of us even go so far as to threaten other religions, proclaim that nonbelievers will go to a hell of flat beer and VD, and expound loads of emotionally uninformed religious rhetoric in attempt to scare/convert nonbelievers. but thankfully for us, nobody has ever scientifically or empirically disproven the existence of our god or the truth of our gospel, so we can continue through life as tremendous nonthinkers, buying wholesale the alleged myths and untruths found in the gospel of the FSM.
i suppose the best piece of advice you could offer any of us is to wake up. read a book or two. think independently. ask a question here or there. become aware and critical when an FSM religious leader tries to sell us lie after lie.
as always, we appreciate you proving our point for us.
RAmen
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More comments from the lunatic Christian fringe. Satire is not jj’s strength. I wonder if jj speaks to her mother with that mouth. Nasty, nasty jj.
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This is a mock religion sir, and was made for the specific purpose of arguing that Inteligent design should not be taught in schools. It was not made as a “true religion” but just as a means to prove a point.
so deal with it kid, this is america and anyone is free to believe what they wish, and persectuting others for their beliefs is something straight out of the dark ages, along with christianity.
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Seems like SOMEONE won’t enjoy his volcanoes and factories in the afterlife.
It’s not okay to believe in FSM, but it IS okay to believe that your god is a zombie that is his own father?
I can totally see why you’re angry.
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A fine summary of the ridiculousness and hypocrisy of all of the world religions. (Except ours of course.)
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WOW! Just wow.
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Dear jade-jewel:
Okay, you’ve gotten up the nerve to use “bad” words in an anonymous setting, but you are still so young you think adults will be shocked or offended by them. So you are very young indeed. That’s okay, we were all young once. By the way, if you want to be taken seriously, you need to learn how to use your spell checker. Otherwise, you look like a real n00b.
As for your message, all I can say is that eating spaghetti (note the spelling)is a sacriment to pastafarians, except we don’t need a miracle to turn such a meal into the body of our God. It already is.
Here’s a thought: You seem to be at the stage when upsetting your elders is important to you. Have you considered the possiblities of converting to FSM in that light?
Seriously, go and read the main letter, consider it in its context and then look up the word “parody” and the phrase “reductio ad absurdum”in a dictionary. No, no, I don’t care what you’ve heard, using the dictionary will not turn you into a fag.
Remember, ignorance is not your fault, but it is your problem. You are the one who has to solve it. Good luck.
RAmen!
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I suppose you neglected to read any of the material on this website. If you did happen to arrive at your moronic conclusion after reading said material, well then you are just a pretty pathetic human being.
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Hook, line & sinker! There really is one born every minute!
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Hook, line & sinker!! -There really is one born every minute!
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You make an excellent case.
Let me offer a response…
GO AWAY!
Our noodley lord is not an angry god, but he *can* be angered – Consider that you may face an afterlife without strippers OR beer!
I suggest you find a pirate and buy him a beer today as a means of showing penitence. TODAY.
Ramen.
Follower of the Noodle.
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Jesus isn’t your god, he is your god’s son. Learn your own religion before you make fun of others.
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